DC! What do you do with your spare time? http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-88.htm (4th picture down)
i left the link there because that picture is funny... i think it's one of my cousins

How badly will I bomb my essay tomorrow afternoon? McDiablo
pretty badly but 2 years from now you'll forget about it for a few minutes until someone reminds you how horribly you failed it through an email

do you think that "carrots fuck the earth" ? cuz the lady who read poetry said that. - Miss Roger's Sweater
i think she meant 'salad'

This dude on TV is yelling. Is he yelling at my dad? Should I get my dad to kick his ass? McDiablo
yes you should... your dad can totally kick that guys ass

where is my brother, he did not come home last night.. which of his 'gal pals' is he hanging with tonight? - Miss Roger's Sweater
the one with the playstation 2

Is it just me, or are there a lot of famous bands coming out lately whose band name begins with "The"? McDiablo
they are just trying to be like THEinsanedomain.com

do you like Drop D tuning or Standard tuning? - Miss Roger's Sweater
drop d

Did Jinx the sock monkey get adopted? I think he's supercool. McDiablo
no he's sitting here beside me actually... won't talk to me though

are you multi-cultural and celebrate Dee-Wally (diwali) ? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i'm not sure, and i've never heard of that

i have ADD do you? i was also gonna ask... ooh time for my ritilin, cool the simpsons are on... -monkie boy
no i don't i just get bored easily

Are there different breeds of sock monkies?
of course... and many different colors

what is your opinion on the legalization of marijuana?
i think it should be legalized with the same restrictions as alcohol

What do you think of carving pumpkins? FartMonkey
i think it's fun when people give me sharp objects so i can cut things and then they take them away and it's not so fun anymore because then i can't cut up things anymore

Fire or Ice? FartMonkey
fire outside is lots of fun... ice inside is only good in beverages... so i vote for dirt

What if I were to ask you how to get my boyfriend back? Wait, I have never had a boyfriend. Boys are dumb. Girls are stupid too. Humans suck in general. Glad I'm a sock monkey. FartMonkey
everyone sucks

I'll trade you for that little duck toy....will you accept a clock, some glue, and 17 Mary Jane's? FartMonkey
yes i will... thank you for your business

How come at halloween they sell large bags of candy bars, but really small, like a square inch, and label it "FUN SIZE"? What's so damn fun about gettin cheated out of 3 inches of candy bar? FartMonkey
they are lying bastards who put names and slogans on things so they can cram more crap that you don't need down your throat... don't fall for it!

well sock monkey if it were that simple i wouldnt have asked the question. On that porn site it doesnt tell you what the movie is it just says "movie" than it loads...and you get a surprise. and also (namelsess) is a really stupid unoriginal peice of shit alias and that kid should get the shit beat out of him for being so gay(please remember to answer my original question instead of make a comment about agreeing or disagreeing with nameless' gay name)thanx yo(kult0vazazel)
how about you stop your bitching and find a different site if you don't like that one? if you can't figure that out for yourself then maybe you should just stick to renting videos from a porn store or just buying them so you'll never have to deal with confusion again

Have you ever considered charging a dollar a question? Just think about how rich you'd be. McDiablo
as if you cheap bastards would send me a dollar... and if you say you would then do it already

I have come to the point that when I'm writing I forget letters in words. What is going on here? Am I losing my mind (again)? McDiablo
yes you are but thats ok because you will find it under the bed along with what your mom describes as 'the pit of hell mess' that you somehow think she won't notice if you pull the bedsheets to the floor

Would you eat anything that looks like owl barf with chips on top (aka: Chicken Delight)? McDiablo
i can safely say no

My mom had to take a Food Safe course and she was worried that she'd fail the test. She passed with 96 % (the highest in the class). What the hell was she worried about?? McDiablo
she was worried that you had to get perfect... take her out for ice cream

It is funny. We just got a German Shepard Puppy. I reciently spent an entire houre watching the declawed cat atempt to beat the living shit out of the puppy. Oh Ya What should I burn next? (Nameless)
burn the wooden carvings

my friend Russ, he's on your webpage, against medical advice, hes an insane motherfukker aint he? do you think he'll ever get over that salamander swallowing problem? and do you think all of us at Team AMA can come over and party with you guys, if we give you five bucks?
five bucks EACH... and i'm not allowed to have people over for another week

if i trade you grand theft auto vice city, can you give me your soul? and can i have a sock monkey carcass?- weirdofreako
only if you throw in playstation 2 as well... and maybe later

hey can i join your cult of insane sock monkeys? im a monkey too... no really, i am... -monkie boy
i don't believe you ... and that fake glued on tail isn't fooling anyone

im seeing two of your title web links... am i drunk? i can hear my brain cells screaming out... nevermind its just the voice in my head named monkie boy -weirdofreako
i have many voices in my head but my favorite is the one that likes to pick at scabs until they bleed and bleed and bleed

why do you do when your kid is a brat?
all kids are brats... there is no WHEN... and it's your own fault for breeding so punish yourself

what is your favorite candy?
um... i'm not really a candy kinda monkey...

i started it, will i finish it? if so, how will it turn out?will it be good?
no you won't because it will turn out crappy but that's ok you'll find something else

Can you supply me with Ten Tips to Terrific Toenails? FartMonkey (I mean like for cooking, not for making people look at my feet, thats just nasty)
1. toenails and feet should be hidden by socks and shoes... steps 2 through 10 refer to 1

Is it a bad thing if your own ass starts talking to you? FartMonkey
that all depends on what its trying to convince you to do

They tell me lightbulbs run on electricity. Frankly I think it's all lies. Can you tell me what's really inside light bulbs and what makes them light up?FartMonkey
well i'm getting to that damnit... i'm only on light waves right now...

If you stand on a roof waving at cars, and a flying squirrel takes flight somewhere within 200 miles from you in any direction, will the temperature of the coffee waiting on the stove in the road go up by thirty degrees, or will Jacob come from the mountain to fetch the sacred ladder?
jacob comes down and burns himself on the coffee but he deserves it for that whole ladder trick he pulled last week with the bucket of water

DC....did you want me to bring home milk tonight? opps..maybe people werent suppose to know we were living together? Will I be punished? *prays for spanking!!*--monkeeskittles
no i don't like milk and they all know because of the webcams i have all over the place

Man, this site is sooo fast! How do you ever do it? (Omuletzu)
we use the most aerodynamic font we can

How come soap in Europe looks like cheese? McDiablo
i've never seen soap in europe... so either send me some, send me to europe so see some or shut the hell up

Last night in Psych. class, my friends burst out laughing when the instructor said 'PNS'. I had made the comment earlier that when you add two vowels in 'PNS', it spells out a word that apparently causes a portion of the population to giggle. Will they ever look at the abbreviation for the Peripheral Nervous System the same way again? McDiablo
i don't think they will... but at least you've brought joy to their sad little lives... next time try using some puppets too

Is it bad that I've watched 'Gladiator' three days in a row? Would you like me to hum the background music for you? McDiablo
hell no and it was bad enough i had to see it once

REmember to put up the questionaire and what-if's up!!!!!!or you know what will happen..
they're up so how about you pay me for it??? and i still expect a spanking

me and my gf are togeather for 6 mos today that is wonderful tont you just love being togeather with the one you love?
if you're trying to make me vomit up my own bowels in utter disgust then mission accomplished

I have a phoebia of over flowing toilet bowls. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? And if you have do you know what it might be called (besides retarded)?
its called not wanting shit floating around your ankles... and the worst is when you dream about the overflowing toilets... having to stand there and watch it...

Why do little daisies talk to me when the grey mice come?
well i'm not sure but why are you making grey mice come

do you listen to music while updating these questions? what is playing now?
yes i do... i almost always listen to music while on my computer... manson - disassociative

do the grey mice want to be my friend or do they only want my wool blankets?Should I just give the mice the wool blankets anyway? They look sort of cold.
well since you're touching them i say they probably do want your blankets... i say share it with them... they'll like that a lot

you want playstation 2 with grand theft auto 3? My brother has both...I will steal them from him if you give me the same thing in return.
yes i do... and i can't... i don't have any obviously

WHY IS THE MONKIES EYES DOING THAT?! Please make him stop! It's hurting me so much! Please. Why? :(
ask him... i'm a totally different sock monkey

have you ever heard of making acid from oranges and toothpaste I need some acid bad
no i haven't and i stopped taking acid many years ago so find it elsewhere

where are ya from?? and how old are ya?? LOL!
a distant planet that i can't seem to get back to and in earth years i'm in my 20s

How long will you still be a demon child? Will you ever grow up? (Omuletzu)
forever and not if i can help it

If I make this 3D pic of a huge insane contraption that does nothing, will you post it on your site? (Omuletzu)
if we like it and didn't take up lots of space/bandwidth...

My neighbor's cat keeps spying on me from the dark. What does that mean? Am I in danger? (Omuletzu)
you should be happy the cat even notices you are alive... bring it gifts

I was browsing through theinsanedomain and it hit me! Ouch! Question: Did you have more stuff posted and you took it off? I'm especially interested in random rantings. (Omuletzu)
yes there are things that have disappeared over the years from the site... other things have gotten shuffled around to different areas... there is a lot of stuff so its hard to keep it all organized... here are the random rantings that are currently online... there used to be a whole section of other rants about movies/music and stuff but it was removed a few years ago

A few weeks ago at school we had an insane rampage. We stole 150 metres of builders taoe, wrapped foetish up in it so you could only see his head, carried him into the principal's office, put him on the desk, said "Happy Birthday!" and walked out again. You like? - Fish
very nice... did you slap a bow on it too?

my cat has learnt that it can get me to feed it by headbutting my bedroom door till it opens, jumping up on my bed and miaowing and clawing me until I get up. What does this portend, and is it correct that I am always doing his bidding? - Fish
yes it is correct you must do the cats bidding... and since you are a fish you are lucky it doesn't eat your gilled ass

Cruizin in my grandmas escort, some punk ass eagle talon starts reving his stupid engine. Then I said, grandma, buckle up. She told me to smoke em! Then I flipped him the bird. He screamed DSM rules! Then my grandma screamed talons lick nutz. After we smoked him by a few car lengths, grandma put on the hazard lights to indicate the win. I was so happy. I didnt think it was possible to beat a mighty DSM. Well I did and my grandma took me to dairy queen for some victory blizzards. Till next time boys and girls. ESCORTS RULE! The moral of the story is if you see a DSM dont run and hide, just smoke them and then go for ice cream! did you like this story?
no i must admit i didn't... i don't like escorts

that open surgery on a dust bag was gross. who has that much hair and kitty litter in their vaacum?
damnit so i didn't know there was a damned bag that gets emptied somehow... i just use it until it stops working and then complain to someone until they fix it for me...

why do you do when your date pukes on you? For real man..That is so fucking gross. I want to shove his own puke back down his throat. I mean, would it possibly be so hard just to turn your head the other way, or over your lap, when you felt the chunks rising? Instead, you had to redirect the vomit in my directions as if that was the only option.
shove the puke down his throat... or bounce his head off a hard object until he's no longer puking

Why have you devoted so much of you time to answering usless question (like this one) from figments of your imagination. But besides that I enjoy reading the not so stupoid questions and answers and sometimes the stupid ones, and wish for you to continue .
well you see... this is how i have chosen to waste my life away... and it would be nice if you sent me stuff so i could play with stuff when i'm not answering questions or doing that 'day job' thing

I fell down a well and it didn't make the news. What should I do? FartMonkey
fall down better

So is the world really round?FartMonkey
well MY world is always kinda changing but the EARTH is mostly round

What repels Sanimal? FartMonkey
anything even remotely interesting to the rest of us freaks

Where can i adopt a sock monkey and how much money does it cost?
here and it cost $25 canadian... contact through here if you really want one... or wait till we have them on ebay for you to buy

today i was walking to my friends house and on the corner of his block (which is very close to his house there was a nearly naked sock monkey on corner saying to me "wanna have some fun" what was that sock monkey doing. This is the guywho has asked you the question about how to adopt sock moneys and why yopu have devted your life to answering questions from figments of your imaginations and all of them in the day my friend told me about this site ( not the friend in this question) i will continueto ask you question before i ask anyone else. thank you for your time
the sock monkey wanted some fun... but i'm sure its a dirty cum filled sock monkey like that one in the picture so you should get one from us and fill it yourself

what is playing now?
pixies - where is my mind

oh this is the same guy about the "corner sock monkey" my name online name is ShadowClaws this is not a question but i thought it would be nice not to have to explain who i am every time i ask a question
well that's why some people have had the wonderful idea to just put their nickname after the questions they ask... imagine!

Do you have any idea about phoebias, like you are affraid of people, specifically a mass of people. Its not that I'm insecure, I just don't want to see people
i'm afraid of people in malls... people who drive badly... and children in buggies... all peope suck

have you ever been to trinidad? would you like to come? are you interested in carnival and all that shit?
no i haven't... sure if you are paying... and no

this is not a question but i would just like to say that i have been advertising for you in the aol chat rooms i have been trying to convert all the gay people in them with your sock monkey porn.-ShadowClaws p.s. if they were stupid enough to be gay in the first place they dont deserve to be here.
see you handled that nickname thing easily... and i don't think you should be trying to convert 'gay' people into something else.. i think you're just trying to suck up to me and trying to make me create more sock monkey porn so you can secretly print it off and line your closet walls with it


lets grow 5 feet long pubic hair and run arond naked with floral printed high-heels and suit cases!!! please?
you can do that if you'd like... just stay the hell out of my bedroom

Hi. Im really in love with my boyfriend, but I Think he's cheating on me because i found my best friends phone number in his wallet, and i caught them hanging out last night when he was suppose to be at his parents house so what should i do? should i break it off now or just forgive him and start over?
your boyfriend is a dumbass and you're a dumbass for asking this here

Hey Ill send you me in a box..with play station 2, but the play station is in my stomach, so you gotta fuck me first, then ill throw it up and you can have it and then ill send my self back home, deal?--syko Morgana
fine fine but i'm not wearing that silly hat again... the boots sure... but not the hat

Is there any particular reason that americans insist on spelling the English language wrong? And others too, for that matter. E.g. "Paedophile" is most often spelt "pedophile". WRONG. "To" is NOT the same as "too" or "2" or "two". Why must people be so stupid? I insist you kill all stupid people this instant, bitch. - Fido Dido
all people must be stupid because they are people and people are always stupid

My website isn't working right and I'm rather sad about it. Where will I put all my random thoughts now? McDiablo
carve them into stone tablets... they last for years

My sister was invited to a "Christmas Festivity" by the people who pluck her eyebrows. Do you think she should go? McDiablo
the people who WHAT??? what the hell do you mean by that? is that her fetish? is it an eyebrow plucking party?

Why is it that everywhere I go, I hear that annoying Celine Dion song ... and my mom starts to sing along with it? McDiablo
celine is haunting me too... i say we find her and crush her throat

What should I say to people who try to correct my vocabulary? McDiablo
you say nothing... you just scream... kick... yell... shake... vomit... dance...

my mom has been printing things off for the last 30mins.. and it just keeps going.. what's going on? - Miss Roger's Sweater
she likes it.. and is planning on making a 'family newsletter' each day for your whole family

why do i go to the library so much? - Miss Roger's Sweater
the books! they're everywhere! how can you NOT go?!

do you partake in 'quiet fascination'? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but quite often it gets out of control and a riot breaks out

i'm offering my spleen for sale..for FREE you want it?~SG*
sure ... send it

am I talking with a male or female? does any one give **&#@?
well if you're talking to yourself then you should really check the frontal region of your pants... once you've identified yourself as male or female, then perhaps you can truly know yourself

Where can I buy a boquet of dead babies?--Syko Morgana
fresh or dried?

Why was I born without a stomach, left eye, right foot, or vagina?--Syko Morgana
i blame poor hygene and lack of the color pink during your conception

I try so very hard, to no avail... I fish every hour I'm awake, and yet I cannot hook Mr. Bluegill. Perhaps I am using the wrong bait?
i say you leave the fish alone or his cousin the magic fish will kick your ass

What's the secret to getting people to participate and fill out the forms on a website? - Mzebonga
cheap booze... comfy seating and bad conversation

Alright, I've given this some thought. Why can't people tell if they're dating a transexual? I mean if ur out clubbin and u see a girl wit tight short shorts, wouldnt the be a large akward lump that stands out in the middle of her shorts?
i honestly have no idea... perhaps there is a way of hiding it? you should ask a transexual and perhaps they'd know

Why do old people hate young people so much? I mean all I do is say 'hi' and they look @ me like I shot thier damn cousin or somethin...
maybe you should brush your teeth more... old people can still smell bad breath

If your fuckin a girl in her ass... wouldnt there be a large stinking heap of shit on your dick?
not if she cleaned it all out... or is a real doll

i work at a 7-11, answer me this, did you piss in the slurpee machine?- monkie boy
yes but just the mountian dew

I just watched 'Band of Brothers' with my dad and brother and they liberated a concentration camp. I'm all sad now ... why did I put myself through that? McDiablo
to remind yourself how shitty things can get when people don't see each other as humans anymore... people treat each other like objects every day and that was one extreme of it

How come I am not tired? McDiablo
its the constant slurpees

Should I just carry a heater around all the time so I'm never cold ... EVER? McDiablo
i say just continue with the 'layered' approach until you can just roll around town

Ok Back to Its all a Dream and you are figments of my imagination. So in my dream, you keep asking for stuff. But you never get stuff. I have the solution. I will dream that tomorrow you will ask me to dream that people send you stuff. If you ask nicely. It may happen. How is that (Nameless)
ok try it... and dream that they send me money too... and cool dvds... and books...

If I paid you 5 bananna's would you do the great Potatoe dance for me?please?
no... unless they're ripe

Not a Candy kind of monkey???? What kind of monkey are you? - Mzebonga
i'm a 'give me free stuff' kinda monkey... have i mentioned this yet? no i didn't think so... but you don't have to send me stuff, just everyone else...

Do sock monkeys regularly disappear from washing machines if two or more are in there at one time?
yes... but let's not talk about that right now...

My mom calls my dad a 'big dummy' in a joke-like manner. Do you think he ever takes offense? McDiablo
well if he does then he would have said something...

If you were told that in 24 hours you were going to die, what would you do? Go skydiving? Steal a grape from Safeway? McDiablo
i'd get so drunk and stoned i'd die laughing

I had a dream that some guy was going to offer my friends and I some chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. He then noted that they are not a good thing for one to have for breakfast. Even in my dream I knew I was going to take the cookies. Should I just ignore the fact that cookies aren't the best thing in the morning or should I take the dude in my dream seriously? McDiablo
i say eat the cookie... breakfast is important and it's not good to skip it

Why are my questions longer at 9:06am? McDiablo
they aren't.. they just look that way...

map across my tundra tunnel and then we'll eat some pie?
what kind of pie?

what do you do when another sock monkey trys to say he's you because most of you guys all look alike?
i kick his sorry sock monkey ass

what do you do when you run down to the computer store and your trying to find a fucking USB or UBS cable cuz the fuckin piece of shit digital camera didnt come with the proper one and then some chickens start chasing you calling you the "crab patty bank man" and then they rip off your pants and let everyone see your wearing your over-sized walmart panties that had stains on it and then jesus comes and spanks you and tell you to get your butt to church and when you dont go it starts raining lizard tounges, like the long ones that stick out real fast cept these ones dont have mouths to go in and out of real fast, they are just tounges falling down to the ground, and then your wind sheild wiper gets tounges all clogged in it and what is 5+19?
next time you whip them with your belt and make sure you always have extra USB cables

I like you DC. Now what are you going to do about it?
i'm going to have you spank me and send me stuff

if i invited you to come to my place and smoke a fatty with me would you?
not if i have to bring chips... the bags are all loud and crinkly

hey why do you canadians say "about" all weird and shit. huh?
as a resident of canada, i can honestly say i have never heard anyone say 'aboot' seriously...

damnit DC this has been getting on my nerves lately. why do celebrities get married?? I mean, do they honestly think they aren't going to get a divorce in a few months anyway? When ever in the history of those dumb fuck celebrities have you ever seen a couple stay together? can i just hurry up and shoot them already?--Syko Morgana
they are dumb, they want publicity, dumb people buy into it, dumb people feel like they have something to talk about

Would poop stay on walls if I stuck it up there?
only if it's fresh moist poop

Would cats stay on walls if I placed them up there without adhesives? cuz one time i heard them saying they were gonna someday show the humans that they can stick to the walls so i was just curious.--Syko Morgana
you just wait until they decide to show you how to do it... don't ruin it

Sticks and stones can break your bones, but why is the dictionary at the side of the road missing several words, such as "insulation" and "mamma?"
they were just testing you... and you know who they are

"I can be bribed to let you break any of these rules if you give me any or all of the following: great amounts of money, mr bungle / faith no more items, leaf tickets, dvds, playstation 2 with grand theft auto 3" - Shouldn't it be 4?
i'll take both thanks

why is my car being sucky? and squealing and having to go to the mechanics? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's acting out it's frustrations with the world

i know it's not quite winter yet but can i officially declare it appropriate to wear my 'miss roger's sweater' now? - Miss Roger's Sweater
why yes! break it out and strut!

mac and cheese.. pure brilliance? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but simpsons pasta shapes are way better

do you have a friend named Ming Tran? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not that i'm aware of...

Would you rather have 10 children, or have a metal rod permanently planted up your ass? And with holes purposly cut in your pants for the rod. either way they would be in a pain the ass...except the children go away in 18 years..im just trying to get you to say youd have children. say it. say it.
metal rod ... and how do you know i don't like that sort of thing? yea that's right


It seems like peoples computers only crash when they're having a chat with me. This is just because they don't want to talk to me, isnt it? FartMonkey
yes it is actually... they hate you and use this excuse because it is easy to get away with... they would rather turn off their computers then talk to you... in order to stop this, you should start reading about various topics such as health, science, cars and music... that way you might have something more interesting to say... if that doesn't work then start your own religion and force them to chat

In biology they're making us calculate genetic ratios and crap. I will never have to use this stuff as I plan to travel the world living under highway overpasses eating beans out of a can with other homeless persons. Should I make an honest effort to infect the teacher with anthrax? Do you recommend anthrax or rabies? Or should I just lock her in a small room with britney spears music nonstop? FartMonkey
well it's not the teachers fault that it has to be taught... so i say you just stop attending your classes, or hire a stunt double to attend instead

If i got alot of toilet paper, and glued it from my arms to my chest forming large wings. Then jumped off a building, think i could fly? - vi0
well i assume you did... i see no reason why your plan would fail ... unless you forgot to flap your arms...

is my mom on crack? shes buying milk at target, and she doesn't put it away until 3 in the morning. oh yeah she also wants to see the Jackass movie, and she also watches south park now, what the hell is wrong with her? -monkie boy
there is nothing wrong with her... i'd be happy you have a cool mom... and maybe she'll share some of her pot with you

ive been up for 3 days in a row now, and im not on any drugs, (just alot of alcohol), i just made a video of me puking my guts out, and then taking a shot of jack daniels, am i clasified as insane as you guys now? i think i need to go and smoke my beer and drink my cigarette now -monkie boy
send it to us!!! that is the sort of quality entertainment we'd like to see

why the hell does pepsi blue taste like smurf pee?? -monkie boy
maybe it IS smurf pee... did you read the label?

if i send you a picture of me burning myself at vans warped tour, to try to get a t-shirt, do you think i can get something?
i think that i'd personally send you something... so make sure you give your return address

hey i left some of my clothes at your place last night.. can you give it back to me?--Syko Morgana
no... i've already pissed on them so they're MINE

Why do people say "pair of panties", when they are only referring to one? I mean, do you know anyone that wears more than one piece of underwear at the same time(besides me and Wynona Ryder)?therefore there is no pair. Just one single panty.
well english is a stupid language in many ways... it just doesn't make sense... and slowly things that don't make sense are ok in society until none of us understands each other but it's ok because we don't even understand ourselves

another thing about panty...Where can I find a panty with alligators eating out a sock monkey?--syko Morgana
i don't there are any... but you can get markers and draw your own on some underwear... if not i'll draw on some for you

Why don't they play the song you want to hear on the radio? This has been happening to my sister lately and she's getting rather annoyed...McDiablo
the radio SUCKS and until someone pays jcp and i to have our own radio show or something then the world will be without good music on the radio... unless you find a cool local station run by some freaks late at night

How come Mickey Mouse's voice is so high-pitched? McDiablo
he is not a mouse but a mutated kangaroo

How much am I going to phuck up my Psychology midterm? McDiablo
a whole lot that you yourself will become a textbook example of a student under stress

My website is working again. Should I do a little jig? McDiablo
yes and make sure to bang a few tupperwear bowls while jigging

Is blond your real haircolor?
everything you see is natural...

hey wanna do some kinky stuff? ---DisAsTeR_cHiLd
ok but you have to pay me this time

Am i a psyco?-P_ChiLd
no you're not but nice try

What are the names of Santas reindeer
the real names? well i can't tell you that... and santa doesn't own them because there is no santa

why are stores already putting out christmas stuff? have they no sense of time? do you like christmas? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they are trying to make you feel like you need to buy stupid shit... and i do not like xmas except for the few days off i get from work

my neighbour from across the street just got msn.. how come i talk to him more now than i did before he got msn.. he's only across the street! - Miss Roger's Sweater
the internet brings people together... but for real its because you know you can stop the conversation as soon as it gets boring... you just say 'gotta go' and put them on invisible

why is my mom watching martha stewart? - Miss Roger's Sweater
she is trying to creep you out

If you had to choose only five words that you were able to use for the rest of your life, what would they be?--Enfante Terrible
fuck, freak, no, yes, specifically

how much energy is stored in the sun what is solar energy how do you use solar energy
a whole lot, energy from the sun, and i use it to warm my apartment, warm myself and to make my plants grow

Who reminds you more of a tampon, Jennifer Love Hewitt or Jennifer Aniston? --Enfante Terrible
love hewitt

Who reminds you more of a bedpan, George Clooney or Cher? Why? --Enfante Terrible
neither actually... but if forced to choose i'd choose clooney

Why am I never satisfied with my life? Never happy! (Omuletzu)
well thats an ok thing... it may prompt you to do something you enjoy instead of whatever you're doing now...

Any important things happened since yesterday? (Omuletzu)
not really no... unless you count that whole roswell thing

People suck! Every day they mind their own business, work, eat, sleep, steal, cheat, kill, betray, deceive, kiss ass, hide what they think or feel, THEY NEVER SAY WHAT THEY THINK! (we, that is, cause we all suck) And they're all the best, always better than you in everything, they're always right and always find excuses when you prove they were wrong. They all want more money even if they don't deserve (the people who build poor quality items and raise the prices when the holidays come, instead of lowering them). And who do they think they are, God, when they try to convince you that what they like is better that what you like. Blue is more beautiful than green, they say and that chick is ugly! Maybe I like green and I love that chick, so she's not at all ugly for me! But noooo, keep fucking my brains that she's ugly! Well, you're stupid! And I can prove it! I know I suck too, in many ways, but do you think I could find a way to suck less? I want to change myself.(Omuletzu)
well just because you change doesn't mean that what came before sucked... so i say you send me all your possesions and then travel the world to discover all the stuff you didn't know before... make sure you take a journal to keep track of all the new info, and draw pictures when you can

http://theinsanedomain.com/Main/AskSanimal/index.htm - "I'm Better Then You" leads to "SAnimal's "I'm Better Than All Of You" Section". Then or than? (Omuletzu)
sanimal is a dumbass

so i went to buy some coffee today and the snobby girl at the counter treated me like I was a total idiot. She treated me like a fool, because I asked for her to explain to me what some of the drinks were, because I didnt know. Like everyone is born knowing what "iced chai" is? What the hell ever. SHE'S the franchised coffee vendor, so who the hell does she think she is treating me like that? Why doesnt she just go shove that hot coffee up her ass and go get a job where being a total snob is ok?--Syko Morgana
she is a dumbass and i wouldn't go back there... there is only one word for coffee and its COFFEE... i'd go into it but denis leary does it so much better then i can

How could i have missed the october 'what ifs'? what the fuck is wrong with me? - SiNiSTaR
i blame the bad jellybean you ate

tell me please, is this really happening to me? - SiNiSTaR
well yes but i won't tell you... that way you can live in denial

Okay... follow this... Cat's always land on their feet... and Toast always lands butter side up (or so that's the way it's known)... so if we strapped Toast upside down to the backs of cats and dropped them wouldn't they spin over and over again causing a hovering sensation?? And with this hovering technology we could build bridges and everything... A new wave of science...
well it's about time one of you humans figured out how the ufos work... all this going on about 'gravity' and such nonsense has been making me ill... bravo for you... i'm glad someone finally caught on

Why is it that every time a policeman directs the traffic in an intersection, everything's stuck? (Omuletzu)
i blame the shiny shoes

Don't you dare touch my uncles (Mr. Bluegill) you sick homicidal freak!!!! He never did anything to you, and you want to stick a huge fucking hook through his head, pull him out of his home and leave him to choke to death on the bank!!! What kind of fucked up bastard are you?!?! If you do anything to him, you will find that the fish gods shall haunt you, and I shall use my magical powers to hunt you down and show you what it feels like to be jabbed through the head with a sharp barbed hook, dragged around by that hook for 10 minutes and finally choked to death. Leave us fish the fuck alone, or you'll regret it. We control far more than you think. Sick fucking freak. Shit . . . . *swims off muttering curses on stupid dipshit murderous rednecks who have nothing better to do than kill something* - Fish
you're at the wrong q&a... i'm a vegetarian and i don't fish... so go rant at sanimal or something

dude i love you man, you're fucking awesome. okay, now for the question. Would you put a needle in a gummy bear and give it a little kid?--Pokey
depends on who the kid is... but i'd probably give it to the parents

Whats the life exspectancy of a sock monkey?--Pokey
well quite long actually... unless there are barn fires involved

Do you believe in time travel?
yes but not in a way that humans would understand

My question is, “how do you keep a moron in suspense?”

Where did my parents go? They just sort of left without telling me where they headed off to. McDiablo
they went off to buy you lots of shiny things, dvds and cds you'd like, new pillows for your bed, kitkat bars, your own slurpee machine, some gum and colored paper

We have civic elections on Saturday. Should I exercise my right and vote? Wait....I am not registered. Should I register and THEN exercise my right? McDiablo
yes... and wonder why there isn't an option for 'none of the above'...

In celebration of the release of the newest Harry Potter film, I have contemplated walking around all day talking in an English accent and pretending to hex people. Should I go through with my plans? McDiablo
yes... but don't pretend to hex them... go the whole way and actually do it

How come Barq's root beer hasn't been on tap at 7 Eleven in so long? McDiablo
they think it doesn't sell as well... if you ask for it every day then maybe they will

Why do people with bad breath always want to tell you secrets? i got that from the comedian Dane Cook by the way. He is a funny ass mother fucker, ever heard his shit? Go download some of it, Ill send you money for real this time..--Syko Morgana
send me the money and then i'll go listen... i haven't heard of him

if i was sane would i fuck it up all over again?
yes but in a totally different way

Why are "HAM"burgers made of beef?
english doesn't always make a whole lot of sense

I wish to beat you with sticks may i please ?

If i sent you money how would i benifit from it ? Is it really worth it ? If it iz then i will send you large amounts of mo nae
you would feel good about giving me the money... and i would send you something back as a thank you for the money

If you dont like me how come i sent you my bra ?
cuz you are like that... and thank you

i can make you tickets made out of leafs. Can i break the rules yet ?
close... but no.. and i'm going to change that soon because there is nothing worth going there to see at the moment until they get their shit together

If i go to a super market at 8 am and the potatoe chips arent soggy will i be able to save the magical bananas from their plotted demise ?
yes... but only the bbq chips can help you

Hey, do you have a canoe i could barrow please ?
no i don't actually

Deer Miztr Dc, Today was a good day to use my new hammer. Not only did I nail more boards to the window, but a servey man came to my door. He asked how i felt about trees. He didn't ask very good questions, so i took him into a room. It was a nice room ! I let him think of new abd better questions to ask. The hammer helped him think. He still doesn't know what else to ask me but im out of nails. Should i try a lighter this time ? SINcerly, 'Nny
well i'd try a combination of the hammer and the lighter... by using both, you ensure a good level of pain to stimulate his mind

We all know Thomas Jefferson for his usefull discoverys and creations, but none but i know of his saucy journal of sex tips. Would you like me to send it to you ?
you're assuming i don't already have them framed above my bed

One time i was walking down the street. I bought a tub of sauce. I was so excited about my sauce that i ran home. On the way there a stupid nutless shit bag come by and bumps into me and jars my tun of sauce onto the floor. Then i shot him. THE END. Was this the right thing to do ?----> Nny'
yes but next time walk home... and obey the street signs... and if you wear shoes then the whole experience is that much less bloody for you

How many days till' i get my new switch blade ? I ned it Bad!
no you don't... you just want it to show your friends and try to trick them into thinking you're 'hardcore' when in fact you are not... just accept it and send the blade back

Do you belive in love at first sight ? If you dont then do you belive that everyonbes a useless shit bag that was meant to come here,mate,kill,feed and repeat the process untill our offspring makes another dumbass shitless fucker of a son to do the same thing ?
no not really... and everyone is a useless shit bag but not here to do the rest of that shit...

Whats the difference between the scum you find in your garbage can after you left 10 lbs. of moldy limburg cheese inside of and left for a six month vacation stuffed into a decapetated rat and rolled into a fried peice of shit and people ?---> Nny'
people walk around and talk to each other producing more shit... the other stuff just rots away

What is the difference between a ignorant semi-human and a sheep that follows an ignorant semi-human ?
the sheep should know better

Why are pillows so fluffy ? Is it because it is full of shit ? ---> Nny'
no... they are filled with human hair

Hello my my is Mr.Fuck (Mr.Eff for short) ! Would you like me to strangle anyone today? Or would you like me to carry out your landlords garbage ? I have semi automatic uhh uhh "Rabbits" For sale just tell me if you want someone dead err i mean uhh nm tell me if you want someones head. ---> Mr.Eff
i would like you to hurt everyone... i don't care how

Is looking like a hobbit cool?-toothcake
sure why not?

will you give me some articals about the Pacific Ocean
um no... but here is some info on it... it's big... kinda watery and sloshes about

Why do dumbass Yanks have 'bathrooms' when they usually don't have a bath in them? And why don't their hamburgers have any ham in them? And why is American 'football' so-called when it involves mainly the use of the hands? Dumbasses. BARCLAY
humans are dumbasses no matter where they are on the planet

Would you consider secretly wiping a booger on somebody you hate, like an evil boss, or are you too good for that? --Enfante Terrible?
consider? i've done it

There's a nail in my wall. I took the picture down. I don't want any pictures on that wall anymore. But the nail is still there. What to do with this nail...?FartMonkey
leave it there as an anti-room statement or rip it out

Can you fart on cue? FartMonkey
no i can't

I'm just wondering if it would be ok for me to send you great amounts of money, dvds, and playstation 2, possibly with grand theft auto 3? FartMonkey
hm... yes it would

What do you think of that nun who always wears the shades? FartMonkey
she's damn cool

There are some fat kids who come to yell at me every day. They say that cheese is bad. But I don't think so. I love cheese. Cheese is my friend. I wanted to go out and mash in their teeth. I decided to ask your permission first.So is it OK? FartMonkey
no! thats what they want you to do! they have been banned from cheese and they have decided to make you jam it into their faces so they can't get blamed for eating it ... throw salad at them

What if you could make Britney Spears grow a moustache? FartMonkey
then i'd be able to make her have a mustache... and i would

for how many decades can bobby take baths with porcupines and never learn where they keep the marmelade? -Samuel

why cant the kittens take my sister over the rainbow?
only girls with the funky curls can go there

have you ever been beaten with a candle made of opium?
i think so but i might be mistaken

how many times can a small bat steal my overalls?
many times... you just don't learn

when people measure their dicks do they do it from the side or the top? cuz from the top im 6.6in but from the side im 7.3in
i'm not sure... perhaps you should ask a random stranger on the street

Who the hell has time to make grilled cheese anymore ... all those dame trolls selling it and packing it into loaves ...?
i don't like grilled cheese unless its real cheese being used and not those orange slices of plastic

Are they running my phone all the time? .. cause i cought a few people trying to shut me the fuck down yesterday .. and i just wanted to know
well the cartoon music has indicated that the end of the song will soon arrive and then all will good again

Who controlls the worlds supply of fresh newts? ... i thought it was me but then they killed my uncle and stuffed him in my trunk .... who would do these sort of things?
it's not me and that's all i truly need to know until someone asks me 'what do you do for a living' and i panic and respond 'i control the worlds supply of fresh newts'

Have there been enough god damn footprints yet?
need more on the moon... i should be able to have nasa take one of my boots up there and put an imprint on the moon... then bring my boots back

Who the fuck says im not the chief here?
me and that can without the label

do they have zamboni races anywhere?
if they did then i'd like to know so i can buy season tickets

whay am i at this site?
to learn the proper spelling of WHY

grandma told me this story....she wasnt as graceful as the deep cavern suspected....for all alone in the carpet of the sun Alexandra sold kittens for 50 cents a honk..what does it all mean?
it means you're standing on the tube bringing her oxygen

Well ... yesterday i woke up to find that some fucker had eaten the last of my hats... so now i have to do something about it like shoot his kids or burn his house to the ground ... any suggestions?
i'd suggest the ever popular 'piss in his mouthwash' method... now contrary to what you may have heard about this on the playground, there are no oranges involved in this process

Is the county number 3465 or 3456? or are those people just too damn afraid to answer any more of my questions about the public safety in zoos these days? Someone could seriously run off with an ape or something ...
i don't know... and the ape seems happy living here

Cound i find a dollar inside a hobo's hat .. or would i have to kill the hobo first?
leave the hobo alone... get your own hat

i have never heard of canada and i thought canadians were a myth, thank you DC you have taught me a new thing i am forever in debt. Oh...uhmmm my question....do you like that new nirvana song?
you're welcome and i wasn't aware of a new nirvana song

how do you feel about Metallica?
i feel that they died after master of puppets

do you stick your finger in your ass?
not usually

why did i get lied to about god and jesus only to find out its a load of shit and life sucks!?!? -Samy P
same reason you were told about santa

Can you give me two reasons why I shouldn't go break that girls legs?
well to begin with, she'd kick your ass, and most importantly, it's just not nice

How can I prevent grass from growing on my elbows when there is only two bowls of cereal on the table?
use mustard

Commercials suck, but every once in a while there is a funny one out there. Do you have a favorite commercial?
i don't watch commercials really... and i like that VW commercial with the guy blasting 'mr roboto'

isnt Teen Gauge fucking hot?!?! the porn star..hey, are there any porn star sock monkeys? i bet you're one..
who? and hell ya ... i am one...

The little man in my head tells me that there are people spying on my thoughts. Is he right, and if so, who/where are these people? Or is the little man [who also happens to like toast - just thought you'd like to know] lying to me? Oh why does he always lie to me? I havta go eat some toast now.. - Fido Dido
yes there are... and i can't tell you who they are or it spoils the whole thing... and DAMN that chicken soup smell is just rancid... but i can't stop breathing it in just to feel offended by it

My dorky literature teacher always sets this timer for EVERYTHING. "Okay, class, you have ten minutes to do this group work" and then he sets the timer. Must he do this? Should the students rebel against him and break it? The only thing that is funny about it is when it beeps, Miss Roger's Sweater says, "The cake is done". McDiablo
he just wants to feel cool and special about his watch... you should get one too and see how accurate they are

Will my friend ever complete her ten page essay? McDiablo
yes but the last two pages will be written using her drool

Do you like washing the dishes? I find this to be the most disgusting chore imaginable. McDiablo
no i had to do it last night and it sucked... if i had a replicator i could just recycle it

Once again, the Barq's root beer shortage strikes again! Last night at 7 Eleven, there were no bottles of the stuff ... only Barq's Cream Soda. What's going on here?? McDiablo
i say you force your parents and miss rogers sweaters parents to move to a location where barqs is plentiful and jocks are not

Are there a lot of people living three inches below my front yard? casue if there are im afraid ... what should i do about it?
there are only a few that are just visiting there... so sell them a few 'you were here' postcards and make some money

Yeah ... so yesterday i was takeing out the trash ... and this guy tried to sell me some empty cans of lead.... so i told him to get his own .... was this a good response? -B@tch
yes... but if he asks you again you run into your garage, grab your bike and then chase him around with your bike as you scream 'polio!' .... when he finally collapses in fear and confusion, pop a wheelie and scream 'ye-haw!' then throw clumps of jello at him (pre-make these)

On my way to Europe last year i tripped and fell all the way down... when i got up i though of moving to china quickly .. but then came to my senses..... He told me i had wittnessed the finest of all goats and to never wash my hair again .. should i obay? -B@tch
not unless he stamped your hand

DO i get paid for my leeching of jam out of the old folks home? cause if i do .. then i want it by wednesday or not at all -B@tch
you're sure thats jam?

WHat would you do if you checked the mail and you found a postcard with a cow holding a pitchfork with a spleen on it?On a Sunday((no mail on sundays))?And its from Outer Space?-Skittles
i'd laugh... and then i'd be pissed that i couldn't be out in space

DC...I have a very serious question....if a turtle doesnt have a shell...is it nakey or homeless? should I give it clothes or build it a house? my thongs glow in the dark is that normal?--monkeeskittles
well first of all don't stare... they hate that... you go out and find them a new shell, but not some dirty shell you picked up off the street... make sure you talk to the turtle to determine what kind of shell it would like and how heavy/big it should be... then go find at least 3 shells for the turtle to pick from

Why is AMERICA online not contained in the U.S.
things from america tend to do that sorta thing...

Yea...You talk about how much "Pissmas" sucks, but I bet when people give you presents you glady except them, huh? Don't lie. What kind of scam are you running here, huh? Freak...-Pokey
i accept them but not gladly... i know the presents will be crap and that i have to smile and say thanks anyways just so things don't get shittier

a certain person who i know who is a total mook is spreading rumours about me and telling people im a slag when its not really true. im getting hugely angry and may crack and end up murdering her and getting in big stinky trouble. what can i do mr wise and all knowing dc
well first of all you stop giving a shit, and second of all, since you are clearly in highschool, you do some homework instead of thinking about shit like that... those people will all be dead one day and will you too, so who cares what they think

Ok. Recently I read an article that talked about the xbox 2. Short Story - it's supposed to be for gaming, dvd player, and a TiVo type thing. My question is, is this just a way to make Bill Gates our new god? Cause, I don't wanna worship BIll Gates. AnthraXboY
stay away from xbox its another annoying msproduct... go for playstation

i am sick with a cold right now and the mucus oozing from my nose is very very yellow. is this normal? i mean it's practically fluorescent... - SiNiSTaR
according to my mom yellow is ok

i have a zit on my nose and everyone at work now call me Rudolph. Do you think it is funny, especially since rudolph was an evil sonofabitch? - SiNiSTaR
its kinda funny but then again, people don't really pay that much attention to each other and if you didn't mention the zit at all, no one would notice

Don't you think people who type things like "y00 R s0 kewl" and "C U L8er" are stupider than a hat full of assholes? - SiNiSTaR
yes... twelve hats of assholes actually

What does the 'H' stand for in 'Jesus H. Christ'? - SiNiSTaR

why is my brother such a retarded dork? - Miss Roger's Sweater
he's your brother and it's his job... and your job is to be his bossy big sister... or freaky big sister... it depends on the day

is having dreams about school a bad thing? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not really... it's just annoying... especially when you're dreaming about going back in time and having to explain to the teachers that you don't know what class you're in because it was so long ago you don't remember and as if you're going to remember your locker combination so you have to ask them for help on that one too and so they go to send you home but you don't remember the keycode for that house since you moved away years ago

when babies are teething is it normal for them to want to suck on your finger? - Miss Roger's Sweater
why the hell would i know that?

am i going to have to pay way too much money for school this semester? -Miss Roger's Sweater
yes so make sure you take FULL advantage of it... oh and steal some textbooks

any ideas on how to make some quick money to pay for school? - Miss Roger's Sweater
becoming a hooker, selling really stupid shit that is hard to find on ebay, throwing yourself from buildings until you get a show like cky and jackass

I love you will you suck my cock now ?
no... if you love ME then you're the one who better start sucking to prove it

Hello folks. Today i am here to tell you about.... Wait nevermind no i am not thank you goodbye then, but before i leave Mr.DC what do you have to say about the world it is today ?
there are a few good parts but the humans are idiots

Are you a sick sadistic child moulester ? Just wana get this one down.In case any of you are wondering 'NNY is short for jhonny,short for Jhonen, JTHM, short for Johnny The Hommcidal Maniac but just 'NNY for short.ANy questions ?--->'NNY

Today i put some NYC sewer rats into my blender and stuffed Raggedy Ann Dolls with it. I then nailed the dolls to my wall and worshiped them. After an hour or so later the spooky dolls started to talk to me. They told me to kill my self and join theyre frowny faced legion of doom but then my rabbit told me not to do it. I then nailed him to the wall too. Then he told me to give it a noght to think it over. What should i do ? Should i kill myself? Why or Why not? Do you think theyd let me be Chief?
you should let the rabbit down, yes kill yourself because you are done here on earth... time to go be crazy somewhere else

Hey this is NNY' I forgot to post my name on my last question so umm....... The sppoky rat doll one was mine. umm ok. Oh yeah heres my question umm hey why dont they have condoms that when you cum, it inflates a cute little animal ? -->NNy'
i'd be pretty annoyed if they made condoms like that.... a little cum-filled balloon animal isn't what i want to see after having sex

I have a pic of me and my freind doing stupid shit. Some of it ccame from jackass but its still cool. Will you pay me if i send it to you ? Will you post it on the website ? Hey Why the hell not make a section for othjer people doing stupid shit ?--->NNY'
no i will not pay you... you should pay ME... and get your own space for posting your own shit

The other day i went to wet jimmys stinky fun meats and they told me to sit down. I was enraged at this behavior so i burned the place and saved the sock monkeys from the fire. I later bathed them i n wads of cash. Their names are john foreman and jacob ferg. are they related to you ? I have pics of them in sexual poses do you want them ?
yes i want the pictures, but only if they're free... and maybe they're related i don't know

If you ubdate your website today i will send you $10.00. so whadya say ?
well it's today so send me money

I am in desperate need of burning ... CDs that is. When the heck will I have enough money to buy some blank CDs? McDiablo
steal from that chick you hang around with... you know... the one with the sweater

How bad is it that I forgot my course registration date and time is next week? McDiablo
you need more coffee... or maybe coffee slurpees

Why can't we bathe ourselves like cats? I bet saliva cleans our skin better than water ever will. McDiablo
well we can bathe some parts like cats...

What the truck is 'innervision'? McDiablo
its that thing you see when you're human and you can't see past your own forehead... oh no wait... that's religion...

Hey where did the Real Barbie Dolls section go?? That was my favorite part of this site.--Syko Morgana
its in the lists section but i'm nice so here is the link

Why are they asking how much wood a wood chuck can chuck IF he could chuck wood, I mean obviously he can chuck wood because he is a wood chuck, so why are they saying IF I mean you don't say how much honey can a bee make if a bee could make honey, bees CAN make honey we all know this. I mean they aren't called honey-makers, so my point is, why are they calling wood chuckers wood chuckers if they can't really chuck wood?--Syko Morgana
haha you said WOOD

i genuinely feel very depressed. i have no one to turn to. my parents hate me and i cant trust my friends. i feel bored lonely confused frustrated angry and worthless. what can io do to improve the situation
write stories about killing them all and sell them so you can move away

how can i genuinely learn how to not care what other people think
well i'd tell you but then you'd abuse that and turn into one of those assholes that do shit to others because they don't care about how they feel anymore

If I put a clock in the mashed potatoes and then I left it there, would you a) hurry up and take it out b)leave it there for the lemors, or c) go make a pie out of urine and whip cream?
b ... the lemons have done so much for me it's the least i can do

why do they even sell diet sodas at fast food restaurants? yea like after you just shove your face full of greasy french fries and hamburgers, a diet soda is really going to make a difference...--Syko Morgana
people are stupid... they somehow feel that this is less 'bad'... the people i truly don't understand are the ones who drink caffeine-free diet cola... what the hell is the point?

i was looking at stuff that comes in the box that you send out, and I noticed a very ugly t-shirt. will that be in every box? I would really like a very-ugly shirt. I proabaly wont send my money out unless I can be guarenteed of a very ugly t-shirt. What do you say? I am willing to pay extra to get a very ugly t-shirt. Have you worn the shirt? Does it have your pit stains on it? I will pay more $$$ for size of pit stain. Okay. THe funny thing is you proablay think Im joking..Im not.
well yes we were planning on having a crappy tshirt in each box... and the shirt in the picture may still be around... we were also going to put a really bad cd in each box too... no i haven't worn the shirt... but you pay me to and i will...

my cat is begging me for my bagel. He attacked my face and told me if I didnt give him my blue berry bagel then he'd go and hack into the insane domain and make bad things happen. Im sad, what will i do? I cant give him the bagel, because it was given to me by my great grandma.
give the cat the bagel

Whats been happening lately with you? Sally
well some people went away and then they came back but while they were gone things got busy but it's ok now but i'm hungry so now i have to make food...

Allright dc answer me this would you kill someone if they pissed you off enough by asking you shitty questions?
not unless they paid me too... or lived nearby

How come americans don't know when thanksgiving is? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they do... they don't know when the canadian one is... they had people come over and slaughter thousands at a different time then us

am i the only person with a window in my shower? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no... and your neighbor thanks whoever installed it

why does it take so long for a candle to burn? - Miss Roger's Sweater
that's its job and you should thank it

do hickys kill people or is that just a thing to scare a person
well if you suck hard enough then it can get dangerous... so if you suck a lot then i'd be scared

Have you ever been in love?
yes... it hurt and now it's over

Why do comet's tails face away from the sun? Do sock monkeys' tails face away from the sun?
well as they approach the sun the solar winds become stronger forcing bits to fly off behind it ... at least thats what i think

I am really pissed off at my friend. Former friend that is. What should I send him in the mail? FartMonkey
hair... pubic hair... cat hair... dog hair... human hair

Has anybody ever actually sent you guys money? FartMonkey
one person but i think it was by accident... but you have no way of proving otherwise

What happens if I drink a whole bottle of sunblock lotion? FartMonkey
well i'd assume that your insides would become stronger then the effects of the suns rays... you could then fly around the universe with your new-found powers and fight the evil bunnies with the wigs

Has a tall skinny unshaven man been standing outside your door with a gun demanding celery? If the answer is yes, I would like him returned ASAP...If a bargain is necessary I am willing to give you a crate of canned goods featuring ugly people on the labels. FartMonkey
not lately... if i see them then i will be sure to send him your way

How much you want for this piano? FartMonkey
some clay... maybe some paper

I think it's dead now. Do you think so? FartMonkey
the only you can know for sure is to bite it

How come I have to shave EVERY CURSED DAY and it still looks like I haven't??
the universe hates you and this is just one one of it's ways of reminding you how shitty it is to be human

did you know that the Ancient Medians had the coolest system for making a law? They would make the law when sober, and then get pissed and see if it still sounded good. If it did, they kept it. If it didn't, they made up a new one while pissed. They came up with some kooky laws. - Fish
ancient medians? you mean all modern governments right?

Incidentally, to set the record straight, I was not talking to you, DC, when I was raving about my dear uncle MR. Bluegill, but the heinous, atavistic, apocalyptically stupid, ugly and evil shit who said he was trying to catch him about 6 days ago. I apologise for any inconvenience. Methinks you will help me claim revenge on this sick human being? - Fish
well i suppose i can concentrate on one human for awhile... i say you send him mismatched plates until he goes mad and smashes them all and then cries

would you believe that my retarded brother is actually two years older than me? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i think your parents are lying just to try to make him feel a bit better about himself

for my msn nickname tomorrow should i use "the one iwth the sweater"? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i say you use "SweaterSlurpy"

I have been ranting a lot lately. Is this healthy or am I annoying people? McDiablo
who cares what those people think?

Why is it that items for Christmas are starting to be sold in certain stores in AUGUST of all months? McDiablo
they have nothing better to do and want to make you vomit

would you do a worksheet on biofeedback, cuz i don't like them - Miss Roger's Sweater
no unless you paid me great amounts of money and a ship made of gold

do you know that your answers to questions make McDiablo and I giggle? - Miss Roger's Sweater
giggle enough to wet your pants? maybe even just a little???

Everyone keeps telling me that I should watch/rent the move "Billy Madison". I've only seen half of it. Should I watch the whole thing to get these people to shut up? McDiablo
have them pay for the movie if they want you to see it so much...

does the freaky old lady at 7-eleven have it out for me? she always gives me dirty looks.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
she's just jealous... we all know that... just tell her "quit the mind-games you old bag, it's not my fault jfk got shot"

If you stabbed a smurf with a pitchfork covered in the jaundice virus and he caught the virus, would he turn green? - Fish
only under the arms

Would you help me spank the legions of sleeping canteloupes that populate the mediocrity of this forsaken land? If I found you (and the rest of The InsaneDomain brass) a gig, housed you, fed you vegetarian food and kept you stoned during your stay, would you consider making the three or four hour drive to my city to perform some insanity for us? We really need it. I'm thinking spring or early summer. I have some decent contacts and I used to perform a lot but, I've been hiding for a couple of years, occassionally hinting at return to keep my contacts while scheming about what would really make it worth getting sucked back into the social obligations that come with it all. I would love to do a show with you and Dick Acidsoxx on the bill. Check out dick at acidsoxx.com. They sent me two of their cds free for my birthday and I know if I could get them I could get one of the local college stations to help out because that's where I found dick and I used to be in a band with with one of the djs. I'm mailing you gifts tomorrow before noon and I plan on paying extra to make sure you get it because last time I tried to send you money it came back to me. I don't use credit cards. You're brilliant and I curse the unspeakable amount of money I've squandered on mental health care that I should have sent to you.You deserve to be paid.This is my idea of a "love" letter in the least romantic sense of the word. This is Pure Science. No hearts and flowers here. Just baking soda and vinegar. Can you hear the wheezing crackle of life convulsing into the beast? So many rotten potatoes, rubberbands and pennies brought to life in our image... the hideous brainchild feasting at The Mother Board... Enfante Terrible
i haven't even had my coffee yet... and that was a lot of words... where am i going? i'm not going anywhere with the rest of these freaks... i'll send jcp to perform for you... chicks end up getting more money anyways... hey did you say i was getting stuff in the mail??? that'd rock... unless it's more subscriptions to stupid magazines that i find hard to believe anyone would ever read... are my gifts cds? free cds are always good... damn i need my coffee... where is a personal assistant when you need one??

I can't understand why someone would always leave his computer showing the "It is now safe to turn off your computer." thingie when he goes home from work! Why not turn it all the way off? (Omuletzu)
they are stupid and lazy... or just want to get the hell away so leave before that screen comes up

what would you do if you saw a pool of blood on the sidewalk
roll around in it while giggling... that's right GIGGLING

why do giraffes need water
same reason geese do

What time is it?--PhYcO cHiLd

Theres a guy named John London who lives in my tree he's going to assinate Rusty what should I do?
find david bowie, explain the situation to him, once he gives you directions, go to the location he tells you and do what he says... then everything will be ok...

why do people refer to getting beat up as, "getting their ass handed to them"?
i have never heard this term used so i'm going to have to assume that you are lying to me... i'm not sure why you would do this... maybe you have some issues like the rest of us where you make things up due to bordem and then forget what is real but hey it keeps us on our toes doesn't it?

noodles! noodles everywhere. what shall we do with them all?
fling them off the surface of the planet... then create a ring of bodies out there in space... if they ever fall back to the planet it will be a good scare

what would you do for a klondike bar?-syko morgana
i've been thinking about that and i would be willing to put forth enough effort to unwrap the bar to get one... anything beyond that is too much work and can't someone else do it for me?

so i go against my own will and i watch that pathetic lump of human waste Oprah and she has on there obese teens, who cry and eat and feel sorry for them selves. Do you think obeseity is the parents fault(as one of Oprah's stupid shrinks say) and a result of depression and not getting enough attention,or do you think that those kids are just fat lazy ass pigs who like to eat at McDonalds too much?--syko morgana
i think it depends on the person as each person has their own issues... generalizations suck... get it? yea i need my coffee still... and don't watch her anymore... she sucks

Answer the question you've always been waiting to be asked... hope you understand what I want. (Omuletzu)
my answer is 'being dead.'

Mrs. Sun (name's translated) just came to ask us if anyone of us is messing with the Oracle server, cause she got an error on the screen... and... What's up with that? (Omuletzu)
tell mrs sun to shut up or you'll kick her ass into the shredder

I have to build a computer from scratch and I need and expert's advice. What to buy and when to buy? You know, to get the most from the money (don't have too much money). Why won't anyone give me money? Oh, wait, they are giving me money... Anyway, computer? (Omuletzu)
well that depends on what you want to do and how well you know computers... if you're building it yourself or having someone else do it... how much money you have to spend... so answer those questions... give me your credit card and i'll go buy the stuff you need, put it together for you and mail it out you... and if you want xp you can just install it yourself as i will have no part in that...

If you are almighty, as it's written above the pathetic question field, why do you still want our almighty dollar? (Omuletzu)
i like almighty things

What does JCP stand for? (Omuletzu)
her initials of her name... she's not cool enough to have a real nickname

What is with mothers and homework?......i havint dona a stich of homework and i failed the 2 most subjects that i studied for and the res are a's and b's
it's their job... didn't you get the child/parent handbook?

Did the FAQ know that if you spell it like this : FA-Q, it says Fuck You? -Asterz
did you know that people have too much time to waste on that sort of shit and it is this very sort of spelling annoyances that encourages those idiots to use words such as 'wazup, yo', y r u, and pleze'

Will there be enough seats so I can get the classes I want? McDiablo
not in all the classes

Do you object to my tie-belt? Who the hell invented manties? McDiablo
what the hell are you talking about??? have you had too much sugar today?

there is a lil' voice who lives in my head, and he keeps using all my kleenex,and i keep telling him to replace them but he refuses and he has a bad mother fucking mouth whhhhhhatttttttsssssss uppppppppp with that?
well you know how some people can be... and this is just one of those things you learn to deal with until you find yourself trying to dig holes in concrete with plastic straws just to prove to the voices that there is no candy buried there

I pled temporary insanity in court once but the oddest thing happened they didnt believe the temerary part Why??--kleenex girl
i had the very same problem... apparently it was solved with those pills i flushed

Why do you love me? why do you love Rusty? Why do you love Sean? What is Rusty wearing? Why cant Sean win at pinball?
once there was this duck that flew over to this place where all the trees had fallen down and his name was plaitus and he liked his name but wasn't sure how he knew it was his name since no one had ever told him that it was it was his name he just knew it was... the end

What does cheesecake sound like? kleenex girl
the strawberry sounds like violins, the raspberry is just loud and the chocolate emits high-pitched noises that make my ears bleed

By the time i get to how long, how long has it been? Kleenex girl
about that long

What does Letterman taste like? I know Conan tastes rreaaaaaaaalllllllll good. why does Lenno has a big chin?
if you think conan tastes good then i think you'll love how letterman tastes

Why do PpL have to go to the batroom?
batrooms? i haven't seen many of those and last time i did there was a sign saying we weren't allowed to go in because they were endangered but the sign looked like it had been written by bats so it was probably just them trying to sleep off their hangovers that day

I met a duck in a bowling alley once he has really big feet and he just started talking to me and he tought me all these new things I could do and then one day I got into trouble with the law and the duck ended up being the warden cool eh?
yea... was it plaitus?

Last night I heard a little bit of crying and whimpering coming from the corner of my living room. It was coming from inside the wall. I busted the wall open, and I found a little nest of new born baby sock monkies. I dont know what to feed them, but I stroke their little tails a lot and they seem to enjoy that. But what I want to know if you can help me with is how will I take care of them? Or should I Just hand them over to you wait never mind you might pawn off the poor little things for money on Ebay...Sick ass..But really, what do I feed them?-Syko Morgana
stuffing... chips... cheese... oreo cookies... more socks... and just admit you love my sickass

I started naming the baby sock monkies. I named one of them DC, in honor of you. Do you have any other suggestions? My stupid friend says I should name one AC, for Angel child. God, haha. Isnt that just plain stupid? Should I shoot her now or just wait? -Syko Morgana
yes... right away... just ask them what names they want or just make up names that aren't really names at all... they like color names too

what is a ceramic biscut?-syko morgana
it's people not getting me coffee like they should

what if i eat the cake and then go to sleep?
then as long as you brush your teeth there is no problems

is it ok to count canoes on the ceiling while at a punk show? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... as long as you don't don't keep losing count and having to start over

what should i write about for my long poem for creative writing? - Miss Roger's Sweater
write it about people who cry into glasses into they are full so they can swallow their sorrow

Why must I cramp so?~SG*
that is the universe reminding you it sucks to be human

Do you prefer tangerines or oranges? FartMonkey
depends on the day really

Do you really speak French in Canada? Is there any Canada-France rivalry? FartMonkey
some people do... some people don't... many people speak many different languages here which is interesting... the french here are not the same as those in france... there is some quebec-english issues but that's because all people suck

god damnit this page is starting to suck everything is really old now and im sorry dc but if you dont do something it fast, i might have to injure you badly. how would you like that?
i say go on and spank me big boy

Are you out of dino heads or are you just being stingy? - SiNiSTaR
i'm being stingy and they just don't like you people anymore

what does anal sex feel like? - SiNiSTaR
to some they like it... to others they don't... the only way to know for sure is to try... shall i expect you later tonight?

My friend told me that lepers don't have to buy bags of chips cause they can eat the flakes that fall off their skin, do you think that's funny, gross or just plain mean? - SiNiSTaR
well if a leper came to buy chips from me i'd just give it to them so at that point i guess if they could have either items that it would be a matter of taste for the leper... and if they ate their skin that would be gross but kind of interesting to watch

Can i get a double tall, decaf, low-fat vanilla latte? - SiNiSTaR
a what? have you heard of coffee-flavored coffee? and speaking of which... i would like to annouce my true hatred for krispie kreme doughnuts or however it's spelt... i would like all their stores to burn in sugary flames

would you rather be dirt poor but happy as a clam or filthy rich and as miserable as miserable can be? - SINiSTaR
if i were miserable and rich then at least i could do some damage to others... or maybe make those dirt poor happy people richer happy people and maybe i wouldn't feel so miserable and i wouldn't be so rich

Come to think of it, if you're really poor you're DIRT poor, and if you're really rich you're FILTHY rich. So what are you if you're sorta like in between? - SiNiSTaR
you're clean and wanting to get filthy or clean and getting dirtier by the minute

Why do people think breakfast is the most important meal of the day? I don't like half of the stuff one serves at breakfast. McDiablo
they try to feed you mush in the mornings... it's just to confuse you... if you eat something make it something you like...

I just found out how to take a picture of my desktop....how come I feel more dorkier with this added knowledge? McDiablo
well you are heading down the trail to geekdom but that's ok... there is plenty of room here... just stay away from those D&D people or you'll never see the light of day again

When will the ringing in my ear go away? McDiablo
not for awhile... i hate when that happens... I SAID I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS

What do you think of that guy that only sweats in the one armpit?
i think he works for the FAA

how would you feel about having a trading money system where rabbit fetus's are the currency?
i would not be happy with that... children are sick

god i hate fucking pregnant chicks who waddle around with their nasty tummys all blown up and round ithink they should be shot for reproducing and thinking that their offspring is worthy of anything i really honestly would like to rip the fetus's out of their stomachs and make them eat it. am i sick or is this normal?
well you're sick in only blaming the chick... if you're going to do that to the chick then you better find the guy who did it and rip out his insides too... they are both to blame

Alexander the Great named all of the cities he founded "Alexandria"... couldn't he think of anything else?
maybe he liked that name... and who are you to question him???

dc what if, what if there is no tomorrow what will you do with today? and what i should do?
i would get stoned and burn everything i own so no one else can have it and you should do the same thing

do i need a slurpee for me to be able to write my poem for class? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but only half of one

why does my lung hurt? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it has nothing better to do

did you know it's possible for a baby to sneeze when he has a soother in his mouth? - Miss Roger's Sweater
enough about the babies... babies suck

I ate a doughnut today, but my nose was so stuffed up that I could hardly taste it. How sad is that?? McDiablo
sad and you better not sneeze while you're here... the rest of us don't want to be infrected

Should I start doing my homework? McDiablo
yes and make sure that after that you clean your room again

I start working as the good 'ol stocking kid at Purdy's Chocolates in a few weeks. Would you like me to introduce you to all the boxes? McDiablo
no... i'm not into chocolate... and those boxes are just rude

would you laugh too if someone held a toy bunny up to you and flicked it's ear saying "doot"? -Miss Roger's Sweater
no... not really... i might hurt the person who did that... and them being in pain would be funny

Why does the one person I do not like in this world keep phoning me? McDiablo
it is to ensure that they stay at the top of your hate list

who would you bring if you were stuck on an uninhabited island with no fresh water barley any food and nothing to start a fire with to signal the search being flown by drunken blind people? the doctor, the carpenter, or the super model
the doctor... i know how to build things so i don't need a carpenter... and the super model is useless unless i killed it and ate it for food

I have finally finished my homework. Do you think this will teach me never to procrastinate again ... or to, uh, not procrastinate this WEEK? McDiablo
no it won't... you haven't learnt a thing and you know it

My parents told me to lay off Slurpees for the rest of the week. What do you think of this? McDiablo
i think that they are the people who are hiding your socks and moving your shoes around when you're not looking

Don't you think 'emo' is a funny word? McDiablo
no.. but emu is

Should I put on my sweater and cry? Wait, I am wearing a sweater....should I just cry then?? McDiablo
cry into your hooded sweater

*bows to DC* *petting tail* Do you believe in the little people? I do! But what EXACTLY are they? ~*~Rach, The Crazy Lil' Pyro
of course or they'd kick my ass and they are little people...

is there any reasons why I should listen to what you say?
well it's better then listening to the tv

I think Science SUCKS. Don't you?--Syko morgana
no.. it's better then that bullshit they call religion

do you have a favorite "munchie" food?
cheese... ? yea i like cheese and crackers

why is my goddamn moronic boss trying to play matchmaker with every bozo who wants to fuck me up the ass? I already have a goddamn boyfriend!!! - SiNiSTaR
tell him to knock it off because its sexual harrassment

my hair's looking really damn great for the past couple of weeks, i eally got my money's worth.... my question is how can i maintain it and make sure it looks this damn great ALL the time? I live in fear of this great hair spell ending... - SiNiSTaR
what? your hair? it's just hair... shave it all off

will you spank me and pour flour on me?
yes... just don't ask me about hair

will you eat bagels with me on a fine winters day while wearing totally nothing and having a covnersation about celerey?
yes but if i get bored of celery i'm talking about carrots

did you know celerey has absoultley no nutritional value? I love celerey. Will you make a section dedicated to celerey like you did with the pickles?
carrots are orange

Will my voice get back to normal soon so I don't scare the insurance people who phone me with its gross nasally-ness? McDiablo
no you won't and they like it when you talk to them like that

Did I do something bad at a young age to be cursed with freezing cold hands and feet? McDiablo
no you have your parents to blame and the earth for its weather patterns

Hi DC. Another question on my stray sock monkies I have taken in. How do I bathe them? Do I just throw them in the wash with the rest of my clothes or will that kill them?and do i feed them potatoe chips or tortilla chips?--syko morgana
you fill up the tub with about 6 inches of warm to hot water (depending on how they like it) and you let them play in it... do not leave them unattended while in the tub...and any chips is ok

If you could have ANYTHING for a hand,what would it be?-Skittles
a sword

Indeed I threatened to catch Mr. Bluegill, and indeed I've CAUGHT HIM! My job is complete. My question to you, DC, is - bake or fry?

Is it ok for guys to wear ties?
if they like to wear nooses then i don't see why they can't

Do you like system of a down ?
i like a few of their songs

On a fortune cookie it said that my lucky number was 666. Is there a problem with that ?
no... why would there be?

Hey you know that blink 182 song cocksucker motherfuck ? They took George Collins words in that. He was listing all the words you can't say on family t.v. . So that song is Bull shit and not cool. Wouldnt you agree ?
yes but what do you expect? it's not like they're going to come up with some masterpiece of work that gives you insight into the workings of the universe

I satpeled douche bags to a stop sign. Is there a problem with that ? the cops said there was.--> NNY'
well ask the cops why there was a problem

Freaks Flock Together ... is this an accurate statement? McDiablo

Does bad grammar bother you? McDiablo
sometimes it bothers me greatly

Where did that lad go? I said 'lad' ... dang, I'm getting older and older sounding everyday. What's up with that? McDiablo
you're getting old and one day you will die clutching your miss rogers sweater

Isn't Norway a strange shape? If you were to take norway, stand it up vertically on its Southernmost point and let it fall in a southernly direction, where would its northernmost point land?
why would you do that to norway?

Why don't you give out good question awards anymore ?---> NNY'
the question is... why don't you ASK good questions anymore?

if i paid an extra 40 bucks for the insane snail mail would you send me a picture of what you REALLY look like?
yes but i'd be lying

Do green roosters only grow when they are sent to live in the garbage cans with the one guy from sesame street who lives in the garbage can? cuz i dont think thats very fair.
i think that all of this is unfair and why does it have to suck when its not even sucking as bad as it does for other people but damnit it all still sucks and i can think that all i want

How many notes will we take tonight in Psychology? Will my fingers be achin' like they were last week? McDiablo
yes and then you'll drop your pen and someone will step on your fingers... hurting them further

I have to start work on Monday ... at a chocolate store. I take the boxes of chocolates and put them on the shelves to look pretty. I did the same job at this store during Valentine's and Easter. Have the boxes missed me? McDiablo
sure they have... and i'm going to go mess them all up

How does one get rid of that lovely greasy egg and sausage smell? McDiablo
don't eat disgusting greasy eggs and sausages

What is up with my sleeping habits? I mean, I woke up at 7:47 today (and thought, 'Hehee, that's a plane'), then went back to sleep. I woke up again and it FELT like I'd been asleep for hours...but it was only 2 hours later. Is my clock playing tricks on me? McDiablo
no your body is playing tricks on you... it does all sorts of crazy shit while you're asleep

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