Are magazines that sell make-up adds with "pretty" models like YM and shit the devil? And we wonder why everyone is insecure. R Dire
those are just things given to impressionable young girls to convince them that they need to spend time thinking about stupid bullshit instead of real things... who needs a devil when there are other humans around that do a much better job of making life suck?

Why do bus-drivers who drive little kids go insane and shoot up the bus or kidnap them? Is it because the little bastards wouldn't shut up or because they forget to wipe their asses? What is it... really? R Dire
well lets face it... children suck... they are loud, annoying and when you steal their toys they cry... if you had to listen to that bullshit while dealing with the asshole drivers on the road... wouldn't you just want to kill them too? i think there is a certain note that kids can produce with whining that causes our instincts to take over and just snap their necks... i bet there are case studies on this somewhere

Is alcohol really the answer to life's problems? R Dire
not all of them..

I swallowed a small salamander (about 4 inches long) yesterday and then puked the little fukker back up. Is this normal? R Dire
yes... unless you taped it... in that case send it to me... there is a cky/jackass episode that has a guy doing that with a goldfish

why did that d00d use "punk" as an insult? i take "punk" to be a complement. i think we should ppl like that. can we shoot ppl like that? how bout we start a "shoot ppl who are twats" campaign? it would be much quicker than sterlising the whole human race, as there among us, some decent ppl. - Fido Dido
exactly... punk is good... and your 'shoot pple who are twats' ties in nicely with my 'kill all humans' plan... if your definition of 'sterilizing' someone is shooting them then go ahead and start sterilizing people....

Hitler was a vegetarian painter. Last time I checked we were both vegetarian. I'm a writer, you're a Sock Monkey. Do you think we'll have a similar place in the history books? - Mzebonga
I'm a writer too i think... and damn straight we will... i've been writing 'my story' in history books whenever i find them... no matter how meanly the librarian looks at me

What was it, in my otherwise sound mind, did I like Celine Dion for the space of around 6 months when I was about 14? Would you attribute it to personal issues? How about closet homosexuality? How about a part of me desiring sanity in any form before my body crushed it with a violence unbriddled? It's funny, though. The words "Celine Dion" make me cringe. How could I have been so naive? - Mzebonga
i think you have some serious issues and should participate in extensive group therapy involving wood, a small kitchen, some cabinets that contain supplies for other groups, sugar cubes, saws and more saws... by balancing yourself with the group you will learn to control yourself in a more productive manner... and don't forget there are plenty of saws for everyone to play with

can u please do me a walk through of the best way to jerk someone off? i need step by step instructions to give my man the most pleasure as possible. thanx DC!! ;-)
it's more of a hands on kinda training... so come over here and we'll spend a few hours on it

Why don't people hold doors open for each other anymore? McDiablo
people are just fucking rude...

Don't you think my mouse pad is the ugliest one you've ever seen? McDiablo
hell no... that one i saw that time was uglier... i don't even have one

why do stars suddenly appear everytime you are near?
I'm super fantastic and the universe revolves around me

dc...... is it wrong for me to think of you in this ultra-sexual way? -mandy-
not at all unless this is you again grandma

What does it mean when people say you look like a monkey?
it means you're sexy and everyone wants to touch your ass

Does ET scare the crap out of you?-Swanky
no it makes me want to kick it's head... so i can hear what it would sound like

what would you do if you were trapped in an igloo with rabid peniguins and all that you had was a purple marker and acrocodile tooth?
well i'd write "damn I'm fucked" on my chest and then join the penguins in their quest for 'more ice'

I'd hate to be living in cancun for spring break, what do you think we should do with all the half naked horny idiots?-marissa
have them sign over their money to me and then kill themselves... poison the beer and line the condoms with some sort of corrosive material

MY PERSONAL MESSAGING BOARD! what does DC sterilize locks on the 24 colors on plants? what does DC sterilize locks on the 24 colors on plants?what does DC sterilize locks on the 24 colors on plants? blasdkjffdsf my name is scott stevens. my e~mail is oops i just broke every rule

its kind of amusing so i didn't delete it

Did i have monkeys for dinner; or did i just use monkey flavored tooth paste? can i have a dinosaur-butt on my Q? cuz i mean, ur being mean to monkeys and all by having thier ass'es printed on the net? and did you know this was written by an 8 year old child who has nothing to do cuz his parents are out to dinner? i did. well it was nice talking to you. i hope you have enjoyed playing basketball with willie the whaleman. because the red dog screams bloddy gurgle... or was the happy fish APOLO IS DEAD! mooses are the flavor of north kentuky where people like to read read READ! lalalalala. ok bye mr. DC.
monkey flavored tooth paste? hmmmmm.... monkey asses? have i told you about this group therapy thing? there is plenty of room there for you too... and saws

ALLRIGHT! this is the question to top them all and if it is'nt ide also like to ask this question before it if i don't get a good Q award on this one should i shoot myself? allright..... Why does the shitiest cheapest smelliest cheese taste really good but the small packaged in little round plactic thing like gourmey cheeses taste like shit?-Sk8erGecko
it's an experiment the government is conducting... think about it

have you ever seen saturday night live with that pat person? what is the true sex of pat?-sk8ergecko
yes i have... and i think it's a chick

how much marijauna should i smoke if i wish to become the leader of the free world when they legallize weed?-Sk8erGecko
well I'd assume you just keep smoking until you think you've accomplished it... then you can build me a spaceship so i can go back home

How many more questions will i ask before i get a good question award?-Sk8erGecko
I'm not sure... i guess we'll find out

Why did the chicken really cross the road?-Sk8erGecko
there was no road...

Why did the KKK were those stupid fucking white pillow cases on there heads?-Sk8erGecko
i honestly have no idea... if they're so into what they believe then they shouldn't cover their faces...

if you take the movies freddy got fingered, rat race, american pie one and 2 and mix them all togethor what will tom green be doing with a pie horse and a bunch of keys in the first seen?-Sk8erGecko
he'd be fucking the horse while it ate pie... i haven't seen rat race or the first american pie... i feel like I've lost a bit of my life by watching american pie 2... what a stupid movie... freddie got fingered was wicked

what the fuck is stuck up my ass and how can i train it to take over the world and help you in your sterilization program?-Sk8erGecko
start by shaving your head... i don't know why but it seems that all true movements begin with the shaving of the head... so do that... watch fight club... take notes and then report back

I've looked at your pictures and noticed you have a eyebrow peircing am i correct and when did you have it done?-Sk8erGecko
yes you are correct and it was done a few weeks ago

is it at all possile to catch a cow with a peice of string and a thumb tack and how can i acheive this?-Sk8erGecko
yes it is... but if i told you then I'd be breaking a confidentiality agreement i signed when i perfected the technique

How do you get oprah of the air with use of a handy dandy notebook and a cheese doodle?-Sk8erGecko
you write down in the notebook 'OPRAH SUCKS', eat the cheese doodle, unplug the tv, then beat the shit out of it... no more oprah...

If you ate shit what would it then turn into when it reached the other side of your body and came out your rear if it was shit in the first place?-Sk8erGecko
it would be shitter shit then the first shit

It says in your rules that i have the option of bribing you is blackmail also a option and its just unlisted?-Sk8erGecko
blackmail is an option if you can find such material to sufficiently embarrass me

How come they sterilize the 24 hour store before they inject the creme into the arm of a senior on life support?also can you plz tell me wtf i just said?-Sk8erGecko
well you tried to make a sentence out of words listed as my rules... people seem to be distracted... how about some wood... or saws?

If your a sockmonkey made from thread where were you manufactured?-Sk8erGecko
my mom made me

How many rabbit sock monkeys does it take to overthrow are national government with the aide of my self a m4+m203 assault rifle and you if you decided to join the frey?-Sk8erGecko
without me it would take 5821454852368745952154863259731519861 of them but WITH me only 4554962

How many dicks does it take to get to the center of a pussy toll booth?-Sk8erGecko
12 on any day but sunday... on sundays its 85

Why can't you see California without Marlon Brando's Eyes? R Dire
i'm not sure... i haven't tried that yet

Why do they call Walgreens "Walgreens"? I never understood that shit. R Dire
i blame the green grass... if it had been blue then it'd be the walblues

Can you show me the way to the promised land where rivers of alcohol flow free and squirrels are not hunted for nuts and also where children play freely amongst the midgets? R Dire
if i knew the way i'd be there instead of here... and i would kill all who tried to trespass

Give me an explanation to the voice inside your head that speaks to you. You can hear this voice, but you do not use your mouth or your ears. So how do you know that you are listening to this voice?
you can't really proove it... so just live with it until it starts telling you to do things you don't want to do... then you have to stab your ears with a qtip until it's quiet

I dont know how about wood or saws?-Sk8erGecko
well you'll find out... if not then you will be eaten

are you feeling generous today? would you like to gve me a good question award? keep in mind if the answer to the last question is yes you do have to give me a good question award its the rule and don't try to say you don't fallow rules-Sk8erGecko
no not really... and no not really again... and hell no i don't have to follow rules... there are no rules set out for me giving the award... it's purely on a whim

why don't the presidents actually pay off the national debt? they say there going to do it every election why do they lie?-Sk8erGecko
they all lie all the time... somehow they are paid to lie

Will i ever win the lottery?What are my lucky powerball numbers?When should i play them?oh yes and if you answer correct i will probably donate to your site so don't screw me over sock monkey i'm on to you-Sk8erGecko
sure... and they are 2 46 88 4 75 21 54... play them now... and if i'm wrong you should pay me anyways for trying...

Would you like a dollar?-Sk8erGecko
yes.. i would like many dollars

Why do big long questions seem to always win the award?-Sk8erGecko
well they don't always... and look... all the good questions on one page...

How much would it cost to have a hooker get naked with me get in a hot tub filled with peptal bismal then i clip her toe nails and she shaves my buttocks?-Sk8erGecko
it depends on where you live and if you've washed lately

What happened to Pee Wee Herman?-Sk8erGecko
i think he turned into a vampire for awhile...

Is elvis still alive?What happened to him?-Sk8erGecko
he was a robot... and he was sent back

Is adolf hitler still alive?What hapened to him?-Sk8erGecko
i don't think so... i think he was killed awhile ago or something

Am I not as think as you drunk i am?-Sk8erGecko
hell yea

I think i've asked this but i cant find the answer were can i get my own sockmonkey?-Sk8erGecko
well any that i have found online are quite expensive... so i guess its best to get the socks, then force someone to make you one... or give me 50 bucks and i'll get someone to make you one

How can I become a MIB? -Sk8erGecko
grab one of them flashy things and force them to let you

How can i smoke myself retarded? -Sk8erGecko
i haven't found that out yet... i'll let you know when i know

How come i have sloppy spelling?-Sk8erGecko
i blame your parents

Whats really up?-Sk8erGecko
nothing really... everything is in motion so there is no REAL up and down... only the percieved

Why does Utah suck so fukkin much? Is it cuz their alcohol is lower in percentage than everyone else's? Or is it all the religious fucks? R Dire
i have never been to utah.. if you pay me to go then i'll let you know why i think it sucks

How's the weather? R Dire
well it's been kinda cold lately... i want the summer to come so i can go camping

If this place is so insane; why does DC seem like the most informed and, perhaps, one of the sanest people in existance?
it's all done with smoke and mirrors...

I'm off to Singapore in a few weeks. What do you think I should do during my trip?
have a good time and be nice to others

...What the fuck is with the gay nicknames everyone uses to post when asking you questions?
who are you to judge our nicknames? too bad for you

Dick Cocksucker will you eat my poop?
i don't know of this 'dick cocksucker' you speak of

Dick Cocksucker can vegetarians eat poop as long as the person who shat it is a vegetarian or is poop just naturally a vegetarian encore, like those healthy microwave thinghies ?
if they are truly vegetarian then they would not eat shit that may contain meat

Dick Cocksucker I have come up with an insane solution to an insane problem, ie. I become a bike messenger in NYC and dodge traffic for a living while starting a band to cause mayhem and destruction, I have it all planned out- do you say yea or nea? Realise that your opinion could have a drastic effect on the outcome of the world so what say ye yea or nea? Well goddamnit answer me,yea or nea? Comeon on now your momma or should I say moooma said yea, so how bout a yea? Well fine don't answer me then.
i think you should just stick to the bike messenger thing until you are run down and killed by a cab

why oh Why has God cursed us with Ben Stiller? Did we do anything wrong?-- Mistofflies
yes... that time you didn't eat your veggies and your mom said that 'what goes around comes around'... well this is the punishment...

why did the patriots destroy their names by means of a virus immitating foxdie if they were allready dead therefore not making a difference if anyone knew there name or not??
whatever you're talking about sounds interesting but i don't know specifically what you're referring to... so i say they did it in spite... just to prove a point

what is a brazillian shave?
no idea

In Rome, did they call IV needles 4 needles?
well aren't you clever... how is that working out for you.. you know... being clever?

Did we really go to the moon?Or is it true tht we faked it just to piss off the russians?-Sk8erGecko
i sure hope someone has gotten to the damn moon... if not then i'm pissed and demand action to be take to get up there... we should be building spaceships on the moon... we wouldn't have to have so much fuel wasted just getting away from earth

Why is SAnimal such a prick?-Sk8erGecko
born that way really... but it could be the numerous blows to the head too

Do you like to prick authority? McDiablo
depends on my mood and how much time i have

My evil laugh is "bwa ha haa". What is yours? McDiablo
i don't have an evil laugh... just an evil smirk/grin

How come parents say on thing, mean another, then expect you to know what their on about?
they are just playing with your head... they have hidden cameras on you all the time

"Goddamn you half Japanese it to me everytime..." What do you think Rivers Cuomo was thinking when he wrote that lyric? McDiablo
he was probably thinking about those half japanese and half robots... they do it to me everytime too

I've had 4 slurpees this week.. am i going to go to heck for it? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... but you'll have a good time

I am afraid that one of these days, an elephant is going to sneak up behind me and touch my bum with it's trunk. What's your worst fear? Vista
that i'll be forced to live forever with you humans... and fuzzy stuff

I have a teacher who uses sayings like "Pleased As Punch", "Clear as Mud" and "Done Like Dinner", i think he might be "playing for the other team" what do you think? - Guitarded
well he can play for any team and still sound like an idiot... i think perhaps he has no team and that's the problem

Is there such a thing as Emo-ality? -Miss Roger's Sweater
no... it's all lies

I have trouble staying awake in music history class.. there's only so much mozart i can take.. what do you reccommend i do to help me stay awake in class? - Guitarded
stop going... that way you will never sleep in it

How can one possibly be in love with 2 ppl at the same time , loving one yet needing the other even more?
it happens... i think you should send me some money and i'll give you a more detailed answer

I already asked SAnimal when he's gonna answer his questions... you swear like I got an answer... R Dire
he sucks... why are you even asking him questions?

Does Subway put addictive chemicals in their sandwich's that makes me crave for them daily? R Dire
yes they do actually... it's in the bread

Are you REALLY insane? R Dire
not REALLY... just really

I like bright colours. Bright colours are nice. Mmmmm, green on blue and yellow and orange. Actually, I think the accurate colour name is Gold but it's pretty damn yellow if you ask me. It used to look really shitty before I moved it around. It was a brown and pink/orange/tan colour. It looked rubbish. So, I changed it. The original design was black, red and white, even before I found this place. But that only lasted a week before I traded it in for something a bit brighter. Too many things in life are dark and shady so i made something bright and breezy. Anyhow, there are black bits - you just need to look at the whole place and contribute by asking questions or whatever you do. That's "you" as in the wider third person aspect like "one". Anyway, why would you want to suck my ass in the first place? - Mzebonga
why not... you've got a damn sweet ass

Dear d rire your dream means that you are gay, so post your number on the website so my sexy ass can rape your sexy ass.
this isn't a question... and i've given you my number so why haven't you called?

Yo Dick Cocksucker, give me a good question award cause I'm moving and wholeheartedly support the noncormist movement? Oh yeah my question is what do most office people resemble: robots, animals, or zombies?

Yo Dick Cocksucker you can not spot a question without a question mark, is this a sign that your retarded or just canadian? And your beer sucks too.
it's not MY beer...

How come we don't talk anymore? Sally
i think it's the time difference and the damn busy schedule i've had...

Are you having a good easter holiday? Sally
oh yea... easter... i don't celebrate that

Is it possible to be illegaly insane? R Dire
yes... i do that

If you were a marble, would you eat lettuce? And if you did, would you want to play music? But... If you didn't... Would you kill Dorritos? R Dire
yes i would... of course and yes

should i kill the squirrel? - Fido Dido
not today

communism is better than capitalism. dontcha agree? - Fido Dido
i think that people should send me more books

here is your other $7000. and here is another $10,000 so i dont have to ask a question. - Fido Dido
i want 70,000... so keep sending me more money

how old does a girl have to be to get pregnant?
um... 8?

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? because I dont know how much wood could a wood chuck chuck, cuz a wood chuck cant chuck wood
damn wood chucks

How do they get those boats in those teeny tiny bottles? - the DAmbro
elves build the ships in there

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
to mess up people and spell checkers everywhere

Umm... i dreamt this 1 haha... what do sheep count if theyr tired? ~the DAmbro

What ever happened to White History month? (october)
i'm waiting for insane month

If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? and If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently? ~the DAmbro

yes they do and why the hell would the shape change

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it? ~DAmbro
a million times deeper... damn sponges

Can I have my motha fucking movie cheque? Jay
only after i get mine

How do they cram all that graham into golden grahams?
they use brooms

If you have a right of passage and are ready to go then why refuse to leave. i mean its easy to go there. its only on the thither thather side of the Gonk! Gonk!--Mistofflies
um... i'd have to say green

why the fuck are stupid hardcore arseholes that are so up themselves they can't get out so common? Do groups of them get together to act out their stupid fucking peurile fantasies, and thereby add thousands of other pieces of shit to the world? Why don't we just hunt them down and skin them alive? It would be most fun. Will you help?
well that depends on your definition of hardcore... but either way people suck

My personal motto is a quote from an 18th century poem: "There is pleasure in madness, to be sure, that none but madmen know". Is this a good motto? And I liked your answer to Mzebonga's question about falling, though you ripped it off from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".
everyone should know that it comes from the hitchhickers guide.... if not then read it now...

God damn I hate those fucking bigotted shits of guys who think of girls as something that they can use to their own advantage, and get rid of once they get boring!!!! I sit on the bus and hear guys behind me planning to make a girl go out with one of their friends, and I wanted to turn around and say, "God you guys are fucking sad!!! Don't you understand that someone has a right to their own decisions, and that you should respect that?!" These supposed "guys" are really just a bunch of spineless shits who are too stupid and bigotted to ever get noticed by someone who is actually worth noticing, so they just play their petty games, ruining the lives of so many people!!! I fucking hate them!!! What do you think about these stupid fucking dregs of humanity? - Fish
i think they should be sterlized... and shot... in that order... people who play head games suck

What is so bad about communism? - Mzebonga
i'm not sure... i don't really know much about that sorta stuff... get empriss nikon to tell you

so who's better? chewbacca, or hans? i'd say chewy cause he's a sexy beast, but that's just me......what's your take on this? -henry p.winkler
that roaring noise pisses me off... so i'll go with hans

so i was watching jenny jones today (i don't know why), anyways, it was on phoebias. This one lady was afraid of little people, which was kinda weird cause she thought that the midgets were gonna attack her because they're "creepy". so my question is, what are you afraid of, any weird phoebias you have? - henry p.winkle
rocks in water, deep water, horses, the metal pick at the dentist... to name a few

in the song "we are the champions", who's we? -henry p.winkle
me and my imaginary friends

i want to join the circus. would you say that the carney life is for me? -henry p.winkle
um no... market it online and have web cams

Who is more obsessed/depressed/insane, DC-Swanky-Or ANYONE ELSE LOOKING AT THIS PAGE! Come on, this is bullshit and you all know it - Still feeling rather content though in your sad little existence. In fact I don't need you to answer any question at all - I've answer it myself! DC is the 'prep' , the follower addicted to the fads. Posing well as a 'leader' here, failing in the eyes of the actual insane of course. Swanky, just wants to be with popular old DC, prep himself bu not a popular he needs DC - You're all so fucking gay. You're American right, Jesus, your country man :) :) :) :) :) Do you enjoy spring mornings?
i'm not really the obsessive type... i'll go with me being the most insane... i kinda tuned out for the rest of your question or whatever

I think my physics teacher is f**king with me on this, what does E=MC squared REALLY mean??
well the C stands for the speed of light... i think...

How would one go about hijacking this website? (just curious..)
i'm not telling you

Why do you call me a freak? You don't know me! What's your motivation? And my question isn't pathetic!
being a freak is a good thing

Why do people that are trying to lose weight buy a hot dog with EXTRA, EXTRA onions?(which are very buttery) -Swanky
i'm not sure???

How Long is a chinese man?
no idea

Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A padded room. With rats. Alot of rats. Rats drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A padded room. With rats. Alot of rats. Rats drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A padded room. With rats. Alot of rats. Rats drive me crazy. Crazy am i?
um.... yes

I have a serious question for you and i want you to be completely honest with me, okay? Where have all the cowboys gone?
they died...

Why are the other players in Microsoft Hearts conspiring to kill me?
they hate you... they are bitches

Am I a fool? I have various nicknames, though people often refer to me as idiot, often prefixed by fucking. This often occurs when I perform some particularly stupid feat, such as discussing philotic theory with an artichoke, or starting ISADAG (International Society for the Abolishment of Discrimination Against Goats). What is your opinion on my foolishness? - Fish
i say go for it and i'll donate some socks towards the cause

Was George from Rainbow made of wafers? -Mystic Murray


Is George Bush just a stratigically shaved monkey? -Mystic Murray
i'm not sure... why insult the monkeys like that

is kissing a first cousin considered incest?
not that i'm aware of

is common sense a thing of the past?

what kind of vcr has the least amount of tracking problems?
a dvd player

why dont you awnser any of my questions anymore?- dane
i do damnit

My science teacher is insane. He tried to electrocute the whole class. He didn't charge the Leydon Jar enough, and only managed to knock half of us unconscious. He is planning a second attempt. Should I force-feed him Antimony to stop him? - Fish
hell no.. just encorage others to go to his class and skip it... then repeat... that will reduce the numbers a bit

My fire alarm has a "Warning: Radioactive" sticker on the back. Is this part of a secret conspiracy designed to sterilise us all, allowing the ants to take control of the world? - Fish
yes it is... rip it out and bash it with a hammer... it's a microphone

Was the song "I'm Blue" written when the band got high and watched the smurfs?
probably... i mean who hasn't done that?

Ist hier in der nahe von eine Haltestelle? Ich mochte einem Meerschweinschen und eine Bus nach Bonn bitte. - Der Fische
i have no idea what this says but the Der Fische made me laugh

Oh Dear Demon Child, why are dinosaurs huge scaly piles of lizard?
they are built that way... just one of those things

why are you not a sock cow?
i have NO idea... i will demand an answer of my mother next time i see her

I have misplaced my pants. Do you know where they are? McDiablo
no i haven't seen them... perhaps rory the lion knows... but he might be off getting a perm

Did the Easter Bunny come to your house and give you chocolate? McDiablo
no but my mother did... and yes i got chocolate... i don't like chocolate

Is winning for losers?
of course

Do you think I should change my colour scheme? - Mzebonga
i have no issues with the colors actually as they're insane... i think some of the graphics are needing improvement... the content is cool

How do you make a cute popular boy like you?
a WHAT? get out

Can geeks love people with all their heart?
sure, just because they're geeks doesn't mean they can't have emotions

Can you give me one good reason why I should buy one of your overpriced t-shirts or hats?--syko morgana
i can't... its one of those 'well if they REALLY want to then whatever but i wouldn't' sorta thing haha... we'll eventually make that whole 'selling' thing worthwhile... do you honestly expect us not to put it up there so some rich freak can send us money and get some shitty merchandise for it? we're insane... wait till we start auctioning off balloon animals on ebay...

how do you try to understand the african nun's(sister genevive) silly logic?
i don't really... it either makes sense or it doesn't

How cool is it that there's a poster with guitar chords on it? - Guitarded
um... cool

i started writing a cool melody and then realized that it was a line from Beauty and the Beast.. what the heck is up with that? - Guitarded
you sure are guitarded... there is no excuse for that sorta shit... you are BANNED from music

hey what's a cool name for an emo group? - Miss Roger's Sweater

Does Silent Bob really have jedi powers? cuz that was some freaky shit he did to get that video tape from between those metal bars... -Miss Roger's Sweater
yes he did... didn't you see????

I started chewing gum a couple weeks ago.. am i ready to move up to the "quit smoking" gum? and then move up to smoking in a couple more weeks? - Slur-peed One
i'd give it another week of the gum... then move a step up

What are rainbows made of? - The X
smoke and mirrors

How do you reccomend to sterailze someone? What is the BEST way? - The X
remove everything from the waist down... even the legs

If you had a box of toenails, a Q-tip (the cheap ones), a Good Question award to give away, a fully automatic weapon, and a smile, what would you to to make the world a better place? - The X
well i'd sure toss those toenails at someone to make their day special, go on a rampage through a few places with the qtips, then clean someones ears with the automatic weapon... i'd be smiling the whole time and i'd eat the good question award because assulting people with qtips makes me hungry

Have you ever ate something that you wish was dead? - The X
not that i was aware of

Why do people say heck instead of hell? Frankly, if you're going to say something, say it. Say "fuck" not "fudge" and say "vagina" not "furry front bottom" and have the good grace, if someone is a bit prudish about words to shout the word they are trying to use at the top of your voice so everyone can hear it. Afterall, these are just words, to quote the great bard: "What's in a name? That which is a rose wouldst smell as sweet". So say "fuck" and mean "fuck" don't say "fudge" and mean "fuck" because I like "fudge" (that's not to say I don't like fucking) but I'm getting tired of going into sweet stores and ordering "fudge" and the old lady behind the counter thinking I mean "fuck". Or did I say "fuck" and mean "fudge"? I can't remember. Anyhow, I would like to assert the fact that people should make their meaning clear and express that meaning with the appropriate words. Like women, they say "I hate you, I can't stand the way you drink your pint and that aftershave you use" and the mean "you're kinda nice and I like you. If you play your cards right after I've insulted you, you might get some". The world would be a lot simpler if we spoke plainly. I think you should be the one to assert this. [There are a couple of questions in there somewhere but I understand if you think this is less a question and more a rant] - Mzebonga
haha furry front bottom...

how and why do cockroaches turn onto their back when they die? - Watermelon
i'm not sure... i haven't heard of that before

What happens if your arm bursts? - Mystic Murray
well clean up the damn mess before it stains and then get a new arm

Every night I fall into unconscienceness for about eight hours. What is going on? - Mystic Murray
oh no... drink lots of coffee and make sure that doesn't happen... try caffeine pills.. ANYTHING to stop you from sleeping... don't let them get you...

Why does "Happy Hour" in most bars and clubs last for 3 hours? - Mystic Murray
it's harder to get happier these days... everyone and everything really sucks so you need three hours of steady drinking to begin approaching 'happy'

What is this strange growth in the middle of my face?
i don't know... get a saw and hack it off... see how much you can get for it on ebay

Was Mr T the world's first black man? - Mystic Murray
not technically

Did Pythagoras discover beards?
twice but due to that whole 'where did the sun go?' issue he forgot for awhile

Who was the first man to drink water?
that guy.. you know the one i'm talking about

What is the point of all this talk about putting a tax on Preperation H. I mean it is a nessary part of the medical field. It clears up a nagging problem and it also works wonders for baggy eyes. Why extra tax it. I mean it would be like extra taxing lube that is important as well. Nothing smoother then a lubbed up sock monkey--Mistofflies
a tax? damnit they tax everything... why don't they fuck off already... fire them all and get some competent people running the show... this is obviously not working

If you are a trader, and you have to cross a river on a boat that can carry you and one other item, how would you get across if you are carring a duck, a bag of corn, and a fox? Remember, you can't take the corn and leave the fox and duck behind cause the fox will eat the duck and vice versa with the duck and corn.
i'd take three trips or hide two items up my ass and smuggle them across

explain to me what girls want while i pleasure them sexually
how about you bring the girls to me and i'll show you?

Did you know that if you took the ume off of the word assume you would have the word ASS? hehehehehehehehehehehehhuhehehehe
you said ASS!

is lars ulrich gay
no... that would be an insult to gay people everywhere... he is a robot that is stuck in a yapping loop... nothing intelligent comes out of his mouth... just shit...

would you have sex with me?
ok but give me a few minutes to finish updating this

can you pop the boiler on my hairy ass
um... no

can i stick my dick in your sock monkey
um... no

how cum the sky is blue
something to do with water vapor and sunlight

why do i smell so bad
you don't wash... and you roll around with wet dogs

why do i eat my boogers
they taste good

im having a problem. my grandmothers poodle keeps wandering into my bedroom night after night and asks me if i will stick a spoon up her ass? I told her no but now shes harrassing me. Please help me before she sticks that spoon up MY ass!?!?!?
i'd lock your door at night... and tell your grandmother about the dog... if she doesn't stop it then i say move out... you deserve so much better then that..

k the only reason humans were put on this world, supposedly by God, was to mate and populate the earth, right? Not to do anything with there lives just to live, mate, and die. anyways heres my question if we were put here for that only why does "God" have the people that serve him the most (ie- nuns, priests etc) abstinate from sex? If we were put here only for that why don't these people? so theres my question.. can ya answer it?
well if you believe in god (which is a whole issue within itself) then you could argue that those who breed are focusing on raising the children and those such as nuns are focused on doing 'gods' work... so therefore they are sacrificing every other focus for 'god' while those breeding are still doing 'gods work' but in a different area... if you know what i mean...

Daphne got dressed up as Elton John. Are you as scared as I am? McDiablo
not really... i'm kinda turned on

lately i've been watching just the last 5 mins of the Noon News because that's when the funny newscasters banter.. is it wrong that i enjoy watching the banter more than the rest of the news? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... there is something horribly wrong with you... you're one of those freaks who like the damn radio banter too aren't you??? admit it! and when you submit a site to be linked to... you really should include the url

Do I have to dive into the question board? McDiablo

Can doing 1 inch "power" squats really help my knees get stronger? my Doc gave me a whole sheet of paper on the importance of power squats.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
a whole sheet? send me a copy... i don't have any sheets on that at all except for those i found about the kuntz brewery the other day

why do people chew on straw?
i haven't witnessed anyone doing this, but i guess it's better then them chewing on their fingernails

last week i had a slurpee every single day.. that's 7.. are you as amazed that i am still alive as i am? - Slur-peed One
only one a day? i'm not very impressed... now 7 an hour is impressive

I have to do a "performance jury" at school.. does this mean if i suck i'm going to have to go to jail? cuz i don't want to be some 50 year old woman's little bitch. - Guitarded
i would change your name, dye your hair a different color and pretend you never heard of any of it... just run away... and then buy me a lava lamp... becuase you will be sore as well as a 50 year old woman's little bitch

I have an alter ego who is actually Satan possessing my body and my voice changes and i use the word "fuck" a lot. That being said, do you think I should risk scaring my friends or just do away with my alter ego altogether? Vista
i say keep the whole 'split personaity' thing up... it comes in handy when you do something really nasty and instead of getting fucked up the ass by your cellmate, you get a needle shoved in your ass while you hug yourself in a padded room...

I once had a teacher who sneezed and coughed abnormally loud.. she thought this was normal. did i mention that one time she pretended to be an alien and asked us "what is poetry?" in her alien voice.. What do you think of all this? - Miss Roger's Sweater
sneezing loud is ok... it's those wussy fake sneezers you have to watch for... i think that teacher rocks...

Does LOL really mean Laugh Out Loud? Or does it mean what paranoid types think it means....Loser Online?? Vista
it could mean laugh out loud or it could mean nothing at all and humans have just made it stand for laugh out loud so that they can sleep better at night...

My mom is often mistaken for a little kid on the phone. Do you think she should raise her voice a little or just stop answering the phone? Vista
i think she should try using a megaphone... or speakerphone...

My math teacher wears a leather outfit at least once a week...and it's very disturbing...should teachers like her be allowed to wear leather, ya think?-Hunka Chunka
no... leather outfits are wrong for various reasons

"Ist hier in der nahe von eine Haltestelle? Ich mochte einem Meerschweinschen und eine Bus nach Bonn bitte" means: "Are we near the station? I would like a Guinea Pig and a Bus to Bonn, please". And Fische is a feminine noun so it should be "Die Fische". I did German A-Level, are you impressed? - Mzebonga
die fishe... haha

What do you mean my graphics suck? What's wrong with them? I'm probably changing the color scheme anyway. - Mzebonga
i never said they suck... some of them are just hard to read... its your site so you do it whatever way amuses/annoys you most... i reccomend blinking text to all web developers

Yeah, furry front bottom... What about it? -Mzebonga
i said SPANK ME... damnit you never listen

Are we drawing a line between Geeks and the Insane now? - Mzebonga
i was drawing a circle in my notepad actually... i'm not good at drawing geeks...

Would you consider yourself to be omniscient? - Mzebonga
most of the time yes... i just don't share it with anyone else

When are you going to issue the answers for last month's what ifs?
soon BITCH... damnit we update the questionairre, update the look and you're bitiching still? it's just never enough for you people...

I accidentally swallowed my foot. I regurgitated it as fast as possible, but it still got partially digested. It is now suing me for attempted murder. Should I silence it with a cyanide injection? - Fish
yes... and quickly before it tells the other foot... they may be working together

One of my friends tried to break my nose today when she said something really stupid and I replied, "Wow, do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on?". Was this the wrong thing to say? - Fish
maybe she knew someone with a medal that wasn't very nice... i can't see any other reason why she'd be upset... unless it was her time of the month? (yes i'm expecting to have my ass kicked by jcp for saying sexist shit like that so bring it on bitch!)

My friend had a BMW, and he left it parked in a parking lot. When he came back the BMW logo had been pried off and stolen. He parked the car in the same place 2 weeks later, and when he came back someone had stuck a Datsun logo back on his car with sticky tape. What the fuck is going on? - Fish
try parking there again and see what happens... that sorta stuff is the random insanity theory at work... so take notes and send them to me for my thesis

didn't you know Der Fische actually wanted a bus to Bonn (germany)? he also wanted a guinea pig, i think. geez......
i don't like guinea pigs

last week i had a huge fight with my girlfriend. then, she refused to speak to me. after a couple more days, she didn't even get out of bed. she started to smell. she dint move. i got so horny i had to force myself on her but she was ice cold. i remember reading your story about kate, is this the same thing? is my girlfriend actually dead?
yes... yes she is... and things do not look good for you my friend...

did you know your boots are mismatched
yes they are

you look like santa's elf. did you work there once? -Watermelon
no or i would make toys that harm children and their parents

why don't you quit trying to please everybody and work so hard at updating the site's layout and just go with whatever YOU feel like. for crying out loud. - Watermelon
damnit we are... we lied to you to try to make you people feel less like the losers and freaks you are... we like the new design or we wouldn't have put it online obviously

I've read every page of this website, what do I do now? My life no longer has meaning. Should I drink myself into a coma so that when I wake up years from now I'll have new things to see on the site? or will the cats have already taken over? If they have, will the site still be up so I can read it from my cell? or will The cats have mercy upon those who truly love them? Wait, I'm already a slave to the 2 cats that live here, but hey "Happiness in Slavery" (NIN) -Sparkle Pixie
read it all again to see if we've changed it at all... and only go into a coma for about 3 months... then check back and send us money... the cats will not disclose their schedule to me yet... and of course they will have mercy for those who truly love and serve them... and good job for putting the NIN reference

Is Kuwait the only country in the world pronounced "Kuwait"?
i'm not sure... so i'll got with no

Why do I hunger and crave human flesh? -Mystic Murray
could be anything really... go take a bite out of someone if you're that hungry... get them to say 'bite me' to you

Mr T. wasn't the world's first black man. It was Sidney Poitier - Mystic Murray
can this be proven?

If you ate some shit, would people believe you when you said "man that tastes like shit!" - Mystic Murray
i certainly would

Why are French Fries called French Fries? Because you can bugger me backwards if the French have chips like that. - Mystic Murray
it's just one of those stupid english names that make no real sense... that is the answer i'm going with

Do fish drink? - Mystic Murray
of course... thats where the expression 'drink like a fish' comes from

Does that mean they drink their own wee wee?
yes... water sports means they just play in it

Is that where the phrase "to get pissed" comes from? - Mystic Murray
that guy with the purple hat

Tell me the secret of fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or else I'll photocopy my rear and waste all your paper! - Mystic Murray
well the meaning of life is 42 (douglas adams rocks) and the purpose of it is to die

what are the lyrics to the baby balooga song or baluga however u spell it?
i don't know so shut the hell up about that stupid song

I am a juggalo. I've been a juggalo for years. I would just like to know if the sixth jokers card is gonna be everything I've dreamed. Or are they going to sell out? Cuz if they do, I will personally start a world wide riot!!
they are going to sell out... but you knew that already and just wanted to type the word juggalo

why does my ass have this giant pimple on it and it wont pop - orion
try using a sharp object like a toothpick

Why do we like apple jacks, when they dont taste like apple? is it because we're worth it too?
it's because products are pushed on us with lies and pretty pictures...

what is the average nipple size?
i'm not exactly sure so i should see way more of them so i can provide you with a better answer

I just can't get you outa my head. I don't understand it. i tried sooo hard to get you out. i laid in my bed and thought hard about everything I could, an ocean, a hot dog stand, even a dupster but a damn sock monkey always apeared. How do i get you outa my head?--Mistofflies
you don't... just give in

how much cock could a cocksuckr suck if a cocksucker could suck cock? - henry p.winkle
well i'd guess a whole lot of cock

Okay now i think some of those questions are laughable, but please exscuse my spelling for i am dyslexic, my question is this do you believe that cell phones are a governments way of tracking people Christina
yes... if they choose to... i mean you ARE emtting a signal everywhere you go

Today at school we hung a wheelie bin . . . we tied a noose to an overhanging branch and killed the bastard. Now the other wheelie bins are following me around . . . are they planning revenge? - Fish
yes they are... you have no hope of escape

My german class and I freaked out our teacher so bad she moved to Canada mid-week. If you see her, call her Big Red Ball. The name is adequate description. Please try to give her a nervous breakdown so she doesn't come back. She's a bitch. Will you help? - Fish
canada is pretty big but if i see her then i will

Are you a fan of Woody Allen or Spike Milligan? They are funny guys. - Fish
i think sometimes i am but some other times i'm not

Why the hell is there a scroll bar at the bottom of your menu page. I hate scroll pars that go left to right on webpages. I might have to kill you with an automatic rifle unless you change it. - Fergus O'dimbal
there is??? hmmmmmmmmm i blame society... that and jcp & i both have 1024 x 768 as our rez... so fine i'll change it for you people with stupid 800x600

Why is there a hole in macaroni noodles?
well it's kinda hard to quickly cook big hunks of pasta

I AM THE BOG GOBLIN!! In that I am the Goblin of the Bog. In a Peat Bog sense. Really, it's true. What do you think to that? - Mzebonga
i think good for you... embrace your Bogness

Do you laugh when i say G-string? even though i'm talking about my guitar.. -Guitarded
i don't... maybe when i'm old and lonely you can come over and say gstring to get me going though

Today in my history class half the class skipped to play in a street hockey game.. my teacher was asking why those people decided to schedule their game during her class.. i think she's really naive and doesn't realize her class is boring as heck.. is it right of me to laugh at her stupidity? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes it is... laugh loudly... march up to her and make sure she hears you... then draw pictures of her looking stunned or crying on the blackboard

My family is shocked that i now chew gum.. it's not like i'm smoking crack or anything.. what should i do? -Miss Roger's Sweater
chew it louder... blow bubbles... leave it in their hair while they sleep... they'll get used to it or pay you to move out

why does "Cheese smells so good On a burnt piece of lamb"? - Guitarded
i have to disagree... but i'll take the cheese

I bought cool green cords for 6 bucks.. how cool is that? -Slur-peed One
i am truly impressed...

why don't you answer my questions? do you have something against me? - Odalisque
i answer your questions... maybe you should start typing them in instead of staring at the screen and thinking of them really hard... it works much better

why is Sally such a mutherfuckin bitch? she's such a freaking cunt, when i want to pay the fees for this month she has to give me her bithcy face and tell me it's past the due date. What the fuck does she know, she's just a stupid secretary/collector of fees!! - SiNiSTaR
woah... such hostility... those who collect money are generally trained to be nasty fuckers who only care about their paperwork and screwing you over...

why do guys rape camels sometimes? can't they find themselves a woman? - SiNiSTaR
are you saying they should stick to raping women?

have you ever been to hell? - SiNiSTaR
i live in it everyday...

who is Wang Chung? -SiNiSTaR
i'm not sure... i think it has somehting to do with emptying your locker at the end of the year

did you ever meet Fu Manchu (not the band) - SiNiSTaR
not that i'm aware of

since you've updated your look, i can't find half the stuff i'm looking for anymore!!! where's Ask SAnimal??
haha gee i guess i accidently forgot to put it there... i wouldn't do that sorta thing on purpose... never! sadly enough jcp noticed too and added it back in

I know this person.. she is like a stalker... well not really but everyone thinks she is cuz she has liked this guy for the past 6 years is taht really a bad thing?? - dipstick
i knew a girl who sucked off a guy... got cum on her shirt... then went home and put that shirt in a ziploc bag... she kept it for about 4 or 5 years... she would occasionaly open it up and make sure the cum was still wet... and taste to see if it still tasted the same...

i try to kill my Sims but i always get a voice from my conscience and then i feel guilty. These are people. people i created and made successful with their pianos, their bed, their swimming pools...but the thing is i really want to kill them...can you help me overcome my guilt so that the bloodbath may begin? - SiNiSTaR
when you feel these thoughts of 'guilt' pinch yourself until you don't feel so bad anymore... remember... you can always format your harddrive and no one will EVER know what you did to them

Should I go to bed now? McDiablo

I tried to break the world cracker eating record this morning, by eating 3 dry crackers in 1minute 40 seconds. I was too slow, but now I'm sure I can hear malicious mutterings and what sounds like a knife being sharpened from inside the packet. Are they plotting to circumcise me? What should I do? Mystic Murray
well... yes they are... but that's the least of your worries if you can believe it

My modem keeps dressing up as a woman and shouting, "Well hello therebog boy!" Should I slap it about a bit, and tell it to stop, or put it next to the dirty dishes in the kitchen and see what happens? Mystic Murray
i say you paint it black and name it 'Elise'... you'll be happy with the results

If you were wearing a banana suit, covered in the creamy bits from inside oreos, jumping about and shouting "Bugger me with a fishfork, Mr Toasterly-Whittingham, for I have the Holy Chalice, the elexir of vagueness is mine", and then you went to Paris and fell in the river. Would you be in-seine? Mysic Murray
no so much insane as having a lot of time... besides why would i do that when i can just take off, change my name, eat books and wear a purple cape with a large F on it... put some wheels on my couch and go for a spin to spain... damn carrier monkeys... they'll never find me then

I am trying to cook some sausages in the oven. Should I have gassed them first? Or is that too good a death for the red, crinkly bastards? Mystic Murray
sausages are sickening... thats all i have to say

Is there such thing as a beef chop? Mystic Murray

After consulting my sources carefully, I have found out that the world's first black man was not Mr T or Sidney Poitier. It was Bill Cosby. Mystic Murray
your 'sources' are your grandma and that thing you found under your couch...

Eh? Have you seen it Eh? Eh? Where's me washboard? Eh? Have you seen it? How queer, I said how queer! Ho ho! I said I've seen you wrapping presents when it's nobody's birthday! Eh? Eh? How Queer. Where's me washboard? Mystic Murray
i think it's in the bin

Apparently, if you say, "I don't believe in faries" one will drop down dead. Does the same apply for World Leaders? Mystic Murray
let try it... i don't believe in world leaders... i don't believe in stupid people... i don't believe in old people who drive badly... i don't believe in sanimal...

Is the monkey at the top, next to banner jerking off? Mystic Murray
of course

Heh heh heh I was wondering how long it would take someone to get that german thing I posted . . . how about this one: "Guten Tag, Ich mochte eine weiswurst mit sahne, und zwei grun karroten bitte" I probably fucked up the tenses, but that's because I spent every German lesson gnawing on the table leg . . . i may not have learnt much but it stopped my teeth growing so long that they punctured my brain. - Fish
oh enough with the damn secret messages in another language...

Greetings and Salutations thine eloquent and peripatetic sock monkey of much ignoble foolishness . . . dost thou indeed perform such hedonistic rights in with thine idiosyncratic and obsequious companion, the frog that thou dost call "Kermit"?
kermit loves it up the ass... just look at his face... he's loving it... LOVING it

If you have a green ball in your left hand, and a green ball in your right hand, what have you got? *whispers* (the answer is Kermit the Frog's undivided attention) - Fish
sometimes you just have to squeeze as hard as you can

They tore the house down across the street! Should I get out there and start to rebuild it? McDiablo
damn striaght!!! it's up to YOU now

I was trying to get into my email this morning and it said the server was busy. Should I kick my computer in the nuts? McDiablo
go kick the person in charge of the servers in the nuts

What are we doing since our birth? We're learning, getting wise, getting stupid, forgetting and most of all, growing older and older! So what the fuck are we living for? (Omuletzu)
so we can get the whole thing over with! send me your money...

Can people with a nut allergy give blow jobs? Mystic Murray
only if there isn't a label that says 'this product may contain nuts'

aparently, mac donalds milk shakes are made from potatoes. so what are the fries made from?
ground up dead children and trees

do you want sweetcorn with that?
not right now

Why the hell do Americans call Canada "CanaDUH"? Is it supposed to insult us or something?-Whistlerdust
they just don't know how to pronnounce things

Do you believe in "Euthanasia"?
if i say i do then it won't exist? is this another trick question?

In answer to Mystic Murray's question, yes I do drink. Copiously. And have you ever been to Australia? - Fish
i have never been there but you should pay me to go there for a month or four

what is cunt
i'm not telling

What is the easiest way to acheive automatic satisfaction while sitting back and relaxig?-Whistlerdust
breathing usually works... just lay there and breathe...

So if you find chocolates in the toilets I hope you don't eat those chocolates?
i'm not telling

Sorry no one is home right now so leave a message and I'll get back to you?
um... no

Do you prefer curly or straight hair? Blue or yellow hair? Blonde or black hair? Streaked or foiled hair? Short or long hair? Girls or guys hair? Up or down hair? Fantasy or boring hair?
straight, blue, black, neither, long, girls, down, what the hell is fantasy hair?

describe a hemmoriod
well the ones i know are rude and hot tempered

Girls like me just don't fall out of the sky, you know? McDiablo
they don't? damn!

Smoochie boochie noochies??? Jay

Why do the villains in a James Bond movie always reveal their plans before killing him? McDiablo
they aren't as smart as real evil people... plus its to explain the plot to those who were distracted by the tits

Snakes....why did it have to be snakes? Indiana Jones
well the lambs weren't as scary as originally thought

Is there really a tree that can grab people and kill them like in Harry Potter.. cuz I was reading that last night and I ain't no little kid but that is scary.. so is there really a tree like that? - dipstick
yes there is... there is a whole forest of them actually

"Guten Tag, Ich mochte eine weiswurst mit sahne, und zwei grun karroten bitte" means "Good day, I would like a white sausage with cream and two green carrots please". That is what that means. It's hardly challenging. Should I charge for my translations? - Mzebonga
no you shouldn't... in fact you should stop all together...

Is DC a male or female?
i'm not sure.. i'll go ask

Is it really all in the hips? Vista
that and the original sketches

Why do buses have a sign on the door saying "Please do not attempt to enter bus when doors are closed"? - Fish
there are so many stupid people out there that signs like that are a neccessity

Why are you wearing little pointy shoes on the page with all the newest questions? McDiablo
why shouldn't i be? you're just jealous

why are you gay?why is everybody gay but not sanimal why is he better than you??ohh and nirvana rules(from a sophmore from rio grande city)
you obviously aren't well... so i'll just smile and nod at you so you go away

what is naive???-THE RIO GRANDE CITY PIMP-
i think it's that place where the guy wears the hat that looks like ears and they sing a lot

do you guys use messenger or chat what r your fav websites?fav bands?your not the guy who likes faith right? "THE RIO GRANDE CITY pimP
we use icq actually... mzebongas site is cool and so is GFY... faith no more/mrbungle

why is your dick so small? THE RIO GRANDE CITY pimP
well to be honest i don't find you that attractive...

why is grass green? LMAO no heres the question whats a question?
um... solar power... that is the answer to both

Why is it that everyone wants to know where Waldo is...? I mean, I know that he lives in my closet with Elvis, a magical leprachaun named Victor, and some kid named Matt. Waldo used to live in Matt's head, but then he started making Matt stop setting fires on random electronic things. But the point is that Tom Delonge is hot. So why do penguins insist on drugging my tea and forcing me to do dances on a lace covered table top?
its all for waldo's amusement... EVERYTHING

Fish seems to enjoy giving german lessons :) ... "Guten Tag, Ich mochte eine weiswurst mit sahne, und zwei grun karroten bitte" "Good day, i want a white sausage(?) with cream and two green carrots, please.." is wurst supposed to be a masculine or feminine? i thought it would be ein, but i don't you know, DC? - SiNiSTaR
no more no more no more

i didn't mean that men should rape women, i meant...why animals? what the hell did they do to deserve being fucked by another (fat and ugly) species??? - SiNiSTaR
they didn't do anything to deserve that.. i say we beat those people

"relax, they'll do it, when you wanna go to it"...ok? - SiNiSTaR

what does it mean if you dream about flying? - SiNiSTaR
it means that you have dreamt about flying... enjoy the dream and fly around

i miss dolpha, is there something wrong with me? - SiNiSTaR
yes there is something wrong with you... but that has nothing to do with dolpha

ok..the short story/poem titled 'Hanz' is disturbing...what the hell is it about? - Watermelon
its about hanz... and his unfortunate relationship with two young girls

i have a friend who is unhealthily obsessed with Counter Strike. he spends all his spare time playing it. how can we tear him away from that evil game and his infernal machine? oh, he also likes little girls - but thats besides the point... *PooMole*
smash it... smash it all... smash him with the smashed stuff

How much does a fudge tunnel actually cost in the Peachtree? *cocoshunter*
um that i don't know... i do know that lava lamps are about 70 bucks

Why is winning for losers? (I'm stupid, I forgot to ask the 1st time.) (Omuletzu)
i blame society and pennies

Would you give yourself to the white wolf?--Mistofflies
not at the moment... but maybe later

Is the cookie stand part of the food court? TS
no.. it is independent... brodie obviously explains it better

I tried sneezing with my eyes open and, just like people say, they popped out. How can I put them back in? McDiablo
of course you can... haven't you seen cartoons???

My family was cleaning out the basement today.. and we put a bunch of our junk by the curb for "clean up week" and we ended up filling up our curb.. what do think about that? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i think good for you... you people are really on a cleaning kick aren't you

is it ok to pay for a 95 cent slurpee with interac? - Slur-peed One
i'm sure it's ok... just not that smart if you pay for each transaction

ok another one.. is it bad to pay for a 95 cent slurpee with interac.. and have your card declined..? - Slur-peed One
that's not bad... it's SAD

is it a bad sign if you clean all day and end up coughing dust out of your mouth? - Miss Roger's Sweater
when you shit out dust bunnies... that's when you should start to worry

When i move out of my family's house i plan on living in a shopping cart.. do you recommend i get a split level home (the kind with the upper bin thingy and the lower bigger bin thingy) or should i get one with just the regular bin thingy? - Guitarded
well if you can find a working two storey then go for it... maybe rent out a room... if not then get a sturdy regular

If a dog that has three legs gets in a fight with a couch... why is the sky green?
it's the dirt road behind the dog

Are you giggly? Vista

does DC smoke pot
are you offering or teasing?

Why on earth would a person name their mirror "Erised"? And furthermore, why would someone name their mirror?
you mean you DON'T?

OMG ok so do u remember how we always talked about steve an beka and how we wanted them to break up...well they did! and on a tuesday too...just like you said..thanx beka fat?
not really... and i have to admit that i'm not interested in thinking about beka again

If God Is So Powerful Then Could He Create a Rock That He Can Not Lift? If So Why Can't He Lift It? "If He Is So Mighty"? ~WARLOCK~
and exactly why is 'he' out there making rocks to throw around anyways? i mean damnit look at these stupid humans and 'he's' out there trying to throw fucking ROCKS?

I think everyone should embrace my bogness, don't you? - Mzebonga
absolutely.. i'm going to go out and get you a bog greeting card to mark the occassion

If you're demon child and all demons work for the devil, does your Daddy work for Leonardo Di Caprio? - Mzebonga
yes he does

What would you say if my nuts where not your chin? ~WARLOCK~
i'd say 'i'm glad your nuts are not on my chin'

why is my dog depressed
you've been feeding him shitty treats

Why is Santa Claus fat? Does he eat the bad kids or something? R Dire
yes he does

How much would it take for you to sell your soul? R Dire
make me an offer and we'll go from there... i doubt you'll ever have enough though

what does 'i heart you' mean? i see a lot of greeting cards like that...-SiNiSTaR
i don't know but it doesn't involve me getting any money so i'm not that intrested in finding out

Do you think that if a teacher buys the class naniamo bars for the last class of the semester.. does that make up for the hell they've had to go through all semester? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it doesn't make any difference at all... throw those bars at the teacher to show your disgust at his/her attempt to buy your affection so late... and for so little

I have a sock puppet named Edna would you like to meet her sometime? she's single and looking.. - Miss Roger's Sweater..
yes... yes i would

My tape player in my car isn't working and it sucks.. what should i do? - Guitarded
try lighting it on fire

Is there a rehab center like Betty Ford for Slurpee drinkers? - Slur-peed One
i'm not sure... if not then start one

Do you like vanilla or chocolate Girl Guide cookies? McDiablo
well i don't really LIKE either... but i'd take the vanilla before the chocolate

Don't you get sick of racking your brain thinking of clever answers to all of these strange questions? McDiablo
you really think some of my answer are clever? i had given up on trying to come up with clever answers awhile ago...

Is it wrong that i sometimes talk to me guitar? it's not like we have deep conversations about our love lives.. i just tell it sorry when i accidental hit it on something - Guitarded
no thats not wrong at all.. making reservations for two at a resturant, dressing it up, taking it out for dinner and dancing... now THAT would be strange...

Was Affleck really "da bomb" in phantoms? Brodie
i haven't seen that movie actually... didn't look too appealing

since when did this become a haven for teenyboppers declaring their love for some fuckwits? - Watermelon
i'm not sure... i thought i had made the <insert stupid boy band band name here> fanclub site seperate from this one...

a structure stores items of the same data type in a what?
a bin out back clearly labeled with a properly formatted bar code and printed label... is such data is deemed 'hazardous' then the appropriate WHMIS labels will be attached to the bin

what does "malloc(int sizeof(struct NodePointer))" mean? is that even correct??
you've gone mad... reboot

why are your tshirts so boring? - SiNiSTaR
well to be honest we just tossed that graphic up... we'll be making a real attempt soon as something cool

I am a friend of Miss Roger's Sweater's, and I was wondering what you liked best about her website BESIDES the room cleaning pictures? McDiablo
i'm not telling you... that information is for my little green book labled 'my little green book of secrets'

Why do people leave their Christmas lights on until April? Vista
they're lazy

where's the 'how to throw bread at ducks' list?
haha jcp forgot.... it's under insane articles now...

If you jog backwards do you gain weight?
i'm not sure... try it and let me know

Weiswurst is a neutral therefore it is "das Weiswurst". That's all. I'm done. Happy now? - Mzebonga
happy that you're done yea

DC....what do you think of lesbians?????? *S*
i think that they should tell me up front so i don't hit on them and gross them out

SAnimal isn't very nice to us yet people still send him questions why? Your so much better.
exactly... he doesn't answer them for months... bastard

Why do psychics never win the lottery? And if they're so successful, how come they can only be found in cheapo black and white ads on the backs of lousy women's magazines?
well psychics aren't in it for the money... that's why they charge a low hourly rate

If quitters never win and winners never quit, should you still quit while you're ahead?
if you don't try then there is nothing to quit... so just don't start anything

If nothing sticks to teflon how do they make teflon stick to the pan?
magic and fairy dust

all those people speaking german can lichten mein asch. dont you agree? - Fido Dido

Gomez. Gomez on toast. Gomez and marmite. Gomez in the morning. and, yea, Gomez on cd. dont eat that, jimmy. out the back door and into the road? - Fido Dido
into the road, down the river and through a tree

who let that damn frog out? - Fido Dido
not i... you have no proof

god im a dumbass that deserves to such a loser too... sanimal is right..he is so cool i wish i could be just like him...ohhh sanimal if only i could tell u how i feel.... ,DC
nice try

how long till running rampant arrives? i am eargly awaiting it. - Fido Dido
well it's the whole 'forms' shit.. since jcp has started a new company she's been too busy to make them... we're working on it... !!!!!!!! and yes we're working on the what if results so it will be up in a day or two

what do angelia jolie thinks about life?
i think maybe you should ask her....

Where is planet Krisme?
i don't really remember the exact location but it's near that red planet with the specks

What is your favourite Blizzard flavour at Dairy Queen? Or your favourite Tim Horton's donut? *hopes that you're not a diabetic.....* McDiablo
um oreo... and donuts are made in animal fat so i don't eat them... when i did i liked boston cream or honey dipped

The Canucks won an important game! (insert shocked face here)....are you happy?
i'd be happy if someone sent me money every week so i wouldn't have to do any crappy work for anyone else... just work on this site

What do you think of when you read this screen name...Johnny Big Penis? Vista
i think of johnny poptart

Tweakers suck... agree? R Dire
people who flick at your ears suck... that hurts damnit

I beerbonged 151... Should I be dead? R Dire
you should be sending me money so i can afford to buy a flame-thrower

Who is your daddy, and what does he do?-Swanky
i'm not exactly sure... i think he's a space-monkey

Do you like the Hokie Pokie? Have you ever danced to it before? I did it 5 times in a row today! Fun.-Whistlerdust
i didn't like it at all... yes i did... it sucked

I think I can, I think I can... I thought I could? R Dire
you thought you could but you thought wrong and then you thought you were wrong and then you were right

Why in the fuck do these people come to YOUR website, call you names like cocksucker, and small dick or whatever and you answer those questions? haha, those people are fucked up. anyway im bitching on your behalf. damnit. - The X
i answer because they are technically meeting my rules... if just its just bullshit then i delete them... and yea... beat the fuckers up so i don't have to go to jail for doing it

Should we arm the homeless? i think if we do, there would solve most problems... think about it... if the homeless had guns, they could kill off other assholes because they claim to "not have anything to live for" so that would let the dead and disease wipe eachother out. next, there would be less begging. more robberies but that helps the economy buy making the police earn their pay with the increase of homicides, robberies, and other fun activities that you can do with a gun. what do you think? - The X
i think it sounds like a good plan..

How would you get from one side of the town you live in to the other side if you had a block of cheese, a bottle of Bacardi 151, and an Oklahoma University flag? - The X
hell i'd party right where i was... forget going across town

Will ANYONE ever understand women? R Dire
sure... it must have happened a few times by now

Rabid squirrells are invading my house, I think cuting down their rainforest sanctuary was a bad idea... What should I do? R Dire
give yourself up... there is no hope

Are moles blind? Or are they just taking the piss? Mystic Murray
i don't know... and um sure that's what they're doing

Did you write the book of love? And do you have faith in God above, if the bible tells you so? Do you believe in Rock n Roll? Can Music save your mortal soul? And can you teach me how to dance reeeeeal slow? - Mzebonga
no i didn't actually... no i don't actually... absolutely... perhaps and damn straight i can

Do you know the muffin man?
i've been asked this before...

F***, Sh**, GODAM***...don't you hate it when you bite you lip more than once,..IN THE SAME SPOT??
haha damn teeth

My eyes are sore from being tired...should I put some vinegar in them? Vista

I you could spend 100 dollars in walmart what would you buy?--Mistofflies
a n64... how much are they again?

What is the ultimate equation in quantum physics?
to be or not to be?

um....why do chinese people decorate with american santas? why isn't there a chinese santa?
anyone can celebrate any holiday they want... i celebrate 'death to everyone day'

did u see...."tom greens subway monkey hour" that was the shit...i hope u saw it.....if so did you like it? if not do u intend on watching it? do u even like tom green? what about andy dick? is he gay? i think they're both hilarious...
no i didn't... i did see 'freddy got fingered'... i like freddie got fingered... i didn't know it was out there so i'll try to find it and watch it... tom green is funny... so is what i've seen of andy dick... i don't know and yes they are a good band?yes or no?u r u should know what i mean..if u do not I do not like u oh and i heard that sanimal loves u...did u know that?or are u guys having some secret affair?if u r i support u! (Theres a couple questions 4 ya enjoy!) -DC
olp? never heard of them... i know sanimal loves me but i return his gifts unopened for fear of them being bombs

id like to ask 4 advice...could i?
well let me first set up a way for you to send me questions and have me answer them online

how big is a chinese keyboard?..cus im thinkin biggg
i don't know actually

sterilize...heheheh....u such a wannabe dc ur never gonna be wierd as brad how....face it man u just a sucker...all u gonna do is suck all ur life.oh and question...why do u suck...r u some wannabe vacum to?...sad
as brad? damnit... i'm weirder then him... the rest is just gibberish so i can't reply

MY not appericiate if u did not answer....are u a pheniset? -double

is the virgin mary's last name christ?

do you like the taste of food over the feeling of being full?

Why does Canada suck, and how?
there are humans living in canada...

If my lover, who happens to be a turtle, asks me if his new shell makes her look fat... what sex is my lover?
take your finger and find out... thats the only way

Why do those horrible Woody Allen movies keep winning awards and for God's sakes why does Janet Reno's manly voice make her so hot?
i don't know... and i have no idea what she sounds like...

Do you ever bend over just so you can observe your own butt, only to discover what a great ass you have?
not yet... but one day i'll discover that... until then it's just bitter disappointment

Do you ever pick the toe jam out of your feet with your tongue and then use the leftovers to condition your hair?
no... but that might save me some money if i do that

Have you ever awakened to the sound of dripping only to later learn that it was you peeing down your leg?
i think so... but i might have been dreaming

she's free, she got a mind and a will of her own...?
ok fine that's just great but when does she send me money

why is sanimal so in-love with himself?....cus i think he is lieing cus hes ashamed that he is really are a big faggety loser.So he says he has a girlfriend and all that other shit but he dont and he just says it to sound cool...but its really not..cus its not cool when people do that its, really pathetic...~HopsgotCaught~dont u agree wit me?
i don't know he just sucks ass...

when was the last time u updated this thing?
just now

is it possible to get an S.T.D. by having oral se??
um... that i don't know... ?

I have a pair of socks with "Fido Dido" on them . . . How the fuck did Fido Dido infect my socks?? - Fish
what are you talking about? you've obviously stolen fido's socks and in deep denial... just give them back

so, just what music do you listen to? - the lunchbox
lots of different stuff... although i'm needing more lately... lately i've been introduced to portishead, moby, and the early manson albums... lovage is now in regular rotation, along with nin

do you ever pull pranks on people, and if so, what's your most prized prank to pull? - the lunchbox
no not really... that requires effort on my part and i just can't bring myself to do it

DC, Are you French Canadian? What is your opinion on French Canadians?--InsaneLane
no i'm not... and i've met some rude french canadians and some nice ones... i guess they're like all the other humans... they just don't talk right

DC, I am planning to start my Anti-Humanity campaign. Should I start it off with the nucleur-killer-grass-hybreds or should I start it with the Polish Sardine Can ozone eater?--InsaneLane
i say do both... it may cost a bit more but it's worth it

What is more powerful than God, more evil than satan, poor men have it and rich people need it?oh and also.... Name a food item that you first take off the outside then cook the inside and after its cooked you eat the outside and cook the inside?-GrundleTea
the love of cock? what???! um... corn? i don't know... it's late and i'm tired

What does it mean when you're tummy is rumbling? McDiablo
i encountered that the other day and found out that you have to consume food so the body vessel continues to function... once you ingest this food then the rumbling stops... apparently you have to do this a few times a day

DC, Why is it that almost everytime I come and ask a question, it is right when you are answering so I get the annoyance of getting my hopes up when I see that they are updated the next time I'm on? Is it me, am I the Problem? Oh, Also, I think you should sell Autographed Sock Monkey Porn to all of us. How much would you charge?--InsaneLane
yes you are the problem but it's ok... and maybe i will... i'll charge 5 bucks a picture to cover my time and sending it to you... how many would you like? buy 4 and get the 5th free

When will I be blessed by Qbryzan Speaking again? He speaks to my Heart.--Insanelane
i'm not sure... i think he might have gone to another planet for awhile... he does that sometimes

My Heart enjoys being spoken to, does yours DC?--Insanelane
well i speak to the whole body in general... i figure if start specifically talking to my heart that i may screw it up and i need it to keep working for awhile without pain

I'm addicted to writing witty comments on the Vans Warped Tour message board....what are you addicted to? McDiablo
coffee... the color black... insanity...

Do computers have nuts to kick when you are frustrated with it? McDiablo
no but damnit they SHOULD

what type of computer do u have?
well its dual 500... but i'm hoping to upgrade that shortly... 512ram... 100gb which is down to 1.2 left so i need more... 16xdvd and 12x8x32 burner (for now)

i have no question...but im just really bored and sick. So thats my question..even though its not the definition of feelin i ask that.If u dont understand What i mean ur stupid!!!
i say two thumbs down

hey its kelly whats up?
the oppisite of down

yo...i have a sockmonk to, he is a pretty sweet monkey oh and brad way way way better than u..ur just some guy that writes stupid and waked out things and i bet ever joke u do had to be thought up in a hour..but brad has the style the eyebrows and the quickness and the tv show and the vocabulary!what do u have a pic of a sockmonkey and a keyboard!u cant even compare to that man...that man is a god..ur not even good enough to speak of him. Im not even good enough to speak of him!....and were did u get ur sockmonkey?
damnit it's always 'brad, brad, brad'... well damnit i am just as wonderful... and my tail is way better

omg thank u dc! u just answered everone of my questions...i thought it had to be some wicked aSSed questions but u answered mine...ur like the sweetest person alive....u r the most nicest person ever ur actually the first person ever to be nice to me I LOvE YoU!!!~!!!!!!~!!!!!!~!!!!!!~!!!!!!~!!!!!!!...r u single? ugly?gay?straight?american?monkey?married?pretty?smart?dumb?
you love me? damn i rock... yes i am, depends who you ask, don't think so, fairly, no i'm canadian, pure sock monkey baby, no, of course, absolutely and sometimes

Do you like my Tartan Slippers? - Mzebonga
yes... they're nice... may i pet them?

what happens when a car is repossed by the bank to the idividual that owns the car
well i guess that car is going to need a car wash

why has fish got my socks? please tell to give them back or i will kill/maim/sexually molest him/her/it/gorilla. this might explain where my socks go when i put them into the washing machine/interdimensional teleporter/hades. do everyones socks goto fish, or just mine? what would happen if you were to climb into the afore-mentioned device, and be washed/teleported/consumed by the infernal flames? would you also goto fish, or just the sock part? would you then become merely a monkey? i suggest we test this hypothesis by putting a condemned sockmonkey into the afore-mentioned device, and seeing what happens. when is the soonest we can do this? do you have any sponsers willing to cover this monumental event, and broadcast it live to the world/dimension X/hades? your support is most appreciated. yours-with-cold-feet-ly - Fido Dido
i say we do this now... and i'll bet that just the socks go to fish... while other parts go elsewhere... what i'd like to know is what i'm getting out of this?

Do you think it is stylish to wear socks on your arms? McDiablo

Where you oh oh oh ohohoh hanging tuff in the early 90's?--Mistofflies
i have no idea what you're talking about

DC will you have hot hard core monkey sex with me, if i pay you great amounts of money??

jack and jill ate tons of pills is that okay or should we hurt them?--syko morgana
well... ok let's hurt them

did the dog fly up on my lap or was that the jew?--syko morgana
it was the dog

did I touch his wee wee or did erika gnaw on his knee?
that was his wee wee... next time don't lick it for free

did fred wait for hika at the clock?
at least try to have it make SOME sort of sense

did u eat my chicken or did i?
it wasn't me... i don't eat chicken

why did erika put the mexican on the peppers?
for the hell of it

is there any such thing as steak people?
yes... we're all steak people to the wolves

did the snowflake swell or was that the rat peanuts and unicorn paste?
well i don't want to just blame the unicorn paste but i'm pretty sure that it's to blame

what is monster cheese?
cheese made from the milk of monsters

where is the bathroom?
down the hall to the right

why does she like that song?
well she's crazy like that

why is erikas name monkey?
well it has to do those monkey noises she makes while fucking

why is there bread on top of my fridge? who put it there? Is it alright if I ask two questions? No, wait, now thats 3, Are you going to get mad at me? Please say you won't, ok? There is a total of 4 questions, or I mean 5. I think. Can you tell me how many questions there are? What is a peanut?
you put it there to 'air out'... not mad... um... you've asked a few questions... a peanut is that thing that the guy threw at me the other day

Why is Bob's last name Shrimpf? What is the purpose of the F?
to mess with your mind and steal your rugs

what is the average age a male goes through pueberty?
13... ?

what country do you live in?
let me check... canada

do you get aroused when i say "pink cookie" ? do you like to nibble on pink cookies?
no... but now that you've said 'nibble' i'm rethinking the whole thing

do you mind if i smoke? what do you smoke?
sure... but take it outside... unless you smoke what i smoke

The green straws are back at 7eleven how cool is that? - Slur-peed Kid
that is cool

Have you ever taken two slurpee straws and ate your slurpee like you're eating Chinese food? - Slur-peed Kid
no i haven't... but next time i'll be sure to try that

Do potatoes have bums? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... yes they do.. you just have to know how to find them

My brother's girl friend says i play guitar good, does that count for anything? - Guitarded
well not really... ask someone else

Is it weird that now when i want to clean my room i just have to pick up all my dirty clothes off the floor? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i haven't even thought of trying that... hmmmmmm

I had a question but i forgot it.. do you know what it was? - Guitarded
it was 'can i sell everything but my guitar and send all the money to you?' and my answer is yes... yes you can

I seriously think i spend more time with my guitar than with actual humans.. is this wrong? - Guitarded
no.. humans are annoying and stupid

How bad is it when you get up at 6am to write a test and the first thing you do instead of get ready to write the test is go on line to see if anyone is on? and the fact being who the hell is up at 6am to be on line to talk to you when you have to write a test???? ~ Jeepy i needy
hey.. you never who else is on... maybe it's 6pm to someone else on the planet... they might be on

Why can't I eat anything?
you won't shut the fuck up...

Why does everybody bother me about stupid crap? does stupid crap actualy have a purpose, and if its so stupid and crappy....why must they bother me about it? ASHY
they want to fill up your time with shit so you don't realize you're pissing your life away

Whats the average penis size
i don't know... i'll say 7 inches? if you're really that interested... start measuring volunteers

What should I do if I have to go pee but all of our toilets are broken? McDiablo
go outside and piss... take some toilet paper if you're a chick

Are you afraid of the shit demon? Like the one from "Dogma"? Vista
well having a shit demon would suck... so yes i'd be afraid

How far can shallow take you? McDiablo
kinda far... but not really

can i trouble you for a warm glass of milk? it helps put me to sleep. - SiNiSTaR
no i never have milk

you can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up. now you will go to sleep, or i will put you to sleep. - SiNiSTaR
this isn't a question... i hope you choke on your milk

why is there a black dog sitting at my gate? i can't come out now because of him. oh wait, it's a bitch, i see it's tits..-SiNiSTaR
well she has plans for you... i can't say any more

is it bad to get addicted to forums... i think one of my friends is and i don't know what to do.. although she has gone really werid and is listening to metal.. what should i do?? ~ jeepy i needy
there is nothing wrong with metal... i think you should find your friend in the forum and see what she's posting... maybe it's a fun addiction...

is it true that if you wet your bed a rainbow will follow you around?
i've tried that and it's never worked

where is the highway to hell?
it's whatever road i'm on... forever into hell

my good sir, why is it that skeletor can't kill a guy with big muscles, blond hair, and a pet cat? what's up with that? love from fish.
i blame the contaminated water and the table levels

I want eat you, sexy sock monkey. What are you going to do? - Flabba the Slut
i will be eaten

Watcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs rampant on you? - Mzebonga
well... i guess i'll have to kick some ass

Do you know why ethnic nationalism is incompatible with the EU? Do you know why I have to write an essay about it? - Mzebonga
no i don't... i've never had to write an essay about that...

Why does it always cost more the second time? - Mzebonga
they lure you in with a low price then jack up the price when you come back

where do the monkies go when the clock strikes?
they go nowhere... they just dance

why don't you feel headaches or other aches and pains while you are sleeping?
well you still have the pain you don't feel it cuz your brain is shut off from your senses... i dream pain though and it sucks...

what can i give my dad for a birthday present his birthday is this friday?
some candles and some pretty slippers

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