friend tried to set me up with a friend of her friend's, out of
the blue, and for three weeks I did not call or e-mail this person
and now I did and I wish that I didn't now that I've only had
to wait one day so far for a reply. I hate this shit. My friend
"meant well" but, I take it as her and her friend idiotically
amusing themselves with the idea that other people have crotches
in their pants, and could possibly be joined at these parts for
their bored and married, personal amusement. When it seems that
everybody in my life, including my best friends, are painfully
inane, I crawl up, like a sick and shameless user, to the keyboard
and turn to you, sock-monkey, for arbitrary guidance. So, tell
me, do you think that I am entitled to slaughter my friend and
her friend and possibly, even, her friend wildly with a cleaver
for involving me in their schemes? People say, "Oh listen,
it's okay if you're not interested," after they've just hammered
into you about "opportunities" and told you that they've
already told the other person about you and everybody is expecting
your fucken call. It's not okay. Since when has anything like
that sincerely been so simple? Neurosis is the golden mean of
humanity. What if slaughtering my friends isn't so easy? What
if they're large and their skin is tough? I could easily break
into a sweat dismembering them for disposal. Then what? Or if
I start getting sentimental while I'm scooping out their eyes
with whatever's handy, like a garlic press or a melon baller?
Would you help me? All you would have to do is mix the drinks
and wipe a towel across my brow. I like fruity drinks, daquiris
and margaritas. I'll pay for the tequila or whatever, just keep
me focused until the bodies are in the river, or the desert, wherever
you think is best.
sure thing... and friends can be like that if you don't tell them
NOT to ever ever again... people like to play with other peoples
lives... either they're doing it because they're bored with their
own lives or they are doing it because they think you'll get something
good out of it... either way it is annoying... so i'll pour you
all the drinks you want and we'll throw things at my neighbors
kiss my butt?
hell no but you can kiss mine
it take to convince you to come and visit me?
lots of money... some presents and some food
Can I drive
your purple-rayed sofa, just down the little street up to the
cemetery gates? I think the crows would be really impressed. We
could even tie my piano to the back of it, fill it with a couple
of bags of ice and some treats, and use it like a trunk with a
cooler for the couch/car. We have to have a cooler because it's
been hot here, and we don't want the Whoppers to melt. Not the
hamburger kind, the malted chocolate kind. Excellent chaser for
the fungus required on such missions. Already, there's been fifteen
disciples of the All-Seeing -Eye and their moth-eaten, committee
women prowling about with their rubber, butcher gloves and filthy,
little piles of petunias and geraniums, looking to cement their
rape of the land and decorate it with fucking pinwheels and flags.
Any spontaneous intelligence reports on your end? Oh, and can
you bring some cantaloupe and a couple of folding chairs? It might
take a while to drive out the whole parade of bankers, conspirators
and other republican warlocks, and we might want to sit down.
And no, we can't just drive the couch right into the cemetery
because they have it chained off. We'll have to carry our weapons
in, or get some horses or something, maybe a donkey.
i already ate the cantaloupe and i guess i wasn't supposed to
eat it all at once but it tasted so good and the only real report
i have is that the cat keeps sneezing... the trip down the street
was ok and funny enough there really is a cemetary there and kitty
and jim are there
a virgin and you get raped by a sock monkey... are you still a
no because you were raped by the sock monkey but sock monkeys
don't do that and never will... anyone who does should be raped
up the ass with 2x4 that has rusty nails sticking out of it
is FartMonkey. I feel it necessary to tell you this. Recently
I have been just going about my business when there is a strange
light and I am a sock monkey(Normally I am human). This soon wears
off and I return to normal. But this is happening more and more
often and it lasts longer each time. Also constantly have antihuman
thoughts and keep leaving myself post-its such as 'wrap human
in blanket, secure with belts, and shove into commercial airplane
propellors'. Does this mean that I am becoming a sock monkey?
it means that you are evolving to sock monkey... congrats and
enjoy the trip
I am now
a nice female sock monkey with fresh stuffing...I am very interested
in your tail. I also have a wet trembling pussy...all for you.
It was some work giving that cat a bath, i tell you, she nearly
clawed my eyes out and I spent the evening sewing myself back
together. Only, she has been out of the water for six days and
is as wet as the second she came out. I have watched her closely
to see if she is secretly going in the pool. Then I realized that
it was not a cat at all but a pile of monkey feces blowing in
the wind. I am sorry, but I will get you a new kitten! Can you
forgive me? FartMonkey
perhaps if you buy me enough gingerale and rub my tail nicely
I have examined
cheese very closely, and as far as I can tell, it consists of
cheese. I have obtained similar results with celery. Should I
write a book? FartMonkey
i think you should... but be ready to defend your highly controversial
ideas with facts and case studies to back you up
purple frogs all over the ceiling. They urge me to set fire to
things. If I obey they reward me with sugar. Often I find myself
carrying a can of gasoline and plane tickets to a distant country
and cannot remember the last few days. FartMonkey
get an air brush and paint them red... you will find they become
much nicer and reward you with coffee grinds
what's all that noise down th-OH MY GOD SAANMIAL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! THAT WAS MY LAST BASKET OF CHEESE FROM GRANDMOTHER
AND NOW SHE'S DEAD!!!!I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND STICK
IT ON THE TOP OF MY CHIMNEY AND AS FOR YOUR TESTICLES, WELL, YOU
BETTER HOPE T-Oh, it's only you , DC. Sorry! The shadows made
you look twisted and grotesque..now the light is back and I must
say you are quite handsome. Carry on! FartMonkey
this isn't ask sanimal so go away
A leaves three minutes before train B, going 60 mph faster, and
somewhere in Antarctica someone is playing a Wayne Newton record,
and there is a full moon which causes werewolves, but only in
months whose name contains a Z, and the only thing keeping you
alive is crumbs from cookies you had in your pockets last year
that you stole from that old lady that throws onions, and you
divide the sum by X, nobody really gives a rat's ass, do they?
they pretend to but ultimately the answer is no
I was reading
a story about this girl that got horny during class so she took
a test tube (I guess it was science) and stuck it up her pussy
and she was about to orgasm and she saw the teacher coming and
she snapped her legs together which caused the test tube to break
and she had to go to the hospital and get her vagina sewed back
up because there was glass up her pussy and she was screaming
and bleeding in class and she had to explain to the teacher. Wouldn't
that absolutely positivlely suck? Consider adding that to the
list of things that suck?FartMonkey
yes it would suck and let's hope she hurt herself badly enough
not to produce stupid children
your phone up your ass and put it on vibrate?
no i haven't
if i told you then you'd tell everyone and then that would suck
really a name?
sure... so is Xansia
the moon is full and all this green cheese is just sitting around
here, not shining down on me from the sky? It's like seeing Santa
Claus in different department stores as a child , and then trying
to resolve that shit. I'm tired of the mind games!
well being human is all about mind games so either deal with it
or get some puppets to take your rage out on
my glasses everynight before i go to bed, and when i wake up,
there is dirty stuff in the corners of them, although my glasses
are round. can you help me clean them right so they wont get as
dirty as my grandmas 3rd nipple?
you have to leave them soaking in the toilet but be sure to remember
that during nightly pisses
my bag of doritos, and there was this little packet in there next
to the chips. i opened the packet, and to my surprise, i had one
a dollar. have you ever found a dollar in your doritos?
no i haven't but then again no one brings me doritos... so that
is your job now... where are my doritos bitch?
age will my penis start growing? im still in my early teens, but
it is small.
try rubbing it... it will probably get a bit bigger
in my mothers room and she was stripping in front of the ice cream
man. is this normal behavior for a 37 year old women, that is
sure why not... everyone needs to cool down with the ice cream
man every once in awhile
did you lose your virinity?
got with this girl, and she let him finger her, but when he went
to finger her, he missed the hole. after she told him where it
was. dont you think that is funny?
sad more then funny
can i buy
a domain, and name it theinsanedomain.net?
you could but some other fuckup already has it and it sucks
have sex with my 9 year old brother? i already have, so i can
tell you its REAL nice.
all. Kill me. Kill me now. Please? - Fido Dido
i told you... i need the proper paperwork filled out in triplicate
and sent to my lawyer
Why do people
feel the need to call me they're sweet bucket of corn love and
proceed to sodomize me with corn and cover my body with cunt juice?
i'm not sure... is it that you like it and let them do it for
see the question before the one above
was a man name Bruce whose name just happened to be Carl and he
had a cow but we found him with a horse and the cow was there
and that was the first time he ever won a race, he crossed the
finish line and the crowd cheered and he opened fire on peter
pan who killed my granny's sister Elwood the cat. -Jimmy
this isn't a question so shut up jimmy
Do you do
any sort of live performances where you live? I would like to
see you and your associates put on some sort of show--music, comedy,
drama, avante garde, whatever. I see that you have some music
but, I haven't got around to waiting for my slow-ass computer
to download it yet.
well whenever i go out there seems to be a 'live performance'
thing that seems to happen... but offically no and if you would
like to see that kinda thing then please
send us money for a new server and to cover our bandwidth
charges... we do have video but can't do anything with it yet...
and the demodemons is the stuff that is the most insane but you
will probably hate it because it's insane
you want for your birthday?
playstation 2 with grand theft auto 3... um.... some dvds... um...
spawn comic books... um... some books
ever studied a martial art? I see that you have The Art of War
on the reading list. Have you ever read Bruce Lee's "The
Tao of Jeet Kun Do"?
no i haven't actually but i will be at some point hopefully...
and no i haven't read bruce lee's book but i will put it on my
list of books to read
asked you about 5 lire. yes, lire is italian currency, but the
smallest you can get is 50 lire, which is about 2.5 cents. if
you accept lire, then will you accept the indonesian rupee (115
000 rupee equal 1 american dollar). please? - Foetish
ok as long as the <insert currency here> equals 5 canadian
dollars then i will take it... and don't think i won't check to
in the lyrics
to "asshole" by denis leary, it mentions "John
Wayne", "Lee Marvin", and someone else. who is
Lee Marvin, what did/does he do, who is the someone else, what
did/does he do, and do you reckon that one day i'll finally get
my scanner to stop thinking? - Foetish
i don't know actually but i'm sure that someone like empriss nikon
will icq me and tell me what it means so i'll feel smarter
oh where has my little dog gone? Oh where oh where can he be?
i saw him being taken away by a large bee and it looked PISSED
Why is it
that if I were to say to Bob, "Bob, you are a real wise man,"
it would be a compliment, but if I said "Bob, you are a real
wise guy," it would be an insult? Not that people actually
take this statement as an insult anymore, but still?
it's all in the ennuciation of the word 'wise' and your facial
expression... if done correctly you could say it without having
the "Bob" getting offended
babys come from?
mostly from stupid people
If I go
up to my fish tank and scream "YOU LITTLE SUCKERS HAVE TO
STAY IN THERE ALL DAY AND I CAN GO TO THE MOVIES AND I HAVE COMPLETE
CONTROL OVER WHETHER YOU CONTINUE TO LIVE, LOSERS!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!",
will they fly out of the water, enter my body through my nostrils,
and start eating me from the inside out until I am but a pile
they may try but let's face it... fish are lazy
my eyes all watery and my vision blurry? why are there blueish
spots on everything...does my sofa have chicken pox or something?
yes it does... run away! run away!
sniffing sound coming from behind me? i'm scared..hold me.. -
thats me sniffing you...
how do you
'screw someone with a spoon'? - SiNiSTaR
well instead of using normal human items to put inside each other,
you would use a spoon
i overcome my inevitable depression once the world cup is over?
It always happens... i feel so empty afterwards, like it never
happened... *sniff* - SiNiSTaR
oh it happened... just hold tight to the memories
i have nothing
against gay people in fact some of them are good friends o' mine,
but sometimes...when they show me their gay porn, i feel ill.
a guy sucking off another guy and clamping their balls and using
a candle to burn them is just too much, wouldn't you agree? why
don't they leave me alone... ArGhHh!! - SiNiSTaR
bring along some of your own porn and show them... maybe they'll
get the point or just ask them not to show you
don't you hate the kind of gays who are so loud and bitchy and
have arguments in the streets below your window about ripping
their best pants, when all you wanna do is sleep goddammit? -
i hate anyone who gets loud in the streets by my place like those
damn kids who scream and scream and their parents just sit there
like it's ok
those gays are trying to show everyone they don't care, what do
you think? i think they should care JUST a LITTLE bit about how
people do not want to hear about their first fuck and how it went..-
yell at them to shut up... unless you're in their house in which
case you need to leave
stopped me in the streets and asked me why i;m hiding... what
does that mean? hiding from what? - SiNiSTaR
don't pretend you don't know
why do i
get goosebumps every time i think of you? - SiNiSTaR
it's my tail... go on... it's ok to touch it...
serious, how can i stop my sister from being such a bitch? i can't
take it anymore and although i would like to, i can't kill her
as it is illegal and i don't have a place to hide out and live
as a hermit. - SiNiSTaR
make puppets that look like her... slightly change her name to
name the puppet... put on plays in your room loud enough for her
to hear... do not portray her nicely... then hang the puppet from
your ceiling... repeat
think Pinhead from Hellraiser is sexy? All those pins coming outta
his head, oh my god they make me very horny - SiNiSTaR
i hate to admit it but i haven't seen hellraiser... but i know
what guy you are talking about and it looks cool
say 'bull dyke', what exactly do they mean? is it like rosie o'donell
or whut? - SiNiSTaR
i don't know and i don't think rosie is as fat as a bull
track record, wouldn't you have thought I'd've come up with another
good question by now? - Mzebonga
well yes but that's ok cuz you've had that whole thing with the
cats to deal with... i heard you did well and will be able to
join me in the cat administration offices once they take over
If I move
my arm - like this -and twist my leg -like this - and then wiggle
my hips about - a bit like this - do you think my girlfriend will
orgasm? - Mzebonga
i think so... but frankly i think she likes it when you use your
fingers and mouth a bit more
'Nightmare on Elm Street'? Don't you think thats some scary shit?
bits of it and i thought it was funny
your tail stuck between the elevator doors?
yes sometimes... and damn that is annoying
you SEE that? What the hell was that??FartMonkey
it was my brain leaving for the weekend
dust come from? FartMonkey
Do you feel
murderous rage towards people who constantly say "I told
you so"? How about "Talk to the hand", "Hands
are not for hitting", or "You ####### freak, put that
corpse in the river before somebody finds it"?
yes i do
weather really caused by? FartMonkey
me and my mood swings
isnt a question i just wanted to warn peoples that if you have
a realy bad hangover dont catch slugs and shove them up yur ass
you're lucky you mentioned slugs... but damint people ASK QUESTIONS
ITS GOT ME DC HELP ME JUST AS I HAVE ALWAYS FEARED THE CATS HAVE
COME FOR ME WHAT SHOULD I DO DC HELPPPPP
try the slugs up your ass and see if that helps
down all the commercials during all the time I am watching tv.
Then I hang a chart on the refrigerator showing which kind of
commercial is the most common, second common (car, then lawyer,
suprised?),etc. Am I crazy yet? Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that
I am very very against pens so I write this information with my
own blood and/or feces.
that is very interesting... be sure to keep on with your project...
then take note of the sexist ones... the ones that outright lie...
the ones that make up shit like '7 signs of aging' and such shit...
which has 'normal' looking people in it instead of toothpicks
and jock assholes... i would like to see the results
have the urge to fling your feces at other people? Or do you openly
do this? Are you flinging your fecal matter whilst answering this
yes i do... sometimes i do do this... and yes of course
wish that you could trace back all those stupid chain emails that
say if you are the true friend of the person that sent it you
will send it back and to 10 other people back to the person who
started it and tie them up and set them on fire after removing
their eyes and various vital organs with tweezers from a swiss
army knife? FartMonkey
i would like to stop spam in all it's many forms by doing that
to the people who send it
the stem on the cherry blaster candy taste like the main cherry
it doesn't you just think it does
Why is that
comb missing so many teeth? Vista
i broke it for being bitchy
a blank....what should I ask you? Vista
ask me about my dad forcing me to take the one thing i learnt
in highschool that i have used almost every day since... typing...
yes on those old electric typewriters like my mom still uses...
he forced me to take it in grade nine saying i would thank him
later... yea so he was right... i took it and got over 90 in it
even though i got bored and typed letters about the teacher being
a vampire and sucking the life out of us students and one day
while typing one she came and yanked the paper out of my typewriter
and then yelled at me for what i was writing and demanded an apology
repeating in her high voice "THIS ISN'T FUNNY! THIS ISN'T
FUNNY!"... but damn i do a lot of typing in a day
If a cow
laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
if you laugh real hard does piss come out of yours?
Why is there
an eject button on the VCR remote?
so you can dazzle your pets with your 'magic powers'
Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked
when someone threw a gun at him?
getting hit with a gun hurts
If all those
psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still
they are LIARS
If a cat
always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter
side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top
of a cat?
the world would end... cotton candy everywhere would turn orange
and all books would be missing page 29
color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
why do you
rock my socks?
it's the tail baby
people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done
wiping their ass?
they feel it... maybe lick it... sniff it...
how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol
if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
go somewhere else until it tells you it's ok... or ship it away
and have someone open it for you then return it
seeing a lot of sock monkeys lately! Are you trying to take over
the Earth or something? (Omuletzu)
yes but only to hand over to the cats
people so greedy? (Omuletzu)
humans suck... they are greedy... inconsiderate... rude... small
minded and bad drivers
for an international multi-million dollar Miami-based fast food
Burger company deemed a disgrace by your good self? Mr H
not if you spend your pay on antisocial items
the girl who sings my neck my back Dead it is a rumor?
hell no... ask the green rock and it will show you the way
fear the hooded figures that gather round my house at night? FartMonkey
yes... yes you should
If you pull
your tail up front between your legs can you use it like a penis?
yes have you not seen my
why the hell 'head over heels' is a valid expression? If I am
built like everyone else, my heels are down there and my head
is up here so aren't we all head over heels all the time except
possibly freaks doing yoga?FartMonkey
it is due to people being stupid and tumbling into things without
thinking... at least that's how i take head over heels... a tumbling
into a deep pit sorta thing
I went TO
crazy LAND and I ate IT all AND the GUY came OUT and BEAT me WITH
a STICK and THEN i ATE him TOO and JUST then I got THIS craving
FOR celery WHAT the HELL was THE point OF this STORY ????
there was no point and you get no points for sharing that with
you get to be so fabulous?
its the tail and my cheery outlook on life
have you been a vegetarian?
about a year and a half
so hard that the G force of their collective sucking is about
to rip my face off and flush it into oblivion. What kind of cream
or strap-on restraint do you, personally, recommend to prevent
this from happening?
nothing will prevent it... it will just make it take longer...
and i use yarn
Do you realize
how much joy you bring to my shriveled, little, misanthropic heart?
Naturally, only so much fits but, thanks for your contribution.
how about you send me gifts to thank me? or send me little poems
about your table... oh no wait that would suck... little poems
Is it wrong
to put a hamster in the microwave? I'm just keeping the little
yes it is
Bush vs Bill Clinton in a fight. Who would win?
neither they would just yip about fucking nothing cuz both would
be too scared to fight...
art thou, Romeo? FartMonkey
I am a sock monkey for good. I have been one for 49 hours without
any change. My cats seem to like me a lot more this way. Normally
they just come for food then wander off for hours. Now they stick
close to me. They really are anti-human! I have three of them.
Their names are Randy and Cody. Can you foretell their position
in the cat-world of the near future? Will my treatment be less
horrible in any way since I am a sock monkey and not a human now?
yes they are... sock monkeys are the cats friends so things will
be much better
came off and started biting me in the ass .Is this normal? FartMonkey
well not really but there's nothing you can do
Do you also
feel murderous rage towards people who severely overuse commas?
A comma is not necessary between every lousy word!!FartMonkey
yes, i do, though sometimes i wonder, is it all really ok? i'll
go hide in the dunes by the seaside
do you like
sabby?you know sabby hes that german wrestler who sing constantly
and spends all day on the computer?God...he pisses me off...HES
the dude that hangs with homestar...
no i don't like wrestling
If you stuff
gum up your ass and fart, can you blow a big bubble?
i haven't tried... can YOU?
you remove the part under the logo , 'Where insanity runs rampant
and so can you'? It gives the feel of one of those stupid ameture
sites where they are trying so hard to be funny but its not. This
is a great site, and I feel that it does not belong? How about
'No sanity beyond this point'?
how about you just stop trying to be bossy... i think you're right
so i'll bring it up with jcp but that doesn't mean that you people
can start giving us 'tips' all the time
John said Paul to George Where'd my Ringo?
<sound of me bitch slapping you>
don't bother, just delete this one, OK? FartMonkey
what? oh yea ok i will
Why is it
difficult to urinate after masturbation?FartMonkey
bodies are strange things
of creating a whole lotta pollution and oil spills and all that,
why don't they just make a gigantic boat that runs on baking soda
like the ones you stumble upon in cereal boxes? FartMonkey
good idea.. you make plans for those kind of ships and then build
them and make lots of money
In the page
that you go to after submitting a question, there are the four
pictures of you. The two on the left are staring to the right
and the two to the right are staring to the left. Is there an
invisible being in the center that only you can see? FartMonkey
i can't tell you... if you can't see it then you never will
a threat? FartMonkey
or not to pee? FartMonkey
i say pee but not in the plants...
you add to your list of people/things that suck: Elvis impersonators-
graduation ceremonies wherein you have to wait to clap for your
person, whose last name is Zygren-infomercials where they WILL
NOT tell you the price-Regis Philbin/the Millionaire show -shelves
of decorative boulders crashing down upon you? FartMonkey
how about you send them in once we have my.theinsanedomain.com
I know all
to well that birds are capable of depositing fecal matter anywhere,
but do birds urinate? If they do, where is the evidence? Huh??FartMonkey
they just release their shit.. it contains all their excess stuff
but i don't think birds 'drink' like we do to produce urine
Do you wish
that this question were not here because you have a headache or
a hangover and there are just so many damn questions to answer?
Just be a good sock monkey and delete it, huh? That's better..
there were over a hundred questions to answer... OVER A HUNDRED...
my shoulder is sore now
we all get mesmerized by this question and answer pendulum, the
cats sneak right up onto the keyboard and trample out the transefer
of all human assets to their Liberation Front Treasury and then
ASufgewuguiqde49994uuu23u@999999 99 w, righihttrrrrii iigth?,
rrr rt!?! he llplp elpp ?
the cats will bury you alive in the kitty litter mines to die
a slow death
be pretty? Will I be rich? Is the future ours to see? FartMonkey
whatever will be... will be...
where IS my car? FartMonkey
ok i'm going to hunt your sorry ass down and beat you in a non-fun
monkey head logo signify that sock monkeys do have teeth? Or is
that a non-sock monkey? FartMonkey
that is just a crazy monkey not a sock monkey... if you've seen
both naked you'll understand
how I said that FrogBladder was my sister? Well it was me...I
just thought it was stupid, and I greatly preferred Fart Monkey..can
you forgive me? Also I just discovered that I got a good question
award for the What If, so thanks for that. FartMonkey
so you're lying now? i see how this is... you better clutch that
award tight while you sleep
the name for the little thing above your lip and below your nose?
Am I getting
warmer or colder?FartMonkey
hell should I keep sucking up to you?You're a fuckin asshole.
it's the drugs i've secretly been putting in my emails to you...
you are addicted and there is no way out
that my cat Randy is posessed by Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons.
What should I do to tell for sure? FartMonkey
I just realized
something, tell me if you agree! Guns do not kill people, you
just happen to spontaneously combust when you pull the trigger!
Nobody has ever witnessed the effects of firing a gun! Everybody
involved combusts! Im way in over my head FartMonkey
yes you are ... i say stick to the jello shapes
the purpose of those little things people put on their desks to
look smart? Those things with the metal balls that bang against
eachother in a rythmic fashion? Are those just there to irritate
it is there to distract you from their stupidity... or to distract
the stupid from bugging them
you happy now?FartMonkey
no i'm getting cranky actually
list all the cuss words for me? The ones I already know are ass,
fuck, bitch, damn, bastard, hell sometimes.
no get your own
you actually do to sanimal if torture and death was legal? Here,
pretend Im sanimal. What would you say? What would you do? FartMonkey
i'd say nothing just slit your throat open and watch as you bled
to death... i don't demand anything more
I go? What shall I do? FartMonkey
go to the bank... get money and send it to me for answering all
know there is this guy who can make detailed sculptures of animals
out of chewing gum, using only his teeth and tongue? - SiNiSTaR
sounds like he has found his unique skill
How do you
tell someone that they have excessive ear wax? - SiNSTaR
you have to yell it.. otherwise they won't hear you... maybe email
them about it
if a person
has a hundred piercings in their head/face alone, does that make
them a sponge?
no... if they absorb a lot of water quickly then yes
mail, will you accept lots of colored paper and shiny things instead
of five dollars? FartMonkey
yes but you won't get anything sent back to you
i do when a pervert on the street says to me "wow, what big
breasts!"? shall i just walk off, or say something to him?
this has happened a few times and once i asked the guy to watch
his mouth...was that the right thing to do? - SiNiSTaR
say 'yea... and before the operation i was a man too.' or 'you
say that once more and i'll have you charged' or 'shut the fuck
up santa i told you i'm not sitting on your knee anymore' or light
off fireworks into his face
You have got a LOT of explaining to do! Well? What do you have
to say for yourself? And no more of that 'I was under a curse'
the cows told me to do it...
why do people
like pigeons so much? i fucking hate them and want them to DIE!!!
i don't know anyone who likes them
has not answered questions since May 25. Tell me the truth. I
can take it. Is he dead? No?Dammit. PUT THE BEER AWAY GUYS!!!
we're not that lucky... and he doesn't answer them because he
WHY did she cut off their tails with a carving knife? FartMonkey
she is mean
that thing that is there for some reason and then it goes away
Can I rub
your tail? Let me rub it and you can have a nice shiny quarter!
yes and send me the quarter
vu mean you did the exact same thing in some other life? Speaking
of former lives, i think its obvious that Al Gore was, at some
point, a slab of Formica. FartMonkey
no and he was a small small rock
if you could
take the limbs/organs of 5 people to a desert island, what would
the organs/limbs be, from who, and why? - Beck
i'd take the organs of vegetarians and eat them
How to make
chew sticks for humens ?
it's called chewing gum
i find that it's mostly an illusion... like those things in the
skies that shoot stuff but then when it hits you there is nothing
and there you are just standing there like a fool
describe some critical disappointments in life that led to your
current level of Mastery in Despair?
well my birth was particularily disappointing... i was expecting
more somehow... then there was school and humans just suck so
that was a let down... then i moved out and that's fine but there's
all this cleaning to be done... i mean who has time to do dishes
more then once a month?
everything take so stinking long to load? FartMonkey
well that all depends... perhaps your brain processes things slower
then you'd like... perhaps your internet connection sucks... perhaps
you're downloading large pages like some of those at this site...
either way i say you get some socks that can show you 'the way'
how you vomit and what causes it, excluding the sight of Britney
Spears, Sanimal, etc. FartMonkey
well everything just sorta seizes up and shoots out anything in
me that shouldn't be... the main cause of this would be alcohol...
besides this stress can cause it... bad cheese... cat food...
I got so many stinky monkey ass awards? FartMonkey
well you see when a bunch of questions are asked and a bunch of
them suck you tend to get those awards... i mean i had to sit
there for over a fucking hour answering them so you just deal
On the link
to this part of the site it says "go to the form and ask
away until your keyboard breaks..." Don't you mean forum?
no i mean the form in which you fill out... a forum would mean
that i let you people post directly
real name? - Waxter
Why is it
that sports personalities are always put on those stupid ads?
It's so annoying! I mean, sure, they may be great at what they
do, and whatching them play football or tennis or whatever may
be a good passtime, but do they really have to be broadcast all
around the world endorsing stupid products in stupid ads? Why
can't we keep people in the feild they specialise in? - Waxter
they sell out to the highest bidder... they are commercial whores
and i say boycot those companies...
was a man who lived in a shoe, how big would the shoe be? -Bearded-
well that all depends on how large the man was, how much stuff
he had... if he had a lot of money to afford an expensive shoe...
either way i think solar power is the way to go
do you like
well i'm not a fan of beards so i'd say no
i know im
new. but there's something about you that just makes me come back.
it's like pickled ginger. -Bearded-
this isn't a question... since you're new i'll help you out...
in this section of the website you ask questions and i answer
them... in other parts you just sit there and read... other parts
you can look at things while touching yourself... either way there
is a lot of red and black... now next time you have no reason
not to ask a question
why is it
some people dont open their eyes fully? they sort of have this
half-open, half-closed look. doesn't that scare you a little?
sometimes... other times i slap them and scream "you damn
maylar! get off this planet!" and since i've foiled their
plans (they say 'damn sock monkey... foiled my plans.') they shoot
off into space with my umbrella and so i stand there in the rain
we ever stop seeking knowledge? -Bearded-
many people never start this search... but hopefully i won't stop
until i'm dead... there is no point if you're not learning anything
why is it
that rabbit poop smells worse than chicken poop?-Bearded-
rabbits eat better stuff... chickens are fed really nasty things
(then you eat them and eat it too) but anyways rabbits do it on
purpose to piss you off
if you are
constantly hanging around people who are seemingly insane, does
that make you insane too? -Bearded-
no that makes you the designated sane person who is responsible
for bringing enough underwear for everyone
how do you
cure an hungover cow? i
meant a hungover cow...-bearded-
well cows don't get drunk... but for those that are posing as
cows... i'd suggest a toothpick
sock monkeys are there on earth now? -Bearded-
i can't tell you that... partly because i don't want to and partly
because of that offensive yellow color in that painting over the
are three pom pom girls dancing outside my room, does that mean
that your last night with me has side effects? -Bearded-
yes of course... that and the sofa cushions that seem to be hovering
by your door
do you have
anything against gay people?
i have something against everyone in general... but no specific
'anything' towards gay people... for those that haven't noticed
this about me... i dislike humans... i don't care what body color
they are... what crap that goes on in their heads or anything
unless they inflict it upon me in some way... i find individual
reasons to hate individual people...
of toothpaste. Is it socially acceptable to use ground up Mentos
as a tooth-care substitute? -Skittles
well i haven't asked anyone that to see if it's socially acceptable
but society sucks so do what you want... but don't buy mentos
their commercials make me want to hurt myself... find another
If you could
rape anyone on this planet, and not get found out... A) would
you rape anyone? and 2) if so, who would you rape? - Fido Dido
no i wouldn't i think rape is among the highest degrees of stupidity
for humanity... anyone who does rape should be tortured slowly
to death... there are billions of people on the planet and i'm
sure that there is SOMEONE out there willing to fuck you instead
of forcing someone
you more questions than that... This damn form keeps eating my
questions... Or is it that you just don't like me? - Fido Dido
perhaps you're not asking questions? perhaps you're not typing
them in properly? why not just type a bunch in at once... just
add - Fido Dido to the end of each one...
dog fart sluts?
i'm not sure but i'm sure it wouldn't smell very good
Monkey Stories.. they bring a tear to my eye... I think I'm gonna
cry now.. can I have a hug? - Fido Dido
ok but don't be touching my tail unless i say it's ok to
I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me? - BPD
well if you like the dolphin then go ahead... but otherwise i'd
suggest using the 'let's be just friends' speach
How do you
describe colors to a blind man?
you can't if he has been blind since birth... or if he doesn't
have recollection of ever seeing them
your load on a womans face nesseccery? even if she doesnt know
if she doesn't mind then why should you? perhaps she doesn't want
it in her mouth...
If you had
a choice to either 1: kill all of your enimies or 2: Horribly
embarrass them infront of a crowd whitch would you choose?
to truly satisfy me i'd want their existance removed... but if
forced to choose i'd choose death...
who do drive
thru windows at banks have briale on the buttons? And dont say
so they can walk thru cuz ive never seen a person walk up to the
bank window. not a blind man any ways
i have answered this before... and i know everyone thinks this
is a witty question but let's face it... the 'drive through bank
makers' just make these things for the majority of it's use and
that would be those that you walk to... and since they are being
correct in having braille on it that is how the buttons are made...
so why would they take the extra time and money to NOT have them
on some of them? it just wouldn't be cost effective...
there is a page for good questions? us manic depressive fish who
constantly get monkey butt awards deserve some credit. i think
u should make a page with just monkey butt awards. and put this
question on top.
if you send me money to answer your stupid questions then i will...
but i am not going to give you people who get stinky butt awards
a special page... those questions suck enough as it is
wants to meet you. he says he likes sock monkeys. do u want my
well i'd have to meet it first...
the vaguely round-shaped red marshmallows in Lucky Charms supposed
to be? FartMonkey
i think they are balloons? i have no idea cuz i don't eat that
shit... ever since that whole 'yellow moon' incident things just
haven't been the same between us
Do you know
SG* aka Sex God?
no i don't
happend to Vanilla Ice? - BPD
no idea.. probably off thinking 'damn i shouldn't have spent all
my money on bullshit cuz i was a one hit wonder and i'll never
see that kinda money again'
Why do I
hate children, and people in general?
children are annoying because they are brought up by people in
general and those people generally suck
we here almighty sock monkey??morbidly_psychotic
to live then die...
on technically monday (by 29mins).. what do i watch on tv? -Miss
voyager... undergrads... quads... whatever is on
I keep forgetting
to come here and ask you questions.. is my memory failing me cuz
of my old age? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes it is... and you've grown tired of my tail haven't you...
just because i let you touch it too much.. i knew this would happen
is back from her trip.. how cool is that? - Miss Roger's Sweater
cool but would be very cool if you gave me some ice cream
I just looked
to my left.. there's a slurpee cup with melted slurpee in it and
in front of it is a bottle of tacky glue.. which do i drink? -
if the tacky glue is chilled then i'd go for that... if not i
say you mix them together
a (actual size) guitar out of popsicle sticks.. is it about time
for me to get out of the house and finally find myself a job?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
i would have to say yes... but only to finance your guitar making
why is it
my car is making funny noises? -Bearded-
turn down the damn stereo
of jobs have you had?
factory... IT office job... computer retail store manager... accounting...
website designer... technical support
do all birds
have feathers? -Bearded-
no but some feathers somehow find birds and poke into them
if one day
i woke up and i was no longer the person i was and have no idea
who i will be, what does that make me and how will i ever find
you will always be you and just adapt when the body changes...
i was a daisy for a week once
why is it
when it comes to a point where i'd have to choose to feel depressed
or feel happy i choose depression? is it because it's so much
easier to feel sad and involves much more effort to be perky?
it's easier to do nothing then something... and if you're not
perky then fine don't fake it... i say you send me some money...
maybe a few stories and we'll both feel better but not 'normal'
cuz 'normal' sucks
ever been to the land of the Lampoolachunks? Mr H.
no but i've heard good things
is South and East is West and West is East and South is North..what
is 2+2? Richard
it's a cooler full of stinky water from a camping trip taken a
few weeks ago
it's that thing i did that one time but it didn't work out so
i slapped some black paint on it
a Mr. Darcy or a Mr. Collins? Richard
i have no idea what you're talking about but i'm a dc the sock
It's a bird!
It's a plane! It's a...?????????? Richard
it's a cloud.. i'm not going through this again with you...
Why do I
have a headache? Where is the Advil? McDiablo
it's all those books you've been 'scratching and sniffing'...
and i ate them
first? What's on second? I Don't know is on third?? McDiablo
i say everyone should get the hell off the field... start a bake
sale or something useful
that flashing orange thing at the bottom of my screen? Aliens?
Bill Gates spying on me?? McDiablo
a bit of both actually
Do you enjoy
rasberries or any delisous fruits? If so, do you enjoy them frozen,
dry, juicy, wet, smushed, gooey or hard? I enjoy mine wet and
juicy and sometimes frozen...;)-kkkkeeelllllyyyy
i like raspberries... strawberries.. peaches... some oranges...
pineapple... cantaloupe and honeydew melons are good... watermellons...
fresh of course for all... i can handle blueberries only if they
are baked into muffins or something... i like green seedless grapes
but hate the purple grapes... frozen bannanas are ok...
really just a cast of dead frozen peoples feet? and each 'shoe
making place' has one dead frozen person for each size? If so,
Do you know any place i could give my body to after im dead...please,
Im a very strong beliver that feet should be hiden from the world...
yes they are and simply fill out the proper information the next
time you get your liscene renewed (or when you get it depending
on your age)
my butt jiggle so loudly?actually, why must my butt jiggle at
well if you stopped wearing those bell outfits then the jiggling
would be less loud... and if you don't like it bike everywhere
instead of walking...
If you are
infact a demons child.. Does that mean satan is an sockmonkey?
(sorry if you have recieved this question before.. best i could
think of...please dont shout at me...)-kkkkellekelkYY
no because i'd have to believe in a god to believe in a devil...
and it's just a nickname of course... my real name is 'Ruler of
the Sock Monkey Tribe from planet 2821'
gotten a death threat in your snail mail yet? If so, I'd take
it serious..If i were yOU!~!!!!hhahahahrhahharshghahHAGFHHEHAHFhrhAAHAHA..HWAW..ooo
no i haven't and i checked today... you might want to send another
dont i have
the most cutest laugh?
i'm going to go with no
any GOOF sites?
no idea what you're talking about
your Canada Day?-Feckur
it was hot... i sweated a whole lot for my country
yes and i currently am employeed
what about you? oh i see.. here i'm sorry i didn't notice your
glass was empty
of the lucky ones ,I got out right? Sally
of course... escape is not for everyone
Do you have
a girlfriend yet?
do stalkers count? if so then yes
your virginity at 16 are you mad?
i wasn't at the time... and i'm ok with it now so no... no madness
sweetheart ana going? Tell ana her aussie pussycat friends angelina
and jengo are great and are always upto mischief. Also when is
ana doing another photoshoot and has she been up to any mischief?
ana is laying in the sun at the moment on her back... she is asleep
and very happy... she was ripping up tissue paper the other day...
went out on the porch for awhile... general cat things... bitched
at me... when she wakes i will inform her about your cats... she
is jealous because they have a big home to run around in while
she's in an apartment! perhaps she will do a photoshoot soon...
i will be sure to send you any pictures from it even if it doesn't
Do you take
money orders for the insane snail mail?
was it wrong
of me to laugh when i watched the exorcist? all my friends looked
at me like i was nuts, i'm sorry i do not find it scary i just
think it's funny, what with all the jesus-fucking and pissing
and vomiting... - SiNiSTaR
no if you thought it was funny then laugh... it was funny
i checked out those 'hanz files' MP3s and i must say there's at
least i don't know, 2 or 3 songs that sound the same, and then
i can barely hear what the fuckers are saying! all i heard was
'you're a bastard, you're a bastard'. what's the fucking deal
here? - SiNiSTaR
haha it's INSANITY... each time you listen you'll hear something
you didn't before and go 'what the fuck?'
i am ehh hee hee i'm going crazeee...hee...i need ahh...i need
football... where's the fucking FA cup... shiitt...where's the
freaking spanish football... feed me...feed...ahh, feed me. Please?
there is no such thing as Kroslarsriwels
books you can recommend? I am in the mood for some reading, baby.
well i've been reading DUNE but beyond that then anything asimov
wrote if you like scifi.... douglas adams always rocks
i eat for dinner? i can't think of anything and i am not too hungry
i just dont wanna wake up in the middle of the night with a hankering
for a hot tub or something... - SiNiSTaR
i want pizza damnit... and one of those kiddie pools in my livingroom
so i can sit in it while i watch tv and have my pizza
you do if you can't laugh with or at them, because they have absolutely
no discernable sense of humor, not even a shitty, simple one that
a young adolescent might have or a vegetative scrap of one that
might be found in a greeting card, --and you work with them, and
quitting your job isn't immediately realistic? I could laugh "at"
them at first but, really, it's just not funny anymore.
get a different job... then you don't have to deal with those
people... if not then start using a puppet to talk to them...
they'll leave you alone then
you are truly insane to the point where you can't read your rules?
well then i'd be too busy chewing on the keys from my keyboard
the meaning of life? some bitch
to live and die... and of course... 42
give me directions to your house? some bitch
ask that chick that follows me all the time
cn two men's
cocks enter a pussy at the same time and explode to gether?
i'm sure it's been done
you do this past Canada Day? McDiablo
sweated... hung out with some people... sweated
Sweater and I are up at 9am...this is a normal occurance for me,
but for her it's tough. What should I do to wake her up? McDiablo
coffee... a bitch slap... a puppet show... a stirring rendition
of 'twinkle twinkle little star'
I am going
on a hike today. Seeing that I don't enjoy hiking all that much,
what can I do to take my mind off of it? McDiablo
get something to distract you... like beer or pot and just enjoy
being drunk or high while tumbling over rocks and into trees
Why is Aunt
Flo such a bitch?? McDiablo
just be happy she only visits once a month
20 hours from when? - Mzebonga
from when i typed it.. but since you don't know when that was
it's great cuz there is no way to verify that information in any
usuable way... why not just say 'to be updated soon'? or something...
well that would be too easy now wouldn't it
Do you like
orgy?i like orgy...
tail turn you on?it turn me and lotsa people on..hehehe
yes it does and you can touch it if you'd like
can you play with your balls for?
well that all depends on what type of balls i'm playing with...
those big bouncy ones are amusing for awhile while those small
super bouncy ones are kind of annoying and i can't resist just
whipping them at someone
if a girl
walked up to you on mainstreet threw you down and started fucking
you would you yell rape???
no i'd pry her off of me... ask her a few questions to determine
if she's diseased or not and then decide what to do from there...
i'd let her rub my tail for sure though
cats have done a photo shoot and when I get them delveloped would
you like to see them? Sally
sure your cats are cool
I just wanted
to let Bearded know that we all have this obsession with DC but
he can get over it with lots of help from red jubies and being
tied to chair, right DC?Sally
of course... oh and some tv shows on ways the world will end
Do you know
who your stalker is? Its not me honest. Sally
well i know of one of them...
down your pants and that's ok with me
ready for the riots and the looting?
i've always been ready but i'd be getting rid of stuff instead
ask the orgiganal Orgy question, but you so rock for likeing Orgy,
they're my favorite. What's you'r favorite Orgy song? -Sparkle
hmmm i don't know but right now Eva is playing... i like that
I hate Deadsy
or however the fuck they spell their name (Fun fact: I'm drunk
weeeeeeeeeeeee). They sound like Orgy but with fuckin crappy lyrics.
I hate it when bands turn origelality into a formula. what do
you think of them? - Sparkle Pixie (ps: I sooo can't spell right
i had a few of their mp3s but deleted them... i don't like them
i don't have a beard. so now do you like me? -Bearded-
if you rub my tail and promise not to grow a beard then yes
this question before and i was stumped. will you answer it seriously?
please? "if ignorence is bliss, then why do we seek knowledge?"
well it's not truly bliss... humans are curious by nature and
bliss can be quickly turned into hell...
How do I
get the Siamese cat to stop howling at my cat from outside at
7 in the morning?
well my parents put their cats in the laundry room at night (with
blankets, kitty litter, water/food dish, nightlight) so that they
don't run around or cry at night... perhaps you should try that...
siamese cat cries are LOUD and annoying...
I know lotsa
people w/ blue eyes. i HATE them all. Why??????? some bitch
its the smell
do you have
any brothers? what are their names? some bitch
i have herbert... and a few other brothers and sisters...
i cut my
hand with a piece of glass and i couldn't stop looking at it until
it stopped bleeding. Why do I have an obbsession w/ blood? what
should I do about it? some bitch
it's the cool red color... i say collect it in a jar and seal
it up so you can always look at it
there so many anti-depressants for sale on TV?
they are trying to convince you that everyone should be happy
and instead of making changes in your life you can just pop a
pill and somehow that is different then taking pot or some other
drug because it comes in a nice little package... only those with
chemical inbalances should be taking that stuff... the rest of
the population taking that should FIX their problems instead of
just hiding the symptoms with chemicals
dried blood look like chocolate milk? -Sammy
i'm not aware of it doing that
Do you agree
with this? "Only stupid people breed, because they have nothing
better to do." Because it REALLY seems to be the case, at
least around here with the stupid little kids always running around...
not ONLY stupid people breed but MOST stupid people do the breeding...
they do it because they don't think that maybe they should have
their life in order or have something to offer the kids before
breeding... don't get me started on this because MOSTLY the wrong
people are breeding and don't treat their kids right then wonder
why 'society' is going to hell
i want to
kill my cousin. should i be worried about my mental health? or
should i only be worried when i actually kill him? some bitch
i say just ignore/avoid until it's too much... i'd be worried
when all the paintings you see start to look like him
please send me a e-mail with picture of you bottum
hell no look at it
If you can't
beat them, but don't want to join them, what should you do? -
leave them in a pool of lava
towards or out of a seat at a stadium or cinema, is it proper
to walk past the other people presenting to them your crotch or
your ass? - Waxter
depends on how cute they are and if they look 'receptive'... i
slap everyone's face with my tail
or any other sock monkey had their tail cut off and had to sew
it back on?And how?-Skittles
yes my brother herbert did but he's ok now
khia lyrics for her album "thugmisses" be available
next week but then again i'm lying
T.I. made a video yet ?
who what? nevermind i don't care
quick, but am I much faster? McDiablo
mostly except for that time you were having issues with gravity
Tour message board is down. I am absolutely addicted to that board...what
should I do now? McDiablo
i say you write stories about your time with the board and read
this site until it's back online
of Warped Tour, I was planning on wearing clothes to it...should
I go for it or just go without wearing any? McDiablo
well make sure you wear underwear... CLEAN underwear or your mom
will be terribly embarrased if you get in an accident
Kermit were getting down and maybe even dirty in those pictures...are
you guys just friends? McDiablo
yes we're just fuck friends... he's easy and green
it be Loverly?
oh ever so
insaity appears to be a satisfying occupation; however, one wonders
if you would find it more rewarding too apply your richly developed
B.Sing skills in the field of politics? - Richard
politics is too insane and contains mostly lies... i prefer to
stay away... however if you vote for me i'll send you a cookie
Dare? - R
truth... at least that way i won't end up naked in the streets
singing 'for he's a jolly good fellow'
you think of the show "trading spaces"?-Berpee
as if i know what you're talking about... but if i did then i'd
say that doug is a stupid fuck and i'd kill him if he even got
close to my place...
should i watch tonight? Any suggestions?-Berpee
pick from some of the movies
kids run-on batteries?
if you stop feeding them they stop
Why is that
if you sleep from 5am-10am people who sleep from 10pm-8am think
you're lazy if they're lazy?
i don't know... everyone has different schedules and i say you
tell those people to shut the hell up
favorite band? whats ur least favorite band...and would you sadisticly
remove thier hearts if you could...speaking of nsnyc...
hmmm... favorite is hard to choose... my favorite vocalist is
mike patton... i guess mr bungle is my favorite band... and since
brittney and nsync don't count as bands because they play no instruments
i would have to say that i dislike oasis the most... they should
die screaming with sharp objects in their heads
is peace this is my hour, can i get just a little bit of power?
um no enough of that
can you hear me? have a heart oh come get near me, misery is not
my friend but i break before i bend. what i see is insanity. whatever
happened to humanity? whatever happened to humanity? whatever
happened to humanity? - SiNiSTaR
enough with whatever lyrics you're ripping off
contacts would be cool? i don't wanna get anything too boring
like blue or brown but i don't want anything too freakish like
this neon green a guy i know wears... - SiNiSTaR
red is cool... or black... or a dark orange... better yet send
your money to me
DC... HAHAH!!! that made me fuckin' laugh.. but seriously, don't
you think the sentence "woah, this shit is messed up son"
is funny? - SiNiSTaR
no i don't actually
a juicy question but why does sound come out of your nose when
you hum? Try this, hum while pinching your nostrils closed. You'll
hear yourself humming for about a second. Then suddenly, Whammo..
The noise hits your closed nostrils. It goes back through your
nose and whether or not it makes it past your throat depends on
how well your nose hairs can keep sound from traveling. So if
someone told you that they ate a song don't call them a fat liar
because thery're not lying. They hummed every note to the song
and it hust went back to their stomache. Instead, just make fun
of them for having thin nostril hairs. Do you ever try to match
the breathing pattern with the person sleeping next to you?
thanks for that info... and yes sometimes... other times i kick
them and tell them to stop it
2 of your 30 pages. I'm wondering why you allow questions such
as "hey dc what's my question?" and rantings about cheese
or any other obsessions that were funny in the 6th grade and the
sixth grade only on your site. I can't really say that most of
the qestions are stupid just that some of the ones I read have
as much creativity as something with no creativity at all. I give
you props for taking as many stupid questions as you do and then
adding a very funny response . How long does it usually take you
to come up with answers to our questions? Just for clearification,
I'm not asking how long it takes you to respnd but how long, once
you've read the question, does it take you to get an answer? Do
you ever come up with two answers and don't know which to post?
When I argue with myself I just have spitting contests with other
people pretending to be my debating self to determine who's right.
Anyone who has a spitting contest by themselves has no idea what
they're missing. --hasvient
i usually spend a few seconds to a minute on an answer depending
on how much of answer i think it deserves... i have indeed let
a lot of shit on here but hey... i just type whatever comes into
my head at the time right after i read the question...
why do so
many people smoke pot? i mean it seems like everybody does it
even people you dont think do it? why i think it's gross
i don't see a problem with it as long as people don't let it control
their lives... same goes for drinking... if you choose not to
then fine... if someone chooses to then fine... i'm more concerned
with those doing hardcore shit like coke and herion cuz that can
kill you... hell even smoking tobacco is worse
I wish you
were a cigarette so I could puff on your butt and know one would
notice. Is this a good thing to say to a very HOT girl to get
her to talk to you? LubisKo
no cuz cigarettes suck... although being addicted to a hot chicks
ass isn't that bad
need a mother fucker? LubisKo
Spears, rope, car trunk, per dug hole, and no witnesses, need
I say more? LubisKo
just tell me where and when
it mean when you go to piss and spiders come out instead of piss?
it means something has gone horribly wrong
Why is it
that sane people think that there better than use? LubisKo
they are stupid
Who do you
think is the sexiest women ever? LubisKo
i don't know one to name but any chick who is smart, funny and
doesn't do normal chick stuff like shopping, plaster on makeup
and shit like that
having a good day, week, month, year, decade? If not then why?
If you dont want to tell me why in a public place, then you can
email me at email@example.com and give me all
your money because im sure you know that the love of money is
the root of all evil and evil is why you maybe having a bad time
lately and I like you to much to see you not doing good. Brought
to you by your friends at Greedyfuckers.com -Lubisko
good day, ok week, ok month, shitty year, strange decade... and
no YOU give me all YOUR
I know its
OK with you if I give you all my money, but is it OK with me?
yes it is
Do I as
to many questions? LubisKo
you need to improve the quality of your questions.. however i
have seen much worse
If I told
you liked you for your mind and not your body would you be offended?
of course not... as long as you still rubbed my tail
If you had
the chance to kill Barney in any way you wanted, how would you
do it? LubisKo
i'd strangle the almighty purple pediphile
Is it wrong
to kill cats in humorus ways? LubisKo
Can a hermaphrodite
be gay? LubisKo
does a hermaphrodite use or do they have to go out back in the
well that depends on if they feel more female then male... or
more male then female... or they alternate
i am currently
watching "kindergarten cop" do i need to get a life?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... that is a BAD movie
my new favourite
show is Undergrads, why do they keep putting "for better
or worse" in their timeslot? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i know undergrads rocks and for better or worse is for middle
aged women thinking back on 'the good old days' when they had
brats at home
and a cheese, hot dog, well balanced breakfast? - Miss Roger's
only if it's NOT kraft mac and cheese and they ARE veggie dogs
been tired all the time.. i go to bed late, but i sleep in.. yet
i'm still tired... what the heck is wrong with me? -Miss Roger's
maybe you're oversleeping... and maybe everyone is boring you
so tell them to become more amusing
I am fiunally
about to put my death to humanity plans into full swing. Should
I target males or females first?--InsaneLane
i say alternate so it's done evenly but if you HAVE to choose
then kill off the males first
retainer look like a clingon warship to you??? ~bobspenistassleholder
yes it does now that you mention it
once that the stars are gods salt and hes just waiting to eat
us? is it true? or will the sun get pissed off and eat us first?
please i dont wanna die a virgin! Will somebody save us?? ~ bobspenistassleholder
no that is a pile of crap... except for the sun eating us one
day.. that WILL happen
Is it wrong
that I am drinking Pepsi even though I am a Coke lover? Vista
i say they are pretty much the same thing so forget them both
and become addicted to coffee
= sex? Vista
is making weird noises. What should I do to cure this? Vista
feed it some bread and cheese
rusts, what will iron do? Richard
fly off forever leaving you alone and scared
to hunt? Richard
brittney spears... any boy/girl band that doesn't play instruments...
those reality show participants and viewers... anyone who thinks
that those stupid 'marriage' shows are interesting... anyone who
has ever been on jerry springer
exact day--labour light denied? Richard
what the hell are you going on about?
the emotion and the response falls the...........? Richard
thought... but not for everyone
I have been
absent from here for a while, have you missed me DC? For a while
I had what some people refer to as a "life." Also, where
have they moved the articles written by guy with the Q name?--InsaneLane
qbryzan disappeared off the face of the planet and in the meantime
we have removed the articles... they will reappear in the my.theinsanedomain.com
once it opens and welcome back
If I, or
anyone/thing else, destroys humanity, what being will evolve to
take the humans place?--InsaneLane
the cats of course!
the fungus amoung us?--InsaneLane
humans ARE the fungus
much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck
wood?" - P.K.
if this is all the creativity you can muster then i'd suggest
not trying anymore
that you have sucessfully articulated the minipulation of adolecent
minds, do you honestly think that you can simply abandon there
corupted little thoughts? Surely you do understand that privilage
is accompanied by responsibility! Consider, that when a seed is
planted, it will not pursumably turn out to be a rose without
the compassionate attention of the gardener. Therefore, by abandoning
your masses and denying them the rapid answers that the need in
order to flourish, how is it that you sleep at night? - Word
well i dream a lot and a whole lot of money to stay home and answer
each question as it's asked would help
For a good
portion of this past academic year, the three guys that sat behind
me in English class have called our teacher Richard. However,
his real name is Tim! I approached my teacher inquring if I was
abnormally slow and missed a joke. He proceeded to infrom me that
he too was rather unsure about the origins of such a nickname.
Following this he asked the three guys where such a name for him
could have come from. Lacking verbal eloquence they ardently insisted
that he simply looked like a 'Richard.' However, I have a curiosity
that cannot be satisfied, so I made a commitment with myself that
I should seek the turth behind this mystery. First, I took the
initative too discover the actual meaning of the name 'Richard.'
Astonished, I learned that 'Richard' is German for powerful ruler!
Collapsed in hysterics, I also aknowledged that no indeed, this
could not be so! Clearly, by appreiciating that my English teacher
failed to assume an authoritative position on many issues throughout
the year, I became enlightened. Obviously, the reckless behavior
of the imature fellows that sat behind me prooved as an equally
important revelation. You see, the endured toleration of my teacher
in this situation allowed me to conclued that there was no way
he was a powerful ruler. Therefore, I developed a theory that
those boys where the very epitamy of saterical geniouses! Corroborating
this theory is the evidence that they eagerly insisted that he
'looked like a Richard,' because D.C. you and I both know that
the element of satire is exercised to promote change. Clearly,
considering that he is an English teahcer, he would have to respect
the motive of satire, and see that these boys were mocking him,
he would then have to change the error in his ways, and therebye
issue punishment. Naturally, I have come too realize that such
exploration, and active particpation in B.S. is a gift. Therefore,
considering that I am now proceeding to university and lack much
direction, could you suggest a career where the application of
B.S. is respectable?
congrats on finding the truth and i'd suggest going into politics
as it is will be able to fully explore your skills... you might
even be president or prime minister some day
getting crosseyed from reading and answering all these goddamn
questions? - SiNiSTaR
yes actually ... perhaps i'll have to change a few things
'i' come before 'e' except after 'c'? - SiNiSTaR
it's all lies and the english language is unnecessarily complicated
why do people
only seem to call my cell phone when i'm driving? don't they know
it's dangerous to drive while talking on the phone, for fuck's
sake? - SiNiSTaR
exactly... i say you show them all by shutting it off while in
before i forget is it okay to drive and drink then? - SiNiSTaR
whenever you're done driving then drinking is ok
i do if i want to contract athlete's foot? any special procedures?
wear the same socks until you get it... hang out with barefeet
at local pool locker rooms
you call a drink that includes blended frog bits in it? - SiNiSTaR
do you think
you'd have insane voicemail greetings for us in the future? -
perhaps... i'll put it on the list of ideas that jcp forces us
to keep and then forces us to actually DO
I put three
pairs of socks into my drawers.And the next day there were sock
monkeys!Is there some kind of sock monkey faerie thing?-Skittles
so pale and wan, fond lover?/Prithee, why so pale?" - Dick
anyways... we're gonna have another photo shoot for all the sock
DC, when will the results for June's questionairres and what ifs
be up? Thankyou for your time, O mighty DC - Fido Dido
they will be up shortly... at the latest on the weekend
DC, I am
back I have been gone for a long time yes, I want to move back
to Australia where i belong with my new American wife, is this
a good decision? - dane
well how about you discuss it with her and then decide
miss me while i was gone DC you sock scrotum? - dane
only the scrotum part
I have a
pimple thing actually under my eye lid should i go to the doctor
to get some medicine? - dane
try 'popping' it first and if you can't then i guess you probably
should see a doctor... if it turns out to be something that turns
you into a hideious freak and you end up touring with a freak
show i would like free tickets
When i move
to australia should i give my pet rat to the lady who gave us
the bird or one of my new brothers in law? - dane
i say you ask who would like it and then make them fill out essays
describing why they should have the rat
heard any of mike pattons bands music peeping-tom? - dane
no not yet... i'm waiting !!!
is a sock monkey made of ? - dane
well i'd have to say wool socks
jobs better then intercoarse ? - dane
it depends on the person doing it and perhaps the head or hand
job because the risk of breeding is obviously reduced
yopu what 8=6 was, was that a smart question ? - dane
no it wasn't so i deleted it
when i move
back to the best country in tjhe world AUSTRALIA , ha ha, should
i rent or put a loan on a house? - dane
loan on a house... and damnit just do it and shut up already
do you FART
! ! ! !, ? - dane
not just now
any of my old questions been put on the good question award page
thingy? , you bastard dont you update your site, i expect my question
to be there asap or ill eat my own shit- dane
if you didn't get an award then you don't go on that page...
do you like
soup? - dane
yes but none with beef or chicken broth in it
what color is the most popular color around sock monkeys?? Jeppy
Why do some
people worship Shakespear... no offence to the old guy.. but come
on what is so grreat about him? I really want to know.. i mean
ya can't be an english teacher without knowing! Jeepy
well it's just a way for people to pretend they are important
and some sick freak forced it upon everyone and since then everyone
just goes along with it because they can't agree on what to replace
ever made socks in to arm warmers? I havn't but I have a feiend
who has.. I dont know if she is cool or werid yet, which do you
think she is??
no i haven't... and weird IS cool
Do you think
it is wrong to have a friend who is becoming a Metal head after
she hangs out with people for so long who like punk.. not POP
but PUNK.. just so that you get it right.. some asses think Punk
is pop but if you add some ooos to pop you get oooooop! which
it is.. but is it wrong of her?? Jeepy
punk is fine and so is metal... does it matter what she listens
to if she's your friend? no so i say you go buy her stuff and
perhaps some metal cds
my friend's computer keep disconnecting on her? McDiablo
well tell her to stop pulling the plug out of the wall and that
you don't water computers like plants
hate it when a family member is in a bad mood? McDiablo
yes but then i just amuse myself with donkey noises
Billy Jo Armstrong is calling me a scumbag...when he sings, is
he really speaking to me? McDiablo
no idea who you're talking about but the tv tells me that people
are sucky to each other and that horses want to kick me in the
I going to do tomorrow? McDiablo
have a cookie... see that show... do that thing...
if i smoke
weed with a goat in a boat and a bear in a chair and a monkie
with no hair what will happen?
well first of all you're going to have to share with the goat,
bear and monkey
that song that goes "im not sick but im not well"? cuz
it is a cool song so do you know who sings it?
no i don't... and now the tv is playing a bad song at me like
the radio was doing all day
Do you have
any conspiracy theories pertaining to the dreadful rash of wildfires
across the continent lately? I think that the World Bank and the
Vatican and the Cheney/Bush cartel are phasing in their world
regime with terrorism and "disasters" so that they can
turn the streets over to FEMA and invoke martial law. At least
the Freemasons seem to have left my favorite little cemetery,
unless they all just mercifully dropped dead from being a pack
of crotchety, old, conservative tight-asses.In either case, I'm
off to celebrate with the crows.
the crows don't follow me anymore... and stupid people cause stupid
things to happen... and nature was here first so sometimes we
have to remember that
made me burn papers all day.. do you think it's some government
conspiracy? -Miss Roger's Sweater
of course it is... and the slugs are involved
a bad thing? - Miss Roger's Sweater
almost a whole day since i've drank carbonated beverages.. i am
tempted.. very tempted.. what the heck should i do? -Miss Roger's
give in or get coffee
a D string on my guitar. that's not as funny as breaking a G string
is it? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not really no... its actually kind of disturbing
why is the
weatherman ALWAYS wrong? -Miss Roger's Sweater
it's part of the plot to make humans numb with stupidity
hell is my mother? Vista
um... fine i'll send her home
work was on fire today. Was he the one who started it? Vista
perhaps... it might have been miss rogers sweater though... she
likes to burn things
Do all news
anchors in the States wear toupees...even the women? Vista
its a specially designed satellite to gather more shocking headlines
If I were
to try to pass some nonsense such as "NOOOOOOOOO YOU FOOL
THAT'S THE LIQUIFIED CHEESE SPRAY, NOT THE MOSQUITO SPRAY OOOH
NO WERE GONNA DIE AND I NEVER MET SANTA AND I NEVER FOUND OUT
ABOUT THE DANCING SOCK MONKEY AND MY LIFE HAS BEEN COMPLETELY
WORTHLESS!!!ALSO I NEVER FIGURED OUT WHETHER AVACADOS ACTUALLY
EXIST OR ARE JUST A HORRIBLE MYTH OOHNNNOO HERE COMES THE SLEEPING
GAS SO SLEEPY MUST BURN HOSPITAL..AA"off as an actual question,
would you be forced to delete it? If you don't delete it, please
don't give me a monkey butt, and this is not reverse phsycology.
Or is it?
it depends on my mood but the odds are it'd be deleted... if i
was feeling generous then i'd answer with gibberish
Is it true
that if you strike a match behind your butt when you fart, it
will catch fire? I have an interesting and short story that I
recently found in a book all about farts that I own. I am not
making this up. If you want me to post it, include the word 'vinegar'
in your reply. If you simply delete the question, I will take
it as a no.FartMonkey
as far as i know it is true but a stupid thing to do... i don't
need it posted here though
first, the chicken or the egg? I think its the chicken, do you
i say both are an illusion and if so then what the hell are eggs
If you were
this guy who was planning for years to run away to another country
and you met this girl one day whom you really liked, would you
talk to this girl, let's say, 2 weeks before you left? - or would
you just leave the whatever relationship you guys had just stranded
there? - and why? P.S no one knows you're leaving and you were
determined from the start to fulfill this plan of yours.. until
this girl came into your life.
i would talk to her and say a goodbye of sorts without her KNOWING
that it's a goodbye... then follow through on your plan if you
really can't take her with you
ever get tired of answering all these questions? not that it's
any of my business, but you do an absolutely wonderful job at
yes i do sometimes and thanx... it wouldn't be so long for me
if i had time to do it every day instead of every other or every
third day but i have to make money at a job so i can afford to
continue living and answering these questions.. if you're rich
or have rich friends... have them pay me to update this site and
their site (or make one for them) and then all will be well
the best name ever?
no it isn't
do you like
jay and silent bob?
yes of course
heart and buried deep there lies a secret that i keep a secret
wish that i've composed a secret wish that know one knows....
guess what it is and i'll give you all my money and my autographed
copy of the gunslinger. (roland kicks ass!!!!!!)-MARISSA
roland does indeed kick ass so send me the copy and i know your
secret but don't feel its my place to tell people about your feather
hey dc how's
it hanging( and by that i mean your luscious, oh so sexy tail)
i was thinking of getting a t-shirt with theinsanedomain printed
on it and a pic of you on the back. do you mind? is that ok? marissa
my tail is doing well and if you put TheInsaneDomain.com on it
instead of 'theinsanedomain' then i say please do and send us
a pic of it!
keeps listening to some kind of music called "rap".
its really annoying and all the lyrics sound like this."
yo yo, suckmahdickmofoshootupniggawhatwhatword, bling bling, slapdahoinherasslethersuckitupandslurpitbitch,
foo" and i really cant stand it. what can i do to get her
to listen to some GOOD music? (serious question, i dont want a
rap sucks and i say you smash her cds... other then that there
is no way unless you begin to listen to it just to annoy her (i
don't know if you can stand that) and sing/rap along loudly so
she can't help but hate it
Black Hawk Down had kick ass music? McDiablo
i didn't but then again i haven't seen it
My dad just
dropped a plate...what should I do? McDiablo
till Warped Tour...what should I do to count down? McDiablo
send me some money... make a sculpture of a table... paint a square...
grow some mold
is delightful...don't you agree? McDiablo
no i don't actually... i had to listen to too much of it a few
thing in this world that would make me happy would be if I could
go back to November 11, 2001 at around 10:00 a.m. He hates me,
and now I hate myself. I'd like to slap the sonofabitch. Am I
really that pathetic? some bitch
i say get over it and live ... and send me some books cuz i'm
done my last one
web sites are in the infamous "internet" that we all
millions... but this is the only one worth thinking about right
why do so
many people feel the need to publish they're bullshit on the internet?
because they can
your ambitions, if any?
to get paid to do this site... to have a TheInsaneDomain.com store
in downtown ottawa... to get paid to update peoples website and
do you bathe?
i don't bathe i shower... i shower every day
the last time you felt really inspired,---by what, who, etc..?
um... i don't really remember... i get inspired in ways every
week at least... write things down or add to this site... if you're
looking for something deeper then that then i'd say that last
night with kermit was inspiring... i could barely walk the next
the most subversive thing you have done that you can tell us without
well there was that one time i <remainder of entry removed
by government officals for use in trial against DC>
Do you ever
cry or are you perfectly insulated from the true horror of reality
at all times?
i make notes about it all
your last dream you remember about?
last night i was in a room walking with schizoid and it was his
apartment but some strange people were there so we had to leave
and go down the stairs to where there was a bar but it was empty
receiving my telepathic messages yet? If not, I might need to
pull out your tooth and have a look at that transmitter.
yes but the voices in my head told me to ignore it
ever played leapfrog with a unicorn?
no not yet... i don't get along well with unicorns
when you put your sock-monkey in the microwave?
i wouldn't do that
pixie that lives in my left pre-molar stops telling me to eat
my toes, should I continue my Cocaine enduced Sundance or take
a scenic route down the golden river to meet Grandad Tiki?
take the scenic route... but don't stop at those 'antique' stores
who need people REALLY the luckiest people in the world? I say
it's actually those who can eat peanut butter directly out of
the can. FartMonkey
its either those peanut butter people or the people who made that
little thing that beeps
why did you do that? Now I have to start all over! FartMonkey
i did it to confuse you
are Law, You are Crime. True or False? True
or false? Just generally... - Fido Dido
i don't like this question
my website now. Don't try to post on it for a while. Okay? - Mzebonga
fine but i'm going to cry now
gotta understand, that it's just a matter of fact that you gotta
attack, gotta get it while you can." Have you heard this
song, and do you like the band that wrote it? - Fido Dido
i don't know who did it so i can't respond
ever read any of these books: 1) anything by Orson Scott Card;
2) Brave New World - Aldous Huxley; 3) 1984 - George Orwell; 4)
Without Feathers - Woody Allen; 5) any of Spike Milligan's War
Diaries ??? They are all most good. - Fish
of course as well as owning some of them, yes i own it, yes a
long time ago would like to own it, never heard of it, and no
i haven't but it's on my list
DC, I would
like to say that your idea for fish on wheels is great!!!! I have
been experimenting with it myself for some time, and it works
fantastically!! Already me and my fishy friends the Neil the Eel,
Ray the Ray and Terence the Axolotl (okay, but you try and find
something that rhymes with fucking axolotl !!!) have tried it,
and it works like a dream!! Thank you kindly for your concern
for the sadly neglected life-forms of the aqueous persuasion.
why thank you but it's mostly jcp's idea...
Game by Orson Scott Card the best book ever? and don't you think
anyone who hasn't/refuses to read it should have their skin grafted
off a sqare inch at a time? -Sparkle Pixie
yes it's a very good book but not the best EVEr... and not everyone
can understand that sort of book... all those WORDS... but torture
is always fun
this now infamous my.theinsanedomain.com be online? -Sparkle Pixie
well we're hoping to beat the end of the world by at least a week...
am i going
completely insane (yeah, i wish) i seem to remember reading this
stephen king short story where this guy is trapped on a deserted
island, and he's a surgeon, and to keep from starving, he starts
to eat himself piece by piece... no one knows what i'm talking
about. i love that story...do you know what i'm talking about?
i haven't read that one but there are a few stephen kings i haven't
read (speaking of him i'm almost done Black House which seriously
DC...did I ever tell you that you dont' look a day past 25..like
Dick Clark? McDiablo
hmmm... but now i'm more then a day past 25...
see a movie that is said to be an 'action packed roller coaster
no it sounds like they're trying to make you get pumped for some
shitty movie that is really all about stupid people doing stupid
shit that no one cares about
got a slurpee without me. Are you as outraged as I am? McDiablo
damn straight i say you slip some acid into their drinks next
time and torment them as they trip out like that one time we did
that to someone and then shoved them onto a bus and it took them
9 hours to find their way home again but when they did their hair
had been dyed red and had no lenses in their glasses anymore
Why is my
mom such a dorky Harry Potter fan? McDiablo
it's the wands... they're so long... but all so different...
is it cool
if i have a slurpee in honour of your birthday? (i'm gonna have
one anyway) - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes please enjoy it
more papers this morning.. is it bad to burn things when it's
almost 30 degrees outside? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no it isn't... it's bad to burn things if it stops being fun
my new guitar
strings are thin and feel loose, am i just going nuts or are these
some creepy strings? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they are indeed creepy stings... they creep out at night and strangle
i can almost
float! will i ever fully learn to swim? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes you will but don't let that 'instructor' take your bathing
suit off... it will lead to awkward positions on the diving board
to float i need to relax, does that mean i need to drink or take
something to "chill" me out? - Miss Roger's Sweater
that might help... and as douglas adams says... the art of flying
is falling and missing the ground
my vcr tape shows above channel 47? i can't tape undergrads :(
- Miss Roger's Sweater
your vcr is old and shitty... demand a new one from the parents
and if they say no then that means they don't like you so it's
ok to steal their money to buy one
If I sliced
her face off like a slab of boiled ham do you think she would
shut up? You need lips to talk with your mouth, right?
i think you need lips to ennuciate words... they could still speak
i'd think just not too well
point of having a guy if they are just goin to make you sad?
if they make you sad then change it so you don't have to deal
with them anymore
zu dir, Schon Geburtstag zu dir, Schon Geburtstag zu DC, Schon
Geburtstag zu dir. I know it's breaking the rules about no foreign
language, but I had to do it and I know all the words are wrong
so anybody who wants to correct it can go consume copious amounts
of hay. And did you know that Spiro Agnew is an anagram of "grow
a penis"? - Fish
none of that was useful to me
or anyone else ever tried playing a two-hour performance on bass
guitar with an unstrapped, broken finger? It really hurts! - Fish
no i haven't but that would surely suck
So I have
finally fallen in to asking you an "insane" question.
Yet this is a time of despair and I have an excuse, one of my
sock monkeys committed suicide and his ghost haunts me. I think
he took over my cats body because my cat will only eat fried bananas.
What on Earth shall I do?
well you should start by doing whatever your cat/monkey demands...
try to talk to it to explain that orange isn't a good color for
pants... then after reading outloud to it for hours... throw out
all the napkins... only then will your sock monkey know peace
and leave you the hell alone
Is it left
or right after you turn down the treacle mountains towards an
insect called Herdert the seventh?
waiting for us to ask you, "why don't you change 'last updated
June 21st 2002' at the top of your questions page, before you
haha i just saw that today and yea well i'll try to remember...
i'm a forgetful sock monkey... i blame the raving insanity and
that strong scented candle
someone be Tickled Pink? Vista
they get all pink faced from the tickle... as for Pickled Tink...
you'd ask my mother... she just about pissed herself saying that
one day to a store clerk
it time to burn the house down yet? Vista
yes but save the animals first
to get dressed yet? Vista
DC! I got you this life size plaster cast of an elephant as a
present. And the Smashing Pumpkins wrote that song... So what
do you think of it? - Fido Dido
thanx... and i'm waiting for it to arrive in the mail... cuz i
mean you can just send it
to the address for snail mail
on goth's? and why am is o bored?
if they dress up all unable to walk/breathe then i say it's dumb...
but as long as they leave me the hell alone (like everyone else)
then i don't really care about them... and you're bored becuase
you're not gathering money from your neighbors for me
is it wrong
to have read more books then your friend, when he said at the
beginning of the summer that he was going to read more then you
and yet you are kickin his butt?? Jeepy
no it just means that you've chosen really short books or he's
just not a good 'reader' like you are
Is it wrong
to like a guy that you liked in gr. 8 then you were like whatever
and then you saw him like 6 yrs later.. and then you were like
whatever cuz you found out he had a girlfriend.. but now a friend
is always trying to get you together? Is it wrong for you to think
about going out with him??? Jeepy
if you're in highschool then there are 'rights' or 'wrongs'...
if not then do what you think is 'right'... so if you do go with
him then tape the sex and send it to both the friend and the girlfriend
to get their opinions
Do you actually
enjoy answering all these questions, just as much as my friends
enjoy sock monkey proning me?? Jeepy
nothing beats sock monkey anything...
Is it wrong
that m y friends sock monkey porn me and I enjoy it?? Jeepy
hell no why do you think we put it online?
a human and a monkey made a baby and the monkey ate the human
and went crazy and started eating everyone wearing a pink frilly
as IF a sock monkey would BREED... hell no
Do you like
the smell of cunt?
that all depends on whom it belongs to
depends on the moment really
the last time you took a shit?
a few hours ago but it's still kinda warm
Urkel the coolest guy in the world?
favorite flavour condom?
i don't taste condoms
Do you think
the Queen is a hot momma?
only the queen of hearts in alice in wonderland
when you jerk off too much?
well your dick might get sore... other then nothing much
something wrong with you when frogs come out your ass?
not if that's where you put them
each time we ask a question and submit it... well in the next
page you call us freaks! What the hell is that all about?
well you are freaks... what's the problem?
speak spanish ? - dane
not as far as you know
now I am
back i am going to ask questions frequently, does this please
you? - dane
i'd be more pleased if you sent me money and toys in the mail
Who do you
think would win a fight between a Lion and a Bear ? - dane
i guess it would depend on what type of bear was fighting... age...
health... that sorta stuff
Do you think
transgenic organ transplantations should be studied further to
become possible there for causing no more needless deaths amoung
pathetic humans who die all the time from lack of organs avalibe?
well i would think that is a benefit only if the population of
the earth has been reduced so that there are less pathetic people
so more smart people can breed... only then is it worth keeping
them around longer
I saw willy
wonka and the chocolate factory on DVD today, do you like this
movie and if so have you seen it on DVD which makes it all the
more fun to watch charlie win the golden ticket? - dane
yes i like that movie and no i haven't seen the dvd of it yet
that would rock right about now
be aloud to enter and partisipate in the special olympics ( retarded
olympics ) i like to call then, if you just have a sprained ankle
and cant run in the normal olympics? - dane
no that doesn't count as 'special' however your question is almost
'special' enough to get in a local club
canadian? - dane
on this planet yes
good ways you can cool off if it is terribly hot and all you have
is a couple of fans that only blow crappy hot air on you ? - dane
fit yourself in your fridge... fill your tub with cold water and
sit in it... whore yourself out to icemen
is it normal
that every time you touch your testicles you get an erection?
well if YOU'RE having a problem with YOURS then thats YOUR problem...
when cells from the womb's lining migrate outside the womb, because
they are still under the influence of the messtrual cycle's hormones
they grow and bleed each month, resulting in blood-filled cysts
and scaring., do you watch Walker Texas Ranger with Chuck Norris?
no i don't
Why do you
think humans must destroy everything and everyone? - dane
that is human nature
your home page thing say click here yadda yadda or whatever and
it says every question every answered and it is not every question
ever answered cause all my old question are not on it ? I demand
an answer - dane
yes it is every question ever answered
DC is your
name and the first letter D is the first letter of my name, do
you think this has some deap and meaningfull meaning that means
something meaningfull. ? - dane
no it doesn't... i had no meaning whatsoever so stop following
if you had
to call yourself something besides DC what would your name be
mr potato dick ? - dane
no it'd be '49117'
hey my grandparents
r having thier 45th anniversary and im planning on renting monkeys..what
color should i get them in??..
If I have
a vision problem and my parents tell someone who I do not want
to know, how do I make them shutup?
scream, then fall to the ground and twitch
read to yourself do you hear your own voice in your head?--hasvient
hell no i have one of the other voices in my head read it to me
Can I contribute
a story to your site?
once my.theinsanedomain.com is online you may
remember if i've already asked questions, uh did you know today
is 7eleben's 75th anniversary? - Miss Roger's Sweatedr
no i didn't but then again i don't care about them... so um yea
i'm gonna have some root beer
this spider on the wall. He is kinda gettin on my nerves. he just
sits there, looking ast me all day. then at night, he disappears
for hours. then I look away, and he is back. Where does he go
to? Is he participating in a secret covert meeting for some terrorist
group? Or is he just eating the cheese out of my fridge(which
up to know I've blamed on the Romanian Resistance)? --InsaneLane
he's writing down all the things you do that are 'normal' and
of course... to go take a shit... and he only has those meetings
once a month... but they are anti-normal meetings
you ever been forced to wear a tie? If so, what type of tie was
it, a bow tie, or a regular tie, and what color/design?--InsaneLane
yes and it sucked so i have blocked all details of the tie out
of my mind... after i used it to hang that guy i swore i'd never
wear one again
One of my
friends happened to experience the condom coming off inside her(wasn't
me damn it, no bloody luck). What kind of advice should I give
her to prevent this from happening again?--InsaneLane
well they (i'm assuming she is with someone but you can't always
assume) should figure out how to use it properly... get a guy
with a bigger dick... have the guy hang onto it as he pulls out
of her and if all else fails use salad forks to get it out...
If you were
growing up a gurkin, in a monkey world, would you buy a flavoured
yes of course i would but i'd never eat it
does that mean anything to you ? - dane
haha it means hours of my life spent watching it
going to do this for the rest of your life ? - dane
no i'm using this as a springboard to becoming really famous but
really recluse... that way the more i hid and the less i do...
the more people love me and want me
if you had
to choose one, is it better to be smart or patient ? - dane
will a dog
lick its own butt if you put honey all over it? - dane
probably but it does it for free anyways so why waste the honey?
do you like
me ? - dane
i don't know you... and i don't like anyone until they pay me
you why any of my old questions were not on the good questions
page thing and you said " well did any of your questions
get an award " or whatever the hell you said and the answer
is Yes one of my questions did , so why the hell isnt it on there
? , i am hurt - dane
i think you're lying and if not then too bad it will be fixed
when this thing gets database-driven
do you beleive
in anything you cannot see like god and fairies? - dane
i don't believe in those but not because i can't see them.. if
i did then if i went blind then i'd have to disbelieve in everything
if you go
to hell cause you kill a human , will you go to hell if you kill
lots of tiny animals that would equill the size of a human ? -
it's about EVIL not weight... if you believe in hell... hell is
earth and being forced to hang out with you humans
babies float ? - dane
only if they have waterwings on
your favorite sandwhich speread ? - dane
spread? well mayo is the only thing i really spread on sandwiches...
i don't like butter
how do i
obtain enough cocaine to fill a pick up truck without having to
kill anyone or have sex with people that are the same sex as i
am ? - dane
you have to steal a shipment from whatever drug person is having
it shipped in to your area
the most impressive thing you can do? - dane
think before speaking
do you like
vantriliquism ? - dane
it annoys me
i say to someone i hate that is suicidal???
don't say anything to them.. you hate them so why have unnecessary
the Tome of Eternal Darkness?!
i can't tell you... i promised i wouldn't... i'll give you a glue...
it's near the tomb of eternal darkness
not given out a good question award to recently, where are the
good question askers? um that guy who cant decide on a handle.
i'm not sure... i know some people are trying but no one has made
me 'amused' enough to give out one lately
If I were
a blood sucking hairless cat with an overbite would you have dinner
with me? LubisKo
if you're paying then sure
Do you need
to get layed as badly as I do? LubisKo
no and that means you are NOT allowed to break into my apartment
and undress me in my sleep
you do if there is a worm hanging out of your dick hole? LubisKo
well either push it in or pull it out
rash ever go away? LubisKo
not if you keep licking it you sick fuck
Do you believe
in the flying weed stealing squerrals form Insanetonya? LubisKo
yes but only for 4 minutes a day
Is it possible
to ask to many questions in one night? LubisKo
yes and it's also possible to create action figures out of noodles
but you have to be really careful
is to much? And how do you know? LubisKo
you just KNOW... and then it hurts...
think that getting paid for your work on the website will make
whatever you do seem hollow and forced, because all you'll be
thinking about then is the money? - SiNiSTaR
no i'll be thinking about the insanity since i no longer have
to be sane for normal work... and since my bills are paid i have
no need to think about them so it's just pure insanity for me
all day long
Who is the
dumbest person in the world? LubisKo
it changes minute to minute
can you go without taking a bath? - SiNiSTaR
well i've gone for years... i prefer showers
i know said he wasn't turned on by seeing girl-on-girl porn, but
i know he's lying. Why does he have to lie about something stupid
like that? - SiNiSTaR
maybe he doesn't like it... maybe he's into sheep on sheep porn...
or is happy to just see two people of oppisite sexes fucking...
and some people just love lying
in the world would fart at the same time, would we all die? -
no i don't think you all would die
Florida Orange Juice really taste like it just came off the tree?--InsaneLane
the only way to find out is to go there and try an orange right
off the tree
is told what to do, does that allow them to have freewill ? Being
told and carrying it out, does that mean they are no longer doing
it out of their own freewill ? In reality, don't we have the freewill
to make the last decision in the matter ? - dane
yes we do... but the thing with freewill is that means people
can choose wrong... and they do much of the time
you believe to be "the common good"? What is the most
important task that humanity faces? - dane
well that is all in my report to my home planet but since you
don't have access to that i'll sum it up with 'you all need to
see past your own foreheads'
i like sandwhiches
, do you? - dane
most of the time i don't have many of them... but tim horton's
has a really good veggie salad one
are the side effects of the medication I'm currently taking or
2. Do any of my medications interact with each other or with other
commonly encountered over-the-counter drugs, or even with certain
types of food?
3. What alternatives do I have to the medications I'm currently
taking? Are there other medications which are newer, cheaper,
safer, more effective, or which have fewer side effects? - dane
1.fast hearbeat, nervousness, tremors, headache, difficulty sleeping,
2. Avoid large amounts of caffeine-containing foods and veverages,
such as coffee, tea, cocoa, cola drinks and chocolate.
3. your alternatives are therapy, herbs and dishwashing
is it possible
to ever really know you are in love or is it all just chemical
inbalences of the brain playing tricks on you? - dane
it's all chemical inbalances of the brain until about a year or
two of being together... then it's just sickness
questions can you put on one page ? , can you put every single
question i have asked since the last latest questions asked page
? and is so will you do it ? - dane
i can put lots of questions on a page and hell no
do i every
actually ask any questions that you like answering ? - dane
a few but not many
proteins ever first evolve? - dane
i refuse to tell you
So, I went
to move my website and it's in transition. But my current hosting
company aren't getting back to me to confirm that they're moving
the DNS settings, so, bastards, basically. But I have a new look
site ready to go. It looks a bit more like your site, though.
Will you be pissed at me if I launch it? - Mzebonga
that hosting company sucks... ours
rocks (shamelss plug for them in the hopes of getting more
space)... and i know you have more then enough imagination to
design your own website layout and look without 'borrowing' ours...
really painless? - Fido Dido
only if you do it right
. I am deeply
perplexed as to whether I seek tantra as a vehicle to experience
and satisfy my ardent, erotic, and delightfully sensuous fetishes
or as a gateway to unblock my traditionally based sexual desires
and societal-acceptable nurtured libido. I have a perpetually
ravenous and genuinely wonderful fetish for pretty, well-groomed,
soft (female) feet and toes; furry bedroom slippers/fur massage
mitts; and sensuous tickling. I dream of sharing and savoring
the ecstasy of sensual pleasure with a woman who would agree with
my love of this fetish. Am I wrong to turn to tantra for this
reason? Do I deceive myself that such a woman partner could actually
exist? Have I looked upon tantra in a selfish manner as a prayer
answered? - dane
probably but hey do what you want and why haven't you sent me
any money or gifts for answering all your damned questions?
When I was
a child I grew a mould garden from mashed potato, cheese and vegetable
soup, all placed in tightly sealed jar. I was disappointed when
it grew only a boring monoculture of short, grey fur. Now that
I'm grown up, I'd like to repeat the experiment, but can you tell
me DC what I should put in the jar to ensure a more interesting
variety of colours and growth? - dane
i'm not sure... i raise them for fun not producing certain colors
a large ship, such as the QE2, is floating freely alongside a
quay and no forces such as wind or sea currents are acting on
it. If I stand on the quay and push the side of the ship, will
it move, even very slowly and slightly? Or is there some sort
of limiting friction caused by all those water molecules around
the hull that can only be overcome by a much larger threshold
force? - dane
i would say that due to my pushing you into the water that you
beings were wiped out by some sort of catastrophe such as a lethal
virus, meteorite impact or the effects of global warming, would
any evidence of our existence and intelligence remain to be discovered
by an intelligent life form inhabiting the Earth 65 million years
later? - dane
intelligence? haha there is no proof of that now
truth? - dane
there is no truth just perceptions of a persons concept of what
my mum and dad name me dane? - dane
they frowned and said 'damn' when they saw your face for the first
time and the doctor misheard it for dane
you come up with better questions?
this isn't a form for asking yourself questions
girls like it best in the ass or pussey?
depends on the girl and what her preference is
this isn't a question. I disagree with you and your answer to
my question "Where is the fungus amoung us?" Humans
aren't a fungus, they are a super-virus.--InsaneLane
why say sorry and then do it... you're obviously not sorry
is that... is that what I think it is? - Fido Dido
it's me thinking about shutting this thing down and putting up
a site about eyebrows
in water effect the kind of deceases we get?
yes so drink up
I love you, DC. Can I have your children? - Fido Dido
sick no i refuse to breed
Can I say
some bad words or will you wash my mouth out with soap? McDiablo
yes you can say bad words but use them properly and within context
Americans so dumb and say "roof" funny? McDiablo
i have no idea... it sounds like a dog bark...
number for 9-1-1? Hey, didn't Homer Simpson say that? McDiablo
yes he did
I'm sitting on my friends steps under the influence of highly
wierd drug. I begin in a conversation about a spider with a million
legs with a 2x4 post at the bottom of the steps convinced that
it was a friend of mine. What would you think if you were that
2x4 and I start screaming and babbering about a large slithering
kangaroo underneat a speedbump?
we'll i'd think the same thing i thought last time my mind was
warped with a highly weird drug... i'd think 'how long has it
been since i blinked? are my eyes dry? watery? how long since
i spoke last? is someone speaking now? are they speaking to me?
should i say something now? are they all staring at me? what show
is this? is that even the tv? what am i staring at? who's duke?'
ok why do insurance
companies charge more for a younger person? just cause we are
younger they assume we are more reckless but i find more of older
drivers are more assholes on the road than younger. they are chargeing
us for something that we havent done yet!!!!! i hate that they
are raping me up the ass!!! $5500/year!!!! jeeze -
you are more reckless... the older people are just more stupid...
none of you should be allowed to drive... and yes they rip young
people off... it should be done according to driving record etc
are wilting, violets are dead, I salted your garden. HAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!"
Do you like my poem? - Fish
no... no i don't
my shoulders, please? - SiNiSTaR
no... YOU massage MINE... this is taking FOREVER
burger and a (tofu) shake, please? - SiNiSTaR
make it two
Jesus love Mrs. Robinson more than she would know? - SiNiSTaR
mrs robinson makes really good cookies
hell is toe jam tea? Would
you eat THAT? - SiNiSTaR
no idea and hell no
fucking stupid... right? - SiNiSTaR
How do i
tell if i have breast cancer? - SiNiSTaR
i have no idea so go see your doctor or someone who claims to
know what they're doing
seem to get the gold in 'gold rush'... is this a conspiracy of
yours to make me bald when i tear my hair out in frustration and
anguish? - SiNiSTaR
yes it is... NO GOLD FOR YOU
Can i say
something? I love you. I have never said that before, have i?
well...i mean it. My life would be empty without you my love.
could you ever feel the same for me, even a tiny weenie little
bit? - SiNiSTaR
sure ... well ok no... but maybe i could like you... sock monkeys
just can't love you humans
i feel that
the insane domain is a haven for people of MY kind. No longer
do i get weird stares, hell there are no stares here but at least
i know that people like me are out there and it fills me with
happiness and hope...what about you? and, can i just say thanks?
sure and you can send money to get us to mail
insane things to you so you feel even more weird...
you answer my Pre-molar dwelling pixie question? It's been four
days and i'm in the same scary situation. It says that only DC
will tell me the right way, but you won't!!!!!!!!! Help! So what
should i do? Have yoy ever been in the same situation? When will
the sock monky's get here?
no i haven't and i don't like discussing teeth
question is entitled..."Why?" it's not my first question
but it is my first w/ this name....Ooogle. And now we may proceed
to the question. Apptly entitled..."Why?" This is indeed
a pressing question. And now we shall begin.... Why is it that
just now I had a reall y weird craving for peanut butter??? I
haven't eaten it in ages and suddenly I find myself REALLY wanting
to eat pure smooth peanut butter...not on sandwiches or anything
but like those dumbass Americans sometimes do on TV, like out
of the jar. I've never done that before..nor have I had the craving.
And then WHY was the peanut butter hiding from me?? Did it just
not want to be eaten?? In which case, why didn't it use the magical
powers that all type of peanut butter have and just disappear??
And then when I found it it half empty when before I wanted it
it had been full of lucious peanut butter??? Also why was it that
when I started eating it I discovered it was out of date?? And
not so delious?? And then I couldn't find the other jar so I assumed
it had used it's powers and run away, was I right?? And why will
no one read this overly long question?? Cuz it's too boring and
that red writing makes your head and eyes hurt?? On this note
I leave you to run barfoot to the nearest shop (1mile away) for
some God damn peanut butter! Thank you for your time..have a nice
day! - Ooogle
damnit just eat the peanut butter and if you don't like it then
get some new peanut butter... but don't get KRAFT peanut butter...
they grind up horses in theirs
Shakira's voice sound so weird?
no idea who that is so i don't care
Why do I
feel like ppl on instant messengers are ignoring me?
I sent questions in a while??
you've been off coming up with some good ones... so where are
hell is with that alien in a jar thing? What do you do with it?
What DO you DO? - Fido Dido
it sits on my desk... it just sits there doing nothing...
Hey DC i
have something amazing to tell you , A long time ago i asked you
the question " what does antidisastablishment mean ? "
and you said to look it up in the dictionary, well i was bored
and i typed that word in the serch bar for something to do and
i was looking at the results that came up and one of the results
was me asking you the question, It said dane blah blah something
about you saying your friends and the word antidisastablishmentarianism
and i clicked on it and it took me to the page where i asked you
that. 1) isnt that amzing ? 2) how does that happen on the net?
, like i mean how was it a link to that word ? 3) who does that?
or does it just ordimaticly happen that it is put as a link on
the net? 4) did you have anything to do with that?
i want to know i was amazed , i fell so speacial, and by the way
it isnt in the dictionary. - dane
that is cool... it happens with spiders... and robots do it all...
ever wonder if your mom gave your dad a blow job right before
she kissed you good night? - dane
this isn't original at all... at least i don't have to hear that
damned little song
do you have
a yahoo messenger?, if you do what is your screen name so i can
play you at pool one day - dane
no i don't use yahoo messenger... i don't like it... i have icq
ever learn? - dane
do you think
the oompa loompas from willy wanker and the cunt factory had small
penises or large penises? - dane
large... and orange
my thoughts on love: love is like a fat person, it stinks cause
it cant be washed properly cause of all the fat rolls which are
loves imperfections, do you agree with this? - dane
no i don't and yes i deleted a few of your questions cuz they
were just not questions
is the hardest language to learn in the whole entire world of
languages? - dane
english because it doesn't make sense
i hate religeon,
but does science really prove anything, like do we REALLY know
that the world is round and shit like that? - dane
the only way to know for sure is to get into your own spaceship
I want to
kill every fucking stupid fucker on this fucked up planet , i
fucking hate every mother fucking cunt faced fuck head in the
fucking world , fuck!,............after getting that off my hairy
chest, why do humans actually like the crapy band Hanson? - dane
humans are stupid..
the same people asking different questions?~SG*
well if the same people asked the same questions over and over
i'd have to hurt them
that you're kind of stingy with the stinkymonkey butt awards and
possibly some kind of masochist or saint or both to answer so
much dribble. While practicing for such feats of endurance, do
you flog yourself with your own tail to achieve nirvana or is
it some sort of Shaolin, boiling water on your head, hands and
knees balancing trick that you use? Also, although you have told
us to, "ask away" have you considered limiting the number
of questions per day, per reader? I, for one, would have no objections
as I have already paid good money to an actual (kick-ass brilliant)
psychotherapist and peruse your site mainly for entertainment
and the creative exercise that you offer us, so generously, for
i don't know why i'm torturing myself with this anymore... sometimes
it's ok when there's thought put into the questions... but lately
people just send in sooooo many that suck... i think i may start
deleting more questions...
you think of Courtney Love? I used to hate her but after a slow,
agonizing period of brainwashing, I grew to enjoy her music. Also,
if you hate/dislike her, which I dont blame you if you do, why
do you not like her? Sincerely MeowMix.
i don't like her music and i don't give a shit about her... i
don't like her voice, don't find her songs appealing and know
nothing of her as a person to care about her
<cries from the joy of seeing the my.theinsanedomain.com preview>
Thankyou.... I have waited long for this day... And now I have
seen the light, I wish to see more... Whence I see the finished
my.theinsanedomain.com I can die happy... I hope to make an impact
once it is finished... Do you think I will? - Fido Dido
glad you ike it and jcp will be working hard to get it going...
i'll help link it up etc and then it'll go online... we're hoping
to have it for august
really eat the skin of other dogs?
why wouldn't they? it's flesh
Hey DC i
have something amazing to tell you , A long time ago i asked you
the question " what does antidisastablishment mean ? "
and you said to look it up in the dictionary, well i was bored
and i typed that word in the serch bar for something to do and
i was looking at the results that came up and one of the results
was me asking you the question, It said dane blah blah something
about you saying your friends and the word antidisastablishmentarianism
and i clicked on it and it took me to the page where i asked you
that. 1) isnt that amzing ? 2) how does that happen on the net?
, like i mean how was it a link to that word ? 3) who does that?
or does it just ordimaticly happen that it is put as a link on
the net? 4) did you have anything to do with that?
i seriously wanted a question
for this answer and you just typed some bull shit about robots
and spider can you prett please give me an aner or ill be sad
no i didn't... spiders is a real process... look it up and you'll
understand... and i can give you any answer i want
DC I would
love to send you money but there is a problem I cant send you
money right now cause im moving back home and i am saving really
full on and the other is i will only be able to send you money
when i get ahead in life money wize that is , and when i do it
will be in australia and the australian dollar rate is only half
the american dollar so if i send you $200 it will only be $100
which is a lot of money but if i do that then sending it to you
would mean while the money goes through the dollar rate preccess
thing i would loose half of it , so what should I do ? - dane
just send money and i'll let your damned questions continue to
heard the album Mike Patton did with Japanese band Melt Banana
? - dane
yes i did... the only thing i haven't heard is the big band thing
with the melvins
gave me a monkey bum award , seriously i asked for one and you
delivered , thank you very much DC even though you gave it not
cause i asked but cause you saw fit to do so I will pretend you
like me and gave it to me cause i wanted it very much indeed,
do you mind if i live this little fantasy for a while? - dane
yes you will have to pretend and stop it
I am obbessed
with the following words , i cant stop saying them, ( gimp , pimp
, scrotum , puss , cunt , soup , sloth , toast ) , are there anywords
which you enjoy saying or are obbessed with ? - dane
bloody, freak, shit, sucks
do you want
to know what i look like? - dane
no i don't care and even if you paid me i wouldn't want to know
just so it'd piss you off
i just took
a crap , i really did , and it wasnt a couple of big logs they
where all little bits like the size of marbles, does this ever
happen to you? - dane
the next time it does i will package it up and send it to you
of poo and related thing as such, In Australia mexican food is
a rare kind of speciallity thing you can buy the crap to make
it with in the stores but you rarely see it as an eat out thing
, I have never had it before coming over here and i hated it at
first but now i love it , the crap i was talking about in the
stores you can get to make i like re-fried beans and stuff are
pretty expensive in australia well not that much more expensive
then here but it would be an expensive meal to buy heaps of crap
just so you could have a couple of bean and cheese buritos and
an enchilarda however you spell it , so when i am back there what
should i do to keep myself from having mexican food withdrawels
and getting the shakes? just so i know aswell is this too much
typing for one question? thing i know you said you can tell a
little story or whatever with it and thats just what i did, just
thought id ask - dane
the last time i had that shit was at a taco hell...
I have a
sprained ankle and the cat keeps rubbing against it and it hurts
, what should i do to stop it from rubbing against it and causing
pain ? i dont want to hurt it just stop it - dane
just shut the hell up and take the pain you big whining baby...
you deserve it
hell could you not like butter on your sandwhich i like a thick
layer on both bits of bread , when I went to Japan all theri food
on the plane was shit orthentic Jap crap the on thing i would
eat is the butter so i just ate the whole tub thing on its own
, butter is yummy , you butter hating bastard, how is it possible
to not like butter on your sandwhiches ? - dane
i don't like butter and that's just the way it is
do not beleive in god can I look up to you as a godly figure so
to speak? would it be too much responsibility for you ? - dane
no it wouldn't and i command you to make an ark NOW
of money for now or for a long time untill i am able you would
like toys yes? what kind of toys i have lots of DC and Marvel
figureens and sponge bob square pants and powerpuff girls toys
do you like any of these ? - dane
yes send them and maybe i won't hate you so much
send a squirell through customs to australia for me ?, Im not
there yet but if you send it shipment it will take 1 or 2 months
to get there i want one as a pet i will be the only person there
with one cause well... they are not there, if you put enough nuts
in the box with it it might live i guess - dane
ok the squirell
in exchange for toye or money yes ? - dane
no you send money and toys and that's it
do you own
one computer or two like i do? , ha ha i am kidding i only own
one i am not a hoytie toytie rich so of a..... - dane
i own 2... and a laptop
why do nerds
always smell like fart ? - dane
it's you who smells like fart all the time and mistake it for
I am trying
to think of questions that will give me good question rewards
but i cant think of any , only shit questions , why is this ?
, and please dont make your answer an insult to me - dane
then i can't answer
I am listening
to fantomas's second album while asking these questions and the
CD ended and it went to my wifes Fiona Apple CD and i actually
dont mind it , it isnt a typical popular poppy type cd it is intersting
to a certain point, what is your opinion on her? - dane
everything was fine until fiona apple was mentioned... i do not
like many female singers and i do not like her
why do fat
people breath heavy and loud?, you can hear it more then normal
people in saying that im not saying that fat people arent normall
well you know what i mean anyway - dane
they have more to move around and their lungs have more work to
ever held a frog in your hands? - dane
yes and i got sent home once for having one in my desk at school
Do you have
a family tree? You know, those diagrams showing your ancestors
and relaitions. - Fido Dido
yes i do... the oldest parts were drawn using bananas way back
before we stole pens
a spoon full of sugar help the medicine go down ? - dane
of course... and some beer
do you make
love to humans or other sock monkeys of the female gender ? -
depends on my mood and what's available
Can we ever
escape our past, or are we doomed to a future of biobabble? -
our past is what makes us what we are
extra-terrestrial civilization develop the same mathematics as
ours? If not, how could theirs possibly be different?, I mean
their number could be writen diferently but shurely it would be
the same wouldn't you think so? - dane
i could tell you but i've promised not to tell
DC i want
your serious insight on this , Mathermatic, how do we know that
mathermatics that we humans have invented is correct or just correct
to us ?, I mean it could be totally wrong, it works for us, but
with using our mathermatics, do you really know how far the next
sollar system is? and even if we can work out correctly how much
fuel it would take to get there using our mathermatics, which
is right to us could it in fact be wrong? . - dane
yes but everything is wrong... if it works we go with it is the
basic human idea
do you eat
tuna? just wondering cause my wife does but she is a vegitarian,
which avoids the whole point of being a vegitarian i suppose but
it is the only animal product she will eat - dane
no i don't that is not a vegetarian... to me a vegetarian doesn't
eat any meat including seafood, chicken and turkey
want to know what it is like to kill someone, what do you think
would be the closest way to feel that feeling without actually
killing someone? - dane
greater opertunities avallible to people these days in any chosen
feild, why are fewer people not acheiving greatness to the required
and the individual want level compared to many years ago, do you
think it could be that there are way more opions and those opions
are more difficult to get these days? - dane
fewer people are achieving greatness because more people are being
told what to do and not to think... they are scared to try things,
don't think for themselves and can't live without the tv...
know on willy wonka and the chocolate factory when the cast walked
into the world of imagination room on the movie the cast where
actually seeing it for the first time so their reaction to the
amazing set was real? - dane
no i didn't know
is your actuall job? , i mean you cant survive on this so what
do you do to make a living? - dane
i could tell you but you wouldn't believe me... so i'll just say
proud of me? - dane
no i have no reason to be
the sock monkeys do when another sock monkey dies? , what is the
funeral like ? - dane
i can't tell you that is a secret that only sock monkeys can know
doesnt only restric itself to humans DC, did you know that squirells
have inisiations too? where the squirell has to put as many nuts
in its mouth all at once and some squirells have been found with
deforemed mouths because of it, isnt that funny? - dane
kind of but not really.. not as funny as that crow with telephone
poles for feet
I know you
dont like people using your magnificant Q&A page to put links
on but can i put this link on your page ? its just one of my favorite
pages and it would be cool if i could share its beauty with other
pathetic people such as myself - dane
hell no... if you know i don't like it then DON'T DO IT... do
you really think i'm going to keep letting your questions through
if you do shit i don't like?
give me a good question award dam it, the question was about why
do people ask how are you , i really dopnt think they care , so
pull your socks up DC dam it - dane
no and i'll make sure it never gets to that page just to make
maggot is a funny word dont you? - dane
do you own
a digital camera? - dane
no jcp does
Why do so
many people hate tomatoes? They don't even taste like anything.
i don't know anyone who hates them ... i like them
DC i saw
a question someone asked you where to find the G-spot on a female
and you said you were not quite sure and told them to finbd out
and enlighten you well ill do it for you so here it goes, Most
people think the G-spot on a female is the clitorus but they are
wrong , the clitorus is like a penis it is just a feel good organ
the actuall G-spot is located on the upper wall of in iner vaginal
hole as you may want to call it , it is about the lengh of your
middle finger in and if you stick your finger in you might be
able to find it on the top wall it feels like a little pebble
hard but not as hard as a rock, the male has three G-spots and
they are all in the rectum. I hope this may come usfull to you
thanks for the update
you today DC? - dane
every thing in life seems to go wrong for me? - dane
that's just the way it is for someone like you
they call the adams apple the adams apple? - dane
you mean you don't know? hahaha
consider a man that takes up knitting as a hobbie cause he has
nothing to do , to be rather homosexually oreintated to the max
or maybe just to the xam? - dane
how does knitting make someone homosexual? are you saying only
chicks can knit? that's damned sexist
backwards is CD like CD's that you play on your stereo, isn't
that fasinating? - dane
no it isn't
do you often
simmer through old questions you have answered and chuckle at
your responses? - dane
"spontainious humam combustion" is considered to be
very rare , should i be worried that it could happen to me at
all ? - dane
no i say to taunt it and douse yourself in gas and sit by some
candles just to scoff at fate
planets line in perfect formation willthe earth open and reveal
a hell firery extant death that will be the end of all man kind
? - dane
no that will just be a brief setback
effect of the suns blazing rays mean that if i go outside i will
be vapourized into ash? - dane
not yet give it a few hundred years more
is it gratuitous
to exept free drugs or free drug money ? - dane
yes so send them to me
you where the one asking the questions and i was the one answering
them? - dane
the questions would be well thought out, intelligent and amusing
and the answers would be skipped
websites www. why are there 3 w's? - dane
world wide web
I hate it
when you click something on the computer like restore your desktop
and it says " are you sure you want to restore your desktop
" , how stupid , have you actually ever clicked a button
and it said blah blah are you sure then you thought well now when
i come to think about it i dont ? - dane
it asks you because people are stupid and need to be asked ARE
get any awards on the Questionnaire. I'm crushed. Am I not as
insane anymore? McDiablo
sure you're insane... i'm just prompting you to push that insanity
to new heights...
I have chicken
breath....what should I do to get rid of it so I don't scare away
vegetarians and what not? McDiablo
brush your teeth and have a few green peppers
Why is my
sister's room clean? This is truly a first.......... McDiablo
she is trying to suck up before asking your parents for something
why do we
cuz it feels good
I just got
invited to play in the band at the premiere of the film "Dirty
Deeds"!!! We get $120 an hour, get introduced to the stars,
and get to see the movie and unlimited food free!!!! Is that not
most royally cool? - Fish
that is very cool and would be even cooler if you sent me some
of that money
freaky!!! I did a survey of the Year 7/Form 1 students just coming
into our high school for the past few years, and I found that
they are getting shorter!!! The average height for year 7's is
getting smaller by approximately 2cm a year!!! At this rate, in
50 years they'll be so small we accidentally tread on them!! Should
I capture year 7's and have a tug-o'-war with them to make them
longer? - Fish
year 7 form 1? i'm thinking thats a uk school system type of thing...
? and yes people are getting shorter and stupider
fuck has my nose gone? It was here a minute ago, and now its disappeared!
Is it off sniffing the cat again? - Fish
yes... and i'd give them a few minutes alone before barging in
that you haven't given out any good question awards in a long
time. Why is that? And don't say that they wern't worth it, coz
I've seen a number that were up to the standard. -Waxter
well it's my opinion that matters when it comes to giving out
awards... and i don't think that many have deserved them lately...
or perhaps the good are getting lost in the many shitty ones making
me bitter towards all the questions in general
is terrified of clowns, ventriloquists dummies and spiders. I
want to make her watch the movies It (with an evil clown), Childs
Play (with an evil ventriloquists dummie) and Eight Legged Freaks
(with evil spiders) so that she will be able to face her fears,
but she refuses to see them. How can I get her to watch them with
me (no physical violence of course)? -Waxter
pay her lots of money and promise to pick up your socks
On the topic,
what are you scared of? - Waxter
badly written stories... rocks that bite... horses
I am capable
of lifting my own weight. I am also capable of lifting a chair.
I am also capable of lifting my own weight puls the weight of
a chair. So why then, am I unable to get myself off the ground
when I sit on a chair and lift? - Waxter
you need to work out more... gravity is kicking your ass
ever heard of the author Philip Jose Farmer? If you like good
sci fi like enders game, I would really reccomend anything by
Farmer. - Waxter
no i haven't and i'll add that to my
it be cool to be able to give someone an orgasm just by looking
at them? I reckon it would, you could embarass the hell out of
anyone! (while also giving them a good time) - Waxter
yes and i'd have people pay me to look at them
If you could
have any superpower, what would it be? - Waxter
means God of Death.Do you know what means Goddess of Death?-Skittles
sometimes yes but other times no
how do you
measure your weight?kilos?pounds?
do you know
where i can find a borderland? i want to go to the Territories.
perhaps i should follow the Beam.-marissa
i would give up everything to go there and i've booked it for
after my death
you think about stem cell research?
i think it could be good but since it's humans who are doing this
it will go horribly wrong
how do you
cope up with all these questions? -Bearded-
i have no idea... and i deleted a whole bunch of them this time
Do you actually
have to think up good answers to each of the questions? -Bearded-
i give as good as an answer i think it deserves... if the question
obviously has no thought behind it then i put no thought behind
you do if someone broke into your home and stole your most prized
well i'd be dead after they stole my brain... and i'd be mighty
pissed if they stole my pillow
just hate people that rip off your ideas and try to make themselves
look as cool as you ? -Bearded-
yes i do
such a thing as a love potion? -Bearded- do all old people smell
funny? -Bearded- if someone came up to you and said, "why
the hell are you stepping on my fucking toes!!!", what would
you say? -Bearded- Would you own up for something you did even
though someone else would gladly take the blame? -Bearded- If
you had a deepest, darkest, secret, would you tell someone about
it? and that someone is a person that you could trust with your
i were scared to be alone, would you come and sit by my side?
-Bearded- if the was one place you could choose to go, which place
would that be? -Bearded- why did you choose a dinosaur head for
the good question award? -Bearded- Would you leave your sock monkey
companion for better sex with a human? -Bearded- do you even have
a sock monkey companion? -Bearded- how long is your tongue? -Bearded-
do you ever feel that time is passing by too fast? -Bearded- do
you prefer curly or straight hair? -Bearded- if someone dared
you to wear a turban for 20 days staright without taking it off,
would you? -Bearded- would you jeopardize your career to pursue
your dream? -Bearded- do you believe in ghosts? -Bearded- Do you
believe in soulmates? -Bearded- if soulmates were indeed a fact,
would you ever find that person? and if you did, would you tell
the person how you felt, even if you may be rejected? -Bearded-
ok thats just too many and i refuse to answer ... i should have
just grouped all of danes together too and given one answer
and I'm tired, I have lots of work to do, but I could do it tomorrow.
Should I go to bed? - Waxter Am I cool? Why is it that the later
it gets and the more tired I get, the more insane I become? -
Waxter Aren't cockneys cool? I think they rule! If you see a cockney,
tell him he's cool. - Waxter Oops, that last question rhymed.
And I know how much you hate little poems. Silly me. I'm feeling
quite foolish. I'll just go off to bed now. Will you read me a
bedtime story and tuck me in? - Waxter
tell me I'm cool. Please oh please tell me I'm cool! - Waxter
about this. You have never seen the outside. You have spent your
entire life up to this point locked in a single room. One day,
the door is unlocked and you wander outside into the middle of
a bustling city. What would your first reaction be? - Waxter
i'd piss myself
I saw my
cat sniffing toothpaste....Theres something wrong isnt there?What
should i do?-Skittles
i'd give the cat more tuna treats
So, I did
a lot of work and I brought it back to life. BogGoblin has returned.
Admittedly, I accidentally wiped 3 months of the "Cats Are
Saints" section and I'm not sure how to tell Sally or the
Cat Higher chamber. Are you glad to have BogGoblin back? Do you
think the cats will forgive me? - Mzebonga
i will have to check that out and i won't tell sally if you don't
want me to... and i think the cats will forgive you
I have a major impact on the world?
wipe out a species