hhhhhhhheeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllppppppppp me there are these 1ft
monsters runing around my school and there armed with toothpics
and there after me there trying 2 kill me what should i do?
First of all, DUCK. Second of all, you are wasting
time reading this site when you should be searching the internet
for "Ways To Kill Things That Make No Sense".
Good luck and be strong.
do you have
a hairy ass? do they have hairy-ass sock monkeys?
Not the last time I looked, and when sock monkeys get
old, their butts get fuzzy and start to leak stuffing.
what's in my "box"?!?!
Hmmm... no that's too obvious.... how about salsa?
My cat is
crazy, first she plays and gives baths to two of my kitties, then
all of the sudden, she starts scraching them and fighting with
them for no reason. What's up with that?
It's what cats do. If you have a serious problem
with blood stains after that, then I would suggest calling a vet.
I said you
where an ass, are you to scare to answer?
Well let's see, your grasp of the English language
isn't that great but I understand what you're trying to say.
Basically, the answer is "because I don't fucking care what
you think", and yes, you may quote me.
do you love
I'm not falling for that one again...
why is it
that night falls but day breaks?
Night makes you fall asleep and when the day comes,
you stumble out of bed and break things like your toes.
why is the
time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Because you're in more of a rush the slower you go.
why do we
insist on calling it "chili" if it's hot?
I know there is a real reason so I don't want to make
and dogs didn't have fur, would we still pet them?
Perhaps, but we certainly wouldn't kiss them... ewwwww
so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
Cuz she's a slut and the company makes more money by
selling accessories for the dolls, not the dolls themselves.
Therefore, the more Barbies and friends you get for her, the more
likely you'll be wanting to buy more and more accessories, different
types for the different 'friends'. It's all a big money
making ploy to get your children to suck the money out of your
if a jogger
runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
Perhaps, but we all know they wear them to annoy the
people they jog by. They leave a waft of body odor and a
blast of shitty music to remind us all how fat we're getting.
clean themselves with meteor showers?
OK... I'm suspicious... there is no WAY that this person
isn't ripping these off of something... FESS UP FREAK. Where
are you stealing these from??? You better not steal my answers
time band leaders semiconductors?
When playing on a mountain on a lightning storm using
a long metal rod as a wand, then yes.
why is lemon
juice made with artificial flavor, when dishwashing detergent
is made with real lemon juice?
To FUCK with your head and see if you'll be stupid
enough to eat it.
there be self help "GROUPS?"
Because alone you just go crazier. Plus, it makes
chair throwing more enjoyable.
tarzan have a beard?
It's the only way he looks different then the monkeys
and they don't try to butt fuck him.
wrong numbers are never busy?
They are, you just didn't know they were wrong.
you do if no one asked any questions anymore, but simply treated
ASK DC as their own personal message board?
Well, I'd have to hunt them down and slowly torture
them to death by playing Micheal Bolton.
and i can't smoke or i'll get worse. what should i do? i hate
all other tobacco products.
Hmmmmm... let me think hard here... oh... here's the
answer, STOP FUCKING SMOKING MORON. At least until you're
If i fed
my dog a condom after every meal do you think it would shit in
little plastic baggies for easy clean up?
If you try, I will have to hunt you down and try the
same thing on you. You could always save me a trip and just
try it on yourself and tell me if it works.
mmmm... nothing like a little non-alchoholic beer and an allergic
reaction to latex to keep your optimism up eh?
ew and ew. both SUCK so SHUT UP
a buck futter? and you know what i'm talking about!!
I can honestly say that i have never put anything up
anyones ass and that my ass is an out only.
a love monkey look like? any relation to a sock monkey?
pretty much... but a sock monkey is a monkey made of
win our game tomorrow?
If you are the Maple Leafs... you damn well better.
If you are playing against them, NO. If you are anyone else,
how the hell would I know?
no, we don't
make out in the halls. and as for defining stalk, they follow
us around, sometimes at a distance, and sometimes right behind
Perhaps you are too hot and they all get off watching
you two. They may think about you both late at night...
imagining your lips on their body parts, licking and licking.
They are imagining your face looking up from below and smiling
as you lick and suck. Perhaps when they call your name in
the hall, they do so in lust. And when you look at them
all annoyed and dangerous-like, they just burst inside and wet
themselves. Feel better? Now go look them in the eyes and
give them a sultry smile....
get up early just to go to a hillybilly cowsmellin goatblowin
hick-loser shit sniffin teacher-bitchin school? I don't
know what keeps me going!
Well, getting up and saying that everyday would get
annoying. The fact that you'll get a shitty ass piece of
paper might keep you going... and then going the hell out of that
dump. Then you go back years later and rub their noses in their
of this girl who'r very bitchy and annoying. what is the best
revenge to subject her to? we have limited resources, but at least
we live right near her house.
Have a party on her lawn. Better yet, have one
on yours and invite everyone but her. Make sure she's home
sick so she has no choice but to watch and cry.
why do we
have five toes on each foot?
Because all 10 on one foot would be too fun for the
average person. Duh...
Do you know
what i think?!?! The so called television shows today really
suck! For us non-cable users there are a bunch of bull shit
shows that go nowhere! I must say the only shows that were
good moved to cable. I think those government people are
trying to scam us, cheat us of our money and force us to get cable
for quality shows. What do you think we should do to those
Well, we vote them in, notice they suck, rip them to
shreds, then elect another fuck up. What more can we do?
be offended if i sold your body on the black market? If, so would
you want it sold in pieces or as a whole?
Pieces. So everyone can share in my death. Then
I'd come back and kill each person who had a piece.
Do you think
that if i swallowed a gerbil it would squirm its way back out
before it died?
Hmmm... if it clawed up, yes. If it clawed down,
If you coyld
be any color nail polish, what color would you be and why?
Black and clumpy so no one would buy me and plaster
me on their nails and then pick their ass with me on them.
why to Penguins
have wings...but cannot fly?
So they can waddle. How stupid would they look
without the wings???
IT TAKE FOR YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE DAMNIT?!?
Money. Plenty of money.
why is it
that you can never find a good killer for hire when you need one?
Because they are GOOD.
i love codine don't you?
Only in the winter, and always with elephants.
excruciating agony* why do i hurt so bad? i meant they only ripped
my wisdom teeth out of my mouth.
Because they implanted a device in you so that they
will know exactly where you are at all times. That's what
happens when you're a troubled kid.
HATE people to!! Every single friend i have are back stabbing
little bitches! well the gurls that is.... the guys decide
to befriend me cuz of my boobs.. (go figure) What do you
think we should to to all these idiots???
Chicks are really bad that way. I've had enough
of the back talking bitches. Not all chicks are like that,
but damn, the ones who are ruin it for everyone.
a muse?? I don't think I have those...
Try looking under your pillow. If it's not there,
check your ass. Peer into your ass with a mirror, and after
5 mins you'll find it.
i want to become
a psychiatrist some day, but my so called ' family ' says i have
too many issues of my own, but wouldn't it really be one of those
takes one to know one careers? and with so little family support
how do they expect my condition to improve?......or is it just
I think they are worried that you'll
analyze them and they just aren't into it. Perhaps they
don't want to open up to you. I think you should sit them
down and figure out where this unwillingness to share stems from.
Perhaps they just need someone to talk to, and to finally say
that they are ok.
why is it
so hard to trust people these days? p.s. i feel pretty
Because people SUCK and there is NOTHING to trust about
them. All they want to do is whine and bitch and suck the
very life out of you. DON'T trust people. I don't know about
you being pretty... i don't have any evidence either way.
the questions that earn the green head thingy are stupid!!
If any question deserves a "green head thingy" it should
be this one!! You know 99.9 percent of awards are not even
deserved. They are only a confirmation of who sucks dick
the best!! What do you think about bribery?
Well my answers to them ROCKED... or I just enjoyed
the question due to it's creativity. Perhaps you are just
upset that you didn't get one? It's ok... maybe someday
you can suck dick good too! As for bribery, you send money
and I'll give you as many little green guys as you'd like.
teachers in my school stalk me and my girlfriend, and if we even
TOUCH each other they jump all over us. they never care what the
other couple's do, in fact they seem to ignore them. why are they
all against us? we're not weird or anything like that, they're
just really wary of us together. what should we do?
Define stalk... and maybe they just are upset about
not being let in on the action. The other reason... you
might be part of that ugly couple that is always making out in
the hall and it's making everyone else sexually repulsed.
Open your eyes next time and count how many people are gagging.
"mind your p's and q's"mean?
It means don't leave your p's or q's lying around because
the pointy ends might spear a stray animal. Put them somewhere
useful like "Hey buddy! Go Piss somewhere else you
drag Queen from Pissland".
people use commen sense!?now a days people seam to be too dam
stupid to use it!example:this one kid got expeld or suspended,i
cant remember,(because of zero tolorance)for writing "you
sall die with honor"when his teaher told him to compose a
fortune cookie message!i think this is dam funny,but apperently
someone thougt it was a death thret!i say use commen sense and
save Z.T. for severe CASES!!!dont you think?yours truly demonboy"_"
I think it was a GREAT fortune. I would rather die with
honor then to be hit by the 8:15 bus because the driver was giving
himself a handjob. Who over complained should RELAX and
get a life.
If you could
be someone else, besides you, which you is not what u wanna be.
well if i were you i wouldnt want to be you, but who would you
like to be?
Being me is somewhat amusing at the moment. I
wouldn't want to be anyone else because I hate everyone.
I would be me with much more money and able to work on this site
when i wanted.
licks does it take to get to the center of a tootie roll pop?
None. You freeze it. Then you smash it
with a hammer to get the tootsie part out. An easier way
is to just buy the suckers, or buy the tootsie rolls. Saves
do u think about masturbation?
I think it's great when done properly while not drunk
or in front of your parents.
name of the town where the smurfs lived?
quotes gonna be updated? i just submitted a good one.
If you could eat
your enemies, which one would you eat first?
I wouldn't eat them. That'd be
like eating shit.
your favorite body part and what do you like to do with it?
My mind. I like to think with it.
that guy with the hair and the pants and he did that one thing
once well he wants 2 know what he did and i know u were there
b/c u were that other person with the hair and those pants
and u did that one thing with that other guy what was is god damn
It's in that place where I put that thing that one
ok if the
stuff in between our toes and toenails and it is called toejam
why cant we eat it ?
Who says you can't? Try it.
is Acid, thanks for the review on the site, i glad its not awful,
andyway my real concern is, i was going into the chat and noticed
that there was someone else with the same handle as ,me, which
is no real reason for worry, but they were claiming ot be me.
what the hell?
We are working on that... but we threw the chat up to shut you
people up... so someday it will be outlawed...
How do I
become a friend?? There are a few questionaire type things to
take, and, well, I DUNNO WHICH ONE!! --GK
You email us and ask for the right one.
there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Because they want to feel like they fit in.
Either that or they are just dumb.
buy me a sock monkey?
Not unless you buy me two.
i do that for the first time ever i couldnt talk my way out of?
i stole my own car which happens to belong to my parents and leave
with a whole bunch of bad kids to down town dallas and go to a
rave and now my parents think that i'm crazy and need counseling
so their sending me to see a "person that will help me through
those troubling teenage times" the only help i need is finding
a killer for hire. HEY!!! know where i can get one? luv nikon.
And i think i'm finally feeling the effects of my new remote control
theory... do my breasts look smaller to you?
Well, go to the damn shrink because you can't do stupid
ass things all your life. Sure, rebelling can be fun, but
it's only fun for so long before your ass goes to jail and you
can't talk your way out of THAT. Your breasts look fine...
but i didn't see the before picture.
why is it
that we can hunt animals but we cant hunt humans? after all arent
humans concidered animals? dosent our population need to be thinned
Indeed it does. People should be sterilized so
that more kids don't breed kids and suck our economy into the
ground worse then it already is.
them I'm a devil worshiper or homosexual wont work. The
guy who want to recruite me is Wicca, so he'll tell me my religion
or sexual preference don't matter
Well first of all one is Wiccan, not Wicca. In
order to get out of it, make racist comments and then just say
"fuck off i'm not joining your dumbass organization.
If you call me again I will consider it an invasion of privacy
and will have to take legal action."
lotsa fucking question marks, are you happy now???? krispy kritter
No, there is no good question in front of them.
the law permit me to murder somone i dislike very very much? all
i wanted to do was see what a 12 gauge would do to his head at
point blank range....
Because if it allowed you to go do that... it would
have to allow everyone around you to do it too. And you
can't shoot someone if you're already dead...
does this room smell like air?
I wish it did... damn... that STINKS..
chimney was a color, don't you think it would be brick?
But then what color would brick be? Chimney?
we gonna get teh Y2K survey results?!?!
they are already up.. where the hell have you been?
know, as much time as people spend in front of the Television,
one of these days were gonna find out that remote control's give
us Cancer or some disease that makes our breasts or balls shrink
or swell (whichever seems apprapriate) and it's all gonna be one
big FUCK YOU!!! from our bodies for being so damn lazy. what's
your take ont eh situation?
I think you pretty much covered it... but there has
to be a sock monkey somewhere!
is your favorite sitcom?
I like 3rd rock from the sun. They are fucked.
Dear, krispy kritter,
Your wonderful letter was enjoyable to read. It didn't,
however, contain any sort of question so it will not be posted.
if you can
do away with any ONE person,who would it be?(i whant a name,no
The person who is responsible for the public not knowing
what is really going on. That one key guy who keeps it hidden.
I took this stupid test. I didn't know it was a military
test. They only told us it was importan for us to take it.
So I took it, I scored a very high score. Now, the army
won't leave me alone. I even told them to stop calling me,
but they won't quit. What should I do? Oh yeah, I'm
a girl, not a guy
Well, the answer is the same. Tell them you are
homosexual, or that you are a devil worshipper. Then hiss into
happened to your good question award??? ive noticed you have been
skip'n that part :-)
Well... it's been one of those times where stuff happens
and then it doesn't and you don't paste things.
hell did that chat go?
Its new policy. We add things and take them away
at random. Something could appear for an hour and that's
it. It's back for now.
DC do you
hear voices b/c all the people i ask say they do...but I wanna
make sure they just aren't trying to make me feel better about
hearing voices in the middle of the night...oh yeah, and do you
enjoy eating bananas?
I hear voices a lot. They phone me, go on tv
and even approach me in the bodies of friends. Bananas are
ok. But not my favorite.
my parents sending me to a fuckin psychologist?
Well what did you do that you couldn't talk you way
lihgt escape a black hole,given that lihgt dose not have any isotonic
This one I would have to research... but to the best
of my knowledge, a black hole is so dense that particles of light
can not escape due to the incredible gravity. I can't get any
more technical then this without research, however, some people
believe that the other side of a black hole is an alternate universe,
or that it can bring you back in time.
Depends on what you're talking about and what you're
planning on doing with it.
i'd take your advice on the cooking... but if i make a big mess
i clean up the big mess and get my ass yelled at. anythign else?
But they would be upset about the kitchen now... and
they'll hate you less that way.
sick of my bothering you?
I do not find YOU bothering ME. Think about it
and you'll know all about it.
DC, that is the question????
The answer to give money to DC.