Oct 6/03

So...what else can I bitch about? FartMonkey
birds... planets... leaves... the color pink

Did he so "generously" offer me a free slice of pizza because it was spiked? They said I was acting funny. So what if the unicorns keep eating the stupid exit signs? Ha! See if I care! I'm behind it all anyway! Mwuwahhahaa FartMonkey
i told you last time... either SHARE or SHUT UP about it...

So...IS she avoiding me? And I don't want the answer she's paid you to give me..I want the TRUTH. And to save a lot of messages back and forth, yes, I CAN handle the truth. FartMonkey
yes... damn we ALL are really... i just can't take the secrets anymore

I think my bladder tends to work a little too well sometimes. What do you think of this? McDiablo
i think that it's better then having it not work at all... then it would get backed up and come out your mouth and i can't imagine that tasting too good...

Miss Roger's Sweater seems to be too cool for you anymore. I mean, she's submersed herself in school and what not. What should I do? McDiablo
i suggest you take her out for a nice cold slurpee and try to reschedule her time more effectively...

What is with that grumpy guy at the 7-Eleven in Langley, British Columbia? McDiablo
he bought his underwear too tight but he hasn't quite firgured that out yet... so he just feels tense and takes it out on others...

If you were a raisin, would you A) Want to be a raisinet, or B) Be added to Outmeal? If A), would you be chocolate covered, or yogurt? If B) what other additives would you want with you? LT34
i would like to be added to oatmeal (but not to outmeal)... and no additives needed...

Who cut your hair?
my mommy... why... does some fancy 'hairdresser' do yours?

what would you do if you had the representatives of the lollypop kids hunting you down like an animal? you know of whom i speak, that nightmareish trio from Oz.--demonboy "_"
i would kill myself.. but only after years of running from them...

So i have shaved off a layer of hair(under my head,so if im not in the mood to be a freak i can cover it up)but im really tempted by blue die..i bought it even, i just cant work up courage to let it seepinto my skull and fuck with my hair.I already have 3 dyes in my hair ..nice bucket full of chemicals...i need more!but i hate people and there need to gawk and talk behind my back... fuck em..im diein my hair,,wow thanks i just solved my problem..i gues i should let you answer something though..and why not your opinion on this matter?thats what u usally do instead of answering peoples questions..i bet you got a big ego or a really low self esstem..the things go hand in hand.in sense of thinking about yourself to much.-PizzaMaker
there is stuff that you can use that washes out with water (right away)... it's in a tube... i have seen it and jcp has it... that way you can make it whatever color you want for that day, and just wash it out at night... as for the rest of your question i'm not sure if you're talking to me or yourself

then again i do have low self-esstem...if i had self estem and had self pride then i wouldnt care of peoples judgements..grrr..i hate myself now!..who the fuck cares.... do you?-pizzalady
i'm sure someone out there does

im so unhardcore, where is my instinctive teen rebelion?where has it left me?and Feeling you will adopt my necessity. My characteristic you aim at me.Morning to feel it in possiblity, that extremely warmly does by the fact you think of our wants?-PizaEatin(last one fucked up)
i think it's time for you to get some sleep or something... you're getting delirious

alicia isnt talking to me..is it because she hates me? i have a problem, i think she likes but i already have 4 other gf's..what should i do? God why does my mom have to get and go pee..its so damn annoying, she gets up and says..ur still on that damn thing?!..HELP ME!!! IM GOING INSANE!!!!!!
anytime you start to feel like this... just say to yourself over and over 'SHUT THE HELL UP'

Do you pay the person known as Fart Monkey to ask you questions to fill up this questions page? - Bill Clinton
if i were paying someone then i'd only pay for good questions... so therefore the answer to your question is a blindingly obvious NO

Do you ever get discriminated agaist because your really hairy? I do. Would it be gay if a went and got a full body wax this summer? I mean for crying out loud, I'm even growing hair on my ass now. Do u think most women would be more turned off by a) the fact that im incredibly hairy or b) the fact that im so self absorbed and insecure that i would actually have my entire body waxed? Do body waxing people even wax guy's asses? - Robin Williams
getting hair ripped off you doesn't make you 'gay'... and i'm sure they'll rip hair off any part of your body... since you're so famous, you should collect the hair and sell it on ebay... even just getting it thinned out would help in your case...

Is it safe to say that my mom had a mental breakdown today? McDiablo
yes... but not safe to say it to HER

What if I told you that I am going to try to abstain from drinking Slurpees....? McDiablo
i would say 'you LIE!'

So, is it about time for me to dig out the 'ol gloves again (and wear them even when I am typing on the computer)? McDiablo
i think so... either that or you begin the candle lighting...

Really, this is a question and im not bitching or anything i just really want to know. Why do the questionaire and what if results take so much time to put up, I mean its not like you guys have respond to them or anything like the questions? Its just a question please dont get cranky. - Chewbacca
well you see... in this world of ASP and databases... we here at theinsanedomain are not yet 'with it' enough to have it datadriven... so instead its all HTML... it takes about 2 hours just to do it all... sometimes neither of us will have time to do it for a few days... and then you have to wait...

could u please pass a message on for me? fart monkey, u try too hard. that is all. - Billy C
does this look like your personal message board? you can't even come up with a question? you suck

So...who's behind the new Good Question Award? FartMonkey
jcp is...

Tell me...what are your views on temporary tattoos? FartMonkey
don't be an idiot with them... if you can't figure out how i mean then you shouldn't be using them or driving a car

In art we're drawing absurdly big pictures from actual pictures found in magazines...I found this one of a monkey that looks like he's high, one of those with the orange eyes...would it be a good idea to draw, oh say, a lighter in one of its hands? paws? Do monkeys have hands or paws? Certainly not hooves..at least not on thursdays, that's for sure.. FartMonkey
we have paws... that are strangely shaped like hands... and make sure you send us a photo of it which of course you say you will but you won't

I need your advice to settle a dispute between my mother and I. My mission here is to make a pair of pants for myself from scratch out of duct tape, with some cheap fabric on the inside so it doesn't stick to me. She says why don't you just take some existing pants and duct tape over them? I said no, that's cheating. She said no, it isn't. I think deep down she knows I'm right. What do you think? FartMonkey
i think she's trying to save you the pain and anguish of trying to make the pants fit if you try to do it yourself... if you tape over the existing pants then you don't have to measure and fit everything... if you line both the outside and inside with duct tape... then i don't consider that cheating...

From Mzebonga's questionnaire answer which received both a monkey butt and a good award, I'm guessing that JCP was in charge of them this time? FartMonkey
your powers of observation astound me

Have you ever smelled burning flesh? I smelled my own burning flesh yesterday. I guess you can't have smelled YOUR burning flesh, since you don't really have flesh..do socks count as flesh? FartMonkey
i think i have but i don't recall exactly... and sometimes yes

What do I do if my own sister is the one stalking me?
once you've gathered enough evidence... you go tell mom/dad... if that doesn't work then begin operation 'take-down'

what do i do about my pain in the ass aunt who is staying with us? i have to sleep on the fucking floor cuz she took my room (she gets the entire room for herself cuz she's a grown lady who needs her own space) how do i tell her nicely to move her pathetic ass out of our house and get a life of her own?
you don't... you just start following her around and asking millions of questions until she leaves... or hide her stuff... or throw things at her... or sign her up for dating services

you never answered my question...HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!
very easily...

You know, I didn't want to go to that unsanitary chinese place anyway, but nooo, I can't make my own decisions, so they get me the opposite of what I ask for and when I try to pick out the nasty chicken bits they yell at me to JUST EAT IT! What shall I do to them? FartMonkey
ignore them... and then fling the chicken bits in their drinks when they're not looking

When I can't eat the humongous amounts of food they give me, they tell me that there are starving children in some country. Then I tell them that were the starving children here, I would give it to them. But they aren't. How very convenient that the famous "starving children" aren't in this country. Do you suppose it could all be an elaborate hoax? FartMonkey
so why do they give you so much? are they TRYING to waste food?

So...do you think ferretchick still likes him? If so, what should I do to unbrainwash her? FartMonkey
go ask dear abby... she likes stupid shit like that

You people work really hard on this site and I'd just like to tell you that despite the seemingly constant bitching and hate mail, we really appreciate it. FartMonkey
i told you already... no sleeping over this weekend... i don't care what you say... go tell jcp... maybe she'll have you over

Oct 9/03

Can you come up with 10 reasons why pink is so bad? - Mzebonga
1 it's pink 2 pink makes people do stupid things 3 pink probably made you ask this question 4 it's the name of some stupid chick apparently 5 marshmallow peeps 6 pink bows kill people 7 would you eat a pink salad? 8 i hate pink 9 i hate pink more then before i had to write this list 10 pink is a poor man's red

Can you list 10 rude words for us? - Mzebonga
yes i can... but i'm not going to... i've already given you a list today... you suck...

Why is it that some women can push their nipples together but I can't? - Mzebonga
you are obviously not pushing hard enough... use both your hands... and don't do it while lying down

Do you hate me? If so will you hate me less if I stop asking so many questions? FartMonkey
i don't hate you yet... and i'd like you if you sent me money in the mail... that'd be great

Are complex carbohydrates associated with external or internal lipid proteins?
in the universe that's layered on top of this one, the answer is ZeRaa

who dont care anymore, do you?-pizzaladies
nope

Um... last time i checked "can u please pass on a message for me?" is a question. Hence the the question mark at the end of the sentence. Don't you think that you should get your facts straight before you go haphazardly stinking up the place with your stinky monkey butts? - Bill Clinton
you still suck and i can give monkey butts to you all i want

dude...ur awesome...how can i be like u? - ryan
send me all your money and i'll send you my 'how to be dc' dvd

I really am trying to abstain from Slurpees...I'm not going to stop drinking them (the horror!), but I'm cutting down to having one a week. Do I have your support on this? McDiablo
sure thing... i wish you lots of luck... just make sure that one is the BIGGEST one

I like how the dino heads are now red AND green. What inspired you/the maker of the dino heads to do this? McDiablo
jcp did it and i'm not sure why... i do like them though

Is it safe to say that my cat is insane? McDiablo
completely

How can a teacher forget that they have a class to go to/teach? Is it because I am paying a large sum of money that they conveniently "forget"? McDiablo
if they don't show up... they shouldn't get paid... and they owe you the time...

Would you rather throw a paper ball or a dictionary? McDiablo
a dictionary

could one swim in a pool full of jello?
yes they could... if it were warm it'd be easy...

Will you ever go to www.timsfoo.com?WIll you? will you ?wilyou?NO MONEY FOR JOO !This in now MY personal MESSAGE BOARD ! Mine...www.grannypatroll.com is the site to be !My E-mail is papasmurf@hotmail.com MAIL ME ! OO OO I have aLOONG ares'd story ! onetime there was these guys at the store and they gave mne money and i took it and i spent it and i bought stuff and i talked to people and they said you're fatter than my mom and i said no and they said go to sleep so i went to sleep and then i went home and i got all this candy and panties and it was fun and after that i watched bat-man on the telleroonieand i t was cool and stuff and i kinda liked his big sexy nads hanging out his tightds that one tiime with all the mints you kno'whatdi'm sayin' ? Do you ? do oyu not? do you not do this ? do you like penis? dop you like anus? do you like lots of it? how 'bout now ? how about GOOG ? do you like that ? do you want a pair of fresh new cookies or maybe hairs ? not in your nostrills though, right ? how about now? No? yes it is ! Why not ? YOU WILL ANSWER THIS ! Where you an ugly baby? one last question. how? (i broke all the rules, but i got the goods. i have a Mr.bungle T-shir, Faith no more bumper sticker, 2 playstation 2s and leaf tickets.)
ok so where's the stuff? it better be on it's way... send it here

if pie is spelt p-i-e why is hi spelt h-i? can i have a stinky monkey butt award? am i annoying? am i now? now?? NOW?!?! im such a loser i wanna be cool like u....how come ur cool and im not ???? - ryan
it IS spelt pi... and there is a movie too... it's good...

Everytime I get online, its like my total I.Q. drops 50 points or so. It feels like my mental capacity is being sucked into the monitor and then the computer can then proceed to kick the shit out of me in any game I try to play. Is there some sort of conspiracy on-line to make people more asinine than they already were?? If so that would explain the amount of morons in the chat rooms...Harbinger
see you've got it all figured out already...

Do you think that if there is a hell, when someone goes to hell, can they make a deal with the devil to come back to Earth and try to corrupt everyone elses soul and bring it back to hell with them?? Harbinger
an ACTUAL hell? no... but your reality can be hell

Why do these fucking cats keep staring at me ?? Why do these mexicans keep staring at me?? Why does the internet keep trying to track me down?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Am I just paranoid?? Sorry for all of these questions in one but I had to let it all out.Harbinger
i hope you feel better.. and no you're not just being paranoid

holy shit i havent been here in a long time! i have to say that i missed u dc. very very much....i didn't realize u gave me 2 good answer awards.....thanx alot, i needed that for my shoddy level of self-esteem......one for the "worst movie thing" and one for the "worst nightmare" thing........thats so cool!! can i have another? irish psycho
fartmonkey has been trying to take up the slack... and if you're good then you'll get another... but that's how it always works isn't it

i asked this guy if i could fuck his dog and he said i wasn't good enough for his dog,,, and hes right. should i go rip his....rip him apart? irish psycho
if he's right then shouldn't you blame the dog?

why do you waste your time making a silly web site like this? prettyterri
you know i was just discussing this very thing with mzebonga today... and we came to the conclusion that it's better the running down animals in the street ... oh and that stupid people with stupid opinions used to think the world was flat... didn't make them right

almighty DC, I'm afraid that killer midget clowns have moved into the space under my bed and are now plotting to kill me and harvest my organs. What should I do? ~SilverJackal p.s. Can I touch your tail?r
well wouldn't you be more then happy to let them harvest your organs if you had touched my tail? i mean... after that, what else could life possibly have to offer? (yea that made me sick too... try to aim your puke over there)

Oct 12/03

HIIIIII!!!!!!!!! i am so so so so so so so happy tonight.....do u know y? do ya? do ya? do ya?!?!?! hehheheeeee i wanna be cool like u...but i know im not coooooool!!!!
you just reminded me that i had coffee to drink

No, I believe you are the one who sucks. I dont suck, I fucking rock man, ask anyone. An intern half my age gave me head in the oval office, the whole country found out and they still fucking loved me. How do u compare to that level of popularity DC? - Bill Clinton
well i know you don't... you have little interns to do all your sucking for you... you were just taking credit for all of HER work...

oh and fartmonkey seems to have shut up so its seems I've done a public service, wouldn't you agree? -Bill Clinton
i think that a great public service would be to remove all the stupid drivers from the streets...

who am i? what am i? where am i? when am i gonna die and how? why am i scary? why do i laugh when i look in the mirror? why? why? why?!?!? oh..i was just wondering..if u could teach me monkey sex? cause i have this hot new monkey gf..and i wanna fuck her...but...idk monkey sex..
you... that thing... over there... car wreck in 2011... the hair... your hair... and only if you pay me

I am semi-afraid of heights in that I can be up really high as long as I feel safe. What can I do to completely get over this fear? McDiablo
fling yourself from a cliff... sure you'd be dead but that'd fear be dealt with... then again... what would happen to emerald then? who would write me questions now that miss rogers sweater is planning for her future?

Miss Roger's Sweaters' teachers keep offering her "extra help". Are they really helpful, or do they just like her, uh, presence in their offices? McDiablo
they're turning her into a robot... go save her NOW

Why does my family not believe in turning the heater on when the house is really, really cold? McDiablo
this is part of their experiment ...

if god is a turtle does that mean satan is rabbit?
its the other way around... but then again it could also mean that god is just a part of a huge ill-concieved way to make humans stop thinking...

is there anything besides bread that ducks can eat?Bubs
actually i think the horrid reality is that ducks aren't to have bread at all... as for what they can eat... i can't help you

how long does it take for a duck to fly? Bubs
well i guess that depends on how quickly they flap their wings...

there was a duck wondering around the road by itself,u take it home and decide to keep it what do u do?should u take it back or just leave it? Sharon!
you leave it there... i've heard stories of ducks that appear to be lost but in fact are savage killer ducks that peck out your eyes and leave you for dead at the side of the road...

Have you ever collected candle smoke in a jar? Its quite fun... FartMonkey
no i haven't actually... i'll have to try that

If I drink a lot of molten wax (like homer and the insanity peppers) will it come out in the shape of my stomach/intestines/ wherever it hardened? FartMonkey
the only way to truly know is to try... i mean... if homer can do it... why can't we?

Once, when I was very young I thought I had a tail. I cared for it and fed it chocolate cake, though it was allergic to chocolate. Perhaps its died, because I've been turning in circles for days now and I cannot find little Benny (my tail). Have you the faintest clue where he might be? -ferretchick
this is a lesson you had to learn eventually... you have to figure out what you did wrong on your own or you'll never have a tail of your own again...

So anyways, there was this egg, right? But he didn't like me so lets forget about him. Its funny cuz he got eaten by a tiger. Tigers go rarr. So do lions. Lions have long hair. How do they keep their hair so clean and shiny without bathing or shampoo? Is shampoo merely a conspiracy to make us pay high prices for material found in nature? -ferretchick
they have special lion 'oils' that natrually keep it looking so nice... and the salavia of a mate... and shampoo is a hoax designed by the masterminds in sweden... how's THAT for neutral?

Blarmey, where are the fish? I could have sworn the fish were around here. Here fishy...oh...it must've been that damned orange cat! Where's the orange cat? *weeps* Aw hell, there she is. Oh wait, thats the brandy bottle, might as well take a few more swigs. Sho anywhays where muh orannnggeee kat?! *chokes on own vomit* -ferretchick
i think i need more coffee to even begin addressing this

This rat just climbed into your pocket. You pay me for rat. 5 dolla! Now! B-but I swear I didn't have anything to do with... No! YoU pay now me! Should people who live in America know how to make sentences? -ferretchick
should they? YES... do they? not always... sadly for those that can, the few speaking on behalf of them can not...

I have an alter ego who keeps atempting to take over my body. She's a bitc-no I'm not. Anyhow, so she's trying to take over my body and I've tried mentally bludgeoning-OW! -THWACK!- STOP IT!-her but I'm afraid I'm only hurting myself. Every time I try to talk to people she bluntly insults -DC IS A STUPID BASTAr- no! shut u- YOU SHUT UP - die, bitch, die!- them. They're my own thoughts, though now they're -YOu fucktard!- setting friends against me -YoU don't HAVE frien-yes I do! I SWEAR-. Any advice for -not- destroying evil alter egos? -ferret-stupid WHORE- Shut up! No! ferretchickEN
haha you said fucktard... oh well someone there did... anyways i'd suggest the 'fork in the eye' as punishment... sure it will hurt you too but it's very effective... you should have met my alter ego... oh wait... maybe you have....

Do you think we should legitimately sanction an official theInsaneDomain Majong Solitaire room? - Mzebonga
i think that'd be great... it sure would provide us with an ample stream of people to bother on chat

How come when you burn a tea candle, so the little metal thing keeps the melted wax from going anywhere, wouldn't it just melt and then re-harden? How come it makes the little crater? Where does the wax go? FartMonkey
siberia gets hit by large asteroids every once in awhile and you're worrying about wax? come on... how do you think siberia feels? how would you like to wake up each morning wondering if TODAY is THE DAY that your sorry ass being killed is front page news and a little blurb on yahoo news... it's horrifying i'm sure... so you just thank the universe that all you have to worry about is some wax that builds up in your lungs and will eventually kill you in your sleep...

Alright, DC. I have a couple questions lined up for you. Ready, Freddy? 'Kay then. You have said time and time again that your mother created you as well as your other sock monkey amigos. Does this mean that they're all actually your siblings? If so, why are you selling them? Isn't there some sort of unwritten rule that you can't sell your sibling(s)? I was always told there was. While we're on the subject of your mother and you I'll go ahead and ask the other main question. Tell me, DC, does she know? You know what I'm talking about, your..other..career. Does she know about your dabbles in the world of porn? If so, how does she feel? Have you ever been so bold as to actually show her? I'm interested in how open minded your mother is. I can't imagine what it'd be like to know my son takes pictures of having his tail played with and posts them on the web! Enlighten me, DC. - Kitten
yes they are (you're so smart)... i'm selling them because it's time they moved out.. no there isn't if you're not human (ever been in a pet store?) and my mom thinks i am just into 'photography'... so she knows not of the pictures... but i'm sure she'd be proud... i just haven't told her cuz then she'd tell my grandma and having my grandma looking at me playing with my tail isn't something that i'd like to have happen

Last night, I was subjected to racial slurs--this woman was saying negative things about white people on the Skytrain. I hope this hasn't happened to you, DC, but has it? What did you do to avoid yelling/punching/murdering that person? McDiablo
it's very shitty to hear someone's stupid opinion on matters such as those... it would feel very good to do that sort of thing to them... however somehow that isn't viewed as an 'ok' thing since the stupid people are still running most of the show... so you did good by simply killing them repeatedly in your head and vowing to push them in front of the train if you can make it look like an accident...

What is your favourite sport to watch? McDiablo
hockey of course....

My mom is making turkey dinner right now and about 30 minutes ago she yelled, "Ahhh, damn turkey!!" What did it do to her?? McDiablo
it farted! oh that's just too funny! stop it!

sorry about the french story i was boerd.the story is 87.98% original. i read an artical and it made me laugh, made a story out of it. the questions are lagit but they are the same questions that the keeper of the bridge askd king arthur in "monty python's quest for the holy grail" (good movie) im really going down hill with no brakes as far as the questions go arent i? i blame t.v. ive been watching too much t.v.--db"_"
tv is starting to not make any real sense... i mean... what is the real point of it all?

DC, my kid brother is in love with britney spears <gags> and he insists that fish are better than sock monkeys..should i kill him, maim him, let him be, or torment him as he sleeps? SilverJackal
he's tormenting himself already... i mean... HER? just sad... give it a bit and you'll be able to rub his affection for her in his face when he snaps out of it and goes onto whatever the tv says the next fake smile to admire is... get him on tape professing his love... that will also come in handy later... and then beat him up just once

Oct 12/03

It's good to know you'd have her support, DC. I'm not sure about your grandmother though, perhaps she has some skeletons in her closet as well? Oooo..there's some nice mental imagery for you! Oh yes, about the pet store: That's true but remember, the pets don't sell eachother. They simply have to lay in their cedar/recycled paper bedding and try to deal with the every day experience of seeing their siblings bought, knowing that they're on their way to an untimely death by the hands of a snotty child. I had a hamster once, I made the misfortunate decision to give it to my cousin. Poor Teddy escaped one day and came into the midst of her younger sister, he was squeezed to a bloody pulp. This has always been a huge weight on my shoulders but I now feel as though some of the weight has been lifted with this confession. Thank you, DC, send me the bill and I'll pay in nickels. Oh yes, although there's a question hidden in this babble somewhere, I'll ask another: What are your views on Dixie Cups and their every day use as objects of self sexual gratification? - Kitten
i'm glad you feel better letting that all out... and it's too bad about the pets in pet stores, as there are many cases where they are not taken care of etc... it's best to find a local 'pet rescue' and adopt from there... my views on dixie cups are not sexual and for those who do find them sexual... well that's a problem right there but a much better problem then ripping the crotches out of roadkill and having sex with them

Where did santa claus originate from?
some fat crazy guy that used to give kids gifts and until they started finding body parts nicely wrapped in boxes, everyone thought it was a good idea...

What about Lumbini? Lumbini is a stupid and therefore suitable Majong Room... Should we nominate Lumbini? I can't stop saying Lumbini. Lumbini. Lumbini. Lumbini. Lumbini. Lumbini.
that is true... and that word is so addicting... lumbini... lumbini.... lumBINI

DC, have you ever had the urge to just stab out a neighbor's eyes with a stick and use them as a decoration in your car (much like fuzzy dice)? BlueRaven
oh yes... many many times...

does bieng a hooker who smokes crack automatically make you a crack-whore or do u have to turn tricks in exchange for crack? Editor in Chief - Crack whore Magazine
i would say that both qualify you, however the bigger crack-whore would be the one who exchanges sex directly for crack

Is a loan shark the person who lends you large sums of money with grossly unreasonable interest rates and then gets someone to brake your knee caps if you dont pay OR is the loan shark that big guy that comes around and brakes your legs beacuse you havent payed the other guy? I think its the first one but my freind seems to think that its the second guy. My friend is obviosly a moron isn't he?
the loan shark is the person who lent you the money and the guy (or girl) who comes around to kick your ass is the 'grunt' or 'enforcer'

why does my boss is playing games with my records? do they actually train these people to make their staff miserable before getting any promotion or a praise at all??? -deserv5
it sounds like you work where i used to... do you have to wear a blue shirt? anyways... yes... many companies are like that which sucks a lot

why when i felt sooo fuckin stressed i feel like suicide's the best answer? is it the best solution? why does people actually bother to stop me from doing so? and right after i said 'okay guys, i wont do it.' they would ignore me all over again and wouldn't give shit abt me??? are they looking attention for themself from my misery?
when it comes to sucicide, there are very few who actually have any sort of justification for doing so... say you had cancer and you have a month to live in horrible screaming agony... then i would say it's allowed... if you are under the age of 25 and just feel shitty cuz everyone around you sucks, then no i don't think it's justified cuz that's just the way life is like during those times... i say you stop the 'no one gives a shit' thing and do something productive with your time... go volunteer at the local humane society or something... the kitties and dogs give a shit...

drugs gonna make me look sickeningly sick and i dont want to die that way. coughing-sputtering blood allover due to bad lungs is more like it! but then why i cant get high or chest pain when i smoke anymore??? -deserv5
are you sure you know what you're smoking? it's not oregeno is it? if you want to cough up blood then smoke normal cigarettes... and if you want lung pain then go inhale some fibreglass insulation

What are the chances that I'll be getting a Slurpee tonight (Yes, I am still trying to drink less of them)? McDiablo
pretty good actually

What are you planning on doing this Hallowe'en? Are you planning on dressing up? McDiablo
hey look... yours has a funny ' in it... and i'm not sure yet... i heard rumors of a party but i'm not sure yet

I am addicted to licorice right now. Are you addicted to any food/drugs at the moment? McDiablo
COFFEE/CAFFEINE

I want to bite your neck, why is that?
i have a nice neck to bite... go on

Why do assholes make porn viruses that convert your regular homepage into a porn site and insert about fifteen various pornsites into your favorites. How the hell is this supposed to encourage me to subscribe? I mean what moron came up with this advertising strategy, all its gonna do is piss me off... and if i don't fix it quickly, get me fired. Why would that make me want to give them my bussiness? - Bill Clinton
you know... that i'm not sure of... sometimes people are paid by the hit... but to be honest i don't know why the porn freaks or spammers do what they do... obviously someone out there is falling for the shit and spam enough to make it effective... i truly hate that shit too though and everyone who does it should be beaten

why does everyone have to annoy me?? and ..y does everyone have to hate me?? i wanna be a sock monkey...its my goal...how do i become a sock monkey...or is it not possible?? i need help! help me!!!!
people are annoying... thats the way they are... the more of them in a group, the more annoying they are... and you have to gather enough socks and stuffing to become one...

Why do people enjoy staring into giant holes in the ground? They're pretty much all the same...-ferretchick
are you SURE?

If you had a choice between living forever or being the soul survivor of a deadly plague on earth, which would you choose? -ferretchick
both would suck a whole lot... at least if i were just a survivor i could eventually die and finally leave the planet... then again if i lived forever i could wait until the stupid humans move off the planet (if they ever do) and i can just fly away in my own spaceship and see the universe...

So wait...there IS no Santa Clause?! -ferretchick
nope... and no santa claus either

Do sunglasses make you more intimidating or just dumb looking? -ferretchick
me? more intimidating... but for many others, it just looks dumb

What would you do if i said, "I HATE CANADIAN MONKEYS !" ?
i'd have to throw things

If i used a butt-plug that was 8' and later used one that was 7', how wide is my anus ?
how long have you been using them for? do they stay in long? does your anus retain its width after removing the plug or do you have a young anus that snaps shut after the plug is removed?

If you only had 50$ and you had the choice between a hot steaming pile of monkey and ultra-thick shoe, which one would you give your last pair of doritos to ?-LB
the hot steaming pile of monkey.. you just can't beat that

where is the jade monkey?
i'd love to tell you but NO

Do you guys ever actually laugh out loud at any of the questions or the what if responses ect, or are u pretty much over it all? - Condoman
if it gets a good question award, the odds are i either smiled at it or really did laugh out loud at it...

Do you know who David Beckham is? - Condoman
is he that guy with the green lab coat that is always making me do stupid things like go through mazes to find cheese and jump rope?

The eye picture next to the Interviews link...a random eye, or somebody of relevance's? FartMonkey
it's a random eye... does it look familiar to you? maybe one of yours that ran away?

Is okay to shave a sock monkey? -Keith
only if it asks you to do so when it's not drunk

Why all the violence, DC? You seem to have a pent up rage problem. I'd be more than willing to let you take it out on me, if you liked.
yea? i'd like that

Oct 19/03

How do all the clows in the circus fit in that damn small car ? I mean it'ss crazy, like they're all big and the car is like all small, it doesn't make sense !HaaaaAHahahahAAEWErrrg.... sorry , hurt my head on that one.- wEEly
it's a magic car... i had one once but it gets really hard to tell when you're alone and i don't like those sort of surprises

I used to get good question awards back in the day for the most god awful questions. Keep in mind, this was before I went by this alias. Anyhow, why are the good question awards so scarce now? Have they become a prestigious honor? I miss the donkey pinata, bring it back. Come on, just this once? I'll make you a fresh pot of coffee as I rub your tail. - Kitten
they are indeed harder to get now... maybe i've grown older and more bitter... maybe it has something to do with the rings around saturn... and i'm sorry but the pinata is retired forever... he was found beaten to death after a childs birthday party... it was horrible...

You knew the Lumbini question was me, didn't you? And what is the plural of Anus? Is it Anuses or Ani? - Mzebonga
oh yes i did... i just didn't want to put your name cuz i'm selfish like that... and i truly don't know... you should look that up and also ask your friends and family if they know...

If I was standing infront of a mountain, would it be quicker to walk round it or go over it? Bearing in mind, the mountain is the same in height as it is in diemeter - the cheese maker x
it'd be easier for you to use a teleporter... those things really help out in situations such as those...

DC, i've got a problem with my neighbor's dog. it's always barking in the middle of the night. i asked him (the neighbor) to please shut his dog up because it's annoying. he didnt do anything, then i asked the dog to stop and it ignored me. now i have the urge to do something very nasty (i shall not say what it is) to both the dog and my idiot neighbor. what should i do? BlueRaven
phone the cops and tell them... phone every night this happens... and if that doesn't work then rent an elephant and have it do that thing it does all night... also have it shit on their lawn... maybe even onto the dog directly...

ok, i have a aqestion you'll probably make fun of, but im going to ask it anyway. if wolves (and other creatures of the canine persuasion) bark and howl at the moon, do lions (and others of the feline persuasion) hiss and meow at the sun? SilverJackal
well it's not that bad... and felines are friends with the moon... they don't need to hiss or anything at it...

When I get wasted in candyland, howcome I always end up with a board over my head?
it's the sugar they're using... happens to me too

Does masturbation really cause blindness? -evil tinkerbell
only if you are doing something horribly wrong

DC, i was coming out of a store the other day, and some creepy old guy threw (literally) a new testament pocket bible at me and hit me in the back. he then proceded to scream at me that i am going to be eternally damned to hell unless i repent. i screamed back "repent this, you fucking bible monger!" and threw the bible back at him, smacking him in the head with it. was this right or should i have ignored him? SilverJackal
you did the right thing... when he threw that at you he forfeited his right to be treated decently... you also showed restraint in leaving after that, which is very important... good job

Hey, i've been wondering, why is it that people who are "white" wear "Du rags" ? I was almost sure that they were used a long time ago to keep shit oouut of your "corn rows" or whatever. Now you see Jason"Fiddy Gs" Jackson walking down the street wearng a Negro hair protecter. What's up with that ? -Off
after 'hey i've been wondering' none of it made sense to me... du rags? fiddy gs? uh huh

It has be pouring down rain for two days. Is this cloud suffering from PMS or what? McDiablo
must be the same cloud as over here... stupid pms clouds

My cat went to the vet last week and the vetinarian said she was so good compared to other cats who come in for appointments. She would let him open her mouth and feel her intestines (wonderful). She didn't even flinch. Does she like to suck up to vets or what? McDiablo
oh yes... she just wants treats so GIVE already

"My uterus is leaking." Why did I laugh when I read this? McDiablo
because you're a sick and twisted chick... that's why we like you here at theinsanedomain

How far away from a plate is that last platipus on the giant wok ?
3 feet

i like a girl. i am a boy. when do i noe she like me and ask her out? do u have visible nostrils?
could be due to your bad breath... and leave my nostrils alone

At the Grand Canyon there are these evil little squirrels that climb the rocks like nothing and attack a person holding a(n) <Insert Random Food Item>. The person then says "Aw, how cute, that squirrel just attacked me!" This is all true and not just some made up bullshit. Anyways, we build an army of super squirrels, perhaps robotic, and give them each little green helmets so we know which ones are ours. Then we release them in the Grand Canyon area to infect everyone with rabies and bring us back their valuables. Of course we'd be immune to their squirrel viruses unlike the rest of the general population. Perhaps we could try pigeons too, but squirrels are so much cuter. "Oh how cute, that little squirrel attacked m--AHH! IT'S GOING FOR THE JUGULAR! NO! WE DON'T BITE THA------" *thud* Can't you see the beauty of it all now? You in? -ferretchick
oh i'm in...

I'm bored, will you help me break into a maximum security prison? ~ Natasha
sure thing let's go

how many more tatoos should i get?
depends on if you're getting cool ones or not

u did i break my leg going down a ramp on a bike?
sure thing there skipper

yea.. never thought bout them kittens and dogs.. wow DC u'r a great! and yes my buddies sucks!! hahahahahaha ( i hope ya'all reading this!! ) time to moves on with mah nu life! btw, you still look smug in that shades DC, but now you're cool lookin smug!
i accept thank you presents...

I appreciate that you and your colleagues have provided a long list of the various ways that people suck but, what I'm wondering is just how hard everybody sucks and how we go about measuring the sucking force. If we could measure the intensity of sucking and create a sort of scatter-plot to detect patterns, perhaps we could issue public warnings along with weather reports, much as we do with smog or pollen alerts. People with acute sensitivities to sucking, such as ourselves, should be medically excused from work under strong sucking conditions. Do the researchers at The Insane Domain have any theories or findings on this particular aspect of Suckology? Thank you Dr. DC. - Dr. Enfante Terrible, Department Chief of Research Suckology at The Institute For Pessimystic Studies
we've been working on this for quite some time now... after many arguments and pointing of fingers... it was determined that fingers pointed into eyeballs hurt and went home to cry for a little while... since then... progress has been made in obtaining foam fingers to point with and therefore reduce the risk of injury... we have some graphs that will hopefully explain the rest of it to us...

Wouldn't it be cool if we could take one huge long string and tie it all the way around the planet? And then we could make people in different countries hold onto it and babble some garbage about unity and then set it on fire? Actually that would require too much effort, let's just go torch some villages. FartMonkey
no no... torch the cities... the fire looks more interesting coming out of city buildings

How do you make them go away? FartMonkey
i scream... and scream... and scream...

There's a dud bird egg thats been sitting on the ground outside my window for some time now. I had a dream about it last night. It hatched the skeleton of a doberman and it was chasing me. That was scary. When's the last time you changed your sheets? FartMonkey
eat the egg and last week actually.. i got this thing called a bed frame and now my bed is off the floor... it's the strangest thing...

What's this key for? FartMonkey
for that thing... see it? yea that thing

if a horse dies and then comes back to life,would it take a piss or take a shit first.
a shit...

Oct 22/03

if pikachu is a mouse and squirrels infest the universe then why don't all of the mice zap the squirrels and take over?thatthingguywhois
the cats will not allow this sort of thing to happen... they have other things they're all working on

why isnt liz perverted? i try to make her perverted but she just wont become perverted!! i am getting mad now! .. oh..and why does amy hate me...and y does she get moods with me?? - ryan
maybe liz is just not that kind of twisted person like the rest of us... which is fine... who the hell are you to boss everyone around? and amy hates you because you are selfish... hence the moods... so shape up

why do spiders have eight legs? BlueRaven
6 would just be wrong

DC, is it okay to say "go away and leave me the hell alone you insignificant little spec..ask your fucking mom to paint your face up" to your neighbor kid when they wont leave you alone about helping them with halloween face paint, even though you told them you will not be home for halloween? SilverJackal
am i getting deja view? memories of 'insignificant little specs'... ? hmmmm.... grandma? is that you?

My parents are watching baseball. They never watch baseball. What's going on here? McDiablo
they're trying to bore you so that you'll leave the room

"What's he talking into his glove for?" asks my mom. McDiablo
thats where the pet ants are kept warm for the winter... he's talking to them to see if they're ok

I think the United Kingdom has even worse reality TV shows compared to what they show here. Did you even think that'd be possible? McDiablo
they ARE? i'm in complete shock... i thought it had gotten as bad as it could already

If I went for a walk and got lost in the middle of nowhere,how would I find myself on a map? - the cheese maker x
look for the 'you are here' sticker

why does it burn when i piss
there is something horribly wrong with you and that is just a warning sign

Since around 1995, with the release of the Lion King, the song 'I have a lovely bunch of cocunuts...' has beeen aroused in many poeples minds'. But, when the little birdie is singing the song for the bad lion guy he gets interupted right after ' some the size of your head.' What I, and many other people are wondering, what is the rest of the song. I know there is more to it because I've heard it once before, back in the day of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Atari ran rampant in the fields of children's imaginations. Thank you for any assistance you may be to my small, semi-piontless quest.
what the HELL? i go to yahoo and punch in 'I have a lovely bunch of cocunuts...' wait a minute... why are you watching the lion king?... i actually have no idea what the rest is... or if there is a rest... how about instead of watching the lion king, you go see what other strange sentences bring up this website in yahoo...

do you think i could do a payment plan on $15? I could give 1 dollar and 25 cents a month. give 30 days to accomplish $1.25 i think it would work out.
i say you get a jar and put the money in there until you have enough... then send the money and the jar to us

i'm thinking of changing my name to "your illegitimate child" what do u think? irish psycho
i think it's disturbing... so go ahead

Why must they torture me so?! x-y+ the hypoteneuse of a square? How's that going to help me in life?! Curse standardized testing. Is this going to evolve into another thing to form a rebellion against like tea taxes? Or perhaps just an angry mob?-ferretchick
all of the above + 4

Toys in the attic? -ferretchick
damn straight... oh wait... who told you?

Now wait...let me get this straight. I actually met the stereotypical "I could have bought 5 pairs of shoes for the price of that bracelet" female. Now is suicide an option? -ferretchick
no... but i do suggest you go 'fight club' on her ass

If you were a hippo and had three lives, what would you do during each life? Please explain in excruciating detail. -ferretchick
1... eat and chew until i died from eating and chewing too much... 2...eat plastic explosives and explode into little bits... 3... take over the planet ... and i'm not telling you the details of that cuz it's MY plan

I have come to the conclusion that my thoughts are far too pure. What can ... nay what MUST I do about this?
masturbate more often

Can you make it go faster? Can you make it go backwards?
yes... and sometimes

What's the fastest way to get to "x"? (with "x" being any destination you wish)
some people would say train... but i'm not much of a train supporter... too many horns... so i'd have to say light speed... it's quick... cheap... and a time saver...

why do you do this, do u have lots of free time!?!?!?!?
it's what keeps me going... you people are like a family to me... why don't you all come over for the next holiday and we'll fight and bitch... then we'll eat and drink and puke in the streets... then we'd never need this website again... it'd just be me and all of you and we'd be so unhappy but we'd be together... just like the good old days on the website and what ever happened with that? well i had all you people to deal with so i couldn't update it anymore so maybe i really do this to stop you people from coming and living with me and making me hate you even more...

Main : Articles : Lists : Interviews : Stories : Questionnaire : Killing the Sims : Insane Q&A :
: About Us : FAQs : New & Updated :

*This site contains material that is intended to offend some viewers. Viewer discrection is advised.*
All content (c)TheInsaneDomain & respective writers. SPREADING INSANITY SINCE 1996!