I am sockmonkey_bobo
how tall are you?
i'm about THIS tall... yea... like that
How come on the questionnaire
results my name got cut off so it says FartMonk? I couldn't have
spelled it wrong three times..What's up with that? FartMonk(ey)
i don't know WHAT you're talking about <looks away>
Wow! I got 4 Read
heads, 2 for the what ifs and 2 for the questionaires for the
August month alone... has anyone got red heads for all their what
ifs and questionaires in one month alone? Plus... when are you
guys going to organise a flash mob for theinsanedomain? - DZ
i think they have and we're leaving the flash mob organization
what's the first
thing you'll gonna do if you have a new toilet bowl? leigh
hook it up properly...
my sister's pregnant
and we're all happy but everytime she comes to the house and have
her morning sickness there it sucks....questions is, how come
morning sickness lasts till the afternoon? leigh
damn... that's sick to come here and talk about some pregnant
How come you never
explain to people that it's $15CA and not $15US because that's
like £3 in Britain for 3 months or something ridiculous? You ought
to offer up price listings. Why don't you do that? How helpful
am I being lately? - Mzebonga
you are just SO smart... so we added that thing on the page to
help people figure it out... so everyone join already
Why is it that when
the Americans make a joke about Canada, we take it with a grain
of salt...but, when Canadians make a joke about the States, they
start belly aching? McDiablo
they're like that... it's one of the things they do best
Why was my stupid
neighbour yelling earlier? Was she even yelling at anyone or just
talking to herself really loudly? McDiablo
a little of both actually... it began as yelling at someone and
then turned into talking to herself
Will I like learning
about Geography? McDiablo
sure, why not?!
why is the crime
rate in canada so low when u guys own just as many guns as we
do, watch all the same violent movies that we do and the weather's
colder in your country which would generally piss me off and make
me want to commit more crimes? - Bill Clinton
we're not as PARANOID and crazy... we don't fear each other ...
What is the origin
of the phrase 'fo shizzle my nizzle' ? Is it a derivative of 'fo
sheazy my neazy' and if so whats a neazy?? - SnoopDizzleDeazy
i have NO idea and that commercial bothers me greatly
What is the city
in the title banner? Did one of you guy take the photo?
it's ottawa actually and jcp took that picture from poptarts balcony
Have you seen Donnie
Darko? What did you think of it? - Bill Clinton
yes i have... and i liked it a lot actually... i have it on dvd
In your opinion,
is it sexy for a guy to grow his hair long?
i'm sure it is to some people... i think that at long as someone
takes care of their hair etc that it's a good thing no matter
if its long or short...
have you ever heard
"country death song" by the violent femms? if not you
should its a good song--db"_"
no i haven't but i'll find it and listen to it
What do you think
the meaning of Donnie Darko was?
i think it means that some strange shit can sometimes happen and
once in awhile people come up with some interesting ideas and
movies for us to watch and think about
Yeah I thought Donnie
Darko was awesom even though i didn't really understand it. Anyways,
what are your favorite movies? - Bill Clinton
it's good because you can't figure it all out in one sitting...
i'm sick of pre-chewed movies that make it so all i have to do
is sit and stare... make me THINK... and here
is a list of movies
Welcome to my question
DC! I will keep this somewhat brief so as not to infuriate you...
Why am I still lonely if myself knows that all attempts to make
make friendly gestures and comments to people in a pursuing minded
fashion will only lead to failure? Why does the world hate me
even though I give them nothing but joy, humor, and quiz answers?
And why canít I get those repeating things out of my head, even
though they bother me all the time?!? -FŽa
well the whole 'meeting people' thing is pretty much what you've
described... either you deal with it or you end up alone in an
apartment lined with tinfoil while wearing a pot so THEY can't
read your mind... as for the repeating things, as long as it's
not children's songs then things should be ok... well as ok as
why do girls
same reasons guys do...
Do you think
David Letterman played the greatest villain ever when he was selling
your kind as property like pets? Or slaves?!? in that documentary
on cabin-boys...? --G.Rasputin
he did WHAT?!?!
Why are people in
movies and other forms of media who are shot or otherwise fataly
wounded just sitting there and making sappy comments instead of
they're lazy... you'd be lazy if
you were shot... you'd be all 'damnit... now i'm SHOT... if they
think i'm getting up and doing shit well they'll just have to
do it themselves... SHOT... can you believe it?'
do you want to help
conquer the world with me and my pygmy hippo? -sexy leXXXy
sure... sounds like fun
DC, I've been pondering this question alot lately and as of yet
I have come up with no plausible answer so yet again I come to
you. Would you be so kind as to help me figure out what is the
true purpose of underwear? Honestly, we have pants and shorts
so why do we need underwear? It's practicality is limited and
so far I've only come up with an idea that perhaps it's just for
facetious value. It seems like a pointless layer of clothing if
you boil it all down. Sure, some would say that perhaps menstruating
women need it for their sanitary pads but that's just nasty. That's
what tampons were created for after all, any alternative and you're
sitting in your own filth - much like baths (but that's a whole
other story). So now that I've provided my insight, what's your
take on the reasoning behind wearing underwear? - Kitten
it's to stop your pubic hair and/or dick from being caught in
zippers... also it assists in keeping your ass slightly warmer
when sitting on cold objects... and so when your ass sweats it
is soaked up into your underwear and not into your pants where
everyone can see it... it also assists in keeping most odors contained
in the underwear so you can wear your pants a few times in a row...
prevents your ass from eating your pants (instead it eats your
underwear which somehow isn't as bad)... need i mention how it
keeps things 'in place' for guys? as for chicks... do you really
want to stick your pad to the insides of your pants so it can
fall out your pant leg when you walk around?
Miss Roger's Sweater
is taking seven courses this semester. How long will it be before
she loses her mind? McDiablo
let's face it... she already has... but before she becomes violent
you'll want to make sure she's pacified with slurpees and notes
written in a coded language
My Geography class
is rather dull. What can I do to entertain myself? McDiablo
color in all maps... that's fun... then create your own country...
color that in... come up with laws etc
I don't know what
I want to be when I grow up. Do you have any suggestions? McDiablo
hell no... just see what happens... you'll change careers a few
are you a single
at the moment yes
bucks!! you gotta be kidding me, why should we pay for the same
things that we can get free at 2 million other places on the net?
same? no not the same... and if you don't want to then don't...
it's a way for us to make some money to pay for the bandwidth
etc without charging you for the content and plastering your screen
with ads like 2 million other sites do... it's like going out
and buying the album to your favorite band so that your money
goes towards something you support instead of just downloading
their songs for free...
about the pregy thing...i forgot about you sterilization campaign...anyway...have
you seen a sock monkey in any movie before? leigh
i think i saw one in monkeybone but then again i might have been
How can I make Empriss
Nikon love me? - Mzebonga
i think that tying her up thing you mentioned would work... she
seems to like that sorta thing
hi dc i like your
name!!! Well okay here is my pathetic question do u think it is
fair for my bf to break up with me b/c i have my friend scotts
pic in my locker???
who cares if it's fair... the guy is obviously a fucking idiot...
are you both in grade 2? that's the sort of thing i'd expect from
a gradeschooler... breaking up because of a picture <rolls
eyes> and people wonder what is wrong with those so called
reality shows on tv all the time... cuz kids get STUPIDER when
it comes to sex and love... as if it weren't bad enough dealing
with it all...
Paying to join my
tid just isn't an option. How will I pass the time? Will you put
me out of my misery? FartMonkey
well that's why we have this lovely free site for you to come
visit... memorize it all and then you amuse others
yeah, but come on
$15 bucks... every 3 months? If it was like a one off or perhaps
yearly payment then i'd probably go for it, but unless u you can
guarantee a web cam and at least some degree of nudity a think
$15 bucks a quarter is a bit rich. - unemployed.
now that this is being asked without being a whiner... i agree
and have asked JCP to consider this... i think that $15 for the
year is a reasonable amount... only because i know she won't give
you any nudity... i will... but then again everyone gets to see
me nude for free
didja miss me cuz
i missed you.. *waves sack of money in front of you* - SiNiSTaR
<takes the sack of money> oh i missed you so much! i cried
while you were away and kept a candle burning to remind me that
one day you'd be back...
are you related to
stevie wonder..? - SiNiSTaR
no i'm not although that would be great if i were... i could have
him teach me how to sing and play songs...
ever played worms
armageddon? - SiNiSTaR
no i haven't actually... are you sending
it to me? how about a postcard from where you're from??? i've
gotten some from Miss Rogers Sweater...
Is she bi or lesbian?
why limit herself to lesbian when she can be bi and have both?
Has a turtle ever
come up to you and asked for a raise? FartMonkey
yes actually so i helped it out and then later on i saw it on
tv and homer kicked it which wasn't very nice
Where do these crapspammers
keep getting my email? I haven't signed up for anything new lately...*numerous
i have no idea... we get at least 20 to 30 a day on our one email...
it sucks a lot and i hate it
Don't forget to put
your nickname at the end of your question, you say? Well what
if FartMonkey is my REAL name? Can I still put it? FartMonkey
yes... but only because you're so special and have monkey in your
On a scale of 1-10,
10 being the most, how hard would you laugh at JCP if she woke
up and her face was painted purple and it wouldn't come off? FartMonkey
10... i'd probably piss myself laughing
My guitar is an Epiphone
so there's this big E on it. We've decided to name it Egbert.
Do you see anything wrong with this? FartMonkey
it's better then naming it something you always forget how to
spell... calling it Emu would suck too
How come our art
teacher makes us rate our own work and write what grade we think
we deserve? I mean my work is ok but I don't want to be one of
those pompous farts and say "Oh yeah I totally rock and I'm
sooo better than all of you and I deserve an A+++++"...if
I write that I deserve an F, will she give me one? FartMonkey
give yourself an A and never an A+... the A+ shows that you don't
think you could have done it any better while the A you can argue
is good work, room for improvement, but that you are satisfied
with it... it's all subjective... if you don't like how it turned
out, then give yourself a lower mark...
They said they needed
some duct tape to repair a bag. I wondered what was taking so
long. When I got my duct tape back, it was about half as thick
as it was before. Then I saw them with elaborate duct tape decorations
on their pants. I'm totally in favor of pantal duct tape decorations,
but why can't they get their own duct tape to do it with? Is revenge
in order here? FartMonkey
i say you ask them to give you a roll to make up for their unwarrented
use... if they don't do that then duct tape their hands and feet
together and spank them until they cry in pain
When you are unconstipated
and are functioning normally, are you supposed to not have any
crap inside you until you eat, then that turns to crap, and then
you crap that all out so there is once again nothing? Or is there
some in there at all times? The Undisputed Turd King
that i don't know... i would think there is always a small amount
in there as most people eat throughout the day... perhaps some
stuff takes longer to empty out? you should go to your doctor
and find out... unless you're in the US or somewhere that you
have to pay for a visit to the doctor... if so then we'll get
someone from canada to go and ask since we don't pay for that
sort of thing...
So, the cold seasons
are upon us once again. What should I do to survive the next nine
months or so seeing that I'm one of the coldest people on the
you've already got the cold season? i say you move here to ontario
as it's still warm here... 9 months? woah! ok i say you move into
a sauna... that should help for awhile... you can also try what
hans solo did and cut open some large animal and live in it for
What was your favourite
book when you were younger? McDiablo
well that depends on what you mean by younger... under the age
of 10 it was 'the twits' by roald dahl... between the ages of
10 and 15 it was the foundation books by isaac asimov... between
15 and 20 it was hitchikers guide to the galaxy (followed closely
by the talisman by stephen king and peter straub)... and now...
hmmm... either a brief history of time by stephen hawking or fight
club by chuck palahniuk
Why must people freak
out over violent video games? McDiablo
i don't know but if you're talking about grand theft auto then
i also freak out
Do you know of anyone
who gets up and puts on "Saving Private Ryan"? Apparently,
my younger brother is one of these people. McDiablo
no i don't... not even poptart does that and he's big into war
I feel like dunking
my head in cold water to wake up. Should I? McDiablo
why yes... enjoy
Done anything rebellious
just screamed out the window at people... other then that... no
not really... i'm not sure what counts as rebellious right now
There's this girl
who looks a bit like Empriss Nikon where I work... Trouble is,
she doesn't fall for my manly charms. Given that I am unused to
women who do not fall at my feet and beg me to fornicate with
them, how should I go about convincing her to "jump my bones"?
well first you will want to find her some stuff that will amuse
her as you don't appear to be doing so well on your own... perhaps
a playstation 2... or a new computer... then once she's all amused
with that then you can have a better chance and you can then tell
her your idea of having your 'bones jumped'... how did you finally
get with empriss nikon? did you have to pay her like i did?
what or who did you
most recently call a son of a bitch?
hmmm... i don't really use that term...
If a person is insane,
do they exist?
twice actually... and then forever
Is abortion murder?
yes... but then again life is just one big long murder... for
a great many it would have been better to have not existed at
You should make cat
porn, it might be entertaining. How bout it DC? -Ferretchick
um... no... but i will be having more pics taken soon
Do sun glasses make
people more intimidating? I mean you can never see their eyes
so you never know if they're staring at you or what. -Ferretchick
that's the wonderful part about them... people aren't sure where
you're looking... that's right... i was checking out your ass...
People say something
smells like a bed of roses. Have they ever smelled a bed of roses?
Is it a bed made of roses or a flower bed or something else? Do
they even have a clue? -Ferretchick
they are LIARS and are just trying to sound cool.. most of them
don't even like roses... next time you call them liars
What if you didn't
have to breathe in order to survive, would you breathe to fit
in or laugh at others who have to breathe? -Ferretchick
i'd be underwater having a whole different type of life with the
fish... damned fish... i'll show them all
What if you were
trapped in a room with no doors or windows, just numerous clocks
all ticking...But the ticking wasn't even on time so it was just
annoying little ticktickticks with no time in between each one?
i'd have to smash them all...
How come it seems
like whores from the 1800s never got pregnant? They didn't have
condoms, it seems rather strange... - Ferretchick
hmmm... i think that they did but they probably just 'disposed'
of it or ... or? or i just don't know... maybe they were all aliens
and couldn't get pregnant but instead just took off to their planet
with the sperm...
How come the lady
teaching the sewing class was so incredibly boring that she rambled
for 2 hours about which fabrics would get stuck in different machines?
a sewing class? run away... if she won't shut up then jam needles
in her eyes and then run away
Why do i find "Hardcore
Punk Rawk Day" to be an utterly useless day where punk people
get discounts off of things because they're ''dressed up'' and
showing "spirit" when they always dress like that? -shatteredglasses
oh so it's only ok for the seniors to get discounts? how unfair
where dose acid rain
exisit around the world
everywhere... it's ALL tainted to some degree
I was suprised to
see that whilst you included Jackie Brown in the movies list you
left out Pulp Fiction, any particular reason for this? - Bill
i personally liked jackie brown much more then pulp fiction...
then again, i can't stand john travolta
Damn JCP is pretty
hot, any chance that she'd leave her husband and go out with me??
Is that other guy in the sock monkey t-shirt section her huby?
If he is could you please tell her that I'm way better looking
than that dude, ergo, she should dump him and go out with me.
hahaha... very convincing arguement... how could she not agree?
So when someone is
being a bitch about having plans canceled because of an emergency,
do they or do they not deserve to have flaming poo left on their
oh they DO...
Are you a fan of
Disney animated films? If so, who is your favourite character?
i don't like disney the company... but if i had to chose then...
um... oh yea the caterpillar in alice in wonderland... or the
Why do milkshakes
make me throw up after I consume them? McDiablo
it's all the shaking... it gets into your stomach and shakes itself
out... ok damn that was a lame answer... how about you just not
have them anymore?
So, uh, my mom has
decided to turn on the television which is located behind me.
She is going to watch "Canadian Idol". What should I
do? WHAT SHOULD I DO??!! McDiablo
scream... run away... throw things... scream... scream... scream...
Have you ever personally
met a fangirl (in any fandom)? I have and I think there should
be a set hunting season, or at least some anti-pschotic drugs
for those chicks. It's like they're permanently trippen. ...Oopa
a fangirl? hmmm... do they come labeled so i know who they are?
where would i look for such things?
my studid gay homosexual
lover Barry keeps hogging my dildo, what should I do? - Brad
buy him one or buy yourself another one
I caught my son jacking
off to gay porn but he swears he isnt gay and that dicks just
turn him on. Is he lying to me?
no... perhaps he's bisexual and both turn him on... then he isn't
lying to you at all
i please please get a monkey butt for this question? they make
me laugh,... please?? - Woohoo
sigh... fine... just this once
Would you agree that
The Simpsons is the greatest show in television history. My stupid
friend says that Seinfield is the greatest show ever and my other
even stupider friend says that Friends is the greatest show ever.
Should i dump these people or simply try to look past their stupidity?
Oh and heres a second question which is kind of related as it
came out of the same arguement - Does liking the simpsons make
me a nerd? Its not like i collect any simpsons stuff, i dont even
have any simpsons video's or DVD's i just think its a funny show
thats been consistently funny for 10 years - how does this make
me a nerd? Heaps of cool people like the simpsons, dont they??-
i say you excuse their ignorance for just a little while longer...
simpsons is indeed the best... its a great show... here
is a site that has TONS of info on them....
Have you got a MATCH
no just a lighter
hey, how are ya?!
do you like horror movies? what do you think of those people who
watch horror movies then cover their eyes everytime it gets really
hi i'm tired... and sometimes yes... sometimes no... and i don't
get that... if they are watching then watch it... but then again
if they're the type of person that can't get images out of their
heads or dream about things like that then i can see why they'd
cover their eyes but then they shouldn't watch the movie...
i think this is the
longest day of my life...its good to have a new job but completing
all the reqiurements is very hateful...dont you just hate going
back and forth...back and forth...back and forth...up and down...up
and down...why cant they just be in one area so it'll be easier
for everybody!!! anyway, are you employed? what do you do? how
many jobs have you had? leigh
why yes i'm employed... and jobs are rarely organized properly...
i think they do it on purpose... right now i do a great many things
in my job mostly involving project management and 'computers'...
i have had a few jobs, all involving 'computers' and project management...
need help: for like
a week now everytime i pass this particular road on my way to
the office, there's this lonely pylon which always catch my attention...never
a day pass that i never notice it...i feel like i'm drawn to it...its
like it wants me to look at it and i'm damn itching to get it...there's
just one problem though...i dont want trouble...there's a gov't
notice everywhere saying that "a mere possession of road
signs, etc is punishable by law"...what should i do? what
would you do if you see a lonely pylon on the road? leigh
run it over... if it catches under your wheel and makes it to
your house with you, then it's yours...
Wanna write my english
paper for me? FartMonkey
that all depends on what it's about
I don't get it. The
avoid me online...but then talk to me in person? Wtf? This is
all just part of their plan, isn't it? FartMonkey
well yes... it's strange how they do that but that is again just
part of their plan...
Are sockmonkey days
longer than human days? Why say that the questions will be answered
every 2 to 3 days when they clearly never are? Why not just be
honest and change the thing and say that "questions will
be answered every 4 - 5 - 6 days or whenever I feel like answering
peoples pathetic lame questions." at least then we would
respect you for being honest.
well mostly they are answered every 3 days but sometimes i slip
and let it go to 4 days... i like the beatings that mzebonga and
empriss nikon and jcp give me for being late... it just hurts
so much it feels good...
Mr Burns, your campaign
seems to have the momentum of a runaway steem train. Why are you
ahhhh simpsons... we all love you
I saw The Osbournes
cat get rape by their dog! Horrible! we must kill that dog immediatly.
Has this been reported to the CATS?
figures they'd put that on tv instead of stopping it... sigh...
though i haven't seen it... and the cats are now fully aware of
this and will take immediate action
How much did you
pay her? What did you get for that investment? How long did it
last? - Mzebonga
i think she just took everything... it was hard to remember what
went on as i was unconscious for a week... and my memory has never
fully come back... if i try to think about it i black out... i
think it was well worth it and i look forward to experiencing
it again once i am through with the therapy
why, oh WHYYY are
cats going to invade the planet? I mean, i'm freaking out in my
sad little batman postered walls cryiong, trying to levitate whilst
writing this letter. WHY?? what did we dio to them? I'm sure my
cat loves me cos it always gets sexually aroused whenn it rubs
against me so why would they hatch an evil plot? Did u get this
idea from cats and dogs sorry about the multiple questions but
i HAVE to know and who is the leader cat evil dictator????????
it's not evil to have the cats take over... look at the horrid
job that humans do... so do what the cats say and you won't be
forced to work in the kitty litter mines...
Have you ever thought
of ol' FartMonkey when not answering my questions? FartMonkey
why just the other night yes... it was great... too bad you weren't
I can't feel my face.
I think there really WAS no cavity. I think he just wanted some
cash so he strapped me into the chair and injected strange chemicals
into my gums. The voices are back! What did he inject into me?
brand new voices... the other voices got bored with you and wanted
someone new to boss around... just do what the new voices say...
Will you pretend
to be a chip and dale at my 18th borthday party!?- pinkepiphany
no... those chipmunks were annoying
What happened? I
came here yesterday and it was like it has been and I came today
and it was different. I like it tho it looks good. YAY! I dont
think I have ever taken the time to say thanks to you DC, or to
JCP and Ver for the work on this site. Good Job you guys...Did
that sound sincere or like I was kissing ass?---monkeeskittles
oh it sounded sincere and i'm wiping a tear from my eye... jcp
created the new design.. so i'll tell her you don't think it sucks
like i told her...
Is tailgating a symptom
of repressed homosexuality? If so, how does one encourage others
to open and up and go find an actual ass to ride? Enfante Terrible
no i don't think it's a symptom... but then again i have really
researched the whole thing... i say you make it your life's work...
Do you have any sympathy
for men who whine about not wanting to use condoms? I don't but,
I wondered if you would offer them any intelligent defense. Enfante
no i don't... i mean come on... the possiblity of a screaming
brat that is part of your life forever... or a disease so you
can't have sex forever... you can avoid it all by having it feel
a little less good but still get off... how the hell does anyone
NOT think it's worth it? kid or condom? disease or condom? if
a guy won't wear one then he doesn't deserve to even be fucked...
Do you think that
guys who jack off and sell their spooge to vain, middle class
assholes, that are so desparate to make new babies rather than
just adopt (if they must) spare babies that already exist, are
culpable accessories to the crime of mindless breeding? I am hoping
this doesn't count as a forbidden "baby question" as
it is actually about breeders and my campaign to stop them. Thank
you. Enfante Terrible
yes they should adopt... there are plenty of brats to go around...
Disney will soon
stop doing 2d animated movies because they believe the money is
in 3d. I think since more than half of their ideas are shit to
begin with it won't matter what format the movie comes out it.
I like 2d animation, but if you're going to put out a movie about
cows how can you expect anything more than failure? ..Oopa
disney is just annoying... ignore them... i say you take over
and set them straight
Have you ever walked
in on a group discussin blow jobs? ...Oopa
yes actually... then they wanted me to join in on the discussion
I entirely made in
the USA, can a sock monkey run for president? ... Oopa
why not? i could go run in california
"No Fido! NO!
That's a discus not a frisbee!" Have you ever competed in
the throwing events for track and field? ..Oopa
yes i did once... but then something got broken and that was the
end of that...
Do you have female
friends that regularly say things like, "That sucks my bum
hole." and "Fuck me up the asshole."? ..Oopa
i used to know a few chicks like that... that time is over...
I once knew a boyscout
who owned a solar-powered flashlight. Have you ever bought powdered
no i haven't...
Would you get irritated
if someone told you to look for a boy/girlfriend for them and
you don't have one for yourself?T.P.
i'd laugh at them and say 'find your own you dumbass'... i'm not
a dating service...
DC....why does everyone
generalize supid people as assholes? I take offense to that...
I've been called an asshole my whole life, but I am not a moron
like at least 85 percent of the people on this planet.. I think
that just because people are morons doesn't make them assholes..
Your thoughts on the subject would be most appreciated......Harbinger
so you're saying that some stupid people are assholes but not
assholes are stupid? then saying that some assholes are stupid
is correct but all assholes are stupid is incorrect... i see...
thank you for clearing that up...
Where should my friend
get a piercing? Any suggestions? She isn't sure where. (no, 'down
there' is not an option!)
down where? describe it... anyways i say pierce the eyebrow...
Where did all the
food in my house go? McDiablo
check your sibling(s)
My mom has a thing
against tattoos. I mean, I'm not going to get one because the
thought of being poked multiple times with a needle doesn't thrill
me, but what is her problem? McDiablo
maybe she is one of those people who got one in a not so public
place while she was drunk and wants to make sure you don't get
one that way...
Do you like Kool-Aid?
If so, what flavour is your favourite? McDiablo
i don't anymore but when i did i liked the orange
What gives with the
new page layout? It sucks! The old one was way better. Does this
have something to do with the cats? Mzebonga
we love you too mzebonga <gives a big hug> we'll pay attention
to you even though we have a new page layout... we can love both
of you... now go play nicely with the new layout...
So wait, let me get
this straight, there is no MEOW MIX?! -Ferretchick
there was but it's true... there is NONE
Do you think we start
dying right after we're born or right after the sperm meets the
the second there is life is the second death also begins... so
when the sperm fertilizes the egg
i've noticed that
people go into relationships and stay in them til they realize
the other person sucks. Are all relationshiips doomed to be like
most yes... but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy being with them
for awhile if they don't suck too bad
Is rain a conspiracy
against nature made by the government? -Ferretchick
no... that's what cigarettes are for
DC, why do I like
this freshman? I really don't know, is it the younger man appeal?
age is irrelevant unless one of you isn't legal...
im going to die..*gasps
for breath* they tricked me DC...my mommy lied...she made me eat
meat without realizing it until i was half way done and i was
like hey, this tastes funny...the she told me...should i kill
her, make her beg for forgiveness, or shove bologna down her throat
for 53 days, 18 hours, 33 minutes and 15 seconds?
i say you make her so guilty that she buys you two playstation2s
and you send one to me
so, i went to a party
last night and there was an ass orgy......it ws weird, everyone
started grabbing everybody elses asses...............would YOU
join in an ass orgy..??????it was fun :::) irish psycho
that depends greatly on who else is in the room with me...
how come ppl say
that no one is perfect and the bible says we are made in the image
of god. Isnt god perfect, which means that if he is perfect then
we as the image of him should be perfect? Am i right?
there is no such thing as perfection
i'm positive i won't
win the good question award, but what would it take for me to
win it short of self desecrating sexual favors?
if the question is appealing to me for one reason or another...
some make me laugh and some make me think or sometimes i just
give a great answer and want people to read it...
What if 42 really
is the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything? frolic is
a funny word
then that'd be strange... and yes it is
When is it bad to
procrastinate--or is it ever a bad thing to do? McDiablo
i'm not sure... i'll tell you later
Why do people think
that three bathroom stalls are enough in the woman's washrooms?
i'm not sure... maybe they are sick fucks? imagine if you had
to piss without any stalls at all
Where in Canada do
you want to visit? McDiablo
i'd like to go to BC (you can have me over for a slurpee)... see
how farth north i can get before i say 'this sucks i'm leaving'...
go to alberta and see dinosaurs... and go to cape breton... all
the stuff in the middle will be good to see too
Why do people think
I am insane? I mean honestly, it's not like I talk to myself or
shout at random words like "cabbage!"... much. -frolic
is a funny word
and why NOT? you should start so that you don't bring shame to
the insane name
I agree with you
DC, I think JCP can do better... But I don't want her to hurt
me, so you tell her. OKay? - Mzebonga
i fell for that last time and got my ass kicked... she never believes
me when i say 'no really, mzebonga said to say it'... ok that's
a lie cuz i can't even say mzebonga and in reality i just say
mizbonga which sounds a lot like ms bonga... or missybonga or
bongaboy... how the hell are you supposed to say that anyways?
What is up with the
weather out here in B.C.? I mean, I wake up, look out my window
and see a big, black cloud approaching, so I think, 'Ok, looks
like pants weather'. I put on some pants and two layers of shirts
.... and the sun comes out. Should I maybe watch the weather on
the news more often or what? McDiablo
i have found that there is a channel that tells me what the temprature
will be in the morning... afternoon and evening... sometimes they
lie but it makes me feel like i'm somehow 'informed' and 'prepared'...
in closing i'd like to say go for the pants that have the legs
unzip into shorts...
Do people on my online
class post their assignments in the nude? Miss Roger's Sweater
was joking about it, but I'm starting to wonder. McDiablo
at the very least two of them have and laughed while doing it...
i wonder how many people have talked to me online or posted a
question here while nude... i'm sure mzebonga has...
How long does it
take you to digest liquids? McDiablo
i think it depends on a great number of things including the liquid,
the person, the time of day and where the moon is
I was thinking about
your insane decorating tips for a long time. The other day I was
bored so I said You know what? I'm going to hang those socks from
my ceiling. I recieved no response, probably because nobody else
was there. So I tacked a bunch of socks to the ceiling and named
them all. Bernie, Charlies, Agnes..that one in the corner hasn't
earned a name yet..we'll have to decide his fate at a later point.
I also tacked my converse to the ceiling. I think mommy is worried.
What do you think? FartMonkey
i think it's great and where are the pictures??? i'd like some...
that's what we do here at theinsanedomain.com... we help you find
solutions for your every day lives
do you like cheese?
yes... but in theory no
Why is it called
a phillips screw driver? Phillip doesn't own it, its my damn screw
i think it's the person who invented that type... most people
don't know what a robertson screw driver is... it's a canadian
thing i think
Why can't people
understand that I dislike this whole "calling" thing,
phones frighten me. Is there any way to make this more obvious
aside from telling them whenever they ask me to call? -Ferretchick
disconnect it... or break it... breaking it works very well...
especially if you can get it to emit loud noises that causes the
person calling to cringe...
Why do i find sheep
so amusing? -Ferretchick
it's the way their feet jut out of the wool
Do you beleve in
sure but to be honest i only truly believe it is possible for
us to go forward... if you go back then you are going along an
alternate timeline... then again if there is such a thing as alternate
time lines then everything is going on anyways... either way...
i say humans can only go forward in time if they ever can at all
... plus time is pretty screwed up due to gravity and such...
what is the word
for not liking someone but with not hating them...?because i feel
that for you man..harshhhh
i think you're feeling neutral... or you're in complete denial
of having feelings towards me... be they pure hate or pure love...
not like you but nor do i despies you..but hey you can regain
my likeness 4 you by answering this with a nice shiny green monster
head by the side.Where has the flowers gone?beneath the willow
tree?or lost in the streams?oh where oh where ..have they gone?-pleaseytakey
no award for you... you don't deserve one
ive just thought
about you and your life and i wonder....this website...if you
wernt doing this right now .i mean at this exact moment as you
read these "questions"...what would u be doing instead
or has this become like a partner to you and you cant imagine
your life without it?(i wont recommend saying yes to that, people
will pity then laugh at you, well one person will)anyways i have
thoughts and i want answers SO GIMME! -Pleaseytakey(i still do
not have an liking for you,but dont let that affect your answers
or decision in answering these) ...you could create a new person
to fall for that little scam 5$ club of yours....
how nice of you to think about me all on your own... i'd be off
being a super hero that did many fantastic things but since you
keep writing in then i'm forced to answer which makes it everyone
elses fault and not mine... will you still cry for me? instead
i'd prefer you send me cash... to be honest i don't know if i
have much of a liking for you... maybe you sending me stuff in
the mail will help me to begin considering to give you a good
question award as it appears you won't be getting it any other
Why will my cd player
only play one of my cd's (avril lavigne) without having to make
those spinny whirring noises for about 8 minutes first? And when
it makes those noises what's going on in there? FartMonkey
i think it's time to get a new cd player... just suck it up and
go get one... well ok maybe try cleaning it first
Got any ideas on
how to attempt to humiliate the pompous oaf who's convinced that
I'm in love with him? FartMonkey
is humiliation needed? why not just duct tape over the mouth and
a carefully worded threat?
I gave the vending
machine money. It made me think the bag was going to fall, but
instead it "accidentally" snagged on the coil and got
stuck there. So I said fine, I'll have to buy another bag to get
the first one. So I put more money in. The first one fell out
and the second one snagged. I got frustrated because I had no
more money and I couldn't smash the metal cage open and get my
money back because the security trolls were behind me. How shall
I get my revenge? FartMonkey
karate kick it repeatedly until you realize that you're not doing
any damage at all... then write down the toll free number on the
side and you phone and tell them your story (minus the kicking...
they don't like that) and tell them that its hanging there RIGHT
NOW and you want it and that you've stopped everyone from buying
until you GET THEM... tell them lots of people are walking away
without spending money... tell them you have signs up to boycott
them until you get what is due to you...
Why must we like
him? Why do his friends swear at us? FartMonkey
you don't like him... just the idea of him... and they swear because
they truly have nothing better to say
How many hours/minutes
a week do you spend answering these questions, on average? ...Oopa
takes 15 to 40 minutes every three days... it depends on the amount
of questions... and how many questions deserve answers that are
longer then a few words
I really like sock
monkeys although I've never made one. Walmart sells a $9.87 kit
to make one but to me that's cheating. Where can I get my hands
on a cheap pair of those old grey and red socks? My grandma make
me a monkey sock when I was very little. I wish I still had the
monkey sock...I mean....sockmonkey.I want to make a fancy one
with sequins and feathers and such since I have those supplies
on hand. Would you like a picture of it if I ever make one?
Yours Truly' GG p.s. I really like
Curious George too. I wonder what his voice would sound like if
he ever spoke. What if he had a real deep voice!!? That would
be funny I think!
the cheap part is the socks... stuffing is what costs money so
i say you steal a bunch of pillows from a friends house and use
that stuffing... then spend as much money as needed to get soft
socks to use for making a sock monkey... nothing worse then a
scruffy sock monkey
IM NOT CREATIVE,I
SURE WISH I WAS ...LATLEY IVE BEEN SELF DOUBTING MYSELF!hmm..sry
about that, i guess i just got another person to not like me..wah..
I have no talents..?im lonley..lifes going so slow..i have to
keep going..i really cant handle it anymre, i have no were to
this is one of those role-playing exercises isn't it? the type
where you pretend to be all 'woe i me' and then when i go to comfort
you then you throw paint in my face... yea i know that type and
let me tell you i'm not falling for it so just eat your paint
and shut the hell up
what will it take
to win your first born in a bet?...like if the leafs will win
the stanley cup this season...I can have the first born?-KillingJoy
i do NOT plan on breeding... even the whole 'leafs winning the
cup' thing won't distract me...
all that bad...you can create a humanin your picture!but not by
the things you say..but the things you surround it with!or in
your case you can create a sock monkey!ooo!Just reveiw your own
childhood... things that marked patterns in your life and things
you wish you were exposed to and what was off balance...you'll
change your mind about things believe me!you can do good... if
you dont screw up, you could create a little charlie manson, whatever
you want:)YAH!- Im so Torn,Why has my brain left me?
all that talk of breeding made your brain run away... mine too...
i feel ill now as well... me breeding... not a good thought
What if you had TWO
tails? Could you sew another tail onto your existing butt? Or
maybe like five? Think of it...FartMonkey
now that you mention it... i do have some room for extra tails...
what a great idea!
Wouldn't it be cool
if I could just kinda space out until tomorrow? Or maybe even
tonight? Cuz I have to finish writing this cursed english paper
now, and it's gonna be boring as all get out. Speaking of which,
what does "all get out" mean, anyway? FartMonkey
yes it would be good but not today... only because today is a
sunday... i'd rather space out and miss the week and just wake
up on weekends... then again... that's a huge ripoff... why should
i have to give up 5 days to work? how unfair
Why does the word
bulbous make me laugh? frolic
it's just so fun to say... how can it not make you laugh? well
ok it didn't that time... but it will
Why are there so
many names for toilets? e.g bathroom, restroom, john, loo, wc,
bog, little boys/girls room, le pissoir etc and why do people
think girls always need to go to the toilet in pairs? frolic
there are many things that have many different names... take cheese
for example... you can call cheese all sorts of names... as for
chicks going to the bathroom in pairs... i think it's due to the
idea that one girl goes to the bathroom while the other one stands
by the bathroom entrance to make sure there are no sick fucks
hanging out that get off on the sounds of chicks pissing and shitting...
pleasyTakey has read
your answer and um...im unimpressed, do you mean to entartain
or create relationships?not that i ask one from you, im words
without feeling... i think im gona study you.
you're not the first to 'study' me... one person did some sort
of thesis on me... that's beside the point... the point is that
no, i will not paint smiles on dolls in your toy factory
I'm doing awful in
school this year. What's responsible for my sudden stupidity?
it's the font used in the text books... retype them all into your
computer and set the font to something that is better for learning...
If I were to die
or suddenly leave everyone, would they miss me? I highly doubt
it as I have never contributed anything good. Bad things yes...-Ferretchick
some of them would miss you... others would pretend to for a suitable
amount of time... and there is one person who would decide they
can't live without you and so they will pretend to be you for
His hair is all funny
and wooshy, perhaps I should touch it? Or would that octopus come
out and try to kill me again? -Ferretchick
it's something that you should be willing to find out... go on...
Why do they always
run away from me? -Ferretchick
it's the pins you jab into their eyes to see if they are 'real'
I'm researching a
presentation about this serial killer pyscho dude Ed Gein. Do
you know anything about him?can you write my presentation about
Ed Gein for me ?
do the work yourself... and then send it in to me and i'll tell
you if you got anything wrong...
So, my friends and
I thought it'd be fun to go through a corn maze at night. It was
enjoyable...except we didn't find our way through! We got as far
as the second marker, wandered around for half an hour and could
not find the third. We decided (after finding the forth one) that
we would head back out the way we came. On our way back, we found
the third marker. What...the...HELL? McDiablo
that's the sort of thing that happens with corn mazes... sometimes
the corn gets extremely violent and will beat people with their
cobs and then eat them... you're lucky you survived... that and
the markers are in many different dimensions
After reading what
I went through in the previous question, how much did my friends
and I deserve a Slurpee??? McDiablo
you all deserved free large slurpees
My sister seemed
very amazed that I burned two CDs. I guess she was unaware that
I did. Or did she think I didn't know how to burn them? McDiablo
next time slap a sign on the door that says 'magic show' and charge
her a dollar
Did you miss me?
Or did you even notice that I was gone? --EP
oh yea... boy did i miss you... yea... i missed you a lot
sorry ive been gone
for a while but i was off fighting the good war over in france.
i was parachuting in to the western front when a strong wind carried
me off course about 8 miles (or was it kilometers? idont know.
damn metric system!) anyways i ended up landing in the grape orchid
of a french farmer. he knew a little english and was very hospitible,
he gave me civilian clothing and a bed for the night. in the mornig
he came to wake me, he told me to countinue to rest while he saw
to food, drink, and a bath for me, and one more thing "the
needs of a man" i wasnt sure about the last thing but he
seemed trustworthy. he came for me around noon he took me to the
household kittchen where i met his wife and his wife's lovly sister
annet. we then preceeded to eat lunch.after lunch was done i properly
thanked them, he said there was no need for such formalitys he
then instructed me to follow annet for she will prepare my bath.
i followed annet to the bathroom where, as i sat in the corner,
she set the bath the whole time coyly smiling at me. when the
bath was ready she then began to unbutton her blouse. what happened
after that i will keep to myself for i am a gentelman.when we
returned to the kittchen i explained to the farmer and his wife
my honest intentions to marry annet, they, including annet, then
began to laugh at me for 3 minutes after wich he said " no
need, we are french." im still confused about that whole
episode.oh well. so did you ever hear "country death song"?did
you like it? " what is your name? what is your quest? what
is the average speed of a swallow?"--db"_"
your entry is disturbing... i mean... do i take the time to see
if that's from something even though i don't care? do i reply
to the questions tossed in there that qualifies this entry of
yours since it's met my rules? do i just ignore the stream of
words that doesn't hold any amusement and even when it does then
you won't tell more? i think that i've learnt to expect more out
of you... is this a decoy entry to distract me while you go through
DC, How much monkey
poo could a sock monkey chuck if a sock monkey could chuck monkey
a great amount of monkey poo... about the same amount it takes
to build a house of monkey poo....
Will Peter Pan ever
really grow up? -- Smee
oh smee... my precious smee... no... but he WILL die...
property man! why do some people take other 'superiorpeople' 'superior'
quotes and gives fuckin-tremendous credit to those 'superiorpeople'
when infact i just said the same thing right out of my brain first!!!
(last week to be precise!) -deserv5
well your PR people should be fired... i say you get a whole new
ad campaign going and start taking the credit you so rightfully
am i being stupid
just coz i'm an attention seeker? if so, can i plead insanity
if i were to pulp/rape someone for no reason? ( logic:stupid=cant
think=maddog insane) -deserv5
yes and yes you can but you'd deserve your ass to be beaten in
forever if you go rape someone
u look cool in that
shades DC! must be feeling smug right now and always coz alot
of people GIVING THEIR FUCKING WORTHLESS ATTENTION AT YOU! dammit...
cant you ever stop smiling like that? if you do, can i take over
your place? -deserv5
i can stop smiling... and no... you'd be a poor replacement
DAMMIT DC STOP SMILING
AT METHATWAY !YOU MAKING FUN AT ME ARENT YA?!! dammit... -deserv5
you like it when i smile at you... that funny feeling you get
in your pants is because you like me... that's why you keep staring
at me too...
Where did my brain
cells go? McDiablo
i think you ate them that day you found something crunchy in your
If all the bands
I like now decide to tour in 30 years, will they charge a lot
of money for tickets? My mom is having this problem right now.
yes they will... and when they do... you can think back to this
day and think 'damn... dc was right'
Do you like pretzels?
yes i do
Have I asked this
before? - Mzebonga
so many times that i now am clawing at my own face to try to escape
After parting with
someone on even slightly bad terms, isn't it great to say "If
I turned up dead tomorrow, you'd feel just a little bit worse"?
I mean even though nobody gives a flyin crap about me, its funny
to say though, right? FartMonkey
well first you were asking if it were great... and then funny...
What do you think
the dumbest method of suicide would be? FartMonkey
crying to death
What do you think
of people who shave their arms? How about guys who have really
bad unibrows so they shave it off or ..whatever they do about
i don't care if people shave their arms... and hey... if that's
what they do then whatever... as long as those things don't get
done to me
I'm feeling unloved.
Here's a shiny quarter! Will you be my fffffrrrrriiiieeeennnndddd?
um... no... but mzebonga might... <glances over at mzebonga>
oh... no he won't either... sorry
If Al Gore invented
the internet, did he also invent the wheel? FartMonkey
that statement = false
What else could I
stick up on my ceiling? The socks are cool but some other stuff
would be cooler yet..I keep forgetting to take a picture...do
you really want a picture or are you just messing with my head?
candy wrappers... strange ads for products you would NEVER use...
and yes i would like to see a picture... you can give us permission
to put it in the insane decorating article so people can see how
to do it
why is it that the
guy who wrote the check and forgot his id is always in front of
me in line?
there is someone in your life who pays that person to do those
sorts of things to you... if you think about all those annoying
moments that happen every day you will begin to see that it's
all the same person doing it only to YOU
do you think porn
is the new national pasttime...or is it online chat?
they are pretty much the same thing
come superman always flies with his fists out in front of him
and subsequently flies forward, but then if he moves his arm out
to the side to grab somebody, he doesn't turn that way? Does he
HAVE to fly with his fists out in front of him? Wouldn't it be
more comfortable for him to fly in a reclining chair with a refreshing
i'm as stunned as you are that you got the good question award...
it's funny how those things happen sometimes... and i think he
does that just to look all 'tough' and 'bold' while flying...
he's just pushing the wind down his body so the cape looks all
'floating' behind him...
How many pills do
I gotta take to die? FartMonkey
take this one and that
should do it
How many of my questionairre/whatif
answers will get good awards? How many will get monkey butts?
well i don't know... that all depends how funny you people are
and if it is jcp or i doing it
I'll make this short
and sweet: You want in on my mass production and sales of dartboards
featuring madonna kissing britney? For no apparent reason, I feel
that you are entitled to at least 20%. FartMonkey
sure... unless i have to do any work
It's OCTOBER and
it's still 105 degrees here. Why? FartMonkey
oh big wahhhhh.... just live with it
So...do you enjoy
being beaten into submission? FartMonkey
sometimes yes i enjoy a damned good beating