Who gives a shit? - Mzebonga
all the who's in whooville give a shit... go over there and they'll give you a hug

what the hell? my stomach is upset... why? - Miss Roger's Sweater
you've eaten nothing but slurpees and cookies for the last 4 years... what did you expect?

i have to break it to my guitar teacher today that i can't go to my lesson next week cuz i have to write an exam... is he going to cry? - Miss Roger's Sweater
he will but not in front of you and then he'll write a little song about it while you're off writing the exam

i know i have to practice guitar but can i take a nap first? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes you may... only play guitar when you're well rested or spun from slurpees

How much was my term paper out of? my teacher never told us, but i got 20 on it. is that good or bad? he wrote that overall it was good.. but i am still confused.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
i'd ask him to clarify and maybe you'll get extra marks

When i was 'released' from the sanitarium the other day i stumbled across a small dog playing with a child, i was very curious to find that the child was really an approaching double-decker bus, and that the small dog was my two last cups of tea, do you think the bus hit me, or is it just my medication? CrAzY mOnGoOsE
it was a bit of both... but let's face it... that dog was really just some bars over the window

So, we read this book in my English class and it involved people getting, I guess, possessed by a sheep. The sheep controlled them into doing things (like becoming leaders for powerful organizations) and then, when it doesn't need to use the 'host' anymore, leaves it. The host ends up getting a blood cyst and then they die from it. Is it okay for me to be a little scared of sheep now? McDiablo
yes it is... though to be safe, you should feer horses as well... they al work together..

What is the point of going to a post-secondary institution? Is there a point at all, or are a majority of us just wasting our time and money? McDiablo
the majority are wasting their time and money... well ok their parents time and money... so if you do go then make sure you want to go to learn...

My friend has studied for her exams for five hours straight. I am amazed. How do you feel about this? McDiablo
i feel confused... kinda sore... sleepy... maybe a bit angry

i havn't been here a lot. it's cuz of my fucked up computer. i think i will send it to you to kill for me. if you do will you send it back to me so i can soak it in acid and then burn it? thanx irish psycho
yes... but i may be able to fix it... i'll let you know how it turns out

do you like to give out good question awards? i think you would seeing as you give it to people who ask about non-shitty things...and you like hearing about non-shitty things...right? am i making any sense here? irish psycho
for once you're making a shred of sense... and no sometimes i don't want to give them out... but have to force myself... other times i'd love to give them out.. sometimes the award and i don't agree so we argue until we're no longer speaking and then we just ignore each other for about a week...and other times i am just damned lazy...

i'm leaving and going far away. do you want to come with? irish psycho
that all depends on where you're going... why and who else will be there...

do you like drugs? do you do drugs regularly? please don't take offense, i'm honestly wondering if you do... irish psycho
some drugs are good... i had a headache the other day and some acetaminophen helped out... as for other drugs... i'm the type that doesn't like the idea of popping pills that some doctors like to hand out like candy... other then that i'm pretty much against putting man-made chemicals into myself that aren't needed... except caffeine... caffeine is good... especially with that green stuff i found in the garden...

have you ever experimented in sleep deprevation? it's fun to stay up all night and then eat as much sugar as possible so that ur basically running on E...i do that as often as i can so i drive everyone insane.....just like me..... irish psycho
experimented in it voluntarily? no... but my body enjoyed doing this on it's own so no sugar was needed...

is it ok to be of an average age(say 13-15) and physically damage yourself on a regular basis? i like blood.. irish psych
it's not ok but it seems to be the trend... somehow this and starvation became really cool... blood is always fun though...

why does life love to suck for me? irish psycho
it sucks for everyone at some point in time or another...

I got a new saying from somebody today: "Of all the things I ever lost, I miss my mind the most" Does this saying fit me? or you?
i didn't lose it... its still here and i use it daily... it's everyone else who have lost theirs... they've handed it over to the tv so they never have to use it again

What is the point of car racing ? There's alot of cars and they all go fast like WHOOSH! They all go in a circle, the most incomplicated shape, and maybe sometimes spin or crash. After about doing this about 500 times, they all stop and the one in front is suddenly a god. Please explain the point of this and why is it that only people in Nashville or people who orginate from Nashiville watch it ? -NNY
they aren't a 'god' and hey... why not? and lots of people watch it... i'm not a huge fan of it... but i don't see any great harm in it... baseball disturbs me though...

ever ate a shurken head? --Syko Morgana
no... just the full sized ones

man listen to this! i was taking my cat out for a walk, well more like a drive..I like to put her in my little basket in the front of my bike, and ride around and so okay, she turns to me and says "yucky it smells like cow poo" so I said "okay little baby well turn around" so whats the moral of the story??--Syko Morgana
there is no moral... though it is good to see you have an open relationship with your cat where you can share your thoughts with each other...

Did you know that in the time it takes you to read this your nail grows .00025 inches?--Syko Morgana
i can feel it... yea... yea..... that feels gooooood.....

Which would you rather have at a cocktail party, eyeballs or peeled grapes?
why can't i have both? what the hell kind of cocktail party is this... haha.. you said cocktail.... and then i said it...

There are triangles everywhere...everywhere I tell you. Why can't people use squares or circles or octogons for goodness sakes?! Why must these triangles forever haunt me with their architectural strength?!
why are you so anti-triangle?

What separates the geniuses who can't dress themselves in the morning from the insane nextdoor neighbor who talks to his garden gnomes?
a fence... some trees... some cars... 3 miles and a brick wall

Do you ever look at these questions and say to yourself, "If they didn't come to me to answer their pathetic questions they'd just wind up in on anti-psychotic drugs and I'd never get to see this side of weird. Still, I don't understand why they won't stop bringing up photosythesis. Were some of these people plants in their past lives and need to know if they're a full sun or part shade kind of former plant?"
yes i do ... in fact i have sketches... models and graphs to show how much thought i've put into this... i'm planning on touring with this to schools around the globe...

As a native of Gibberania I don't appreciate your discrimination against my native tongue, Gibberish. Why only prohibit Gibberish? Why not Gobbledegook, or any other Nonsense Language?
i've told you people before... i can't speak many languages... it's sad i know... but i just don't have people around to teach me them all... you don't have to rub it in and make fun of me... just because you're all multilingual...

Which is scarier, people who bronze their pets or people who would clone their pets? (Though being dead or alive is a bit of a variable...)
i think the people who get them stuffed and then pretend they are still alive are the scariest

If you ignore your homework will it go away?
no it won't... in fact it will breed and become more

Why do you whore yourself as a cheap distraction? Flashy colors and free sock monkey porn. Damn, I admire you.
why thank you... i do it for you... my fans

is McDiablo having fun writing her canadian lit final right now? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i doubt it... but when you wrote the question she might have been... unless this is all a hoax... which is probably what this is... as if that bullet could take all those people out...

If you woke up tomorrow morning and your pets could talk to you, what would they say?
i think ana would say 'hey... i'd like some food NOW'

my brother stole my 9V battery out of my tuner a while ago.. can i kick him? since i need to tune my guitar so i can practice for my audition.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes you can kick him...

Have you ever hit the road then been called a bully for it?
no but it did get up and kick my ass so i've never done it again

If kids were given cheerleaders to help inspire them for their homework do you think it would improve test scores?
i think the scores would drop... all those fake smiles and flinging themselves around is very annoying

the other night, I was out enjoyin the lovely rain in the evening. On my way home, I had to cross the railroad tracksa, but there was a stupid train. it would go to the left, then to the right. It did this for several minutes and really made me mad. do you have any tips on how to hijack that damn train if it happens again? Then I could cause it to derail or something.--InsaneLane
if you would just pay attention to the damned schedules and plan your trips a bit better it wouldn't happen

today, I jumped from a moving vehicle. I scraped my arm up a bit. do you think that was insane or stupid or insanely-stupid?--InsaneLane
none of the above... so you jumped and you got a bit scraped up... whats the big deal?

If I throw a water balloon at you will you hit me with a sock monkey?
i'll hit you with a power cord until it's not fun anymore

Do you like Tool?
no

Is that icon of Ana?--Syko Morgana
no it's not... it's just a random cat image... ana is a tabby cat... not a siamese

why did Aristotle have such a low opinion of women??? - SiNiSTaR
no idea... at least none that i'm willing to tell you about...

why is it that in the dark ages when men used to blame the sex of the child entirely on women, they also took full credit for their sperm being the "seed" or complete kid, and the woman was just the sowing ground? don't those two views contradict each other? bastards!!!! - SiNiSTaR
those views are horrid... they are bastards!

i'm a single girl again. as of today. yay!! anyone you can hook me up with? - SiNiSTaR
damnit this isn't a dating board... when will you people learn that there is more to life then sexual relationships? turn off your tv and use your head so you're complete with or without some other idiot...

I'm feeling cold. Could it possibly be due to the fact that my hair is wet? McDiablo
yes... yes it is...

How come my printer makes weird/annoying noises before it actually starts printing anything? McDiablo
its thinking about how great of a job its going do for you

Will I ever have A. Valleau again as an instructor? (You like how I didn't use his first name? I don't know why I did that. Protecting the innocent? Maybe.) McDiablo
maybe you will... then again it could just be a 'one season' appearance for A. Valleau

Tell me the truth! Is it how I remember it, or how he's telling me? Am I remembering it wrong? Is he a liar? Is he remembering it wrong? Human senses and memory suck! - Omuletzu
yes they do but that's what happens when you get drunk

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
sure why not

What is the fear of feet?
footfear

2 monkeys have been having sex in my bed for the last week. they're not sock monkeys though and they're really messy with their bodily fluids. theres stuff going every where. why can't they fucking aim?!?!?i don't mind it when i go to sleep though it's like the bed is shaking....... irish psycho
well you just have to put up with it until they're sick of the place...

hows life? my birthday is in 9 days. how sweet is that? irish psycho
fine i suppose and uh... yea... real sweet... for you

do you agree that walking on the beach listening to loud angry music is enough to live a happy life? thats what keeps my ass living..... irish psycho
yes without the beach thing

a friend of mine was trying to convince me of God's existence and he asked me what i believed in. i told him that i believed in french fries....(now liberty fries) was i being cruel? i feel bad, he was doing a good job of convincing me but i still don't believe in God. should i apologize? irish psycho
no they AREN'T liberty fries... they are FRENCH fries... and no.. you are allowed to believe what you want... oh wait... unless you live in the US

How fattening is popcorn anyway? - Omuletzu
no one cares

I know I could get slapped for this, but... When are you going to update the Q'n'A archive? - Omuletzu
how do you mean? it is updated?

This life is full of compromise! (Did I rant/ask about this before? See, that's why you should update the archive and add a search function! <slaps himself>) What can save me from this? Can I change myself so I don't give a fuck (not a single fuck, not a single solitary fuck...)? Ah, forget about it! I'm not smart enough to figure out what I want to know and I'm sure you wouln't answer right even if I was. - Omuletzu
damnit no search cuz then i'd have to datadrive this and i'm too lazy to put it in a database... and uh... what?

are my new nylon guitar strings going to cost more than 30 bucks? it's going to break my bank account. - Miss Roger's Sweater
they might... i'd suggest stealing some money from mcdiablos 'secret hiding place' like the rest of us do

i told my mom that she's weird and she agreed.. that's weird right? she's not suppose to do that.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
she is weird... so love her and be nice already or she'll take your sweater away

i want to win on the safeway bingo. i'm not going to am i? am i just wasting all my money on yummy swiss rolls for nothing? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes you are actually... sorry...

i think that Conan O'Brien is pretty darn cool. What do you think about him? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i think that any time i have seen him he has not been funny

I hate it! I hate the way people always make things look better than they really are! All the CVs sound so great! Every person looking for a job is determined, hard-working, has great communication skills, etc, etc, etc... We're all perfect! Then you take a look at that Big Brother monstrosity... or someone just tells you how it is. It changes the whole perspective. Makes you wonder if you're like that or how can you live with people like that. Everyone has a hidden agenda! Why? - Omuletzu
people suck... tv sucks... people believe the tv and then try to be like the tv and then everything sucks more and everyone is unhappy but can't figure out why

do you believe in the easter bunny, or do you just like chocolate? the same with santa and presents? Dr. Satan
no and no... and yes it's the same with them... most people don't know what to get me and getting shitty stuff sucks more then getting nothing at all

Ahh.. Not been on here for yonks (technical term). Oh, I've missed this little place. Your insane stories. The porn. The questions. The giant fly-elephant-coffe-mug hybrid out on the lawn. Hmm. Have you seen my knee caps? - Fido Dido
i thought i saw one of them... but then everything got fuzzy and i had to pet it all and got distracted

Have you see Pi? It's by the same director as Requiem for a Dream, which I agree rocks muchly. As does Akira. My friend is supposed to coming over and making me watch Fight Club sometime, and I've seen the website for Donny Darko.. Insane. Have you seen Ringu (The original Japanese version of The Ring)? Because that film is amazing. Also.. Have you heard of the distraction Ninjas? 'Cos they're behind you right now... - Fido Dido
no i haven't yet but it's on the top of my list to see... requiem and akira were wicked... and no i haven't seen ringu... and damnit... i fell for that ninja thing again... i've got to get some of those

who exactly is Ver? JCP's boyfriend...husband...? - Moi
her husband

can i lick you? will you lick me? please? irish psycho
yes... no... no...

have you seen any of the austin powers movies and if you did did you like them? irish psycho
yes i have and some parts are quite funny... i'm very disappointed he put that idiot spears in one though... that was horrid...

why do i always have to fart during sex? -mooma
well either you're eating too many gassy foods or you just get so relaxed that you fart

there was an old man who came to my door the other day and he asked me if i knew where jesus was. i was freaked out because i didnt know the old man and i had never heard of this jesus character. he continued and told me jesus was inside of me, i quickly slammed the door and took a laxative. jesus came out allright....covered in all my sin. -Umberto
where is the question in this? that's right... there is no question... you suck

don't you want a naked mole rat? Does a naked mole rat want you? admit that you've eaten a naked mole rat before huh?--Syko Morgana
no... maybe... and no

why dont some bikes get used often?--Syko Morgana
some bikes suck and other bikes are just too good to be sat on... some are just cleverly disguised macaroni

Why do peoole have do die?
it would sure suck if they didn't... not only would the planet fill up, but everyone would get real bored after a few hundred years

I have been so busy lately, but now that busyness has subsided a bit. What should I do with all my spare time? McDiablo
grow things... paint... do a few jigs... maybe build a slurpee shrine... make up flyers to promote this website...

Does Dave Letterman really write the top ten list? McDiablo
no he has highly paid people to do that for him

I went to bed at 3am last night and I woke up six hours later. I am not the least bit tired. What's going on here? Is my biological clock out of whack again? McDiablo
yes it is and it will mess you up until you beg for mercy

when i woke up this morning my cowlick was all weird and i thought i had a comb over.. should i shave my head to save myself from further scariness? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no... talk to it... it's there for a reason...

why is my friend ck so giddy? should i sedate her? - Miss Roger's Sweater.
i say you take the sugar away and as long as she's not pissing her pants then things should be ok

can you please tell me 'what's he building in there?' cuz i need to know.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
a platform for all the bunnies to perform their version of 'phantom of the opera' on

I got a 912 scam letter in my mail box today, don't you wish these letters were not scams and they were for real? If it was for real, would like to share the US$15,000,000 they offered?
yes i would like to share it... that would be great

look at the light...its soooo bright! and the ceiling, it's is soooooooooo white!!!the walls are so green. <smash> i don't think the wall is supposed to bend that way....is the wall supposed to bend that way?? irish psycho
mine does... i screamed at it that one day until it bent and now there it is... bent

so at this point in time are you horny?
not really no... but now that you've asked... no...

Hi DC it is I, Dane. I haven't been to your site in ages. I had a look at the newst Q&A, and the questions are a little boring from what they use to be. I think people are slowly getting more dumb as time goes on. Have you noticed this? - dane
hi dane... it is me DC... welcome back... and i've noticed a few things... i wrote them down somewhere but i've forgotten where... i'll get back to you

What do people mean when they say "dont have a cow"??--Syko Morgana
it means that you are not to go out and buy a cow... they are expensive and take a lot of time and land to raise properly

Can you tell my future?--Syko Morgana
yes... <points and laughs>

Can you dance to country music when you're drunk on rum?--Syko Morgana
no... my body refuses no matter what i've done to it... and i'm glad

How long does it take to run around the whole planet?How long does it take to run around you?--Syko Morgana
about an hour

Most of the time, when i click on the 'ask a question' link, i have no idea what I'm going to ask. What do you think about that, huh? - SiNiSTaR
i'm a bit surprised... slightly confused... barely aroused... feeling kinda warm...

How do tourists gain meaning from a place? (this is an asignment question--please help) - SiNiSTaR
they feel like they've participated in something ... and it's a memory that stands out from the rest of their meaningless boring lives... they're somewhere that is different then normal so maybe they can think and feel something different then normal...

what is it with you?? - SiNiSTaR
it's the tail

There's an ant crawling on my face, what should i do? - SiNiSTaR
eat it... once it's on your face it's fair game

if YOU got an omelet that looked like saddam's face,would you eat it anyway? - SiNiSTaR
an omelet is an omelet

people who enjoy watching wrestling are ...? - SiNiSTaR
stupid if they like that fake bullshit soap opera garbage wrestling

I am Eva Psychotic, Ahoy. I wonder, where have all the insane bisexual girls gone? I can't find what can't be found. Also,(feel free to answer but one of these Questions, as you feel,) Why are all my friends either so Dumb i can't talk about what i want or so introverted that i can't take them in public?
i'm not sure where those girls are... when i find out, i will let you know... and the public sucks so just hang outside somewhere... ditch the dumb ones

Do monkeys crow at midnight?--Syko Morgana
some do

did syko morgana play the dead girl at the freak show?--Syko Morgana
twice

Well I'm back...did you miss me? FartMonkey
only if you brought me something back that doesn't itch and burn for a week

If I sent you a bunch of empty water bottles and some whistles, what would you do with them? FartMonkey
cry

What'd you get for number 37? FartMonkey
two pieces of fish and some orange juice

I found this question in a book (which I agree with) that I thought perhaps you would be able to answer: How come it's acceptable to write "spilt"? How come we can't say "I was thrilt when the service station attendant filt my car up with gasoline?" FartMonkey
english is fucked up... that's why

If i was travaling the speed of light in my car and turned on the headlights. What would happen?
everything in the universe would ceast to exist and then the teletubbies would exist again and things would suck more

If Adam and Eve were the first people on earht...did they have navels?
yes... and wings and an extra leg and some spiky hair and anything else you want...

If e'er there dwelt an age eternal since one sudden shining moment of power and grace doth deign to tread light upon this earth of miracle false and happiness drained of meaning and livelihood, then that pitch-filled aeon when souls are awash with the multitudinous seas incarnadine doth manifest itself in the time which tears at us now. Why, oh why, in our moment of despair, doth the brave new world of Miranda's fevered imagining deign to reign a welter of cruel blows upon us? - Fish
damnit fish... you swam all the way over here to come up with that? have they been feeding you third-rate fish food again??? those bastards!

eva P. here, thank you for your advice, the rocks make much better conversation than my former groupings. My Question: What is done with the surveys? Do you read them just for kicks, or is that some sort of canadian IQ (or citizenship) test? By the way, i've enjoyed your site content for many years, keep up the socking around.
we put the answers up, give awards and make fun of you... and thanks

So....if those monkeys were at YOUR door and YOU were out of coffee, what would YOU do? FartMonkey
scream... cry... scream some more... take off my pants

Does InsaneLane have an evil twin named SaneLane? FartMonkey
i think it's a distant cousin...

Why do I act all weird during an important hockey game? McDiablo
i think it's the excitement and the face paint

I've eaten so much junk food tonight. I'm going to be sick, aren't I? McDiablo
yes.... twice

Besides doughnuts and coffee, what is your favourite item from Tim Hortons? McDiablo
i don't really like the doughnuts... and well i guess i like their uh... well sometimes their garden salad isn't too horrid... but other then that... i'm just there for the coffee

Hmm.. I thought I had told you what I thought about your t-shirt ideas..? Mayhaps I just dreamed that or something. Anyways, I shall do so presently. - Fido Dido
i think you were dreaming about me again... and i told you that sometimes it's not real...

How did JK whoever she is get away with stealing every little detail of Harry Potter from Lord of the Rings? FartMonkey
she didn't... anyone who has read both will know this to be true... they are different... just because they both have magic and wizards does NOT make them the same or make her stealing...

Wow, it's been awhile since I've been here. What in the hell happened to your capitalization/punctuation, DC?! The world has truly gone mad. I think I will now go slaughter a midget to try to once again appease the gods and make things right again. - Jaded Kitten
well i ran away from microsoft front page to macromedia dreamweaver and it doesn't do that little underliny thing on bad grammar or spelling mistakes so yea i'm lazy and just gave up

happy birthday to me. how old have i turned? irish psycho
this is one of those trick questions... i can feel it... how come i don't have any distraction ninjas to ease this moment?

if both guys and girls suck than its impossible to get a good question award when you ask about something that has a gender. right? irish psycho
no... that'd be too easy...

i have to go back to school tomorrow. does that suck? (i'm sorta scaring myself, i think i'm looking forward to it.......) iirish psycho
yes it does in some ways... but it does keep you off the streets which is good

what the hell is mr bungle? irish psycho
it's a band that changes completely with every album but i like them

you ask for insane questions but if they were insane how would you understrand them? irish psycho
i don't ask for them... just give you a form to send them in...

don't you think that people who say they can tell whether a girl is a virgin or not by just looking at the way she walks are just a bunch of steaming piles of horse manure? How can you tell by just looking?? - SiNiSTaR
yes they are and they can't they're just being stupid dumbasses

who do some guys think that just because they're good-looking, they have the right to be obnoxious bastards? - SiNiSTaR
same reason why chicks who have big boobs and tiny waists think they have the right to be fucked up bitches

I'm tired and stressed and have way too many deadlines. Any suggestions for how to change the circumstances? - Mzebonga
i say you fire those sock monkeys you have working for you and get some new ones... obviously they are not ensuring your happiness ...

What's with everyone changing their email addresses? McDiablo
it's an attempt to fill your address book with so many emails that you stop mailing everyone

Why won't my music files upload? Why, oh why, oh why? McDiablo
it hates you...

Do you think I should pretend to have fun at the dentists' while getting my impressions, or should i just sleep? McDiablo
have fun sleeping... and be sure to steal something shiny

i love you, and you are great. please help me, for my duck does not waddle to me any more. i have followed your instructions on throwing bread to ducks, and i am incredably nice to the duck. what more can i do to please this creature. and i want a monkey.
i say you move out and allow the duck to live it's life without you.... and don't we all?

Why do flies work their ass off to get into your house. Then once inside they beat their head against a window pane to get out?
they are trying to confuse you into giving up your shoes

I have been to the doctor many times for my health ailment.They keep telling me there is nothing wrong with me. Do you think I am seriously ill because everything I eat turns to shit?
i've heard of that sort of thing happening to others... seek out a support group...

Chia Pets, Mullets, and Anna Nicole Smith... they all seemed smart at some point in time. Why do you think that is? And do you think they would exist if the creators of those things knew what would happen to them? Anthrax.Boy
they did? they never seemed smart to me... but then again i'm fucking brilliant

how can anyone like that horrible techno feng-tou music?? - SiNiSTaR
the what-now? i don't have that here...

An asylum is were they put mad and insane people, right? So, when a refugee is seeking asylum in another country and it is granted to that refugee, do they put the refugee straight away into an asylum?
it depends on the country really

DOES YOU SOCK MONKEYS REALLY HAVE SEX? - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
yes... here is proof

IF I GIVE YOU TEN MILLON DOLLERS, WILL YOU LET ME BREAK EVERY SINGLE RULE YOU HAVE ON THIS WEB SITE? - Etik_is_high_as_a_kite
yes but we want the money up front in cash

am i going to kick ass at my music school audition on saturday? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course... unless you sneeze on them or do that little 'dance' of yours in front of them

I am having friends over in an hour and a half to hear me play guitar. the sucky part is that my voice is screwed because of my throat infection. what do i do? what DO i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater
get someone else to sing... or throw a tantrum so they leave

how come my brother realized i had my sweatshirt on backwards and i did not? is it wrong that it's more comfortable backwards? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's not so much wrong as strange... especially if it's a hooded sweatshirt

So, I had an interview today and I was asked personal, educational and situational questions. Were all those "al's" really necessary? McDiablo
it was actually just a sick joke on you...

What made my instructor think, 'Now that kid will make a good tutor'? McDiablo
nothing... you were just a randomly picked name

How does one get rid of the onion smell on their hands? McDiablo
chop the hands off and soak them in lemon juice

what should i get my mom for mothers day?~SG*
is that coming up? good thing someone warned me... what should i get MY mom?

I have been reading that the music industry is crying that the internet is killing the profits on the free down loading...Now they are setting up sites that you can download songs for 99 cents.(legal now). My question is what the hell is the differance if I download it off the internet or I put a cassette in the deck and record it off the radio???????
well the downloaded version should be a better sounding format... but besides that... i think that there will always be around whatever they set up ... and if people really like a band and want to support them then they will go out and buy their cds or something to support them so they make more

As you are canadian, I hold you personally responsible for Degrassi Junior High... Are you ashamed?
haha nice try...

r u a male or female sock monkey? if you're a female sockmonkey will u go out with me? nah just kidding, i dont date canadians
a sigh of relief comes from all of canada...

dc, i've had such a shitty year. i was pistol-whipped by a rich con man. i've been sent to jail for months, and came out on 4 years probation for something really fucking stupid. i'm on a special probation that stipulates that i can't drink, despite me being of age. obviously i can't smoke anymore, either. my chair slipped off a second story balcony with no railing, and i fell about ten feet onto a brick patio, breaking my back. i've gained about 30 pounds or so. last night i was thrown from a car going about 35, breaking my collarbone and fucking up my head. i landed on my feet then cartwheeled head over heels on the blacktop. at least my fragile back came out alright. my beloved piece of shit car had to be replaced by a shitty honda. i've had over 300 dollars in speeding tickets. all my friends moved out of town. i've taken up smoking again. both my big toes are horribly infected because i fucked them up and can't afford a doc. excuse the whining, but any hope or at least nihilism to offer?
nah... i am just going to point and laugh like the rest of the world

Why is Madona still making records and WHY did she make a video immatting flash dance? Wasn't the movie bad enough already ?-NNY
well there is no rule saying she can't... and i haven't seen that video... and yes

Why is it that in ICP ( Insane Clown Posse), they have a clown named violent Jay ? I mean what's so violent about a clown named Jay ?-NNY
all clowns are evil

Why is it that when i went out on a business trip,my roommate painted the facade of my bathroom door yellow ? Everything in there is blue and the walls are still white everywhere else. I think he has too much free time and he needs to get hobby or something.-NNY
yellow? yellow sucks... go away again and maybe it will change again...

wow..I feel special..I reminded DC about Mothers Day..eheheh...someone help uss!!how bout band-aids or something..i ran out...~SG*..oh and it's May 11th!
that's sooner then i expected... i am now concerned about this recent turn of events

hmmm, a sock monkey is kind of like a midget, all small and hairy.... so what kind of midget related services do you offer? - Bill Clinton (i only ask because my present midgets are not living up to expectations)
i offer none to you... i do suggest you find a more appealing species to appease your tastes

ha ha, i've finally figured it out, you give the GOOD questions the monkey butt award... that explains why all those questions with the vulture head are so lame... so am i right or not?
i'd have to vote for not... in fact, i bet you just wanted to get get a bad question award so you could do nasty things with the tail... you sick freak! getting off on a bad question award?! you have some serious un-fun issues

what does sock monkey punani feel like?
punani? no idea what that is actually... i'm sure some messed up person will share the meaning though... in the meantime... i will assume it means feet... and they feel feetish

why is it that most, if not all of the comedy in this section is contained in the questions and never in the answers? How does it feel to be a completely unfunny individual despite such obvious effort?.....why do i hate you so much?
you're reading them bottom to top... i cry about this every night until i pass out until i realize it's all a dream... and you're sexually attracted to me and denying your true feelings...

so today is drawn in to an end.. but it hasnt even started yet..i feel like a fool.. im not depressed..i dont care but im looked down on ..im pissed off.My therapist told me i had low self-esstem.i knew that!i didnt need any person to tell me that..i need her to say i m briliant and special...she said that wasnt her job.she doesnt like me..i told everone about my constant headaches ...they dont seem to care.i understand the world, i understand thier concerns.. so its understandable why id hate it..i just am like that guy in ren and stimpy... why did he slave over those photos to just get denied@!@@?so..dc..do you think im brilliant and special?do you think you are?
you're special ... that's apparent... and of course... i'm a professional sock monkey porn star... i'm damned special... my mom told me so and she doesn't lie... much...

Is Jell-O made of gel, like hair gel, is that how it stays so neat in its little cup or is it made of ground up cow hooves like everyone says?
well after a quick search i found this... and yea

So, should I get married in a 7-Eleven or will some people be appalled by the stickiness of the floors? McDiablo
i say get married in the parking lot... but not near the gas pumps... maybe by the trash bins...

Why does my sister not like the fact that I sometimes eat chocolate cake for breakfast? All I'm doing is listening to Bill Cosby's wise words about eating such a food in the morning ("It's got eggs, milk and wheat!"). McDiablo
i say she's just being mean and you should punish her by eating more cake

How come the same commercial is sometimes played twice in a row on TV? McDiablo
to annoy us all... and if they show it enough we'll get brainwashed and go buy the product and sing along with their little puky jingles

hey i tried answering the may what if's and questionaires but it said page could not be displayed. did mine go through? thanks.--Syko Morgana
yes it did actually twice... so we got it

I've alway wanted a stinky monkey but award. Could i have one please,or do i have to work for one ?
you people are really into that tail aren't you...

What's my net paty gonna be this time ? -NNY
your what? i can't hear you... what???

Ok, let's hear it from you...are we all going to get SARS and die? FartMonkey
yes but not this time around

Isnt this a cute little box of tacks? How many tacks ya think are in there? FartMonkey
at least 40... maybe 3000... can i have some?

Why do i keep on getting e-mails advertising"Natural Breast Enhancemants" ? I'm not married, last time i checked i was not a woman, and I never said I was a woman to anyone on the internet. My friends tell me that they all get "Natural Male Enhancment" advertisments and Porno in their e-mails but no, i have to get breast enlrgments. Are the Fates trying to tell me something ?-NNY
i get the same thing as your friends... is my tail really that limp? must it constantly be hard to view XXX free webcams? do i not need to have a job or some sort of purpose in my life? and i say get the breasts... i bet they'd be a lot of fun to have

There is a statue in Ordean Court that looks like the Michelin Man holding a hot dog and missing his yo-yo. Who is this guy supposed to be and why is he here?-NNY
if i told you then i'd have to tell that guy on the corner... and he's creepy

If you were to be stranded on a planet inhabited by giant lobster-like beings, and could only bring one type of fruit, what type would you bring?-NNY
apples... the green kind

If you were to decorate a torture chamber, what sort of wallpaper would you use?-NNY
orange and yellow checkerboard

When we are filling out questions or what ifs or any forms on this site and something goes wrong and it says Page cannot be displayed, so we go back and submit it again, and again and again, so you end up getting whatever nonsense we put in there like six times, do you get pissed off, or are you understanding? Does it all depend on your mood? FartMonkey
sometimes we do get multiple entries, causing us to freak out if it's more then 3 times... other times your answers are stolen by the government to track you, your thoughts and your spending habits

Sure are a lot of people asking for monkey butt awards...anywho, I was wondering, since the Good Question Award used to be green but then mysteriously changed to red, would this indicate that it will, at some point, change to another color? FartMonkey
it's hard to tell with these sort of things... i mean... what's to stop it again? why did it change at all? did it just decide this? was it planned out? is it sick? has anyone seen small dino head puke anywhere? i'd ask it myself but to be honest we have more of a working relationship... not a friendly one

Are the cats' plans for world domination really all that's behind all this SARS stuff? FartMonkey
not really... but partly

Why the hell do my cats chew on my guitar strings?
they want to rock and roll all night... and party everyday

why do they call it after dark, when techinically it's after light
people are too lazy to say all of the real term which is 'after the dark has arrived for awhile and now we're in darkness'

Did journalists staying in Mogadishu at the time have access to AP, Reuters, or wire reports?-NNY
twice but that second time they're not sure about

If a women were to give birth to a child that was 5 feet and 6 inches tall what would the pregnancy be like n how would the lady look afterwards?
really fucking sick

So, my cat was sitting beside the heater earlier. Do you think she was trying to give my mom a hint to turn it on? McDiablo
yes... that and to protest the occupation of the bathroom by towels

Why do my computer illiterate parents seem to worry so much that Windows will get deleted? McDiablo
they've done it twice while you were away and had to pay a lot to have it all back by the time you came home... and they're still not sure what they did to make it do that

I liked the last book I read even though it involved a sheep that possessed people which eventually left their bodies (but left the person with a blood cyst that would kill them). What book did you particularly enjoy reading? McDiablo
hitchhikers guide to the galaxy... that was a strange and funny book

after looking through all the facts and coming to my own conclusion(which is that they didnt) do you believe that we really landed on the moon in 1969 or anytime thereafter? the facts are really interesting and i think NASA is full of it.
yes humans have been to the moon at least once in my opinion...

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? Were you trained in liposuction???-NNY
drawing stones... depends on the person really... lust isn't blind... it's second to pencils the government use but hide from us as a huge conspiracy... no

The bible says jesus loves everyone,but if that's true then why does he make Anti-Christians go to hell ? I thought he loved us! Are they lieng to us ? -NNY
yes they are lying to you

My colleagues and I have agreed that it's easy to find things in a messy room because , for example, while looking for your shoes, you get a nice survey of where everything else is. You never find your shoes, but you can find anything else after that. Then when you clean your room, or especially when someone else cleans your room, you can't find a blasted thing anymore. Do you agree? FartMonkey
of course! it's how i live... how can anyone not live like that?!

while i'm thinking about it, what do you want for your birthday? - Nikon
some salad... maybe some cheese... stuff... books...

Do you own a bong?Do you like flowers?--Syko Morgana
no

please can you just make it stop? I hurt - Nikon
sure i can... and it will never hurt again

What are three songs that would cause you to kill me if I started singing them right now?FartMonkey
have i told you lately that i loved you, don't worry be happy, hit me baby one more time

Does theInsaneDomain's world sterilization plan involve real monkeys and sock monkeys? Or just the stupid breeding humans? FartMonkey
just the humans for now

it seems like lately there have been a lot of people dancing naked in my yard. what can i do to get rid of them?--Syko Morgana
get rid of them? are they stomping on your flowers? send them over to my place

sometimes i sit in my room, cut myself and cry, i let myself be walked ALL over by my boyfriend and i am in love with my best mate (WHO IS MALE) but it makes me feel low cuz i can talk to no-one, i know your just a monkey thing, but gimmie answers, what should i do?
i think you should just focus on your education... and for fucks sake grow up and stop cutting yourself...

Hmm...I just spent almost two hours reading past questions...there are a lot of questions asked more than once...is there something better I could be doing, or is this in fact the best activity for someone of my mental state? FartMonkey
no there is nothing else you could be doing that is better then reading this stuff... i applaud you and yes there have been many repeated questions i'm sure... i try not to let repeated questions get in, but i can't remember them all... plus i answer more at a time now... when i first started it was a few questions each week... now i answer every 3 days and this is a first time in a long time that there have been less then 20 questions for me to answer...

So,what T-shirt design is winning? When to we get to buy them?
so far the sock monkey porn star shirt is winning...and it looks like within a month or two they will be available...

So according to the InsaneDomain's people suck list, there is not, nor has ever been, any person who didn't suck somehow? Not one? Ever? FartMonkey
exactly

Did you hear that? I think it was a gunshot...whoa there's another one..FartMonkey
no all i hear is the tv... although the other night i heard some shitty music coming from a bitch in her jeep... did i mention it was at 3 am?

My hair is really annoying. Should I burn it all off or let it grow reeeally long? Or do both with the opposite sides of my head? FartMonkey
i say do both with oppisite sides of your head... if you can figure out to keep a flame burning on your head all the time, then that would be the coolest

We haven't had Oreos in our house in such a long time. What motivated my parents to actually buy some? McDiablo
their experiment is over

Why are all these 'hip hop' terms being added to the dictionary (like phat, jiggy, etc.)? McDiablo
they are? humans gets stupider by the minute...

Why does my mom find the corniest jokes funny? McDiablo
it's her job... and now that the oreo thing is over she needs to focus on a new experiment

How come when I walk by a picture of a person on the wall it looks back at me and follows me with thier eyes?..........Lame Brain
you're just that damned sexy... even i can't look away

Have you ever noticed that the bottled water (evian) spelled backwards is naive? (Must say it all to people who buy bottled water)..........Lame Brain
i have never noticed that... and i haven't seen anyone buy bottled water lately but next time i'll tell them and see how they feel about it... maybe they'll give me prizes and stuff for being so clever

If humans get stupider by the minute, if I grab some guy off the street and ask him once a minute what 2+2 is (provided he doesn't kill me), each time I ask he will give a response that is less and less correct? Does this also mean that there were, many moons ago, humans who weren't stupid, or were just very slightly stupid? FartMonkey
humans as a whole... but you know... that would probably work... and humans have periods of extreme stupidity... just in different ways each time

Why does the demonic muffin keep on chasing me?
you bit it's ass

Am i the squirrel queen?
hell no... that fat gray one is

What do you (:*) think about people (:-[) who use excessive (8^X) and strange (o.O) emotion icons (>:-})? ¨¬Oo The Pink Panther oO¨¬ (^____^)
i think they piss me off

Can I? Please? It'll be OK, I promise! You just have to let me try it. Ok? Aww, come on, man! Be a sport! Please?
no

Why a sock monkey? Why not a prize won at a Carnival?
why not some fries? why not some blank paper? why not a sheep with boots?

Why must gravity win every time? I should get a handicap or something, like in golf. It's simply not fair! Why?!
well it hates you and everyone else on the planet... if it didn't then it'd fling you off the planet to somewhere fun

What does sock monkey taste like? Does it taste like normal monkey? And, do sock monkeys like pandas? - KellyBean
like sock monkey... no... and some of them...

i spent 5 hours doing an orientation yesterday, was that just a test to see if i would kill myself? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes it was... and you did well by comig here instead of killing yourself... good job

at work do i actually get to touch fish today? do i really have to wear my dorky uniform? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes you do... and of course you do... otherwise it might be fun

DC, the naked people dancing in my yard are old Bavarian men and women left over from the 14th century. they smell bad and wont take showers. Do you still want them?--Syko Morgana
well i do have a high pressure water hose... so sure... send them over

isnt cheese soooooooooooooooooooooo good? GOD DAMN I love cheese. whats your favorite type of cheese? I personally enjoy Mozerella and that velveete shit.--Syko Morgana
i like old cheddar cheese...

DO Carp Tunnel and how many fish do you have to catch in order to get CT Syndrome?
yes and about 30 of them... adults of course

Why hasnt GW Bush been assasinated yet? The whole of America cant surely have better things to do?
and miss a single second of their precious tv???

Why does the male lead singer in Electric Six sing "Hey Girl I want to take you to a GayBar etc." and not "Hey Boy?"
ask him... i didn't write it

Why on earth are the bland band TRAVIS so popular and why did it take them FOUR YEAR TO WRITE THE SONG THAT GOES "SING SING SING...Sing...sing sing etc."
i've never heard of them... they sound stupid

`Why wasnt the Royal Family in England charged for setting up the death of and in fact murdering Princess Diana and the son of the Harrods Boss? How COULD Princess Diana visit all those sick poor needy and dying people and start her little landmine campaign yet still spend thousands on superficial dresses and colonic irrigation etc?
no proof... and since i'm not her, i can't answer that question either... are you saying that she didn't do enough?

Why over the last 30-40 years - or since the second world war - and despite so called heightened awareness, the expansion of the media tv press, and everyone being more well informed and the like does the ratio re wealth and %population remain UNCHANGED. 8% of the people STILL OWN have control/power over 80% of the wealth?"
humans never learn

Can anyone else hear snail scream when plucked off walls etc. and why do they do this?
they're pissed off about being pulled off the wall... it's not as easy as it looks

What did come first please - the chicken or the egg and is it in any way connected with the other poultry dilema Why did the chicken cross the road?
the frying pan... and yes but the government is covering up the truth

Why in the UK do they put disabled parking spaces outside Ice Skating rinks?
disabled people can skate too

How can any system that preaches "An eye for an eye - a tooth for a tooth" and also "turn the other cheek" hold onto so much wealth power and influence for so long - lack of credibility or what?!
people in that system believe they are better then others and can somehow not classify the others as 'humans' so they can treat each other like shit yet somehow 'believe' in their system

DC, I got a problem when I die, Because when I die, heaven won't accept me because I am evil, and hell will try to keep me out because I might take over. Where do I go when I die?
i could tell you but you wouldn't understand yet... you'll be surprised

how come the pool hall i loved as a kid is now a 7-11??--Syko Morgana
to make you feel old and discarded

If IHOP(international house of pancakes) is international, how come there are none here in Germany?--Syko Morgana
since when does international mean every single nation?

Why do people that ride bicycles do it in the middle of the road acting like they are cars holding up people trying to drive their cars trying to actually get somewhere when there is a bike in front of their car going the speed of a turtle when there is a "bike" lane they could be in!!?
people are stupid.... and they should use the bike lane

Do you think that I could make a website similar to this one, I'm thinking "The Insane Domicile", and it was almost EXACTLY like yours, but with small differences, and my mascot was a sock orangutan? ANthrax.BOy
i think if you do that .. i will no longer spank you like you want me to and i'll hang up when you phone... and then i'll send you hate mail with scanned in drawings of me hurting you in non-fun ways

I have a sign on my propery: "Trespassers will be shot on sight, survivors will be repeatedly shot". Some of my neighbours found it offensive. offensive in what way? - DZ
well it doesn't say what you do to neighbors and if they want to come over and say hi, they aren't sure if they'll be shot or not.... if i were you i'd make a sign and let them know

what the hell does it mean when they yell "three-twenty four, three-fifty two" or whatever shit it is in American Football? I don't even know if those numbers are right, but you get what i mean. - SiNiSTaR
i have no idea... i don't watch football

Oh yeah, do you watch ice hockey and if you do, who do you prefer, Canucks or Maple Leafs? anyway, the Maple Leafs play dirty!!! grrr.. *gets look of anger and madness in eyes*- SiNiSTaR
yes i do... and maple leafs... and i'm sure you're aware but there are lots of canadian teams besides those you mentioned... and most of the american teams have many canadian players on their teams too... and yes... they play dirty sometimes...

why is it that sometimes when i just wake up i feel paralyzed, like i can't breathe and like there's a huge weight on me? - SiNiSTaR
that happens... there is a name for it but i'm too lazy to look it up so you should look up types of sleep or something to find out.. i've only had that happen once and it was really strange

how do people get bipolar disorder, and do you know where i can meet such people, i'd love to go double dating with them sometime....? - SiNiSTaR
it's a chemical thing from birth i think... and they are all over... most of them have jobs with the government

Would you classify yourself as a rebel? McDiablo
well in some ways yes... but in other ways not really... here is the definition of 'rebel'
1 a : opposing or taking arms against a government or ruler b : of or relating to rebels <the rebel camp>
2 : DISOBEDIENT, REBELLIOUS

Miss Roger's Sweater has red pants for her work uniform. She has sworn never to wear these pants again. Do you think she'll end up having to wear them again at some point? McDiablo
yes i think she will... in fact... as i write this i bet she's wearing them

My friend called herself a "Nosey Nelly". My question is, why Nelly? Why not "Nina" or "Nincumpoop"? McDiablo
well the people voted and that's what they all decided... then they told your friend and here we are today

Well okay I send the old bavarian guys over and they are bringing beer for you. But if I remember correctly, you are allergic to alcohol. Am I right? If so, I am sorry..so very, very sorry..(trys to hide laughter)--Syko Morgana
ah shut the hell up... i can do what i want

Well actually DC, there are no IHOP's in ANY country in Europe, and there are none in Asia either! So why is it called international? The only place with IHOPs are Canada and the U.S. That is BARELY international. Admit its a lie and they aren't really international.--Syko Morgana
it IS international as canada and the us are different countries completely

How can I work on having a personal friendship with you?--Syko Morgana
i'll make a list for you... it may take me a few weeks though...

Why does cola with lemon in it taste like lysol?--Syko Morgana
it probably is... and i haven't had it yet... which seems like a good thing

*looks down*hrm...it's a bit nipply in here isn't it?~SG*
why yes... and try not to brush them up against me again... it hurt

i was packaging imitation crab at work yesterday, and i was just wondering what the heck is in imitation crab? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's like crab only it's not... just gutter fish trying to be cool

is it bad that my manager was about to do a PA announcement and was like 'i was going to shush you, but figured that i didn't need to' ... because i'm so quiet... -Miss Roger's Sweater
no i don't think it's bad... it would be bad if he picked it up and started singing badly...

why does everything smell like fish to me? i only worked 4 hours yesterday.. -Miss Roger's Sweater
they've begun to work their way into your clothes and now you will stink forever... FOREVER!

why do people ask me where things are located in the store? i only know fish (somewhat) why? why? i ask ya.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
they just ask everyone they see until they get an answer... so put a sign on you that says "IF IT'S NOT FISH, I DON'T KNOW." and just point to it ...

How come people keep asking if they can make a website that looks exactly like this one when they KNOW it's not going to be anywhere near as cool? It just doesn't make sense to me..if your cool idea is taken, too bad get another one people, unless you're too stupid to have more than one cool idea in your life... FartMonkey
yea they need to get their own ideas... there are too many websites that are all the same... there are many websites that are cool out there because they do their own thing and don't just link to everyone else...

The apples that I bought from the store yesterday are all rotten and nasty. Should I get up off my lazy butt and go return them or just forget about it cuz I'm so lazy? Do you have a use for them? FartMonkey
i'd throw them at people on the way back to the market to get more

is it bad that i'm actually kinda enjoying listening to hardcore punk/emo? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's not as bad as it could be

is the baby going to drool on me tonight? he's walking now.. I think it's just part of his evil plan to take over the universe.. or get a cookie.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
---NO BABY ZONE--- move along... nothing to see here...

How come porn is always 'XXX'? Why three? Does the number of X's have anything to do with anything? FartMonkey
i would think it's some way to tell how 'hardore' the porn is... maybe one X isn't as bad as XX? i don't know... i'm just making shit up... it sounded good for a bit...

How about this: you and I collaborate and make a new edition of the Sims for people to torture, only in addition to the generic Sims, we include an assortment of existing people that consumers really want to see die; i.e. britney, carrot top, etc. You in? FartMonkey
that would be a project i would certainly be interested in... when is the first meeting?

what are some bands you like?
tomahawk... pwei... manson... mr bungle... hansel...

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