what should we do about the war in ireland? why won't the british leave ireland? they have their own land they don't need ireland! cripes! whats wrong with the goddamn british?!? will you help me get them out of my home? irish psycho
i say you find a planet and call it ireplanet and then you can all live in peace

Do you have any words of wisdom for the dumb of the world such as myself? ~JeEpY
you need to have yourself sterlized, and then send me money and i'll tell you what to think

How come when it rains in Vancouver they always say it is pouring cats and dogs when really it is like mist?~JeEpY
they are just lying to confuse you but to know for SURE you need to pay for me to come visit and check it out myself... a round-trip fare from toronto shouldn't be too much

I really like how the site looks now. Do you think I should buy those people who worked on it a Slurpee or just give them a mental pat on the back? McDiablo
i say you give jcp and i some slurpees... my.theinsanedomain.com is beginning to look really good... but you won't be able to see that for awhile yet... but you'll like it... oh and non-members will be able to see the webcam...

Did my friend forget to come and pick me up? McDiablo
yes but they'll pretend it was 'traffic' that made them late

What do you do to get a song out of your head (that is basically repeating the same line over and over and over etc.)? McDiablo
you pick a new song or plug your ears and just scream until it's gone

As for my hair-pulling-out question, I actually was referring to the hair just on my head. Would you like me to count all of them for you? FartMonkey
only after you pluck them all out... except for 3 like homer

How come people look at me like I just swore when I call my dog (which, yes, is female) a bitch? That's what she is! They don't flinch when people call a female deer a doe! S'matta?
explain it to them... they will then understand

What would you do if I ran in circles for countless hours, whilst you are locked in the same room with me and have access to a shotgun? FartMonkey
i'd count each lap for you and for every hundred i shoot a hole in the wall to mark the occasion

Why do people run from me? FartMonkey
well you are constantly yelling 'FIGHT! FIGHT!' and it causes people to get scared and run away

Was Sanimal born in a toilet? FartMonkey
i thought so too until it was explained to me that it was just his mom trying to flush him down it after giving birth

What would you do if you cut yourself really bad and discovered that your insides were all metal and that you were really a robot? FartMonkey
i'd be so happy that i'd dance around and flex my robot arms

Will the media's brief obsession with Xena the Warrior Princess ever reoccur? FartMonkey
reoccur? i guess i missed the first one... then again i don't really pay attention to that stuff...

Well, I have asked everyone else, and now you: Do you have my tie? FartMonkey
no i don't but i thought i saw it fly by the window last week

Why is the fact that I know the guitar I was playing a minute ago is worth $20,000+ make me want to go out onto the driveway and smash it even more? FartMonkey
to say you did it...

I hate it when people laugh at you because of some dumb inside joke they have and then they won't tell you about it. Don't you hate that? What can I do to those people? FartMonkey
yes i do hate that and i suggest ignoring them or shoving them into oncoming traffic

dammit!lol i think it's green and long..and skinny..but teacher said now and laughed...do you like Yaoi?(guy on guy)sorry..had to ask..~SG*
i'm still wondering what the green and long thing is about... do i like it as in personally partake in said 'guy on guy' activity? then no i don't...

Hey DC, whats goin on? I am just getting back into free time to journey here. But then I was just notified 2day that I will have 2 go for jury duty. DC, what do you think of Jury Duty?--InsaneLane
i think it was a horrible movie and you couldn't force me to watch it again...

I am sure I have already asked you this but: What happens when you weld the barrels of two guns together and fire them at the same time? Well, I can guess what happens, really I just want to see it. Want to try it with me? FartMonkey
ok come on over and we'll give it a shot.... <shakes head at self for saying that>

hey dc i filled out the what-if's but i got this error message so i dont know if it went threw, is there any way you can check?--Syko Morgana
yes it went through... yea the site was having issues for a bit but things seem ok now... <shakes fist at servers but then quickly puts fist down before network admin sees it>

why did you go and have an ear job? i liked your cute fat little sausage ears.... are you sure that's even you??? Or is it some evil clone that wants to take over the world?? - SiNiSTaR
it's me... and i felt more like an elf before i got them fixed to be normal monkey ears... i can hear much better

have you heard that IRRITATING cheeky girls song that goes 'touch my bum'? what does that music make you feel like doing?? It makes me feel like killing myself. - SiNiSTaR
no i haven't heard that and i'm thankful

DC, do you like oranges? I find oranges so interesting. I like to break them open and examine the little "orange capsules." I like to eat them all one by one so the orange lasts for several hours. In my opinion, an orange is the greatest marvel in the fruit family, well, except the tomatoe, but thats just cuz of its long standing existance as the black sheep of the family that noone wants to talk about.--InsaneLane
i like sweet oranges... the sour ones suck... and those with seeds suck...

is it ok if i go and cry in my emo corner? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes it is... go on and have a good cry

i have made a makeshift desk out of my bass guitar hard case and a couple small wooden chairs.. resourceful or retarded? - Miss Roger's Sweater
resourceful... and don't let those ikea bastards tell you any different...

why is this website being mean to me? - Miss Roger;s Sweater
it HATES you and your little sweater too...

Why do we call it GASOLINE when it is not a gas? Should we rather call it LIQUIDINE?
i'd like to call it 'stinkass'

Last night I had this dream... I dreamt that I was in a great big hall. But I was not alone, there was tens of me's, hundreds of me's, thousands of me's... What does this mean to me?
more importantly... what does it mean to ME? the answer is nothing... however i had a dream where my wisdom tooth was coming out and when i pulled it i discovered it was attached to a long piece of flesh and i had to knaw at it to get the tooth free from it... my mouth was filled with blood and i had to keep spitting it out

Can you guve me a price estimate on this wedge of cheese? FartMonkey
$4.38 CDN

The entrance to your site has a message to 'those who cry easily'. Has someone actually cried upon viewing your site? McDiablo
most likely... we all know how touchy some idiots are out there...

My cat's name is Pepper. With a name like that, my mom seems to have come up with a lot of nicknames for her: Pepperoni, Peppermint, Peps, Peppy, etc. Is my cat annoyed by this? McDiablo
yes she is... her name is PEPPER...

When a site is being slow, is it all right to sing to it...."Oh, hurry up...please hurry up..." ? McDiablo
yes it is but not a cutsy song... it has to be a hardcore kinda song...

When will my quest for a good answer award end? FartMonkey
when you ask a good question... but you knew that didn't you?

What are 7 things that you should never do in the presence of angry parrots? FartMonkey
1. whip cookies at their faces 2. run around them in circles while screaming 3. try to count their feathers by prodding them 4. dump their water dish on their heads 5. kill the 'head' parrot 6. start rattling the cage screaming "FIRE!" 7. watch the movie 'the birds'

Ever wear ties? FartMonkey
hell no

"The chickens are wearing tuxedos. The music makes me troubled. Blood. Blooooooooood. It's all happening again. Mommy? Mommy? I can't see that far. I can't stop shaking. I can't stop. I can't stop. The voices won't let me. Shh! Don't talk about them...they are watching...I will be punished...so many chickens.." If you had to rate this on a scale of 1-10, was this a good chunk of insane rambling? FartMonkey
i'd give it an 8 and i refuse to tell you why so THERE

How come dogs don't know it's not bacon? And, can YOU believe it's not butter? I can. FartMonkey
oh they know... and they know that we know... and yes i can

Last year for art, it was required that a purchase some special paint brushes. The end of the year rolled around and I never once used them. Now I am stuck with them. What should I do? FartMonkey
mail them to me... i'll use them

You say in your list of rules not to ask any one word questions. I recall somebody asking Why? and you answered it. Who is to blame? FartMonkey
i blame poor lighting... salad forks... stop signs... blind people and scanners

You know the little pictures that are all around your site, like the one next to 'featured items for now', did you guys take those yourselves or steal them from others? And are the pictures of you guys really pictures of you guys? FartMonkey
yes we made them all... most are from pics we've taken... here are where we have them all... and yes those are our real pictures...

What if you found out that everybody that asks you questions is really just one person using a bunch of different names? FartMonkey
i'd be very impressed until they started repeating themselves or getting boring

What about the war that's probably coming? - Omuletzu
what about it?

what did you want to be when you grew up?-Syko Morgana
a 'writer'

what is the circumfrence of a hot chocolate ass?--Syko Morgana
16"

why do people who drive hondas think that their cars are faster than cars with v8 engines?--Syko Morgana
they are so very stupid... that is why they are in those little things and equipping them with stupid stereos that crank the bass and then slap stupid stickers on it to make others aware of their stupidity...

Who created ding dongs?--Syko Morgana
some corporate slave

WHAT DO YOU THINK A THEME FOR OUR SCHOOLS 9&10 GRADE SEMI SHOULD BE? ~BLAH
the egyptians... and then afterwards dig a hole in the football field and bury them alive in it for authenticity

why do monkeys have assholes?
same reasons humans do... to put their fingers in to keep

If I sent you a bunch of money and possessions, would you leave me some stuff when you died? FartMonkey
of course... if you sent me stuff... i'd send you a thank you gift

How can I shake hands with 6:45 AM? A coffee commercial just said to do that. Really. FartMonkey
with what? never heard of this '6.45AM' thing... i have heard of coffee though and i obey the coffee but not the commercials

What is there currently no world record for, so that I can set a world record for it? FartMonkey
there is no world record for the longest time someone has spent on mars

What causes insanity? FartMonkey
it's different for each person... and each species

If both hail and clowns supposedly come from the sky, how come we never see frozen clowns plummeting towards the earth? Well, maybe YOU do..I've only seen them in dreams. FartMonkey
i've only seen that in dreams as well... i say we travel the world and find the truth... you're paying of course

How does each different color make you feel? FartMonkey
i like the color black if you consider that color... it makes me feel good... pink makes me feel mad... yellow makes me annoyed... peach makes me feel anger... red makes me feel good...

Is it OK to warn screaming children on planes that if they scream any more their windows will crack and break and they'll get sucked out of the plane? FartMonkey
yes... it's very kind of you to warn them

DC...if i have a lesbian friend who is real sexy, along with myself, and we came over, can we have hot wild monkey sex like me and you did the other night? or do we have to pay this time?
well i'm busy tonite... but call me tomorrow and maybe i'll let you come over for free

why does FartMonkey ask so many questions? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i'm not sure... but i don't cringe when i see them ... and i don't recall having to delete many at all... plus i know of at least two others <points at you and mcdiablo> that ask lots of questions too

did you know that 7eleven sells 'one size fits all panty hose'? - Miss Roger's Sweater
really? you should see if its true... see how many people can put them on

Rephrase - what do you think of war? Is it necessary? - Omuletzu
in some cases yes, since humans suck so much... throughout the past though there have been many unnecessary wars resulting in races being wiped out

I am stuck and bored at work right now. What can I do to make it better?
dip tissue papers into your water or coffee and sculpt the 'business plan'

I was walking down street, when a young beautiful blonde woman rode up to me on her bicycle and stopped, threw down the bike, undressed herself naked, threw down her clothes and layed down on the ground. lying before me naked with her limbs outstretched she told me to take what I see, so I took her bike and clothes and rode off. Did I do something wrong? Because people said I did.
maybe she had some jewelery that you shoud have taken from her fingers and ears... that's the only problem i can see with leaving her there... oh wait... did she have a helmet? safety is very important

How has my dad been able to get up before 5am for work for all these years? I am barely able wake up before 10am now. McDiablo
he is part robot and has been programmed that way... try putting him near lots of magnets and see if he wakes up late...

Is it weird that Miss Roger's Sweater and I tend to quote our instructors? McDiablo
not to me... but probably to some others who eavesdrop on your conversations but that's what they get for eavesdropping on people...

How is it that an inanimate object, like a computer, is able to cause so much frustration within a person? McDiablo
by crashing as your finally saving something that you've been working on for hours and were stupid enough not to save it before now because you thought the 'auto-save' thing was working...

hey you bastard! you did it again! Why did you erase that question..you know what im talking about! can i at least get an answer as to why you deleted it?--Syko Morgana
i should probably know what question you're speaking of but i've only had one coffee so my brain is still not working completely... i do remember deleting them though... so i'll give you my favorite reason for everything i do 'i did it because i can'

did you really change your fat little sasuage ears? Thats weird..sock monkey cosmetic surgery. you should be ashamed. cant you just be happy with the body that your mom gave you?--Syko Morgana
yes i did... i was 'unfinished', not flawed... there is a difference... it's not like i had breast implants or anything...

Wow I am amazed my friends go to 7eleven and I miss out cuz I am studying for a test.. is there something wrong with me? ~JeEPy
for now yes... but when you are at the 7eleven 30 years laster, you'll find those people working there and wonder if it was really so wrong after all...

How come when I am going to school I procrastinate till I have like 2 mins and I have nothing ready to go? ~JeEpy
you haven't learnt to go into 'autodrive' and have your body do everything automatically so you wake up at school

Me and my imaginary friend have been going round the bend, for some time now, for some time now. Me and Timmy Turd are getting troubled being heard, above the background hum, above the background hum. My and Barry C are going down to Connah's Quay, for all your Telecaster dreams, a Telecasters all you need.. But back to the point in hand, yes or blue? - Fido Dido
blue

Hey DC, if Jesus humped my lama...would you?
you'd have to prove a few things first... like 1 jesus' existance 2 llama's existance 3 the alleged humping 4 mold

static in the phone, why? and whats with all those birds flying over me?
pretend not to see the birds... and the static is messages from the dead

will you help me? i'd like to start a campaign for emo destruction. this idea was originally proposed by spazz and backed up by the ghost of gg allin, darby crash, and that guy who committed suicide from reagan youth. now to be honest, i have nothing against the music itself, and i do like some emo bands- but their "emotional" nature and lyrics often come off as forced melodrama, because it is. it's like you took the lyrics from a shitty nu-metal song, improved the vocabulary and put it to some bad indie music. also, that whole faux-nerdy act they have is bullshit. most of the emo kids i know are prep kids in disguise. this is a plague- lets do something about it. are you up for it, dc?
while these sort of people may cause some annoyance... i feel i must fight against those idiots that crank the dance music in their little cars... the ones who think their lives are run by mtv/muchmusic... and ANYONE who even kinda liks popstars/american idol and all that horrid shittyness

what is a Wickle Wacky Wonky Tonker?--Syko Morgana
sounds like a game involving paddles, dice and water balloons

do you have a favorite question that you've been asked on here, or a favorite answer in the what if/questionare part???--Syko Morgana
not that i recall actually... i have been asked thousands of questions and it's impossible for me to remember which out of ALL of them... hence the whole 'good question award' cuz i give it to questions if i like my answers too

is this fun sometimes?
sometimes yes... sometimes no...

What percentage of your daily time do you spend swinging from chandeliers? FartMonkey
1% ever since i got the game boy advance

When do i get my free cheezburger ?
we only serve veggie burgers here... and it will be 10 minutes cuz i'm not a good cook

Hey,DC, do you find me attractive ?
what do i get if i lie?

Why the heck is Bush such an idiot and wants to kill everyone?? ~JeEpY
some people are like that

"long and green"..*ish talking about the spleen*lol ok,well..I meant watching guy on guy..not in guy on guy...entertaining for meee!^_^..ok..what's on tv?~SG*
nothing is on tv... i've turned it off in disgust for today... it's like show creators are purposely making shows to insult our intelligence...

Why won't you answer questions about photosynthesis, what DC stands for, sterilizing needles, 24 hour stores or Britney Spears? Do you have something to hide? -Schizoid
<runs around in panic hiding evidence> i have NO idea what you're talking about...

Just when I thought my family was getting over their illnesses, my brother becomes sick again. Will my family ever get well again? McDiablo
yes but not until you are sick again

Was my Poems and Novels instructor drunk last night? (he walked into the overhead) McDiablo
slightly yes... but mostly he was high... and you should send me your textbooks when you're done the class

What do you do when you're bored and stuck in a room against your will? McDiablo
draw... kick things... start bothering the people around me... eating paper... making noises

what is it with george bush? why exactly is he such a cock? and why exactly does america feel this overwhelming need to claim total world domination? love from the communist queen
it's funny cuz it's true...

I have an incredible urge to light someones toe on fire... who would be willing to let me do this to them? ~NSuxbum
not i... feet are sick and stay away from mine...

exactly how many hard-ons do guys usually have per day? just wondering, it must be bothersome to have wood for no reason. and what is the fastest time for having an orgasm, for a male? i've heard it to be under a minute. very quick. i know from experience in giving lapdances it can happen in 10-5 min. but a minute? clue me in to the penis mystery.
it depends on the guy, his surroundings and what sort of things get him 'hard'...

How do they make wicker furniture? How come the little sticks don't break when they bend them into the shapes of chairs, etc. ? FartMonkey
it's all just fancy plastic cleverly designed to look like wood

What happens if I try to step in all directions at once? What happens when YOU try to step in all directions at once? FartMonkey
i hover

Which is better, fire, cheese, or knives? FartMonkey
knives

I recently had a dream wherein I was attacked by striped commas. I think my english teacher is causing me to have strange (well, stranger than usual) dreams. What should I do to her? FartMonkey
force her to move onto nouns and verbs

If I bury an egg in the ground, will an eggplant grow? FartMonkey
i would think if you watered it and stuff that it would work

What are the chances that my computer will explode and send me to the hospital for many months? How can I increase these chances? FartMonkey
not very high... you can increase them by rigging them to explode in such a manner

Does it anger cows when stupid humans drive past, stick their head out the car window, and go "MOOOO"? FartMonkey
no... it bothers them when people push them over, or yell "hi boys!" when they are girls

i was just flipping through the channels on my tv and i came across a 13 year old boy singing eminems song only it was about meat. this was on a childs television station. how wrong is that? how can they defile eminem like that? or a childs mind for that matter? what the hell is wrong with people? irish psycho
it is very wrong... mostly because only weird al can do that properly if it's done at all... and singing about meat is never a good idea...

so what about michael jackson?
what about him? damn why can't he be left alone already... if i were him i'd build myself a spaceship with that money and find myself a planet without annoying humans that spy 24 hours a day for 'proof' that he's even more fucked up then we already know about...

How come 1+1 and 1x1 have the same answer, but 2+2 and 2x2 don't? FartMonkey
i have asked the shiny thing on the floor that many times but each time it refuses to answer... once i get it to tell me then i will be sure to annouce the results to the world and all will be well again

Where can I obtain some silver bullets? FartMonkey
at the SilverBulletMart

Can you explain to be what exactly goes on when you get electrocuted? FartMonkey
well the current goes through you and then you jiggle around and your skeleton flashes through your skin so people know you're being electrocuted... oh and the lights flicker

What happens if I put a AAA battery on my toungue? How about a D battery? A car battery? FartMonkey
nothing... small buzzy feeling... i forget so you try and tell me

Why is it that all my classes (supposedly) are of equal length, but french is the only class that seems to last about 6 hours? Note: My other classes are not 6 hours. FartMonkey
french is like that... but it may come in useful when you go see all the cool caves and campgrounds in quebec and have to find a bathroom due to poor planning...

What should I name my new flyswatter? FartMonkey
spanky

My brother used to respect goaltender Curtis Joseph, but ever since he got traded to the Detroit Red Wings...well, all I can say is he was truly crushed. Will my brother ever be able to respect someone again? McDiablo
maybe in a few years... but let's face it... a lot of us were crushed and now just want to get on with our bleak little lives... maybe those cujo jerseys will be worth something on ebay....

Does candy ever really go bad? McDiablo
yes... and when it does... it goes really bad

Why is the American news so soap opera-ish? McDiablo
it's the only way to make them listen to all that bullshit... pretty soon it will just be one long commercial

Why do beer companies have to have funny, or, uh, "funny", commercials on TV? McDiablo
they do? i certianly haven't seen any... all i see are meatheads and for some reason beer companies don't think chicks drink beer or watch sports... they're just the 'girlfriends' with big boobs

Can you teach me how to go into auto drive??? ~JeEpy
i can but let's face it... you'll get lazy and not do it right... then end up smashing into a wall and crying

How come when you go shopping and you are trying to find one thing you can never find it? ~JeEpy
i got stuck on the first part... shopping? hmmm... i don't recall having to do that much... unless you mean me seeing it online somewhere and clicking buy or bid

How come when you go to 7eleven with Miss Rogers Sweater and "the other one" you just can't say no to a slurpee?? ~JeEpy
it's the sugar and the fancy shoes

ah,I see,good job!..i have no idead what to ask...sorry!~SG*
<points and laughs at you>

Why don't you update people that suck ?
why don't you MAKE ME

The letters in SAnimal stands for Stupid Abnormal Nasty Idiotic Moron Ass Loser. Do you agree that I have basicly described him?
yes... good job <claps>

can i cover you with syrup and roll you in cornmeal?--Syko Morgana
no... i'm not partial to stickiness

does your cat want to come over to my house tonight for bbq eagle?--Syko Morgana
no she's not very social...

Hi my little barrel monkey,yay I got a good answer thing for that my first in ages. I thought you'd like it. Anyway hows life treating you? Whats for dinner? Can you spank the monkey ?Miss you heaps,catch you soon.Your best friend ever Sally
life is trying to rip the stuffing out of me, light it on fire, then shove it back in... <shakes fist at life> dinner... hmmm... i guess i should get to that... and of course i can spank the monkey <spanks monkey>

Can you tell me the orgin of the word monkey?-Pancake
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Should I wear black this Valentine's Day and proceed to stand on a street corner and yell about who St. Valentine REALLY was and go on about how he didn't give a box of chocolates to his wife? McDiablo
is that coming up? you should wear black all the time... and yes i say you print up lots of hate mail about everyone not just st valentine

Got anything planned during the summertime? Yes, I am thinking ahead. McDiablo
well i plan on going to ottawa... northern ontario to camp/hike/bike... and maybe a trip out to eastern canada to see nova scotia etc...

I have read three out of the seven books I must finish this semester. Can I do it...can I? McDiablo
of course you can... and then send them to me unless they suck

He he...I know someone who was called the walking 7eleven because shes open 24 hours a day. what do you think of this?~NSuxbum
does she have locks on the doors?

why do people say "can i ask you a question?" isnt that cheating?--Syko Morgana
yes... go hurt them

who is writing the nurse on acid?i like it.--syko morgana
yea you just want to track them down and eat their brains... i know your type and i won't let you get away with it... i saw what you did and i'm telling everyone... what do you think of THAT fancypants?!

If a hippie drops and breaks the big glass bong,and subsequntly get another big glass bong for free from sympathetic hippie friends, then tavels through time to stop the first bong from ever breaking..(whew..) does the stoner in question get to keep both bongs?
yes but he must share it with his friends so the bongs don't get angered and smash themselves

If you deliberately put up the little dealie that says "The Good Question Award is awarded to those with good questions, but you won't get one", does that mean you intend to never again give out another good question award? What is the lack of meaning of this nonsense? FartMonkey
<points at you and laughs> you were looking for meaning in nonsense! ... anyways... it means that 99% of the time i am right and you probably won't get one...

Do you or any of your sock monkey friends ever wear Converse sock monkey shoes? FartMonkey
yes but not in front of anyone... they do that sorta thing in front of mirrors

I found a device in my basement it says DANGE! LE NUCLEA BOMBE Shit! I wish I did french so I could understand what it says. There is this big red button on it, should I press it and see what happens?
when there is a big red button staring you in the face... you ALWAYS press it... haven't you seen cartoons before? a big red button always means fun...

DC finds a magic latern in his attic and rubs it hoping for a genie to come out, and one does! The Genie starts laughing and then gets a serious look on his face, he grabs DC with his large burly hands and puts his thumb on DC's head. The Genie then says: "ARE YOU GOING TO GRANT ME 3 WISHES, OR AM I GOING TO CRUSH YOU TO A PULP?"
well yea but remember... no wishing for more wishes

Quanity does NOT equal quality. Bullshit! There is 7 letters in both words, so both take up the same volume, also in terms of data storage in computers they take up the same space. Am I right or what?
you're what... 'quantity' is fatter then 'quality' so it weighs more but it's not about quantity remember

It's 6:41 AM . It's a tuesday... Am i going to school ?-NNY
i wouldn't.... i'd answer more but there is something in my eye and i think it's ana's fur from her shooting it in my face when i sleep... i must go remove it now

Why don't chickens have lips ?
cuz KFC ripped them off along with the beaks when they were born

whoa is that really sanimals eye on the about us page?
i heard a rumor that it was... but jcp might have been lying to try to impress me...

Will my mom actually go to work even though she has to take these pills for her back that make her feel kinda drowsy? McDiablo
i think she'll try and once she flips out at a meeting proclaiming that she is 'the master of all the red pens' before passing out she will then be sent home

Why do they sell miniature playing cards? McDiablo
for people with tiny fingers, small playing areas or who find the smaller numbers more challenging

I really don't understand this: I borrow things from my family members, and I always put them back because I know they'll go crazy if they can't find that thing that I borrowed. So, how come when my family members borrow MY stuff, they never put it back where they got it from? Is it really that difficult? McDiablo
no... you have to learn to freak out more extremely so they are as terrified of you as you are of them... try to hit that pitch that makes them involuntarily shudder... that usually gets people to obey

How do you define the difference between being insane and lacking sanity? - DS
i define it as cold, strange and kinda bubbly

are you like a wannabe guru?
no... unless you wanna start sending me money

why do wierd people lke us love monkeys so much?
its the tails... the humans love the tails...

what do i do with this table leg in my hand?
throw it away in disgust

why does the shoe always fit?
what would be the point of having it if it didn't?

why is my vision currently slightly blurry and my head is hurting.. am i drunk? but i don't even drink.. at all.. well slurpees and water but nothing alcoholic.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
yea well you did drink ten gallons of slurpee... so yea you might be having problems

why is the library so busy on a week night? - Miss Roger's Sweater
books are wicked... go get some NOW.... NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

oh my gahg! so the 'english patient' isn't even from england? does that mean i don't have to finish reading the book? - Miss Roger's Sweater
the whatnow? i say it sounds stupid and burn it

am i going to be able to write one more poem for my CW class tomorrow night? my poetry has been pretty bad lately.. help.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
here use this...
just going nowhere
follow through each day
looking through me
dreams are all i have
how can i tell you
that it's too much to take
i don't fit in anymore
i guess i never did
how can i explain
the feelings i always have
never believing in tomorrow
waiting for the day i feel
without that darkness inside
screaming at me from within
something something but what
nothing is all i have

You have no genitals. How does that make you feel? Would you be scared if I told you it made me slightly aroused? - Mzebonga
i feel that my tail makes up for it all... and it's the tail you love baby... you know it

Please tell JCP to update her "Nothing really" page. It was just getting less boring! Did she quit her job or something? Could it be the Great Adventures of Unemployed JCP? Could it? Huh?? Could it?? -zOril
i think she's been updating it more... and i say you pay her to be able to quit her job and then she can just go around being weird like she does and tell you people all about it...

how come none of your sock monkeys have braces?
only herbert had to have them and he had them removed about a year ago

who are you calling fancy pants? I'll find out who wrote Nurse on Acid, eat their brains, and then find you and rip your little stuffings out and..and...*crys*..Im sorry DC. im being mean. will you forgive me?--Syko Morgana
well fine... will you still eat my brains when you find me?

cheese is quite simply a delightful treat, yes?--Syko Morgana
yes but damnit... we all KNOW it's not good for us...

are you in love with ronald mcdonald or what? i can totally tell!--Syko Morgana
hell no... that food isn't food and it's horrid that he pimps it out to kids and then puts sugar on the fries

Jay Leno or David Letterman?(say leno or Ill kill you)--Syko Morgana
i would say neither but if i HAD to chose for some stupid reason... you'd have to kill me

i just woke and there is a table leg in my hand......................what happened?
no there isn't... you can't prove a thing... give that to me

how did you get a paper cut on your ass?
that's not a paper cut...

why is there a sock monkey in my underwear dresser?
oh... sorry about that... i'll tell herbert to clear out

Why won't my car start when it's so cold outside? I'm serious so I want a serious answer. The engine starts but stops immediately. And when I get home from work (a bit warmer, but not a lot) it starts like nothing was ever wrong. - Omuletzu P.S. Don't answer that it's mocking me, I already thought of that and it is possible. I have ignored the broken exhaust pipe for too long so the car might be mad at me.
what makes you think i know anything about cars? next time try giving it a big hug before you start it...

Did you miss me? - Omuletzu
only if you brought me presents

What's the a sock monkey's brain made of and how does it work? - Omuletzu
i refuse to tell you... instead i will tell you about snow but i'm lying so you get NOTHING

What's "Quanity"? What the (#*@^$ do you mean by "Quanity does NOT equal quality."?? - Omuletzu
damnit.... <shakes fist at you>

In MK there was this fighter called Sub Zero. Does that mean that he's less than a zero, like such a bad fighter? - Omuletzu
as IF you need to tell me that sub zero is in mortal kombat... i KNOW this... don't insult me

What's the greatest one-word question you know? - Omuletzu
why ... most people don't have answers to that

Nah, that's not a good question. Please wait while I'm thinking of another one.How can you help me be a better human being? - Omuletzu
recycle... don't treat others shitty... send me gifts... go camping and don't leave a mess

Who would you blame and what would you do if you found this <link removed cuz it's 404> in your food? What would you do with something like this <link gone> ? - Omuletzu
<shakes fist at you and your broken links>

Should I understand that you think TV is bad for kids? What is your problem with stupid brats and their parents? What is SAnimal's problem with kids? Are your problems related? How can we tell if 2 people can or cannot turn out to be great parents. And finally, don't you think there are enough adults that are worse than the stupid little brats? (Sorry about "Don't send in lots and lots of questions at once.", but the questions are related) - Omuletzu
tv is bad for everyone if it's stupid shows... stupid brats and parents usually suck... ask him not me... perhaps in the grand scheme of things... do they have and use their brains?... hell yes and when they breed it's worse... i'm not against breeding... i'm against the stupid people breeding and raising stupider kids... the world is run by the majority but it sucks when the majority are stupid... and keep getting stupider because they are too stupid to stop breeding and get some brains before they breed... kids aren't an obligation... they are something people should choose to do so they can raise them being loved, nutured and taught to be creative instead of the mindless throw-away generation that is currently being spit out... it's not all about looks and sex boys and girls... all us smart people should sterlize the stupid and get this shit under control

What do you think of schizoids ?-NNY
well his music took a bit to get used to but i like quite a few songs of his now... have you seen schizoids site?

I think that Mcdonalds fries and chocolate xshake are about the nastiest but tastiest combo... -NNY
you are only right about the nastiest part

Could you rate my short story 1-10?: Once there was a penguin named Thurg. Thurg was a bad penguin. He carried around matches. When he got mad at an eskimo, he would start a fire and melt the eskimo's igloo. One day Thurg got in a fight with an eskimo and melted his igloo. The eskimo came out and beat him up and took his matches and dropped him off a cliff. Thurg didn't melt any more igloos after that because he was dead. FartMonkey
you forgot to put The End. at the end... otherwise it's good and i'll give it an 8

So i was walking down this alley way when i ran into god. an i was all what the hell are you doin here? he said he wasnt there.. so i said oh. then i said huh? then he told me "ask DC why he was imagining me ?" does that make any sense? Kyoritsu.
no but god never does make sense... just like how santa is full of lies... and the easter bunny is full of hate... and my imaginary friend stares at my ass a lot... what was i talking about? oh yea... imaginary people saying strange things... next time reply 'yahowza!'

Ok quaters are a quarter of a dollar right an nickles are made of nickle but what about pennies or dimes.... what im really trying to ask here is.. do you have a pocket?
yes so send me all the money you have

there were 2 banners now i see only one, id kinda well i kinda liked 2 banners.... whats up man?-kyoritsu
did one run away? hmmmmm

dont you hate it when your gettin under someones skin an they get all pissed of and stabb you with a medium sized type knife, forceing you to bleed cosequenlty mixing your blood with theirs and you have to whatch it all spill out that damn medium sized type knife hole? well doan-cha?? - Kyoritsu
yes... i can say that i do hate that and have protested twice outside with signs over it

ok... my mom has a boyfriend who breaks every thing, does drugs, spends all her money ,and cries ALL THE TIME, i mean this is a grown man, plus he watches dragon ball z and wrestling all day... how do i get rid of him?-creepy_rubber_duckey
your mom has some issues because she is stupid for sticking around... as for you, get a job or sell their stuff and move away from the morons... and don't forget to NEVER repeat their stupidity

whats up with all th posers these days?- creepy_rubber_ducky
take a look what is on the tv... and you will see why everyone is stupid... they are not only bred that way, but told by so-called 'reality' tv that being a shallow and only pretending to be a person is a good thing... they're all the same... baaaaaaaaaa.... i say we grind them up and have burgers... i'd rather eat that then the way the tv is feeding it to us

Are you anti-valentines day? My friend and I are bitter single people, and spent the day giving out rusty nails to couple and jeering at them. - Fido Dido
is that today? oh i suppose it is... i say ignore it... xmas is worth the effort to hate it... focus on being anti-xmas... though the rust nails thing sounds like fun...

when is the tuna stretch mark festival, and should we bring picket signs and riot gear?--Syko Morgana
absolutely

Will you smoke this fatty with me? I HAVE SOME CHEEEEEEESE!--Syko Morgana
well ok but only because you have cheese...

Why are you so great?--Syko Morgana
um.... <blushes> i don't know... HA i bet you weren't expecting THAT! nice try there syko... i'm not falling for that one again...

Have you ever voluntarily sucked up to anyone? FartMonkey
yes but it hurt so i never did that again

I now attack the phrase "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar", and the people who are always saying it to me. FIRST of all, I myself do not wish to CATCH flies at all, I only want them to not land on my food or make their annoying buzzing sound resonate in my skull for hours at a time. Secondly, is there any meaning to this? Did people at any time actually try to catch flies with honey or vinegar? What kind of retard would try to catch anything with vinegar anyway?? What should I do to the people who say this, and do you have any additional rantings to add? FartMonkey
people are just stupid... very stupid... stupid stupid stupid... be sure to tell them so they know...

Is it just that only the songs I hate get stuck in my head, or is it that a song I kind of like gets stuck in my head and repeats over and over a gazillion times until I hate it and want to kill everyone? FartMonkey
a bit of both... and everyone is in on it... that's right... we're all just fucking with your head...

Who is your daddy, and what does he do? - Kyo
i'm not telling you and you can't make me

do you know a young girl named barbara?....seems to me that only old and older women are named barbara. Hmmm..
no i don't... then again i don't know any older chicks named that either... my life is barbara-free

Why aren't more things from Des Moines? - Elf Munky
maybe they have better things to do...

Do you have a good answer?Do you have a "really" good answer? - Kyoritsu
of course i do... that's why i need you people to ask good questions

why do i keep having email sent to me about increasing the size of my penis when i have never signed up to recieve such information? I DONT EVEN HAVE A PENIS! does my computer just randomly sign me up to stupid mailing lists?
you too??? are they trying to get you to work from home too? apparently you can make millions every hour...

can I have some chocolate now?--Syko Morgana
yes you may... go ahead and eat it... and i hope you choke just a little bit on it too....

do you have a secret you want to tell me??...--Syko Morgana
nooooooooooo

how come everytime a german comes up to me and starts speaking to me in german and i tell them I dont speak German, they continue speaking??Should I resort to violence?--Syko Morgana
no you should learn german and figure out what the problem is...

whats your phone number again? i lost it.....--Syko Morgana
it's... 519-... oh wait a minute... i know what you're trying to do... well you can just forget it...

in the "about u" section, in the "choose a color" thing, why did u make all the colors bright? i swear to god they slapped me in the face after i'd been staring at the rest of your site(which is lovely and dark-thank u) i got a goddamn slap in the face when i clicked that icon. now that i thought about i, that was the idea. still, why couldn't u put some nice deep color like blood or just plain black? irish psycho
well if you pick any of them you get insulted... cool people wouldn't choose any of those colors... it's one of those things jcp made me do cuz she wanted to toy with your heads...

i'm adopting a sock monkey and the person i live w/ thinks u people are going to scam me. since i found u'r site and i've been coiming to it for a while i trust u but they don't. i really want that sock monkey, and it makes me sad. how can i make them trust u? irish psycho
well they are right to be concerned about buying things online... which should lead you to look into things that would make things seem safer for you... this site has been here since 1996... we're obviously in the process of setting up a pay area for those who want things like videos etc... we're obviously not going anywhere... plus we have better things to do then rip you off... my mother is actually the person who makes the sock monkeys... i'd like to sell them so she can be happy they sold... she is making more in the next few months for us to put on ebay or sell directly from this site... so you make the decision if we'd rip you off or not...

will u make a list of all the questions that got a stinky monkey butt award? thanx, i'd really appresiate it. irish psycho
nope... i don't want to

theres some scary looking freak driving down my street REALLY slow. is he one of the freaks whose coming to take me to the beach? irish psycho
yes... hide under the table and pretend to be a sleeping cat... maybe the freak will be fooled...

do u mind me asking all these questions? i need to soak up the knowledge from the almighty dc and i can only accomplish that by asking questions. please don't mind, ok? irish psycho
yes but remember i'd like you to send me gifts as thanks... i like shiny things, things worth money and books

i hate myself. i wish i was dead. would dc like to come rape me and then kill me? please, i'm getting really desperate? some bitch
uh no i would never rape anyone... i will kill though... what is your address again?

i use 2 names when i ask questions. can that be considered a form of multiple personalities? irish psycho
maybe but who's keeping track?

do u like my name? irish psycho
sure why not

if u could do anything to your greatest enemy what would u do? who is your greatest enemy? irish psycho
my greatest enemy is the stupid people out there as a whole... and i'd sterlize them

do u like the name russell? i think it's very weird. irish psycho
i have no issues, emotions or general ideas about that name...

when will i stop fighting with my mom? irish psycho
once you move out and both of you smarten up...

i miss the ocean. i've gone to florida every year since i was 5 and i'm not going this year i'm not going because my granpa died. am i selfish? irish psycho
no you're not... just plan a different time to go... and maybe you'll appreciate it a bit more you selfish brat

Let me try again! If the link doesn't work then it's either because you don't want it to work or don't know how to use a computer (doubt that), or it's just voodoo... or it got somehow converted to ucase - everything must be in lowercase cause the damn thing is case sensitive. So, who would you blame and what would you do if you found this http://zort.topcities.com/fluffy.jpg in your food? - Omuletzu
well i didn't want it to work but it did... and it wasn't worth the effort... that's it? that's it? i'm so disappointed... never will i post links again... this has ruined it for everyone...

One thing I don't understand is why does everybody want natality to be higher than mortality? We're 22 mil and we used to be 23 mil ppl. So what? Will we miss them? Ok, in time the medium age of ppl will go up and... are they afraid we'll become extinct?! Ha, ha, ha! - Omuletzu
humans will be if they don't get the hell off the planet....

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I... Damn! My internet connection just died again! I feel like throwing everything out the window. This computer is such a crap and I'm such a loser for not being able to find something else to do. I can barely contain my rage sometimes... always looking for something to consume it against. I never find anything "worth" destroying so I end up hurting myself by hitting something sturdy enough. Screaming would do, but I'm a "civilised" human being and I'm not alone in the house. I don't want to have to explain to my mother why I'm screaming at 11PM. I feel like crying too. What do you think of men who cry? It's all the same cause I can't cry. Stupid! And confused cause I can't see a way out. I'll just have to wait for things to become worse before they can get better. Money makes the world go round. That's a lie. Magnetism does it, inertia, mass... Money makes us hate each other cause of the envy. Money makes some people more right than the others. Good things in this world? Cats, dreaming (that's not in the world so it doesn't count), music... and some more dreaming. Don't you find strange that I like dreaming so much but I hate reading? Bad things in the world: it's too big for what I want and what I want's too big for me. (Damn, I'm beginning to sound like JCP's nothing really. Is that good or bad? I could make a diary and leave you out of this but it's better when someone actually reads it) People are bad and the world is full of them. Sometimes I think that all they care about is making it good for themselves, selfish, selfish, sel... fish? When was the last time you ate fish and what was it? One last thing. People all around seem to be content or even happy with what they have. They laugh, tell stories... I don't understand it. I don't see my life getting better. Will I feel better at 40? How about 50? Will I be happy at 70? Is that possible? - Omuletzu
well since you're mostly right... i say it's about making things not suck for others... doing what you want to make you happy and ignore those who don't get it... since you're at home... well you're stuck with it for awhile so learn enough to get a decent job (learn that shitty computer inside out, then get a new one and learn it inside out) move away and do what you want... happiness takes time... and once you hit 40 you're either happy or going downhill fast so don't breed at any point and you won't have to justify it all to some punkass kid... what was i saying? oh yea... take your happiness where you can get it cuz you're only here to die... so learn how to get away from the stupid people and do your own shit... and write out all your shitty feelings for now... or draw... or send me presents...

Does my family make it seem hard to get on a chairlift? McDiablo
yes they do

Do you think we should all have our own personal masseuse? I mean, you never know when you need one, and when you do, a masseuse is never there. McDiablo
i for one would love that... send me mine NOW

Why does my instructor like the word 'propinquity' so much? McDiablo
just trying to show off... just roll your eyes every time the world is used

Does it scare you to know that in my Poems and Novels class on Thursday we talked about everything from f*cking (like my censoring?) to necrophilia? McDiablo
hey! we are not on tv here... you can say fucking... and it's good to talk about things... so i'm glad

will you sing me a song about donkies?--Syko Morgana
no and you can't make me

i only have two classes coming up this week.. does that make it alright for me to slack off today? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course! slack off you slacker

is the library going to go to crap since i haven't been there at all this weekend? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes it is... what were you thinking?

isn't weird how 1/3 of my creative writing class got haircuts last weekend? i was feeling left out.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
not very creative are they? they're sheep... all getting sheared at the same time

is it bad that my aunt was screening her phone calls in case the lady from church calls? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no it's not... church ladies are boring, pushy and demented....

Sometimes I get so exited that I have dissipate the exitement with a muscle spasm and a grunt, with a resulting ~neeh sound, any suggestions?
try a little dance too...

Why do people become insane?
bad tv... stupid people... stupid people driving...

my computer is being a bastard and it won't let me access my e-mail. what should i do to my son-of-a-bitch computer? irish psycho
it's not your computers fault... it's the mail servers fault so go kick the shit out of THAT

can i have herbert? please? i want to do him. irish psycho
no! herbert was for sale once and nobody wanted him... he felt so rejected he developed a shoe fetish and he just can't handle a change in location anymore... maybe someday he'll be ok.. but not for a long long time

What is the difference between a slim chance and a fat chance?
one is slim... the other is fat

i'm new at this so don't go to hard on me. but is it just me or is it hot in here?
it's cold here actually... <shakes fist at snow>

i'm really sad. what should i do to make myself happyer? irish psycho
rent donnie darko...

Is it ok to get mad at inanimate objects when they move? and if so is it wrong to hit them? - Kyoritsu
well if they are infringing on your personal space then it's not wrong to hit them

I didn't get a valetine, awesome! Did you get one? I hope not!
no... good thing too

What's with all the pens so suddenly? FartMonkey
pens rock... send them to me

What's the little ball inside the computer mouse made of and how come it's so important? FartMonkey
rubber... sometimes teeth... or plastic... or dead toads... but i have one of those fancy marbleman mice so it's a red spotted ball made of plastic

Since something is wrong with either my computer or your form, I have to click this submit button twice, as the first time I get an error message and therefore must go back and try it again. Does this mean I'm sending you everything twice? Were you getting ticked at me? Can I ever be forgiven? FartMonkey
well the site had a few issues the last two days... well ok the server did... but all is well now so it should work fine now

How come I feel horrible for not visiting "certain sites" within a week? ~JeEpY
you should feel horrible if you don't visit this one... forget the others

is michael jackson just a sick fuck??--Syko Morgana
no he's strange but so what... you try having the shit kicked out of you by your dad and then made to dance around with a smile and see how normal you turn out...

Why are you on fire?! Can I put you out?--Syko Morgana
that's not me... that's the candle! damn... get your eyes checked already!

Can you finish the sentence? I, DC, am so great because.......--Syko Morgana
the voices told me it was so that one time they were drunk

does DC eat napkins??--Syko Morgana
not anymore

is michael jacksons sock monkey used to hide evidence
he has a sock monkey? it's not a TheInsaneDomain.com sock monkey so it doesn't count

Do you have any political views? What do you think of a war on Iraq? - Fido Dido
yes i do... and i think that war isn't something that is necessary at this point in time

wow not one really good question last time... Toast anyone? - Kyo
i'd like some toast if you put peanut butter and honey on it

Concerning condements: if you had to choose your 3 favorite condoments what would they be?(personally I think Cholula is The best) - Kyoritsu
onions ketchup cheese

Why oh why is there so much reality TV? I had enough of it after the 2nd 'Survivor'. Will the mayhem ever end? McDiablo
it's not reality at all... it's people being stupid because real reality doesn't sell... protest by NEVER watching that trite

Will my dad ever get the hang of working the DVD player? McDiablo
maybe the basics of it... but never the concept of it

To go with the previous question, it seems my dad figured out how to select scenes on the DVD. Should I give him a cookie? McDiablo
yes!

Why are hotdog sausages in packs of 10 when the hotdog rolls are in packs of 6?
to make you buy more

Why do they call them hotdogs? Should we rather called hotlongs?
we should call them 'tubes of horrid shit'

I wonder why they haven't made mice flavoured cat food?
cats don't like to eat mice... they like to play with them

When dog food says it is a new and improved flavour, what the hell do they mean by that? The dog will not care about the new and improved flavour.
how does one exactly improve something that is new? they are lying, as that is what marketing is

How was your valentines day DC?i got groped...grr..stupid men...other than that..all good~SG*
it was a day like any other and punch the freak if you don't like it

what would you do if I pushed you into a cold bog marsh that was filled with trash, sewage water, and old furniture?--Syko Morgana
well let me tell you... i'd be pretty pissed and then i would claim all the furniture as mine... clean them up a bit... bring them on tv to some antique apprasing person and have them tell me it's worth millions... then i'd sell it for millions and then find you to throw dirt in your face

Do you like eggnog?--Syko Morgana
no i find it repulsive

When is the last time(besides now) that you heard someone say "that's sinchy!" or "that's a sinch!"--Syko Morgana
i would have to say i haven't heard that for years

Apparently the best things in life are free, and yet people say that nothing is free in this world. What's the deal with that? McDiablo
people lie... the best things in life are free but everyone is trying to sell it to you because they are greedy liars

Do you have a favourite Looney Tune character? McDiablo
hmmmm... probably that sheepdog (can't remember if his name is ralph or sam) but he always stops the coyote from getting the sheep ... he kicks ass without trying

What do you think my friend (girl) would do if I (also girl) suddenly kissed her for no apparent reason? This isn't a stupid relationship question, I just would like to know if I should be equippped with pepperspray in case of retaliation
well if your friend is a mace-toting kinda gal then i'd say lay off on the sudden moves... if not then try it... maybe she'll just strangle you or punch you though... so be ready to duck and run

How do you make cows angry?
call them 'boys'... throw eggs at them... eat them for dinner

Ok you know that Questionnaire question you had a while back about the joke with the three-legged cat? Yeah, where did you hear that? It sounds to me like the kind of question you would ask in order to settle an argument. Am I right in any way? FartMonkey
i heard it from somewhere and then my mom got it wrong and instead of saying 'i'm looking for the man that shot my paw' she said the cat said 'where's my paw?'

Ok, say that I pretended to be a fortune teller and I somehow conned someone into believing that I actually did tell the future. I tell this person that later today they will die a slow horrible death that will take hours and hours and they believe me. Then he goes home and shoots himself in the head to spare himself the agony of his foretold gruesome death. What do you think the chances are? If I am charged, do you think that it would be a wise decision to change my name and move to Canada? FartMonkey
if the chances were high i'd encourage you to tell more people that they're going to die... and it's a wise decision to come up here as long as you get a non-polluting car or something

how can dogs smell fear
with their noses

"people who send you links without any explanation as to what they are to etc" suck... Well, the ...com/fluffy.jpg is sort of a hairball. - Omuletzu (happy not to suck anymore). Question? Yeah, ok. When is this damn winter gonna finish?
i don't know when the winter will end but i've had enough of the horrid driving caused by it

why do you want me to choke on chocolate? that is very hurtful. you hurt my feelings. why?--Syko Morgana
i think i said just a little bit... so i should have only hurt your feelings a little bit...

I haven't ranted in a while. Is it okay if I rant here? Well, it all starts when the Domain Registration company wouldn't update the DNS settings of my site to point at my new servers and I haven't be able to do anything to my site for the better part of 4 days and it's pissing me off. I'm getting a backlog again, just when I was getting on top of the whole mess. Then my boss actually has work for me at the exact point when I'm too busy to be fucking around with the piss poor jobs he gives me anyway and I've got two 10,000 word dissertations due in in May. Plus we're all about to die in a big war. Isn't life grand? Pasta for tea again tonight? - Mzebonga
no life isn't grand and yea

Do you want to be a slave in heaven or rule in hell? Nerull
i don't believe in either

So what's with all the What If questions that have to do with different beings forcing us to eat dirt? Do you secretly have a thing for dirt? Is there anything that you'd like to share with us? FartMonkey
i have a thing for wanting to make others eat dirt

how do i learn to type in a Canadian Accent? - Kyo
a canadian accent? i've heard of a newfoundland accent, a quebec accent and other such things.. but a canadaian one? i think you're confused... there is no way that all of us in this huge country all speak alike

i had to fill out my application for the music program today.. do you hate applications as much as i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes i do... and the multiple signatures required

is it ok to feel relieved that i don't have a midterm today even though McDiablo is taking one right now as i sit on my couch? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes it is... enjoy

i think my mom is catching on to the fact that i get slurpees pretty much everyday.. what should i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater
disquse them in tim horton or other coffee cups

why did the chip company change the bags of the good barbeque chips? i haven't had those kinda since high school cuz i thought they were gone.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
they like to do that sort of thing to distract you from the ingredient changes

I hate smuggling outside food into movie theaters. My family is always sneaking in with bags of stuff and making elaborate plans. Would they even say anything if we carried in bags of fast food out in the open? I don't see anywhere that it says we can't bring outside food. Anywho, in order to be on top of the elaborate plans is my diabolical and elaborate plan: I will kill someone. Then I will take off their skin neatly. Then I will install a zipper so that their skin can be used as a sealable sack. I will put foreign food inside the corpse-sack and put it in a wheelchair and talk to it casually. Do you have an even more elaborate plan for smuggling food? FartMonkey
i say try it out in the open and see what they say.... and why don't you just eat before going? are you falling prey to their subliminal messages to eat eat eat eat eat?

For almost 7 years now I have not voluntarily worn shorts to school. I say voluntarily because this year I was forced to wear a stupid and degrading gym uniform, though I frequently don't change into it. Do I have a problem? Is this a trace of sanity? FartMonkey
no shorts are not for everyone... i say if you don't like them then don't wear them... i go around pantless

Ever just sit down and try to figure out just what the heck "antidisestablishmentarianism" means? FartMonkey
don't try to impress me with big words... we all know what it means...

Would you be interested to know that I have alternating obsessions (depending on my mood): cheese, duct tape, cookie dough, anti-comma-ness, pointy objects, and fire? FartMonkey
i found that slightly interesting... so thanks for the update

Once in one of those public grill dealies they have in parks, myself and a couple of friends set fire to a barbie. It was really cool, but we couldn't take pictures or anything cuz the ranger came and made us stop. Do I get points for this? (Note: the barbie had sickening amounts of pink clothing. Actually she didn't have a lot of clothing on, I mean, come on, it was a barbie...what I mean is the majority of the clothing that she DID have was pink...*shudder*) FartMonkey
yes you do get points... lighting fire to things such as barbies is always good

You see, if scientists have invented ways to suck the fat out, why can't they invent some kind of a way to put it back in? What surgery should Britney get next? Nose Job, Face Lift, Just get her braces! Suck the fat out of her butt! Put the fat from her butt in her lips! Why not encourage school kids to suck the fat off the lab rabbit's stomach and put it back in its cheeks? Aw, that's cute! Talking about fat, LIPOSUCTION is when they suck the fat out of you. Is FATOSUCTION is when they suck your lips off you?
anyone who does that shit is stupid... get off your ass and work it off... as for brittney... her head should be removed because she sure as hell isn't using it... and enough about fat already

What's the difference between 4WD and AWD? Does AWD mean that tha spare wheel is powered too? (And fix that Quanity thing, please.) - Omuletzu
fix what? i fix nothing... it's all raw and hardcore spelling here... and yes awd means the spare tire is powered too... it helps a lot and you should invest in it

Why are the commercals on TV becoming more entertaining, and amusing then the actual tv shows?
are you kidding? the whole thing is just commercials if you're not watching some learning show... i'm beginning to hate the tv

can i have permission to break her face?--Syko Morgana
only if she actually deserves it and won't give you shiny things

what do you think would be the worse way to die??--Syko Morgana
to live to be well over 100 but not have use of my body... just able to feel it hurting

how do you feel right now knowing that I am forever a part of your life??--Syko Morgana
i feel kinda ill... but kinda ok

why do i get the constant urge to whack/poke things with sticks - Lithanial
isn't that a normal thing? that's how i feel

CAN A PENIS REALLY BREAK
if you freeze it and then shatter it yes

Are college students expected to read on their Reading Break? McDiablo
yes... so read! read good things though... and comics count

Would you like to join me in beating Miss Roger's Sweater with a stick for taking a class on a Friday night? McDiablo
yes... but my reasons for beating her are my own... mostly because she wouldn't share her slurpee when i just wanted a SIP...

Do you like a little cream cheese on your bagels? McDiablo
yes i do...

how old are you, almighty DC?
25

i had a necklace and it was a coffin. i've worn it every day since i bought it 2 months ago. last night i went to a hockey game(buffalo vs. montreal) and on the car ride there i noticed that part of the coffin was gone. i'm really sad about this and today was a really bad day because of it and i had a really good relationship with the guy in the coffin. i want to buy another one but the person who controls my cash intake won't give me money. i can't get a job becuse i'm too young and there is no other way to get money. how can i get money? irish psycho ps please don't tell me prostitution or a papre route because the person is neurotic and i'm not allowed to walk around the block by myself. i'm not 7 years old either which is probably what u are thinking now. please help me dc i'm really lonely without my dead man
i say you do some 'chores' so the person who controls your money gives you more... but negotiate BEFORE you do the chores or you will be screwed over... then when you buy a new coffin man, duct tape the little freak in there so he can never leave you again and tell him if he does you will snap his tiny plastic head off...

Why does everyone want to take over the world? why is it always about taking over the world? what the hell is so damn great about the world anyway? It's a hat full of assholes! - SiNiSTaR
well if you take over then you can tell them what to think... i say we just sterilize them through their drinking water and it will sort itself out

Did you know that the song "Mary Had a Little Lamb" is actually full of satanic verses when you play it backwards? - SiNiSTaR
of course... it's all i listen to... bmal elttil a dah yram... bmal elttil ... bmal elttil ...

Why do aliens enjoy giving people anal probes?
they are trying to speak with us and got that saying 'talking out your ass' translated wrong

All the phycologists say that I am The Insane Sex Monster, what does this mean?
ok first of all, your stuffed animals are not psychologists no matter what they tell you... they are just messing with your head so light them on fire and start listening to the pictures on your wall...

Why is the Red head not green anymore?
it's a chameleon head and since there was lots of red on the site it changed

I was driving back home in the middle of the night, when a drunk homeless man walked right into my car. Unfortunately he did not survive and was given a poormans grave. I didn't do anything wrong, he walked in front of me before I could do anything. Now lately all the homeless people, hobos and bums are appearing out of nowhere and have been following me all around. Are they plotting against me? What can I do?
yes they are plotting against you but that is over something else... as for the drunk dead guy, it just proves that drinking can kill you

That freek that kept on saying 'suck the fat' should have tons of fat shoved inside of him and dumped out in the sea so the whales can use him as a large ball to play with. Don't you agree?
mostly yes...

The process of "eating someone's ass" is a process of licking someone's ass. Do you think there have ever been linguistic problems between nations where somebody actually ate another person's ass? - Mzebonga
i'm sure it has occurred... and i bet one or two of them liked it... wait a minute... you're just trying to get me to say the word ass.... damnit! you did it again!

I looove this word!! Arachnonecropheliac I think I spelled it right..That word is pretty cool!don't ya think?i'm gonna name my band that...mehheheh...~SG*
pretty? i wouldn't say that...

what kind of dirt are you going to throw in my face? Please don't throw the kind with rocks in them. There are also old childrens plastic pools in the bog marsh. What will you do with those?--Syko Morgana
i'll scoop out some mud and fling it at you....

What do you think of peter rabbit??--Syko Morgana
i say screw peter rabbit and everything the furry freak stands for

i was reading over some of the older questionaires and i saw one that asked what the craziest thing was that you've done drunk or high. What is the craziest thing you've done while drunk or high, DC? --Syko Morgana
i don't remember exactly and what i do remember doesn't make any sense at all...

is this German lady going to totally fuck my hair up tomorrow when I go get it cut?? Im scared.--Syko Morgana
yes she is but that's ok... it will grow back... mostly

why does my earwax smell like turky?
why are you smelling it? you should be eating it if anything...

will u shoot me if i pay u a lot of money? irish psycho
yes

have u had enough time to develope an opinion about the name russell? irish psycho
i don't want to develop an opinion on that name... and you can't make me

if someone told u that they hated me what would u do? a.beat them with a stick b.say "haha! good joke!" c.send them farawy to a psychiatric institute or d.send me their name, number, and address so i could thank them? irish psycho
who cares what they think?

is it ok to wear the same sweatshirts and jeans every week if u are not a slave to fashion? (obviously, i am not) irish psycho
sure why not...

do u like yourself the way u are? irish psyho
sure... if i didn't then i would change what i didn't like...

why do people like to lie? irish psycho
makes them feel like they are smarter then the person they are lying to

DC, I need to name my four walls and ceiling...can you suggest some names for me? I hate all but one of the walls and the ceiling is ok, although I briefly held a grudge against it when, many years ago, I was jumping on my bed and my skull collided with it at somewhere around 45 MPH. FartMonkey
you need to discuss this with your walls to determine what names suit them.. and did the wall make you bleed?

Where's your mom? Where's your mama? FartMonkey
she's probably at home trying to send me emails...

How come recently whenever I need to say something urgently (like STOP!) but I can't think of the word, I just start repeating over and over "Chicken is good. Chicken is good" ? FartMonkey
i'm not sure because chicken is not good... not good at all... i think you need a slap to the back of the head... want me to do it?

Does it ever annoy you when people that are from the USA ask if they have McDonalds in Canada? Or am I actually the first one to care? FartMonkey
they ask stupid questions all the time i just ignore them... especially when people who live 2 hours away from the border ask the people who live two hours above the border if it's snowing there in JULY... get a clue

This isn't really a question, but I just felt the need to attempt to share it with you: When you're out in the middle of the ocean,and the water is blue and the sky is blue, so the whole world consists only of a little line running across the middle. FartMonkey
i'd scream... have a panic attack and pass out

Do TV commercals have subliminal messages in them, that are there just to tick people off?
no that's what the images and jingles are for

did you give me a monkey?--Syko Morgana
no you didn't give me anything

Are we gonna eat a dolphin?--Syko Morgana
NO

Do you like to dance to Aboriginee tribal tunes? I do.--Syko Morgana
yes i do and it's fun

What would you do if I threw a bible at you and then ran out of the room screaming "cease the flowers! consume the rhino meat! the day of the lord has come! hide in your cubby holes!" and then drove off in your car?and then later crashed it into a swamp in louisanna where little girl were eating mushrooms because i was drunk on heineken?--Syko Morgana
i'd be pretty pissed about you giving me a bible and wrecking my car... but then i'd realize i don't have a car and i'd throw out the bible... then i wouldn't invite you over ever again...

Who gives a flying fuck about the grammy's, why wont everyone just shut up?--Syko Morgana
the what? oh those... award shows suck

i'm going to take an entrance exam to one of the top schools in my area. the place is called Nichols. they are really prestigious and i'm going there in an oversized sweatshirt and jeans. are they even going to let me in the front gate? will i pass? irish psycho
well if you want to be accepted you'll have to dress the part probably... do you want to be in a place that worries more about your clothing then your brain?

if pixies make pixie dust then do priests make angel dust? from sweeping the floor of their churches and putting the stuff in bags? irish psycho
priests are not angels...

going back to best things in life being free, why is free porn allways so crap? - Lithanial
you're obviously not getting your free porn in the best places... if you surf for porn then you're doing it all wrong... you have to use newsgroups and programs like kazaa... are you new to this?

why do i get so much junkmail?
well according to some people, it is sent by annoying idiots who like to do this sort of thing... but the truth is that junk mail has begun to breed and it is now able to spawn more junk mail without human intervention...

i think that is really true. you are obsessed with dirt and wanting to use it to hurt other people. espically me. yea but what's with you and dirt??--Syko Morgana
if i spit in it... it becomes mud

As cool as this site is what is your favorite site? and if you say this one ill hunt you down, tie you up and rape you up the ass with a baseball bat till you bleed out your eyes. - Lithanial
how do you know i wouldn't enjoy that? ... and one of my favorite sites is howstuffworks.com

whats up? why aren't we allowed to ridicule people? u do it all the time. irish psycho
i can do whatever i want so nah nah to you...

have u ever talked to a banana? i had a lovely conversation with one the other day. wait, was that the orange? irish psycho
yes i have but oranges and i don't speak to each other...

who is the most evil american u know? same goes for canada... irish psycho
well in my scope of the word 'evil' then i'd say i don't know any 'evil' americans personally... and i haven't met anyone i'd classify as 'evil' that is canadian either...

i want my monkey. wheres my monkey? irish psycho
sending money = getting monkey

What's the worst job that you ever had? Just curious. McDiablo
when i had to spend a day photocopying and punching holes in paper... that was so boring and shitty

Is it normal to crave cake the instant someone says that age old saying 'You can have your cake and eat it, too'...or is it 'can't'? I dunno. McDiablo
i don't see why you wouldn't eat your cake if you had it... how could you eat it if you didn't have it?

Would you know that I was asking a question even if I didn't sign my name? McDiablo
probably not... unless you made it obvious some other way

i'm in love with an irish band, and thats where my name came from. wheres your name from? irish psycho
it comes from the name-giver when i was created

You've not given out a good question award in yonks. Is this because people are getting worse, or because you're getting stingier? - Fido Dido
maybe it's both... and maybe the good question head and i aren't getting along....

What is the point of this site? You are one of those people that love to hear themselves talk. You defecate some inane bullshit from your mouth, in a weak attempt to be "weird and cool". But then, the people around you got so tired of hearing your moronic nonsence that they stay very far away from you and you are left alone, aside from the few other morons as stupid as you. But then (lightbulb!) You have an idea! "Maybe, if we write all of our stupid bullshit down, and put it on a website, people can't tell us to shut up!" So you do this, and like retarded flies on shit, you reel in more and more jackasses like yourself! Wow! You are a genius! Now all you need to do is have some kind of gay freakfest, invite all your faggot friends and give me the address so me and al my friends that hate you stupid posers can come beat the fuck out of you! ........and if your wondering why I'm on this site to begin with, I'll tell you. I happened upon it by mistake, thought, "Hey maybe there is something interesting here." Well there wasn't. Normally if something is stupid, I'll ignore it, but your site went so far beyond the realms of stupid, that I was compelled to let you know just how retarded you are. Have a nice day. PS, you listen to gay music, and aside from a few good movies that you probably put on this site so you could seem cool, you like gay movies. This leads me to believe that you and your friends are fucking homos. If you want to listen to "heavy" music, try Meshuggah, or Poison The Well...... maybe it will help steer you from the path of gayness to something not quite as bad.
hahahaha well your ample use of names like 'gay', and 'homo' are so threatening that i feel compelled to delete the whole website and rethink my whole existence... thanks for stopping by and reminding us all how stupid people are and giving us a good laugh... does your mom know you're at a grown up website?

honestly, given a choice between life or death... which is it? -EmprissNikon (and yes, i'm definately still drunk)
well i have no choice... death will come eventually.... and still drunk?! it's been days since we chatted on icq and you were drunk then! <to the others> we'll have to plan an intervention

why do u take so long? why don't u answer our q.s more often? i need to know what the sock monkey is going to say! its like..sniff...an addicton. irish psycho
how's this... you pay me and i'll do it every day since i won't have to go to a job!

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