Cat fur in your mouth

Glass on the road

Getting shit rubbed in your face

Your pillow smelling of urine

Water dripping on your head… and you don't know where its from

Big whiteheads

Rotten fruit

Hemorrhoids

Puke in your shoes and then putting on those shoes

A huge pimple on your butt, and when you sit down, it explodes

Stupid questions

Pom Poms

Bugs In Your Salad

Non-sticky Post-Its

Checkered Bellbottoms

Bicycle Bells

Howling Dogs

Snow

Nipple rings that get caught in wool sweaters

Final Sales

Dogs that bite your ass, follow you on to the bus, keep biting your ass and follow you home while biting  your ass

Stinky mops

Forgetting to shut off the alarm on weekends

Warm moldy pizza

Slugs that crawl between your toes

The pinky toenail

Rusted nails through your toes

Whale shit floating in the ocean

Loud noises that stop just before you find them

Power outages at inconvenient times

Having the shit scared out of you

Burnt popcorn

Having to drink a big glass of rotten milk.

Watching TV when the picture is off track

Cow plop in the mud you fell in

Skull fractures

Not being invited to things that your friends are

Donkeys in your living room

being stalked by an emu

Losing teeth

Sitting on ice cubes when you're naked

Tie patterns

Poorly designed logos

Enemas

Sedation against your will

Phone company commercials

Loud Cars

Spotlights in your eyes

Postcards

Dead dolphins in your pool

Black eyes

to be continued...at the end of shows

Calling bellbottoms 'flared pants'

All caps emails

Worms in your food

Snotty Kleenex's

Molotov cocktails in your house

Printer jams

Really big pants

Half dead things on your lawn

Loud beeping

Wet stuff on your socks

Computer programs that work when ever they feel like it

Rotting peaches

Stale Bread

Diarrhea Filled Toilet Overflowing

Sour Milk

Old Records That Skip

fun fairs that are actually death traps

glass shelves that rattle for no apparent reason

confusing the Nile with some other river

beaded costumes

scrolling text that is blurred or in a bad font

disappearing toolbars

special formulas that aren't special at all

long distance calls cut short by disaster

high heeled cowboy boots in a horrid shade of blue

telling someone you're a vegetarian so no meat in your food and then they ask if you want gravy

finding threatening posters in the elevators of your apartment building from the landlords

being called the 'resident idiot' when you don't even live there

being told to 'please play again'

being told it's ok to paint and then when they don't like the color they say you're not allowed to anymore

tea bags that bust apart and ruin a perfectly good cup of tea

being told someone is going to kick your ass but all they do is punch you in the face

broken glass crawling into your bed with you while you sleep

being told that the world will end, and only after doing something stupid do you find out it's a lie

making the top ten of some shitty 'top ten' list and your family is all proud and have a big dinner in your honor

having a song you like played over and over until you hate the song and you go crazy and kill the band

when your clock batteries start to die and you don't notice until you're horribly late for something important

pointed questions

that noise the phone makes when it's been off the hook for awhile

when you're taking a shit and your tailbone snaps which sends you sinking into the toilet

while talking to someone important, your crotch suddenly starts to itch really bad

seeing someone you really want to meet but if you go talk to them you're a huge weirdo so you do nothing and end up feeling crappy about seeing them at all

painful servitude