What is it called when you put a gerbal up your bum?

I'm looking for a good vibrator. Have any suggestions?
that dancing barney

Do your big fucking monkey lips ever get chapped?--Syko Morgana
hell ya... i have to use some stuff that is in a white tube

Can you supply me with the record of the largest home grown jellybean, preferably the buttered popcorn flavor? Thanks! FartMonkey
no... get it yourself

would you go back out with your girlfriend who has cheated on you like 5 times but you've been with this person for more than 2 years and they promised they'll change? please help me!!!
you're a dumbass so please hack off your genitals so you don't breed

is it ok for me to write a bitter christmas song? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... that is all it's good for

why is my electric guitar heavier than my more expensive and prettier classical guitar? - Miss Roger's Sweater
electric guitar rocks and rocks are heavy

do girl sock monkeys get PMS? just wondering. - Miss Roger's Sweater
no... they don't have issues like that

There is a pair of scissors sitting right in front of me. Should I pick them up and do the unthinkable (that being ... run with them)? McDiablo
yes... do it... DO IT

Why do people make New Year's resolutions? This really puzzles me. McDiablo
they are trying to improve themselves and then they get over and go back to being shitty

What is your favourite word in the English language (aside from profanity, of course)? McDiablo

Beans, beans they're good for the heart ... the more you eat, the more you fart, the more you fart the better you feel ... so should I eat my beans with every meal? McDiablo
no... no you shouldn't

How come when a guy when a guy fucks every girl he knows then hes a sex god, but when a girl fucks every guy SHE knows then shes a slut?? Laurie.. my question isnt pathetic!
it's called a double-standard in which people are shitheads... let's face it... anyone who goes around fucking everyone isn't worried about being called names because they're too busy fucking and i'd sure hope that SOME thought goes into NOT breeding... it's not that fucking hard to use a condom people...

Is it okay to find the physco killers in movies a lot more arousing than the good guys? xoxo.. Laurie
um... arousing? sure i guess

have you ever used the word schlong before?~SG*
of course

Exactly how demonic would you rate yourself?

Do you read Lenore comics, if so do you think they would be suitable for an 11 year old girl?
i haven't a clue what lenore comics are

What you don't share? Would you share with me? Sally ,Oh and sorry I haven't been in a while I'm busy trying to make some sort of life hehe!
i'm sharing! i'm sharing! and you have a life? damnit i've been looking for one... where did you find yours? was it free or do they have a lease system worked out?

have you ever heard of the word worangley? - dane
now i have

what do you consider to be what was then and is now today from yesterday? - dane

what is the orgin of your cheese obsesion? - dane
the cow

my neighbor is like some kind of sex crazed robot that wonders the night in search of bootie, how do I please him sexually? - dane
get a robot

you dam Canadian bastard, do you have a beard? Most Canadians have beards don't they? - dane
no i don't... and no they don't!

I AM one who had once a Canadian lover, she was cute, so I had to let her go, she must be married by now, or running with her dogs in the valley, what's with you Canadians ? Hey?
well we're all different... kinda like how all humans are different... only colder sometimes

I AM being pick up by this girl, once a week, on my way to work, from my bus station, I finger her up on the traffic lights, then we stop, She will give me head and send me to work. Is this perfect or what ??
sure... can i get a ride too?

I'm a little scared about working in a chocolate store on Christmas Eve ... how nutty is it going to be in there? McDiablo
you'll have scars

I received FIVE pylons on my lawn during the night. How cool is that? McDiablo
very cool indeed... and maybe tomorrow you'll have 10!

My brother knocked on the window, but I thought someone was knocking on the door. Should I get my hearing checked? McDiablo
no i say you pound your brother with some nerf items

If everything tastes like chicken, then how come everything tastes different?
everything is lies

This weekend I made shoes and a hat out of duct tape, and I made a tie the previous week. I have worn all three to school. This is abnormal behavior, right? Normal for me, I mean? FartMonkey
yes... it is... and good job... it's very nice

I have a crush on my imaginary friend. Should I make love to her tonight?
hell ya... what else would you do with an imaginary friend

What would happen if I stuffed a live goldfish into my vagina?
pulling it out might hurt

What happens if I ejaculate into my goldfishes water?
i don't think they'd be very happy... but then of course you may discover that they love it

I'll try to make this short: I live in the Philippines where everyone is far too traditional and still believes in the whole "macho" complex and the "don't talk to your parents disrespectfully" ideal. Where you can get a girl pregnant at the age of 17, then get forced to get married and live with your parents until you're 40. That sort of thing... So yesterday when my parents screamed at me for "supposedly" screaming at my niece ( who is the devil's spawn of my evil nearing 30 year-old brother who impregnated his girlfriend, got married and still lives with my parents) - and I DIDN'T EVEN SCREAM AT HER - I just stood there dumbly, trying to hold it all in.... I couldnt answer back, because answering back is a form of disrespect which is a bad thing so if you want to say something, BE NICE... I couldn't even TRY to be nice, because trying to be nice is a form of sarcasm and so is very well a form of disrespect, so there you go... I couldn't even LOOK at them in the eye, because looking at them in the eye means that you are being a SMART - ASS and that means being SARCASTIC which is of course very DISRESPECTFUL..... So i just swallowed all that anger and decided to talk to some one, about the unfairness of it all, and they say "Why did you scream at your niece?" FUCK IT. The point is, I am absolutely FED UP WITH IT. I feel abused and mistreated by MY OWN PARENTS who are pieces of crap... (hahaha isn't that a classic...) i've tried reasoning out with them, but you know, it's impossible.and i've tried all there is i think i can do. AARGH. I could go on and on about this, but i don't want to waste space....... What do you think?
i honestly think you should move away to austrailia where you can live happily

i'll be going to borneo for a week cuz my sister came back for a break from the US where she's studying (in philly) anyways, what can i bring you from there? - SiNiSTaR
something shiny

have you ever had strep throat? or slack tongue or bloaty head or spare ribs? - SiNiSTaR
yes to step throat and no to the rest

I only just found out you are all Canadians, why don't you just move somewhere else. You will have to become a lumberjack sooner or later you know? - dane
no good... can't hear you

Do you wear mostly plaid ( flannel ) clothing?, is it because you are Canadian? - dane
here are the truths of canada...

why is the first thing my brother does when he gets home is bitch at me? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i blame it on your building forts out of his things while he is away

my brother claims that he does everything around the house, but in reality i do everything. can i hurt him? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... and then stop doing everything and then ask him why he's not doing everything like he said he was

is it ok to average 2 slurpees a day? it is the holiday season.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but you are only allowed to alternate between red and green if you don't mention it to anyone

how do you dye ur hair with koolaid????whut stuff do you need???
you need scissors, soap, glue, 2 black perminant markers, a bag of hair and 4 packs of koolaid (or a non-name brand alternative)... follow these instructions: 1. go into the bathroom and lock the door 2. wash your hands with the soap 3. cut off all your hair with your scissors 4. put the hair into the sink (make sure the plug is in) 5.fill sink halfway with hot water from the tap 6. open the kooaid or non-name brand alternative and dumb it into the sink 6. there already is a step six 7. take the lids off the markers and stir the hair in the water until water is colored 8. wait 12 hours 9. gather up hair from in the sink 10. glue to head

Should I get off the computer now? McDiablo
yes... you're ruining everything!

I guess I contributed to those 2 million hits. I go on this site a lot. In your unbiased opinion, is that so wrong? McDiablo
no it's not and thanks for coming back so many times... i personally invite you to return in the future whenever you wish

Why does the word 'toggles' make me giggle? McDiablo
it's the amusing combination of the 'i' with the two g's

well i guess it's official, santa isn't real.. can i go roam the streets now? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes you may and since mcdiablo is leaving her computer as well.. you can wander with her

in 18 hours will all this holiday junk so over and i'll never have to watch a stupid christmas commercial until next year? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i'm hoping so... but they keep starting it earlier and earlier so maybe this is the year it never ends

is it bad that i am enjoying watching "the holiday log" burn on tv? and am taping it? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's bad if you feel the heat from it and try to put it out by pissing on it

is mcdonalds open on christmas? cuz i could sure go for some grease this morning... - Miss Roger's Sweater
i know xmas is shitty and torturous... but suicide by bad food is NOT the answer... that's what senseless violence is for

Who cares about Christmas ... did you have a nice Boxing Day? McDiablo
yes... i boxed with everyone i met and won every time... it was if people weren't expecting it

I received a DVD player for Christmas. This puzzled me because my parents are always concerned about money and all that--and then they go and buy a new DVD player with surround sound. What's going on with that? McDiablo
they have decided to put their hopes and their future on you... so you make some money with that dvd player and show them they did well

I have so many blank CDs right now. Want to join in the burn-a-thon? McDiablo
sure... i'm always up for a good burn

There is too much firepower in this new Playsation game my brother now has. Will he go crazy with this and set out to find himself a grenade launcher? McDiablo
yes so you should package it up and mail it to me for his safety

Will you lead me one of your sock monkey's for aday? - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
ok but their hourly rate isn't cheap

If I give you $5000nz ($2500us) to break all your rules, would you let me do it? - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite

I want to do up an web site, but I don't know what to do it on, have you got any ideas? or should I do one on how nutty kiwi's can be? help me plz. - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
i say you put together a site about how much you love this one

How was your christmas and what did you do? Sally
it was tolerable since they made me good veggie food to eat and spoiled me with cds, and books

why did you change the layout of your site? - dane
i didn't... jcp did because it's actually HER site

do you like the man who stole my lawnmower? - dane
hell ya i'd fuck him

Did you know that you given me an headache? - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
did you know that your spelling is annoying?

I'm lonely, and hav room in my bed... you wanta join? - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
no you sound like you're way too young to be having friends in your bed

Why do I find this web site so damn boring? - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
we use a lot of words and spell things correctly... i can see how this would be confusing for someone such as yourself... when you're older you'll understand

For some reason all I'm getting recently is chain e-mails. What the hell is up w/ that?? And isn't it great how you're friends send you this crap in the hopes of getting some stupid wish. Don't ppl realise how much everyone hates chain e-mails?? And how is it just cruel and heartless to not give a shit about some stupid kid w/ 19 diseases, 27 different phobias, no limbs and cabbage growing out of their head who can have all this cured if you sned this on cuz someone will give them 3 cents for every name on the e-mail? When will ppl get the message to STOP-SENDING-THIS-CRAP-ON!? Should I just track them down and shoot them all?
yes you should... and then find the rest of the spammers and shoot htem too

hey dc, could you link me to the drinking game that was on the site? the one where you use the deck of cards? -marissa
yes here it is but damnit you're gonna get off your ass and find it yourself next time

can you explain the orgin of the word banana?
someone found what we now call a banana and said 'hey! let's call this a banana!' the end.

Do pancakes grow on trees?
duh... of course they do

DC since I went away too University I thought I became too cool for you. However, this turns out to not be the case. You see I remember all the great advice you gave me before I went away that helped me in my first few months. Can you forgive me? - Richard
this warms my heart... join me for cheese and crackers and we'll speak of old days

I just saw the second Lord of the Rings movie. Damn, it was very kick ass indeed. Has Tolkien officially plagued my mind? McDiablo
damnit... i went to go see it the other night and it was sold out... what is that about?! i'm a sock monkey and can be propped up on somone's armrest... i'm sure that at least one person would have been willing to share it with me... bastards

Miss Roger's Sweater also saw the movie and she normally isn't up to watching violence. She did, however, sit through the entire movie and didn't have to change her underwear once. Are you proud? McDiablo
yes i'm proud but very angry <shakes fist at full movie theatre>

I got 2 CDs for $17.15 Cdn on Boxing Day. Is that great or what? McDiablo
well that all depends on what cds they were

Do farts drift for miles before turning into wings for fairies? - dane
some do... but others just seep into the ground and slowly turn into evil beings who invade dark corners of childrens closets

my mouse on my computer is moving really slow.. is it stoned? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's drunk... just hope it doesn't puke on your desktop

why is it so damn cold in here? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i blame continental drift

i went to the doctor today to get my throat checked out, and after when he was leaving he told me to "live happily ever after".. what kind of doctor is he really? - Miss Roger's Sweater
he's a magic doctor who smells of peppermint and sunshine... he walks with a unicorn to work, with them singing songs of mornings and smiles... he heals with a smile and isn't from earth... which means he's a good doctor so i'd take his advice and live happily ever after

who was the bastard who gave me a virus? can i hurt them? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... beat them with sticks and make them eat your dirty tissues and lick out your vomit bowls....

can i have permission to sedate myself with advil so my throat won't hurt? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but don't become one of those advil kids who make necklaces out of them

What goes on top, the peanut butter or the jelly? And is either one always on top? Seems a bit redundant.
the peanut butter goes on top and the jelly stays in the jar at the store where it belongs

in heaven do farts taste like meat? - dane
in heaven your farts bring you visions of the universe

how do you grow to be so sexy? Also, can I have a small cucumber please? The lower half of my leg is missing. Shit. - Fido Dido
can't tell you... yes once i find one... and i have the rest of your leg here... i think you'll be pleasantly surprised with the addition i've made

I AM the one who was asked for a ride (sure you remember) sorry I was away for a while, sure I'll give you THAT ride, I still have one free hand! still, Today I had MY RIDE, I am still smiling, It certainly DOES my day, -I just HAD to share-
i look and look... yet find no question here... <shakes fist at lucky bastard>... still no question though...

That snowman figurine is staring at me, isn't it? McDiablo
yes... but only when it's not staring at your wall... it wants to kiss that wall... and maybe stuff some of your pillows in the wall... it would like that very much indeed

Miss Roger's Sweater and I are in the same room ... looking at the computer screen ... yes, we are looking at YOU! Are you peeing yourself? McDiablo
at first i thought i was... but it wasn't piss

Why does one use and elephant noise to edit out a bad word in a song? McDiablo
i got distracted by the word elephant...

Have you ever wanted to know how to break dance? McDiablo
not that i'm aware of...

1)Honestly, Why does ibejustpeachy think that only people without GF's or BF's masturbate? I masturbate and I'm engaged...I just happen to like phone sex. 2)Why did my ex-lesbian lover call me a fat whore when I'm not a whore or fat?
1) who cares cuz there is free porn online for those who do 2) she couldn't come up with anything else

What happens if I push this big red button? I mean, I built this damn lab, but I don't remember this button.....
xmas 1984? what the hell?! did you know that was on your roof?

Can I suck my own penis?
if you could you'd be bragging about it and we'd all be disgusted yet jealous

Does god have a foetus fetish? - Foetish
of course... and remember... god likes you on your knees

Ponder this. Got Milk?-------------Why milk? Why not... poptarts? Got Poptarts? Why? Or perhaps, why not?
yea...! i'm sure poptart would love the commercials changed to that... he says he needs some loving... maybe the got poptarts campaign is the answer!

Why do poptarts amaze me? And are the ones with the sprinkles [the sprinkles that are like the glitter on my monkey in the snow globe] special?
i only know one poptart and he isn't usually sparkly... maybe that was just a bedroom costume i've never seen before though...

Can you tell that I like poptarts? Whats your favorite flavor? Mine is Smores!
well it's not really a flavor but... oh wait... those pastery toaster things? strawberry...

Why do people make fun of you when they figure out you have more money than they would ever see in their entire life , im always made fun of cause i have a personal jet, and I drive a 01 Porshce 911(BTW im 16), the huge house, etc, etc. What the fuck is with them doing that what should i do to them...ive already paid to get some killed but its becoming a pain to keep up with who is dead and who is alive. what do you think i should do?
i think you should give it to me... that way you pretend you're 'normal' like those jerks who laugh at you but you still want to hang around for some reason... and i'll give you money when you need it (we'll pretend you have a job or something so those fools don't suspect anything) and i'll get half so i don't have to get a real job either

ok hit me, the meaning of life?
find your own meaning damnit... i have mine already and you can't have it

$10.50 for a matinee movie? what kind of deal is that? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's a huge rip off... they should learn how to make movies more economically

is it ok to make fun of hugh grant's teeth? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course it is... go right ahead

is it possible to get a root beer belly? - Miss Roger's Sweater
hell ya... you should see ol' joe's root beer belly

how are you spending your new years eve? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i can't tell you that...

my mom is coming home from her 3 week long vacation to mexico on jan 1st.. should i stock up on root beer and slurpees before she gets home? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... and make sure to throw her a big slurpee party

What if I had the time to knit....would I? And what would I make? If I made you a monkey penis warmer...would you use it?
sure but i'd rather have a scarf

If I fold my tongue in half, can I taste what my tongue taste like? Or will the sense cancel itself out?
your head will cave in and the world will stop spinning just long enough to throw us all off of it

in Australia we celebrated x-mas a day ahead of you because we are so advanced, are you upset at this? - dane
no not really... no humans are 'advanced'... you just think you are

why is it that every year without fail millions of ppl all over the world spend hours and hours with ppl they have nothing in common with during the christmas period? next year im goin to point blank refuse... dont u agree that we should strike? until we can choose our family members from a comprehensive list of comedians. definately....
i always strike humans... and people everywhere are stupid and they have what is known as 'herd mentality'... and i would only change one side of my family if i was able to... having denis leary at family occasions would rock

I AM now asking a question, (under slight pressure, I must add.) Did you know that the people in NASA have NO WAY to prove that Man has been to the moon ?, since you can't see under any telescope stuff left there, and the only prove they have are stories of the people who "have been there", and a couple of kilos of bogus rocks, that they might have bought in any middle eastern bazaar !!! btw, I had no RIDE today, so today YOU can smile {:---)
hmmm... perhaps they should make a show and have it aired repeatedly... and they should do it to distract you from the truth... that's right... there is no moon... at least not the way you think... isn't it a bit suspicious that we never see that one side?

I AM afraid to say......I never had a sockmonkey, I have never even see one, Are there any bars where I can frollick with them? and, Do you sass that frood, Zaphod B ?, I wish I knew him !
see them here... and i'm not sure about other sock monkeys but i can't stand bars ... at least those around here... so come over to my place and we'll folic with zaphod b

Why do some guys get in big groups, watch porno and jack each other off? have you ever done that? and for that girl who likes poptarts so much....I LOVE POPTARTS...will u marry me? Why do humans have five toes and fingers on each foot/hand....why not more? Whats your address so i can bribe you w/ things so i can break some rules...remember im a rich mother fucker.
well i suppose they like it or they wouldn't do it... no i haven't done that yet... i'm not sure why humans have any toes at all... they should have wheels... and if you contact me through the form then i'll respond... maybe... we don't post email addresses anymore due to spam

I just ate my own eyes....now i can't see....why?
i blame it on the sun you ate earlier burning your tongue

Our subwoofer works ... it was messed before, but it's all better now. How come subwoofer is such a strange word? McDiablo
to lure you into buying one

I think my dad likes the kangaroo on TV ... my mom is sitting right here. Do you think she feels insulted? McDiablo
no i don't think she is... your mom is progressive and probably supports this 'creativity' of your fathers... she might feel insulted if he asks her to dress up in a sexy kangaroo outfit though

i have been having the same cough for nearly a month. no matter how much cough mixture i guzzle it's still there. my future as a lounge singer has been jeapordized. what can i do to get rid of this mother loving cough? - SiNiSTaR
well i suggest you get a job in the phone sex industry for awhile and save up enough to get your throat cleaned out by a doctor

have i wished you happy new year? HAPPY NEW YEAR!! oh yeah and the nude dancing midgets are in the mail. - SiNiSTaR
for once i'll get something cool in the mail

i'm schizophrenic. one of me is a sock monkey named dixi. she loves you dc. will you meet her? some bitch
sure why not... i love crazy bitches with multiple personalities... it keeps things interesting

how does one improve their sex drive by only using a toothpick, banana and toenail clippers? - dane
they throw those items away and get themselves a clue

why do you always say things that dont mean what I want them to mean to what I say to you before I even say it? - dane
you only think that you want me to say them before i actually do say them but as i'm saying them you are liking what i'm saying, trying to pretend that you thought of them before they were said so you just think are so you can say that i say things you want me to say before you say for me to say them to you when that's not true at all

What does an eyeball smell like?
like marilyn manson's big toes

When you've been camping in the woods, and a bear tries to kill one of the campers, how many cans of Lysol do you use to freshen the air after the camper is dead?
lysol stinks... don't use that shit... you just leave the sweet smell of death in the air until the bear gets you too... that is the way of nature

Is it alright for me to kill someone if they tried to tie their underwear around my arm? If it is, which would be the weapon of choice, a wrench or a pink flamingo?
yes... unless you asked for it... and always a pink flamingo

How many bottles of Vaseline does it take to remove a dog from the inside of a lamp post?
i'd just call someone else for help... i have my own lamp post to worry about

Ok dudes are really fucked up here just so u know and I really thought i need help. but FIRST of all let me ask you fudge monkeys a pathetic question what is wrong with u people? u need me to help u?
fudge monkeys? now i've never seen them before.. they're probably all home having their fudge tails sucked on... and what sweet tail that would be

Wouldn't it be cool if you could pull on someone's boob and it actually made a honking noise?
yes it would but only if you can stop that noise from being heard during sex

Is there a secret portal in my body somewhere? and if so where the hell is it? ive looked everywhere
yes there is... oh no wait... that's something else... maybe that's it? oh... no that's not it either... hmmmm... wait a minute... you're human! you don't have those kind of holes

Happy New Year ... 2003 doesn't sound exciting to me. Will it be a write off year? McDiablo
2002 sucked ass ... 2003 has to be a bit better... or else i will fling myself off a cliff

We have a million remotes now ... for our TV, VCR, DVD player and surround sound system. Enough abbreviations for you? McDiablo
i have one remote that only i know how to use properly... and there are more abbreviations in the computer-language then anything... half the time people have no clue what they really stand for

Everyone in my family, minus my dad, is sick. Am I next? McDiablo
yes <evil music begins to play>

i didn't drink any alcohol last night, yet my head hurts this morning.. is it sympathy pain? - Miss Roger's Sweater
that and being kicked in the head by a drunk person

did my brother get wasted out of his mind last night? - Miss Roger's Sweater
wait a minute... are you admitting he has a mind?! you heard it here folks

wass it ok to take my teddy bear of 15 years with me to the sleepover at McDiablo's house? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but make sure she doesn't touch it or she will ruin EVERYTHING

does the fact that i don't really like grilled cheese sandwiches make me a princess? - Miss Roger's Sweater
sure... and since i don't like it either i am a princess now too... princess of all the sock monkeys... somehow that doesn't have a nice ring to it like emperor of all the sock monkeys... yes that's much better emperor it is

If I roll up reeeeeeally small, I can fit into my USB wire.. I can travel along the internet.. Could you place a large green fox upon your modem so I know how to find you? - Fido Dido
no! i don't want to play anymore

What ever should I tell my rubber band collection? They will be crushed...FartMonkey
send them to me... i will console them all <laughs evilly for no apparent reason>

So what do I do if I DO fall into a pit of feathers and gummy bears? FartMonkey
you eat and sneeze your way out

If my uncle is in jail, I am allergic to the color purple, and every time I see a walnut I go into a screaming fit, where do I get the money for bail? FartMonkey
you don't... on the upsdide, you learn to suck tail like you've never sucked tail before

What are your views on duct tape? FartMonkey
without it... i would be lost and cold

i always get cold chills at least 90 times a day. when i get them my eyes roll in the back of my head and it lasts for about 4,5 sec. some people told me it was because people where walking on past life grave. others say i got some fucking problem wronge with me. so what do you think? - lexy
i think number 2 is your answer... talk to your parents about it and try walking around in a full outfit and not that thing you think looks cool but isn't

Demom Child, so how did monkey become a porn star? - lexy
i'm not sure what the real question is here so i'll just nod

have you ever had a dream about me? - dane
not that i'm aware of... so HA to you

which came first, the chicken or the hot water bottle? - dane
neither... and since you asked this... they will come to your home and beat your ass and peck out your eyes

Do you honestly think people are going to pay 10 bucks a month for my.theinsanedomain? STRAF
why the hell not? they pay more for really stupid shit so why not invest in something original and insane?

What If there was a terrible disease sweeping the world and everyone who got infected sprouted penises on thier shoulders?
bumping into people would be more exciting and there would finally be something new to see in porn movies

I looked at the pic of the chick that runs this site JPC or whatever she calls herself, she is pretty hot in a weird kind of canadian way. Have you ever had sexuall relations with her body? - dane
JCP and no... last time i tried she tied my tail in a knot and laughed at me as i cried

Which is your favorite bodily orifice? STRAF
my mouth because yelling is fun

I AM, lately, much into ICQ (a form of communication outside Canada) and have found THOUSANDS OF GIRLS who are willing to have sex w/me. Tell me, Allmighty DC: Is it because I am Cute / Witty / and short (5"5) ? Is it because nobody else has offer to, graciously, DO them ?? or maybe because they are, AT LAST !! coming out of the closet, and accepting that they get as horny as we do ????
icq?... you mean that thing i use all day to chat online? hmmm... and let's face it... you're just pretending people like you so someone will ask you for your number and then you can feel special and send them icq poetry... nice try loser

Why do the people in the US think that we Canadians are so dumb? And why is it that on Real TV they tell you where everything's happening with the city unless it's in Canada? If they didn't realize, the provinces are on average bigger than the individual states..... ~>:(
that would require actually looking something up to find out FACTS... and let's not be like them... not ALL americans are like that... just the majority... much like the majority of humans are stupid and breeding out even stupider humans... i say let's go find ourselves some planets to fight over... the news would be way more exciting that way... there are billions of humans here... i'm sure there would be millions who would be willing to be shot out into space to get us out there even if they never came back... and what the hell are you doing watching real tv? that show is ridiculous... i'll take jackass or cky over that any day

Why do monkeys fly??
same reason pigs do

Is theropy a way to get drugs? Cuz the shrinks dont really liston to all the damn problems in peoples life! So is that all theropy is? a way to get dopped up and make u think the shrink is helpin you??- BaByGiRL
some shrinks do help ... others just give people reasons to blab on about it and never get better... i think the drugs should be used as a last resort... but everyone is popping pills for everything anyways so what does it matter if you add a few more?

your answers seem to be rather hostile lately, have your feeling for me changed? Do you not love me anymore? - dane
i'm a moody sock monkey... and i told you i only love you when you pay me to

my bird wont fucking shut up, what should I do to it? - dane
put an elastic band around it's beak

I have no money, should I consider suicide or just live my life and try to be the best suitcase salesman I can? - dane
go for number two and when that gets boring then try suicide

DC I hope you are eating well and taking care of yourself, You worry me sometimes you know. - dane
i have a headache due to lack of food... does that worry you?

why do i hate society...but thrive on them being here so i dont get bored at work?
society sucks and you were lying about the rest

Wy are humans so fucking stupid? ...........I wish I was a sock monkey! I would defintely be in a porno with you!
they are bred that way... and when you do become a sock monkey, let me know

would you steal from me?--Syko Morgana
yes but i'd only steal cool stuff

How do you treat a sock monkey bite? Should I put a little bit of mayonaise on it, or just some lemon juice?--Syko Morgana
put the lemon juice on, and then the mayo

okay one last question. Do you like Mushroomhead?(the band)--Syko Morgana
i heard them awhile ago and i don't remember hating it, but don't remember liking it a whole lot either

Why do the people at the bank chain the pens to the desk and leave the vault door open ? - NNY'
as you know, everyone steals pens... it's just something built into the humans... so if someone is at the teller and suddenly decides to steal money, they will run towards the safe... the chain on the pen jerks them back... plus that safe is just a decoy

I beg for forgiveness . PLease may i be forgiven ! ... Wait you're not god ! You won 't forgive me.. will you ?
who says i'm not? and no

Is there a name for an ailment that causes one to listen to the exact same song over and over and, yes, even over again? McDiablo
yes... obsessive compulsive disorder and being a teenager

Would you name your band (should you ever make one) after a car? McDiablo
no that would be silly

Yesterday I had a can of (fake) Coke, a can of Pepsi and a mocha frappacino. Should I lay off the caffeine now? *note: I am drinking another (fake) Coke as I type this* McDiablo
you can't just quit caffeine... you have to ween yourself off it... get the patch

If you dream about killing some random person and go kill some random person the next day is it considered pre-meditated murder...but what if you don't tell the cops that you had that dream and then will they charge you more for manslaughter or premed. murder???--Chunky Flamingo Testicles
i don't think dreams count in a court of law... the rest is just fancy names for people killing people

was it windy and lightning-y last night at your place too? -Miss Roger's Sweater
no it's getting cold though

my mom has returned from mexico.. should i pretend to speak spanish until she gets so annoyed she goes back? -Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... did she bring me anything cool?

is it going to be scary to go to my guitar teacher's home for my lesson? -Miss Roger's Sweater
yes it will very scary and strange... whatever you do don't go into the closets

is it ok to use a cell phone in the frozen food section / meat aisle of the grocery store? -Miss Roger's Sweater
if you must but don't be one of those annoying people who walk around talking on it the whole time you shop

the members only site sounds like a not that bad idea, but what if your livin la vida broka like me? will there be like financial aid for us?
then you go out and get a job for a day to pay for it... or steal it... or pretend you got hit by a car so they pay you to keep quiet... or some other form of obtaining money...

Why do I feel so tired? I mean, I've been getting more than 12 hours of sleep. What's going on here? McDiablo
you're sleeping too much... get out of bed lazyass

Do you feel sorry for commentators who have to pronounce the difficult last names of an entire Russian hockey team? McDiablo
no it's their jobs and they should learn to say them correctly

Have you ever invented new words/phrases to avoid swearing? McDiablo
yes... and for the fun of it too

How come there are still Christmas commercials on TV? McDiablo
to annoy and confuse you

why do my parents like my sister better?
she's cuter and not adopted from the gypsies like you are

why is it that when the sun rises in the morning I always get an ichy chest and have a craving for muffins? - dane
the gravity from the suns light makes your stomach feel empty and your chest hairs feel heavy so they itch

Are buttons just part of the cats' elaborate plan to take over the world? FartMonkey
in a backwards sort of way yes

Is it true that you can physically hurt yourself just by screaming really really loud? FartMonkey
why yes... try it and you'll see

Why is it wrong that I screamed out "peanuts" in wal-mart? Why did they kick me out? *kira*
no idea why and they kicked you out for not wearing shoes

Why do people call people they don't know poseurs? It is stupid and immature. *kira*
people suck

are people born homosexual and why?
sure and the same reason heterosexual are

why do men have nipples? -SaMuEl
so purple-nurples can exist

why does shit smell bad? It didnt smell bad when it when it, why when it goes out?--Syko Morgana
that's the way it is... go see webmd.com

why do some peoples questions really suck and annoy me? *cough*missrogerssweater/mcdiablo*cough* umm hey, do you like french fries?
different people like different things... your french fry question isn't that great either... and yea sometimes

I AM shocked!, even faberglasted! Mighty DC has called me a looser.....She/He must be right, It allways is....I will keep on feeling a sorry looser tomorrow when I get MY RIDE, I won't even will be able to perform.......question, right! I didn't know sockmonkeys ICQ, I have never found one on-line (and I will NOT give all you girls my # !!) DC babe, tell me, word is on the grapevine that there only 2 people here asking questions under many names, is that true? (maybe only one schizofrenic!) meanwhile I'll sing my song..........Yes, I'm The Great pretender..................
two people using different names? haven't thought of that...

I AM currently in the other side of the world, tell me: Which direcction turns the water in your sink when you take out the plug? in the meantime, I'll listen to music from the Pretenders..........
it goes down...

I think you are very clever with your answers to these questions. Do you think you are clever, or are you a modest sock monkey? McDiablo
i'm just trying to get through them and if some of them are clever then it makes it all worthwhile (feel free to vomit now)

Do you ever have a word that you just can't type out right? For example: that = htat or taht. McDiablo
sometimes i have issues with the word 'the'... hte.. thh.. teh...

My dad always cleans up the computer desk, but it gets clutttered again so damn fast. Should he just stop cleaning it altogether, 'cuz I think he's just wasting his time? McDiablo
no if he didn't then it would take over forever and the smell would be horrid

What DVD should I buy next? McDiablo
donnie darko

Why is the mustard dancing with the grass?--Syko Morgana
it's celebrating the return of the cheese

DC how do you feel? i am in love with you. I Have dreams about you..I want YOU. YOU!!! marry me please?
i have a headache... and no i don't want to get married... we can still have sex though

You said they kicked me out for not wearing shoes...I was wearing shoes *has an epiphany* it must have been my lack of pants. What do you think? *kira*
i would have to agree... but then again i don't have to do anything so i disagree and instead blame the whole thing on batteries being dead in the camera

If I have two apples and I eat one..why do they say I only have one apple? The other one may be in the process of digestion...but don't I still HAVE it?
you don't even offer me an apple so i hope you choke on it...

Why should I give my mom a quarter...she's not poor. She wants a quarter...and she's not poor. WHAT DOES SHE WANT FROM ME????? *kira*
a quarter, now give it to her you brat... after all she does for you and you won't even give her a quarter

If you think my spelling is bad, would you speak to my sister Narkita and find out how bad her spelling is? or are you wishing that you were hook up with a bitch? - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
hell no to both

Would you like to have sex with me? and I'm 16... I'm very legally - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
i don't just go around fucking anyone... unless you're a sock monkey... i don't say no to many sock monkeys... how big did you say your mouth was?

holy crap i have school tomorrow, what should i wear? - Miss Roger's Sweater
pants, a shirt and some socks... oh and some shoes... as for where they all go, i'm not sure so just pile them on your head

is it bad when a wheel of fortune puzzle gets me a bit pissed off? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... and it's worse when you declare war on it and beat it with some qtips

does 7am even exist anymore? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not in my world

is my guitar teacher going to crucify me for not practicing enough over the holidays? i plan on staying away from his closets.. -Miss Roger's Sweater
crucifying you? damn what the hell kind of school do you go to?

I hit my head to day on my car while I was cleaning it.. is this a sign or just an annoying bump on my head? ~JeEpY
a bit of both unless you factor in the whole 'our sun is a fake sun' theory

I can't think of anything to ask you. Can you please tell me something I can ask you? - dane
you can ask me if it's alright if you send me money and gifts and yes... yes it is ok

Do the little green men that are at the end of the rainbow get to keep the pot of gold????
hell no i do because i found it first

Does cat piss really make you feel better??? -Chunky Flamingo Testicles
i haven't found it to ever make me feel better, even as i rolled around in it to see if it was any fun

Can I disguise myself as a guy and go to jail and recieve lots of fun anal sex???(not with the scary aids guy)-chunky flamingo testicles
it's worth a shot

How come you don't have the short cut to chilly beach? Sally
is it gone? jcp has been sorting through stuff and i've noticed a few things being 'cleaned up' ... i'll tell her to put that link back up... cuz it's funny

DC, my mom gave my sister permission to get her tattoo, which she'd been begging for. she wants to get some song lyrics tattood on her, can you suggest any cool lyrics? - marissa
song lyrics? how about she write her own words? come on people... if you're going to get branded for life, make it original... but if you truly can't then anything by mr bungle

THANKS ALOT FOR LINKING (oops, didn't realise caps was on, anyway, what was i saying...) me to the drinking game, i know, i know, i'm a lazy bum, you're a swertheart !!!! heh heh, i mean, you're a sweetheart. - marissa
damnit don't call me that... it makes my tail quiver in anger... did you play the game?

if the greeks started the olympics who do you think should end it
david bowie... if he can't do it... no one can

have you ever danced with a bottle of bunny meat?
i saw this video where there were people all over and i paused to watch because it was that chick that i had been asked about before... avril or something... and poptart had said she had an attitude so i watched it for a bit and there were no bottles of bunny meat anywhere...

There is a bag next to me with a box of chocolates in it. I haven't eaten one chocolate from the box. Is my will power improving? McDiablo
yes but let's face it, it's only because the chocolates left are the types you don't really like all that much... but by now you've caved in so you'll deny the whole thing and blame the position of the moon for this lapse in memory

Do you like lists? McDiablo
yes... i am making more... i have been ordered to by the slave driver jcp who insists i must do work work work for this site...

How long will it be before the sun disappears and we are dumped with snow/rain once again? McDiablo
i can't tell you that or the whole thing will be RUINED

I really want to be a sock monkey....what do I need to do to become a sockmonkey?-me
well first of all you have to be a monkey... made out of socks... and then you're a sock monkey

Do you think if a made big wings that I tied to millions of balloons and flying monkeys and jumped off a cliff do think I would fly???-FlynMonkeyLuvr
of course... i do that in my free time when i'm not shaving the homeless

why does dane seem to be such an irritating little shit?
some questions just don't have answers

Your in a comepletly warm room and you still shiver. why is that(or is it just me)?
ghosts... they like to do that

do you think out of all the animals in the world that i most relate to a turtle? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but that's ok... anything is better then those damn birds... <shakes fist at birds everywhere>

school IS overrated, isn't it ? - Miss Roger's Sweater
everything is overrated

are you as shocked as me that in my first class today my teacher told us to read one of our books by next monday.. seven days! can i do it? can I do it? - Miss Roger's Sweater
hell ya... takes about 3 to 5 hours to read a book all the way through... you can do it

Is this it? Is this really it?
that and the door hitting your ass on your way out

Did you eat my dog DC?
no but i can't deny that i sold it to the minivan full of pompoms for a quarter i found on the ground

My family has only now realized that using a sheet for a curtain is not very attractive. Do you foresee a new curtain in our future? McDiablo
it's not? oh... <stares at sheet being used as curtain on window> what are these curtains you speak of?

Is it all right to just randomly brandish a knife? McDiablo
i don't care.. i like brandishing my knifes and you can't stop me

Should I just go live on the sun? I am always cold and I see that is my only solution to becoming warm all the time. McDiablo
yes... bring some popcorn

How long will it be before school stresses me out? McDiablo
.............. this long

Have you always been so great?
mostly but that one day hell no

What would you do if I made a DC fanatics club and built an altar and shrine to you with tons of your pictures and shit?
i'd be terribly amused and laugh and laugh and laugh and then get hungry, have some food, maybe visit again and laugh... then curl up in the bedsheet being used as a curtain since for some reason it should be replaced

Why did the hospital give me an inhaler?..why not pills..or something?..can i have sex with you too?~SG*
use the inhaler damnit and no more pills... and maybe... can i use the inhaler?

If I make it so that every single object in my room is green, and I wear green clothes in my room, would you just see my head floating around? FartMonkey
you can only find out by trying... and sending me pictures

What should I do? Like I had this dumbass teacher who wont change my mark cuz well he is a dumbass. So I told him I was goign to fight the system and get it changed.. but he wont do nothing about ti.. does this mean I shouldn't fight the system or does it mean I should just say screw him and fight the system?? ~JeEpY
i say fight the system and screw him on the desk... oh no wait... fight the system and screw him on your desk... no that's not right either... just fight the system then

i heard the trees screaming my name last night. what do they want from me and why won't they shut up? and why do trees' voices sound like mickey mouse? - SiNiSTaR
my trees whisper... they tell me to chop down the houses and bring the furniture to them

what's a plug-in baby? - SiNiSTaR
no idea but the thought of unplugging them so they don't cry is a great idea

i tried listening to "Big D" but they wont let me cuz it's labelled parental advisory.. but i wanna listen to it...! help me? - SiNiSTaR
it won't let you? hmmm... well i'll see what i can do... keep your eye on the main page cuz i might be able to put it there for the weekend...

the song 'you're a bastard' is SO about my stalker! god damn... i've got at least 2 stalkers now and why won't they fucking leave me alone! - SiNiSTaR
stalkers suck... and i'll tell jcp that someone heard her song... she'll be so pleased!

I AM, waitying for tomorow's RIDE, Huhum, huhum in the meanwhile....... People tell me I am weird cause I refuse to drive (a car) Love to ride my Bike, and go with a smile on my face, even when I dont get a RIDE, are they right ??
no... bikes are better then cars so tell them to shut up

I AM sorry to say, NO sockmonkeys in my neighborhood, Ive call them (is there a especial cry ?), I've Look in the trees, pubs, park benches......and NOTHING!!! Any advice? maybe lots and lots of money?
the money thing is a good idea... but i'd say move away... there must be a reason there are no sock monkeys... unless of course you adopt one from us ... we will have some online shortly once we can bear to part with them

i haven't played the drinking game as yet, but i definately will this weekend, i'll take some pictures too, can i send them to you? and if not sweetheart, what can i call u that won't make your tail tremble? marissa
yes you can... contact me through the form and then i will respond with where to send them... if you sign up for my.theinsanedomain.com you can post them there... or in the yahoo group we have

What happens to fish when they die?--Syko Morgana
they go back to becoming cosmic fish

What happens to sock monkies when they die? Is there a sock monkey afterlife?--Syko Morgana
sock monkey afterlife is the same as everyone elses...

If Bob is short for Robert, how is Dick short for Richard ?
that i have never understood!!!!! unless all richards are dicks...

uhh, i went to my guitar teacher's house and in his teaching room he has a picture of a cat.. his only picture, and it looked like it was professionally done.. should i be scared? - Miss Roger's Sweater
hell no... a worshipper of cats is always good... perhaps he can't have a real one due to his bad guitar playing

am i going to have a tough time writing in my creative writing tonight because it's on the third floor of the G building.. is the altitude going to screw me over? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no... in fact the thin air will enhance your creativity

Any tips for killing my mother?--Syko Morgana
make it look like an accident and if you're caught be prepared for a same-sex partner

If a 'poser' is someone who is pretending to be someone they're not, then can one pretend to be a 'poser'? McDiablo
yes they can but then they fall under the category of 'dumbass'

What is the most random thing you've ever done? McDiablo
run screaming across a busy road to fling myself at a wooden giraffe on someones lawn...

Why is cow tipping so popular?
people are stupid... that's why things like that and bad tv shows such as 'joe millionaire' are popular

Exactly how much would you enjoy a scrumdiddlyumpcious bar? Please describe in extreme detail. -Nikon
well first of all i would go with it into a closet so no one sees me having this bar and wants me to 'share'... then (with the closet light turned on so i can see what the hell i'm doing) i would lick the outside wrapper slowly... once it's all wet... i'd slowly unwrap the bar, exposing the rich chocolate inside... since this bar appears to be in 3 pieces ... i would take one out and proceed to lick it until it was all gone... while doing this i would be containing my moans of pleasure so i'm not discovered and forced to share... after the first bit... i would lick my now chocolately fingers and perhaps touch my tail a bit... i would rub the second piece on my face, feeling the texture of the chocolate against my warm face... then i would break that piece into more pieces and eat them slowly... sucking them until they are no more... the final piece would be buried in the backyard, in hopes of producing a scrumdiddlyumpcious tree... thats about as much detail as you're going to get

Why does the world not have personal missile laws or at least that i can ahve missiles? I think it would make life interesting so i someone pisses me off i can just shoot a missile and the problem is over with minimal violence no fistacuffs or nothing...cool? ya or no?
lots of people do... just not in north america... and sure it'd be nice to wipe out lots of people... but i think it'd be better to wipe out those that actually deserve it... we need to leave the harmless and 'good' people alone... killing should be done face to face so that people can't distance themselves from the fact they are taking a life

Amazingly enough all my teachers are cool.. well in the teacher way.. yup.. anyways is this an odd situation or is it a good situation?~JeEpY
it's a good one so you be a good student and not throw chalk bombs at them

Is it scary that after I made fun of my friend taking an online class that I decide to take a course that is half "live" as the teacher puts it and half "technology" (online)? ~JeEpY
it's not scary... it's a good idea to have classes online so you don't have to deal with some shit you would normally have to.. such as stupid students... a bad teacher or poor scheduling

Is it werid that 2 of my friends are overly umm compulsive with being on line that they tell me to get a homepage or make a site or something or other and I sit and say oh yeah sometime I will do that.. then I laugh cuz I see there sites and think they are werid! ~JeEpY
not weird... some people should have websites and millions of others should just shut down their shitty geocities and angelfire sites because they are utterly useless and uninteresting... if your friends have weird ones then great... i know this girl that has sock monkey porn on her site and damn she's messed up... oh wait a minute... i star in that porn... never mind

is it bad that i seem to be using the word "crucify" a lot lately.. for no reason at all. it's just the first word that comes in my head when thinking of how i will be hurt.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
well some people may find it offensive... so keep saying it...

is it ok to pick the seat in the classroom that is all the way at the back and beside a window? i guess that makes me farthest from the door.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... sitting at the back allows for spontaneous dancing when the teachers back is turned

do you hate "ice breaker" games on the first day of classes as much as i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but sometimes it helps establish the fact that you're the biggest freak in the room and you can find a few other freaks... the rest of the time it helps you figure out who you dislike and don't want to hang with

my brother's girl friend's 9 month old son (not my brother's son. thank god. man that's a scary thought.) is plotting to hurt me isn't he? being all cute and such.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes he is... but that's ok... encourage this and help him to learn the ways of being cute, hurting others, and getting away with it... and haha your brother is with a breeder

i have a punk jacket that's absolutely covered in patches. one of the finishing touvhes was a demon system 13 backpatch that looks great... BUT they're a straightedge band, against drugs and alcohol and premarital sex and all. i'm definately NOT straightedge. now, my entire jacket is covered in many bands that are far from straightedge- do you think anyone would get pissed if i behaved in a very non-SE way (you get my drift) while flashing such a big patch of that type?
if you like the band then there is nothing wrong with wearing the patch.. you can like the music without having to live your life according to that bands ideas...

What is the point of this site?
there is no point... it is for the members to post up their stuff cuz we want to... if people find it funny/amusing then cool... if not then too bad for them they move on... at least we're honest enough to admit that and don't plaster your face with popup ads etc

What should i do if i have an obsession witht the basketball player Yao Ming.... I cant stop thinking about him.. does this make me gay?
no it doesn't... things don't just 'make you gay'... so go on and obsess

I took French for eight years and it's gotten to the point where I just randomly say French words in conversations. I guess that's not such a bad thing...right? McDiablo
no it's not... you can get a better paying job for being billingual...

Are there any famous sock monkeys who have done great things in the past that we should know about? McDiablo
well jocko was a local hero here for awhile... but beyond that i can't really say... most sock monkeys prefer to stay hidden from the public eye for fear of being lit on fire by hate-mongers

My mom claims to like ironing. Is she telling the truth? McDiablo
why would she lie? if she does then great...

What is the crudest thing you ever did?and don't lie!
i'm not really sure... oh no wait... i picked up my little cousin once and her diaper exploded all over me... but that wasn't really something i did on purpose... ummmm... oh yea i shit in a pool once

Why don't you have dessert at breakfast?-NNY
i do... who said i didn't??

Why don't they have Rye pancakes?Grapefruit cookies?Fig icecream?Canteloupe pie?-NNY
who says they don't? make your own!

Do you think they will start to clon dinosaurs ? If they do then that would be good . And plus they would com just back in time for the ozone layer to dissapear and wipe those ugly motherfuckes out again. | Now, Wouldn't that be fun ?-NNY
does your e key only work half the time? (clonE, comE)... sure it'd be fun but i'd rather see the dinosaurs hunt the humans all down and eat them... then they can create shows like 'when humans roamed the earth'

I have a wild superstition that if i drop a spoon , a wild pig will offer to finance my next car. Do you think this will happen,Oh allmighty DC ?
yes actually... it happened to me once and that damned wild pig was a hassle to deal with

Why don't you ever see a smiling Runner? Vile Weasel Squeezer
they're trying to look cool in their outfits and them smiling won't help... in fact i'd be disturbed by a smiling runner...

Isn't Cancer reasearch a growth industry ? Vile Weasel Squeezer
you've been either a) thinking of this for weeks and think its funny or b) heard/saw it somewhere and thought it was funny... either way... thank you drive through

I'm not an organ doner but i once gave a piano to the salvation army. Doesn't that still count?-Vile Weasel Squeezer
no... that's a piano... not an organ

When a lion escapes from a circus in Africa, how do they know when they've caught the right one ? -NNY
well they tag them.. but beyond that... they should let all the lions go... cage up the poachers and let the animals live in peace

Sometimes I sit for hours weighing the fine distinctions among spunk,pluck,balls,nerve,chutzpah,gall,and moxie. Just those seven. Why ? Is it beacause of the bad service at the "Dollar Store" ?- JTHM
yes it is... and badly designed business cards can also be blamed on the dollar store... <shakes fist at dollar stores everywhere>

Carjackings,smash-and-grabs,snipers,home invasions,follow-home-robberies,hostage incidents,barricade/standoff situations,drive-by-shootings,walk-up shooting,traffic shootings,pipe bombs, mail bombs.SHIT! We never had cool crimes like that when i was a kid. All we had was robbery and murder. I feel deprived.You can't blame me: there are so many more ways to kill theese days. I wonder why there wheren't so many ways to have fun when i was younger. Can you explain this to me Mr.DC ? Is it beacause the world is overpopulated and we need more ways to keep the world from overpopulating? Well hell, I think terrorists are good people, they have jobs like normal people; They were put here to keep this world from overflowing with us and our crazy pregnant teenagers, porn movies, cloning devices, and sperm banks. Sperm Banks ! Whats up with them ? Well it's a good way for a bum or a teenagerr to make easy money. Well hell i would like to get paid to whack off in a room ! Well if you where put here not to be able to have childern then thats why they have orphaniges! Fuck who wants a kid anyway? I'd rather skip all the shit and adopt a teenager ! Anyway back to our main subject, killing is alot more fun theese days and thats why there are so many more criminals, rapeists,killers, and pyscos in this world today. Wouldn't you agree ? How did i go from new ways of killing to sperm banks. Well whatever.?-JTHM
sperm banks should be brought down... there are too many people as there is... and there have always been tons of crimes... they just come up with new names for them every once in awhile... there is no more rape.. it's sexual assualt now... and yes... its all just because we're overpopulated and need to bring our population down, or get the hell off this planet (note to aliens: sock monkeys are better then humans so take me away from them all)... the only problem with terrorists is that they end up killing a lot of innocent people instead of the idiots who need to be wiped out...

I don't live in the fast lane, but have you ever seen one of those cars parked on he median with its hood up ?-JTHM
yes i have... in fact sometimes i rent cars and park them there with the hoods up just to remind people that things suck and if they aren't taking care of their cars the engine gremlins will take over... besides... if the weather is nice... we should be riding bikes

What exactly do yuo do when the Dalai Lama appears on "nightline," and you're not satisfied with his answers? JTHM
you tell him to hang up and try his call again... then you tell him that he should go into the fortune cookie business and do a little dance to inspire him

why do you say "pop" instead of "soda"? can't you just conform your language to be like the rest of us so that we know what you are talking about??
why can't you conform yours? maybe i like saying pop cuz its fun and easy to spell

What cell phone should I buy? (Omuletzu)
one that doesn't annoy others by playing stupid songs instead of just ringing

Is family life worth the loss of freedom? (Omuletzu)
it all depends on how fun your family is... it's best to give 1/4 of your time to them... unless they are a cool family... then you can give them 1/3 of your time

Love the new banner! It fits perfectly with the spirit of insanity. Where did you get it from? (Omuletzu)
it's from a picture that jcp took... she has tons of pictures like that... she is thinking of putting them up in my.theinsanedomain.com once it's up and running

Why doesn't anyone give me food? (Omuletzu)
same reason they won't give me money... they are cheap bastards!

k hears a wierd little thing ill let you ponder about...a month ago i found you funny and iv come back and now i dont.-kelllllllyyyyy(could of easily been put in question form but fuck you..you aint funny no more, so i didnt)
thanks for the update... however... i don't care if you find me funny or not...


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