is a douche an old form of birth control?
that i do not know... but if i had to guess then i'd say i'm sure it's been tried.. what i'd like to know is why there are no ANTI-fertility plans... Infertility pills... shit like that so you don't have to worry about breeding...

If leafs were used as currency to buy mass quantities of airplane peanuts, in the fall would they turn counterfeit
or they would get close to having a shot at giving you a shiny cup and then suddenly it's all over and you're sitting there feeeling alone and scared

I have created unlimited power by using one battery to charge the next and then using that battery and looping to make my power. should i share the secret, promise me u wont tell anyone ok.
sounds wonderful with no apparent drawbacks... i won't tell anyone

If I don't put a question mark at the end of this sentence will you still answer it. -Laser-Monkey(aka GrimmKaos)
yes... but only because of your cute little ass and that shiny thing you brought me the other day

What are five amazing facts about chickens
1. they exsist... 2. they produce eggs... 3. they run around insanely... 4. the way they fold laundry... 5. i don't eat them anymore so they've stopped pecking out my eyes while i sleep

you know when people are quoting something stupid "that's what they say" Who exactly is they? - Jessi
well every two years 'they' are replaced by a new group... right now 'they' are your mother, myself, that bitch from down the street, mr Kras, that rabbit that got hit by a car and the cast of that really bad play

bonjour!fracais?que est cest le raquett?
damnit i've told you people... i don't know multiple languages at the moment... i haven't gotten to that on my list yet ... so when i do then we'll go multi-lingual questions but for now keep it in english

what are fudgesicles made out of?ive always wondered that, i looked at the ingrediants but that didnt tell me nothing so i decided to ask the computer but all it gave me were some naked pictures of tom hanks and britany spears.Not saying that was bad or anything i enjoyed that very much for a few minutes but still i wondered what was in this delicious fudge i decided as a last resort ...what is it dc?
they are made out of fudge aren't they? if not then that's false advertising and i'm pissed... and you've got a fun computer... can i play???

I talks to pigs, makes love to chickens drives a book bus has long hair all over my body Who Am I?
you are you... that guy from the book bus...

Can you give me a definition to this word, please.....that word being "fucktard". McDiablo
well it's when you're a cross between a fuck-up and a retard

If you don't swear, does that automatically make you a Christian? McDiablo
hell no... you can't be one of those until you start telling others how to live their lives, treat women like slaves, use your god's name to justify killing and of course, make sure that others don't listen to 'evil' music that FORCES them to kill themselves...

Will I catch fire? McDiablo
twice but you'll live through it

Hey DC it's been a while since i asked you a question.. are you still as cool as you were the last time i asked a question? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course... perhaps a bit cooler since i've learnt how to use that thing called the 'stove' to boil water

my brother called me on my cell phone and whispered "i am batman".. but the thing is i had finished drinking a big slurpee so i'm not sure if it was real or a dream.. what do you think? -Slur-peed kid
i think either you have a fun bat loving brother or one hell of a good slurpee dealer...

i got my blue guitar from abbotsford.. but my question in when we drive down 132st it always smells like fish.. why? - Guitarded
i blame the fish and the fans blowing the fish smell into your face

i'm watching tv and Conan is on.. he's trying to get higher ratings by having car chases like they have on LA tv cuz they have all those crazy car chases on thos channels.. but anyways Conan is low budget so he has toy cars hooked up by strings going through the studio... it makes me laugh.. does it make you laugh? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no i don't find him amusing... or any of those show hosts... tom green was funny when he was on local tv here (yes he's from canada if you remember and we got to see him on local access televison when he was still funny) other then that i think that i should have my own show to show up my second-cousin ed the sock

why do allergies suck so much? - Guitarded
to force you into buying little pills to 'clear your head' but it's all just an expierement by the cats... they shoot off pollen from flowers, and dander from their asses to make you feel like hell until you take their pills... then they watch to see what happens... they just shove whatever they can into the pill making machine

Why did my degree have a work placement? Why am I now working 9-5 for a business solutions company? Why do they think I'm a fucking psychic? Why am I doing PowerPoint presentations on web design? Why is the managing director such a "set-in-his-ways" bugger? Why-o-why-o-why did I get myself into this mess? - Mzebonga
it doesn't end... pretty soon you're in charge of the damned intranet and people call you with stupid questions all the time and so the intranet is online and now everyone wants everything online but instead of wanting to learn how to update it for their own department they are all 'but why can't YOU do it?" as if you don't have anything better to do like say manage 6 to 8 people so that other people don't bitch about 'response time'... then the damned biz plan needs to be done up and lucky you... a confidentiality agreement revision... i say get out now while there is still time...

Fido Dido. Do you think that's got something to do with the 7UP guy or is it an assertation that Dido is a dog? I'm guessing the former, because you would have to be completely mental to think the latter. - Mzebonga
hey this is ASK DC... but i assumed it was the 7up dude where the name came from... that or some of those parents that think that kinda shit is funny to do to their kids

Can you spell check my questions? I do the same for you. - Mzebonga
well it was easier with frontpage sadly enough to do that but now that i'm using dreamweaver it just takes too long to go through it so i gave up... i am a lazy lazy sock monkey

fuck, where the hell are my pants? - SiNiSTaR
oh... i think these are yours... sorry about that

dOnTcHa ThInK aLt-CaPs ArE cOoL?? HeE hEe sNoRt HiGgLeDy PiGgLeDy? - SiNiSTaR
no i think that is very annoying... it's ok in your name but that's it

i was gone for awhile, but i am back baby. did you miss me *whimpers like a sick puppy*? - SiNiSTaR
of course... no one rubs my tail quite like you... or empriss nikon... or sally when empriss nikon isn't looking... or mzebonga when everyone IS looking... or marissa when she gets addicted to sugar...

have you ever been molested by a teacher, like i have when i was only 11? - SiNiSTaR
not that i remember but then again do most people play 'strip math' with their math teacher?

why does watching football make my pussy all wet? - SiNiSTaR
it's the helmets and that sexy brown ball

do u watch big brother?

why doesn't my dad let me eat or drink by the computer?
well unless you get one of those 'skins' that cover your keyboard it is probably because you are sloppy and will spill everything into your keyboard ruining it for everyone... plus he's just being mean

do u like weezer?
i don't object to them

why am i pathetic?
it's the moldy cheese clothing you insist on wearing... that whole 'wear & eat' idea isn't working out

will i do well in my exams?
most of them... but that ONE... and you know the ONE i'm talking about... that won't go so well

I was looking back at old questions and I saw that Mzebonga was once for sale. Is he still for sale? Can I buy him? I need someone to clean my house. Would you clean my house? I'd clean yours, you know. Anytime. I'll come over now ad clean it if you want me too.
well he's a bit busy getting his website working smoothly now that he's broken up with his ex-hosting company... so he's not for sale until after all that is taken care of and he's retrained for slave work

So, yeah, Nonnie told me I should go and buy a block of cheese for my lil *problem*, you know, the one Mike and I was talking about after I saw Jonny and cheated on my boyfriend with him. Hope he doesn't find out...but anyways....what was I talking about? Oh yeah! So then Julie was all "oh yeah?" and was all "oh whatever!" then Kati said "duuuuude!" and then we laughed. But my question!! So is Connor right about Greg and Frank fucking? And did he join in? Should I really listen to Nonnie? And why was Helen and Pete around the dead body site? And whatever happened to Jane after she ran away to join the circus? And everyone else is jumping off Miller's cliff tonite, shouldI join them? I mean it's ALL they'll talk about afterwards.... Oh DC! I'm so confused! What do you think of my pedicament? Please answer all my questions! - Brooke
well... let me say first that julie has issues and if it's the same one that's with red then i'd run away from her... she's crazy like the wind... as for greg and frank they don't want us discussing them... connor is just jealous... nonnie lies half the time but has good food... jane freed the animals and is currently making figurines out of clay... helen and pete are the same person... they suffered from some traumatic event... and just push people off the cliff... by helping it's as good as jumping yourself... and i think your predicament is pretty average...

i hope you live with your mom or a girl or your a girl or that your gay or you live with a gay guy cus your shower curtains seem just a lil bit on the homo side I dont know..just my opinon but trust me if your a straight male sockmonkey dont let people in your bathroom! they'll talk..or change your shower curtains man!There pretty ugly too ..
who says that's even my place? and who are you to say that shower curtains are gender specific? sounds like you're very sexist and just can't deal with your own sexuality... shower curtains are about making sure you soak the rest of your bathroom while having a shower... and if people are going to talk, they'll be talking about my pink furniture and 'throw pillows'

hows the single life goin?if thats if you are single...
well life in general is pretty annoying and i'm about to take off in my spaceship and be single forever

how the chicken cookin? how do you cook a chicken?
i'm not sure... i don't eat chicken and can't cook

its my birthday today (June 7th). w00t for me! whens your birthday? - Fido Dido
cool for you... mine is july 7... be sure to send me lots of money in the mail

why do the KFC people throw boiling fat over me when i come in there store?grease stains suck...
stay away from them! not only is the food beyond disgusting (i mean seriously LOOK at it) but the logo is evil...

i painted my coffe table with 10 bottles of nail polish. Arnt you proud of me?
yes unless it's pink

kkkkkkkkkkelllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy RULES!!!!try and argue that!!
well kellykins would agree and i agree that kellykins rules

how old is your mom?she wouldnt tell me...but by the look of the aging on her tits i say 34 and a i right?
actually she's turning 50 this month... but i'll tell her you said that and she'll be pleased

how do you cook a computer?mine never tastes good!
you have to pre-cook the harddrive and simmer the memory in some spices before stuffing them back in the computer case and cooking it for a few hours

will you be my friend?im lonley...
if you pay me then i'd love to be your friend

It's sunny outside, but it's cold....should I wear shorts or pants? Vista
wear both and discard what you don't need later on

Is it so wrong that I don't want to see "Spider-man"? Vista
no because i don't want to see it either... so you and i will watch something else

Why was there such a long line-up to see Winnie the Pooh, but not Mickey? Vista
winnie the pooh doesn't wear pants

Do typos bother you? Vista
if every word is spelt wrong then yes... or words like 'the' and that sorta stuff... i don't like it when people use "U" and "R" instead of 'you' and 'are'

i hate those stupid ab' like you wear this patch thing around your gut and it you're gonna get abs..i don't get it..and the before and after pics..before the guy had a gut, and after, he was sucking it you couldn't notice?Then there's always that god awful united furniture warehouse commercial with that little kid whose all doped up and's like "you forgot the bomp bomp"...who cares...oh, and clint from carpet cents...."my wife says i need to do two things: lose some weight and sell some carpets"....well i could've told him that....anyways, i could go on forever about this, but i was wondering what commercials make you wanna throw your tv out the window? -lunchbox
most beer commercials... as jcp says 'is there ever a fucking chick in the that isn't the 'girlfriend' or some slut?'... and maxi pad commercials... and that stupid big boy commercials with the WORST animations ever or that damned kid from the welches grape juice that remembers drinking it at 5... i want her to choke on a grape and DIE.... and i refuse to watch anything that has that airhead britney bullshit in it

do you have super powers? are you secretly super man....or sock?...if so, then that's fuckin oomla! -lunchbox
yes... and i am super sock monkey... and i know you want to touch my cape but i don't suggest trying it

its my birthday!!Give me a present!!...please? i have manners..give me the present im the birthday girl i get everthing give me stuff my daY!!!! give me all your stuff... i will half to kil u
you send me money to buy you a gift and maybe i will

My Green Day CD was collecting dust! Do we have a lot of dust in our house, or should I just listen to that CD more often? McDiablo
well i guess that all depends on how much you like green day... i say you go out, buy me some stuff and mail it to me... while doing that, put your green day in your pocket... that way it won't collect dust

Will you hold my hand? I'm scared....McDiablo
only if you promise to hold my tail

Will people think I'm weird for "interviewing" Satan? McDiablo
not at all... if someone can claim to have 'conversations' with god then you can interview satan

my name Fido Dido is from that cool 7up dude. I'm sure i've already answered this question before. Do people even bother to read the past questions? I know i do. - Fido Dido
yea you have answered that before... but most people don't have the time to read 30 pages of past questions!

Damn... you remember! It was a shiny helmet. Email me or something!! I would like to see Freddy Prinze JR have his head severed. Can you accomplish this? If so, do you require my help? -Laser-Monkey
perhaps i will email you... perhaps i won't... i can accomplish anything but need to be bribed....

why did I get detention for calling my gym teacher a petafile if it's true?
well to be honest... puppets can't testify in a court of law... so you need to find some human victims

I had a root beer mixed with orange slurpee today...are you happy now? Vista
yes... did you enjoy it?

Speaking of slurpees, is it bad that I tend to drink them rather fast? By the time I get home, I am finished drinking it....Vista
no.. if that is a problem then buy two... or get a bigger bucket

my brother like to place my tigger dolls i got from mcdonalds in "provocative" positions.. i do not approve as i think it's a rip off of sock monkey porn what do you think? -Miss Roger's Sweater
it's not a rip off unless you use sock monkeys... and are you taking pictures of it?

Every time i look at my hand i have a slurpee in it.. is this a bad thing? - Slur-peed Kid
yes... stop looking at your hand

"Do you have ID on you?" "No sorry i just have my drivers lisence" my friend and i thought that was quite funny what do you think? -Miss Roger's Sweater
i think your friend should be smacked in the head

i made duct tape ties for me and my friend to wear when playing with our old highschool's jazz band for there spring concert.. cool? -Miss Roger's Sweater
sure... i've seen clothing made from duct tape

am i a mothman?cus i just watched that movie bout that mothman and he is just like me!i was totally freaked out, its like he totally stole my personality or my twin or something.. aHH!!HELP!
i haven't seen that so i'm going to go with no

i just rubbed soil and weedkiller in my face, ...mmm... Do cats have penises? cus i have a cat but i cant find one on him..whats up with that?
yes cats have penises and if you can't find it then maybe it's neutered or you have a female cat or your cat is actually a toy cat

shit!were the fuck is my gihak?i gotta have my gihak..if i dont find my gihak the cream cheese will melt Then the whole trip is screwed!! me out!!!
sorry... you're screwed

In your next porn sock monkey photo could you please rip your ass open or one of your porno friends then take out the cotton, place it on a penis.. try it People will love it! me! and moneys in the mail
no way... that HURTS

is tard retarded?
yes... i don't personally use either terms

When are the pirate donkeys of the north going to rid me of my infestation of green jelly loving kangaroos?
in september but only if you send 4 payments of only 19.99

dont ya get my lingo arnt you down wit me?the master ryhming bee...1 2 2 2 2 2 3 check out the scratch my man mike he is tight got a fight wit my lady san Down wit the master plan?tight..tiiighhtt...tight..(fades away)Now that my friend is called talent.
damnit shut up... it's people like you that make things SUCK

could you spam my lube up please?
only if you pay me in colored paper

how can i find good quoets
look here

damn them.. my mp3 player still hasnt arrived... grrr.... why hasnt it arrived yet? - Fido Dido
well first of all they wanted to play with it a bit more... then the delievery person wanted to 'test' it and once it's broken then you'll get it

is it summer yet? cos i just dont feel it... - Fido Dido
it was damned hot today so summer is here

If you sped up a tape of the BeeGees, would it rise to such a pitch that it would be only audible to dogs? Mr H
why would anyone do that to poor dogs?

why do they have brail at the drive-up window at the bank? -s.a.m.-
they are trying to mess with your heads... and why go through the extra cost of getting rid of them from normal ATMs....

why is it that there are tons of pics of nude women in everyday magazines and none of guys?
try writing the magazines and asking... if it's a chick mag then it's because they want to brainwash chicks into thinking that they should look like that... and if its a guy mag then its to brainwash them into thinking that chicks are just for looking at... either way it sucks

why are fleas brown?? -keglineq
they aren't.. they just want you to SEE brown

why wasn't 'Not Another Teen Movie' called '10 Things I Hate About Clueless Roadtrips When I Can'#t Hardly Wait To Be Kissed'?? -keglineq
too long for the idiots who watch that sorta shit

You think you can sell me again, huh? Well you're wrong! You'll never find me again. You'll never get me to do all those things for free. Well, not unless you do them to me too. I can make a lot of money doing what I once did for you. I just saw a Ron Jeremies documentary/film. Hah, if he can do it, so can I! What do you think to that, little sock monkey? - Mzebonga
i say you get over here and let me spank you... and then i'll sell your red little ass to whomever i please...

i have to say im extremly impressed by that plastic bag collection but why not widen your collection and get some paper bags or material (coton,polyester etc..) worth alot more and extreme prize to have in collections also i have a bag collection of my own searchin for some good deals with a big wallet (if ya know what i mean;))i need to get rid some of this stuff out of this wallet, how bout it d?
well we're only interested in the plastic... we're not hardcore collectors of all bags in general

lately ive been feelin a lot of peer presure from my friends (im not good with peer presure) so now im pregnant and on drugs, what should i do?
kill your friends then kill youself

i have never gone to church.....i live in the south..... all my friends think im evil and that im goin to hell, will u come with me when i do?
they aren't your friends... i'd suggest moving far away from them all and ignoring anything they've said

why do they put brail outside of bathrooms? its not like the blind r gonna be aimlessly walkin around and they just happen to find brail on the wall......and how convenient....they have to use the bathroom just then. -xxxxx-
hey... you never know.. .just because someone is blind doesn't mean they can't wander around feeling things then suddenly have to piss...

why do people say that peoples only wish is to see the maple leafs win?i mean what sad pathetic person would waste there wish on that, I mean its a stupid fucking hockey game!stupid!
you mean win the cup... and some people have nothing else to live for... or they've seen everything else

One leg is fatter than the this perfectly normal?-Berpee
sure... unless it's a few feet longer

when i said football i suppose i should have said soccer? i meant the world cup *grin*.. so do you watch it, and even if you don't who are you rooting for? - SiNiSTaR
i don't watch it so i don't know who's playing...

why can't i see the sea? everyone else says its there... where in God's name is it?? - SiNiSTaR
i told you that you could take the blindfold off... i won't punish you

my cat has a swollen paw because he strained it so now i'm calling him Bigfoot, don't you thing that's witty? - SiNiSTaR
it's amusing... not witty...

i think i'm in love with that guy... what shall i do? he doesn't know me...p/s: this is a serious question - SiNiSTaR
either go up and talk to him or stop thinking about it altogether... and you're obviously not in love if you haven't even spoken with him

that day two monkeys climbed over the fence and entered my garden... i was inside and i was scared... they sorta looked around then climbed up my tree, what did they want actually? - SiNiSTaR
some salad... a few socks and a kazoo

what the hell happened to at the drive in? - SiNiSTaR
well i think it was the whole 'car' thing that caused the disaster

have you ever been to munich? you should check out the toy museum if you ever go.. - SiNiSTaR
no i haven't... but if i ever am there i will be sure to.. in fact you should pay for me and a few friends to come visit it so i can tell you what i think of it

do you guys have any clue as to when your new section of the page will be ready? i'm shaking in my little spaceboots thinkin about it....-SiNiSTaR
haha yea i've been bugging jcp to get it completed... i don't quite know yet but believe me i'm trying

when is that little tart gonna give me back my guitar case? it is getting all scratched, my poor lil baby...-SiNiSTaR
demand it back... she only wants it to keep her collection of human teeth

why? why you always kick me when i'm high? - SiNiSTaR
cuz you always ask me when you're high and so i kick you

Where did all my paper go? Should I go for neon pink and burn people's retinas...or not? McDiablo
i say go for that really bright yellow/green neon that hurts the eyes

Should I ask you for advice...or how about just a stupid 'ol question? McDiablo
um i don't know.. how about you ask me a question and i answer it a day later????

Has it gotten to the point when you expect me to ask questions? Like, you receive them from me and go, "Oh, here's a question from surprise there".... McDiablo
haha no it hasn't gotten to that point yet... i do wonder what happened to people when they disappear for awhile though... with others i'm pleased when they get a clue and go away

why did my penguin lose it's penis? and how did the squirrel that stole it eat it?
the squirrel took it and ate it raw

Why do people at the web lie? I say this because I know a lot of people that lie there. Can these mean the world is going to be taken by some sort of super zebras with laser guns? PLZ HELP!!
they just can't handle being themselves so they lie to make themselves feel better.. or to punish themselves for being nasty liars... other times it's just fun to do and the truth just isn't applicable or needed... and who told YOU about the super zebras?

Well my birthday was june 5th haha so both me and fido are geminis. No wonder we are wierd, why? Sally
well good bdays to you both... i'm a CANCER... how fitting

When is it okay to hump a beachball?
when it says yes without being filled with alcohol

Some people think that even when sex is really bad its alright but thats all wrong isn't it?
not if it's alright with them both

Now with this snail mail is it obvious that it is from the insane domain or is it like just a plain white envelope or do you have from the insane domain on the front?
it will have a TheInsaneDomain return address on it... it is otherwise a plain envelope but i'm not sure if it will be white or some other color... it WILL be labeled though unless otherwise specified

Please tell me how I can make my depression go away. And tell Alfred that I understand what he's going through, and it never gets better.
exercise 20mins a day every other day... take more b vitamins... if needed get some therapy... you can talk to me for only $85 an hour...

why do my parents tell me i'm special?
cuz you are special... special in that 'can't have forks' way

how big can vaginas get?
that all depends on the vagina and it's health

i just drank a slurpee and my lungs hurt.. what the heck? -Slur-peed Kid
next time stop to breath while sucking back the slurpee

hmm how does the caramel get in the caramilk bar? i think little dwarfs use syringes and inject the caramel what do you think? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they create the little cup half of the chocolate bar, then put frozen peices of caramel in the cups, then cover them with melted chocolate to seal the bar... at least that's my guess

i rolled up my pants today, i find this easier than wearing shorts.. am i nuts? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no that sounds like a good idea... i have pants that you can unzip the legs and turn into shorts

uh where have all the green slurpee straws gone? - Slur-peed Kid
they ran out... use the black straws they're cooler anyways

Have you sex with sock monkey?
is it that hard to piece together a coherent sentence you people??? and for those wondering why their stupid shit didn't get posted then perhaps because you DIDN'T ASK A QUESTION or just typed in bullshit that doesn't mean anything or in another language which i told you isn't allowed

Where on earth is Carmen Santiago? Mystic Murray
i think i saw her in italy

has anyone ever told you you have sold out to satan and his will? - SiNiSTaR
how can i sell out to myself?

what's your definition of obese and anorexic? - SiNiSTaR
too fat to get out of your house is pretty damned obese and if someone won't eat and looks like they're starving then that is anorexic... i think both are sick and do NOT find bony chicks attractive in any way

why don't you change your taste in men? it's been this way since christmas day... - SiNiSTaR
i'm enjoying my taste in men...

i feel so lonely right now, it is the middle of the night and i have been working sooo hard on my goddamned project that is due on friday. my eyes feel like they're gonna bleed, dried up and bulging out my skull... my mouth is dry, my face is numb, fucked up and spun out in my room... anyway what shall i do? - SiNiSTaR
i say you get some celery or other such items from the fridge, arrange them into strange faces, then open your window (if you have no window then make one) and throw the items at whatever is there... and then paste parts of your reports to your walls

i am actually in love with Mzebonga because i find him to be very odd indeedy. there i said it, are you happy now?? - SiNiSTaR
well i'm a bit jealous but i'm sure mzebonga is quite pleased and probably getting a 'funny' feeling in his 'tummy'

are you thinking of a name change? because DC is like SOOOO yesterday. actually i have nothing better to ask... pardon me if you find it rude. - SiNiSTaR
hell no DC rocks and you're just hoping i get rid of it so you can steal it and use it to parade around town in

can you please let me know as soon as the site has been updated? i'm practically pissing my pants waiting for you guys.. please email me thanks you're a doll! or rather, sock monkey.. - SiNiSTaR
well you see if i do it for you then i have to do it for EVERYONE who comes to the site... and even then... when we update anything at all on the site or just the ask dc? jcp and i do a lot of updates on this site every week... we just don't annouce them all to you people

do you kow what a bitch it is to have your period?? - SiNiSTaR
why yes i do actually.... searing pain... that feeling of dripping all day long into diapers... getting a nice wad of blood and flesh on your toliet paper... i've also know what a bitch it is to die... it's such a rush once you get over the initial pain though... i can't wait to try it again

what the hell is going on?
i bet you're trying to be witty from the snail mail page...

if your expecting a slap in the face is a kick in the ball a vicyory
use a ?... is it that hard????

I will Mzebonga's relectance to be purchased as a sign that I will now have to kidnap him. That I will now procede to do. Wish me luck although I don't need it.
this isn't a question either... for that i will hide mzebonga from your clutches

Should I ask you for advice...or how about just a stupid 'ol question? McDiablo I asked that the other day and it was left on the page unanswered....what happened? Technical difficulties?? McDiablo
but i DID answer it... maybe you've gone INSANE haha

My eyes hurt from chlorine in the darned swimming pool...what should I do? McDiablo
blink... and keep on blinking till everything is ok again

Why is the World cup in Korea/Japan? Why not just Korea or just Japan? McDiablo
are you saying that you won't support this world cup because of this? are you saying that you wanted it in your backyard and that you wouldn't share it with ANYONE? are you saying that the purple ostrich ate the eggs but only after you added some garlic and spices?

im an old man!!!omg!!!will you play with my dead saggy penis? ill play with yours not tail penis!thats if ya have one....ou never talk about it?is it cus you dont have one?if so thats ok...i mean i cant say much look at mine..better to have none then have minei think i should cut it off...only an annoance mm....penises
someone has just discovered the word penis... we're so very proud of you

how do you contract lobsters? your own seldom penis
<sound of loud no buzzer to shut you up and move along to the next >

but im not on this earth to please you im here to please the lil boys..mmm..know any?
i say you leave the lil boys alone and get some grown up consenting ones... and take your finger out of your nose...

i will kill you january 9 2004...there will be a snow storm..the electricty will go will be all alone in your house with your dog outside...freezing to death, I will eat him.You will be on the will see will come will see will die.
as if i'd have a dog... and as if i'd leave it outside to freeze... the rest is fine though and i'll pencil you in

I like the pictures of the new sock monkey friends, how did you meet?-Berpee
my mother made them.. and made as in got the material for sock monkeys, did something with a sewing machine to make them look like monkeys, shoved stuffing in them (not the thanksgiving kind) and then stitched them up so they were whole... then she brought them home from florida and i met them... Herbert is one of those monkeys and he's up for adoption still

Would you like to twy some speciawl fwied powk?-Lunchbox
hell no powk and pork are not allowed on my plate along with any other meat

Hey DC, is that Vacacci? how bout dat gucci? -Lunchbox
ok next

Puh-lease can i touch your cape? you won't forget it! promise!-Lunchbox
well... maybe... but give me all your marbles first... i seem to have lost mine

How old are you?
i'm 24 at the moment

did you know that the average cocker spaniel has the features of a conker spaniel? --InsaneLane
are you sure? has this been proven? did you see it on tv? what happened then?

What are you doing?I can see it!
i'm touching my tail... and i know you can see why do you think i'm touching my tail?

Are you brainless?(The Taimo)
not the last time i checked

is it smart to drink the bong water ?
well no but it's something everyone does by accident or on a dare at least once

are abdominal snowmen a type of monkie?
not today but i've had my moments... boy i'll never forget the winter of '96.. those were some good times

Why don't you write a list of the top ten people you hate? I'd kinda like to see that. (SAnimal doesn't count, because I don't want you hating my mother like that) - Mzebonga
hmmmm... well assuming i have to pick people who are living... hate is a pretty strong word so i had to put some thought into this one...
1. any child emitting noise
2. Fonzi the Bear (he knows why)
3. Bill Gates (damnit you have how much damn money and you can't produce even ONE good product for a half decent price you fucking bastard i want to hurt you and your damn 'this program has performed an illegal operation')
4. that stupid spears chick and everything she and those boybands stand for
5. lars ulrich
6. that fat stupid bitch who lives behind my apartment and lets her two disgusting idiot children scream in the pool for hours while they blast shitty top 10 music until i have to go out there and scream at them and then eventually call the cops on them to make them shut up before i snap and kill them all
7. my 4th grade teacher mr. mac for talking down to me

8. mary poppins (the two-timing lying whore)
9. pregnant women
10. whoever invented that stupid metal pick they use on your teeth at the dentist's

What does the band Korn stand for with a K instead of a C and a backwords R?
well they liked it that way and that jon guy was all 'damnit i'm sick of corn with a c i've had enough' and then he screamed until he got his way and the other band members said 'fine you freak but damnit we want that R backwards or we're walking bitch' and so they all agreed and that was that

Why some people are so stupid( ie me!)? They can't quite seems to manage to say whats in their head, and when they do, they only speak language from Mars. What did those clever dude get their brain from?
MOST people are stupid and they keep breeding more stupid kids every day... the clever break free from the stupidity and use their brains

when i cut the cheese, why does it smell?
i'm not sure... maybe it's the knife you're using

I am swimming in Paris. Does that mean I am in-seine? - Fish
it means that have what is commonly known as 'issues' but that's ok... what i'd be worried about if i were is the fact that my mom wants to lick you in a few weeks...

What is the air speed of the afracan swallow?

Why am i so damn tired? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i blame the caffeine and the whole 'refusing to sleep' thing

is making things out of beads only for 10 year old girls? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no... why must you be so sexist? are you saying 10 year old boys can't make things out of beads?

can you swim? i can't and have to use the cool kickboards.. but now my ribs hurt from using it yesterday.. -Miss Roger's Sweater
yes i can... i like swimming... i don't use any floatation or water sport items...

Does this slurpee straw make my ass look big? - Slur-peed Kid
well... yes actually... now that you mention it... damn now it's all i can see

i'm going camping this weekend with my friend's girl guide group, should i be scared of all the 11 year olds? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... very scared

hi DC. i am DC(DemoniCat) i have already asked a qeustion here, but i read thru one and it touched my heart. this isnt a question, it is a small request... tell your mom hi and tell her that shes really good at making the sock monkeys. i think she has a talent, and that she should keep making them. ^_^ would you tell her that for me please? thank you if you do.
i told her and she said thank you... she was very happy

I hate that goddamn priv! Stupid priv! What can I do to end the reign of terror caused by that almighty but terrible priv?
bold that text and reboot

is joel fat
no joel is just a name from the past

What is the difference between males and females?
not that much... it's all the same thing pretty much

if i blow my nose once a day for 32 years, will snot start coming out of my penis?
i'm not sure so give it a try

Do you find it crazy that there are 30 pages (and counting) of questions? McDiablo
i find it crazy that it almost hit 40 last time until i condensed them

I really want a sock monkey now after seeing pics of your friends, but I don't know if I can adopt and support one. I need all the funds I have to stupid school...are you able to cut me a deal? McDiablo
you can contact us through this form... and then we'll get back to you...

Do you like eating cookies for breakfast? McDiablo
yes... and sometimes chips... but mostly just coffee

do you ever want to hit people with sticks or long pointy objects when they are masturbating in the bushes behind your establishment? or when you think they are imageining you with out your clothes on and they call your penis a deter?
yes all the time

On the subject of your hate list... I know I asked for it, but... I thought you might like to know that Sally has just recently become an Aunty and I'm due to become an Uncle soon. Neither of us would like to think you have (or have had) a problem with our siblings, so, if you would like to amend your inclusion of "pregnant women" in your hate list, I would be much obliged. Or else, how would you like an axe in your head? - Mzebonga
that has no bearing on my answer... congrats to you both but pregnant women are quite sick in my books... so bring on the axe

Why all of a sudden am I ill?? All the fricken time! It sux!! What can I do to piss off others so they can at least feel a little of my evil wrath?
stop biting your nails.. you are putting germs directly into your mouth and that's getting you sick

I am coming for Mzebonga now. I've been thinking about this a lot actually. Does this mean I'm obsessed? (there! You got your question!) I think maybe I should go over to his house now and take him. Maybe I should go later.....I don't know. What do you think? Also, I'll have to restrain him in some way. How do you think I should restrain him? What should i use? Rope? Help! - Stalker
i have hidden him... until you pay you can't touch him... and i suggest electrical tape

what would happen if I crossed a chicken with an elephant? would the road and trunk warmer also be crossed? or merely cross? do inanimate objects have feelings? if I poke this cup, does it feel it? what would happen if everything not only had feelings, but could speak too? what would they say? what about animals? suppose animals could talk, and did so. I imagine that an awful lot of people would become vegetarians overnight. what do you think of vegetarians? what do you think (in general)? - Fido Dido
i think of those things all the time... i have sketches to proove it but i'm a vegetarian so i think they rock and basically i think that people don't think

at the drive in broke up for whoever asked....does jack off jill have a hidden meaning???? -keglineq
jack and jill is just a myth designed to scare young children into not having sex

my questions are really lacking creativity :( how can i improve them or should i go and die? -keglineq
you need to think longer before typing them in... spend time during the day coming up with them...

i left 32 "i'm sorry's" and one "i'm sowwy" on your machine sowhy haven't you called?? there's someone else isn't there??? it's that goddamn lamp hussy! the one that has the purple tassles. and don't lie cos i seen you using those tassels to tickle your tail!!!! how could you do this?? -keglineq
well my phone is broken due to a brief period of rage on my part... and how could i not? those tassles... how can i ever say no to tassles?

Do you think cowlicks are cool? i occassionally spike mine.. hehe - Miss Roger's Sweater
damn cool

how are you?
sore actually... kinda tired... but mostly sore

you gotten really grumpy dc..everthing ok at home?ya masturbate in while?cus i think you need a cleaning or stop being so grumpy or ill constanly call you sanimal..
sniff... you can come over and rub my tail to make me feel better... i just want to move away from here

Do you like watching pregnant woman on roller skates?
no as i do not enjoy looking at pregnant women

why is a raven like a writing desk?
it's the legs

you must be insane if you like think boney chicks are gross you must like those fat chunky chicks dont you???? DONT YOU????? i know you DO! your DISGUSTING arnt you???
i like healthy chicks... and soft fuzzy sock monkeys

how can we have the power to talk?
well i could explain it but that would take too long and i'm lazy

Do you like this poem? : Your throat has swelled. Dorothy told me to ask you why. But you cannot tell me. I wish I could know. Put down the tea, Put down the tea. -Laser-Monkey (your new psychic sex toy)
it's great and so are you... this psychic sex thing is great

on, will we be able to submit our own insane pictures and such? I have quite a large collection of pictures which I draw on my computer, although many arent all that good, alot are quite insane - Fido Dido
yes you will but don't send them until we set it up... we have a way of losing things

WTF is up with the secret of the lapdancing monkey??? I tried evrything!! All the options!! Every single one of them!! And, oh what adventures!! But no frickin monkey!! The closest I got when dying of rabies!!
yes there is a secret... sigh... the secret is that you are the lapdancing sock monkey if you follow the right route to it...

what happens when you flick it?
well the peaches pretty much go flying everywhere

why do chickens poop on my roof?
you told them to stop shitting in the pool

I think chipmunks will rule the world someday. Do you agree?
hell no... the CATS will

Can you pierce my nipples and my clit for me and chain them up?
sure but you'll have to provide me with the proper ID and sign some forms

what will happen if i eat my cocaine?
bad things

If I was to create a religion, get some followers, and set up a set of rules, would I become a god? Would I become equal to you oh great DC? Waxter
no but you should join my religion

Your ears look like kidneys. Do they perform the same function as kidneys? And if so, where do you urinate from? Waxter
no damnit leave my ears alone

I have always wanted to become a superhero. Where can i find something radioactive to give me special powers?
i'm not telling you... when i become spawn and lead hells army i don't need your costumed ass gettin in the way

There once was a monkey called Norm, Who liked to watch sock monkey porn. He rubbed DC's tail, Recieved snail mail, And fed his pal DC some corn. Do you like my poem? Do you think it's worthy of a Pulitzer? Waxter
um it's worthy of a cheese doodle and some straws

I've been gone for quite a while - things sure have changed around here...did you miss me?
of course... but i'm lying

too late... I wet myself with excitment... please don't beat me again... why do you beat me? - Fido Dido
you love it when i beat you and treat you rough... you beg for it and tell me what a bad little monkey you've been

I got two good answer awards in the What If's...I wonder why? McDiablo
it's because of that tail rubbing you gave me that one night...

I just sneezed...should I say "Bless you", "Gasundheit" or "Ouch"? McDiablo
say 'curse me' or 'oh oh... it's escaped'

What happened to unity? Did my mom flush it down the toilet again?? McDiablo
yes... yes she did because she secretly hates you just a tiny little bit

Is there really no "I" in team?-Feckur
of course not... that's why teams suck ass

Goldfish turn me on. Is that a bad thing?
not unless they find you equally attractive

I was wondering if you can tell me what a dream I was having means: I'm sitting in my old house (the one my folks have just moved out of) and I'm watching a borrowed copy of a really steamy porn movie with Lita (from the WWE) and Laura Sadler (from BBCs Holby City) in it (amongst unidentified others) and I think "this is what I've wanted from porn all these years, I must have a copy". So, I set out to buy a copy. Just as I leave my house, I get set upon by a number of WWE wrestlers (not the superstars - the poxy boring ones), among them is Test, who tries to beat the hell out of me. He succeeds. Anyhow, the fight turns into a free-for-all with numerous other wrestlers and I start to sneak away. I get away from the main fight and start to head towards the video store, but Christian drives up in a Bulldozer with Big Show shotgun and rips the roof off my garage. This makes me really angry and I start to head towards them to give them a kicking. Big Show hops off the Bulldozer and chokeslams me then keeps picking me up and chokeslamming me until I'm unconscious. When I come round, Scott Bakula is being tied back-to-back at the wrists and ankles to Kevin Nash and has to do a cartwheel or something bad will happen. I tell Kevin Nash to sod off and say I'll do it. So I'm tied to back-to-back with Scott Bakula (the guy off of Quantum Leap) and I have to do this cartwheel. I do it, but I fall on top of him. I get the vague sense that I've broken his neck and killed him before I wake up. What does all this mean? - Mzebonga
it means that you have some deep rooted issues about that time your dad made you eat your own vomit... that and the time you got hit in the head with that rock... and you're repressing memories of having mom call you by the wrong name for a few years... of course you've been watching too much wrestling too

is the ball in your court or my court? If its in my court y do i not c it? if its in ur court y dont u play fair n hit it bk?
i'd hit you if you were here

"why are french fries called french fries?"
why is earth called earth?

how do I rid myself of a particularly fucking irritating English Teacher? - Fish
quit the class... switch classes... hand back all your books and just not go except for tests

my tummy hurts... could it be all that glass i ate that was lying by the side of the road, or that cheeseburger from mcD? - SiNiSTaR
the cheeseburger of course

what sort of music are you into? me, i love A Perfect Circle, TOOL and Red Hot Chili Peppers. i also want to have sex with all the band members of all the above mentioned bands. is that ok with you? - SiNiSTaR
i like lots of music... i've been listening to a lot of stuff... smashing pumpkins, tea party, fantomas, manson, pwei, misery loves company etc... i don't mind the bands you mentioned... and i hear tomahawk will be opening for TOOL this tour so go see them both

why does everyone think that calling someone a 'reject' is offensive? i think eets koooollll... - SeeNeeSTar
it's like being called a freak and they expect it to be something bad...

ever thought of getting those lovely ears of your pierced? - SiNiSTaR
no just my eyebrow

why do some pills make your pee turn green? not that it's happened to me, i just wonder... also, where can i get such pills, and is there only one type of colour your pee can turn into? - SiNiSTaR
i had pills that made my pee really yellow for awhile... and i'm sure blood in your piss would change it's color

As you may know, the football World Cup is happening this month. Well, it's called football to everyone else in the world except you dumbass stubborn Yanks. Anyway, I heard somewhere that over your side of the Atlantic, baseball and truck pulling come above 'soccer' as the nations favourite sport? Is this true? And if so, how the hell?! Are you all complete anuses on purpose or were you born like that? If this doesn't apply to you DC then please correct me. BARCLAY
hey i'm NOT a yank... i'm canadian... get it straight... hockey comes before all other sports to me... but it changes from person to person... and i haven't asked everyone so i couldn't tell you... and baseball doesn't count for shit no matter what anyone says

How ticklish are Brittney Spears feet?
you couldn't pay me enough to touch either of those things

Are you being harassed by the Mafia Geese? Mr H
yes but i can't tell you why

why are women strange?
why are all humans strange? it's just the way you all are

Why oh why do people always try and fry me? Is it my smell? My foot? Or is it just that I am currently disquised as a beef patty due to my undercover operation to find out what happens to the beef patties when they escape from the freezer? - Fish
yes it's your smell and that beef thing... it's just gone too far

Why does that weird black shit always collect on the underside of my mouse and my mousepad? - Waxter
you spit when you talk, it's the smoke and the dust

I just force-fed my neighbour's dog my leg. How do I get it out again? - Fish

Why is it that whenever I ask someone the time, they always give me a different answer? - Waxter
they are all lying... they are doing it to record your reaction and write it down in neat little books

My dog is stuck in the dryer...what should I do?-Feckur
begin to sing... that will calm the dog down... then turn the dryer off... then open the door

Why oh why did she swallow the fly?-Berpee
i don't know but perhaps she'll die

Nowadays, everything causes cancer. being alive causes cancer. why can't people a)just embrace the inevitable fact that we are all going to die of cancer one day and b)smoke, drink, eat red meat and be merry? - SiNiSTaR
well some of us want to be around a bit longer then the rest of you so we can taunt you as you die

Have you tasted the new vanilla coke yet? I am determined to-Berpee
no i haven't ... if you buy me one then i will

I had to go to fucken Sunshine camp with the poor retarded people that I work with and there were these awful Christian beasts singing and dancing these wretcehd camp songs and some of them were even religious songs although our company is not religiously affiliated and they were glowing and smiling like they were really truly happy to be doing that and I wanted to cry and die that I was even there and half of the retarded people didn't even know what was going on and they were my only best friends in the world compared to the naziwhitechristians and their one token smiling black guy! How can this be real? Will it ever stop? Is there any known therapy to rehabilitate such people or even just myself after having been exposed to such people in such large numbers? Shouldn't it be considered abuse to make retarded people do that shit?--I know that I feel dirty and ashamed after having been there...I know this isn't a therapy page but, I had to assess my bearings in reality after that trip and I thought that you could offer me some feedback in my bewilderment, being a sock monkey and everything,--- which makes you a certified, universal, clinical expert.Would you hide somewhere in the mountains with me? Let's go deep into beautiful denial---no patriotic sheep, no soccermoms, no cell phones for anybody who isn't a doctor or a drug dealer, no SUVs, nobody running towards you across the meadow because jesuschrist makes the freshest smelling douchebags......we could just eat magic mushrooms and genius-off on the computer and talk like maniacs and then shut up and fuck and sleep for awhile....if you won't actually do this with me, would you at least silmultaneously pretend to do this with me, say 1pm or 1am EST on Wednesday or Friday?I'm sorry to ask so much of you. Will you forgive me? There I go again.......
run far far away from these people and never again get lured into their insanity... and hell yea i'll go off to the mountains with you

YESSSS. Psychic Sex! My brain is tingling. Don't stop!! As for a question: Sock monkeys... have no toes or fingers. How do they count? ( I think I could answer this question though- No need to count, they are the most intelligent beings in all of existance.) Oh, and can you say wee? -Laser-Monkey ( I don't count, but only because I am too lazy for math. weee)
we count in our heads... and weee

I hate everybody. Can they tell? And if so, why do they seem to like me so much? Is it like smoke that goes to non-smokers and cats that go to people who are allergic to them or simply don't like them?
who cares if they can tell... they like you because you hate them... yes it's like that

did you know that RedRum backwards is Murder? woooow!! - SiNiSTaR
yes i do... that is why Red must be watched very carefully

If I stuff a fish down my pants, will I be the coolest guy in Italy?
for awhile ... once the fish begins to rot then no

Is it wrong to use sock-monkeys as sexual slaves? I found out that they can give me great pleasure.
if they agree to be your slave then that's fine...

Who let the dogs out?
damnit i'd bitch slap you if i weren't so lazy

why is ASIO so sucky when its supposed to be l33t?
it's the glue, the couch and that book with the red cover

what do i have to do to actually get one of those green dinasour good questions awards? i really want one!!! a simple step-by-step guide may just do me some good!!
well it all begins with a good question...

what the hell is the problem with some people and their irregularly shaped heads? what the hell is that caused by? were they all dropped when they were babies? - Bearded
yes... and many were thrown

i think i know why you are against children and all pregnant see i was a volunteer in the hospital for a couple of months when i finished college...wanted some experience.... anyways, it was then i realized that all the nurses in the pediatric ward put on happy and smiley faces when they were in the delivery room wih the parents, but once they brought the baby into the nursery to be cleaned and changed, they all had this evil look on their faces..and they chanted in a circle around the dont you see? they are all evil and make these babies an army for satan.... and you knew all thats why you hate all these children that are literally spawn of i right? - Bearded
well no actually but that's another good reason... thank you i'll add it to my list

do you think that being a sentimentalist is a bad thing? -Bearded
it depends on the moment... if you just can't bear to throw out the moldy cheese because you've been together so long then you have issues... you have to let the cheese go

is it just me or are you hitting on me?shit..i'm scared -Bearded?
that all depends on if you're gonna rub my tail or not

why do i hate the beach? -Bearded
it's the people... the sand in your mouth... the squids feeling you up and that damned sunblock that makes you feel like a greased up freak who's all slipperly like an eel...

well, lately my penis has been making funny noises. everytime i touch it, it sounds like boiling water. then today i looked at my penis, and it had turned into a new color. i was wondering, what did you do to my penis? and how am i going to fix it?
i'm not going to tell you and only i can fix it

why do gay people say "penith" instead of "penis" ??
it is only the gay people that you have spoken to... so ask them why

got any pink fluffys? i need it to finish my outfit
i have no pink anythings

dont ya get my lingo arnt you down wit me?the master ryhming bee...1 2 2 2 2 2 3 check out the scratch my man mike he is tight got a fight wit my lady san Down wit the master plan?tight..tiiighhtt...tight..(fades away)Now that my friend is called talent.
your lingo makes you sound like a 3 year old... so stop it

I know a guy with a eleven penises, i wonder what are the possibilitys?..i mean he could have eleven chicks!he could cover his body in pee, easily!what other possibilitys are there?
well he could have a mix of guys and girls... or model underwear... or just flash people

how many penises, do you have?
enough to keep me satisfied

do u hav a lite to lite my cig? ..i need its sweet smoke to warmth my lungs.. please dieing for one...
no get your own lite... this fire is MINE

you gave me a good question award!!thank you!-kkkkkeeeeellllllllyyyyyy
this isn't a question

Is masturbating an official sport? If yes, should it be included in the Olympics?
it isn't yet but someday

I'm a vegetarian and have been since I was seven... do I rock? - Fido Dido
yes you do

how do i go about rigging a golf cart to go faster?
i already told you or someone else... i don't know

why do people alway's assume canada is all about bevers,maple syurp,eh,and mounties? i think it should be about shaved bevers aleast
that and people giving me lots of money for free

why do sock monkys always leave jesus books at my door step with semen on them??
you are the holy monkey spank saint

I am in continues motion, and though you can not see me you can measure my progress. I move in one direction only and nothing can withstand me. One last thing I shall say I am kin to all

Who am I? Do not waste to much time on my question for I shall give you the answer in two days.
so you're writing in something that is about asking me questions yet you want to answer your own question... well i say NO and won't post your answer unless you send in a REAL question

I have this sudden urge to give my right armpit a name. Any suggestions? Vista
Kali, Kendra, Damian or Dustin

Do you think a talking dog exists, like Scooby Doo? Vista
of course they do and they're smarter then scooby doo

Why is it so light? Vista
it's the air... the lack of gravity... that thing on that string

Who wants more chocolate?? Vista
i don't...

When was the last time you had an orgasm?...
a few minutes ago after grocery shopping and seeing my fridge filled with good food

How many goldfish could you fit onto a freight train? It's obviously important to know these things. Mr H.
1854 if just thrown in... 8464 if stacked properly

where is ask SAnimal? i wanted to ask him how life is like as a piece of shit but i can't find it anywhere? - SiNiSTaR
it's under the other page but he sucks so why bother

okay i know you don't follow the world cup but the US is going against Germany soon, and i hope Germany kicks their sorry, yankee, egotistical asses! don't you?

Why are cops called pigs? they are not animals
it's the hats

Where dod Soap Operas get their name?? We don't wash ourseves with them.
damnit i used to actually know this for real... i think it had something to do with soap companies sponsering it or putting these on or something shitty... and it just grew

Wouldn't the world just basically be the same if I killed myself? People care about me and I have a sense of humor and shit but, after all of the therapy and failed antidepressants (which I believe gave me the suicidal tendencies that I lacked before them,--despite chronic misery) I just find existence excruciatingly painful, even when I have a smile on my face. Why shouldn't suicide be considered euthanasia for the hopelessly depressed? I don't think that there is some reality that if I just stick around I'll cheer up when I find out about it. How's that for "insane"? Or maybe you just meant the fun, pretend type of "insanity". I'm probably not going to kill myself because I'm pretty responsible and I have responsibilities but, I really wish that existence would somehow end for me, and wondered how you might respond to all of this mess because you usually make me laugh even when I feel like shit. Would you be willing to kill me if I paid you?
yes but we'd have to have a lot of paperwork done up for me to do it

why is it that people who don't eat have bad breath? i've noticed this a lot, people on diets (or plain bulimics/anorexics) have bad breath... why why o why? - SiNiSTaR
because they are rotting away... if they puke then the acids from their stomaches will rot their teeth and leave that puke acid in their throats... if they are anorexic then they are not eating and their whole body begins to deterioate... people should just learn to eat properly and exercise instead of damaging themselves like morons

If i had a tail, how long would it be and what colour? what about the thickness? would you rub it for me? - SiNiSTaR
it would be a long beautiful fluffy tail and i'd rub it if you rubbed mine

what do your farts smell like?
depends on what i've eaten

When countries fall into debt, why don't they just go to the nearest mint and just print off a hell load of cash? Mystic Murray
cuz the paper money is kinda like a placeholder for real money/gold somewhere or something like that ... then again i could just be making it up

Everytime I sit down, I keep having this wierd daydream. I can sit and talk for say 5 minutes, but then a lapse into a drooling, fuzzy state. While I am vegetating, i keep seeing an extra large enema applicator (possibly from the late 1800's) floating in front of my eyes and winking at me. What in the name of Ghandi's Jockstrap is going on? Is this my subliminal psyche telling me that I am a stony faced, crimson pansy shirt lifting queer? Mystic Murray
a what?!? anyways no it's telling you it's time for an enema... probably a cold water one

today at school, we just had a really hard chemistry exam, and we all came out of the exam hall feeling really miserable and pissed off. So me and my mate dave decided to cheer ourselves up by beating seven shades of shit out of our "friend" Daps. We walked all the way back to our study area and ambushed the shiny foreheaded bastard. But the beating never materialised. He swore at us in a really slimy way and then started walking home. me and dave chased him across some grass, intending to trip him up then implode his skull. But he ran away. So i went back inside, picked up my backpack, and started walking across the grass after him. luckily for me, he stopped down this little passage way so he could have a crafty cigarette before going home. I walked up slowly and quietly behind him and kicked him in the ass real hard. he thought he was being raped so he raised his fist to hit me, exposing the Benson and Hedge's smouldering away beneath his fingers. Just as he rose his fist, his schoolteacher drove past and beeped his horn, seeing Daps smoking. Daps is too young to smoke and now he has been busted. I ask you, now that Dap's parents are going to go mental on him, and ground him and he will get suspended from school, should me and dave break his legs before or after he goes to see the principal? Mystic Murray

why do feet smell like cheese? (excluding ppl who where shoes/socks made out of)
i don't smell peoples feet so i can't verfiy they do smell like cheese or why

if drinking and driving is illegal why do pubs have carparks?
well it's ok to drive there... and not everyone goes to a pub to get drunk... oh wait... yes they do

why is snot green?
mine isn't... it's kinda gray

What do you do when your bellybutton, armpit and asshole itch all at the same time?
use my two hands and my tail to itch them

Will she or won't she? - Fido Dido
who cares

is there REALLY going to be a super orgy porno party this weekend?-Feckur
well i've been invited to a few... so yes

I wish to know whether I am truly crazy. My sister FrogBladder informed me that you said she was truly crazy because she observed the monkey head for half an hour. I enjoy countless hours of asphalt-watching and I collect half jellybeans. ( My secret to expanding my collection: If I encounter a whole jellybean, I cut it in half. Then I have two!!)FartMonkey
your jellybean idea is very interesting... but not yet truly crazy

Did you ever download Tiny Elvis? FartMonkey
no i didn't

I just purchased some fish but I was immediately posessed by something evil and swallowed them and I can feel them swimming around in my stomach. Do you know how to either get them out safely or kill them? FartMonkey
the only way is to shit them out... unless you try the highly experimental 'fishing' procedure

How many times have you engaged in passionate and prolonged sexual intercourse with Sanimal?

If person a is ugly, and person b is fat, and person c is stupid, and person d is crazy, and person e is posessed by a demon, what is person f? FartMonkey
plotting the others death

MMmmy bRAIn fELL oFf whATTTT shOUDld I dO??/ FARTMOnkeyyyyyyyy
well pick it up damnit i'm not buying you a new one again

Would you know an effective way of clearing a wood chipper of remnants of a deceased person? FartMonkey
hmmm... hot water... some stuff that gets rid of blood... the rest i can't tell you

Why do school buses have locks on the back door when you can just turn the handle up to open it? But then again, why steal a school bus in the first place? The shocks are terrible. --Cirrus
but they are fun to bounce around in and hit trash cans with and the seats are fun for fucking and the horn is fun and the steering wheel is so big and the wheels even bigger

Do you think that, in Jack and Jill, Jack breaking his "crown" could mean giving Jill head and then could Jill "tumbling after" be about orgasm? Aren't all nursery rhymes about pseudo sexual things? Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall and then fell off... Could he have become gay? Hence falling of the heterosexual "norm" wall. And "four-and-twenty black birds baked in a pie" speaks for itself. "Georgie Porgie pudding and pie kissed the girls and made them cry"... a nursery rhyme about rape. Old King Cole was a merry old soul (promiscuity). As for the meaning of Baa Baa Black Sheep... well, live in New Zealand or Wales for a bit, you'll understand. - Mzebonga
um i think you've put a lot of thought into this but lets face it... computers are the only true sexual language out there and the rest is just wishful thinking

How can you slam the door in the face of a child? - Mzebonga
you have no proof

they're building a house across the street and the other day there was a by-law enforcer guy there in his van with the lights on.. is it wrong that i took pictures? -MissRoger's Sweater
no it isn't

How can i conquer my slurpee withdrawl? -Slur-peed Kid
and exactly why are you depriving yourself of slurpee goodness?

Does your chair squeak or is it just your ass? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's a bit of both

Where the heck do they find the guests that go on jerry springer? -Miss Roger's Sweater
some pit of stupidity where they should put chemicals in the water to sterilize them

SAnimal is such a turd.Here is my plan: you and I kidnap him. We tie him up dangling upside down and shoot arrows at his face. Then we drop him into a pit of razor blades, rat traps, and scorpions for an hour. We dunk him in a vat of lemon juice and then roll him in salt. Then we take him out on the street naked. (We will have to do this by my house where it is very very hot) We duct tape him facedown naked to the searing hot asphalt and he will get burned and run over until he dies. I have everything except the salt ready. If you would care to join me, could I trouble you to bring the salt? FartMonkey
i'd love to join you and i will bring as much salt as you'd like

I have always dreamed of you knowing and liking me. I am sending my money to you fairly gradually as not to arouse suspicion and get you into trouble. I mailed the first two payments today, $500 each. Is this precaution unnecessary or should I keep it up?FartMonkey
please keep it up and i'm sure we'll become great friends... in fact i'll send you a box filled with stuff to show you how much i like you every time i get the 500 in the mail

If you recieve a question that is total nonsense jibberish but it has a question mark at the end, will you answer it or no?
no i delete it

I am growing a tail! Is this good? Is it caused by prolonged contact with this site or are my hormones just weird?
a bit of both but tails are fun so no worries

I have fallen down a total of 186 times today. I fall down when I am sitting. I fall down when I am lying on the floor! What's wrong with me? FartMonkey
nothing unless you stop falling down

My great great great uncle hides in shopping carts and flings feces at peopl, but not if he senses that the people intend to purchase cheese. If he does, he will follow behind their cart and howl like a wolf. Then he will follow them home and camp outside their house for about a week. Every day he will put a blank envelope in their mailbox , containing a piece of paper saying 'Cows go moo. Bow to the cheese.' Then he sets fire to their lawn and selects a different city to repeat this in. Should I put him in a home? FartMonkey
yes but not any with bushes... and that was some interesting insanity thank you

Did you hear that?
twice and i'm about to go out and yell at them

Tell me if you like my poem: Here I sit in smelly vapor; Someone stole the toilet paper. No one hears my desperate howls; Then I start to eye the towels.
is it really yours? and i'll say i like it to shut you up

Do you live your life by the old maxim "If at first you don't succeed, panic and go on a murderous rampage"?
no i skip the panic stage... and i throw things after the murderous rampage

Can ' mustard' be used in an insulting fashion? I do, but I want to know if it is correct? I do this because A I hate mustard and B I don't swear but I use substitute swear words; mustard sounds like the similar word starting with ba.
if you can't say bastard then you've got issues... but you can use mustard in any way you'd like

Do you recommend suicide or just obeying and being a slave? For when the cats take over, I mean? FartMonkey
be a slave

Is it a boy or a girl? FartMonkey

Help me silence Carrot Top? FartMonkey
of course he pisses me off

Do you need or want a bodyguard? If so, can I come straight to you with all my posessions of value? To present them to you, of course?
yes... please do so

"My meeting is at seven-thirty." From this sentence, did you automatically assume this was either 7:30 AM or 7:30 PM? If so which one? FartMonkey
i didn't assume either

Is that normal? FartMonkey
normal is different to everyone

Can you tell what type of specific torture is being applied to a person by listening to his screams? If so please answer these two secondary questions: 1. What is going on here: 'ohh noooonopleaseNONOOOOOOOOOOOHHHNOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHhhhhhhhh' 2. Can you supply an example of the scream that results from being trapped in a room with nonstop Barbara Streisand songs?
1. sex 2. there is no scream just the quiet sounds of one ripping their own jugular open

Are you a monkey's uncle? FartMonkey
no as none of my siblings have bred

This is not actually a question. I just wanted to inform you that I encountered the following not made up magazine headline the other day: 'ADOPTION AGENCY SELLS SHAVED APES AS HUMAN BABIES' There was a picture of a shaved baby monkey, but it was so obvious that it was a monkey it was just stupid. Thanks for your time. FartMonkey
you suck for not making this a question but anyone that stupid deserves what they get

You know the little picture of computers in the bottom corner of the screen that means you're online? Is that the government watching me? FartMonkey
yes... as well as your fridge magnets, carpet and hair brushes

I was walking thru the zoo yesterday and the animals were all making the wrong noises. Turtles were roaring and lions were chirping. Do I have a serious mental problem? I mean, more so than usual? FartMonkey
no time had been altered in the zoo for a bit .. it will go back to normal soon

How long does it take to bludgeon a horse to death with the business end of a Sparrow? Mr H.
i don't know and i don't think you should try

what do you think happens after you die? go to hell? vanish? be forgotten forever?
i think you go back to being whatever it was you were before this whole 'being human' thing came along... but i'm a sock monkey and sock monkeys live forever

there is alot of people dying in my town lately. mosty teenagers involved in car accidents. do you think this happens for a reason? did the all mighty god want them to die?
it's probably because they are driving badly... and no i don't think that has anything to do with anything

How horny are you right now?
not at all at the moment

if at first you don't succeed, fuck the world and smoke some weed???-marissa
sure but fuck the world should be a constant... well more like fuck the humans

i just finished exams, and now i need to do something kinda outrageous and totally insane without getting kicked outa the house... besides tattoos, piercings etc do you have any insane suggestions?-- marissa
tissue paper clothing... sell everything in your room or glue it all to the walls... change your name... start a band and jam all day and night... totally clean and rearrange everything in the house...

what the hell is it with people with HUGE breasts implants why don't they realize that 79ZZ tits aren't attractive?
they are stupid and the stupider they are the bigger the breasts need to be so they feel they are somehow making up for their incredible stupidity... anyone who is attracted to this is as stupid as the girls doing it

Do you accept, instead of 5 bucks, 5 lire for the snail mail? that's italian currency i think.- SiNiSTaR
if lire are equal to about 5 bucks canadian so we can cover any postage etc then sure

How can anyone get a whole potato and a jar of grape jelly stuck up their asshole? - SiNiSTaR
it takes a lot of practise and training

I know you love tails and the rubbing of them a lot, but how about breasts? what size breasts do you like? - SiNiSTaR
i like whatever happens to grow... breasts are breasts... they all count... even if they just have one that's fine i'm not greedy and know of plenty other places to put my tail and hands

why do some people eat their scabs? there was a girl at my school a few years back who did it... - SiNiSTaR
i'm not sure... perhaps they taste good? i mean i lick my own blood so why not a scab? unless there's puss

why are my nipples erect right now? - SiNiSTaR
i don't know but it's distracting...

Are you insane?
usually but maybe i'm just wanting to be insane but wouldn't that make me insane my plastic dog says no

Would you like a piece of taffy?
no thanks i don't like it

If you get a chain of sockmonkeys, can you order them to form a circle by each fucking eachother up the ass, forming a chain?
you can try but if you don't have the right group of sock monkeys then things won't go over very well

If a dog, a whale, a pig, a duck, and a rhino each hump 2 cats, then the cats hump eachother, what happens?
you'd have really sore and tired cats

Whats the best way to acheive an orgasm?
that depends on who you are and what turns you on... everyone is different... haven't you noticed that yet?

there are pictures here and if that isn't good enough then too bad for you i'm not your bitch to just order around

These damn voices inside my head keep telling me to eat a live goldfish. But I hate fish and I'm digusted with even the thought of touching one. But those voices keep bothering me all damn day! And it's getting relly annoying. So, should I just suck it up and eat the fish or should I keep on trying to ignore the voices?
try to get the voices onto something new... try negotiating with them... if they still won't shut up then jab sticks into your ears until they are quiet

Dammit Janet, I care! Will she, or won't she? - Fido Dido
she won't and you're a fool for thinking she would

Do you share my fear of Australians named Bruce? FartMonkey
not really but those americans named Lance are to be feared

Yesterday I caught my cat killing mice. Not chasing them though, shooting them with a pistol. What worries me is that my home has never contained a pistol. Where did he get it? Does this signify that the reign of the cats has begun? FartMonkey
you're best not to ask too many questions... just make sure that kitty litter is cleaned daily

Where are my shoes? FartMonkey
near the phone... you took them off while talking

Were you aware that there is actually a country song entitled 'You're the Reason our Kids are so Ugly'?
haha no but that's a good title

Are you also outraged that shopping carts are so badly abused and mistreated? FartMonkey
well sometimes but since they like to bite me i'm not all for freeing them or anything

When the cats take over, will you rule among them or be a slave? Or do you have some type of escape planned? FartMonkey
i will be a willing slave... i will be working with the top levels of the cat rulers and there is no escape

Before the cats take over, do they have to kill off other animal species? If not, will there be special punishments for dogs and mice? FartMonkey
dogs have already signed on as cat security teams and the mice are still being negotiated with... the humans are the ones that may have to be killed off

Would it be possible for you to arrange my slave master cat to be named George Washington? FartMonkey
i will see what i can do

Please list all major government figures and celebrities that are really robots. To put that into a question so it's legal, what major government figures and celebrities are secretly robots? FartMonkey
there are so many but the ones you should be worried about are madonna, yoko ono, steven tyler, all members of the tea party, marilyn manson, and no political people are robots... they have no logic, do things horribly wrong and lie/cheat/kill their way to the top.. robots don't do that sorta shit

If you could grab one person by their ears and push their face into the open blades of a desk fan set on 'ultra high', who would it be? Besides Sanimal? FartMonkey
the owner of FOX television networks for allowing that pure and utter BULLSHIT to be put on tv

What are your views on mazes, wordfinds, crosswords, and connect the dots? FartMonkey
they are fun but not for weeks at a time

It is only noon today and I have fallen down 41 times, while experiencing a lovely hangover, and I accidentally ingested rat poison mistaking it for cereal. Then in a particularly nasty fall I cracked my skull on the table and landed in a puddle of battery acid. Then the neighbor's dog broke in, tore off my legs, and left. Then the house caught fire and I had to drag myself out with my arms. Should I try for 1:00 or just kill myself now? FartMonkey
i say see what else happens and be sure to tape the rest for me to watch

I was secretly on my computer till 2:00 AM looking around the domain of insanity, which caused me to sleep until 11:00. Is there a way that I could sneak out as if I had been up for hours to avoid being in trouble for getting up 4 hours later then everyone else? FartMonkey
use the window or dig a tunnel out... and put on jogging pants to claim you were out jogging

I'm gonna be camping for ten days...I guess you won't miss me...or will a part of you miss me just a little? McDiablo
i went camping this weekend... did anyone miss me?

Bathing suit...check; Toothbrush...check; Sleeping bag...check. Have I forgotten anything? McDiablo
toilet paper... alcohol (if you're legal)... socks

I will be turning 19 on June 24th....will you send me a card? McDiablo
no i won't be but that was yesterday so happy bday... mine is the 7th of july are YOU gonna send ME one? if you send me 5 bucks i'll send you a birthday envelope of insanity

Do you think someone will give me birthday beats? Should I cover my bottom on Monday to avoid them?? McDiablo
yes you should... i for one would love to slap your ass

In order to be listed as a cool viewer, must I prove myself insane, or just post an average of 20,000 times a day? Quality questions, not crap of course. FartMonkey
quality questions are allowed and after i've seen your name for a month or so and actually think to update the list then sure

did you ever meet one of those people who ask you questions all the time?Also the questions are pretty funny, do you pay them? if you do know them..
i have chatted with some online but never met any in person... no i don't pay anyone to do anything

why am i here?what do i ask?the presure is too hard...G+FFESGSrs dFUCK YOU...
try not to think too hard

Why did my "Permanent" marker run out. it didn't even make any complaints before it left, but god it looked funny running without legs. i miss it so much. Why, oh why?
you were putting the cap on wrong

Is it possible to remove a human kneecap without the owner noticing? Mr H
yes but it's very tricky

do you know that this asking questions thingy is exactly the same as the one that skippy the yellow duck has? well he was around before you so dont you think you should try to be a little more original and not copy off of other people?
i think you're talking jibberish and the whole 'questions and answers' thing kinda came along with humans starting to talk to each other

do you ever jerk off???? i do and i like to do it on peoples faces when there sleeping and they wake up and i shove my fat cock in there mouth and shoot bloody cum everywhere
when someone else won't do it for me then i'm forced to do it myself... and why is your cum bloody

if Air Canada is serving caviar to its first class passengers on a wednesday afternoon in mid july, what is the pilot's name?
caviar is sick and should be avoided... do you realize what they do to get it? and the pilots name is nancy

The next time I see a strange red light in a park when it is dark outside, what should I do? I'm scared...-Feckur
pretend to be a garden gnome and everything will be ok

What is that strange light in the sky?-Feckur
it better not be an alien or i'll be pissed that it didn't take me away with it

The birds around here swear like truckdrivers. They're all fed up with the freemasons and the rotary club and the old ladies' war memorial committee and they've taken to shitting, in concentrated air raids, on as many Buicks as possible. How can I help them? I believe in their cause but, they only seem to trust me when I'm shrooming. Is the insurrectionist activity as heavy where you live? We've got a lot of crows here,--a lot of crows....
there were 3 crows that were following me around last month but don't seem to be around anymore... so i say you eat lots of veggies and shit up a storm with the birds

Do you like eggplant? Do you think one would fit up your ass? How about down Celine Dion's throat? I love eggplant.
no i don't... perhaps... and only to choke the bitch into silence

How are you supposed to turn this thing off once you've got it jammed halfway up your ass?
if you don't have a remote for it then you're stupid and should have thought of that before you shoved it up your ass

When did you first realize that you are a sock monkey and when did you first admit it to others?
well i have always known... i didn't have to tell anyone as they would look at me and say 'oh! a sock monkey! can i touch your tail?'

If you have 17 nipples and you're shopping in London for a nice, tailor-made, double-breasted coat how many holes should you require?
i say go naked... suits suck

Why have i not been here in like months? -Fork Flinger(or at least i think thats my currant handle) Q2) who cares what my handle is? i sure dont.
your handle is used to track you down and beat you with printed spam mail... and damn that makes the ass smart... mine turned bright red

whi is europe a continent?
i would guess it has something with it being a seperate techtonic plate then that surrounding it

why the hell were spiked exercise balls invented??
to punish the weak

You do know I'm not the Reverend Lionel Stomach, right? - Mzebonga PS:- I know the forms are broken. That's why I'm moving my domain.
i know everything there is to know and if you think i'm wrong i'm just testing you...

What happened to your hamster?- phil
well it kinda got left in the sunroom and fried but i felt really bad about it

Okay, I'm just about ready to go talk to those birds. Are you coming with me? 'Cause I just got a bunch of free love and there's enough for you, man. (I use "man" figuratively, your actual sock-monkey gender is not at issue here.) I'm not shittin' you, --this is absolutely pure consciousness. I've got my pentatonic xylophone and I'm heading out to avenge the land of lawnmowers, false teeth and douche-sayers. Are you ready?
damn straight i'm ready... and i've even brought my purple-rayed sofa on wheels

What is a donkey like when it is drunk?
well it's drunk and it shouldn't be so it's confused

who is cooler billy corgan or trent reznor? -beatrix
it all depends on which one would rub my tail the coolest

why do people easily sell out everything? -furry kitten
they think there is no other way... they get dazzled by empty money... they are stupid... they are sold out by everyone else around them... they didn't sell out but everyone thinks they did... it's a whole tangled mess of stupidity so all you can do is make sure you don't fall prey to it

my grandma asked me to cover her with butter so i did and she sucked me off. Has anything like this ever happened to you?
no it hasn't but then again my grandma is on a low cholesterol diet and can't have butter

i have been reading old questions and realized that there are a lot of questions about midgets and asains and grandmas. They all seem to be linked to zambonis. Have you noticed this? -pherman
yes but i didn't want to say anything for fear of having my ass whipped with a hollow reed

where is the f'ucking gate?
over there dumbass

where is the free cheese
i ate it... you are not worthy of cheese

I've seen some really bad questions on this site.......someone asked if you were funky fresh and how to get out of their mom's bush......and you answered these questions.Why? -Milfred
i answer almost all these questions... it is a twisted perversion perhaps... i keep answering and people keep asking... one day it will get so bad we will all have to suppress memories of this site completely

why do cows eat grass?
they like the color

do you want to be my friend?
no but you can rub my tail

Do you think I'm just a cheap reproduction of Elvis Presley? - Mzebonga
of course.. you know i do...

Have you ever proven the fact that farts blow up when you light them? Its been said a lot of times but I still don't believe it.
i have seen people attempt this and a few do it... people have a lot of free time and why they do this for their friends is beyond me

Why the hell should I ask you a question?
you just can't find the answers yourself... you need help from me

Why did Red's one fish eat the other fish? freakypez
it was the classic tale of fish meets fish, fish falls in love with fish, fish and fish are in love, fish finds new fish that is more fun, fish cheats on fish, fish finds fish cheating on fish with other fish, fish gets upset and eats other fish, fish then eats fish, all that's left is fish

my friend McDiablo is out of town for the next week or so.. what insane things should i do while they are gone? - Miss Roger's Sweater
put on a macaroni person show and tape it for later viewing... highlight the word 'and' in all books in your house... put together a report on how much you miss mcdiablo with drawings and poems, send me money

there's a band named "new amsterdams".. so who were the old amsterdams? - Miss Roger's Sweater
some people who had canes with no will to succeed

Is it wrong to go on slurpee run unaccompanied? -Slur-peed Kid
no it's not... unless you're a parrot

My duct tape monkey punk's tail fell off.. should i run around the streets in hysteria or should i just tape it back on? - Miss Roger's Sweater
tape it back on and then run around

Where do you stand on the whole wearing socks with sandals controversy? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i say who the hell cares as long as your stupid feet have something on them... people who think about stuff like that need more things to keep them busy like sending me fan mail, sending me money or building monuments in my honor

do you like cheesecake?

What is the perfect dinner?
lots of stuff that tastes good without meat in it and it's all free

i DID wet myself with excitement. What are you going to do to me? - SiNiSTaR
nothing.. i'm just gonna watch

Could you please add to your list of people who suck, "people who sit on the bus and play every single song on their fucking mobile phones over and over again until you want to force feed them the phone and kick them in the head until it falls off!"? Those people REALLY piss me off. - Fish
damn that sounds very annoying... i'll add that to the when it goes online

do you also believe that the saying "Good morning" is an oxymoron (i.e. a contradiction)? - Fish
i say that the saying is annoying and i don't say that to anyone

Do you think it would be a good idea to allow Chihuahuas administer the lethal injection? Mr H
it's not a good idea to let those things out of soundproof rooms at all so i don't have to hear them yap

do you like sabby?you know sabby hes that german wrestler who sing constantly and spends all day on the computer?God...he pisses me off...
no idea what you're yapping on about but then again i don't think you do either

PINK BUNNIES ARE WARM AND CUDDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SO GO HUG A PINK BUNNY!!!!!!! k...pissface?
shut up you're not even mildly amusing

Do you have a cock? I don't my mother refuses to buy one. She says all it will do is rape the chickens.
i have a tail and you should put it in your mouth so i don't have to hear you speak

Have you or anyone you know been beaten like a pinata?when where and how?
no i haven't that i'm aware of... i've heard of some beatings but never witnessed one

Do you dance with catterpillars? You fucking homo prick ill slit you throat!!!
no but one time while camping they fell from the trees onto my head

Do you like heavy metal,Metallica or Slayer or Megadeth or Iron Maiden or Iced Earth?
yes some of it depending on your classification of what heavy metal is... metallica before the sellout bullshit... megadeth was ok for awhile... bruce bothers me so no... and no

Do people douche with turkey basters? -Butter Lumpkins
probably so think of that next thanksgiving when you go to your parents for turkey dinner

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