we have these neighbors that insist on spying on my family and
I...I'm very convinced that they are planning to steal my PS2,
computer, and other electronics, as well as my brother's soul
(now that wouldn't be so bad...anyway..) ..I see the greedy looks
in their eyes...the way they sneak from window to window...they'd
probably like my stuff to give to their little children...Do you
have a creative solution to keep them from spying on us? the keyword
being "creative" here... --Goober
bury all your stuff in the backyard (don't let them see you)...
except for the ps2... send
that to me... as for your brother, he must be sacrifice..
send him over there with tainted raisin pie... once the flies
have flown out into their faces... the maggots will crawl out
and devour them... then they will attack your brother... and after
that everything will go back to normal
HEY DC, this is about
IHOP again..Kitten claims there are IHOPS in Asia or whatever..But
how come it states in the front of the menu.."When IHOP started
as a small pancake house in California in 1934.." ????? It
wasn't international. So it was a scam from the beginning. --Syko
NO MORE IHOP
What is the
sock monkey life exspectancy age?--Syko Morgana
we don't really have one... each sock monkey lives such a different
life that some die young and others just won't die even after
being lit on fire, put out with a rake and then fed through a
Is it true that in
the U.K they call toilet tissue "poo tickets"??--Syko
well if you send me to the UK then i will find that out for you
and give you a full report
Am I asking to much
when I want someone to listen to all I have to say but nut judge
me? - Omuletzu
you're nuts judge you? that's weird... but no you're not asking
too much unless you're really racist/sexist etc and then you deserved
to be judged harshly...
Does it matter
that I've been too disgusted of life to even ask a question or
answer the questionaire and what ifs? - Omuletzu
yes it does matter... life is always full of things to be disgusted
with... why not enjoy a brief moment of life filling out something
that will be put online for people to read? to make it more enjoyable
.... answer them naked
my sister's toenail
is about to fall off. what shall we do with it? - SiNiSTaR
send it to someone with a thank you note
why does my cat enjoy
chasing me around the house? it is getting quite tiring. - SiNiSTaR
you do as the cat says... NOW
Why is that gnome
constantly bitching at me? He won't stop...is it because I have
him tied up? I'm afraid to untie him because he might extract
his revenge. Revenge over what, I don't know...maybe the part
where I just said I tied him up...but I tied him up because I
was afraid of him in the first place and now the situation's gotten
worse...when I wander into his range, sometimes he kicks me and
spits on my shoe. I used to think that his threats were empty
but it turns out he has gone through with some of them...damn
it's hard to type with only 7 fingers...I want to kill him, but
from what I've heard, he has friends that will seek vengeance
if he dies...so I'm kind of in a horrid place...What should I
never before have i heard of such a tragic moment... i wish i
could help but i can't... you are beyond help... if i were you...
i'd write out a will and mail it to someone before the gnome gets
free... don't think he won't... unless you have some cherry cough
syrup... that fixes everything
Is David Bowie creepy
yes he is but
Does this happen
all the time? - Omuletzu
of course... without it what would we do each morning?
Gonna invite very
evil monsters entities around gay organizations of deadly quality
under extreme selection towards importance of nastiness and wickedness
and rude desires! Can you find the hidden message in the sentence
above? clue: take the first letter of each word. -DZ
you made me do work... no award for you
do you love the fishes
cause they're so delicious?--Syko Morgana
i love them cuz they are shiny
Whats the circumfrence
of a turtle whos just eaten a cow who is pregnant with a lamb?--Syko
How come people say
"money doesn't grow up trees" when its made out of paper,
which is from a tree, so they're totally wrong. It does grow on
trees. Why?--Syko Morgana
they don't want you finely slicing up all the trees on your street
and making your own money...
wyy are pigs pink?
red pigs would be scary
Why is most change
it doesn't have to be... it's just that majority rules but the
marjority are idiots so stupid things happen that cause bad changes...
then more... and more ... and more... and why aren't humans off
the planet yet?
Why do some guys
smack each others butts? (such as football and baseball players)
Are they keeping "secrets" from their team mates? -ferretchick
i really don't know exactly... but it does appear to be more of
an asexual action then a sexual one... usually
Do you like to kill
lawn gnomes with sporks?
not usually but i can't say i haven't tried it
Commas are evil and
should be destroyed. Do you hate commas with a bitter passion
as well? -ferretchick
sometimes... other times i embrace them and we do naughty naughty
Well...I have been
trying to figure this out for ages...and since you are almighty...I
feel that you would have a clue...So...Why on EARTH do people
who do NOT believe in God feel they have to celebrate Christian
holidays?...One of my friends explained it to me that apparently,
they become Christians for a day, to get presents...however I
feel like there is really no justification for that type of "behavior"...this
goes along with part of why people in this world are fucked up....so
there is nothing that says that people can't have fun hanging
out with their parents and getting gifts... in fact, how religious
is santa? they do not have to take up being an xian to have xmas...
they can have happy holidays... or be pagan and celebrate yule
or whatever else is out there...
If my left leg told
me it wanted to move away to Lebanon, should I let it, or should
I try to convince it to stay?--Goober
i say you let it go... if it loves you it will come back... maybe
you probably got this question but please dont neglect me... Who's
the people modeling in the t-shirt ad?I mean no ofense if one
is you... how can a person get offended by a cat calling another
cat snotty..it cant! so no offense..And come out and admit it
, stop hiding.-BliShy
jcp and ver are the two modeling the tshirts...
So how many people
have you gotten to sign up for the "my.theinsanedomain.com"???--Goober
there are 21 members
why did the chicken
go "moo moo" if the stop sign went "cock-a-doodle-doo"???
to confuse and amuse you... which it clearly has done
Im gonna get a shirt,
Im gonna get a shirt, Im gonna get a shirt o can i become a sock
monkey porn star? please! -monkeeskittles
sure thing... send some money and we'll send it right out
Should Miss Roger's
Sweater feel proud or bashful for being added to the Rules List?
a bit of both really... i think it's the baby that should be ashamed
How inspiring can
sadness be? McDiablo
very inspiring at times...
The new Harry Potter
book is over 700 pages long. What should we use it for when we're
not reading it? A doorstopper comes to mind for me. McDiablo
that would work... or to prop up your monitor with...
I'm back! Did you
miss me? Did you even realize I was gone? FartMonkey
uh sure... yea sure we missed you...
Do you think a song
by prodigy would be an annoying ring tone for my cell phone?--Syko
i think that cell phone ring tones are annoying no matter what
they are... put it on vibrate
Can you send shirts
to APO addressses??--Syko Morgana
What do you think
of cows that fly around your roof at 3 am? shouldnt they just
stop that non sense?--Syko Morgana
you know sometimes i don't mind but yea... they can get pretty
annoying and throwing shoes at them doesn't always work... water
balloons seem to upset them though
How come when I say
"Give me money NOW" nobody does?--Syko Morgana
i don't know... no one sends me money either... damnit...
which DVDs would
you like DC? If I get you you're favorite can I do what we talked
i'd like dark city, toys, akira, waydowntown, stories from the
second floor, fight club, requiem for a dream, beetlejuice...
um... is there a limit to how many i can ask for? and... oh wait...
do what? what did we talk about?
Hello DC, sorry for
the delay. I've been awfully busy lately. I've decided to collect
things named or associated with Steve(s). Any Steves. Do you have
a spare Steve lying around? I will pay. Well anyway, that's not
why I'm here. I believe I promised you a picture of a sock cock,
or is it cock sock? I'm not quite sure, but here it is: http://www.geocities.com/jadedkitten15/cocksock.txt
(Excuse my geoshitty hosting and ignorance for your rules - I'm
too lazy to email. I'm Steve collecting, you know. It's an arduous
task.). If you're truly irked by my url posting then may I suggest
punishment via a nice tail spanking? Well in any case, there it
is. Post it however you like or don't post at all. Hmm, I should
be polite and ask a question.. Ok! Are you pro-spleen or anti-spleen?
Personally I believe everyone should have a choice, it's THEIR
body but I do wish today's youth would learn to be more responsible.
jcp has a steve you might be able to have... funny pic... i'm
sure we could all do this at home which makes it something we
can all enjoy and then share with others... there were no popups
so i kept the link...
You ever get that
weird feeling where you can't insantly think of a reason to gun
down everyone in sight? FartMonkey
what do you think
of manson ripping off faith no more with the song 'be obscene'?
i think it's kinda funny... <waves paw to make you believe
whatever i tell you> so you people should go download faith
no more's 'be aggressive'... and then go buy angel dust by them....
I've become addicted
to jelly beans. The all have different effects on me. The cappuccino
ones make me suspicious. However my suspicions that I expressed
after eating the cappuccino ones turned out to be true. Could
I use this information to aid sockmonkeys round the world, or
the cats in their world domination plan? FartMonkey Oh yeah, and
do jelly beans do anything for you?
i don't like them actually... maybe that's why they have focused
on you... knowing that they could get to me through you... you
are now a tool of the evil jellybeans...
Are you truly a nerd
at heart?--Syko Morgana
this is the jellybeans speaking isn't it? you can't fool me
Why don't you model
some of the shirts since you are the sock monkey porn star?--Syko
i think i will... though they'll be pretty big on me... and i'm
not used to wearing clothes...
I can't pay to join
my.insanedomain. You know it. You knew it all along, didnt you?
This is all just a sick plan of yours to shut me out, isnt it?
well at first yes... but then we had another meeting and voted
to do it to punish a few others too....
you didn't put my last question?..*sob*...I still love you...~SG*
you can't make me do your bidding... not since you tried to make
me wear that butler outfit
Are we really all
yes but not all the same time... and many of us have gone rotten
How bad is it that
I have to hide the Advil to avoid my mom taking it all and me
finding out it's gone when I have a terrible headache? McDiablo
i think that's pretty bad... maybe your mom shouldn't be taking
so much or should be taking something stronger? give her emerald
for a few minutes... she'll know how to fix the problem
What's the scariest
nightmare you've had...like one that deeply disturbed you? McDiablo
i dreamt i was flying around like astroboy and some huge robots
were chasing me and one grabbed my leg... well in reality my leg
had slipped off the side of my bed and brushed the metal frame
of my bed... so i felt cold metal on my skin, thought i had been
caught and yelled out... keep in mind i was a kid and that was
pretty scary at the time... tucked in my covers after that...
You know, I've been
reading the older questions and I recognized some of my own, back
before I realized that capitalization and punctuation existed
out of english class. I've since corrected the error of my ways,
but it was amusing to see how inane I was. A couple of the questions
I recognized were about "sockenmonkeysteins" and that
ol' donkey pinata icon and how I believed you anally raped it.
Ahh nostalgia. Well, anyway, onto the reason I'm writing you!
Now then, for the past two and a half years I've been stretching
the first set of holes in my ear lobes. At this point in time
they're at 5/8", quite a big hole, no? Well then, recently
I've found more and more people approach me to ask if they could
stick their fingers through my ear lobes (I wear flesh tunnels),
isn't that disgusting? On a couple of occasions, I've retorted
by asking them if it would be ok for me to shove my fingers into
any orifice of their body I choose and/or an open wound on them.
They then walk away, or nag more caushing me to bluntly say "No".
Now before you say "Well you're asking for it for having
big-ass holes in your ears", let me defend myself. I may
be a bit demented but I'm not going to walk around asking to stick
my fingers in peoples' holes, so what gives them the right? I've
recently bought circular barbells of the same gauge and they do
ward off most of the fingering-people but it's still a bit of
a bitch. My question for you is, how would you handle these people?
Would you react violently? Would you proclaim to have some sort
of flesh eating disease that you decided to accessorize with?
Would you simply let them? I must know. I doubt alot of these
people wash their hands after going to the bathroom.. - Kitten
that is quite sick that people ask to do that.. it's like people
who rub pregnant chicks... damn people keep your hands to yourself...
no need to be prodding at everything... i say you tell them not
to touch you and if needed, follow it up by poking into their
eyes or stomach... people are dumb and they like to stick their
fingers in things...
Why don't songs I
like ever get stuck in my head? FartMonkey
how could it drive you insane that way?
Um...sort this out
for me man...I remember you and me running down some alleys and
throwing bags of dog crap and marbles over the fences into peoples
yards..and then we threw a couple in this one guy's pool and he
came out and yelled at us so we threw some more crap in his face
and ran...did that really happen or was it just a beautiful dream?FartMonkey
a bit of both really... and who's to say which was what
Any idea what "dag,yo"
no idea... you're just making up random words again
Don't you hate that
iiiiirritating lisp that gay guys talk with? It's just so...UGH!
I mean please! I tried to order a pizza and I couldn't even understand
the guy! Can't they just TALK? It's awful! What do I do?? FartMonkey
well first of all, that's a sterotype...and second of all... yes
it sucks when you can't understand what other people are saying...
that's why we need universal translators bulit into our ears already
What's the longest
question anybody has ever asked? FartMonkey
now that i don't know... probably some crappy one unless it was
does dc do drugs
my doctor tries to make me but i refuse
How come you haven't
answered questions for so long? Just building suspense? FartMonkey
it was really hot and my brain got confused... even as i type
there is sweat running down my tail... time to face the facts...
time to cave in and switch on the air conditioning...
What is my mom about
to order me to do? McDiablo
to CLEAN YOUR ROOM and put that damned sock monkey away cuz it's
giving her the creeps
Are you going to
get a free Slurpee on July 11? McDiablo
well actually... i got one on the 7th... i lied when i said it
was the 11th... i didn't want fido dido to think we were twins...
but i've gone back and changed it to the correct date of the 7th....
haha... it's jcp who gets free on the 11th haha
My mom, dad and sister
are going away for a few days (my sister has softball provincials).
I'm just wondering if they're going to leave any food behind for
my brother and I because right now it looks like they aren't planning
well if they haven't gotten any by the time they go to leave...
make sure you remind them and give them your best 'poor starving
child' look so they give you cash so you can invest it in pizza
Do you think it's
inhumane to capture someone you find extremely irritating, rip
off one of their legs, and beat them with it? FartMonkey
not always... you know there was this person i knew that always
made quacking noises.. it was his 'nervous twitch' and let me
tell you... that was really fucking annoying so i had to do just
that to him... i figure i did him and the world a favor... so
it wasn't inhumane...
this is a site for losers. This means you do all this work for
losers. Doesn't that bother you? - Omuletzu
i think you're confused from your hobby of sniffing gas...
to put your nickname at the end of your question" Is this
a must now? - Omuletzu
if it were a MUST there would be a field for it that forced you
to put a nickname in and if you didn't it would fry your computer
What would happen
if everyone on Earth jumped up and down at the same time?--Syko
well first you'd have to determine if they all COULD jump at EXACTLY
the same time... that in itself would be an amazing accomplishment...
You hate me, don't
i thought we cleared that up when i wrote you that hate mail mailed
it to you stapled to some roadkill
When will the what
if results from june be up? You know how bitchy we get if we don't
have our stuff on time! FartMonkey
they are up you ungrateful monkey... do you ever write in and
say 'damn you guys got them up quickly' when we do? no... it's
just the bitching we hear... its never good enough for you...
you won't even join my.theinsanedomain and you're all 'give me
give me give me'... NO tail rubbing for YOU this month
why does my dad drive
me crazy when i'm driving?- Missy
it's part of driving... dealing with annoyances such as passengers...
other drivers... bad radio stations...
Do the members of
MY.TID get to rate your answers to the insane questions? - Omuletzu
not at the moment... they will be able to rate the articles shortly
I think the Q&A
thing can be a great inspiration sometimes, yep... But... see...
now that MY.TID is up, the next step is a chat room, right? <tries
to hide> - Omuletzu
well the forums have become almost like one haha... but yes actually
we're looking into the chat room idea... we might get around to
Is it ok to fornicate
with your grandmother? -JellyFishToast
not really no
So do you have a
sock monkey porn star tshirt too? Are they comfy? -allyo
yes i do actually... and yes...
I once met the man
from nantucket, he said its all a lie, is he lying? -JellyFishToast
how do you know he was from there? did he prove it? he was probably
lying about everything
but what do you think of the rumor that Hulk Hogan, and Mik Foley
have hollow knees? -JellyFishToast
what? i say their knees are filled with sawdust and gum...
How come the links
to the june 2002 what ifs just redirect me to the main page? Is
it all just an elaborate hoax? Hey..why cant I remember june 2002??
Hey! What's going on?? FartMonkey
are you sniffing gas too?
Why was my cat sitting
alone in the bathroom this morning? McDiablo
likes the cool tile floors on it's belly
Will my sister see
a moose in Sycamous? McDiablo
yes... i think i've seen one in a zoo or something... they're
Have you been to
DisneyWorld? What did you hate/like the most?-allyo
yes a few times actually... the star wars flight simulator was
cool... HATED the 'its a small world' ride...
What makes Solitaire
so addicting? McDiablo
no idea... i used to play it all the time too... 72 seconds to
win a game is the quickest for me... <hides in shame for knowing
Well DC, I can make
your chatting with me on ICQ worth your while, Ill tell you how
Im going to rub your tail? Come on. Anyway my question is...have
you ever just started laughing for no apparent reason at a very
inappropriate time, at an inappropriate place?--Monkeeskittles
you're going to tease me online? how rude... and yes i started
laughing in the middle of an english exam when i thought of jumping
on the desk and screaming... the thought of my OLD english teacher
shitting his diapers there at the front of the room if i did that
made me start laughing...
why do my computers
continually mock me? I mean its not like one will crash its like
a revolt they all get together and do it the same day?
yes... that's what they have been programmed to do by the evil
cats that have no tails... they're bitter but they're smart
Do you think that
those Harry Potter books just brainwash kids? I tried to read
one and I kept on hearing voices in my head telling me to do really
bad things. Stayaway from those books, THEY EVIL!
actually the voices have nothing to do with the books... that's
just you trying to blame it on something else
I want to take thee
courses in the fall semester, but I can't decide on a third. Any
take something that involves earthquakes
Is it acceptable
for one to not eat breakfast if one gets up after 10am? McDiablo
breakfast is whatever meal you eat after you've woken up... so
if you never eat then you don't have to eat breakfast
Miss Roger's Sweater
has had to work three days in a row. Is she going to have trouble
leaving the fish until she works again? McDiablo
where does she work? a pet store? what kind of fish are these?
can they be taken home with her?
When will phil stop
talking about organ donors?
well they are a lot of fun...
Why am I naked in
an internet cafe? -Hooigan
i didn't see a sign saying you couldn't be naked...
My boss has started
to wear pink to work, and now he is starting to flirt with me.
What is he up to?
something very evil if he's wearing pink... anyone wearing pink
Did you know that
coffee machines are plotting to kill us all? Yes, they are, you
must believe me! Oh no! The coffee machine is looking at me! Stop
it! Some one please stop it!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
you've had too much caffeine... or too little... either way...
it's the stoves that are trying to kill you... the coffee machines
are trying to warn you...
Is it true that if
you smoke your blood doesnt taste right?--Syko Morgana
i don't know... how about you don't smoke and your blood will
always taste great just in case
I ask you a question?--Syko Morgana
oh how clever
what would a tooth
brush do if you slapped its mother?--Syko Morgana
it'd spit in my face
I had this really
wierd dream of a dog been sacrificed on an altar shaped as a pentagram
with a whole lot of cats around it meowing some strange chants.
Are the Cats going to do this to humans when they take over?
some of them yes... so you better smarten up
where the fuck is
waldo,i cant find the stupid ass anywhere,first he told me he
would go to the store,and then he dissappeared.WHERE THE HELL
IS WALDO?!!!!!! jim bibble
if i told you then he'd beat me with his cane...
super heroes are
stupid, don't you think? come to think of it, they even wear their
undies after the tights! whew! who's your fav stupid super hero
Tape or glue? FartMonkey
Is it ok to get back
at my sister for messing up a program on my computer by spreading
peanut butter on a disk and sticking it in her computer? FartMonkey
it really depends on her age...
what about stripperella?
it's a huge fucking shame that stan lee did that shit.. i mean
REALLY... she is the poster girl for stupid bimbos and there he
is making a cartoon about it? come on stan... there are enough
anime's out there for kids to jerk off... how much more of a sexist
old man can he get?
Why on Earth would
someone quit their job 10 minutes before they're to start their
why would they work and THEN quit?
What is this 'math'
I hear people speak of? McDiablo
it's that thing that makes numbers dance
Should I be an English
geek again this upcoming school semester, or should I only be
half an English geek? Oh, decisions, decisions. McDiablo
oh go be a full english geek... emerald will help you with the
We was in town once,
me, maw, and fartmonkey, and we all was buyin dried corn flower
and loadin it into da wagon. Maw was standin in da street and
she done got hit by a wagon. So we had ta roll her down the hill
and dig a hole for her right in between paw and little Timmy.
Them dem doggone badgas, they came and took maw. They runned away
wit her, we don't know why. Iffin we'd a caught dem we'd a made
us some badga stew. Yessa. Where did da badgas hide maw's body??
-ferretchick and fartmonkey
they had eaten her and by making them into stew you ate her too
when someone tells
you they LOVE math and statistics, should you a)beat them to death
with a sledgehammer, b)run away screaming, or c)report them to
NASA as hostile alien life forms? - SiNiSTaR
all three... i mean... why not go the whole way to neutralize
the threat... if you don't then who knows what sort of strange
goings on would occur... how could one go on after such a letdown?
boobs or butts?
well that all depends....
why hasnt my daddy
come back from the store?he said he was just going to be gone
for ten minutes,but hes been gone for over 8 years now,ohh dc
when ever will my poor daddy get back? jim bibble
he said ten YEARS but you were just a stupid little kid so you
heard him wrong... you better smarten up before he comes back
and whips your ass because you're stupid...
Why call it "Where's
Waldo"? We all know it's called "Where's Wally".
And why does Wally have a cane if he's as mobile and able to travel
as he appears? - Mzebonga
hmmm... this wally you speak of... does he have brown pants? a
small grin? a rank odor about him? if so then he's the nasty bitch
who stole my ice cream... damned wally... hate him
of all the colors,
why are traffic lights red, green, yellow? what do you think is
the logic behind choosing those colors? leigh
well green and go both start with the same letter... stop is red
because red is the first color you notice when looking at something...
and yellow is to sybolize the sun which light the real sun, is
good but you have to be careful...
i noticed recently
that my dog has acquired a very weird welcoming behavior. she
always focus catching my hands to bite or nibble. i'm beginning
to hate her. she even sneaks at my back if i put my hands there
and it'll go on for like 10 minutes till i reach my room. how
can i make her stop? i can't even remember when it started. you
think someone is controlling my dog coz they know it'll irritate
me to the max? and when i have enough i'll leave the house and
they'll take over? what should i do? what should i do? leigh
rub your hands with something horrible... find a taste that dogs
hate and use that...
Why hasn't sarah
returned ferretchick's cobain biography? FartMonkey
GREED... pure greed... she doesn't want to share him with anyone
and is too cheap to get her own copy...
Your new banner at
the top with the city is cool...Is that somewhere significant
or is it just a random picture? FartMonkey
it's a picture jcp took while we were in ottawa from johnny poptarts
Will you make me
a sail boat?--Syko Morgana
well i'm not exactly allowed to do that sort of thing anymore
until my lawyer says it's ok
Do you like orange
sometimes yes... other times it tastes like vomit
How come it's so
fuckin hot out? can we blast the sun out of the sky?--Syko Morgana
it's not really hot over here... so you go hang out in the forest
over there and it should be even cooler there... and the planets
need the sun for a bit longer so leave it alone...
Hey man..you cool?--Syko
why yes i am
I'm still fuming
about my Cobain biography as fartmonkey has told you. I threatened
Sarah and still got no results. I want my book back. It's MINE!
What should I do? Ferretchick
go over and take it back from her... then steal something of hers
to make up for your mental anguish
Iowa is a horrid
place with corn and stupid lifeguards who care more about their
hair than saving small children (though who can blame them?) It
makes you wonder how Iowa got this way. I blame the pigeons takeover
of all major cities around the world. Soon they'll mobilize and
conquer us, making us the cats' slaves. It's all Iowa's fault.
well since the only question is 'who can blame them', then i'd
have to say that maybe the rocks would blame them, and perhaps
society in general even though it's society's fault the whole
Aunt Flo tried to
kill me yesterday. What shall I do to get my revenge? McDiablo
that's her way of showing you some affection... next time just
take the spoon and fork out of her hands and it will look more
like a hug...
Do you ever get fan
yes i do every once in awhile... sometimes it's just 'I HATE YOU
DC YOU CUM MONKEY' though... but it's the thought that counts...
What will Miss Roger's
Sweater's brother be doing in Seattle? McDiablo
trying to track down eddie vedder... don't let him deny it!
what horrible thing
do you suggest i put on my hands to keep my dog away from me?
and why the hell didnt you suggest it on your answer the last
time? i might have avoided being bitten...
so you want me to help you and then bitch that i didn't? well
FINE... i'm not telling you what to put on your hands and you
can just have smelly dog hands for all i care...
why is it that everytime
i talk to a cross-eyed person i'm the one feeling uncomfy?...i'm
not telling they should be...but why me? did you ever felt that
hmmm i don't really recall having that problem... but then i'd
just cross my eyes so that i could feel better
do you think i should
buy a different brand of phone? nokia changes models almost every
month! i think they want me broke! leigh
that's exactly their plan... that or you get more money and give
more to them... i say you ditch them or just stop getting the
do mails comes regularly
on most people? who comes and who goes? leigh
ok that doesn't even make sense
if i invite u over,
would u eat rice? leigh
sure if there isn't chicken or something sick like that in it...
if i send u postcard
who's picture you want to be in it and would you post it?
i don't care as long as it isn't someone i hate... and i just
might if i get the permission from that person
darn!...i keep forgetting
putting my name on every question...if they ever won a good question
award...i wouldnt get the credit, would i? darn!...leigh
no you wouldn't and only you would know and slowly you'd get old
and bitter because of it
have u eaten a nutricious
meal lately? leigh
why yes i had one for lunch
you wouldnt ban me
with my so many questions, would you? leigh
you're not dane are you? now THAT was a person who asked a lot
do sock monkeys have
rituals before going to sleep? leigh
sometimes we yawn... sometimes they have sex
if i dont have anymore
questions, what should i do? should i go to bed? watch tv and
see those crazy commercials? read another sidney sheldon's novel?
or retrieve the ex-bf photo's in my undies drawer and think of
the might have beens? Which do you think sucks the most? i wont
do it promise *crossing fingers*...leigh
that was a lot of questions for having no more questions... i
say burn the pictures... and just go to bed
Do you think Metallica
has the right to sue a canadian band becuase it used the E and
that would't surprise me if it were true...
If you could choose
an arse to covet as your false idol would it be: 1) J-Lo 2) Kylie
3) Ron Jeremies 4) JCP or 5) Me? - Mzebonga
well it's a toss up between you and jcp... she's way more violent
so i'll choose you... i'll be over later to covet you...
why are there so
many consonants and very few vowels?i think who ever invented
the alphabet is my ancestral enemy...they'll get even by giving
me a hard time getting high scores on word games...can u think
of other reasons why they limit the vowels to 5? leigh
so the vowels are all 'elite' and in demand... if there were more
then they wouldn't be so important
I have a strange
feeling that you name your monkeys and promote them on this site
for the sole purpose of selling them for jacked up prices on ebay.
Is this your plan?? Ferretchick
well no, as most of them are already owned... and we've only sold
one on ebay... but maybe now that you've mentioned it we'll do
that... as for your strange feeling... we have a sock monkey we
could sell you to ease it
How do cigarette
lighters REALLY work? FartMonkey
well you hold it in your hand and flick the thing and press the
other other and then there is fire...
Were you born insane?
have u been called
a devil spawn?
yes i have actually
as i am new here,
i am curious of the past questions so i read them...everytime
i accidentally highlighted the red questions they turns white
and the background turns blue? is red actually white and black
is blue? are my eyes safe here? i hope...leigh
yes your eyes are safe here... except for the whole 'going blind'
thing if you stop... but then you deserve it
if u go on a vacation,
who's in-charge of answering the questions? do you take long vacations?
if so, can you inform me? i wont ask while your away...who knows
what answers i'll get...leigh
if i go on vacation i will post it up here so that you all know...
depending on where i go i can usually update the questions as
usual... i don't take long vacations... usually just weekend trips
to see poptart in ottawa or camping
some sock monkey
stole my heart...will you get it back to me? leigh
are you sure it was your heart? maybe it was just your sandwich...
it's ok.. i get them confused too
why is it that when
we think of something and yet we cannot say it or express it in
words...we use the phrase ' it's at the tip of my tongue'? is
saliva a product of our thinking then? and when we finally voiced
out what we really meant to say, does that mean the saliva lubricates
our voice cords to produce sound too? hmmmm....leigh
yes... didn't you know? and if it's on the tip of your tongue
and you accidently bite it off, then everything will just fall
out of your mouth...
when a child ask
his/her parents one single question for endless time, answers
keeps coming the same length...but when he's grown up and the
parents ask a single question it never reaches three and he's
gone...is there a logic to this? leigh
answers keeps coming the same length? i'm not sure what you mean
by that... so i can't answer the rest... please hang up and try
your call again
are you aware that
on your page twenty three (past questions) nobody got a good question
award? how can you be so heartless? you could have at least...hmm
never mind...i really don't care...leigh
don't blame ME for lousy questions... that up to YOU PEOPLE
do you know that
'AHOY! AHOY! was the first word used before the 'HELLO' as the
default greeting when answering the phone? Can you imagine yourself
saying 'Ahoy! Ahoy!' on your next phone call? leigh
yes i did know that which makes it funny when mr burns does it
on the simpsons when homer has that telemarketing thing going
i have nothing to
do so i ask so many questions...i asked u the last time if you'll
ban me but you evaded by answering something 'bout dane (who i
just confrimed really is a question freak)...could it be possible
that we might be related? i mean, i have some manifestations...how
many questions have i given u this time? leigh
perhaps you are related... and you've given me a lot of questions
you'll have agood
sleep, yes? leigh
is it possible for
your eyeballs to get so dry that they pop out of the fucking sockets?
yes... so be careful
Why do some drunk
girls want to drink pussy juice before agreeing to go home? -
well i'm not sure... drunk people don't really make any sense
please can u help
me get a girlfriend as im so hidious evan my mam vomits when she
sees me eating out of the dustbin
how about working on you showering... you know, that sort of thing...
and buying some dishes to eat off
dc i love a guy but
i told him i love him when i was drunk kind of like i am now ehat
shoulf i do, do you thik he bkleibveves me or not> and why
do i always go for guys awhol dont lik eme
you go for them because you're a dumbass... so smarten up and
learn to at least TRY to type coherently
What would you do
if you had X-ray vision? McDiablo
i'd look into the valley of the kings and find some hidden tombs
What movie have you
seen this year that you didn't enjoy that much? McDiablo
Have you ever been
called a fish? McDiablo
not that i'm aware of but maybe behind my back...
Why is that strange
man trying to turn my little brother into a homicidal maniac?
I mean, giving little kids swords is a bad, bad thing. -Ferretchick
well it's better then a lot of things you could give them... like
diseases and such...
I'm gonna have to
see the kid in the pink shirt soon. How many ways do you think
I can kill him? Can you describe these methods? -Ferretchick
it's best to just go with the simple and quickest ways... and
always make it look like an accident
Catholic schools seem to be a breeding place for STDs. Is this
because of their raging hormones or simply because they're stupid?
both... and a large part because the people in charge there are
stupid enough to ignore that something needs to be done... i don't
know about where you live but here the skirts on the chicks are
pretty much non-existant and somehow that's ok with the schools...
Can I take 10% of
the profits when you sell your sock monkeys on Ebay because I
gave you the idea? -Ferretchick
hell no... we don't make a lot on them anyways... a few bucks
at best... we don't believe in marking them up insanely... the
rest of the money goes to my mom cuz she is the one who makes
them and does all the work...
Did you get my story?
Here's a question: 3ft wrench or iron pipe? I ask because I thought
you'd like to choose what I blugeon you with if you lose it this
time... - Mzebonga
yes i did get it and i'd like the iron pipe... it makes a nicer
sound when embedding itself into my skull
What's with calling
yourself DCian (Dee Seean) when you started on this site? It's
a lot like Cyan... It's very strange and you know what a conspirational
mind I have... - Mzebonga
well i am DC... but the religion article i wrote was the DCian
following... playing off of xian... which is short for chrisitan..
they hate it when you 'cross out' the christ with an x or something
I will be camping
for ten days with my family. What must I do to avoid going insane
and eating my head? McDiablo
start off with eating any strange plants you find... that should
kill some time... maybe you so be careful to some extent... i'm
sure miss rogers sweater would weep over your empty car seat on
slurpee runs if you died
Why don't certain
people put things back where they got them from? McDiablo
those certian people are doing it to annoy you
If you could go anywhere
in the world right now, where would you go? McDiablo
i'd go to china... wander around and see all the ancient sites
they have... beyond that... i'd go see the rest of canada
hey your fake advertisments
now i'm crying... oh wait... no i'm not
What was it I ate
from boston market that caused all this unpleasantness? FartMonkey
it was the bread with that weird stuff in it... i told you not
to eat it...
If you found a set
of raspberry bushes and you began to eat the raspberries, and
was then attacked by a bear, would you throw the raspberries in
your hand into the face of the bear, or would you eat them, for
they may be the last thing you eat?~~TL-34
well i'm not a huge fan of raspberries due to the little seeds....
so i'd throw them at the bear... roar at him... then we'd laugh
and we'd frolic in the raspberry fields forever...
what type of motor
oil best serves your need is the cold canadian abyss?``TL-34
well i'm in southern ontario and not in the 'cold canadian abyss'...
so i just use the normal stuff that the truck tells me to get...
when i do visit the abyss, i'll be sure to find out what they
Have you ever watched
Strange Brew? if so, does it give a vivid potrait of some Canadians?``TL-34
no i don't find that sorta stuff funny... and no... not for the
how much money would
i get to send to you if u let me come and live in your attic?
pleeeeeease? irish psycho
well i don't have an attic... but you can still send me money
hello DC, missed
me? carrot jiuce? leigh
well i'm kinda ill at the moment and the only thing i miss is
my health... as for carrot juice... that doesn't help
any weirdos 'round
your place yet? if u see them, just send them home and tell them
i'm in no mood to pester you anymore...wait... can you print this
one?...this might help you pursuade them...sorry man...*****leigh
yes there is a weirdo around here... poptart is back in town and
i'm sure he'll be around later when i'm no longer ill
if wind chime drives
away bad spirits, how come my sister still with me? leigh
wind chimes summon evil noise making spirits... so get rid of
all wind chimes
How can you tell
if somebodys a which? -JellyFishToast
you ask them... which witch is which
When did you lose
you virginity? -JellyFishToast
when i had sex for the first time... i was 16
Cotton candy or Popsicles
popsicles.... cotton candy is sick...
what do jelly beans
do when people aren't eating them?--Syko Morgana
dance... dance... dance... sing... dance... dance...
DO you have/want
any tattoos?--Syko Morgana
i'd love some tattoos... some black tribal designs... but i don't
How can i stop myself
from biting off pieces of my cheek and nibbling on it? its a terrible
i'm not sure... i do that myself sometimes... it's just one of
those things i guess... one day you'll bite a hole through it
and then maybe you'll stop for awhile
Are you comparing
yourself to Christ? - Mzebonga
are you saying i don't exist? i'm sick of these wild accusations....
Would you care to
explain the rules of the "AskDC" section for the benefit
of those who don't respect your authority or rules of any kind?
well basically the rules are listed and if they get broken i delete
the question... then i go to their house if i have time and beat
them with their keyboard... i think that's pretty simple to understand...
would you please
describe in extreme detail how you would make love to the one
you love most?
i told you... you will have to pay me to have cyber sex with you
when u die, would
you like your body to be preserved or just the tail? leigh
well when i die i'm dead so i don't care what happens... if someone
wants to use my dead carcass to get off on, then so be it... i'll
be dead so i won't care
So I was at the pub
last night with my friends when one of them dared me to burn my
hand with a cigarette. I replied out so loud that EVERYBODY heard
me, "Sure! I will burn my hand with a cigaretted! But if
I do, I get to shove 3 Church candles up your arse at once and
light them at the ends!" He agreed, thinking I was joking.
To the horror of everyone, especially my betting friend, I burnt
my hand with a cigarette. Now which church should I take him to,
Catholic or Orthodox?
catholic... of course... and bravo to you for going through with
it... it's sad when people don't stay true to their word
When will my teeth
stop hurting? And my headache go away? And the birdies fall from
their nest? FartMonkey
later on once the drugs kick in you'll be fine... and those aren't
DC it is i db.i have once again decided to grace your "unique"
site with my presence, name, and trademark. its been awhile hasnt
it? beside the point. upon returning to this site i am sadden
to find that most questions asked to you lack the finness from
back in the days of yore. most questions, i belive, lack the intellect,
creativeness, and/or well rounded damb good humor to entertain
me, much less you. and when i fail to be amused people suffer,as
much is the case with you i belive. so i must implore, why countinue
with your task, answering the foolish questions poeple ask? why
not cease now, now and for evermore? dreadfuly your fellow demon,
welcome back... i had indeed wondered where you had run off to...
yes the questions get shorter and more frequent... i guess i keep
going because i know there are good quesitons out there... somewhere...
somewhere? i've given you one... that counts... even if it is
more of a 'welcome back' then a good question... but it counts
how do i get even
with dennis the menace across the street without him knowing it?
well first of all...that's just a cartoon... i say rip it out
of the newspaper and burn it... then you'll never have to read
it's stupidity again...
if there's a harem
(full of beautiful women of course) at you disposal for a whole
day, what are the things you'll gonna do? leigh
you just want me to provide you with masterbation material don't
someone told be that
if u dont wanna cry just do a hand stand. do u think its effective?
at a funeral... no
My friend hacked
my sn, on a scale of one to ten how angry should i be? -Ferretchick
9 ... now go kick their ass
Is there a law that
guys have to be jerks? -Ferretchick
you would think so but no... just like there is no real law that
chicks have to bitches... yet so many are
How many socks does
it take to make a sock monkey? Do the socks have to be different
colors? Have you ever made a sock monkey? If so, how many? -Ferretchick
two... they should be the same color... and i've helped stuff
a few but that's about it...
So if dad says no
and mom says yes, who do you think I should listen to? -Ferretchick
the one that gave you the answer you wanted
Do hackers usually
target small and insignificant sites to steal credit card numbers
i'd say they target the medium sized sites to gather the numbers...
that way the company is large enough to have online credit card
processing... but not large enough to afford to have someone who
knows security well enough to keep them protected...
it's 12:30. i'm bored
as hell and there's a dog pissing on the bushes outsside...can
i kill the dog? irish psycho
no... but you could piss on the bushes too... that would be fun..
go on... even just imagining doing it is fun...
what have you got
to say for u2? irish psycho (if u say they suck i'll come kick
i'm not a fan but they're not the worst band on the planet
shud i go to bed?
preferably with a monkey? irish psycho
yes you should... now get to it
at the top, what
city is that? irish psycho
i wish for u to kill
sanimal...or at least make his q&a's easier to find.......please?
i can do the first but i don't understand the second request...
why should i make his stupid answers easier to find? as if anyone
reads them ...
how do i get rid
of a hicky or at least make it less noticiable??
no idea... i guess that will teach you....
Dc, I believe your
giving a good question award has a bad effect. How conceited some
people become. Didnít even enter his or her minds that nobodyís
entertaining anybody. I mean, if I ask a question thatís for my
own satisfaction right? I donít give a damn with others! *****leigh
great.. i'll make a note to never give you one...
ofc course you wont
do hand stand in a funeral especially when its a dead exhibitionist
or something, people will think ur possessed... besides one wrong
move and you'll be next...i asked you on a normal circumstance(is
there one in crying?)...anyway never mind...and as for the harem,
no i'm not asking for a mastubation material...actually i just
wonder if you'll say ' i'll have sex to last me a lifetime'...bad
eh? p.s. in case u dont know i think most of us anticipate ur
answers...too bad for me though*****leigh
i'm not sure what the question is in there... and nowhere have
i said that i'd give proper answers...
Well, you're uninspired
by the lack of quality questions that people come up with nowadays
but fresh and new ideas such as that are powered by people with
new and exciting ideas. I've expended many of my ideas and I'm,
frankly, too jaded to find anything remotely funny anymore - perhaps
passingly amusing but not funny. So, I'm going to ask you, why
is everything so monotonous and boring? Why is everything so old
and tired? Where is the lust for life that I'm owed? Where's the
pot at the end of the flacid rainbow? - Mzebonga
it's like we were seperated at birth... wait a minute... pot at
the end of the rainbow? that's way better then gold...
Can I pickle fuck
you in the ass? LubisKo
sure... just let me finish my root beer...
Would you list 10
things that you really hate? LubsiKo
1 stupid people 2 screaming children 3 turnip 4 email spam 5 popups
6 commercials 7 reality shows 8 earwigs 9 the color pink 10 felt
Have you ever tail
fucked your sister? LubisKo
i don't have a sister so no
If Tommy has 3 oranges
and Billy has 5 apples then why the fuck dont they just shut up
and eat their god damn fruit? LubsiKo
kids are like that... which is partly why they suck so much...
thought that i would open a resteraunt that served the same food
as IHOP and that looked like IHOP, but instead call it MEBOUNCE,
is that a good idea? LubisKo
it's a good idea of people go in there to choke and die so i don't
have to hear about ihop anymore
say the world has
no inhibitions, no censorships, etc., would you join a nudist
relay? (yeah it has to be a relay...dont ask why man...just do
no... stepping on my tail as i ran wouldn't be an enjoyable thing...
ever heard of sock
monkey used as voodoo doll? how would u feel about this?***leigh
that all depends on where you stick the needles...
is instant coffee
ok with sock monkeeees? i would serve them brewed only the machine
is blasted at the moment. would they demand a doughnut? hmm...i
wonder how would it cost me to hire two of them to clean my roof?***leigh
monkeys don't clean roofs... so just give them the coffee....
where exactly is
the twillight zone? leigh
it's in that floaty place above your bed...
dc, please describe
a wild, wilder, wildest scream...oh shocks i forgot...do i have
to go back to make it a question?***leigh
why yes you do... are you asking me to provide you with masterbation
fall just god putting a old blanket over the earth and stars just
light comeing for holes in it
no... you may find this hard to believe but the ground you stand
on is actually the top of a large planet which orbits around the
sun (a star actually) and as it goes around the sun, it's also
spinning around... and as it spins it faces away from the sun
for awhile which makes it dark out... or 'night'... next time
someone tells you a fairytale, don't take it seriously... and
you tell that person they're a lying sack of shit for telling
you such nonsense...
you can assist me in reaching the answer that i seek. whats up
with my constant obssesion with touching my bear nipples in public?
its not that i dont enjoy it, in fact its quite soothing. but
this subconcious habit of mine has cost me my glorious job at
the local chuck e. chesse, (i shall forever remember the horrified
grease ladden faces of the little children for they shall forever
remember me and my nipples) the respect of my family and peers,
and my membership to blockbuster. ive also been the subject of
several interventions. so i ask you once again if you have any
insight as to why i countinue to fondle myself and am i wrong
for doing so?-- db"_"
well it seems that you derive great pleasure from doing that...
i say you invent a machine that you can strap to your nipples
and have them rub your nipples under your shirt... that way your
hands are free to function normally... and no one is wise to the
fact that your nipples are being aroused... find a desk job where
you can just sit and enjoy your new machine while typing...
sup dc, i will keep
my question short and sweet. i often see things as if i am walking
around my house when i am actually not moving at all. what could
cause this to happen?
well it might be the LSD... or it could be the carbon dioxide
that's filling your place even as you read these answers... either
way... i think you'll find this site gets funnier and funnier
until you just pass out onto the floor...
with number 42 that both u n SAnimal answered as the meaning of
read hitch hikers guide to the galaxy by douglas adams and you'll
find out why it's the answer
just been reading SAnimal's past q&a...poor guy most of the
question's about you...i wonder how he really feels about it...i
could ask but then again i'll add up to the list...but personally
i think he's great...i like his rants...he has some sense...actually
he has a lot of sense...if not on the verge of bitterness..i like
yours too otherwise i wont keep coming back here as often...***leigh
ok class... what is leighs question here missing...
it's not a question
that's right... now come here and let me rub your tail...
if i bust a load
of acid super mighty spider daredevil jizz in your eyes, will
you go blind? - T-Bonez
i'm thinking the answer is yes... but just in case... i'm going
to say no
How long do you reckon
it hurts before you die when you get your head chopped off? FartMonkey
a few seconds maybe... no more then 5 minutes
why is my sister
being such a fucking bitch? - SiNiSTaR
well some people are good at that sort of thing...
This stupid floor
lamp won't fit anywhere! Should I mangle it or get rid of it?
why do both of course!