what
should we do about the war in ireland? why won't the british leave
ireland? they have their own land they don't need ireland! cripes!
whats wrong with the goddamn british?!? will you help me get them
out of my home? irish psycho Do you have
any words of wisdom for the dumb of the world such as myself?
~JeEpY How come
when it rains in Vancouver they always say it is pouring cats
and dogs when really it is like mist?~JeEpY I really
like how the site looks now. Do you think I should buy those people
who worked on it a Slurpee or just give them a mental pat on the
back? McDiablo Did my friend
forget to come and pick me up? McDiablo What do
you do to get a song out of your head (that is basically repeating
the same line over and over and over etc.)? McDiablo As for my
hair-pulling-out question, I actually was referring to the hair
just on my head. Would you like me to count all of them for you?
FartMonkey How come
people look at me like I just swore when I call my dog (which,
yes, is female) a bitch? That's what she is! They don't flinch
when people call a female deer a doe! S'matta? What would
you do if I ran in circles for countless hours, whilst you are
locked in the same room with me and have access to a shotgun?
FartMonkey Why do people
run from me? FartMonkey Was Sanimal
born in a toilet? FartMonkey What would
you do if you cut yourself really bad and discovered that your
insides were all metal and that you were really a robot? FartMonkey Will the
media's brief obsession with Xena the Warrior Princess ever reoccur?
FartMonkey Well, I
have asked everyone else, and now you: Do you have my tie? FartMonkey Why is the
fact that I know the guitar I was playing a minute ago is worth
$20,000+ make me want to go out onto the driveway and smash it
even more? FartMonkey I hate it
when people laugh at you because of some dumb inside joke they
have and then they won't tell you about it. Don't you hate that?
What can I do to those people? FartMonkey dammit!lol
i think it's green and long..and skinny..but teacher said now
and laughed...do you like Yaoi?(guy on guy)sorry..had to ask..~SG* Hey DC,
whats goin on? I am just getting back into free time to journey
here. But then I was just notified 2day that I will have 2 go
for jury duty. DC, what do you think of Jury Duty?--InsaneLane I am sure
I have already asked you this but: What happens when you weld
the barrels of two guns together and fire them at the same time?
Well, I can guess what happens, really I just want to see it.
Want to try it with me? FartMonkey hey dc i
filled out the what-if's but i got this error message so i dont
know if it went threw, is there any way you can check?--Syko Morgana why did
you go and have an ear job? i liked your cute fat little sausage
ears.... are you sure that's even you??? Or is it some evil clone
that wants to take over the world?? - SiNiSTaR have you
heard that IRRITATING cheeky girls song that goes 'touch my bum'?
what does that music make you feel like doing?? It makes me feel
like killing myself. - SiNiSTaR DC, do you
like oranges? I find oranges so interesting. I like to break them
open and examine the little "orange capsules." I like
to eat them all one by one so the orange lasts for several hours.
In my opinion, an orange is the greatest marvel in the fruit family,
well, except the tomatoe, but thats just cuz of its long standing
existance as the black sheep of the family that noone wants to
talk about.--InsaneLane is it ok
if i go and cry in my emo corner? - Miss Roger's Sweater i have made
a makeshift desk out of my bass guitar hard case and a couple
small wooden chairs.. resourceful or retarded? - Miss Roger's
Sweater why is this
website being mean to me? - Miss Roger;s Sweater Why do we
call it GASOLINE when it is not a gas? Should we rather call it
LIQUIDINE? Last night
I had this dream... I dreamt that I was in a great big hall. But
I was not alone, there was tens of me's, hundreds of me's, thousands
of me's... What does this mean to me? Can you
guve me a price estimate on this wedge of cheese? FartMonkey The entrance
to your site has a message to 'those who cry easily'. Has someone
actually cried upon viewing your site? McDiablo My cat's
name is Pepper. With a name like that, my mom seems to have come
up with a lot of nicknames for her: Pepperoni, Peppermint, Peps,
Peppy, etc. Is my cat annoyed by this? McDiablo When a site
is being slow, is it all right to sing to it...."Oh, hurry
up...please hurry up..." ? McDiablo When will
my quest for a good answer award end? FartMonkey What are
7 things that you should never do in the presence of angry parrots?
FartMonkey Ever wear
ties? FartMonkey "The
chickens are wearing tuxedos. The music makes me troubled. Blood.
Blooooooooood. It's all happening again. Mommy? Mommy? I can't
see that far. I can't stop shaking. I can't stop. I can't stop.
The voices won't let me. Shh! Don't talk about them...they are
watching...I will be punished...so many chickens.." If you
had to rate this on a scale of 1-10, was this a good chunk of
insane rambling? FartMonkey How come
dogs don't know it's not bacon? And, can YOU believe it's not
butter? I can. FartMonkey Last year
for art, it was required that a purchase some special paint brushes.
The end of the year rolled around and I never once used them.
Now I am stuck with them. What should I do? FartMonkey You say
in your list of rules not to ask any one word questions. I recall
somebody asking Why? and you answered it. Who is to blame? FartMonkey You know
the little pictures that are all around your site, like the one
next to 'featured items for now', did you guys take those yourselves
or steal them from others? And are the pictures of you guys really
pictures of you guys? FartMonkey What if
you found out that everybody that asks you questions is really
just one person using a bunch of different names? FartMonkey What about
the war that's probably coming? - Omuletzu what did
you want to be when you grew up?-Syko Morgana what is
the circumfrence of a hot chocolate ass?--Syko Morgana why do people
who drive hondas think that their cars are faster than cars with
v8 engines?--Syko Morgana Who created
ding dongs?--Syko Morgana WHAT DO
YOU THINK A THEME FOR OUR SCHOOLS 9&10 GRADE SEMI SHOULD BE?
~BLAH why do monkeys
have assholes? If I sent
you a bunch of money and possessions, would you leave me some
stuff when you died? FartMonkey How can
I shake hands with 6:45 AM? A coffee commercial just said to do
that. Really. FartMonkey What is
there currently no world record for, so that I can set a world
record for it? FartMonkey What causes
insanity? FartMonkey If both
hail and clowns supposedly come from the sky, how come we never
see frozen clowns plummeting towards the earth? Well, maybe YOU
do..I've only seen them in dreams. FartMonkey How does
each different color make you feel? FartMonkey Is it OK
to warn screaming children on planes that if they scream any more
their windows will crack and break and they'll get sucked out
of the plane? FartMonkey DC...if
i have a lesbian friend who is real sexy, along with myself, and
we came over, can we have hot wild monkey sex like me and you
did the other night? or do we have to pay this time? why does
FartMonkey ask so many questions? - Miss Roger's Sweater did you
know that 7eleven sells 'one size fits all panty hose'? - Miss
Roger's Sweater Rephrase
- what do you think of war? Is it necessary? - Omuletzu I am stuck
and bored at work right now. What can I do to make it better? I was walking
down street, when a young beautiful blonde woman rode up to me
on her bicycle and stopped, threw down the bike, undressed herself
naked, threw down her clothes and layed down on the ground. lying
before me naked with her limbs outstretched she told me to take
what I see, so I took her bike and clothes and rode off. Did I
do something wrong? Because people said I did. How has
my dad been able to get up before 5am for work for all these years?
I am barely able wake up before 10am now. McDiablo Is it weird
that Miss Roger's Sweater and I tend to quote our instructors?
McDiablo How is it
that an inanimate object, like a computer, is able to cause so
much frustration within a person? McDiablo hey you
bastard! you did it again! Why did you erase that question..you
know what im talking about! can i at least get an answer as to
why you deleted it?--Syko Morgana did you
really change your fat little sasuage ears? Thats weird..sock
monkey cosmetic surgery. you should be ashamed. cant you just
be happy with the body that your mom gave you?--Syko Morgana Wow I am
amazed my friends go to 7eleven and I miss out cuz I am studying
for a test.. is there something wrong with me? ~JeEPy How come
when I am going to school I procrastinate till I have like 2 mins
and I have nothing ready to go? ~JeEpy Me and my
imaginary friend have been going round the bend, for some time
now, for some time now. Me and Timmy Turd are getting troubled
being heard, above the background hum, above the background hum.
My and Barry C are going down to Connah's Quay, for all your Telecaster
dreams, a Telecasters all you need.. But
back to the point in hand, yes or blue? - Fido Dido Hey DC,
if Jesus humped my lama...would you? static in
the phone, why? and whats with all those birds flying over me? will you
help me? i'd like to start a campaign for emo destruction. this
idea was originally proposed by spazz and backed up by the ghost
of gg allin, darby crash, and that guy who committed suicide from
reagan youth. now to be honest, i have nothing against the music
itself, and i do like some emo bands- but their "emotional"
nature and lyrics often come off as forced melodrama, because
it is. it's like you took the lyrics from a shitty nu-metal song,
improved the vocabulary and put it to some bad indie music. also,
that whole faux-nerdy act they have is bullshit. most of the emo
kids i know are prep kids in disguise. this is a plague- lets
do something about it. are you up for it, dc? what is
a Wickle Wacky Wonky Tonker?--Syko Morgana do you have
a favorite question that you've been asked on here, or a favorite
answer in the what if/questionare part???--Syko Morgana is this
fun sometimes? What percentage
of your daily time do you spend swinging from chandeliers? FartMonkey When do
i get my free cheezburger ? Hey,DC,
do you find me attractive ? Why the
heck is Bush such an idiot and wants to kill everyone?? ~JeEpY "long
and green"..*ish talking about the spleen*lol ok,well..I
meant watching guy on guy..not in guy on guy...entertaining for
meee!^_^..ok..what's on tv?~SG* Why won't
you answer questions about photosynthesis, what DC stands for,
sterilizing needles, 24 hour stores or Britney Spears? Do you
have something to hide? -Schizoid Just when
I thought my family was getting over their illnesses, my brother
becomes sick again. Will my family ever get well again? McDiablo Was my Poems
and Novels instructor drunk last night? (he walked into the overhead)
McDiablo What do
you do when you're bored and stuck in a room against your will?
McDiablo what is
it with george bush? why exactly is he such a cock? and why exactly
does america feel this overwhelming need to claim total world
domination? love from the communist queen I have an
incredible urge to light someones toe on fire... who would be
willing to let me do this to them? ~NSuxbum exactly
how many hard-ons do guys usually have per day? just wondering,
it must be bothersome to have wood for no reason. and what is
the fastest time for having an orgasm, for a male? i've heard
it to be under a minute. very quick. i know from experience in
giving lapdances it can happen in 10-5 min. but a minute? clue
me in to the penis mystery. How do they
make wicker furniture? How come the little sticks don't break
when they bend them into the shapes of chairs, etc. ? FartMonkey What happens
if I try to step in all directions at once? What happens when
YOU try to step in all directions at once? FartMonkey Which is
better, fire, cheese, or knives? FartMonkey I recently
had a dream wherein I was attacked by striped commas. I think
my english teacher is causing me to have strange (well, stranger
than usual) dreams. What should I do to her? FartMonkey If I bury
an egg in the ground, will an eggplant grow? FartMonkey What are
the chances that my computer will explode and send me to the hospital
for many months? How can I increase these chances? FartMonkey Does it
anger cows when stupid humans drive past, stick their head out
the car window, and go "MOOOO"? FartMonkey i was just
flipping through the channels on my tv and i came across a 13
year old boy singing eminems song only it was about meat. this
was on a childs television station. how wrong is that? how can
they defile eminem like that? or a childs mind for that matter?
what the hell is wrong with people? irish psycho so what
about michael jackson? How come
1+1 and 1x1 have the same answer, but 2+2 and 2x2 don't? FartMonkey Where can
I obtain some silver bullets? FartMonkey Can you
explain to be what exactly goes on when you get electrocuted?
FartMonkey What happens
if I put a AAA battery on my toungue? How about a D battery? A
car battery? FartMonkey Why is it
that all my classes (supposedly) are of equal length, but french
is the only class that seems to last about 6 hours? Note: My other
classes are not 6 hours. FartMonkey What should
I name my new flyswatter? FartMonkey My brother
used to respect goaltender Curtis Joseph, but ever since he got
traded to the Detroit Red Wings...well, all I can say is he was
truly crushed. Will my brother ever be able to respect someone
again? McDiablo Does candy
ever really go bad? McDiablo Why is the
American news so soap opera-ish? McDiablo Why do beer
companies have to have funny, or, uh, "funny", commercials
on TV? McDiablo Can you
teach me how to go into auto drive??? ~JeEpy How come
when you go shopping and you are trying to find one thing you
can never find it? ~JeEpy How come
when you go to 7eleven with Miss Rogers Sweater and "the
other one" you just can't say no to a slurpee?? ~JeEpy ah,I see,good
job!..i have no idead what to ask...sorry!~SG* Why don't
you update people that suck ? The letters
in SAnimal stands for Stupid Abnormal Nasty Idiotic Moron Ass
Loser. Do you agree that I have basicly described him? can i cover
you with syrup and roll you in cornmeal?--Syko Morgana does your
cat want to come over to my house tonight for bbq eagle?--Syko
Morgana Hi my little
barrel monkey,yay I got a good answer thing for that my first
in ages. I thought you'd like it. Anyway hows life treating you?
Whats for dinner? Can you spank the monkey ?Miss you heaps,catch
you soon.Your best friend ever Sally Can you
tell me the orgin of the word monkey?-Pancake Should I
wear black this Valentine's Day and proceed to stand on a street
corner and yell about who St. Valentine REALLY was and go on about
how he didn't give a box of chocolates to his wife? McDiablo Got anything
planned during the summertime? Yes, I am thinking ahead. McDiablo I have read
three out of the seven books I must finish this semester. Can
I do it...can I? McDiablo He he...I
know someone who was called the walking 7eleven because shes open
24 hours a day. what do you think of this?~NSuxbum why do people
say "can i ask you a question?" isnt that cheating?--Syko
Morgana who is writing
the nurse on acid?i like it.--syko morgana If a hippie
drops and breaks the big glass bong,and subsequntly get another
big glass bong for free from sympathetic hippie friends, then
tavels through time to stop the first bong from ever breaking..(whew..)
does the stoner in question get to keep both bongs? If you deliberately
put up the little dealie that says "The Good Question Award
is awarded to those with good questions, but you won't get one",
does that mean you intend to never again give out another good
question award? What is the lack of meaning of this nonsense?
FartMonkey Do you or
any of your sock monkey friends ever wear Converse sock monkey
shoes? FartMonkey I found
a device in my basement it says DANGE! LE NUCLEA BOMBE Shit! I
wish I did french so I could understand what it says. There is
this big red button on it, should I press it and see what happens? DC finds
a magic latern in his attic and rubs it hoping for a genie to
come out, and one does! The Genie starts laughing and then gets
a serious look on his face, he grabs DC with his large burly hands
and puts his thumb on DC's head. The Genie then says: "ARE
YOU GOING TO GRANT ME 3 WISHES, OR AM I GOING TO CRUSH YOU TO
A PULP?" Quanity
does NOT equal quality. Bullshit! There is 7 letters in both words,
so both take up the same volume, also in terms of data storage
in computers they take up the same space. Am I right or what? It's 6:41
AM . It's a tuesday... Am i going to school ?-NNY Why don't
chickens have lips ? whoa is
that really sanimals eye on the about us page? Will my
mom actually go to work even though she has to take these pills
for her back that make her feel kinda drowsy? McDiablo Why do they
sell miniature playing cards? McDiablo I really
don't understand this: I borrow things from my family members,
and I always put them back because I know they'll go crazy if
they can't find that thing that I borrowed. So, how come when
my family members borrow MY stuff, they never put it back where
they got it from? Is it really that difficult? McDiablo How do you
define the difference between being insane and lacking sanity?
- DS are you
like a wannabe guru? why do wierd
people lke us love monkeys so much? what do
i do with this table leg in my hand? why does
the shoe always fit? why is my
vision currently slightly blurry and my head is hurting.. am i
drunk? but i don't even drink.. at all.. well slurpees and water
but nothing alcoholic.. - Miss Roger's Sweater why is the
library so busy on a week night? - Miss Roger's Sweater oh my gahg!
so the 'english patient' isn't even from england? does that mean
i don't have to finish reading the book? - Miss Roger's Sweater am i going
to be able to write one more poem for my CW class tomorrow night?
my poetry has been pretty bad lately.. help.. - Miss Roger's Sweater You have
no genitals. How does that make you feel? Would you be scared
if I told you it made me slightly aroused? - Mzebonga Please tell
JCP to update her "Nothing really" page. It was just
getting less boring! Did she quit her job or something? Could
it be the Great Adventures of Unemployed JCP? Could it? Huh??
Could it?? -zOril how come
none of your sock monkeys have braces? who are
you calling fancy pants? I'll find out who wrote Nurse on Acid,
eat their brains, and then find you and rip your little stuffings
out and..and...*crys*..Im sorry DC. im being mean. will you forgive
me?--Syko Morgana cheese is
quite simply a delightful treat, yes?--Syko Morgana are you
in love with ronald mcdonald or what? i can totally tell!--Syko
Morgana Jay Leno
or David Letterman?(say leno or Ill kill you)--Syko Morgana i just woke
and there is a table leg in my hand......................what
happened? how did
you get a paper cut on your ass? why is there
a sock monkey in my underwear dresser? Why won't
my car start when it's so cold outside? I'm serious so I want
a serious answer. The engine starts but stops immediately. And
when I get home from work (a bit warmer, but not a lot) it starts
like nothing was ever wrong. - Omuletzu P.S. Don't answer that
it's mocking me, I already thought of that and it is possible.
I have ignored the broken exhaust pipe for too long so the car
might be mad at me. Did you
miss me? - Omuletzu What's the
a sock monkey's brain made of and how does it work? - Omuletzu What's
"Quanity"? What the (#*@^$ do you mean by "Quanity
does NOT equal quality."?? - Omuletzu In MK there
was this fighter called Sub Zero. Does that mean that he's less
than a zero, like such a bad fighter? - Omuletzu What's the
greatest one-word question you know? - Omuletzu Nah, that's
not a good question. Please wait while I'm thinking of another
one.How
can you help me be a better human being? - Omuletzu
Should I
understand that you think TV is bad for kids? What is your problem
with stupid brats and their parents? What is SAnimal's problem
with kids? Are your problems related? How can we tell if 2 people
can or cannot turn out to be great parents. And finally, don't
you think there are enough adults that are worse than the stupid
little brats? (Sorry about "Don't send in lots and lots of
questions at once.", but the questions are related) - Omuletzu What do
you think of schizoids ?-NNY I think
that Mcdonalds fries and chocolate xshake are about the nastiest
but tastiest combo... -NNY Could you
rate my short story 1-10?: Once there was a penguin named Thurg.
Thurg was a bad penguin. He carried around matches. When he got
mad at an eskimo, he would start a fire and melt the eskimo's
igloo. One day Thurg got in a fight with an eskimo and melted
his igloo. The eskimo came out and beat him up and took his matches
and dropped him off a cliff. Thurg didn't melt any more igloos
after that because he was dead. FartMonkey So i was
walking down this alley way when i ran into god. an i was all
what the hell are you doin here? he said he wasnt there.. so i
said oh. then i said huh? then he told me "ask DC why he
was imagining me ?" does that make any sense? Kyoritsu. Ok quaters
are a quarter of a dollar right an nickles are made of nickle
but what about pennies or dimes.... what im really trying to ask
here is.. do you have a pocket? there were
2 banners now i see only one, id kinda well i kinda liked 2 banners....
whats up man?-kyoritsu dont you
hate it when your gettin under someones skin an they get all pissed
of and stabb you with a medium sized type knife, forceing you
to bleed cosequenlty mixing your blood with theirs and you have
to whatch it all spill out that damn medium sized type knife hole?
well doan-cha?? - Kyoritsu ok... my
mom has a boyfriend who breaks every thing, does drugs, spends
all her money ,and cries ALL THE TIME, i mean this is a grown
man, plus he watches dragon ball z and wrestling all day... how
do i get rid of him?-creepy_rubber_duckey whats up
with all th posers these days?- creepy_rubber_ducky Are you
anti-valentines day? My friend and I are bitter single people,
and spent the day giving out rusty nails to couple and jeering
at them. - Fido Dido when is
the tuna stretch mark festival, and should we bring picket signs
and riot gear?--Syko Morgana Will you
smoke this fatty with me? I HAVE SOME CHEEEEEEESE!--Syko Morgana Why are
you so great?--Syko Morgana Have you
ever voluntarily sucked up to anyone? FartMonkey I now attack
the phrase "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar",
and the people who are always saying it to me. FIRST of all, I
myself do not wish to CATCH flies at all, I only want them to
not land on my food or make their annoying buzzing sound resonate
in my skull for hours at a time. Secondly, is there any meaning
to this? Did people at any time actually try to catch flies with
honey or vinegar? What kind of retard would try to catch anything
with vinegar anyway?? What should I do to the people who say this,
and do you have any additional rantings to add? FartMonkey Is it just
that only the songs I hate get stuck in my head, or is it that
a song I kind of like gets stuck in my head and repeats over and
over a gazillion times until I hate it and want to kill everyone?
FartMonkey Who is your
daddy, and what does he do? - Kyo do you know
a young girl named barbara?....seems to me that only old and older
women are named barbara. Hmmm.. Why aren't
more things from Des Moines? - Elf Munky Do you have
a good answer?Do
you have a "really" good answer? - Kyoritsu why do i
keep having email sent to me about increasing the size of my penis
when i have never signed up to recieve such information? I DONT
EVEN HAVE A PENIS! does my computer just randomly sign me up to
stupid mailing lists? can I have
some chocolate now?--Syko Morgana do you have
a secret you want to tell me??...--Syko Morgana how come
everytime a german comes up to me and starts speaking to me in
german and i tell them I dont speak German, they continue speaking??Should
I resort to violence?--Syko Morgana whats your
phone number again? i lost it.....--Syko Morgana in the "about
u" section, in the "choose a color" thing, why
did u make all the colors bright? i swear to god they slapped
me in the face after i'd been staring at the rest of your site(which
is lovely and dark-thank u) i got a goddamn slap in the face when
i clicked that icon. now that i thought about i, that was the
idea. still, why couldn't u put some nice deep color like blood
or just plain black? irish psycho i'm adopting
a sock monkey and the person i live w/ thinks u people are going
to scam me. since i found u'r site and i've been coiming to it
for a while i trust u but they don't. i really want that sock
monkey, and it makes me sad. how can i make them trust u? irish
psycho will u make
a list of all the questions that got a stinky monkey butt award?
thanx, i'd really appresiate it. irish psycho theres some
scary looking freak driving down my street REALLY slow. is he
one of the freaks whose coming to take me to the beach? irish
psycho do u mind
me asking all these questions? i need to soak up the knowledge
from the almighty dc and i can only accomplish that by asking
questions. please don't mind, ok? irish psycho i hate myself.
i wish i was dead. would dc like to come rape me and then kill
me? please, i'm getting really desperate? some bitch i use 2
names when i ask questions. can that be considered a form of multiple
personalities? irish psycho do u like
my name? irish psycho if u could
do anything to your greatest enemy what would u do? who is your
greatest enemy? irish psycho do u like
the name russell? i think it's very weird. irish psycho when will
i stop fighting with my mom? irish psycho i miss the
ocean. i've gone to florida every year since i was 5 and i'm not
going this year i'm not going because my granpa died. am i selfish?
irish psycho Let me try
again! If the link doesn't work then it's either because you don't
want it to work or don't know how to use a computer (doubt that),
or it's just voodoo... or it got somehow converted to ucase -
everything must be in lowercase cause the damn thing is case sensitive.
So, who would you blame and what would you do if you found this
http://zort.topcities.com/fluffy.jpg
in your food? - Omuletzu One thing
I don't understand is why does everybody want natality to be higher
than mortality? We're 22 mil and we used to be 23 mil ppl. So
what? Will we miss them? Ok, in time the medium age of ppl will
go up and... are they afraid we'll become extinct?! Ha, ha, ha!
- Omuletzu I don't
know what's wrong with me lately. I... Damn! My internet connection
just died again! I feel like throwing everything out the window.
This computer is such a crap and I'm such a loser for not being
able to find something else to do. I can barely contain my rage
sometimes... always looking for something to consume it against.
I never find anything "worth" destroying so I end up
hurting myself by hitting something sturdy enough. Screaming would
do, but I'm a "civilised" human being and I'm not alone
in the house. I don't want to have to explain to my mother why
I'm screaming at 11PM. I feel like crying too. What do you think
of men who cry? It's all the same cause I can't cry. Stupid! And
confused cause I can't see a way out. I'll just have to wait for
things to become worse before they can get better. Money makes
the world go round. That's a lie. Magnetism does it, inertia,
mass... Money makes us hate each other cause of the envy. Money
makes some people more right than the others. Good things in this
world? Cats, dreaming (that's not in the world so it doesn't count),
music... and some more dreaming. Don't you find strange that I
like dreaming so much but I hate reading? Bad things in the world:
it's too big for what I want and what I want's too big for me.
(Damn, I'm beginning to sound like JCP's nothing really. Is that
good or bad? I could make a diary and leave you out of this but
it's better when someone actually reads it) People are bad and
the world is full of them. Sometimes I think that all they care
about is making it good for themselves, selfish, selfish, sel...
fish? When was the last time you ate fish and what was it? One
last thing. People all around seem to be content or even happy
with what they have. They laugh, tell stories... I don't understand
it. I don't see my life getting better. Will I feel better at
40? How about 50? Will I be happy at 70? Is that possible? - Omuletzu Does my
family make it seem hard to get on a chairlift? McDiablo Do you think
we should all have our own personal masseuse? I mean, you never
know when you need one, and when you do, a masseuse is never there.
McDiablo Why does
my instructor like the word 'propinquity' so much? McDiablo Does it
scare you to know that in my Poems and Novels class on Thursday
we talked about everything from f*cking (like my censoring?) to
necrophilia? McDiablo will you
sing me a song about donkies?--Syko Morgana i only have
two classes coming up this week.. does that make it alright for
me to slack off today? - Miss Roger's Sweater is the library
going to go to crap since i haven't been there at all this weekend?
- Miss Roger's Sweater isn't weird
how 1/3 of my creative writing class got haircuts last weekend?
i was feeling left out.. - Miss Roger's Sweater is it bad
that my aunt was screening her phone calls in case the lady from
church calls? - Miss Roger's Sweater Sometimes
I get so exited that I have dissipate the exitement with a muscle
spasm and a grunt, with a resulting ~neeh sound, any suggestions? Why do people
become insane? my computer
is being a bastard and it won't let me access my e-mail. what
should i do to my son-of-a-bitch computer? irish psycho can i have
herbert? please? i want to do him. irish psycho What is
the difference between a slim chance and a fat chance? i'm new
at this so don't go to hard on me. but is it just me or is it
hot in here? i'm really
sad. what should i do to make myself happyer? irish psycho Is it ok
to get mad at inanimate objects when they move? and if so is it
wrong to hit them? - Kyoritsu I didn't
get a valetine, awesome! Did you get one? I hope not! What's with
all the pens so suddenly? FartMonkey What's the
little ball inside the computer mouse made of and how come it's
so important? FartMonkey Since something
is wrong with either my computer or your form, I have to click
this submit button twice, as the first time I get an error message
and therefore must go back and try it again. Does this mean I'm
sending you everything twice? Were you getting ticked at me? Can
I ever be forgiven? FartMonkey How come
I feel horrible for not visiting "certain sites" within
a week? ~JeEpY is michael
jackson just a sick fuck??--Syko Morgana Why are
you on fire?! Can I put you out?--Syko Morgana Can you
finish the sentence? I, DC, am so great because.......--Syko Morgana does DC
eat napkins??--Syko Morgana is michael
jacksons sock monkey used to hide evidence Do you have
any political views? What do you think of a war on Iraq? - Fido
Dido wow not
one really good question last time... Toast anyone? - Kyo Concerning
condements: if you had to choose your 3 favorite condoments what
would they be?(personally I think Cholula is The best) - Kyoritsu Why oh why
is there so much reality TV? I had enough of it after the 2nd
'Survivor'. Will the mayhem ever end? McDiablo Will my
dad ever get the hang of working the DVD player? McDiablo To go with
the previous question, it seems my dad figured out how to select
scenes on the DVD. Should I give him a cookie? McDiablo Why are
hotdog sausages in packs of 10 when the hotdog rolls are in packs
of 6? Why do they
call them hotdogs? Should
we rather called hotlongs? I wonder
why they haven't made mice flavoured cat food? When dog
food says it is a new and improved flavour, what the hell do they
mean by that? The dog will not care about the new and improved
flavour. How was
your valentines day DC?i got groped...grr..stupid men...other
than that..all good~SG* what would
you do if I pushed you into a cold bog marsh that was filled with
trash, sewage water, and old furniture?--Syko Morgana
Do you like
eggnog?--Syko Morgana When is
the last time(besides now) that you heard someone say "that's
sinchy!" or "that's a sinch!"--Syko Morgana Apparently
the best things in life are free, and yet people say that nothing
is free in this world. What's the deal with that? McDiablo Do you have
a favourite Looney Tune character? McDiablo What do
you think my friend (girl) would do if I (also girl) suddenly
kissed her for no apparent reason? This isn't a stupid relationship
question, I just would like to know if I should be equippped with
pepperspray in case of retaliation How do you
make cows angry? Ok you know
that Questionnaire question you had a while back about the joke
with the three-legged cat? Yeah, where did you hear that? It sounds
to me like the kind of question you would ask in order to settle
an argument. Am I right in any way? FartMonkey Ok, say
that I pretended to be a fortune teller and I somehow conned someone
into believing that I actually did tell the future. I tell this
person that later today they will die a slow horrible death that
will take hours and hours and they believe me. Then he goes home
and shoots himself in the head to spare himself the agony of his
foretold gruesome death. What do you think the chances are? If
I am charged, do you think that it would be a wise decision to
change my name and move to Canada? FartMonkey how can
dogs smell fear "people
who send you links without any explanation as to what they are
to etc" suck... Well, the ...com/fluffy.jpg is sort of a
hairball. - Omuletzu (happy not to suck anymore). Question? Yeah,
ok. When is this damn winter gonna finish? why do you
want me to choke on chocolate? that is very hurtful. you hurt
my feelings. why?--Syko Morgana I haven't
ranted in a while. Is it okay if I rant here? Well, it all starts
when the Domain Registration company wouldn't update the DNS settings
of my site to point at my new servers and I haven't be able to
do anything to my site for the better part of 4 days and it's
pissing me off. I'm getting a backlog again, just when I was getting
on top of the whole mess. Then my boss actually has work for me
at the exact point when I'm too busy to be fucking around with
the piss poor jobs he gives me anyway and I've got two 10,000
word dissertations due in in May. Plus we're all about to die
in a big war. Isn't life grand? Pasta for tea again tonight? -
Mzebonga Do you want
to be a slave in heaven or rule in hell? Nerull So what's
with all the What If questions that have to do with different
beings forcing us to eat dirt? Do you secretly have a thing for
dirt? Is there anything that you'd like to share with us? FartMonkey how do i
learn to type in a Canadian Accent? - Kyo i had to
fill out my application for the music program today.. do you hate
applications as much as i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater is it ok
to feel relieved that i don't have a midterm today even though
McDiablo is taking one right now as i sit on my couch? - Miss
Roger's Sweater i think
my mom is catching on to the fact that i get slurpees pretty much
everyday.. what should i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater why did
the chip company change the bags of the good barbeque chips? i
haven't had those kinda since high school cuz i thought they were
gone.. - Miss Roger's Sweater I hate smuggling
outside food into movie theaters. My family is always sneaking
in with bags of stuff and making elaborate plans. Would they even
say anything if we carried in bags of fast food out in the open?
I don't see anywhere that it says we can't bring outside food.
Anywho, in order to be on top of the elaborate plans is my diabolical
and elaborate plan: I will kill someone. Then I will take off
their skin neatly. Then I will install a zipper so that their
skin can be used as a sealable sack. I will put foreign food inside
the corpse-sack and put it in a wheelchair and talk to it casually.
Do you have an even more elaborate plan for smuggling food? FartMonkey For almost
7 years now I have not voluntarily worn shorts to school. I say
voluntarily because this year I was forced to wear a stupid and
degrading gym uniform, though I frequently don't change into it.
Do I have a problem? Is this a trace of sanity? FartMonkey Ever just
sit down and try to figure out just what the heck "antidisestablishmentarianism"
means? FartMonkey Would you
be interested to know that I have alternating obsessions (depending
on my mood): cheese, duct tape, cookie dough, anti-comma-ness,
pointy objects, and fire? FartMonkey Once in
one of those public grill dealies they have in parks, myself and
a couple of friends set fire to a barbie. It was really cool,
but we couldn't take pictures or anything cuz the ranger came
and made us stop. Do I get points for this? (Note: the barbie
had sickening amounts of pink clothing. Actually she didn't have
a lot of clothing on, I mean, come on, it was a barbie...what
I mean is the majority of the clothing that she DID have was pink...*shudder*)
FartMonkey You see,
if scientists have invented ways to suck the fat out, why can't
they invent some kind of a way to put it back in? What
surgery should Britney get next? Nose Job, Face Lift, Just get
her braces! Suck the fat out of her butt! Put the fat from her
butt in her lips! Why not encourage school kids to suck the fat
off the lab rabbit's stomach and put it back in its cheeks? Aw,
that's cute! Talking about fat, LIPOSUCTION is when they suck
the fat out of you. Is FATOSUCTION is when they suck your lips
off you? What's the
difference between 4WD and AWD? Does AWD mean that tha spare wheel
is powered too? (And fix that Quanity thing, please.) - Omuletzu Why are
the commercals on TV becoming more entertaining, and amusing then
the actual tv shows? can i have
permission to break her face?--Syko Morgana what do
you think would be the worse way to die??--Syko Morgana how do you
feel right now knowing that I am forever a part of your life??--Syko
Morgana why do i
get the constant urge to whack/poke things with sticks - Lithanial CAN A PENIS
REALLY BREAK Are college
students expected to read on their Reading Break? McDiablo Would you
like to join me in beating Miss Roger's Sweater with a stick for
taking a class on a Friday night? McDiablo Do you like
a little cream cheese on your bagels? McDiablo how old
are you, almighty DC? i had a
necklace and it was a coffin. i've worn it every day since i bought
it 2 months ago. last night i went to a hockey game(buffalo vs.
montreal) and on the car ride there i noticed that part of the
coffin was gone. i'm really sad about this and today was a really
bad day because of it and i had a really good relationship with
the guy in the coffin. i want to buy another one but the person
who controls my cash intake won't give me money. i can't get a
job becuse i'm too young and there is no other way to get money.
how can i get money? irish psycho ps please don't tell me prostitution
or a papre route because the person is neurotic and i'm not allowed
to walk around the block by myself. i'm not 7 years old either
which is probably what u are thinking now. please help me dc i'm
really lonely without my dead man Why does
everyone want to take over the world? why is it always about taking
over the world? what the hell is so damn great about the world
anyway? It's a hat full of assholes! - SiNiSTaR Did you
know that the song "Mary Had a Little Lamb" is actually
full of satanic verses when you play it backwards? - SiNiSTaR Why do aliens
enjoy giving people anal probes? All the
phycologists say that I am The Insane Sex Monster, what does this
mean? Why is the
Red head not green anymore? I was driving
back home in the middle of the night, when a drunk homeless man
walked right into my car. Unfortunately he did not survive and
was given a poormans grave. I didn't do anything wrong, he walked
in front of me before I could do anything. Now lately all the
homeless people, hobos and bums are appearing out of nowhere and
have been following me all around. Are they plotting against me?
What can I do? That freek
that kept on saying 'suck the fat' should have tons of fat shoved
inside of him and dumped out in the sea so the whales can use
him as a large ball to play with. Don't you agree? The process
of "eating someone's ass" is a process of licking someone's
ass. Do you think there have ever been linguistic problems between
nations where somebody actually ate another person's ass? - Mzebonga I looove
this word!! Arachnonecropheliac I think I spelled it right..That
word is pretty cool!don't ya think?i'm gonna name my band that...mehheheh...~SG* what kind
of dirt are you going to throw in my face? Please don't throw
the kind with rocks in them. There are also old childrens plastic
pools in the bog marsh. What will you do with those?--Syko Morgana What do
you think of peter rabbit??--Syko Morgana i was reading
over some of the older questionaires and i saw one that asked
what the craziest thing was that you've done drunk or high. What
is the craziest thing you've done while drunk or high, DC? --Syko
Morgana is this
German lady going to totally fuck my hair up tomorrow when I go
get it cut?? Im scared.--Syko Morgana why does
my earwax smell like turky? will u shoot
me if i pay u a lot of money? irish psycho have u had
enough time to develope an opinion about the name russell? irish
psycho if someone
told u that they hated me what would u do? a.beat them with a
stick b.say "haha! good joke!" c.send them farawy to
a psychiatric institute or d.send me their name, number, and address
so i could thank them? irish psycho is it ok
to wear the same sweatshirts and jeans every week if u are not
a slave to fashion? (obviously, i am not) irish psycho do u like
yourself the way u are? irish psyho why do people
like to lie? irish psycho DC, I need
to name my four walls and ceiling...can you suggest some names
for me? I hate all but one of the walls and the ceiling is ok,
although I briefly held a grudge against it when, many years ago,
I was jumping on my bed and my skull collided with it at somewhere
around 45 MPH. FartMonkey Where's
your mom? Where's your mama? FartMonkey How come
recently whenever I need to say something urgently (like STOP!)
but I can't think of the word, I just start repeating over and
over "Chicken is good. Chicken is good" ? FartMonkey Does it
ever annoy you when people that are from the USA ask if they have
McDonalds in Canada? Or am I actually the first one to care? FartMonkey This isn't
really a question, but I just felt the need to attempt to share
it with you: When you're out in the middle of the ocean,and the
water is blue and the sky is blue, so the whole world consists
only of a little line running across the middle. FartMonkey Do TV commercals
have subliminal messages in them, that are there just to tick
people off? did you
give me a monkey?--Syko Morgana Are we gonna
eat a dolphin?--Syko Morgana Do you like
to dance to Aboriginee tribal tunes? I do.--Syko Morgana What would
you do if I threw a bible at you and then ran out of the room
screaming "cease the flowers! consume the rhino meat! the
day of the lord has come! hide in your cubby holes!" and
then drove off in your car?and then later crashed it into a swamp
in louisanna where little girl were eating mushrooms because i
was drunk on heineken?--Syko Morgana Who gives
a flying fuck about the grammy's, why wont everyone just shut
up?--Syko Morgana i'm going
to take an entrance exam to one of the top schools in my area.
the place is called Nichols. they are really prestigious and i'm
going there in an oversized sweatshirt and jeans. are they even
going to let me in the front gate? will i pass? irish psycho if pixies
make pixie dust then do priests make angel dust? from sweeping
the floor of their churches and putting the stuff in bags? irish
psycho going back
to best things in life being free, why is free porn allways so
crap? - Lithanial why do i
get so much junkmail? i think
that is really true. you are obsessed with dirt and wanting to
use it to hurt other people. espically me. yea but what's with
you and dirt??--Syko Morgana As cool
as this site is what is your favorite site? and if you say this
one ill hunt you down, tie you up and rape you up the ass with
a baseball bat till you bleed out your eyes. - Lithanial whats up?
why aren't we allowed to ridicule people? u do it all the time.
irish psycho have u ever
talked to a banana? i had a lovely conversation with one the other
day. wait, was that the orange? irish psycho who is the
most evil american u know? same goes for canada... irish psycho i want my
monkey. wheres my monkey? irish psycho What's the
worst job that you ever had? Just curious. McDiablo Is it normal
to crave cake the instant someone says that age old saying 'You
can have your cake and eat it, too'...or is it 'can't'? I dunno.
McDiablo Would you
know that I was asking a question even if I didn't sign my name?
McDiablo i'm in love
with an irish band, and thats where my name came from. wheres
your name from? irish psycho You've not
given out a good question award in yonks. Is this because people
are getting worse, or because you're getting stingier? - Fido
Dido
honestly, given
a choice between life or death... which is it? -EmprissNikon (and
yes, i'm definately still drunk) why do u
take so long? why don't u answer our q.s more often? i need to
know what the sock monkey is going to say! its like..sniff...an
addicton. irish psycho |
||
Who
would you blame and what would you do if you found this <link
removed cuz it's 404> in your food? What
would you do with something like this <link gone> ? - Omuletzu