So...what else can
I bitch about? FartMonkey
birds... planets... leaves... the color pink
Did he so "generously"
offer me a free slice of pizza because it was spiked? They said
I was acting funny. So what if the unicorns keep eating the stupid
exit signs? Ha! See if I care! I'm behind it all anyway! Mwuwahhahaa
i told you last time... either SHARE or SHUT UP about it...
So...IS she avoiding
me? And I don't want the answer she's paid you to give me..I want
the TRUTH. And to save a lot of messages back and forth, yes,
I CAN handle the truth. FartMonkey
yes... damn we ALL are really... i just can't take the secrets
I think my bladder
tends to work a little too well sometimes. What do you think of
i think that it's better then having it not work at all... then
it would get backed up and come out your mouth and i can't imagine
that tasting too good...
Miss Roger's Sweater
seems to be too cool for you anymore. I mean, she's submersed
herself in school and what not. What should I do? McDiablo
i suggest you take her out for a nice cold slurpee and try to
reschedule her time more effectively...
What is with that
grumpy guy at the 7-Eleven in Langley, British Columbia? McDiablo
he bought his underwear too tight but he hasn't quite firgured
that out yet... so he just feels tense and takes it out on others...
If you were a raisin,
would you A) Want to be a raisinet, or B) Be added to Outmeal?
If A), would you be chocolate covered, or yogurt? If B) what other
additives would you want with you? LT34
i would like to be added to oatmeal (but not to outmeal)... and
no additives needed...
Who cut your hair?
my mommy... why... does some fancy 'hairdresser' do yours?
what would you do
if you had the representatives of the lollypop kids hunting you
down like an animal? you know of whom i speak, that nightmareish
trio from Oz.--demonboy "_"
i would kill myself.. but only after years of running from them...
So i have shaved
off a layer of hair(under my head,so if im not in the mood to
be a freak i can cover it up)but im really tempted by blue die..i
bought it even, i just cant work up courage to let it seepinto
my skull and fuck with my hair.I already have 3 dyes in my hair
..nice bucket full of chemicals...i need more!but i hate people
and there need to gawk and talk behind my back... fuck em..im
diein my hair,,wow thanks i just solved my problem..i gues i should
let you answer something though..and why not your opinion on this
matter?thats what u usally do instead of answering peoples questions..i
bet you got a big ego or a really low self esstem..the things
go hand in hand.in sense of thinking about yourself to much.-PizzaMaker
there is stuff that you can use that washes out with water (right
away)... it's in a tube... i have seen it and jcp has it... that
way you can make it whatever color you want for that day, and
just wash it out at night... as for the rest of your question
i'm not sure if you're talking to me or yourself
then again i do have
low self-esstem...if i had self estem and had self pride then
i wouldnt care of peoples judgements..grrr..i hate myself now!..who
the fuck cares.... do you?-pizzalady
i'm sure someone out there does
im so unhardcore,
where is my instinctive teen rebelion?where has it left me?and
Feeling you will adopt my necessity. My characteristic you aim
at me.Morning to feel it in possiblity, that extremely warmly
does by the fact you think of our wants?-PizaEatin(last one fucked
i think it's time for you to get some sleep or something... you're
alicia isnt talking
to me..is it because she hates me? i have a problem, i think she
likes but i already have 4 other gf's..what should i do? God why
does my mom have to get and go pee..its so damn annoying, she
gets up and says..ur still on that damn thing?!..HELP ME!!! IM
anytime you start to feel like this... just say to yourself over
and over 'SHUT THE HELL UP'
Do you pay the person
known as Fart Monkey to ask you questions to fill up this questions
page? - Bill Clinton
if i were paying someone then i'd only pay for good questions...
so therefore the answer to your question is a blindingly obvious
Do you ever get discriminated
agaist because your really hairy? I do. Would it be gay if a went
and got a full body wax this summer? I mean for crying out loud,
I'm even growing hair on my ass now. Do u think most women would
be more turned off by a) the fact that im incredibly hairy or
b) the fact that im so self absorbed and insecure that i would
actually have my entire body waxed? Do body waxing people even
wax guy's asses? - Robin Williams
getting hair ripped off you doesn't make you 'gay'... and i'm
sure they'll rip hair off any part of your body... since you're
so famous, you should collect the hair and sell it on ebay...
even just getting it thinned out would help in your case...
Is it safe to say
that my mom had a mental breakdown today? McDiablo
yes... but not safe to say it to HER
What if I told you
that I am going to try to abstain from drinking Slurpees....?
i would say 'you LIE!'
So, is it about time
for me to dig out the 'ol gloves again (and wear them even when
I am typing on the computer)? McDiablo
i think so... either that or you begin the candle lighting...
Really, this is a
question and im not bitching or anything i just really want to
know. Why do the questionaire and what if results take so much
time to put up, I mean its not like you guys have respond to them
or anything like the questions? Its just a question please dont
get cranky. - Chewbacca
well you see... in this world of ASP and databases... we here
at theinsanedomain are not yet 'with it' enough to have it datadriven...
so instead its all HTML... it takes about 2 hours just to do it
all... sometimes neither of us will have time to do it for a few
days... and then you have to wait...
u please pass a message on for me? fart monkey, u try too hard.
that is all. - Billy C
does this look like your personal message board? you can't even
come up with a question? you suck
the new Good Question Award? FartMonkey
Tell me...what are
your views on temporary tattoos? FartMonkey
don't be an idiot with them... if you can't figure out how i mean
then you shouldn't be using them or driving a car
In art we're drawing
absurdly big pictures from actual pictures found in magazines...I
found this one of a monkey that looks like he's high, one of those
with the orange eyes...would it be a good idea to draw, oh say,
a lighter in one of its hands? paws? Do monkeys have hands or
paws? Certainly not hooves..at least not on thursdays, that's
for sure.. FartMonkey
we have paws... that are strangely shaped like hands... and make
sure you send us a photo of it which of course you say you will
but you won't
I need your advice
to settle a dispute between my mother and I. My mission here is
to make a pair of pants for myself from scratch out of duct tape,
with some cheap fabric on the inside so it doesn't stick to me.
She says why don't you just take some existing pants and duct
tape over them? I said no, that's cheating. She said no, it isn't.
I think deep down she knows I'm right. What do you think? FartMonkey
i think she's trying to save you the pain and anguish of trying
to make the pants fit if you try to do it yourself... if you tape
over the existing pants then you don't have to measure and fit
everything... if you line both the outside and inside with duct
tape... then i don't consider that cheating...
From Mzebonga's questionnaire
answer which received both a monkey butt and a good award, I'm
guessing that JCP was in charge of them this time? FartMonkey
your powers of observation astound me
Have you ever smelled
burning flesh? I smelled my own burning flesh yesterday. I guess
you can't have smelled YOUR burning flesh, since you don't really
have flesh..do socks count as flesh? FartMonkey
i think i have but i don't recall exactly... and sometimes yes
What do I do if my
own sister is the one stalking me?
once you've gathered enough evidence... you go tell mom/dad...
if that doesn't work then begin operation 'take-down'
what do i do about
my pain in the ass aunt who is staying with us? i have to sleep
on the fucking floor cuz she took my room (she gets the entire
room for herself cuz she's a grown lady who needs her own space)
how do i tell her nicely to move her pathetic ass out of our house
and get a life of her own?
you don't... you just start following her around and asking millions
of questions until she leaves... or hide her stuff... or throw
things at her... or sign her up for dating services
you never answered
my question...HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!
You know, I didn't
want to go to that unsanitary chinese place anyway, but nooo,
I can't make my own decisions, so they get me the opposite of
what I ask for and when I try to pick out the nasty chicken bits
they yell at me to JUST EAT IT! What shall I do to them? FartMonkey
ignore them... and then fling the chicken bits in their drinks
when they're not looking
When I can't eat
the humongous amounts of food they give me, they tell me that
there are starving children in some country. Then I tell them
that were the starving children here, I would give it to them.
But they aren't. How very convenient that the famous "starving
children" aren't in this country. Do you suppose it could
all be an elaborate hoax? FartMonkey
so why do they give you so much? are they TRYING to waste food?
So...do you think
ferretchick still likes him? If so, what should I do to unbrainwash
go ask dear abby... she likes stupid shit like that
You people work really
hard on this site and I'd just like to tell you that despite the
seemingly constant bitching and hate mail, we really appreciate
i told you already... no sleeping over this weekend... i don't
care what you say... go tell jcp... maybe she'll have you over
Can you come up with
10 reasons why pink is so bad? - Mzebonga
1 it's pink 2 pink makes people do stupid things 3 pink probably
made you ask this question 4 it's the name of some stupid chick
apparently 5 marshmallow peeps 6 pink bows kill people 7 would
you eat a pink salad? 8 i hate pink 9 i hate pink more then before
i had to write this list 10 pink is a poor man's red
Can you list 10 rude
words for us? - Mzebonga
yes i can... but i'm not going to... i've already given you a
list today... you suck...
Why is it that some
women can push their nipples together but I can't? - Mzebonga
you are obviously not pushing hard enough... use both your hands...
and don't do it while lying down
Do you hate me? If
so will you hate me less if I stop asking so many questions? FartMonkey
i don't hate you yet... and i'd like you if you sent me money
in the mail... that'd be great
Are complex carbohydrates
associated with external or internal lipid proteins?
in the universe that's layered on top of this one, the answer
who dont care anymore,
last time i checked "can u please pass on a message for me?"
is a question. Hence the the question mark at the end of the sentence.
Don't you think that you should get your facts straight before
you go haphazardly stinking up the place with your stinky monkey
butts? - Bill Clinton
you still suck and i can give monkey butts to you all i want
can i be like u? - ryan
send me all your money and i'll send you my 'how to be dc' dvd
I really am trying
to abstain from Slurpees...I'm not going to stop drinking them
(the horror!), but I'm cutting down to having one a week. Do I
have your support on this? McDiablo
sure thing... i wish you lots of luck... just make sure that one
is the BIGGEST one
I like how the dino
heads are now red AND green. What inspired you/the maker of the
dino heads to do this? McDiablo
jcp did it and i'm not sure why... i do like them though
Is it safe to say
that my cat is insane? McDiablo
How can a teacher
forget that they have a class to go to/teach? Is it because I
am paying a large sum of money that they conveniently "forget"?
if they don't show up... they shouldn't get paid... and they owe
you the time...
Would you rather
throw a paper ball or a dictionary? McDiablo
could one swim in
a pool full of jello?
yes they could... if it were warm it'd be easy...
Will you ever go
to www.timsfoo.com?WIll you? will you ?wilyou?NO MONEY FOR JOO
!This in now MY personal MESSAGE BOARD ! Mine...www.grannypatroll.com
is the site to be !My E-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org MAIL ME
! OO OO I have aLOONG ares'd story ! onetime there was these guys
at the store and they gave mne money and i took it and i spent
it and i bought stuff and i talked to people and they said you're
fatter than my mom and i said no and they said go to sleep so
i went to sleep and then i went home and i got all this candy
and panties and it was fun and after that i watched bat-man on
the telleroonieand i t was cool and stuff and i kinda liked his
big sexy nads hanging out his tightds that one tiime with all
the mints you kno'whatdi'm sayin' ? Do you ? do oyu not? do you
not do this ? do you like penis? dop you like anus? do you like
lots of it? how 'bout now ? how about GOOG ? do you like that
? do you want a pair of fresh new cookies or maybe hairs ? not
in your nostrills though, right ? how about now? No? yes it is
! Why not ? YOU WILL ANSWER THIS ! Where you an ugly baby? one
last question. how? (i broke all the rules, but i got the goods.
i have a Mr.bungle T-shir, Faith no more bumper sticker, 2 playstation
2s and leaf tickets.)
ok so where's the stuff? it better be on it's way... send
if pie is spelt p-i-e
why is hi spelt h-i? can i have a stinky monkey butt award? am
i annoying? am i now? now?? NOW?!?! im such a loser i wanna be
cool like u....how come ur cool and im not ???? - ryan
it IS spelt pi... and there is a movie too... it's good...
Everytime I get online,
its like my total I.Q. drops 50 points or so. It feels like my
mental capacity is being sucked into the monitor and then the
computer can then proceed to kick the shit out of me in any game
I try to play. Is there some sort of conspiracy on-line to make
people more asinine than they already were?? If so that would
explain the amount of morons in the chat rooms...Harbinger
see you've got it all figured out already...
Do you think that
if there is a hell, when someone goes to hell, can they make a
deal with the devil to come back to Earth and try to corrupt everyone
elses soul and bring it back to hell with them?? Harbinger
an ACTUAL hell? no... but your reality can be hell
Why do these fucking
cats keep staring at me ?? Why do these mexicans keep staring
at me?? Why does the internet keep trying to track me down?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Am I just paranoid?? Sorry for all of these questions in one but
I had to let it all out.Harbinger
i hope you feel better.. and no you're not just being paranoid
holy shit i havent
been here in a long time! i have to say that i missed u dc. very
very much....i didn't realize u gave me 2 good answer awards.....thanx
alot, i needed that for my shoddy level of self-esteem......one
for the "worst movie thing" and one for the "worst
nightmare" thing........thats so cool!! can i have another?
fartmonkey has been trying to take up the slack... and if you're
good then you'll get another... but that's how it always works
i asked this guy
if i could fuck his dog and he said i wasn't good enough for his
dog,,, and hes right. should i go rip his....rip him apart? irish
if he's right then shouldn't you blame the dog?
why do you waste
your time making a silly web site like this? prettyterri
you know i was just discussing this very thing with mzebonga today...
and we came to the conclusion that it's better the running down
animals in the street ... oh and that stupid people with stupid
opinions used to think the world was flat... didn't make them
almighty DC, I'm
afraid that killer midget clowns have moved into the space under
my bed and are now plotting to kill me and harvest my organs.
What should I do? ~SilverJackal p.s. Can I touch your tail?r
well wouldn't you be more then happy to let them harvest your
organs if you had touched my tail? i mean... after that, what
else could life possibly have to offer? (yea that made me sick
too... try to aim your puke over there)
i am so so so so so so so happy tonight.....do u know y? do ya?
do ya? do ya?!?!?! hehheheeeee i wanna be cool like u...but i
know im not coooooool!!!!
you just reminded me that i had coffee to drink
No, I believe you
are the one who sucks. I dont suck, I fucking rock man, ask anyone.
An intern half my age gave me head in the oval office, the whole
country found out and they still fucking loved me. How do u compare
to that level of popularity DC? - Bill Clinton
well i know you don't... you have little interns to do all your
sucking for you... you were just taking credit for all of HER
oh and fartmonkey
seems to have shut up so its seems I've done a public service,
wouldn't you agree? -Bill Clinton
i think that a great public service would be to remove all the
stupid drivers from the streets...
who am i? what am
i? where am i? when am i gonna die and how? why am i scary? why
do i laugh when i look in the mirror? why? why? why?!?!? oh..i
was just wondering..if u could teach me monkey sex? cause i have
this hot new monkey gf..and i wanna fuck her...but...idk monkey
you... that thing... over there... car wreck in 2011... the hair...
your hair... and only if you pay me
I am semi-afraid
of heights in that I can be up really high as long as I feel safe.
What can I do to completely get over this fear? McDiablo
fling yourself from a cliff... sure you'd be dead but that'd fear
be dealt with... then again... what would happen to emerald then?
who would write me questions now that miss rogers sweater is planning
for her future?
Miss Roger's Sweaters'
teachers keep offering her "extra help". Are they really
helpful, or do they just like her, uh, presence in their offices?
they're turning her into a robot... go save her NOW
Why does my family
not believe in turning the heater on when the house is really,
really cold? McDiablo
this is part of their experiment ...
if god is a turtle
does that mean satan is rabbit?
its the other way around... but then again it could also mean
that god is just a part of a huge ill-concieved way to make humans
is there anything
besides bread that ducks can eat?Bubs
actually i think the horrid reality is that ducks aren't to have
bread at all... as for what they can eat... i can't help you
how long does it
take for a duck to fly? Bubs
well i guess that depends on how quickly they flap their wings...
there was a duck
wondering around the road by itself,u take it home and decide
to keep it what do u do?should u take it back or just leave it?
you leave it there... i've heard stories of ducks that appear
to be lost but in fact are savage killer ducks that peck out your
eyes and leave you for dead at the side of the road...
Have you ever collected
candle smoke in a jar? Its quite fun... FartMonkey
no i haven't actually... i'll have to try that
If I drink a lot
of molten wax (like homer and the insanity peppers) will it come
out in the shape of my stomach/intestines/ wherever it hardened?
the only way to truly know is to try... i mean... if homer can
do it... why can't we?
Once, when I was
very young I thought I had a tail. I cared for it and fed it chocolate
cake, though it was allergic to chocolate. Perhaps its died, because
I've been turning in circles for days now and I cannot find little
Benny (my tail). Have you the faintest clue where he might be?
this is a lesson you had to learn eventually... you have to figure
out what you did wrong on your own or you'll never have a tail
of your own again...
So anyways, there
was this egg, right? But he didn't like me so lets forget about
him. Its funny cuz he got eaten by a tiger. Tigers go rarr. So
do lions. Lions have long hair. How do they keep their hair so
clean and shiny without bathing or shampoo? Is shampoo merely
a conspiracy to make us pay high prices for material found in
they have special lion 'oils' that natrually keep it looking so
nice... and the salavia of a mate... and shampoo is a hoax designed
by the masterminds in sweden... how's THAT for neutral?
Blarmey, where are
the fish? I could have sworn the fish were around here. Here fishy...oh...it
must've been that damned orange cat! Where's the orange cat? *weeps*
Aw hell, there she is. Oh wait, thats the brandy bottle, might
as well take a few more swigs. Sho anywhays where muh orannnggeee
kat?! *chokes on own vomit* -ferretchick
i think i need more coffee to even begin addressing this
This rat just climbed
into your pocket. You pay me for rat. 5 dolla! Now! B-but I swear
I didn't have anything to do with... No! YoU pay now me! Should
people who live in America know how to make sentences? -ferretchick
should they? YES... do they? not always... sadly for those that
can, the few speaking on behalf of them can not...
I have an alter ego
who keeps atempting to take over my body. She's a bitc-no I'm
not. Anyhow, so she's trying to take over my body and I've tried
mentally bludgeoning-OW! -THWACK!- STOP IT!-her but I'm afraid
I'm only hurting myself. Every time I try to talk to people she
bluntly insults -DC IS A STUPID BASTAr- no! shut u- YOU SHUT UP
- die, bitch, die!- them. They're my own thoughts, though now
they're -YOu fucktard!- setting friends against me -YoU don't
HAVE frien-yes I do! I SWEAR-. Any advice for -not- destroying
evil alter egos? -ferret-stupid WHORE- Shut up! No! ferretchickEN
haha you said fucktard... oh well someone there did... anyways
i'd suggest the 'fork in the eye' as punishment... sure it will
hurt you too but it's very effective... you should have met my
alter ego... oh wait... maybe you have....
Do you think we should
legitimately sanction an official theInsaneDomain Majong Solitaire
room? - Mzebonga
i think that'd be great... it sure would provide us with an ample
stream of people to bother on chat
How come when you
burn a tea candle, so the little metal thing keeps the melted
wax from going anywhere, wouldn't it just melt and then re-harden?
How come it makes the little crater? Where does the wax go? FartMonkey
siberia gets hit by large asteroids every once in awhile and you're
worrying about wax? come on... how do you think siberia feels?
how would you like to wake up each morning wondering if TODAY
is THE DAY that your sorry ass being killed is front page news
and a little blurb on yahoo news... it's horrifying i'm sure...
so you just thank the universe that all you have to worry about
is some wax that builds up in your lungs and will eventually kill
you in your sleep...
Alright, DC. I have
a couple questions lined up for you. Ready, Freddy? 'Kay then.
You have said time and time again that your mother created you
as well as your other sock monkey amigos. Does this mean that
they're all actually your siblings? If so, why are you selling
them? Isn't there some sort of unwritten rule that you can't sell
your sibling(s)? I was always told there was. While we're on the
subject of your mother and you I'll go ahead and ask the other
main question. Tell me, DC, does she know? You know what I'm talking
about, your..other..career. Does she know about your dabbles in
the world of porn? If so, how does she feel? Have you ever been
so bold as to actually show her? I'm interested in how open minded
your mother is. I can't imagine what it'd be like to know my son
takes pictures of having his tail played with and posts them on
the web! Enlighten me, DC. - Kitten
yes they are (you're so smart)... i'm selling them because it's
time they moved out.. no there isn't if you're not human (ever
been in a pet store?) and my mom thinks i am just into 'photography'...
so she knows not of the pictures... but i'm sure she'd be proud...
i just haven't told her cuz then she'd tell my grandma and having
my grandma looking at me playing with my tail isn't something
that i'd like to have happen
night, I was subjected to racial slurs--this woman was saying
negative things about white people on the Skytrain. I hope this
hasn't happened to you, DC, but has it? What did you do to avoid
yelling/punching/murdering that person? McDiablo
it's very shitty to hear someone's stupid opinion on matters such
as those... it would feel very good to do that sort of thing to
them... however somehow that isn't viewed as an 'ok' thing since
the stupid people are still running most of the show... so you
did good by simply killing them repeatedly in your head and vowing
to push them in front of the train if you can make it look like
What is your favourite
sport to watch? McDiablo
hockey of course....
My mom is making
turkey dinner right now and about 30 minutes ago she yelled, "Ahhh,
damn turkey!!" What did it do to her?? McDiablo
it farted! oh that's just too funny! stop it!
sorry about the french
story i was boerd.the story is 87.98% original. i read an artical
and it made me laugh, made a story out of it. the questions are
lagit but they are the same questions that the keeper of the bridge
askd king arthur in "monty python's quest for the holy grail"
(good movie) im really going down hill with no brakes as far as
the questions go arent i? i blame t.v. ive been watching too much
tv is starting to not make any real sense... i mean... what is
the real point of it all?
DC, my kid brother
is in love with britney spears <gags> and he insists that
fish are better than sock monkeys..should i kill him, maim him,
let him be, or torment him as he sleeps? SilverJackal
he's tormenting himself already... i mean... HER? just sad...
give it a bit and you'll be able to rub his affection for her
in his face when he snaps out of it and goes onto whatever the
tv says the next fake smile to admire is... get him on tape professing
his love... that will also come in handy later... and then beat
him up just once
It's good to know
you'd have her support, DC. I'm not sure about your grandmother
though, perhaps she has some skeletons in her closet as well?
Oooo..there's some nice mental imagery for you! Oh yes, about
the pet store: That's true but remember, the pets don't sell eachother.
They simply have to lay in their cedar/recycled paper bedding
and try to deal with the every day experience of seeing their
siblings bought, knowing that they're on their way to an untimely
death by the hands of a snotty child. I had a hamster once, I
made the misfortunate decision to give it to my cousin. Poor Teddy
escaped one day and came into the midst of her younger sister,
he was squeezed to a bloody pulp. This has always been a huge
weight on my shoulders but I now feel as though some of the weight
has been lifted with this confession. Thank you, DC, send me the
bill and I'll pay in nickels. Oh yes, although there's a question
hidden in this babble somewhere, I'll ask another: What are your
views on Dixie Cups and their every day use as objects of self
sexual gratification? - Kitten
i'm glad you feel better letting that all out... and it's too
bad about the pets in pet stores, as there are many cases where
they are not taken care of etc... it's best to find a local 'pet
rescue' and adopt from there... my views on dixie cups are not
sexual and for those who do find them sexual... well that's a
problem right there but a much better problem then ripping the
crotches out of roadkill and having sex with them
Where did santa claus
some fat crazy guy that used to give kids gifts and until they
started finding body parts nicely wrapped in boxes, everyone thought
it was a good idea...
What about Lumbini? Lumbini is a
stupid and therefore suitable Majong Room... Should we nominate
Lumbini? I can't stop saying Lumbini. Lumbini.
Lumbini. Lumbini. Lumbini. Lumbini.
that is true... and that word is so addicting... lumbini... lumbini....
DC, have you ever
had the urge to just stab out a neighbor's eyes with a stick and
use them as a decoration in your car (much like fuzzy dice)? BlueRaven
oh yes... many many times...
does bieng a hooker
who smokes crack automatically make you a crack-whore or do u
have to turn tricks in exchange for crack? Editor in Chief - Crack
i would say that both qualify you, however the bigger crack-whore
would be the one who exchanges sex directly for crack
Is a loan shark the
person who lends you large sums of money with grossly unreasonable
interest rates and then gets someone to brake your knee caps if
you dont pay OR is the loan shark that big guy that comes around
and brakes your legs beacuse you havent payed the other guy? I
think its the first one but my freind seems to think that its
the second guy. My friend is obviosly a moron isn't he?
the loan shark is the person who lent you the money and the guy
(or girl) who comes around to kick your ass is the 'grunt' or
why does my boss
is playing games with my records? do they actually train these
people to make their staff miserable before getting any promotion
or a praise at all??? -deserv5
it sounds like you work where i used to... do you have to wear
a blue shirt? anyways... yes... many companies are like that which
sucks a lot
why when i felt sooo
fuckin stressed i feel like suicide's the best answer? is it the
best solution? why does people actually bother to stop me from
doing so? and right after i said 'okay guys, i wont do it.' they
would ignore me all over again and wouldn't give shit abt me???
are they looking attention for themself from my misery?
when it comes to sucicide, there are very few who actually have
any sort of justification for doing so... say you had cancer and
you have a month to live in horrible screaming agony... then i
would say it's allowed... if you are under the age of 25 and just
feel shitty cuz everyone around you sucks, then no i don't think
it's justified cuz that's just the way life is like during those
times... i say you stop the 'no one gives a shit' thing and do
something productive with your time... go volunteer at the local
humane society or something... the kitties and dogs give a shit...
drugs gonna make
me look sickeningly sick and i dont want to die that way. coughing-sputtering
blood allover due to bad lungs is more like it! but then why i
cant get high or chest pain when i smoke anymore??? -deserv5
are you sure you know what you're smoking? it's not oregeno is
it? if you want to cough up blood then smoke normal cigarettes...
and if you want lung pain then go inhale some fibreglass insulation
What are the chances
that I'll be getting a Slurpee tonight (Yes, I am still trying
to drink less of them)? McDiablo
pretty good actually
What are you planning
on doing this Hallowe'en? Are you planning on dressing up? McDiablo
hey look... yours has a funny ' in it... and i'm not sure yet...
i heard rumors of a party but i'm not sure yet
I am addicted to
licorice right now. Are you addicted to any food/drugs at the
I want to bite your neck, why is
i have a nice neck to bite... go on
Why do assholes make
porn viruses that convert your regular homepage into a porn site
and insert about fifteen various pornsites into your favorites.
How the hell is this supposed to encourage me to subscribe? I
mean what moron came up with this advertising strategy, all its
gonna do is piss me off... and if i don't fix it quickly, get
me fired. Why would that make me want to give them my bussiness?
- Bill Clinton
you know... that i'm not sure of... sometimes people are paid
by the hit... but to be honest i don't know why the porn freaks
or spammers do what they do... obviously someone out there is
falling for the shit and spam enough to make it effective... i
truly hate that shit too though and everyone who does it should
why does everyone
have to annoy me?? and ..y does everyone have to hate me?? i wanna
be a sock monkey...its my goal...how do i become a sock monkey...or
is it not possible?? i need help! help me!!!!
people are annoying... thats the way they are... the more of them
in a group, the more annoying they are... and you have to gather
enough socks and stuffing to become one...
Why do people enjoy
staring into giant holes in the ground? They're pretty much all
are you SURE?
If you had a choice
between living forever or being the soul survivor of a deadly
plague on earth, which would you choose? -ferretchick
both would suck a whole lot... at least if i were just a survivor
i could eventually die and finally leave the planet... then again
if i lived forever i could wait until the stupid humans move off
the planet (if they ever do) and i can just fly away in my own
spaceship and see the universe...
So wait...there IS
no Santa Clause?! -ferretchick
nope... and no santa claus either
Do sunglasses make
you more intimidating or just dumb looking? -ferretchick
me? more intimidating... but for many others, it just looks dumb
What would you do
if i said, "I HATE CANADIAN MONKEYS !" ?
i'd have to throw things
If i used a butt-plug
that was 8' and later used one that was 7', how wide is my anus
how long have you been using them for? do they stay in long? does
your anus retain its width after removing the plug or do you have
a young anus that snaps shut after the plug is removed?
If you only had 50$
and you had the choice between a hot steaming pile of monkey and
ultra-thick shoe, which one would you give your last pair of doritos
the hot steaming pile of monkey.. you just can't beat that
where is the jade
i'd love to tell you but NO
Do you guys ever
actually laugh out loud at any of the questions or the what if
responses ect, or are u pretty much over it all? - Condoman
if it gets a good question award, the odds are i either smiled
at it or really did laugh out loud at it...
Do you know who David
Beckham is? - Condoman
is he that guy with the green lab coat that is always making me
do stupid things like go through mazes to find cheese and jump
The eye picture next
to the Interviews link...a random eye, or somebody of relevance's?
it's a random eye... does it look familiar to you? maybe one of
yours that ran away?
Is okay to shave
a sock monkey? -Keith
only if it asks you to do so when it's not drunk
Why all the
violence, DC? You seem to have a pent up rage problem. I'd be
more than willing to let you take it out on me, if you liked.
yea? i'd like that
How do all the clows
in the circus fit in that damn small car ? I mean it'ss crazy,
like they're all big and the car is like all small, it doesn't
make sense !HaaaaAHahahahAAEWErrrg.... sorry , hurt my head on
that one.- wEEly
it's a magic car... i had one once but it gets really hard to
tell when you're alone and i don't like those sort of surprises
I used to get good
question awards back in the day for the most god awful questions.
Keep in mind, this was before I went by this alias. Anyhow, why
are the good question awards so scarce now? Have they become a
prestigious honor? I miss the donkey pinata, bring it back. Come
on, just this once? I'll make you a fresh pot of coffee as I rub
your tail. - Kitten
they are indeed harder to get now... maybe i've grown older and
more bitter... maybe it has something to do with the rings around
saturn... and i'm sorry but the pinata is retired forever... he
was found beaten to death after a childs birthday party... it
You knew the Lumbini
question was me, didn't you? And what is the plural of Anus? Is
it Anuses or Ani? - Mzebonga
oh yes i did... i just didn't want to put your name cuz i'm selfish
like that... and i truly don't know... you should look that up
and also ask your friends and family if they know...
If I was standing
infront of a mountain, would it be quicker to walk round it or
go over it? Bearing in mind, the mountain is the same in height
as it is in diemeter - the cheese maker x
it'd be easier for you to use a teleporter... those things really
help out in situations such as those...
DC, i've got a problem
with my neighbor's dog. it's always barking in the middle of the
night. i asked him (the neighbor) to please shut his dog up because
it's annoying. he didnt do anything, then i asked the dog to stop
and it ignored me. now i have the urge to do something very nasty
(i shall not say what it is) to both the dog and my idiot neighbor.
what should i do? BlueRaven
phone the cops and tell them... phone every night this happens...
and if that doesn't work then rent an elephant and have it do
that thing it does all night... also have it shit on their lawn...
maybe even onto the dog directly...
ok, i have a aqestion
you'll probably make fun of, but im going to ask it anyway. if
wolves (and other creatures of the canine persuasion) bark and
howl at the moon, do lions (and others of the feline persuasion)
hiss and meow at the sun? SilverJackal
well it's not that bad... and felines are friends with the moon...
they don't need to hiss or anything at it...
When I get wasted
in candyland, howcome I always end up with a board over my head?
it's the sugar they're using... happens to me too
really cause blindness? -evil tinkerbell
only if you are doing something horribly wrong
DC, i was coming
out of a store the other day, and some creepy old guy threw (literally)
a new testament pocket bible at me and hit me in the back. he
then proceded to scream at me that i am going to be eternally
damned to hell unless i repent. i screamed back "repent this,
you fucking bible monger!" and threw the bible back at him,
smacking him in the head with it. was this right or should i have
ignored him? SilverJackal
you did the right thing... when he threw that at you he forfeited
his right to be treated decently... you also showed restraint
in leaving after that, which is very important... good job
Hey, i've been wondering,
why is it that people who are "white" wear "Du
rags" ? I was almost sure that they were used a long time
ago to keep shit oouut of your "corn rows" or whatever.
Now you see Jason"Fiddy Gs" Jackson walking down the
street wearng a Negro hair protecter. What's up with that ? -Off
after 'hey i've been wondering' none of it made sense to me...
du rags? fiddy gs? uh huh
It has be pouring
down rain for two days. Is this cloud suffering from PMS or what?
must be the same cloud as over here... stupid pms clouds
My cat went to the
vet last week and the vetinarian said she was so good compared
to other cats who come in for appointments. She would let him
open her mouth and feel her intestines (wonderful). She didn't
even flinch. Does she like to suck up to vets or what? McDiablo
oh yes... she just wants treats so GIVE already
"My uterus is
leaking." Why did I laugh when I read this? McDiablo
because you're a sick and twisted chick... that's why we like
you here at theinsanedomain
How far away from
a plate is that last platipus on the giant wok ?
i like a girl. i
am a boy. when do i noe she like me and ask her out? do u have
could be due to your bad breath... and leave my nostrils alone
At the Grand Canyon
there are these evil little squirrels that climb the rocks like
nothing and attack a person holding a(n) <Insert Random Food
Item>. The person then says "Aw, how cute, that squirrel
just attacked me!" This is all true and not just some made
up bullshit. Anyways, we build an army of super squirrels, perhaps
robotic, and give them each little green helmets so we know which
ones are ours. Then we release them in the Grand Canyon area to
infect everyone with rabies and bring us back their valuables.
Of course we'd be immune to their squirrel viruses unlike the
rest of the general population. Perhaps we could try pigeons too,
but squirrels are so much cuter. "Oh how cute, that little
squirrel attacked m--AHH! IT'S GOING FOR THE JUGULAR! NO! WE DON'T
BITE THA------" *thud* Can't you see the beauty of it all
now? You in? -ferretchick
oh i'm in...
will you help me break into a maximum security prison? ~ Natasha
sure thing let's go
how many more tatoos
should i get?
depends on if you're getting cool ones or not
u did i break my
leg going down a ramp on a bike?
sure thing there skipper
yea.. never thought
bout them kittens and dogs.. wow DC u'r a great! and yes my buddies
sucks!! hahahahahaha ( i hope ya'all reading this!! ) time to
moves on with mah nu life! btw, you still look smug in that shades
DC, but now you're cool lookin smug!
i accept thank you presents...
I appreciate that
you and your colleagues have provided a long list of the various
ways that people suck but, what I'm wondering is just how hard
everybody sucks and how we go about measuring the sucking force.
If we could measure the intensity of sucking and create a sort
of scatter-plot to detect patterns, perhaps we could issue public
warnings along with weather reports, much as we do with smog or
pollen alerts. People with acute sensitivities to sucking, such
as ourselves, should be medically excused from work under strong
sucking conditions. Do the researchers at The Insane Domain have
any theories or findings on this particular aspect of Suckology?
Thank you Dr. DC. - Dr. Enfante Terrible, Department Chief of
Research Suckology at The Institute For Pessimystic Studies
we've been working on this for quite some time now... after many
arguments and pointing of fingers... it was determined that fingers
pointed into eyeballs hurt and went home to cry for a little while...
since then... progress has been made in obtaining foam fingers
to point with and therefore reduce the risk of injury... we have
some graphs that will hopefully explain the rest of it to us...
Wouldn't it be cool
if we could take one huge long string and tie it all the way around
the planet? And then we could make people in different countries
hold onto it and babble some garbage about unity and then set
it on fire? Actually that would require too much effort, let's
just go torch some villages. FartMonkey
no no... torch the cities... the fire looks more interesting coming
out of city buildings
How do you make them
go away? FartMonkey
i scream... and scream... and scream...
There's a dud bird
egg thats been sitting on the ground outside my window for some
time now. I had a dream about it last night. It hatched the skeleton
of a doberman and it was chasing me. That was scary. When's the
last time you changed your sheets? FartMonkey
eat the egg and last week actually.. i got this thing called a
bed frame and now my bed is off the floor... it's the strangest
What's this key for?
for that thing... see it? yea that thing
if a horse dies and
then comes back to life,would it take a piss or take a shit first.
if pikachu is a mouse
and squirrels infest the universe then why don't all of the mice
zap the squirrels and take over?thatthingguywhois
the cats will not allow this sort of thing to happen... they have
other things they're all working on
why isnt liz perverted?
i try to make her perverted but she just wont become perverted!!
i am getting mad now! .. oh..and why does amy hate me...and y
does she get moods with me?? - ryan
maybe liz is just not that kind of twisted person like the rest
of us... which is fine... who the hell are you to boss everyone
around? and amy hates you because you are selfish... hence the
moods... so shape up
why do spiders have
eight legs? BlueRaven
6 would just be wrong
DC, is it okay to
say "go away and leave me the hell alone you insignificant
little spec..ask your fucking mom to paint your face up"
to your neighbor kid when they wont leave you alone about helping
them with halloween face paint, even though you told them you
will not be home for halloween? SilverJackal
am i getting deja view? memories of 'insignificant little specs'...
? hmmmm.... grandma? is that you?
My parents are watching
baseball. They never watch baseball. What's going on here? McDiablo
they're trying to bore you so that you'll leave the room
"What's he talking
into his glove for?" asks my mom. McDiablo
thats where the pet ants are kept warm for the winter... he's
talking to them to see if they're ok
I think the United
Kingdom has even worse reality TV shows compared to what they
show here. Did you even think that'd be possible? McDiablo
they ARE? i'm in complete shock... i thought it had gotten as
bad as it could already
If I went for a walk
and got lost in the middle of nowhere,how would I find myself
on a map? - the cheese maker x
look for the 'you are here' sticker
why does it burn
when i piss
there is something horribly wrong with you and that is just a
Since around 1995,
with the release of the Lion King, the song 'I have a lovely bunch
of cocunuts...' has beeen aroused in many poeples minds'. But,
when the little birdie is singing the song for the bad lion guy
he gets interupted right after ' some the size of your head.'
What I, and many other people are wondering, what is the rest
of the song. I know there is more to it because I've heard it
once before, back in the day of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and
the Atari ran rampant in the fields of children's imaginations.
Thank you for any assistance you may be to my small, semi-piontless
what the HELL? i go to yahoo and punch in 'I
have a lovely bunch of cocunuts...' wait a minute... why are
you watching the lion king?... i actually have no idea what the
rest is... or if there is a rest... how about instead of watching
the lion king, you go see what other strange sentences bring up
this website in yahoo...
do you think i could
do a payment plan on $15? I could give 1 dollar and 25 cents a
month. give 30 days to accomplish $1.25 i think it would work
i say you get a jar and put the money in there until you have
enough... then send the money and the jar to us
i'm thinking of changing
my name to "your illegitimate child" what do u think?
i think it's disturbing... so go ahead
Why must they torture
me so?! x-y+ the hypoteneuse of a square? How's that going to
help me in life?! Curse standardized testing. Is this going to
evolve into another thing to form a rebellion against like tea
taxes? Or perhaps just an angry mob?-ferretchick
all of the above + 4
Toys in the attic?
damn straight... oh wait... who told you?
Now wait...let me
get this straight. I actually met the stereotypical "I could
have bought 5 pairs of shoes for the price of that bracelet"
female. Now is suicide an option? -ferretchick
no... but i do suggest you go 'fight club' on her ass
If you were a hippo
and had three lives, what would you do during each life? Please
explain in excruciating detail. -ferretchick
1... eat and chew until i died from eating and chewing too much...
2...eat plastic explosives and explode into little bits... 3...
take over the planet ... and i'm not telling you the details of
that cuz it's MY plan
I have come
to the conclusion that my thoughts are far too pure. What can
... nay what MUST I do about this?
masturbate more often
Can you make
it go faster? Can you make it go backwards?
yes... and sometimes
What's the fastest
way to get to "x"? (with "x" being any destination
some people would say train... but i'm not much of a train supporter...
too many horns... so i'd have to say light speed... it's quick...
cheap... and a time saver...
why do you do this,
do u have lots of free time!?!?!?!?
it's what keeps me going... you people are like a family to me...
why don't you all come over for the next holiday and we'll fight
and bitch... then we'll eat and drink and puke in the streets...
then we'd never need this website again... it'd just be me and
all of you and we'd be so unhappy but we'd be together... just
like the good old days on the website and what ever happened with
that? well i had all you people to deal with so i couldn't update
it anymore so maybe i really do this to stop you people from coming
and living with me and making me hate you even more...