Do you like cheese and if so what is your favorite cheese? - Natasha (The girl who loves you!)
i like old cheddar cheese...

Does Lizzie love Steph?If yes, why?
how about this... no one cares

Is my mate Rebecca insane or is it just me?Or am I insane? - Kirsti
yes she is and yes you are

I wanna be 'Little Miss Popular'.How do I go aobut it?
why do you wanna be THAT? get off this site now... we don't want you cheery popular folks around here

Did I have a good night on Saturday and do you still love me?
yes and if you rub my tail sure

it ate my damn fucking questions again. i sent several, none of which are there. may i have a green head to make up for it, please, O mighty DC, second only to the Cats? - Fido Dido
how are you doing this??? are you having 'visions' again? do your ears ring? have the angels come to poke your ass with cold metal things

Is Mountain Dew really made from mountain dew? Vista
of course

Can you keep a secret? Vista
absolutely... just send it on in to me

You know what they say about sock monkeys with big tails....don't you? McDiablo
no... come over and tell me... and you can rub my big tail while you tell me

Should I do ab crunches like Britney Spears? McDiablo
don't do anything like her... ignore her... tail rubbing counts as exercise... why aren't you here yet?

Please, DC, I, and the rest of the world, must know....what is 1 + 1?? McDiablo
i knew this... shit... now i forget... hmmmmmmmmmm

1. yes unless the universe played a cruel joke on them like penguins and made the wings useless 2. damn straight

1. sure why not 2. depends on the gravity of your planet and the weight of your penis

only if the hooker isn't deaf

What the fuck did you want to go camping for? Was it to get away from your folks so you can smoke grass in peace? Isn't it bad for a Sock Monkey to get wet? With all that water you'd absorb I can imagine that your weight multiplies about three times. So, why go camping? Why not go to the bahamas on the cat's expense account? - Mzebonga
camping rocks... i don't live with my folks so i don't need to camp for that... yes but i didn't get wet just cold... yea wet sock monkeys puff up in water... camping was in ottawa with a bunch of insane people... jcp, ver, johnny poptart, red, julie, OJ and kim (who can make food for ANYONE inlcuding vegetarian sock monkeys they're THAT good at it) and lots of other people... poptart will hopefully be contributing to this site soon and become a full member... so maybe you'll see pics from the weekend on the site sometime... and that fucking idiot sanimal is supposed to start 'contributing' again soon... hope its not too much WORK for him

w00t! last fucking day of fucking skool today! ooooooh pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease can we burn skool down? we dont need no education. teacher - leave those kids alone. yeah, you tell 'em, Syd - Fido Dido
haha... school was years ago for me...

i wrote a cool guitar line and then realized it was from a Simon and Garfunkle song.. what am i going to do with myself? -Guitarded
slap yourself with small wooden sticks until i tell you to stop

Is 19 old? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no it's not

Is it ok if i get a big big slurpee on thursday cuz it's my birthday? - Slur-peed Kid
of course... and i'll drink one in your honor

I think my monkey is off it's rocker, it's been in the liquor cabinet again.. what should i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater
spank it... and spank it hard... that's right... spank that fucking monkey till it bleeds

Do you have a capo? - Guitarded
i don't know what that is

What is more gay for a guy... dance or gymnastics? - Duch
i don't think 'gay' applies to either... as for more dangerous... the gymnastics

Is someone doing voodoo on me? - Duch
yes... it's me... how does your back feel?

Have you ever had a dream that you didnt like?-Berpee
yes i have... one time i turned into a borg and another time the waves kept coming at me and started to drown me... that sucked

Will i go to the concert?!-Berpee
yes but it will suck

why do people think they're greater than newbies simply because they were 'there first' and their questions were 'more original'? don't they sound like a bunch of old farts? - SiNiSTaR the funky munky sunky lunky....
yea?! i say we all meet in the parking lot behind that store and FIGHT .. i wanna see BLOOD

oh by the way.... do you know dear abby? - SiNiSTaR
no i don't... is she cute?

ever tried a 'Sperm Facial'? what is that, anyway. - sInIstAr/SiNiSTaR
no i haven't actually... i would imagine it means that your face is covered with sperm... i'm sure there is someone willing to give you one if you ask nicely enough

what would happen to me if i didn't have my insane domain to rely on..? - SiNiSTaR
well at first you'd feel ok, maybe even a bit liberated... but then the twitching would begin... your muscles will eventualy seize up while you're seeing sock monkeys dance around you chanting 'things that suck' out at you in a howler-monkey sorta yell... your ears would begin to bleed and your hair would all fall out... yes... even down there... your left leg will snap off due to the muscle tension and your teeth will shatter, choking you... and before you die you'll try to imagine my smiling sock monkey face smiling at you but you'll be too weak and just die alone... alone and sane like the rest of the mindless idiots out there...

hey! you are not working on your site at all, you were all away in ottawa camping! why did you lie? why? why? *cries uncontrollably* hint - needs a lollipop to shut up. - SiNiSTaR
camping is more important then YOU... so you eat your damned lollipop and shut the hell up... damnit are you crying again?!? ok fine... here's another lolipop and some candies...

Do you know where my green comb is? I seem to have misplaced it. Vista
it's in the pocket of your black jeans

Sheesh! I keep misplacing things...where are my pants? Vista
i kinda pissed on them by accident so i buried them in your yard

Do you like my little cup? Brodie
yes... could i borrow it? i seem to have buried vistas pants...

Is my boyfriend EVER gonna call me?And if he is WHEN?! - Kirsti
hell no... cuz you're all 'why don't you call me?' and when he asks you what's wrong you'll say 'nothing' even though you're pissed so stop it and maybe he'll call...

Do you have a "software sucks" section on this page? No? Why not? Would be nice... with coloured pictures and... so coooool!
no i don't... but i should have a computers suck one that covers it all....

why all the femalejokes are with blondes?
people have no imagination

Why is Buffy so "in" with the vampires?
it's the lipstick

why is my question "pathetic" for you no matter what?
let's face it... that's the best you can get... silly human

I have a beautifoul girlfriend,,,Then why do I want to be with every other girl I see,no matter how ugly,but not with my girlfriend?
you're stupid

Are you really insane, or you're faking? And if you're faking, then your site is a fraud!
i have a stamp on my hand that says INSANE so i'm just going by what the stamp says... and YOU'RE a fraud... you and your fancy suit... you're not fooling ANYONE

My life sucks! Can you help? don't answer "No"! You know, there are a lot of really crazy ppl out there with knives, guns, axes... you might run into one of them one day and then I won't be there to save you if you say "No" now!!!
well how about this... life sucks so there is nothing wrong to help you with... so how about you buy me some stuff or just send me money and then that way you know for sure that your exsistance has meant something to someone out there

this isn't a question but yea i'm sexy and you had a chance to buy my sexy brother but obviously didn't... if anyone does wanna adopt a sock monkey then fill out a form and let me know

It's a long way to fall...isn't it?-Berpee
well yes actually...

Are u a man, women or sock monkey?
i'm all sock monkey baby... wanna touch my tail?

After coming home from work among the humans, I think I would have been in tears instead of all grateful and amused to have found this site after typing "people suck" into the search engine. At the moment you, you insane sock monkey, are the biggest genius that I have encountered in a long time. So, here's my dillemma; my best friend, who is not stupid or trashy or anything, and who has always expressed hilarious contempt for children, is now pregnant. I feel compelled to be all supportive about it but, my real opinion is that it's just the next horrifying step in her unconscious compulsion to please her "normal" ass-brain parents who never understood her and would be much better people if they just got a divorce and admitted that they are both gay. (The first horror was that she got married to a very sweet idiot that needs to admit that he is totally as gay as a pink leather thong...with sequins.) With complete trust in your professional, medical opinion, is she going insane or am I just STAYING insane?
I say escape... run away from them all and get yourself sterilized so the same stupidity won't happen to you.. you're staying insane and you've got to keep it that way.

Why do burgers with legs fly???
their legs get tired

im supposed to be in school right you think i should go?..its 10:00 right now...
nah... i'm sure you won't miss anything important anyways

Shapeing his buttock silky smooth was one of his fill in the blank! your always forcing us to its are turn
i got distracted by the silky smooth buttock... can't think beyond that....

should i get my tounge pierced?some people say i should just nail my tounge to a would be easier...what should i do?-kkkkkkkeeeeeeelllllllllyyyyyyyffffbbbbbbbb
well if you really want your tongue pierced then go ahead... just follow the care instructions they give you

I Have an Awsome nickname I Have An Awsome NicKNaMe!!!DO YOU?..nooooo..HANHSHSFGGAFGHA!...i have an awsome cool nikaname..a nikaname..NIck NAMe...awsomey..
my nickname is freak... you can't get much cooler then that

i spam myself you think thats wrong-missing school
no it's not... if it makes you feel loved then you go right ahead

almighty DC... answer this for me... ANSWER!!!do you buy market brand name clothing?
perhaps? i'm not aware of the labels of any of my clothes... I do not shop at stores like the gap or such shit like that though...

your head is really it really that big?or ya just sock stuffing?
yea it's that big... so is my tail... wanna rub my tail?

your ears are gay..get new ears..please?-NOW!
hey i was born that way... and if you're one of those people who judge others by the size of their ears then you suck...

do you wear lipstick cus its amazing how red your lips are..if so, what shade?
no i have naturally red lips..

i condem you to death...january,21, out!-lovetotouch
this isn't a question but do you think you could hurry it up a bit??

set up some games dc...plz..maybe you could make a game about who can rub dc's tail the hardest?..not bad idea..get to it-NOW!
well i'd love to make a few games, in fact i have a few great ideas for some but then i'd need someone who can actually MAKE the games because i don't know that type of programming

i think ill go to school....but i Dont know!HELP!-kkkkkkeeeellllllyyyfffbbbb
meh... just make sure you show up enough to pass

i lick silky butts,i live in a plastic box, muffy is my cat, i am really fat, i always wear blue and dont know if i should go to school..who am i?
you are you and stop bothering me about school... i left years ago and don't wanna think about it anymore

what does DC stand for..i know! dike caller..right?u call dikes..right?i knew it your a sex operator....tsk tsk-NOW!
i am a sex operator...

am i boring you?-fag
of course... only shiny things can truly amuse me

im sorry for sending all the whaT?were?WHO?WHA?WERE..?wha...?WHAT?..what? ya pissed off didnt i?hehehe....
nah i just delete it if i'm not in the mood

why does life after death seem more interesting
because life is just annoying and makes no sense... stupid humans wrecking everything

Who's hoarding all the good weed?
it's me... and you'll never get it back!!! NEVER

How much urine will I need to baste the beheaded and gutted carcass of Bill Gates?
A few gallons at least... just keep collecting it until you KNOW you have more then enough

Why did you pee on my pants? Vista
they asked me to... how could i say no? they asked me to shit in the pockets too....

Would you try the slurpee flavour, Frog Water? Or do you think there are, er, un named ingredients in that stuff? Vista
no i wouldn't actually unless they called a mix of orange and rootbeer frog water

Do you want a stalker? Vista
i think i might already have one but another would be nice... are you volunteering?

When plotting world domination, couldn't you just use one of those dry-erase marker boards until you get it right or, is it really necessary to meticulously encode your blueprints in sock monkey dung all over the stalls of public restrooms?
i say do both to make sure you do it right

why exactly did the chicken cross the road? we've been over this before, but new evidence suggests that there is an important factor we have overlooked. this is the influence of gravity on jupiter. you may ask what has this got to do with poultry crossing transportation routes, and to be frank, jim, or even mandy, i'm not quite sure. if we inverse the rabbit, is it possible to derive chickens from soup? this is all getting a bit too much. - Fido Dido
i blame the cold soup, poor moon rotation and the possible exsistance of life on europa

Is it everyone's job to just piss me off? Man, you people must be working overtime. - Fido Dido
yes it is... and yes we are...

should i kill myself? or just wait for it to happen to me? - Fido Dido
i say you watch 'requiem for a dream' first and then reconsider the whole thing...

Do you usually skip the "no question" questions ppl "ask"??
yes i do... if it's crap or not even close to a question then yes i delete it

Technical stuff! Why is it that when the extended Euclidean algorithm returns a negative private key for the RSA encryption, the decryption goes all wrong (could say "insane")??? (Omuletzu)
it's the emergance of 'zero' as a contributing factor to the rotation of earth yet at the same time we are in constant movement hurtling through space waiting for an asteroid or something to take us out

There was another non question that I "asked", but I didn't get an answer (maybe I dreamed, or the darn thing ate it, or you skipped it...) It goes kind of like this: "This is not a question, so it means I deserve the Monkey Butt Award for Stupidity in the Line of Asking Questions... Please give me the damn prize!" (Omuletzu)
it isn't a question so it got deleted... read the damn rules!!!

What is my chance of winning the lottery?
one in 2 milolion... or soemthing like that... if you send me 20 bucks i'll send you a box filled with insane stuff... isn't that way more fun???

Do you accept insane stuff from your fans (stuff to put on this site)? (Omuletzu)
we will soon once we get working...

DC, you're my role model! I want to be like you! What must I do??? (Note: I don't have money to send you.) (Omuletzu)
you must become a sock monkey... give me all your money (or most of it) and some cookies

Will you be mad if I ask too many stupd questions? Oh, wait! I can't ask smart questions! Sorry! Will you be mad if I ask too many pathetic questions? (Omuletzu)
mad no... ignore you and put a hex on you & your family yes

do you spell check all your answers?-HoloNg
no i don't... and i probably should cuz i know my spelling isn't the best

Do you like any questions or do you just give awards to yourself you concieded ass?
i give myself awards every day... and so far i haven't felt inclined to hand out many awards

do you eat dwarfs?
no i don't

If I can't find a real question to ask you, it means that I don't have any problems, or I'm just a boring loser? (Omuletzu)
it means that you haven't reached your full level of insanity...

did you ever have a girlfriend?-bastard
sometimes yes but mostly i just sleep around with lots of sock monkeys

i made this my personal message sorry, will you forgive me?
no... come here for a spanking and bring money

must this place be black and you know devil?if so, whats he like?does he like me?how does he feel bout god?
yes cuz those are colors jcp picked out a long time ago... and in order for me to believe in a devil i have to believe in a god... which i don't... and if i did i would believe they are the same thing

im growing taller ever year and i feel good bout that!do you?
i stopped growing awhile ago and i'm pretty pissed off about it

those chick from that website were you think so to?
that doesn't narrow it down much as to who you're talking about but i'll agree with you

are you a genie?..could you predict my future?-BasTArd
no and yes

My last pathetic inquiry for tonight, I think (I don't really think). Why does the Good Question Award look like a green monster? (If it's not a monster, what is it?) (Omuletzu)
i'm not sure what it is... it's one of the few graphics on this site that we didn't make ourselves

why does my boyfriend get to sleep early when I visit him?
you bore him

why is osama still alive?
my guess is that he hasn't died yet

why do girls"think" different?:)
everyone 'thinks' different unless they don't think at all... then they just need to learn to think for themselves

why death row inmates get to choose their execution?
do they? why shouldn't they be allowed?

Why do clowns follow me around throwing moldy cheese?
they like you... i wish i had clowns following me around throwing moldy cheese...

Why does the monkey head in the logo's closer eye spin faster than the more distant one? Also, am I truly insane because I have been watching an electronic monkey head and taking notes concerning its behavior?
yes you are truly insane for doing that... you get points for that too

If all animals have separate heavens, such as frogs and flies, won't the frogs have nothing to eat and die and the flies will multiply forever and ever until there is no more room left and they all suffocate?
well you see i don't believe in 'heavens'... you die and thats it and if anything then your energy goes onto something else... all i know is that when i'm dead i'll be free of this nightmare called life

Why has it always been taught that Europe is a separate continent from Asia, whereas if you look on a globe, it will be plain to any uneducated fool that they are obviously connected? This leads to another question, namely, are teachers really aliens who cannot see, but sense things with a sensitive radar system, similar to the way bats operate?
they are connected but are seperate techtonic plates... humans like to break things into little categories and boundries but it's all a part of the same planet...

Why have no questions been awarded the Stinky Monkey Butt Answer Award yet? Or is my computer just really slow again, in which case I apologize for being stupid?
i blame you, society, the speed of your computer and the fisher price little people collection staring at me

Is Britney Spears directly descended from a primitive species of watermelon?
don't insult watermelons like that...

Does light really travel faster than sound, or is it just because your eyes are up front and your ears are further back?
yes it does actually... that is why you'll see lightning flicker before you hear the thunder...

are you a porno star?...cus i swear i saw u in monster balls...-BAsTaRd
yes i am... you can see my porn here...

you know what you should do dc..set a date when you will update..then we wont have to come here all the time complaining for you to update!just tell us when to every monday and wednesday..or tuesday, friday and sunday...whatever you want!please do that, its a good idea... here to help, BaStARd
well lately it's been pretty much every other day... but if you can figure out a way for me to get paid to just work on this website then i'll be glad to answer them every day for you... i'm not good with setting exact days cuz i get busy with real work... perhaps in the future

What the names of the sockmonkeys in that new pic?
well herbert is in there but i'm not exactly sure of the others names right now... amelia is in there somewhere

Do you know any humans?
i know many humans...

you should set up a page for stinky monkey butt questions...cus i personally think they are the best..please?how bout it?
perhaps some day i will... but then people will purposely ask stupid questions to get on that page and that sucks

everone hates me and thinks i speak to low and im increadable wierd...what should i do?
you should eat more lemons and re-read that book about the dunes

Why is my sister's room so messy? McDiablo
she is lazy and likes to hide tiny shoes all over

if i was a butterfly i thank you lord for giving me wings, if i was a worm i thank you lord that i could squrm..but i just thank u god for making me ME!!...isnt that a beautiful brain-washing song?
no it isn't and i dislike it strongly

I was hearing two different recordings play at the same time on the phone and I heard what both of them said. What the heck is up with that? McDiablo
enjoy the random insanity of the moment... there's nothing else to do

Why are indie record store clerks so rude? Don't they realize that they are just big geeks like the rest of us who are at least basically enlightended enough to shop there and make it possible for them to not be wearing blue smocks that say "Wal-Mart" on them?
yes but that is part of the whole 'indie' thing at the same time... so be bitchy to them and then everything will be cool

should i go to this party tonight and fuck alot of chicks and smoke some weed or stay home and beat off??? what shoul i do?? WiCkEd
go to the party with condoms... and then come home and beat off

where did we come from how the hell did we end up on this earth what made us AND WHO MADE IT ! this is pissing me off. tell me u know who made us. PLEZZZZZZZS or i shall have to smoke some weed and burn this memory out of my brain. WicKeD
we all come from this little thing that happened once but i can't tell you more... there is no WHO as you know it which makes it difficult to explain to you humans... anyways... carry on with your plan to burn it from memory

What kind of music you like? (Omuletzu)
i like many types of music... most of it is heavier music though... or strange music...

where can i buy pants like anastacia wears
who? pants? pants aren't fun

Since you answered yes to this question: "Do you accept insane stuff from your fans (stuff to put on this site)?", I'll send you a link to an insane pic. You don't have to answer this (or curse me). Just write down the link of that pic (if you like it) and put it on your site, credit to Omuletzu. (The link is: )
looks like a doodle i would have done years ago... yea we'll have that sorta stuff online soon and i'll tell jcp to add it to

are you all monkes
no just me and the ones in the pictures

How much do you think when you answer these questions? McDiablo
depends on the question... most don't require much thought

What is it that makes McDonald's ketchup taste so darn good? McDiablo
they put sugar in it and they mix more sugar in with the salt on the fries

I always ask three questions in a row tops. Should I break out of this routine and ask four in a row...or maybe three and a half...? McDiablo
i say go with what your comfortable with... i mean if you've produced 3 quality questions and taint it with a bad fourth, then it would be better to stick with the pattern of 3 and ignore the fourth bad...

Do sock monkeys get camel toe?
i don't know what that is but i don't like feet

I was on audiogalaxy and I came across an interesting song by a girl named "Khia" the song is called "My Neck My Back" and it was the "explicit" version of the recording. In the song she demands "My neck, my back... lick my pussy and my crack." Is she a god damned ghetto hoochie?... why the fuck would you want to lick a crack? and would sock monkeys be willing to "lick the crack"?
some sock monkeys have to be paid to lick the crack while others gladly do it for free...

When I finally snap and strangle the next humorless "hippyuppie" that I have to explain a really simple joke to, can I hide out in your sock rawer from the heat?
yes you can

why cant i find the questions im looking for....they were on page 22 but now i cant find em where have all the questions gone????????? there were ones about midgets and santa on page 23-adam the great
they're all still here... just more on each page so there are fewer pages

have you ever read any chuck palahniuk? its good shit. he wrote fight club.
no i haven't but i'd like to read fight club and a few others of his... how about you send me the books?

how many times can a guy orgasm?
in a day? week? month? a lot i guess if he's healthy

Could you have sex with someone if they were wearing a wal*mart uniform?
yes i could... so how about it? you, me, a walmart uniform and a price gun...

Why would anyone go to a party called "Toxic Party?" (Omuletzu)
it sounds fun...

Where is the "insane products" list? (Omuletzu)
we don't have one yet... that pill that makes chicks/guys cum taste like apples is pretty insane

it has to be done and it has to be done now. Tell me how to do it? should i take to the sky? should i cry or should i die? -watermelon-
you should die slowly like the rest of the humans... and send me money and i'll send you more detailed instructions

Do you have a kleenex? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no i do not... i have a towel you could use...

i only had 2 slurpees this week, is that bad? -Slur-peed Kid
yes... i'm outraged

what am i going to do with my guitar? it's been being bad! - Guitarded
remove one of it's strings and whip it with it... then put the string back

is this funny? it's from a b-day card from my mom.. "Happy Birthday to a daughter who's loved for her kindeess, beauty and intelligence... oh and weirdness -- dont forget the weirdnes." - Miss Roger's Sweater
that rocks... i'd be proud of it

at what age will i start to feel old? - Miss Roger's Sweater
none if you do it right

Do you love my fish?/ his name is walace he is quite cute. although he lies upside down all day. damnit do you?
no i'm not a fish person... i hate them... they know why

What, in your opinion of course, is by far the worst verbal insult?
being told i'm 'just like everyone else'

Are you able to whistle with that mouth of yours?-Berpee
yes but it's a bit fuzzy sounding

Orange juice, or apple juice? Or maybe....neither?-Berpee
i have lemonaide right now

Should we restuff our overmasturbating sock monkies with cotton stuffing or bananas? I tried both, but he just got kinda smelly... LastInSite
cotton stuffing.. it's just cleaner

How long must one punch a guy in the dick until he finally passes out?
it's more a matter of how HARD you must punch a guy in the dick...

If one month is black history month, are the other 11 white history months?
when is human history month where they figure out that shit isn't going too well?

I know that dog years are different from human years. Do sock monkey years differ also? -FrogBladder
our years are longer then yours... much longer... and better

DC- I recently became drunk and roamed into a valley ruled by giant sock monkeys. A- do you know of them and B- should I confront them or are they hostile? I am hiding in a cave near their village. Please reply before I run short of food.
A- yes of course i know them b- they are very hostile until you stroke the leaders tail... approach him slowly

You have warned that cats will soon take over. 1-Is escape possible? 2-Can you supply me with a specific date? 3-Would it be possible to form an alliance?
1- no 2- no that's classified 3- no humans are useless for anything other then slaves to them

Do you know of an idiotproof remedy for a nasty vampire bite? I am losing blood fast and you were the first one to come to my mind FROgbLadderr vb m nm
i use books... not only do they soak up blood well, they distract you with lovely stories until you die

I find that I am developing deep feelings for you, but I am reluctant to tell you for fear you will reject me. -MPHG
i say you try to buy my love with money and gifts... how could i say no to a playstation 2 and grand theft auto game?

What is a dildo
it's a plastic penis-shaped object

Do you, or for that matter any sock monkey, need to eat? You are filled with cotton stuffing, correct? If you have no organs, how can you shit into peoples pockets?
yes we do... i eat socks every month... the rest of the time i'm just chewing it and spitting it out or just licking the flavor off of chips

Tell us, what is your birthday, favorite movie, color, and cheese preference?
7/11/77, requiem for a dream (for the moment), black if black is considered a color, old old cheddar cheese

I have recently purchased a moose. The best suggestion for a name I have gotten so far is Iggy. Have you got any ideas? It would honor me if I could name it after you.
call him Frankie... yea you can name it after me...

Do you wear a diaper?
not usually...

When is your birthday
i just answered this... 7/11/77

Are you less likely to answer a question containing numerous misspellings and no question mark at the end? Or are you equal to all? Just curious.
well i put less thought into those that i have to figure out what the hell they're trying to say... other then that i am pretty equal as long as it makes sense and is a question

What are your summarized feelings towards the following: Britney Spears, Richard Simmons, Harry Potter (in general), SAnimal, Teletubbies, Star Wars, The Simpsons? Thanks! FrogBladder
hate, dislike, it's getting kids to read so its good, hate, hate, like, like

Your hand in marriage would make my life complete. Will you marry me?
hell no... i demand some dinners, expensive gifts and coffee before i'll even consider it

Do you mind if I stalk you? - Natasha (The girl who loves you!)
sure go ahead just don't stab me while i'm in the shower... i hate it when that happens... did you know your name is ah satan backwards???

Why do men dye their hair?Are they gay?(I think they are)Are you gay?Oh and do you stil luv me?SAY YES! - Kirsti ( the girl who loves you more than anyone else!)
i don't see why guys can't dye their hair... chicks can so guys can... and how do i KNOW you love me more? i don't see you bringing me any coffee...

My baby all gone! You make it all gone! CHERRIES IN A JAR!!! MMM MMM!! why don't I have a baby all gone doll? I want one.... :**( - Rebecca
save up your pennies and buy one

Why do guys watch football?All there is are men running about in shorts and chase a ball. - Kirsti ( the girl who loves you loads!)
not ALL guys watch football but those who do i can't explain...

Why do things that are ''free'' in shops have a barrcode on them?
so they can track you down and steal your food

Why is the world spinning? why aren't I? this is the worst trip I ever had! What is this I am lying on? Adam
thats what it does... and you are spinning if you're on the planet... and you're lying on that broken bottle again

I love you, DC!!! Will you marry me?? I'll kill Natasha if you will......Adam
no marriage until i see some coffee and you fill out the proper paperwork

I think I am living in the land of the fairies.How can I find out if this is true - Rebecca (the idiot)
find someone who looks like they live there and ask them...

DC...I'm right behind you...I can see you....I'm watching you...mwha ha ha ha!!! Oh sorry, that's my dad, Where?? I CAN'T SEE YOU!!! - Kirsti
damnit i told you already... you have to keep your eyes open to see things...

I'm depressed. Any good cures? Can I rub your tail? - Adam
none that work forever and of course

Do you take it up your ass? - Cooper
not usually

I'm a sad and lonely sad and lonely and blue.....what comes next?????
dig yourself a hole and wait for it to rain

Hi it's me , just dropped in to say hi. My visits are getting less and less, sorry about that. Hows JCP going ,well I hope.The cats are doing well. I'm okay.The site looks great. What can I do to stop my siamese boy cat Jengo from marking his territory inside? Well catch you in another time. Sally
hi sally it's been awhile! hmmm i don't know about the marking thing... ask your vet! i'm sure i'll bump into you on icq again somtime

Will you help me kill Celine Dion? I get the neck, you figure out what to do with the rest of it, okay?

Do you know who controls the empire of pop-up ads? I suspect either the government or clowns.
clowns and government are pretty much the same thing

Do you consider yourself superior to SAnimal?
we all are

Who do you blame for the fact that nothing at all rhymes with the words 'purple' and 'month'?
i blame napolean and the north pole

Do tell, how old are you?
i'm currently 24 in human years

If I am having internet sex and I get cum all over the keyboard, will I get electrocuted?
no but it's not good for the keyboard.. you can get plastic covers for your keyboard...

Will I ever get a job or will I be a bum for the rest of my life? McDiablo
sure you'll get jobs... you just won't be able to keep them for long... that's ok... just as long as you're happy

I got a cheque from the local college...what the heck is that all about? It's only 20 dollars...McDiablo
send the money to me and i'll make sure everything is ok

why dont you give out good question awards anymore? could you have another award "the best question asked today"? just wondering, i know youre very busy, updating the site an' all. and let me tell you, i cannae wait! will there be beer? - Fido Dido
well those who get it either make me laugh or really think... and jcp is working on and i'm redoing the downloads... it will be a bit longer though cuz of the whole 'have to have a real job' thing... and of course.. you're always allowed to drink beer here...

why do MOST of the people make the wrong decision when they have only 2 choices...MAJORITY of bad one..almost none of the corect one? cucurigoo
that is the downside of 'free will'... people have the chance to choose wrong

Where the fuck are ya?
i'm here answering damn questions

almighty DC... answer this for me... do sock monkeys have sex with barney? cause he says so to me every night because (except for friday and saturday because he is jewish) and if so, why Don't you post pics of him with sock monkeys?!?!?! and plz stop those midgets out of my window for me plz, every night they enter and sweep my floor with that funny liquid
no we hate barney and hope his head explodes spraying all the children around him with purple dino bits

Are you afraid of clowns? FrogBladder
only the ones that try to create monkey balloon shapes

I feel that the next day should start at 1:00 AM, not 12:00. It does not make sense to me. Are you with me at all or am I just crazy? FrogBladder
i agree... let's start living that way and the others will follow like the sheep they are

Can you help me lose 26 pounds and quit smoking before sundown?
chop off your head...

If one asks, oh, 7,000 questions, and they are all gems but you are getting sick of answering to this person, will you not post most of them?
well i wouldn't be able to answer that many damn questions in one day... there are 81 for me to answer today... and i'm not feeling well... so don't post that many questions...

I am currently aware that you are a sock monkey and therefore are not one gender or the other. If you could choose to be one which would you be?
well i think i would switch each day...

If you just now woke up and realized you did not really make this site, but it was only a dream, would you try to make it as it was in the dream?
yes i would... but i would remove sanimal from the site and make jcp do most of the shitty updates

You walk by a bookshelf. The light from the window is illuminating the spine of a single book. Do you go over and open this book even if you have important things to do?
of course... its just one of those things you have to do

Ohhhh dc you are so SEXXYY please can I rub your tail and suck it and getit soaked and slide it into my red hot vagina, pulling itin and out and in and out in front of everyone, until my vagina begins to foam and I am about to pass out and I orgasm and ooOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhplease?I am rubbing my sore red crotch all over the screen hoping to arouse you and I am getting it all sticky ohhhhhhh please please DC
yes you may

DC- I have just finished building a subspaceship/timemachine. Will you take a trip with me?
of course... just give me a few hours with the person who wrote the question before yours and then we'll go

Please consider this= I am in the process of packaging all my possesions of value and money, about to ship it off to you, and I recieve word that you have died. What should I do then? Killing myself would not work because I could not bring along my money. I want to be prepared. Also how many stamps do I need to put on? One package contains my moose. FrogBladder
after that you are to out... find more stuff and send it to me... and more money... put as many stamps as needed

DC, FrogBladder here, I thought I should send you a bulletin. I was cornered by a group of werewolves the other night, and they let me decide between letting them bite me or send you to them for reasons described as 'the monkey knows why.' I let them bite me of course, I just thoght I should tell you in case you run into any trouble concerning them. Will I be rewarded? Bah, I need no reward...protecting you is my best reward...damn werewolves...
damnit... those damn werewolves... you do a few crazy things and you're pegged for life... i'll have to go into hiding again... thank you for warning me

If you were trapped in a dark alley by a gang, and you could either pick up the lump of moldy cheese lying on the ground, the 3legged toad, or the clump of greasy hair to use as a weapon, which would you use? FrogBladder
i would use the greasy hair... and then beat them senseless with my tail

gonads and strife, gonads and strife... what's that shite supposed to mean?? - SiNiSTaR
i can't tell you.. if i do then my books will disappear and i like my books

i am a trend whore, is that a bad thing? - SiNiSTaR
mostly yes... unless the trend is to send me money and cater to my demands

(stauf's coming back to haunt you, DC. you can't escape)feeling......looooonelyyyyy...?- SiNiSTaR
damnit stauf... just take the dolls and fuck off

why wont grampa just die?? - SiNiSTaR the sinister
he's hanging on... you'll find out why soon

do you have any pictures of food
yes i do... here is one

I'm a teenager. Do you hate me?
not completely... unless you're not 'legal' yet... in that case you can only watch instead of participate

Why do you build me up? Buttercup baby just to knock me down, you messed me around. And worst of all you never call baby when you say you will, but I love you still!! I need you, I need you, more than anyone darling, you something something else!! Whyyyy? - some dude who wrote that song, there I told you that I quoted.
bravo for you but this isn't a place for you to submit lyrics

If my cousin is my mother's monkey and my monkey is my uncle's mother did my cousin come from my mother's monkey after all? I always suspected something primal between them.
yes... you'll find pictures hidden under the porch in a box

Have you heard of The Digerati, Third Culture and Reality Club? If so, do you have a Doomsday scenario, that you might propose for our entertainment, in which you incorporate these character's and their agenda?
no no and no... so i can't come up with anything about that...

What was the best psychadelic experience that you've ever had?
on acid eating ginger cookies while writing/drawing

Would you give us a Doomsday scenario, involving at least seven of the ten following variables; stationwagon, volcano, Dick Cheney, tin foil, leather, potatoes, talcum powder, cats, Kenny Rogers or melon baller?
i'm not well enough to come up with something that complex... i say the humans just wipe themselves out with a virus or something dumb... damn melon ballers.. they have been the downfall of many civilizations

Aside from the ceremonious eating of your enemies and general Icons of Evil such as Celine Dion and Bill Gates, are you otherwise a vegetarian?
yes i am... i wouldn't turn down any human flesh though

Have you ever tripped on morning glory seeds?
no i haven't ... are you sending me some?

Do you have a good, herbal recipe for clone repellent? I want to be sure to be environmentally friendly in my struggle against the onslaught of the summer plagues from the laboratories.
no i don't actually but there are many websites online that would have that information... congrats on trying to find a non-chemical repellant...

did you check out the website i sended you?
i probably did... i have so far checked out the sites people have sent links for but i'm going to stop that if people stop asking questions and just keep sending in links

umm...i noticed sanimal seems to hate you and you guys know each other in real life and you guys are to old to be i do you see each other in real life? this all a hoax to make us send you questions and entartain us? what up with this dc?whats goin on?-kkkeelllyyy
we see each other when one of us is hanging out with jcp and the other drops by or something... and life is a cruel hoax played on you by your parents

Should i eat the ice cream plain, with raspberries, or just forget about the whole damn thing? Help me! -Berpee
with raspberries

Why is "Monkey" spelled with an "ey" instead of an "ee"?
i'm not sure... ask the monkeys... or the monkies

What does it mean when when a person dreams about sock monkeys?
it means they are having wonderful dreams

Have you or your insanedomain cohorts published anything outside of cyberspace? I would gladly throw away copious amounts of money, (like twenty-five bucks or something) to have an over-sized, paperback collection of this nonsense, complete with the sock-monkey porno and other artwork, in my library. You should be hoin' your sweet fuzzy ass down at Barnes & Noble, right next to Church of The Subgenius and Betty Bowers' new handbook.
well jcp has written things for various websites... but as for published insanity/humor no not yet... we had considered it but we don't have that kinda money to throw away on that nor the time to put a pdf version together... perhaps in the future unless you'd like to send us the copious amounts of money right now

Under infrared light, monkey feces was found to be smeared all over the apartment. Clearly foul play was involved. What can you tell us, DC, to help our investigation? And remember, help us out on this one, and maybe I won't tell your parole officer that I saw you hanging out with P.Diddy.
i say check the ceiling for more evidence...

Are you a big slut, or is that just ordinary, "sock-monkey" behavior?
a little bit of both

Am I only known for asking questions? I've never been so insulted! :P McDiablo
you're known for your quick wit, sparkling personality and delightful disposition

Why did she leave the egg in the bowl? McDiablo
that was the one that came out of the chickens ass

Do you think almond extract smell good, or is it only my sister who thinks that? McDiablo
i haven't smelt that... i like the smell of vanilla though

I'm getting a blue acoustic guitar, that's not as rad as green but still rad, right? - Guitarded
of course...

I found a website that said that my white glasses without lenses were actually popular back in 1965.. they're called Glassless Glasses.. does this make me retro? - Miss Roger's Sweater
you are soooo retro...

i had a slurpee today to boost my slurpee-ness.. good stuff, eh? -Slur-peed Kid
good job we're very proud of you

Do you think Tony Hawk is cool? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes i do actually

Why do dogs sniff each other's arse?-lickme
try it and you'll see/smell why

So there i was, driving down the road with Jose in one hand and VeRa in the other when all of a friends in the back seat having sex start screaming oh baby oh baby oh! DC, sAnimal! Cum on baby! I was all like what the fuck are you guys doing and right then a deer jumps out in front of my car and says STOP!!! So i do! And when i do it comes over and asks for a ride i say were are you headed it says BoBtoWn I was like ok hop in. I turned on the radio and drove and heard there were killer deer on the road i was driving on because it was mating season! A man and his son were found under a tree with antlers stuck in there asses! I tried to play it cool! But all of a sudden.... What Happened ???? Where am i???? HELP ME!
come to the backseat and i'll distract you from asking all those questions...

what does gwar dress like off stage? -seth
well i think they dress normally but then again i don't know for sure

Do you like Unsane?
only on the weekends with syrup

Is it okay that I have taken a liking to rap music? Vista
no it's not.. it's not ok at all

Why is the Mickey Mouse pen out of ink? Should I go back to Disneyland and buy another one? Vista
yes you should... in fact demand they replace it for having it run out of ink and ruining your day

I miss your purple you? Vista
every day

Do you think my friend is buying a guitar solely based on looks? Vista
yes... but sometimes that's ok

Hello.....Did people ever call u a feak, and if so what did u say back to them???
i get called a freak every day... and i accept it because its the truth

What's the score?
it was 2-1 and it sucked so just shut up

Do you have special powers?
of course i do but i can't tell you what they are... that would ruin the surprise

So, who's your new "friend"? (And don't lie, we can tell...)
its my tail... would you like to touch it and get friendly?

When using Celine Dion as an pesticide, how long should I wait before my pets and I re-enter the home after her music has been turned off? What are some of the common side-effects to note in case of accidental exposure?
don't return... it's been tainted forever... find a new home... if you accidently are exposed then only bread can make you clean again...

When did you first realize how bad things really are?
around the age of 15 or 16...

May I have a stinky monkey butt award?
no but thanks for asking so nicely

why do i like sucking dick so much?
some people do...

why did stabbing westward break up??
i blame the phase of the moon and the amount of green they had been wearing lately

why did bill clinton try the exact same thing as John f kennedy but didnt get killed jfk and marilyn monroe got killed, bill and monica r still walking around ?????????????????????
cuz the world sucks ... what i'd like to know is why the hell we haven't put people on the moon to build spaceships

If you could choose how and where to die, how and where would you die?
i would choose to die in my sleep ... without any pain

Why do people run from me?
its the knife and the crazy glint in your eye

Why is Sanimal such a turd? FrogBladder
he was born that way... he should be terminated

Do you prefer buttons or knobs? FrogBladder

Which kind of commercial would you rather never see again, car or lawyer? FrogBladder
i would prefer to never have to see a maxi-pad or tampon commercial... or a beer one... but if i had to choose between just the car or lawyer commercials then i'd choose the car commercials to go

Will the burly housekeeping woman not go away any time this year lest I give her a handsome tip?
thats right.. i say you pay her to come clean my place

Do you have any hairs on your chinny chin chin?
not that i'm aware of but i shave daily just in case... well ok every other day

For the reals? - bobspenis
for the fakes

why does sAnimal suck so many elephant balls -bobspenis
he's good at it...

Is it just me or do people stare at me and then when i look the whisper something in their friends ear? Or am i hallucinating? -bobpenis
you are quite correct... it's the 'no pants' phase you're in

do the deer really want to die? -bobspenis
no not really

what kind of toilet paper do you use? -bobspenis
soft stuff cuz using sandpaper was just too painful

what will you do if i show you my tits? -bobspenis
well i'll look... other then that nothing

What the hell do you do when you cross a cat and A Dog ? Bobspenis
pet them... give them food...

why is shit brown ? Bobpenis
well probably because it's a mix of all colors of stuff you've eaten... i don't know

what is a dork ? Bobspenis
sanimal is a dork... and i've seen other dorks in the streets.. you just KNOW when you see a dork

so, about this snailmail thing,this applies to everyone in the world, or just US and Canada? -marissa
anywhere in the world...

If I give you five dollars and write you a letter, will you use the money to buy me a slurpee? McDiablo
well i'll send you back a letter and read your letter and buy myself a slurpee... but i'd drink it in your honor

Have these dismal moods become contagious? McDiablo
yes they have... its too bad

My baby toe is more insane than your whole fucking body. What do you say to that?
i say bring over your toe and we'll have an insane-off and then later i can take it out for dinner

Have you had, are you now having or do you secretly desire to have sex with Sanimal?
well there was that one time when i was drunk... no that was someone else... so my answer is NO

Were you molested as a child? The whole sock monkey porn thing seems to imply this.
no i wasn't... and hey... i'm a sock monkey and when i have sex i like to take pictures of it... how about you go harrass those sick fucks that do that sorta shit with kids or dogs?

Have you ever sought professional, psychological help? What is your general opinion of the worth of such assistance?
yes i have actually and all it did was spawn stories for this website... for some it offers real help... but not for a sock monkey such as myself

Where are pictures of you from reality? Do you not post them because you're ugly? I don't care if you're ugly. I would fuck you because you're brilliant.
there are tons of pictures... as for the other members of theinsanedomain... i don't know why they don't have their pics online... jcp is considering putting some online but hasn't.... and you're welcome to come over and fuck me anytime as long as you bring coffee

Will nothing keep you from that furiously obsessive fecal smearing?
well... enough sugar and caffeine and maybe i'll move onto something else

Have you "cheered up " at all since you first realized how bad things really are, or have you cultivated grief into a sub-cultural persona such as "Goth" or "Gangsta" ?
i don't like to put myself into stupid little categories like that... i'm me and i've accepted that life sucks... so big deal and when i'm done with you humans then i'll take off in my spaceship and find some other species to annoy

Have you slept with David Bowie?
no but i wouldn't turn that sort of chance down..

Do you get along with your parents?
yes i do... quite well

our lady peace uset to be they suck, why do they have to turn into a sucky band? sucks i wanna cry
i don't know.. i never cared for them... how about you ask them

im buying olp's new gravity ..yup then im gonna listen to it and cry of the pain of my ears from the sucking of the cd...yup...yup..then ill go out on the street and scream the lyrics I miss THe wAy You TasTe!!! smashing the cd into lil tiny bits..cus i miss old olp..they were so beautiful..they were...Do you think so to?-FuckHeRgeNtLy
i don't care about stupid our lady peace ... i'm going to delete any further questions about them...

im not goning to school no more,Do you think this is right?-missingSchool
i don't really think of it as right or wrong...

i pooed in my pants, wanna taste?-MasSiveHead
only if there is corn in it...

the clown guy down the street just asked me to go in his pants...should i go?-confused&lost
well that all depends... do you like the clown? do you like his makeup?

black fuzzy thing behind my couch....what do you think it is?-afraidTotoucH
it's your long lost jubejube... eat it... it's had time to age and get good

i wanna good question award!!!!! I WANNA GOOD QUESTION AWARD!!!!! NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- could i please have a good question award?
ummmmm..... no.. you see you can't just ask for one.. you have to ask a good question... what is the point of it if i just hand it out to people without good questions or at least a good excuse to give them one

almighty DC... answer this for me... i love you..can i eat your ass? cus its such a fine ass...the way it wiggles and jiggles the beautiful redness of bright and tantilizing..I wANt It !! I wANT It!!! could i please taste that fine juicy ass?ooohhh...please!
no you can't cuz you're way too excited about it... you might accidently do some damage in your excitement

ALMIGHTY DC... ANSWER ThIs For Me... I ate a monkey once...wasnt a sock monkey...but a monkey How do you feel bout that?
i don't feel anything about it... what did it taste like

w00t! it's good to see the questions being answered again! have you seen Mzebonga about at all? - Fido Dido
yes he's been around... and i answer them every two to three days... i'd do it more but i've been sick and i have a lot of work to do...

From this list, who's the most evil?: 1) Bill Gates 2) Celine Dion 3) Leonardo Di Caprio 4) Me 5) You 6) SAnimal 7) My hosting company 8) The arse babies 9) Satan
your hosting company... go with ours... it rocks... maybe they'll give me money for referring someone

Did you know that last question was mine? - Mzebonga
no i didn't but now i do.... and fido dido was asking about you too...

Y'know, the one about who was most evil? Can you put my name in big red letters next to that "Who's the most evil" question? - Mzebonga
well noramally i would but today i'm lazy... maybe next time... the second most evil out of that group is Celine Dion... of course

......whats the best color in the crayola box?

I is asking questions to get out of doing my English assignments . . . Why the fuck do we have to write stupid analytical essays?? It's not as though we are ever going to read a book in later life and think "Oh, the author juxtaposed the use of darkness cleverly with the arbiter's inherent evil . . . ". It's fucking stupid!! I don't want to read a book I really like, and then have to study its "Techniques" in such great detail that I come to hate it! It's not fucking fair!! Why are the English teachers so stupid?!?!? Mine is a stupid crack-whore who is completely dead to the world. - Fish
they do it to distract you and to get you used to producing mindless crap so that its easier to shove you into a cubicle and do what you're told...

"Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we shall die of cholesterol poisoning". This is a proverb that I made up. Like it? - Fish
yes it's lovely

Is it normal that my friends and i smack/swear at eachother constantly? For fun?-Berpee
yes it is... that is what jcp and i do

i enjoy hangin wit dorks..they boost my confindence but im afraid im slowly turning into one, what do i do?
well either accept that you are a dork or try to find some new friends that aren't ... but you know you'll come back.. dorks make good friends

answer this.. .. .. . . . . . . .... .. ... .... . . .. . .... . .. .. .. .. . . ... . . . . .. . .. .. ... .. . .. .. . .. .. ... ... . . . .. . . . . . . ...?(this is blind reading) . .
. ... . . ..... . . . . . . ...... .. . . . . . .

im bored, should i kill myself?
send money to me... find stuff that is cool and send it to me... then you can do whatever you want

Shaping his buttock silky smooth was one of his _______? i asked you this question before but you didnt answer!ANSWER!
one of his... most favorite things to do... now get some better questions

preps suck!u agree?
mostly yes... but all people suck

riding a truck riding a big ol truck!pedal to the metal! hope i dont run out of luck!oooooo..ridin a truck wit my High heels ON!HIS HIGH HEEL ON!!!!!.did u ever ride a truck with your high heels on?
well i ride my truck all the time but i have lost my high heels so i haven't had a chance yet

Do you like to eat monkeys?i do...
i don't eat meat... so i don't eat monkeys

if i eat a pool ball how long do you think it would take for me to shit it out - butthead
i'm not sure... try it and time it... then let me know

how or were can i get my dick sucked, i don't care by who i just want it sucked, email me back at <email removed>
yea... as if it's that easy... i'm sure there are a million people out there who are just waiting to suck your damn dick... and in case you're too stupid to figure it out.. i'm being sarcastic...

OH MY FREAKIN' GOD! what is that thing on your head? it looks like a small cow cocoon... - Fido Dido
what? ahhh get it off get it off!!! ahhhhhhhh

where did the coffee page go? there was a coffee page which linked to all your coffee related articles... cept it didnt, the links didnt work. now i can only find the coffee mugs. am i not looking hard enough for your other coffee related items, or do they not exist any more? - Fido Dido
that page wasn't ever part of the site for real... that was you sneaking around and finding shit we hadn't hooked up yet... so that page was deleted cuz we didn't feel like doing it...

i live in the UK, is it still possible for you to send me insane snail mail, if i use the paypal thingy? - Fido Dido
yes it is... when we say 5 bucks... its any currency.... anyone in the world can use the paypal thing and anyone can send in 5 bucks of legit currencey from anywhere in the world in the mail...

do you like cricket? the sport, not the animal, or the magazine so, i went to a cricket match today and i saw my ex and my heart almost stopped , do you think i still like him??-marissa
why wouldn't you like him? and i've never watched it for real... just on tv... i'm not a fan of it... i like hockey

I quit smoking a week ago. Was that really such a good idea?
yes it was and congrats

Why do such creepy, socially backwards people have so much money?
i'm not sure... i'm creepy and socially backwards and i have no money... what the hell?

Sometimes when people are talking I listen just enough to molify them while I imagine shooting them in the head and looting their obscene hoards of wealth for the poor? This has nothing to do with religion or bloodlust. Am I bonkers?
no this is normal... once you actually do it then it's not considered 'normal' anymore

Celine Dion, mildew, Jesus, curling iron; how about trying just a basic disaster scenario, if not a full-scale Doomsday scenario, involving three out of these four variables? Please? I would appreciate your help for my mathematics experiment. Thank You.
mathematics experiment??? how about you find another poor sucker to be a part of your government sponsored spy tactics... how about i pay celine to come smash in your head with a curling iron while she sings about jesus saving your sorry ass soul? she's wrong about that but hey... at least i don't have to listen to her... and once she kills you you won't have to either...

who do you think will win in world bets on south
um sure... i don't follow soccer

why do i like to masturbate other women?
i'm not sure... but if they enjoy it then there is nothing wrong

when did the amazon recommedation section go up? i must of missed it... - Fido Dido
it went up a few weeks ago... we were just going to have a list of stuff we liked but decided that we'd put links to the real items to buy too... for those that haven't seen this list... here it is

What is the plural of mongoose ? is it mongooses or mongeese or mongi ?
hey... HEY don't be saying that sorta thing around here... last time we couldn't get rid of them for a month

Can you see well with those eyes of yours? Or should i make you an appointment with the optomitrist?-Berpee
i can see wonderfuly! i do need a pair of those glasses with one red and one blue lens though...

Should I lightly sautee my left nostril and sell it to a 3-foot tall moose on steroids? - Fish
absolutely... let me know what you get for it

hey i meeting this guy on the phone and i need to kno what to tell him i need to know whats is his e-mail address and ask if he is still gowing out with morgen? so can you please put that in a convreasashon please please that you your the best Bboppin56
i think that maybe you should take your teenbopper shit elsewhere...

I asked you some questions...where the hecklesville are they?? McDiablo
are you SURE they were ALL questions? are you having a case of the 'sillies' again where you are just pretending to type? that happens here a lot...

Do you think June is a kick ass month? McDiablo
sure... my mom's birthday is in this month...

What song is stuck in your head at the present moment?? McDiablo
paint it black cover done by the tea party

How do I shut off the governor in a golf cart, so that I will be able to move at the maximum speed of the cart?
hmmm... i'm not sure... i know people who have done that but not exactly what they did ... sorry

why the hell can't you get any help from the employees at fucking walmart?
their job is to avoid you like you're the plauge... and if you do catch them they have been trained to smile at you with a vacant look in their eyes until you shut up and go away

why are most men such cock sucking pig bastards?
same reason most women are damn headcases... they're bred that way and only a few escape the programming

Do you know what Fido Dido wants with me? If not, would you like to hazard a guess? - Mzebonga
i think it has something to do with that new saddle he got you and his newly obtained collection of used kleenex from the cast of star trek voyager he got on ebay

Do you use fabric softener when you take a bath (being a sock monkey)? (Omuletzu)
damn straight... gotta keep fluffy for my fans

Weird song with weird lyrics: Dj Krust & Saul Williams - Coded Language. Explain to me what that song is about, please. (Omuletzu)
i haven't heard of that song nor the people doing it... so i have no idea what that song is about

what is"zunt"?
some word you made up to win at scrabble and got away with it

can u give us some answers about female sexrelationships?that if u're a female or something...:)
well with ALL sex relationships... you figure out what each other likes and do it... the trick is finding someone who isn't a fucking headcase or 'cock sucking pig bastard' to have sex with

why between the legs of a beatifoul women is a empty space?
well if there was a circus it would be hard to fit in the elephants

why i cant find any fucking pictures of pixi stix... it pisses the fuck outta me man..*snarls*
who? nevermind... just look at these pictures

Do Lepricons exsist?
leprechaun exsist... they're just hiding from you nasty humans

How can a show with puppets only moving their lower lips to talk be entertaining?-Berpee
well that all depends on what they're saying and if they're the kinda puppets that get to beat each other with sticks to humorous music

are you a monkey?
i'm a sock monkey... you must be new here

this is an honest to god question, i swear: why does your hair turn BLUE or something when you grow older?
i don't think it actually turns blue does it? i thought that it was just from them dying their hair or something and the pigment just not taking it or something... damn you humans are weird

Why does milk turn solid when it goes off?
to amaze you... if you leave it in plastic cups it stains them

is there any news from our future masters, the Cats? all hail the Cats! - Fido Dido
they say 'GET BACK TO WORK'... so print off those flyers and go door to door spreading the word

i think the trunk warmer came first, because, otherwise, the elephant would get a cold trunk, and so it wouldnt bother existing, until such time that it would have a warm trunk. once early man knitted a primative trunk warmer, elephants started to come about, with these trunk warmers warming their trunks. gradually, elephants evolved their own built-in trunk warmers, and there was no need for man to make trunk warmers for the elephants. modern trunk warmers are just for show, really. BUT.... how would early man know to make trunk warmers, if there was nothing with a trunk? this is the question often used to refute my previous arguments. however, i have come up with a solution to this - the Cats. the Cats, being almighty such as they are, wanted elephants to work for them, thus, taking on the form of gods (this isnt hard for them, as they already are), they commanded man to make trunk warmers, in order to make the elephants, to serve the Cats. what do you think of my theory? - Fido Dido
i think it is a sound theory and the cats have applauded you for your efforts

and i love you to notice, i'm devoted. to destroy, for noone. now its that time again to take revenge on all the debutantes and their friends. the bitter charlemagnes so self-absorbed. the bodily remains such a bore. hey yeah, was i good enough to break you? - Fido Dido
well i think i broke that one night... but i'm all better now

גרהה תא קנםפהל does this appear properly to you? it's in hebrew. - Fido Dido
it did on the original submittal page but didn't transfer after that...

whos that person in the photo next to "all about you"?Whoever it is..fucking HOT!!!!so if you could give me its e-mail or # or something nice.
i'm not sure.. could be jcp from a long time ago but then again it could be a complete stranger... you'll just have to touch yourself using that picture unless jcp knows who it is for sure

i like big butts, do you?
not when they're sitting on me so i can't breath

i like to order a tofu chicken flavoured cow fat, also make sure its pack with chemicals and hormons..k?..
um no...

Is it physically possible to increase the storage size of your bowels? I just want to know how long i can go without taking a crap.
i'm sure that it's something you could slowly do with proper training... i read about a guy who goes once a year because he's been able to figure out exactly what his body needs without any waste

If ten aliens land in your back yard how many pancakes can u fit in your dog house?
1200 without syrup

My baby toe would like to inform you that compulsive fecal smearing does not count as a surprising, secret, super-power. In fact, for a sock monkey, it is just rather typical. However, if I were to pull all of the stuffing out of your ass, and then wear your sock-skin on my foot for three or four weeks, after injecting psilocybin spores into my baby toe, and then removed your skin and re-stuffed you, you would find that my baby toe could completely control your sock-monkey mind and that you would be grateful for it, you sweet, little tart. Any last words before I disembowel you, grasshopper?
yes... 'i hate you all'

Do you smell that?
no i'm recovering from being ill and have snot filling up my face so i can't smell

What do you want?
happiness... health... some money so i can move away from everyone and just work on this site... and some pizza... oh and more coffee

Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want one? I don't care if you're a man or a woman. I would fuck you because you're brilliant.
i have many girl and boy friends... haven't you seen my pictures??? and hey if you don't mind having your picture taken then you can come over any time you want... and if you're camera shy then i guess i can deal with it

Have you slept with Mick Jagger? How about Peter Murphy?
neither of them from what i remember

Is Jesus coming?
no he left a long time ago

Who left the cake out in the rain?
it wasn't me... i would have eaten it

I nominate this question for a stinky monkey-butt award," WHAAASSUUUUUP?!?"
yea ok you get it ... but the award is mostly going out to that whole advertising campaign

Do assholes have feelings?
mine does when i've eaten spicy food

I will rub you down with brain jism and you will start to shake. Your mind will burst open before me and we will laugh and breathe symbiotically, minds gone. Now, won't you fall to your knees and accept my baby toe into your heart as your insane lord and saviour?
sure... that's a lot easier to worship then some of that other shit they're trying to shove up my ass

I hat Sarah Jessica Parker. Would you like to join me?
well i'm not giving her any hats ... they're mine

What would be more painful? Celine Dion singing for a douche commercial or habanero sauce squirting in your eye?
i would gladly squirt the sauce in my own eye... celine dion singing for a douche commercial would make me forever turn off my tv in disgust ... i mean we shouldn't have to watch fucking douche and maxi pad commercials

Do you go out to "clubs" a lot or are you insane enough to realize that the places are full of narcs and fresh, young, secret intelligence agents?
i used to go out but since i hate people so much, it doesn't do anything to see them get drunk and stupid... besides around here all the girls are sick sluts and the guys are dumbass jocks

i love you dc, not that deep spiritual shit or anything, i just wanna stroke your tail, and give you coffee. can i stoke your tail dc?*orgasmic shudder*-marissa
of course you can rub my tail... and you can rub my back too

Shaping his buttock silky smooth was one of his _______? now! make a good answer!That other one creativity..come on man!THINK!..ill give you more questions till u make a good answer out of this..k?
damnit get over this... i don't HAVE to do anything you tell me so THERE... this is my final answer... 'green lilypads from the pond where that boy had drowned and he had found the body and fucked it with a stick but then his mom saw him and spanked him with the arm of the dead boy'... if you don't like it then too bad for you and i'm not answering again

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