so very happy you put my question up, now i have a few more for
1. Which is more of a public outcry? Maiming or Killing? I mean,
I imagine a God-fearing Christian forced on her knees and shot
in the back of her head with a 12 gauge shotgun is " socially
unacceptable " but imagine. Every five minutes blow a hostages'
extremity off and THEN let them go. You be the judge.
2. I've decorated my room with a lage amount of index cards with
people I don't like on them. There are a lot, and I had to classify
them on a rather loose system. Anyways, what else can I do to
improve my " decor " i'm thinking blood, but I don't
have a good things to write. Help me out.
3. Lately, i've been walking and i get " cold chills
". It has a lot to do with when i'm angry or thinking "
socially unacceptable thoughts ". I think i'm feeling evil
in a very pure form. Care to elaborate? -San
1. Well, I don't care what the person being shot believes,
it's irrelevant. I would personally say that the public
would be more offended with people having body parts shot off
because the media would be able to better hype up the whole ordeal.
If people were killed, then sure it'd be a big deal, but there
would be no tear-jerking interviews and updates on how it's affected
the victims lives.
2. Voodoo dolls hanging from your ceiling would look good.
Perhaps various weapons on your wall would fit as well.
3. I do not believe in the existence of 'evil' because I
would then have to believe in a god. If you feel chills
when you think like that, then don't think like that. Plus,
who cares if you think about stuff like that, just don't act on
it unless you can deal with the bullshit it will cause after.
if i shoved
a hot ironup your ass, shot you in your leggs, then dump off in
the middel of the desert what would you do???...gopostal
Well, I'd probably scream in pain from the hot iron,
pass out from being shot in the legs, and I'd die in the desert.
That or I'd be pretty pissed and never call you again.
the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac movie coming out?
Never heard of it, so I'm assuming by xmas so they
can sell more toys.
why do they
call it 'the cosby show' when they are the Huxtables? why did
harry meet sally? smurfette is such the slutt! why do you drive
on a parkway, and park in a driveway? i miss gummi bears animation.
daddy, is that you? NO! why is my breed of sock monkeys dying
out? shaggy and scoobie doo are smoking pot again. i saw the smoke
billowing out of the van. and they have the munchies again. do
you know when a door isn't a door? i do. it is when it is a jar!
ha, ha! slim shady. yeah, i hear you. (not you, the little voice
in my head). do you have any dreams you'd like to sell? nevermore,
quoth the raven. i said thier is a fly in my soup goddammnitt!
carry your ass out the door. the aliens may see you... yes, i
am too sane! i have papers stating it! bambie sue
Because Bill Cosby has such a hang up about his name.
Harry met Sally because Sally was slutty and Harry was horny.
Sock monkeys never die, they just lose all their fuzz. I
have dreams every night, and welcome offers from those who wish
to buy them. (PS - Glad to know you're still alive Bambie
it but I don't think I'll come out purple unless It's a white
sock monkey. Have you seen any white ones? ~P.N.
No, I've seen the gray one though... i took pictures
of them when they were doing nasty things too.
invented the lollypop?
That would be Lolly-ann Pop. She wanted to lick
her candies instead of having them in her mouth. So she
put it on a stick.
my life suck so fucking much. The only comfort I have is my bullet
proof vest and a yard filled with land mines. Any other suggestions?
Razor wire around the yard works well. If you
start to doubt your existence, then cut yourself with it to bring
you back to reality. Pain makes you see clearer. And
life only sucks when you work in a job where they treat you like
shit, don't give you promised raises, never give you an office,
never think you've done well and continue to treat you like shit.
Hi. I wanted
to let you know that I wrote something, here it is. Laugh today
cry tomorrow die again filled with sorrow leave another touch
of death as my heart fails to beat and I began to freeze the depths
of hell swallow me and I live again to see tomorrow. I love you
That's not a question, and no, I don't think you do
do nasty things? Like what? No wait... don't tell me... no ...
okay... yeah, tell me.
The hesitant way that you asked proves to me that you
are currently unable to handle the truth of the sock monkeys.
You must continue to train from the masters, and one day you will
be told the truth.
I gave DemonBoy
a cat and now the cat's dead. I'm thinking of cutting off one
of his fingers, should I do it? ~P.N.
That all depends on why the cat died. If it was
his fault, then cut off everything, but if it wasn't his fault,
then he gets to hurt you.
if i where
a dick and you where a mouth what would you do?
I probably wouldn't associate with you because all
you'd want to do is silence me. I'd introduce you to my
friend asshole and i'm sure you two would make a great couple.
How do they
get the deer to cross at those yellow signs?
Read Killer Deer From Hell in articles... and you'll
see just how smart the deer really are... never underestimate
know the lolly pop men are asexual losers they couldnt even steal
a piuce of cheese.that lolly pop question was cool,props.will
you touch me?i feel lonely,and you still havent given me my wallet
back you whore!?i also want a jelly omelet as compensation.john
lubits and mark tony eatin' eyeballs and macoroni.expe t a cristmas
carol from me.boo boo --demonboy"_"
I will not touch you unless you pay for my airfare
to where ever it is that you live. I told you that I didn't
touch your wallet. I don't celebrate xmas so no carols ever
they called buildings when they'er already finished? Shouldn't
they be called builts?-Lint
They are called that to give homage to the block goddess
Buildina. By erecting these structures, the ancient tribe
of the Buildinians believed that good fortune would be given to
those who lived in the highest rooms of the structure. This
is why penthouse suites are so expensive.
superman could stop bulllets with his chest,but when someone throws
a gun at him he'd always duck?-lint
Because guns are bigger then bullets, so therefore
they hurt more to be hit with.
farting noises so funny sounding?
Maybe they are only funny to you. Sometimes gas
can be quite painful to release and there you are making fun of
a serious problem. Shame on you and your mother.
tarzan have a beard?-Lint
Because he is actually an alien posing as a jungle
human (their terminology, not mine) and he hasn't mastered facial
earase a word with a pencil where does it go?-lint
Now if I told you that, I'd have to tell everyone,
and what would be the point of an eraser? Sometimes it's
just better if you people don't know the truth.
it so fun to act retarded? Do you like to act retarded? Can you
bite your ear or your nose? If I'm retarded (or just want to be)
what should I do?
I only found it fun when I was young. A friend
and I would go door to door, her pretending to be retarded, and
we would ask people if it was ok if she used their swingset.
Other times I would act retarded and go into stores, with my friend
pretending to be my caretaker. Either way, it may be fun
to act like that, but for people who really do have to live with
it, they'll know when you're pretending and will kick your sorry
ass. I don't think you have to worry about acting like one
though, or even wanting to be like that, cuz basically you already
are... so enjoy!
for the advice about the razor wire. But i don't even have a job.
I cut myself, and i can see a bit clearer, but these people keep
pressing god on me. Who is this jessus? And what is this Hollie
Run far away from these people... pretty soon they'll
have you killing first borns, slaughtering whole towns and imposing
insane restrictions on what you can or can't do. The bible
they talk about is a dead story that these people use to prove
non-existent points and provide make-believe 'facts' about our
world. Steer clear from these crazy people... they are the worst
hurt me!? again? He has cut me, he tried to choke me, handcuf
me. I think it's my turn now, don't you think? I also want to
cut of his fingers 'cause he killed a poor defenseless weasel
while he was sleeping in his room. I think he was jelous of the
weasel and his good fortune. ~P.N.
mmmm... handcuffs..... boy does that bring back memories....
and weasels... mmmmmmm
put some voodoo dolls up, but I don't want to look ghetto. I spent
all my money on Riot Gear and weapons like you said, so i'd have
to make voodoo dolls out of potatoes and olives. But then again,
i need to eat... Any other decorations you can think of?
Yes, keep some bottled water around. I would
look into getting some skulls or bits of human bones too.
They are fun to play with and make great instruments.
everyone say that being good and happy is good for you when being
bad and angry is much easier and more fun?... gopostal
Because happy people become happier when they see that
they are annoying others. Don't believe anything that 'everyone'
tells you. Humans as a group are stupid, yet the individual
is a bit smarter.
girls) think of some great stuff? But do we ever know when stuff
becomes obsolete? Like slinky's, and anything neon?
Why thanks... and nothing on this site becomes obsolete,
just stupid or boring. We decide what we want online, and
rip out the rest... we have loads of stuff offline still like
the horrorscopes, the reviews, the results of polls, articles,
pictures and more. We add things at random.... and who said
slinkys were obsolete???
Do you make
your sock monkeys or do you buy them somewhere?
So far I have had them given to me by others who have
the word gibberish come from?did it come from the giber people?--demonboy"_"
I think it came from the Giber colonies. Back
in ancient times, the Gibers were a strong sock monkey tribe who
roamed the plains of what became known as Canada. They used
blow darts and trained howler monkeys. Sadly, they all died
at some point or another. And so long lives the word gibberish.
a while now. I have plenty of bottled water now. I chased cats
today, but it got cold, then hot, and I realized I was sitting
in the grass. Suddenly, the moon came out and It was so big, it
felt like I might bump my head on it. My last girlfriend was a
Masochist, I almost found out the hard way. I should have listened
to my inner voice, eh? People are afraid of me and I'm the whitest
person I know. Ever had a grudge that was just insanely beautiful
it finally manifested into physical strength and almost to the
point where you can do just about anything? -San
Which inner voice do you listen to? There are
always so many telling you so many things... kill the paperboy...
eat the gum off the sidewalk... that dog is staring at me... they're
all going to laugh at me... eat the gum, go on.... will anyone
miss the paperboy if i kill him.... black holes are amazing...
what about the dropa disks... jupiter is really big... cool shades
of colors... that sun is too bright... that sun is a star....
do i touch the sock monkey there or not....
anyways.... i have released my grudges into violent displays of
rage and verbal abuse. That's about all i could do with
hell am i sending a question, its not like i can concentrate remotely
long enough for it to make any kinda coherent sense look it just
begins to spiral around and around and around some more for good
measure, oh wait its not a question, yes it is, hm well it might
be, dunno, questions questions. oh yeah why am i asking this question
is the question.....
You are asking because you are seeking guidance in
your sorry life. You have no goals, no future and no hope.
Quite frankly, even your mother has given up on you, she tells
everyone you're the exchange student from the Arctic.
Hey, I decided
to write and ask a few more questions. 1. Lately, the sky has
been rippling and the lights seem way too bright, what's up with
that???? 2. I downloaded the Soviet National Anthem performed
by the Russian Red Army Choir and I find it to be rather enjoyable.
Namely because I think it sounds pround and whenever I play it
in a crowd, they seem to part around me. Why is that? -San
1.That is just the way the aliens would like it for
when they take us over. Don't be worried. 2.Most people
are afraid of national anthems due to all the horrible plagues
and killing it has caused. Ignore them.
a good age to commit your first murder?
Well, the quality and reason of the murder is more
important then the age you are. Age is irrelevant if the
murder is for a stupid reason and done in a un-creative way.
Do you know
why is a Raven like a writing desk? ~P.N.
Because they can both be taken apart, ground up and
eaten with pickles.
If it was
so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't,
it ain't. That's logic. Right? ~P.N.
Logic is that fuzzy bit of brain that makes it alright
for people to do nasty things to one another without having to
feel bad about it or responsible for their actions.
Oh... wait a minute... that's religion.
you make service apart of your every day life?
You could come work for me. I would make sure
that you wouldn't have to worry about this anymore. Please
forward me your resume, along with a list of domestic skills you
sure you dont want to see the cristmas carol?it starts off- deck
the halls with parts of charlie. ....raise the tree an bring the
latter.... top it off with gil's gal blader. so how bout it ?its
nice* and gory:) (*)the evil nice NOT the good nice.evr see an
evil mantis?P.S. so you are a whore.
xmas sucks.... i guess i'll have to put my sign up
again... but gory is fun. Fun fun fun in the sun sun sun.
If the word
horrible becomes horiffic, why does the word terrible become teriffic?
Has the world gone mad!!! donna, uk
The english language has adopted so many words from
other languages, that it doesn't always make sense. English
is the hardest language to learn and even those who speak english
don't always understand each other! UK english is different
from Canadian, and both of those are different then US english.
Languages are strange... it'd be nice if we all knew the same
one, but it'd be a shame to loose all the others. Either
way, the word terrific sucks and should be outlawed because only
bubbly airheads use it to describe how they feel.
Why is my brother
such a dick 'ed?
Because all brothers are. And
all sisters are bitches. It's just the way things are.
The trick is to gang up together so the parents can't have majority
does our subconcience
comunicate and if so would the word DORG many thing to you
DORG to me means Don't Organize Retired
Grandparents. It may mean other things to other people,
such as Donate Organs, Randomly Giggle. My subconscious
communicates all the time with me... I dream every night and remember
it, and I am constantly daydreaming.
to live to suffer and then die. What is the point in life if we
suffer throughout? Are we bred to teach others to suffer? or are
we bred to die?
We are bred to live, then die. You decide how
the living part goes, or else someone else will.
newborn baby was (for some tragicreason) raised by monkeys and therefore
talked their language. Do u think that if we stole it from the monkeys
ten years later and taught him english, we could use him to communicate
with monkeys? Don't you think the world would be a better place?
We could find out why they find bananas so appealing couldn't we?
I don't think it'd be tragic to be raised by monkeys... look how
some people raise their kids... monkeys would at least love the
kid! The kid would be able to communicate with the monkeys,
but not us... and depending on the age of the kid when we found
it, the kid may be past the age of being able to learn enough to
communicate with us properly. Bananas are good... why do we
have to be monkeys to enjoy them!!!
conscience dosent stop you from doing bad things, it only stops
you from enjoying them.what do you think about this?--demonboy
I think that that is a fair statement. I like
my conscience though...
you aware tha DEATH has a horse named binky, likes flowers and
kittens, and worked as a short order cook once?kinda puts things
in a wierd light dont it? just a little personal note my mom gave
me an early cristmas present, a nice white coat with stylish long
sleeves and some nice soft walls in my room.i think they go quite
well with my MSA* hair style.--demonboy "_" (*)mad scientist
Death ROCKS.... and padded walls are an awesome gift!
Now you can throw yourself against the wall and it doesn't hurt!!!
Try it out!!! If you want to run head first into it... strap
a pillow to your head too!
the whole point of a Q&A to give helpful information? the
only thing more usless than your answers is a paper-mache todem-pole
floating in a pool of green jello in New York.
The whole point of this q&a is to ask insane questions
(the Q), and to recieve insane answers (the A). My answers
are only as useful as the question calls for. And I love
that paper-mache todem-pole floating in a pool of green jello
in New York.... don't you diss it.
and a friend of mine are mentally sick! It started off with us
screming "nnnnnyyyyyyaaaa!!!" But for the past six months
or so, we've become sick and twisted. We talk about scalping chogs
and stroking monkeys! What advice have u got for us?
Stroke monkeys with your left hand, and never go against
do we do with all the fat people overloading the world with methane
gas and killing the ozone?
fat people don't overload the world with methane, people
who have terminal gas problems do. Get your facts straight
or I'll send over a fat person to sit on you. As for getting
rid of those methane people... just light them on fire.
the hell do people like William Shatner? He's fat, he can't act,
and he let his wife get drowned in his pool.
People like him because he is the Big Giant Head, and
you don't mess with that.
you think you should post a "good answer award?" i think
some of your answers are dwarfed by the quality of the questions
you answer. i would like to know what answers to read and which
to skip. my time is valuable and not to be wasted on poop like
answers. please dont delete this, i am trying to help you. if
you like, you can rip on this question and then make fun of my
lineage. Sounds fun, no? also, are you guys Canadian? i see all
this UK stuff and i am confused because you say canada leeches
off of welfare. i love what you've done with the place.- love,
My answers are always good... well Ok, so perhaps even
I get bored when I'm writing them. I suppose the longer
ones tend to be a bit better, but I don't have much time to answer
all these questions, much less rate them. Perhaps someday someone
will pay me to maintain this website daily and then I'd be glad
to rate them. Yes, we are all Canadian. I didn't say
everyone leaches off welfare, just some people who ruin it for
everyone. I am unaware if UK has a welfare system at all.
And thanks... we've been decorating for the winter.
night I had a dream that my arse started singing...does this mean
that I should try a career in the music business? p.s. do u think
it's time I took a shower?
Last night I had a dream that I was shot just before
I was to meet Mike Patton. Boy was I pissed when I woke
up. Anyways, no you shouldn't start a career in the music
industry. Your ass should, but you stay out of it.
And yes, take a shower.
the hell do they but brail on drive-thru ATMs?
So blind people out driving around can get some cash.
Just because they're blind doesn't mean they can't live normal
sex good therapy for break-ups?
depends on who the sex is with.
can't feel my heart. Does this have anything to do with too many
people to care about?
It might have something to do with the fact that there
is a large knife embedded in it. Just pull it out and you'll
do u never update your site?
Well, when it was first built in 1996, there was no
need to ever update it because it was just that good. We've
decided to leave it exactly the way it was back then, and to this
day have not updated it even once. Some may say that we're
trapped in the past, but we just appreciate our history.
Perhaps someone as observant as yourself should work for the government,
as you clearly are able to see through the bullshit and point
out the obvious truths of this world.
people say that dogs can communicate by barking. If this is true,
how did they learn that language? Who taught them if there was
no other dog around to teach them?
Barking is not a language. Humans would still
make sounds even if no one taught them a language. Plus,
dogs use telepathy to speak to each other, and they are taught
by other dogs through telepathy.
you ever licked a gecko? If not, why? it's so much better than
getting screwed by a sock monkey.
I didn't know it could get better then being screwed
by a sock monkey! Where do you get geckos or is there a
licking booth somewhere?
being crazy the same as being insane? If so, how does being insane
keep me from going crazy?
Crazy is when you do things and you're too stupid to
not know better. Insane is when your perception of life
is quite different then others, yet you don't realize that and
think that everyone else is crazy, and they are.
is it that i scare people without even trying? and why is it that
babys stare at me, not the "were babys so we'll stare at
anything" stare but the "we know what you are"
stare and then start crying?--db"_"
babies are annoying crying machines... ignore them.
As for you scaring people.... quite frankly it's your breath,
and that crusted snot that's always on your face... a damp washcloth
it my imagination, or does creams "white room" have
the same basic beat as steppenwolfs "magic carpet ride?"
Now if I told you, you'd never use your imagination
again, and quite frankly, I encourage imagination.
you like george carlin or bill hicks?
I don't know who bill is so I'll go with george.
you like fucking a mice tight sock monkey ass?
what do mice have to do with it? That is a completely
you like the taste of semen in your mouth?
which type in particular? everyone's tastes different...
just like snot.
do you get a dog hard? its an insane question.
Not really insane... more sick. I'm sure you
would stimulate it sexually to produce a 'hard' penis reaction
from the dog. If you want the dog to get hard muscles, exercise
and training would do the trick.
me the way to the next whisky bod,o dont ask why,o dont ask why,
for if i dont find my next whiskey bod i tell you,you WILL die.aNyWAyS
if i gave you money then said i fucked your girl friend and your
mom,what would you do...gopostal
you're assuming that i have or like girls, and assuming
that i was born instead of instantaniously being created like
so many believe the world was. Other then that... I'd thank
you for the money.
you reffer me to a site that might give me any info on the effects
of different colored light on plants? What effect does different
colored lights have on plants?
Well, as far as what is in "Color Psychology and
Color Therapy" by Faber Birren, experiments were done with
plants and different colors by Dr. Withrow. He found that
responses differed for long-day and short-day plants. In
long-day plants, the greatest response occurred in the red region.
Under yellow, green, and blue the plants did not grow tall or
flower, but the foliage was abundant. A plant treated under
infrared did not flower. With short-day plants, supplementary
red light hindered flowering. Now you don't need to go to any
other site, but you may want to go to library or get the book
I mentioned for more information. Bet you didn't think I'd
give you a real answer...
like cheese....do you?
I like very old cheese. It's quite nippy.
took your advice and stroked my gambian tree monkey in the direction
of its fur with my left hand. Unfortunatly though, the little
b*****d moved suddenly and I stupidly took its eye out! I tried
explaining to the monkey that I am right handed and therefore
I haven't got good reflexes in my left hand, but he didn't care!
He spat a load of verbal abuse at me for, what seemed like, forever!
Because of the abuse I was subjected to, I am currently getting
help from a group called "Animal Abuse Victims Anon"
Basically, my question is....seeing as it was your advice that
got me into this mess, are you going to foot the counselling bill???
No, you're the one who poked out it's eye. Quite
frankly, inferior petting is the cause of most monkey abuse cases.
I hope they fry your bad-petting sorry ass.
the is the most insane thing you did as a kid?
I had drawn buttons on the back of my closet wall,
and when I was in trouble, my parents would find me in there frantically
hitting the buttons hoping that when I opened the door I'd be
i put underpants on my head and yealed out a sock monkey war cry
what would you do?...gopostal
I would return the cry and instigate a war, as putting
underpants on your head and yelling is the global signal for war.
After a few pointless years of fighting, we both go home and continue
to write nasty letters to each other. After another year,
we send only ugly postcards to each other. Once another
year has passed, we only send cards on birthdays until one of
are the sock monkeys? I see monkeys all over the place but none
of them are sock.
Those are monkeys that have not yet evolved to become
socks. Give them time.
you have sex with me?
Only if you pay me and if I get to use various foods.
Why no, I'm not all that happy today.
you a gerbel fondler? How about a rodent raper? Hampster humper?
Squirrel squeezer? Ferret fucker? Mole molester? Lizard licker?
Uh, no. I do like eating fruit bars though.
Boy are they good. Sometimes they kinda melt a bit, but
that just makes them more enjoyable. Perhaps you should
stay away from the zoo... they don't like your type in there.
does toilet cleanser taste like?
a deaf kid cursed, would his mother wash his hands with soap?
No, she'd force him to sign a million times "I
will not swear"
you consiter your self a whore or just a slut?...gopostal
Depends on the day really...
long does it take for a sock monkey to cum?
20 seconds if you're good
aedi dooG !yad eht rof sdrawkcab etirw ot enoyreve rof si aedi
ehT .egap saedI dna sthguohT enasnI ruoy rof aedi na s'ti ,noitseuq
enasni na t'nsi sihT <<<Start here.
Well, that would be extremely annoying. I would
also have to do that to all the stuff I already have and quite
frankly that is a big pain in the ass.
is a good liar?
hmmm... hard to reply... so many liars out there...
but so few of them good. Also, many people are liars, but
somehow don't think they are, or that it's ok to lie to get what
you want. Politicians, lawyers, government, technical support,
large corporations and the list goes on and on. Advertising
and TV are the best means of lying though. I'm a damn good
liar if I ever say "Hey, it doesn't matter about the environment
and I'm thinking of going to McDonalds to eat while I plan to
do everything that TV tells me to do."
hate people a lot.dont you?--db"_"
Yes, yes I do.
didnt you answer my question about "why cant light escape
a sigularity if light has no isotonic mass?" yet you answered
the one the one about plants and light?i still want you to answer
my light/sigularity question. ohh yha when you commented about
me needing help with a shotgun after you saw my tips on violence
in the quote section did you mean a shotgun to my head kinda help
or shotgun in my hand kinda help? also you told me you were going
to do something with the quotes, what happened?--db"_"
I like plants. And perhaps I don't want to tell
you about light escaping a singularity if light has no isotonic
mass. Maybe you should figure it out on your own!
And shotgun in your hand kinda help... make sure to take out stupid
people only... like that's hard... ha ha! I'm not sure what
will be done with the quotes... it's anther chunk of stuff we're
not sure what to do with yet. They might come back... but
not anytime soon.
does life suck?
If it didn't... what would be the point?
see villains everywhere.i see them next to me on the bus, i see
them on the t.v., i hear them on the radio,i see them walking
down the aisle of the market, i hear them trying to push theyr
ideas and hearing no one elses.but why should i close MY eyes
cover MY ears and shut out the voice in my head that tells me
that i shouldnt listen to them?i see villains every where.do you
know what i mean bye villains?what do you think about the villains?--db
I think the villains should all be removed... a virus
like the one in 12 monkeys to eliminate all of us. Humankind
is vile and lacking any intelligence. In the meantime, turn
off your tv, turn off your radio, and think only your own thoughts.
Just keep coming here... you need some insanity... and sign all
your money and cds over to me.
does my sister keep banging her head against the wall?
Probably because it feels so good when she stops.
time to find the jello hiding in the plants.... don't deny it...
i know it's there. you must keep a box of Yellow Jello in
every kitchen's cupboard just for safe keeping ...gotta
have it, it is very important also, green jello is pretty
adequate considering it's green
well, i'm of the belief that the yellow is always bad...
and that orange is the wave of the future. Orange is totally
the way. And the green is only for plants, the government just
wants you to eat it so they can track you and sell your travel
habits to big companies.
you ever written in questions pretending to be someone else but
really it's just you?
You have no proof and I refuse to respond to these
you ever pondered the color green?
Only on Fridays after eating pizza. I think that
green is green because cartoon frogs are green and quite frankly,
cartoon frogs don't like any other color. Kermit also likes
you name all the planets and identify which ones have rings?
Duh... of course.... Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter,
Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto (still in debate about if it's
a planet or not but they've decided for now to continue to include
it as a planet), and Saturn, Uranus and Neptune have rings.
Everyone knows this stuff though.
I slapped the ass of a monkey named Bob, how would the bus know
I was there to pick me up?
The more relevant question is "How did you know
the monkeys name was Bob, and what made you believe that a monkey
would have a stupid name like Bob?". The answer to
all of it is 42.
the hell is Nodnol?
It's London spelled backwards... it's a backwards world
where santa comes down the chimney and steals all the kids favorite
voices in my head won't talk to me anymore and my gerbel keeps
calling me names. MY NAME IS NOT SHIRLEY!!!!!!!!
Surely it is.... and if you changed the newspaper in
the gerbils cage, it would yell at you. As for the voices
in your head, send them flowers and they'll be sure to talk to
it art that made the fart or the fart that made the art and is
that why most art smells?...gopostal
only art can make a fart art but the fart is not made
by art, only into art. And it is not the art that smells,
but the environments in which they are in.
you opened a bar for fags would you call it the bloody butthole
or the dirt little sock monkey?... gopostal
I'd call it Sock Monkey Moments and play the coolest
music ever. Opening a bar would be cool... no matter who
the clientele was.... but it'd rock if it was a Sock Monkey bar
for only sock monkeys.
smells like pork and has green all over?how can a color have taste?we
can associate colors with tast,but colors dont have taste! cryons
dont count.also jupiter has A ring.also those are just the planets
in this solar system.if you wish to learn about more about some
planets that are not in my solar system i refer you to Discover's
galaxy guide issue(aug. or sept. 2000 i cant remember).by the
way the answer to the 1st question is miss pigy in heat.bye--db"_"
Damn... I thought that the answer to one was my mother
after many beers, piles of pork, spinach and some salted peanuts.
Anyways... the answers to the rest...
2. Take many drugs or eat an orange.
3. Again, eat an orange.
As for the rest, sometimes rings go loopty loop... and sometimes
they just spin around. According to my manual... it says
"Earth: Mostly Harmless"tm.
famous has ever worn dentures?
Well, I would have to pass on this one as I have no
idea. Somehow I was absent the day they taught this in school.
However, if you get your hands on a list, and any of them are
cute and willing to do deeds minus the teeth... let me know.
you ever tasted purple? ~P.N.
Yes, and quite frankly, I didn't care for it at all.
didn't you answer my question about going crazy from isolation,
and only cleaning up for my girlfriend?
I didn't get that question. Going crazy from
isolation is kinda fun... and it's your job to clean up after
her unless of course she makes you clean up her dirty pads too.
can't stop masterbating with the neighbor's cat. It wouldn't be
a problem except for the hair and scratch marks. They scare my
I'm a bit worried about the cat more then your girlfriend...
poor cat! Just start having your girlfriend treat you rough
in bed and you won't need the cat anymore.
asked if you would have sex with me and you answered that only
if I paid you and only if you could use various foods. What kind
of food woould you use?
strawberries, honey, pickles and peanut butter.
So where's my money?
spanish teacher bitches all the time. Is homicide justifiable
for irritable school students?
Not yet, but give it a few years. Just don't
go to class... that will show her.
sock monkeys have hair inside their ass, what color is it?
They have fluff inside their ass, and normally it's
keep hearing voices in my head telling me to do odd things like
swallowing sponges with liquid detergent and making sweet love
to my eighth month old brother, not to mention raping my cat up
the ass. So my question is should I use a condom?
Leave the cat alone. What you need is a doll
of some sort, as dolls can not have you arrested. Go ahead
and swallow the sponges though... the green ones are the best.
do you think is the best way to die
in my sleep without pain.
would you do if you knew there was only one hour until the Earth
exploded? And then what would you do afterwards if you found out
it was just a false alarm?
I would listen to all my Faith No More songs that I
can... phone the people I love and say goodbye, smoke whatever
drugs I could find, hug my cat and wait. If nothing happened...
I'd be high for awhile, come down and then get back to work.
bird died what should I do with it's body. I was contemplating
consuming it but it kinda turning green and smells like decomposing
Hmm... you waited too long so you can't eat it... so
you'll have to grind it up and put it in fruitcake. Give
it to a hated relative.
ass is growing green and purple hair about a foot long and it
smells like cooked bologna. it is kinda hard to take a shit and
all the ferrets are chasing me around. What should I do?
Slice off the hair and sell it to McDonalds.
They'll put anything in their products... as for the ferrets,
capture them, train them to do tricks and take the act on the
can I keep my sock monkey from attacking my neigbor's dog's asshole
with a spoon?
Well, once they've done it a few times, there is no
way to stop it. You will have to move away with your sock monkey
to where there are no dogs.
can't stop drooling on my grandmother. The wierd thing is, I think
she likes it.
This isn't a question... but good for you and your
you a homosexual
To the best of my knowledge, no. But this could
all just be a dream and when I wake up for real, maybe I am.
many sock monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
About four trillion. They're not that organized
and have short attention spans.
demand to know why up is so uplike when infact down would seem
so much more infact.......well like up........
I tried to understand by smashing my head against the
wall, and after a short nap on the floor things still didn't make
sense. I figured a drink would due me good, but due to my
alcohol allergy, it wasn't all that good. After the stomach
pump and the recovery days, I again attempted to fathom the greatness
of your question. I spoke with the mice and the dolphins,
but they were of no help. So my answer has to be, up and
down are relative, and in reality neither really exists at all,
but only appears to.
sock monkies have tight arses? it's just that i'd like somewhere
to store my biros!
yes they do, but i wouldn't suggest storing anything
there. Monkeys can't store things very long in their asses
due to the fact that they usually pull whatever's up there out
within an hour and eat it.
having homosexual sex with my partner and he put a mouse up my
asshole and now it won't come out and it keeps biting me in there.
What should I do? I've tried to shit it out,but it's still in
there and it still keeps biting.
Many others would tell you to kill it and pull it out,
but I say that you lure it out with cheese. Put a big hunk
of blue cheese on the table, pull down your pants, turn around
and have your bare ass facing the cheese. Pull your
cheeks apart and wait for the mouse to come out.
DO I WANT MY EX BACK WHEN IM IN A PERFECTLY GOOD RELATIONSHIP?
Because you are stupid.
That monkey ass turns me on. What should I do?
Go over to the monkey. Strike up a conversation.
Pretend to like the same things it does. Give it lots of
liquor. Offer to drive it home. Seduce it in the car.
Drive monkey home.
the hell is this?!
It's it. Much debate has been held over what
'it' and 'this' refers to. Many assumed it was sex, but
yet others thought it was a reference to some type of drug.
Needless to say, the debate still continues, and the parties involved
aren't releasing any insight as to what 'it' and 'this' is.
love my girlfriend very much. what should i do?
I refuse to answer.
This is a STUPID question... not an insane one.
music doesn't seem to be music, it sounds like a bunch of unorganized
sounds. hell, whatever's "insane" sounding, right?
yes. the Acid DC part is the REAL music.
insane sounds... imagine.
that over there?
a gumball tree.
the hell is wrong with lars ulrich?
I have wondered that many times myself. I am
not sure, but I'm sure it involves a childhood where he had to
compete for affection. He seems to find a split second in
a conversation to interrupt, then dominate by spewing off about
whatever his cause is that year. I think he has gills, as
he never seems to take a breath while talking, yet can talk for
hours without pausing.
you think punk is dead (not the music, the ethics)?
Well, I'm not the best one to
ask, so I called in our resident "Punk & Digital Hardcore"
expert Schizoid... here is his answer....
"Is the punk ethic still alive? It's all around!
Whether you choose to acknowledge it, or get involved is a
different story - In mass/mainstream, or in individual fringe
cases here in there across the world, the "punk ethic"
will always live on... Kids will always be trying to organize
cool hardcore/indie shows in their shitty white trash towns,
making web pages for the bands they like, releasing demos/7"s/etc
to their friends and the world, making political/strange opinion
zines, sharing ideas that counter the status quo, doing things
in 'true DIY fashion' - With the advent of the internet, there
is an even better opportunity for the goals and benefits of "punk
ethics" to be realized by communicating and consolidating
ideas across the web, helping to network and organize punk thoughts
and information - as well, the ethos behind the recent upsurge
in anti-globalization movements (ie. Seattle '99/anti-WTO movements),
-definitely- calls upon many aspects of the overall punk scene's
idealogies and concerns (resistance of authority/establishment/control)
- the ethics of punk are definitely still alive as a whole, the
real question is "Will you personally in your own mind, let
punk ethics die?" - Schizoid... (Generation
Fuck You & Schizoid.org)
a poser. what should i do?
think for yourself... i know it's hard, and you're
not brought up to do that... but give it a try.
hang out in this little group of about 4 people, but lately, there's
been 2 very annoying people who've ingratiated their way into
it. we all want them gone, but, as they are nice, but very stupid
and bothersome, it would be too cruel to be mean to them. what
should we do?
Just don't call them, if they continue to hang around
you, fake death until they feel uncomfortable and leave.
If that doesn't work, try signing them up for a student exchange
damn, white zombie rocked.
indeed they did.
this a dumb/retarded question,and will it be deleted or are you
going to post this on your sight to show everybodywhat an idot
of course... I show all questions as long as they are
in english, and make SOME sort of sense.
read a couple questions.dont you think that the quality of the
questions keep getting lower and lower?--db"_"
sadly, yes they do. I yearn for the days
of quality insane questions...
was the march issue.sorry bout that.oh and theres a thoery that
earth once had rings as well. anyways,are you using the missisng
quotes(you know the ones im talking about)for the insane quote
or are you just makeing them up? also how bout having a quoet
of the week or something like that and have and have the unfortunite
people who come to this site submit a quote you pick one for the
week and if theres no worthy quote for the week make one up?thank
you for your time--demonboy"_"
Good idea... we may do that in the future. We're
looking to update the look (again), and put some of the info into
database driven pages. Hopefully the quotes can be automated
and rotate like how you suggested. The quotes I am currently
using are ones I'm making up... I would put credits for those
that are from others if I used them.
here, after a long period of continual self loathing! Well, I
thought my life became a little better than shitty, but it came
crashing down again. So now I sit in my closet drinking ethyl
alcohol and looking at porn. What am I supposed to do? I don't
love her, no I don't.
it's time to masturbate... you've got your hustler
and you don't need nothing else... and that's about it.
Get over it and live your life until you die. Also, scrape
together a few bucks and get some real alcohol.
is my mother not my father??
well, she could be with a few operations! Then
your dad can turn into your mom with an operation too!
the adress of this site?
I'm not sure... i wrote it down but seem to have lost
do women havew to be suck fucking bitxhes......is there a way
i can kill my girlfriend and not get put away for it....please
How do we know that YOU'RE not the problem? Anyways...
however you kill her, eat the body. Eat all the flesh, then
grind up the bones and drink them down too. Let us know
how it tastes. For more rants about women... check out the
Chicks Suck page under Stuff That Sucks.
the dolphins ever come back?
To the best of my knowledge, no they never came back.
I don't blame them though... and it was nice that they formed
the "Save The Humans" group. They are very thoughtful.
the mice were so smart, why didn't they see it coming?
because life likes to kick you in the teeth every once
in awhile... just to remind you that you're not really in charge.
should I do if I find that I am dead
go out and enjoy life, the universe and everything.
Don't forget to bring your towel.
ha ha! that's really funny!
good question... and I'm not sure I agree. Doesn't
it seem a bit odd that we're trained from little on to buy certain
things, to do the 'right' things when in fact no one is really
having any fun at all? How can life be only to trudge through
it thinking 'someday I'll enjoy it...' when in fact that day is
guaranteed not to come as long as you think about it instead of
doing something about it. Why wait to get old to enjoy life?
Damn fools, the lot of you.
all new music "is like a bad laxative, it just doesn't move
me"(credits to jello biafra for the quote). hardly any new
bands or music really fucking MOVE me. they don't stir my soul,
throw my body around, etc. even the bands i've long held dear
have sold out, or i just don't like the new records. i feel like
an old man criticising the current generation's music. shit, amn,
i'm only 18. am i starting the old-man cycle early?
No, you are exactly on schedule. You will notice
that from now on, all new music sucks ass (unless Faith No More
freezes hell by getting back together and releasing an album)
and that everyone is copying everyone else who was original.
Get used to having people look at you all blank eyed when you
tell them what music you listen to, and don't bother getting bitter
with the endless parade of puppet-singers and pathetic boy or
girl bands. Get a sock monkey, he'll understand.
is the number one stolen thing?
well it'd be one of these.... time, kisses or looks.
Time-burglars are the worst.
DC, I have friends who hate some of my other friends. I
have friends who do drugs. I have friends who don't don't do drugs.
I have friends who drink. I have friends who drink alot. I have
friends who don't drink at all. I have friends who are dirty little
bastards. I have a friend who is a virgin. I have friends who
I've know since 1978. I have friends who I met last week. I have
some ugly friends. I have some super sexy friends. I have married
friends. I have friends who are single. I have friends who love
to give head. I have friends who don't give head at all. I have
friends who piss me off. I have friends who never piss me off.
Which one should I give anal sex to first???
Master J fert
Well, I would do the ones who do drugs first.
No reason, I just would. Then I would do the one who
is a virgin, and afterwards never speak to them again, as they
obviously need to be traumatized to fit in properly with society.
I would leave the ones who drink, as they are moody and may not
be all that fun to have anal sex with. The ones who don't
drink at all, you should buy gifts for, but no anal sex.
I would also do the friends that piss you off, then never speak
to them again. And shouldn't that be fert fert instead of
like a hardcore Punk, it pretty much comes with the attitude of
not caring. But I do care about my futre and stuff, the thing
is even though i try i still can't seem to do good in school or
any thing, and also my ex-chick has been playing mind games, leading
to the same problem, lack of concentration, suggestions? M_TEE_6
Ignore the chick, and realize that high school is a
waste of time. Learn a skill, get a job and learn computers.
High school isn't the future, it's a way to get you out of the
house and teach you to hate others. If all else fails,
hack into a large corporations computer system and they'll hire
I'm really pissed off because my so called 'friend' and his friends
smoked all of my beloved expensive kind bud behind my back! what
should I do? How could I possibly torrment them?
Well, hide it from now on. And NEVER share with
them. Then find all theirs and smoke it in front of them.
Then send them home. Afterwards, tell their dealer that
your 'friend' has dissed them, their product and their mate.
If the dealer is male, be sure to mention 'small penis' or 'cock
sucking faggot'. Be sure to leave your friends address with
My boyfriend broke up with me to go out with this bitch and I'm
feeling upset and very evil. what should I do?
Have a nice bubble bath. Be sure to get some
candles and soak for hours. When done, empty the tub, dry
yourself off and get it through your head that it's not worth
doing anything. Relationships occur, then dissolve.
If it's really bothering you that much, then make a voodoo doll
of him and learn the art of voodoo. It's quite rewarding.
are we here?
To read my answers to questions. Doesn't anyone
read and comprehend anymore?
is it that no matter how long holidays are, students always leave
the work / revision 'til the last couple of days and the kick
themselves when they have saty up 'til 3 in the morning the night
Because students are dumb. People are dumb.
These are the people who will end up saying "would you like
fries with that?".
is a good question?
Any sort of question that results in my having to think,
or money being sent to me for free.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Because if it didn't, then why would super markets
even put it in a refrigerated case, and if they didn't do that...
where would all the butter go? Sometimes the frozen section
is lonely, but damn it... that's the life it chose.
why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
It does, it just doesn't harden in there.
ARE OBVIOUSLY EVIL! Why can't anyone see this?? They are the only
vegetable which makes you cry (which is their poison gas entering
your brain) and they grow underground to avoid sunlight! They
are responsible for such abominations like pokemon, and infomercials
on Saturday Morning instead of cartoons! What are we going to
do about these awefull, evil, vile, carnivorous beings??!!??
I didn't realize the threat they were until now.
Let's put on space suits, hunt them down, and burn them all.
We'll salt the earth so they may never grow again, and kill anyone
who currently knows how to grown them. That should work.