What do you do with your spare time? http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-88.htm
(4th picture down)
i left the link there because that picture
is funny... i think it's one of my cousins
will I bomb my essay tomorrow afternoon? McDiablo
pretty badly but 2 years from now you'll forget about it for a
few minutes until someone reminds you how horribly you failed
it through an email
do you think
that "carrots fuck the earth" ? cuz the lady who read
poetry said that. - Miss Roger's Sweater
i think she meant 'salad'
on TV is yelling. Is he yelling at my dad? Should I get my dad
to kick his ass? McDiablo
yes you should... your dad can totally kick that guys ass
my brother, he did not come home last night.. which of his 'gal
pals' is he hanging with tonight? - Miss Roger's Sweater
the one with the playstation 2
Is it just
me, or are there a lot of famous bands coming out lately whose
band name begins with "The"? McDiablo
they are just trying to be like THEinsanedomain.com
do you like
Drop D tuning or Standard tuning? - Miss Roger's Sweater
the sock monkey get adopted? I think he's supercool. McDiablo
no he's sitting here beside me actually... won't talk to me though
multi-cultural and celebrate Dee-Wally (diwali) ? - Miss Roger's
i'm not sure, and i've never heard of that
i have ADD
do you? i was also gonna ask... ooh time for my ritilin, cool
the simpsons are on... -monkie boy
no i don't i just get bored easily
different breeds of sock monkies?
of course... and many different colors
your opinion on the legalization of marijuana?
i think it should be legalized with the same restrictions as alcohol
you think of carving pumpkins? FartMonkey
i think it's fun when people give me sharp objects so i can cut
things and then they take them away and it's not so fun anymore
because then i can't cut up things anymore
fire outside is lots of fun... ice inside is only good in beverages...
so i vote for dirt
I were to ask you how to get my boyfriend back? Wait, I have never
had a boyfriend. Boys are dumb. Girls are stupid too. Humans suck
in general. Glad I'm a sock monkey. FartMonkey
you for that little duck toy....will you accept a clock, some
glue, and 17 Mary Jane's? FartMonkey
yes i will... thank you for your business
at halloween they sell large bags of candy bars, but really small,
like a square inch, and label it "FUN SIZE"? What's
so damn fun about gettin cheated out of 3 inches of candy bar?
they are lying bastards who put names and slogans on things so
they can cram more crap that you don't need down your throat...
don't fall for it!
monkey if it were that simple i wouldnt have asked the question.
On that porn site it doesnt tell you what the movie is it just
says "movie" than it loads...and you get a surprise.
and also (namelsess) is a really stupid unoriginal peice of shit
alias and that kid should get the shit beat out of him for being
so gay(please remember to answer my original question instead
of make a comment about agreeing or disagreeing with nameless'
gay name)thanx yo(kult0vazazel)
how about you stop your bitching and find a different site if
you don't like that one? if you can't figure that out for yourself
then maybe you should just stick to renting videos from a porn
store or just buying them so you'll never have to deal with confusion
ever considered charging a dollar a question? Just think about
how rich you'd be. McDiablo
as if you cheap bastards would send me a dollar... and if you
say you would then do it
I have come
to the point that when I'm writing I forget letters in words.
What is going on here? Am I losing my mind (again)? McDiablo
yes you are but thats ok because you will find it under the bed
along with what your mom describes as 'the pit of hell mess' that
you somehow think she won't notice if you pull the bedsheets to
eat anything that looks like owl barf with chips on top (aka:
Chicken Delight)? McDiablo
i can safely say no
My mom had
to take a Food Safe course and she was worried that she'd fail
the test. She passed with 96 % (the highest in the class). What
the hell was she worried about?? McDiablo
she was worried that you had to get perfect... take her out for
It is funny.
We just got a German Shepard Puppy. I reciently spent an entire
houre watching the declawed cat atempt to beat the living shit
out of the puppy. Oh Ya What should I burn next? (Nameless)
burn the wooden carvings
Russ, he's on your webpage, against medical advice, hes an insane
motherfukker aint he? do you think he'll ever get over that salamander
swallowing problem? and do you think all of us at Team AMA can
come over and party with you guys, if we give you five bucks?
five bucks EACH... and i'm not allowed to have people over for
if i trade
you grand theft auto vice city, can you give me your soul? and
can i have a sock monkey carcass?- weirdofreako
only if you throw in playstation 2 as well... and maybe later
i join your cult of insane sock monkeys? im a monkey too... no
really, i am... -monkie boy
i don't believe you ... and that fake glued on tail isn't fooling
two of your title web links... am i drunk? i can hear my brain
cells screaming out... nevermind its just the voice in my head
named monkie boy -weirdofreako
i have many voices in my head but my favorite is the one that
likes to pick at scabs until they bleed and bleed and bleed
why do you
do when your kid is a brat?
all kids are brats... there is no WHEN... and it's your own fault
for breeding so punish yourself
your favorite candy?
um... i'm not really a candy kinda monkey...
it, will i finish it? if so, how will it turn out?will it be good?
no you won't because it will turn out crappy but that's ok you'll
find something else
supply me with Ten Tips to Terrific Toenails? FartMonkey (I mean
like for cooking, not for making people look at my feet, thats
1. toenails and feet should be hidden by socks and shoes... steps
2 through 10 refer to 1
Is it a
bad thing if your own ass starts talking to you? FartMonkey
that all depends on what its trying to convince you to do
me lightbulbs run on electricity. Frankly I think it's all lies.
Can you tell me what's really inside light bulbs and what makes
them light up?FartMonkey
well i'm getting to that damnit... i'm only on light waves right
If you stand
on a roof waving at cars, and a flying squirrel takes flight somewhere
within 200 miles from you in any direction, will the temperature
of the coffee waiting on the stove in the road go up by thirty
degrees, or will Jacob come from the mountain to fetch the sacred
jacob comes down and burns himself on the coffee but he deserves
it for that whole ladder trick he pulled last week with the bucket
you want me to bring home milk tonight? opps..maybe people werent
suppose to know we were living together? Will I be punished? *prays
no i don't like milk and they all know because of the webcams
i have all over the place
site is sooo fast! How do you ever do it? (Omuletzu)
we use the most aerodynamic font we can
soap in Europe looks like cheese? McDiablo
i've never seen soap in europe... so either send me some, send
me to europe so see some or shut the hell up
in Psych. class, my friends burst out laughing when the instructor
said 'PNS'. I had made the comment earlier that when you add two
vowels in 'PNS', it spells out a word that apparently causes a
portion of the population to giggle. Will they ever look at the
abbreviation for the Peripheral Nervous System the same way again?
i don't think they will... but at least you've brought joy to
their sad little lives... next time try using some puppets too
Is it bad
that I've watched 'Gladiator' three days in a row? Would you like
me to hum the background music for you? McDiablo
hell no and it was bad enough i had to see it once
to put up the questionaire and what-if's up!!!!!!or you know what
they're up so how about you pay me for it??? and i still expect
and my gf are togeather for 6 mos today that is wonderful tont
you just love being togeather with the one you love?
if you're trying to make me vomit up my own bowels in utter disgust
then mission accomplished
I have a
phoebia of over flowing toilet bowls. Has anyone ever heard of
such a thing? And if you have do you know what it might be called
its called not wanting shit floating around your ankles... and
the worst is when you dream about the overflowing toilets... having
to stand there and watch it...
Why do little
daisies talk to me when the grey mice come?
well i'm not sure but why are you making grey mice come
do you listen
to music while updating these questions? what is playing now?
yes i do... i almost always listen to music while on my computer...
manson - disassociative
do the grey
mice want to be my friend or do they only want my wool blankets?Should
I just give the mice the wool blankets anyway? They look sort
well since you're touching them i say they probably do want your
blankets... i say share it with them... they'll like that a lot
playstation 2 with grand theft auto 3? My brother has both...I
will steal them from him if you give me the same thing in return.
yes i do... and i can't... i don't have any obviously
WHY IS THE
MONKIES EYES DOING THAT?! Please make him stop! It's hurting me
so much! Please. Why? :(
ask him... i'm a totally different sock monkey
ever heard of making acid from oranges and toothpaste I need some
no i haven't and i stopped taking acid many years ago so find
ya from?? and how old are ya?? LOL!
a distant planet that i can't seem to get back to and in earth
years i'm in my 20s
will you still be a demon child? Will you ever grow up? (Omuletzu)
forever and not if i can help it
If I make
this 3D pic of a huge insane contraption that does nothing, will
you post it on your site? (Omuletzu)
if we like it and didn't take up lots of space/bandwidth...
cat keeps spying on me from the dark. What does that mean? Am
I in danger? (Omuletzu)
you should be happy the cat even notices you are alive... bring
I was browsing
through theinsanedomain and it hit me! Ouch! Question: Did you
have more stuff posted and you took it off? I'm especially interested
in random rantings. (Omuletzu)
yes there are things that have disappeared over the years from
the site... other things have gotten shuffled around to different
areas... there is a lot of stuff so its hard to keep it all organized...
here are the random
rantings that are currently online... there used to be a whole
section of other rants about movies/music and stuff but it was
removed a few years ago
A few weeks
ago at school we had an insane rampage. We stole 150 metres of
builders taoe, wrapped foetish up in it so you could only see
his head, carried him into the principal's office, put him on
the desk, said "Happy Birthday!" and walked out again.
You like? - Fish
very nice... did you slap a bow on it too?
my cat has
learnt that it can get me to feed it by headbutting my bedroom
door till it opens, jumping up on my bed and miaowing and clawing
me until I get up. What does this portend, and is it correct that
I am always doing his bidding? - Fish
yes it is correct you must do the cats bidding... and since you
are a fish you are lucky it doesn't eat your gilled ass
in my grandmas escort, some punk ass eagle talon starts reving
his stupid engine. Then I said, grandma, buckle up. She told me
to smoke em! Then I flipped him the bird. He screamed DSM rules!
Then my grandma screamed talons lick nutz. After we smoked him
by a few car lengths, grandma put on the hazard lights to indicate
the win. I was so happy. I didnt think it was possible to beat
a mighty DSM. Well I did and my grandma took me to dairy queen
for some victory blizzards. Till next time boys and girls. ESCORTS
RULE! The moral of the story is if you see a DSM dont run and
hide, just smoke them and then go for ice cream! did you like
no i must admit i didn't... i don't like escorts
surgery on a dust bag was gross. who has that much hair and kitty
litter in their vaacum?
damnit so i didn't know there was a damned bag that gets emptied
somehow... i just use it until it stops working and then complain
to someone until they fix it for me...
why do you
do when your date pukes on you? For real man..That is so fucking
gross. I want to shove his own puke back down his throat. I mean,
would it possibly be so hard just to turn your head the other
way, or over your lap, when you felt the chunks rising? Instead,
you had to redirect the vomit in my directions as if that was
the only option.
shove the puke down his throat... or bounce his head off a hard
object until he's no longer puking
you devoted so much of you time to answering usless question (like
this one) from figments of your imagination. But besides that
I enjoy reading the not so stupoid questions and answers and sometimes
the stupid ones, and wish for you to continue .
well you see... this is how i have chosen to waste my life away...
and it would be nice if you sent me stuff so i could play with
stuff when i'm not answering questions or doing that 'day job'
I fell down
a well and it didn't make the news. What should I do? FartMonkey
fall down better
So is the
world really round?FartMonkey
well MY world is always kinda changing but the EARTH is mostly
anything even remotely interesting to the rest of us freaks
i adopt a sock monkey and how much money does it cost?
here and it cost $25 canadian... contact
through here if you really want one... or wait till we have
them on ebay for you to buy
was walking to my friends house and on the corner of his block
(which is very close to his house there was a nearly naked sock
monkey on corner saying to me "wanna have some fun"
what was that sock monkey doing. This is the guywho has asked
you the question about how to adopt sock moneys and why yopu have
devted your life to answering questions from figments of your
imaginations and all of them in the day my friend told me about
this site ( not the friend in this question) i will continueto
ask you question before i ask anyone else. thank you for your
the sock monkey wanted some fun... but i'm sure its a dirty cum
filled sock monkey like that one in the picture so you should
get one from us and fill it yourself
pixies - where is my mind
is the same guy about the "corner sock monkey" my name
online name is ShadowClaws this is not a question but i thought
it would be nice not to have to explain who i am every time i
ask a question
well that's why some people have had the wonderful idea to just
put their nickname after the questions they ask... imagine!
Do you have
any idea about phoebias, like you are affraid of people, specifically
a mass of people. Its not that I'm insecure, I just don't want
to see people
i'm afraid of people in malls... people who drive badly... and
children in buggies... all peope suck
ever been to trinidad? would you like to come? are you interested
in carnival and all that shit?
no i haven't... sure if you are paying... and no
not a question but i would just like to say that i have been advertising
for you in the aol chat rooms i have been trying to convert all
the gay people in them with your sock monkey porn.-ShadowClaws
p.s. if they were stupid enough to be gay in the first place they
dont deserve to be here.
see you handled that nickname thing easily... and i don't think
you should be trying to convert 'gay' people into something else..
i think you're just trying to suck up to me and trying to make
me create more sock monkey porn so you can secretly print it off
and line your closet walls with it
5 feet long pubic hair and run arond naked with floral printed
high-heels and suit cases!!! please?
you can do that if you'd like... just stay the hell out of my
Im really in love with my boyfriend, but I Think he's cheating
on me because i found my best friends phone number in his wallet,
and i caught them hanging out last night when he was suppose to
be at his parents house so what should i do? should i break it
off now or just forgive him and start over?
your boyfriend is a dumbass and you're a dumbass for asking this
send you me in a box..with play station 2, but the play station
is in my stomach, so you gotta fuck me first, then ill throw it
up and you can have it and then ill send my self back home, deal?--syko
fine fine but i'm not wearing that silly hat again... the boots
sure... but not the hat
any particular reason that americans insist on spelling the English
language wrong? And others too, for that matter. E.g. "Paedophile"
is most often spelt "pedophile". WRONG. "To"
is NOT the same as "too" or "2" or "two".
Why must people be so stupid? I insist you kill all stupid people
this instant, bitch. - Fido Dido
all people must be stupid because they are people and people are
isn't working right and I'm rather sad about it. Where will I
put all my random thoughts now? McDiablo
carve them into stone tablets... they last for years
was invited to a "Christmas Festivity" by the people
who pluck her eyebrows. Do you think she should go? McDiablo
the people who WHAT??? what the hell do you mean by that? is that
her fetish? is it an eyebrow plucking party?
Why is it
that everywhere I go, I hear that annoying Celine Dion song ...
and my mom starts to sing along with it? McDiablo
celine is haunting me too... i say we find her and crush her throat
I say to people who try to correct my vocabulary? McDiablo
you say nothing... you just scream... kick... yell... shake...
my mom has
been printing things off for the last 30mins.. and it just keeps
going.. what's going on? - Miss Roger's Sweater
she likes it.. and is planning on making a 'family newsletter'
each day for your whole family
why do i
go to the library so much? - Miss Roger's Sweater
the books! they're everywhere! how can you NOT go?!
do you partake
in 'quiet fascination'? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but quite often it gets out of control and a riot breaks out
my spleen for sale..for FREE you want it?~SG*
sure ... send it
am I talking
with a male or female? does any one give **&#@?
well if you're talking to yourself then you should really check
the frontal region of your pants... once you've identified yourself
as male or female, then perhaps you can truly know yourself
I buy a boquet of dead babies?--Syko Morgana
fresh or dried?
I born without a stomach, left eye, right foot, or vagina?--Syko
i blame poor hygene and lack of the color pink during your conception
I try so
very hard, to no avail... I fish every hour I'm awake, and yet
I cannot hook Mr. Bluegill. Perhaps I am using the wrong bait?
i say you leave the fish alone or his cousin the magic fish will
kick your ass
secret to getting people to participate and fill out the forms
on a website? - Mzebonga
cheap booze... comfy seating and bad conversation
I've given this some thought. Why can't people tell if they're
dating a transexual? I mean if ur out clubbin and u see a girl
wit tight short shorts, wouldnt the be a large akward lump that
stands out in the middle of her shorts?
i honestly have no idea... perhaps there is a way of hiding it?
you should ask a transexual and perhaps they'd know
Why do old
people hate young people so much? I mean all I do is say 'hi'
and they look @ me like I shot thier damn cousin or somethin...
maybe you should brush your teeth more... old people can still
smell bad breath
fuckin a girl in her ass... wouldnt there be a large stinking
heap of shit on your dick?
not if she cleaned it all out... or is a real doll
i work at
a 7-11, answer me this, did you piss in the slurpee machine?-
yes but just the mountian dew
I just watched
'Band of Brothers' with my dad and brother and they liberated
a concentration camp. I'm all sad now ... why did I put myself
through that? McDiablo
to remind yourself how shitty things can get when people don't
see each other as humans anymore... people treat each other like
objects every day and that was one extreme of it
I am not tired? McDiablo
its the constant slurpees
just carry a heater around all the time so I'm never cold ...
i say just continue with the 'layered' approach until you can
just roll around town
to Its all a Dream and you are figments of my imagination. So
in my dream, you keep asking for stuff. But you never get stuff.
I have the solution. I will dream that tomorrow you will ask me
to dream that people send you stuff. If you ask nicely. It may
happen. How is that (Nameless)
ok try it... and dream that they send me money too... and cool
dvds... and books...
If I paid
you 5 bananna's would you do the great Potatoe dance for me?please?
no... unless they're ripe
Not a Candy
kind of monkey???? What kind of monkey are you? - Mzebonga
i'm a 'give me free stuff' kinda monkey... have i mentioned this
yet? no i didn't think so... but you don't have to send me stuff,
just everyone else...
monkeys regularly disappear from washing machines if two or more
are in there at one time?
yes... but let's not talk about that right now...
My mom calls
my dad a 'big dummy' in a joke-like manner. Do you think he ever
takes offense? McDiablo
well if he does then he would have said something...
If you were
told that in 24 hours you were going to die, what would you do?
Go skydiving? Steal a grape from Safeway? McDiablo
i'd get so drunk and stoned i'd die laughing
I had a
dream that some guy was going to offer my friends and I some chocolate
chip cookies for breakfast. He then noted that they are not a
good thing for one to have for breakfast. Even in my dream I knew
I was going to take the cookies. Should I just ignore the fact
that cookies aren't the best thing in the morning or should I
take the dude in my dream seriously? McDiablo
i say eat the cookie... breakfast is important and it's not good
to skip it
my questions longer at 9:06am? McDiablo
they aren't.. they just look that way...
my tundra tunnel and then we'll eat some pie?
what kind of pie?
you do when another sock monkey trys to say he's you because most
of you guys all look alike?
i kick his sorry sock monkey ass
you do when you run down to the computer store and your trying
to find a fucking USB or UBS cable cuz the fuckin piece of shit
digital camera didnt come with the proper one and then some chickens
start chasing you calling you the "crab patty bank man"
and then they rip off your pants and let everyone see your wearing
your over-sized walmart panties that had stains on it and then
jesus comes and spanks you and tell you to get your butt to church
and when you dont go it starts raining lizard tounges, like the
long ones that stick out real fast cept these ones dont have mouths
to go in and out of real fast, they are just tounges falling down
to the ground, and then your wind sheild wiper gets tounges all
clogged in it and what is 5+19?
next time you whip them with your belt and make sure you always
have extra USB cables
I like you
DC. Now what are you going to do about it?
i'm going to have you spank me and send me stuff
if i invited
you to come to my place and smoke a fatty with me would you?
not if i have to bring chips... the bags are all loud and crinkly
do you canadians say "about" all weird and shit. huh?
as a resident of canada, i can honestly say i have never heard
anyone say 'aboot' seriously...
this has been getting on my nerves lately. why do celebrities
get married?? I mean, do they honestly think they aren't going
to get a divorce in a few months anyway? When ever in the history
of those dumb fuck celebrities have you ever seen a couple stay
together? can i just hurry up and shoot them already?--Syko Morgana
they are dumb, they want publicity, dumb people buy into it, dumb
people feel like they have something to talk about
stay on walls if I stuck it up there?
only if it's fresh moist poop
stay on walls if I placed them up there without adhesives? cuz
one time i heard them saying they were gonna someday show the
humans that they can stick to the walls so i was just curious.--Syko
you just wait until they decide to show you how to do it... don't
stones can break your bones, but why is the dictionary at the
side of the road missing several words, such as "insulation"
they were just testing you... and you know who they are
can be bribed to let you break any of these rules if you give
me any or all of the following: great amounts of money, mr bungle
/ faith no more items, leaf tickets, dvds, playstation 2 with
grand theft auto 3" - Shouldn't it be 4?
i'll take both thanks
why is my
car being sucky? and squealing and having to go to the mechanics?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
it's acting out it's frustrations with the world
i know it's
not quite winter yet but can i officially declare it appropriate
to wear my 'miss roger's sweater' now? - Miss Roger's Sweater
why yes! break it out and strut!
cheese.. pure brilliance? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes but simpsons pasta shapes are way better
do you have
a friend named Ming Tran? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not that i'm aware of...
rather have 10 children, or have a metal rod permanently planted
up your ass? And with holes purposly cut in your pants for the
rod. either way they would be in a pain the ass...except the children
go away in 18 years..im just trying to get you to say youd have
children. say it. say it.
metal rod ... and how do you know i don't like that sort of thing?
yea that's right
like peoples computers only crash when they're having a chat with
me. This is just because they don't want to talk to me, isnt it?
yes it is actually... they hate you and use this excuse because
it is easy to get away with... they would rather turn off their
computers then talk to you... in order to stop this, you should
start reading about various topics such as health, science, cars
and music... that way you might have something more interesting
to say... if that doesn't work then start your own religion and
force them to chat
they're making us calculate genetic ratios and crap. I will never
have to use this stuff as I plan to travel the world living under
highway overpasses eating beans out of a can with other homeless
persons. Should I make an honest effort to infect the teacher
with anthrax? Do you recommend anthrax or rabies? Or should I
just lock her in a small room with britney spears music nonstop?
well it's not the teachers fault that it has to be taught... so
i say you just stop attending your classes, or hire a stunt double
to attend instead
If i got
alot of toilet paper, and glued it from my arms to my chest forming
large wings. Then jumped off a building, think i could fly? -
well i assume you did... i see no reason why your plan would fail
... unless you forgot to flap your arms...
is my mom
on crack? shes buying milk at target, and she doesn't put it away
until 3 in the morning. oh yeah she also wants to see the Jackass
movie, and she also watches south park now, what the hell is wrong
with her? -monkie boy
there is nothing wrong with her... i'd be happy you have a cool
mom... and maybe she'll share some of her pot with you
up for 3 days in a row now, and im not on any drugs, (just alot
of alcohol), i just made a video of me puking my guts out, and
then taking a shot of jack daniels, am i clasified as insane as
you guys now? i think i need to go and smoke my beer and drink
my cigarette now -monkie boy
send it to us!!! that
is the sort of quality entertainment we'd like to see
hell does pepsi blue taste like smurf pee?? -monkie boy
maybe it IS smurf pee... did you read the label?
if i send
you a picture of me burning myself at vans warped tour, to try
to get a t-shirt, do you think i can get something?
i think that i'd personally send you something... so make sure
you give your return address
hey i left
some of my clothes at your place last night.. can you give it
back to me?--Syko Morgana
no... i've already pissed on them so they're MINE
Why do people
say "pair of panties", when they are only referring
to one? I mean, do you know anyone that wears more than one piece
of underwear at the same time(besides me and Wynona Ryder)?therefore
there is no pair. Just one single panty.
well english is a stupid language in many ways... it just doesn't
make sense... and slowly things that don't make sense are ok in
society until none of us understands each other but it's ok because
we don't even understand ourselves
thing about panty...Where can I find a panty with alligators eating
out a sock monkey?--syko Morgana
i don't there are any... but you can get markers and draw your
own on some underwear... if not i'll draw on some for you
they play the song you want to hear on the radio? This has been
happening to my sister lately and she's getting rather annoyed...McDiablo
the radio SUCKS and until someone pays jcp and i to have our own
radio show or something then the world will be without good music
on the radio... unless you find a cool local station run by some
freaks late at night
Mickey Mouse's voice is so high-pitched? McDiablo
he is not a mouse but a mutated kangaroo
am I going to phuck up my Psychology midterm? McDiablo
a whole lot that you yourself will become a textbook example of
a student under stress
is working again. Should I do a little jig? McDiablo
yes and make sure to bang a few tupperwear bowls while jigging
your real haircolor?
everything you see is natural...
do some kinky stuff? ---DisAsTeR_cHiLd
ok but you have to pay me this time
Am i a psyco?-P_ChiLd
no you're not but nice try
the names of Santas reindeer
the real names? well i can't tell you that... and santa doesn't
own them because there is no santa
stores already putting out christmas stuff? have they no sense
of time? do
you like christmas? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they are trying to make you feel like you need to buy stupid shit...
and i do not like xmas except for the few days off i get from
from across the street just got msn.. how come i talk to him more
now than i did before he got msn.. he's only across the street!
- Miss Roger's Sweater
the internet brings people together... but for real its because
you know you can stop the conversation as soon as it gets boring...
you just say 'gotta go' and put them on invisible
why is my
mom watching martha stewart? - Miss Roger's Sweater
she is trying to creep you out
If you had
to choose only five words that you were able to use for the rest
of your life, what would they be?--Enfante Terrible
fuck, freak, no, yes, specifically
energy is stored in the sun what is solar energy how do you use
a whole lot, energy from the sun, and i use it to warm my apartment,
warm myself and to make my plants grow
you more of a tampon, Jennifer Love Hewitt or Jennifer Aniston?
you more of a bedpan, George Clooney or Cher? Why? --Enfante Terrible
neither actually... but if forced to choose i'd choose clooney
Why am I
never satisfied with my life? Never happy! (Omuletzu)
well thats an ok thing... it may prompt you to do something you
enjoy instead of whatever you're doing now...
things happened since yesterday? (Omuletzu)
not really no... unless you count that whole roswell thing
Every day they mind their own business, work, eat, sleep, steal,
cheat, kill, betray, deceive, kiss ass, hide what they think or
feel, THEY NEVER SAY WHAT THEY THINK! (we, that is, cause we all
suck) And they're all the best, always better than you in everything,
they're always right and always find excuses when you prove they
were wrong. They all want more money even if they don't deserve
(the people who build poor quality items and raise the prices
when the holidays come, instead of lowering them). And who do
they think they are, God, when they try to convince you that what
they like is better that what you like. Blue is more beautiful
than green, they say and that chick is ugly! Maybe I like green
and I love that chick, so she's not at all ugly for me! But noooo,
keep fucking my brains that she's ugly! Well, you're stupid! And
I can prove it! I know I suck too, in many ways, but do you think
I could find a way to suck less? I want to change myself.(Omuletzu)
well just because you change doesn't mean that what came before
sucked... so i say you send me all your possesions and then travel
the world to discover all the stuff you didn't know before...
make sure you take a journal to keep track of all the new info,
and draw pictures when you can
- "I'm Better Then You" leads to "SAnimal's "I'm
Better Than All Of You" Section". Then or than? (Omuletzu)
sanimal is a dumbass
so i went
to buy some coffee today and the snobby girl at the counter treated
me like I was a total idiot. She treated me like a fool, because
I asked for her to explain to me what some of the drinks were,
because I didnt know. Like everyone is born knowing what "iced
chai" is? What the hell ever. SHE'S the franchised coffee
vendor, so who the hell does she think she is treating me like
that? Why doesnt she just go shove that hot coffee up her ass
and go get a job where being a total snob is ok?--Syko Morgana
she is a dumbass and i wouldn't go back there... there is only
one word for coffee and its COFFEE... i'd go into it but denis
leary does it so much better then i can
i have missed the october 'what ifs'? what the fuck is wrong with
me? - SiNiSTaR
i blame the bad jellybean you ate
please, is this really happening to me? - SiNiSTaR
well yes but i won't tell you... that way you can live in denial
follow this... Cat's always land on their feet... and Toast always
lands butter side up (or so that's the way it's known)... so if
we strapped Toast upside down to the backs of cats and dropped
them wouldn't they spin over and over again causing a hovering
sensation?? And with this hovering technology we could build bridges
and everything... A new wave of science...
well it's about time one of you humans figured out how the ufos
work... all this going on about 'gravity' and such nonsense has
been making me ill... bravo for you... i'm glad someone finally
Why is it
that every time a policeman directs the traffic in an intersection,
everything's stuck? (Omuletzu)
i blame the shiny shoes
dare touch my uncles (Mr. Bluegill) you sick homicidal freak!!!!
He never did anything to you, and you want to stick a huge fucking
hook through his head, pull him out of his home and leave him
to choke to death on the bank!!! What kind of fucked up bastard
are you?!?! If you do anything to him, you will find that the
fish gods shall haunt you, and I shall use my magical powers to
hunt you down and show you what it feels like to be jabbed through
the head with a sharp barbed hook, dragged around by that hook
for 10 minutes and finally choked to death. Leave us fish the
fuck alone, or you'll regret it. We control far more than you
think. Sick fucking freak. Shit . . . . *swims off muttering curses
on stupid dipshit murderous rednecks who have nothing better to
do than kill something* - Fish
you're at the wrong q&a... i'm a vegetarian and i don't fish...
so go rant at sanimal or something
dude i love
you man, you're fucking awesome. okay, now for the question. Would
you put a needle in a gummy bear and give it a little kid?--Pokey
depends on who the kid is... but i'd probably give it to the parents
life exspectancy of a sock monkey?--Pokey
well quite long actually... unless there are barn fires involved
Do you believe
in time travel?
yes but not in a way that humans would understand
is, “how do you keep a moron in suspense?”
my parents go? They just sort of left without telling me where
they headed off to. McDiablo
they went off to buy you lots of shiny things, dvds and cds you'd
like, new pillows for your bed, kitkat bars, your own slurpee
machine, some gum and colored paper
civic elections on Saturday. Should I exercise my right and vote?
Wait....I am not registered. Should I register and THEN exercise
my right? McDiablo
yes... and wonder why there isn't an option for 'none of the above'...
of the release of the newest Harry Potter film, I have contemplated
walking around all day talking in an English accent and pretending
to hex people. Should I go through with my plans? McDiablo
yes... but don't pretend to hex them... go the whole way and actually
Barq's root beer hasn't been on tap at 7 Eleven in so long? McDiablo
they think it doesn't sell as well... if you ask for it every
day then maybe they will
Why do people
with bad breath always want to tell you secrets? i got that from
the comedian Dane Cook by the way. He is a funny ass mother fucker,
ever heard his shit? Go download some of it, Ill send you money
for real this time..--Syko Morgana
send me the money and then i'll go listen... i haven't heard of
if i was
sane would i fuck it up all over again?
yes but in a totally different way
"HAM"burgers made of beef?
english doesn't always make a whole lot of sense
I wish to
beat you with sticks may i please ?
If i sent
you money how would i benifit from it ? Is it really worth it
? If it iz then i will send you large amounts of mo nae
you would feel good about giving me the money... and i would send
you something back as a thank you for the money
If you dont
like me how come i sent you my bra ?
cuz you are like that... and thank you
i can make
you tickets made out of leafs. Can i break the rules yet ?
close... but no.. and i'm going to change that soon because there
is nothing worth going there to see at the moment until they get
their shit together
If i go
to a super market at 8 am and the potatoe chips arent soggy will
i be able to save the magical bananas from their plotted demise
yes... but only the bbq chips can help you
you have a canoe i could barrow please ?
no i don't actually
Dc, Today was a good day to use my new hammer. Not only did I
nail more boards to the window, but a servey man came to my door.
He asked how i felt about trees. He didn't ask very good questions,
so i took him into a room. It was a nice room ! I let him think
of new abd better questions to ask. The hammer helped him think.
He still doesn't know what else to ask me but im out of nails.
Should i try a lighter this time ? SINcerly, 'Nny
well i'd try a combination of the hammer and the lighter... by
using both, you ensure a good level of pain to stimulate his mind
We all know
Thomas Jefferson for his usefull discoverys and creations, but
none but i know of his saucy journal of sex tips. Would you like
me to send it to you ?
you're assuming i don't already have them framed above my bed
i was walking down the street. I bought a tub of sauce. I was
so excited about my sauce that i ran home. On the way there a
stupid nutless shit bag come by and bumps into me and jars my
tun of sauce onto the floor. Then i shot him. THE END. Was this
the right thing to do ?----> Nny'
yes but next time walk home... and obey the street signs... and
if you wear shoes then the whole experience is that much less
bloody for you
days till' i get my new switch blade ? I ned it Bad!
no you don't... you just want it to show your friends and try
to trick them into thinking you're 'hardcore' when in fact you
are not... just accept it and send the blade back
Do you belive
in love at first sight ? If you dont then do you belive that everyonbes
a useless shit bag that was meant to come here,mate,kill,feed
and repeat the process untill our offspring makes another dumbass
shitless fucker of a son to do the same thing ?
no not really... and everyone is a useless shit bag but not here
to do the rest of that shit...
difference between the scum you find in your garbage can after
you left 10 lbs. of moldy limburg cheese inside of and left for
a six month vacation stuffed into a decapetated rat and rolled
into a fried peice of shit and people ?---> Nny'
people walk around and talk to each other producing more shit...
the other stuff just rots away
the difference between a ignorant semi-human and a sheep that
follows an ignorant semi-human ?
the sheep should know better
pillows so fluffy ? Is it because it is full of shit ? --->
no... they are filled with human hair
my is Mr.Fuck (Mr.Eff for short) ! Would you like me to strangle
anyone today? Or would you like me to carry out your landlords
garbage ? I have semi automatic uhh uhh "Rabbits" For
sale just tell me if you want someone dead err i mean uhh nm tell
me if you want someones head. ---> Mr.Eff
i would like you to hurt everyone... i don't care how
like a hobbit cool?-toothcake
sure why not?
give me some articals about the Pacific Ocean
um no... but here is some info on it... it's big... kinda watery
and sloshes about
Why do dumbass
Yanks have 'bathrooms' when they usually don't have a bath in
them? And why don't their hamburgers have any ham in them? And
why is American 'football' so-called when it involves mainly the
use of the hands? Dumbasses. BARCLAY
humans are dumbasses no matter where they are on the planet
consider secretly wiping a booger on somebody you hate, like an
evil boss, or are you too good for that? --Enfante Terrible?
consider? i've done it
There's a nail
in my wall. I took the picture down. I don't want any pictures
on that wall anymore. But the nail is still there. What to do
with this nail...?FartMonkey
leave it there as an anti-room statement or rip it out
fart on cue? FartMonkey
no i can't
wondering if it would be ok for me to send you great amounts of
money, dvds, and playstation 2, possibly with grand theft auto
hm... yes it would
you think of that nun who always wears the shades? FartMonkey
she's damn cool
some fat kids who come to yell at me every day. They say that
cheese is bad. But I don't think so. I love cheese. Cheese is
my friend. I wanted to go out and mash in their teeth. I decided
to ask your permission first.So is it OK? FartMonkey
no! thats what they want you to do! they have been banned from
cheese and they have decided to make you jam it into their faces
so they can't get blamed for eating it ... throw salad at them
you could make Britney Spears grow a moustache? FartMonkey
then i'd be able to make her have a mustache... and i would
many decades can bobby take baths with porcupines and never learn
where they keep the marmelade? -Samuel
the kittens take my sister over the rainbow?
only girls with the funky curls can go there
ever been beaten with a candle made of opium?
i think so but i might be mistaken
times can a small bat steal my overalls?
many times... you just don't learn
measure their dicks do they do it from the side or the top? cuz
from the top im 6.6in but from the side im 7.3in
i'm not sure... perhaps you should ask a random stranger on the
hell has time to make grilled cheese anymore ... all those dame
trolls selling it and packing it into loaves ...?
i don't like grilled cheese unless its real cheese being used
and not those orange slices of plastic
running my phone all the time? .. cause i cought a few people
trying to shut me the fuck down yesterday .. and i just wanted
well the cartoon music has indicated that the end of the song
will soon arrive and then all will good again
the worlds supply of fresh newts? ... i thought it was me but
then they killed my uncle and stuffed him in my trunk .... who
would do these sort of things?
it's not me and that's all i truly need to know until someone
asks me 'what do you do for a living' and i panic and respond
'i control the worlds supply of fresh newts'
been enough god damn footprints yet?
need more on the moon... i should be able to have nasa take one
of my boots up there and put an imprint on the moon... then bring
my boots back
fuck says im not the chief here?
me and that can without the label
have zamboni races anywhere?
if they did then i'd like to know so i can buy season tickets
i at this site?
to learn the proper spelling of WHY
told me this story....she wasnt as graceful as the deep cavern
suspected....for all alone in the carpet of the sun Alexandra
sold kittens for 50 cents a honk..what does it all mean?
it means you're standing on the tube bringing her oxygen
yesterday i woke up to find that some fucker had eaten the last
of my hats... so now i have to do something about it like shoot
his kids or burn his house to the ground ... any suggestions?
i'd suggest the ever popular 'piss in his mouthwash' method...
now contrary to what you may have heard about this on the playground,
there are no oranges involved in this process
Is the county
number 3465 or 3456? or are those people just too damn afraid
to answer any more of my questions about the public safety in
zoos these days? Someone could seriously run off with an ape or
i don't know... and the ape seems happy living here
find a dollar inside a hobo's hat .. or would i have to kill the
leave the hobo alone... get your own hat
i have never
heard of canada and i thought canadians were a myth, thank you
DC you have taught me a new thing i am forever in debt. Oh...uhmmm
my question....do you like that new nirvana song?
you're welcome and i wasn't aware of a new nirvana song
how do you
feel about Metallica?
i feel that they died after master of puppets
do you stick
your finger in your ass?
i get lied to about god and jesus only to find out its a load
of shit and life sucks!?!? -Samy P
same reason you were told about santa
give me two reasons why I shouldn't go break that girls legs?
well to begin with, she'd kick your ass, and most importantly,
it's just not nice
I prevent grass from growing on my elbows when there is only two
bowls of cereal on the table?
suck, but every once in a while there is a funny one out there.
Do you have a favorite commercial?
i don't watch commercials really... and i like that VW commercial
with the guy blasting 'mr roboto'
Gauge fucking hot?!?! the porn star..hey, are there any porn star
sock monkeys? i bet you're one..
who? and hell ya ... i am one...
man in my head tells me that there are people spying on my thoughts.
Is he right, and if so, who/where are these people? Or is the
little man [who also happens to like toast - just thought you'd
like to know] lying to me? Oh why does he always lie to me? I
havta go eat some toast now.. - Fido Dido
yes there are... and i can't tell you who they are or it spoils
the whole thing... and DAMN that chicken soup smell is just rancid...
but i can't stop breathing it in just to feel offended by it
literature teacher always sets this timer for EVERYTHING. "Okay,
class, you have ten minutes to do this group work" and then
he sets the timer. Must he do this? Should the students rebel
against him and break it? The only thing that is funny about it
is when it beeps, Miss Roger's Sweater says, "The cake is
he just wants to feel cool and special about his watch... you
should get one too and see how accurate they are
friend ever complete her ten page essay? McDiablo
yes but the last two pages will be written using her drool
Do you like
washing the dishes? I find this to be the most disgusting chore
no i had to do it last night and it sucked... if i had a replicator
i could just recycle it
the Barq's root beer shortage strikes again! Last night at 7 Eleven,
there were no bottles of the stuff ... only Barq's Cream Soda.
What's going on here?? McDiablo
i say you force your parents and miss rogers sweaters parents
to move to a location where barqs is plentiful and jocks are not
a lot of people living three inches below my front yard? casue
if there are im afraid ... what should i do about it?
there are only a few that are just visiting there... so sell them
a few 'you were here' postcards and make some money
Yeah ... so yesterday
i was takeing out the trash ... and this guy tried to sell me
some empty cans of lead.... so i told him to get his own ....
was this a good response? -B@tch
yes... but if he asks you again you run into your garage, grab
your bike and then chase him around with your bike as you scream
'polio!' .... when he finally collapses in fear and confusion,
pop a wheelie and scream 'ye-haw!' then throw clumps of jello
at him (pre-make these)
On my way
to Europe last year i tripped and fell all the way down... when
i got up i though of moving to china quickly .. but then came
to my senses..... He told me i had wittnessed the finest of all
goats and to never wash my hair again .. should i obay? -B@tch
not unless he stamped your hand
DO i get
paid for my leeching of jam out of the old folks home? cause if
i do .. then i want it by wednesday or not at all -B@tch
you're sure thats jam?
you do if you checked the mail and you found a postcard with a
cow holding a pitchfork with a spleen on it?On a Sunday((no mail
on sundays))?And its from Outer Space?-Skittles
i'd laugh... and then i'd be pissed that i couldn't be out in
a very serious question....if a turtle doesnt have a shell...is
it nakey or homeless? should I give it clothes or build it a house?
my thongs glow in the dark is that normal?--monkeeskittles
well first of all don't stare... they hate that... you go out
and find them a new shell, but not some dirty shell you picked
up off the street... make sure you talk to the turtle to determine
what kind of shell it would like and how heavy/big it should be...
then go find at least 3 shells for the turtle to pick from
Why is AMERICA
online not contained in the U.S.
things from america tend to do that sorta thing...
talk about how much "Pissmas" sucks, but I bet when
people give you presents you glady except them, huh? Don't lie.
What kind of scam are you running here, huh? Freak...-Pokey
i accept them but not gladly... i know the presents will be crap
and that i have to smile and say thanks anyways just so things
don't get shittier
person who i know who is a total mook is spreading rumours about
me and telling people im a slag when its not really true. im getting
hugely angry and may crack and end up murdering her and getting
in big stinky trouble. what can i do mr wise and all knowing dc
well first of all you stop giving a shit, and second of all, since
you are clearly in highschool, you do some homework instead of
thinking about shit like that... those people will all be dead
one day and will you too, so who cares what they think
I read an article that talked about the xbox 2. Short Story -
it's supposed to be for gaming, dvd player, and a TiVo type thing.
My question is, is this just a way to make Bill Gates our new
god? Cause, I don't wanna worship BIll Gates. AnthraXboY
stay away from xbox its another annoying msproduct... go for playstation
i am sick
with a cold right now and the mucus oozing from my nose is very
very yellow. is this normal? i mean it's practically fluorescent...
according to my mom yellow is ok
i have a
zit on my nose and everyone at work now call me Rudolph. Do you
think it is funny, especially since rudolph was an evil sonofabitch?
its kinda funny but then again, people don't really pay that much
attention to each other and if you didn't mention the zit at all,
no one would notice
think people who type things like "y00 R s0 kewl" and
"C U L8er" are stupider than a hat full of assholes?
yes... twelve hats of assholes actually
the 'H' stand for in 'Jesus H. Christ'? - SiNiSTaR
why is my
brother such a retarded dork? - Miss Roger's Sweater
he's your brother and it's his job... and your job is to be his
bossy big sister... or freaky big sister... it depends on the
dreams about school a bad thing? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not really... it's just annoying... especially when you're dreaming
about going back in time and having to explain to the teachers
that you don't know what class you're in because it was so long
ago you don't remember and as if you're going to remember your
locker combination so you have to ask them for help on that one
too and so they go to send you home but you don't remember the
keycode for that house since you moved away years ago
are teething is it normal for them to want to suck on your finger?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
why the hell would i know that?
am i going
to have to pay way too much money for school this semester? -Miss
yes so make sure you take FULL advantage of it... oh and steal
on how to make some quick money to pay for school? - Miss Roger's
becoming a hooker, selling really stupid shit that is hard to
find on ebay, throwing yourself from buildings until you get a
show like cky and jackass
I love you
will you suck my cock now ?
no... if you love ME then you're the one who better start sucking
to prove it
Today i am here to tell you about.... Wait nevermind no i am not
thank you goodbye then, but before i leave Mr.DC what do you have
to say about the world it is today ?
there are a few good parts but the humans are idiots
a sick sadistic child moulester ? Just wana get this one down.In
case any of you are wondering 'NNY is short for jhonny,short for
Jhonen, JTHM, short for Johnny The Hommcidal Maniac but just 'NNY
for short.ANy questions ?--->'NNY
put some NYC sewer rats into my blender and stuffed Raggedy Ann
Dolls with it. I then nailed the dolls to my wall and worshiped
them. After an hour or so later the spooky dolls started to talk
to me. They told me to kill my self and join theyre frowny faced
legion of doom but then my rabbit told me not to do it. I then
nailed him to the wall too. Then he told me to give it a noght
to think it over. What should i do ? Should i kill myself? Why
or Why not? Do you think theyd let me be Chief?
you should let the rabbit down, yes kill yourself because you
are done here on earth... time to go be crazy somewhere else
is NNY' I forgot to post my name on my last question so umm.......
The sppoky rat doll one was mine. umm ok. Oh yeah heres my question
umm hey why dont they have condoms that when you cum, it inflates
a cute little animal ? -->NNy'
i'd be pretty annoyed if they made condoms like that.... a little
cum-filled balloon animal isn't what i want to see after having
I have a
pic of me and my freind doing stupid shit. Some of it ccame from
jackass but its still cool. Will you pay me if i send it to you
? Will you post it on the website ? Hey Why the hell not make
a section for othjer people doing stupid shit ?--->NNY'
no i will not pay you... you should pay ME... and get your own
space for posting your own shit
day i went to wet jimmys stinky fun meats and they told me to
sit down. I was enraged at this behavior so i burned the place
and saved the sock monkeys from the fire. I later bathed them
i n wads of cash. Their names are john foreman and jacob ferg.
are they related to you ? I have pics of them in sexual poses
do you want them ?
yes i want the pictures, but only if they're free... and maybe
they're related i don't know
If you ubdate
your website today i will send you $10.00. so whadya say ?
well it's today so send me money
I am in
desperate need of burning ... CDs that is. When the heck will
I have enough money to buy some blank CDs? McDiablo
steal from that chick you hang around with... you know... the
one with the sweater
is it that I forgot my course registration date and time is next
you need more coffee... or maybe coffee slurpees
we bathe ourselves like cats? I bet saliva cleans our skin better
than water ever will. McDiablo
well we can bathe some parts like cats...
truck is 'innervision'? McDiablo
its that thing you see when you're human and you can't see past
your own forehead... oh no wait... that's religion...
did the Real Barbie Dolls section go?? That was my favorite part
of this site.--Syko Morgana
its in the lists section but i'm nice so here
is the link
they asking how much wood a wood chuck can chuck IF he could chuck
wood, I mean obviously he can chuck wood because he is a wood
chuck, so why are they saying IF I mean you don't say how much
honey can a bee make if a bee could make honey, bees CAN make
honey we all know this. I mean they aren't called honey-makers,
so my point is, why are they calling wood chuckers wood chuckers
if they can't really chuck wood?--Syko Morgana
haha you said WOOD
feel very depressed. i have no one to turn to. my parents hate
me and i cant trust my friends. i feel bored lonely confused frustrated
angry and worthless. what can io do to improve the situation
write stories about killing them all and sell them so you can
i genuinely learn how to not care what other people think
well i'd tell you but then you'd abuse that and turn into one
of those assholes that do shit to others because they don't care
about how they feel anymore
If I put
a clock in the mashed potatoes and then I left it there, would
you a) hurry up and take it out b)leave it there for the lemors,
or c) go make a pie out of urine and whip cream?
b ... the lemons have done so much for me it's the least i can
why do they
even sell diet sodas at fast food restaurants? yea like after
you just shove your face full of greasy french fries and hamburgers,
a diet soda is really going to make a difference...--Syko Morgana
people are stupid... they somehow feel that this is less 'bad'...
the people i truly don't understand are the ones who drink caffeine-free
diet cola... what the hell is the point?
i was looking
at stuff that comes in the box that you send out, and I noticed
a very ugly t-shirt. will that be in every box? I would really
like a very-ugly shirt. I proabaly wont send my money out unless
I can be guarenteed of a very ugly t-shirt. What do you say? I
am willing to pay extra to get a very ugly t-shirt. Have you worn
the shirt? Does it have your pit stains on it? I will pay more
$$$ for size of pit stain. Okay. THe funny thing is you proablay
think Im joking..Im not.
well yes we were planning on having a crappy tshirt in each box...
and the shirt in the picture may still be around... we were also
going to put a really bad cd in each box too... no i haven't worn
the shirt... but you pay me to and i will...
my cat is
begging me for my bagel. He attacked my face and told me if I
didnt give him my blue berry bagel then he'd go and hack into
the insane domain and make bad things happen. Im sad, what will
i do? I cant give him the bagel, because it was given to me by
my great grandma.
give the cat the bagel
happening lately with you? Sally
well some people went away and then they came back but while they
were gone things got busy but it's ok now but i'm hungry so now
i have to make food...
dc answer me this would you kill someone if they pissed you off
enough by asking you shitty questions?
not unless they paid me too... or lived nearby
americans don't know when thanksgiving is? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they do... they don't know when the canadian one is... they had
people come over and slaughter thousands at a different time then
am i the
only person with a window in my shower? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no... and your neighbor thanks whoever installed it
it take so long for a candle to burn? - Miss Roger's Sweater
that's its job and you should thank it
kill people or is that just a thing to scare a person
well if you suck hard enough then it can get dangerous... so if
you suck a lot then i'd be scared
ever been in love?
yes... it hurt and now it's over
Why do comet's
tails face away from the sun? Do sock monkeys' tails face away
from the sun?
well as they approach the sun the solar winds become stronger
forcing bits to fly off behind it ... at least thats what i think
I am really
pissed off at my friend. Former friend that is. What should I
send him in the mail? FartMonkey
hair... pubic hair... cat hair... dog hair... human hair
ever actually sent you guys money? FartMonkey
one person but i think it was by accident... but you have no way
of proving otherwise
if I drink a whole bottle of sunblock lotion? FartMonkey
well i'd assume that your insides would become stronger then the
effects of the suns rays... you could then fly around the universe
with your new-found powers and fight the evil bunnies with the
Has a tall
skinny unshaven man been standing outside your door with a gun
demanding celery? If the answer is yes, I would like him returned
ASAP...If a bargain is necessary I am willing to give you a crate
of canned goods featuring ugly people on the labels. FartMonkey
not lately... if i see them then i will be sure to send him your
you want for this piano? FartMonkey
some clay... maybe some paper
it's dead now. Do you think so? FartMonkey
the only you can know for sure is to bite it
I have to shave EVERY CURSED DAY and it still looks like I haven't??
the universe hates you and this is just one one of it's ways of
reminding you how shitty it is to be human
know that the Ancient Medians had the coolest system for making
a law? They would make the law when sober, and then get pissed
and see if it still sounded good. If it did, they kept it. If
it didn't, they made up a new one while pissed. They came up with
some kooky laws. - Fish
ancient medians? you mean all modern governments right?
to set the record straight, I was not talking to you, DC, when
I was raving about my dear uncle MR. Bluegill, but the heinous,
atavistic, apocalyptically stupid, ugly and evil shit who said
he was trying to catch him about 6 days ago. I apologise for any
inconvenience. Methinks you will help me claim revenge on this
sick human being? - Fish
well i suppose i can concentrate on one human for awhile... i
say you send him mismatched plates until he goes mad and smashes
them all and then cries
believe that my retarded brother is actually two years older than
me? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i think your parents are lying just to try to make him feel a
bit better about himself
for my msn
nickname tomorrow should i use "the one iwth the sweater"?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
i say you use "SweaterSlurpy"
I have been
ranting a lot lately. Is this healthy or am I annoying people?
who cares what those people think?
Why is it
that items for Christmas are starting to be sold in certain stores
in AUGUST of all months? McDiablo
they have nothing better to do and want to make you vomit
do a worksheet on biofeedback, cuz i don't like them - Miss Roger's
no unless you paid me great amounts of money and a ship made of
do you know
that your answers to questions make McDiablo and I giggle? - Miss
giggle enough to wet your pants? maybe even just a little???
keeps telling me that I should watch/rent the move "Billy
Madison". I've only seen half of it. Should I watch the whole
thing to get these people to shut up? McDiablo
have them pay for the movie if they want you to see it so much...
freaky old lady at 7-eleven have it out for me? she always gives
me dirty looks.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
she's just jealous... we all know that... just tell her "quit
the mind-games you old bag, it's not my fault jfk got shot"
If you stabbed
a smurf with a pitchfork covered in the jaundice virus and he
caught the virus, would he turn green? - Fish
only under the arms
help me spank the legions of sleeping canteloupes that populate
the mediocrity of this forsaken land? If I found you (and the
rest of The InsaneDomain brass) a gig, housed you, fed you vegetarian
food and kept you stoned during your stay, would you consider
making the three or four hour drive to my city to perform some
insanity for us? We really need it. I'm thinking spring or early
summer. I have some decent contacts and I used to perform a lot
but, I've been hiding for a couple of years, occassionally hinting
at return to keep my contacts while scheming about what would
really make it worth getting sucked back into the social obligations
that come with it all. I would love to do a show with you and
Dick Acidsoxx on the bill. Check out dick at acidsoxx.com. They
sent me two of their cds free for my birthday and I know if I
could get them I could get one of the local college stations to
help out because that's where I found dick and I used to be in
a band with with one of the djs. I'm mailing you gifts tomorrow
before noon and I plan on paying extra to make sure you get it
because last time I tried to send you money it came back to me.
I don't use credit cards. You're brilliant and I curse the unspeakable
amount of money I've squandered on mental health care that I should
have sent to you.You deserve to be paid.This is my idea of a "love"
letter in the least romantic sense of the word. This is Pure Science.
No hearts and flowers here. Just baking soda and vinegar. Can
you hear the wheezing crackle of life convulsing into the beast?
So many rotten potatoes, rubberbands and pennies brought to life
in our image... the hideous brainchild feasting at The Mother
Board... Enfante Terrible
i haven't even had my coffee yet... and that was a lot of words...
where am i going? i'm not going anywhere with the rest of these
freaks... i'll send jcp to perform for you... chicks end up getting
more money anyways... hey did you say i was getting stuff in the
mail??? that'd rock... unless it's more subscriptions to stupid
magazines that i find hard to believe anyone would ever read...
are my gifts cds? free cds are always good... damn i need my coffee...
where is a personal assistant when you need one??
understand why someone would always leave his computer showing
the "It is now safe to turn off your computer." thingie
when he goes home from work! Why not turn it all the way off?
they are stupid and lazy... or just want to get the hell away
so leave before that screen comes up
you do if you saw a pool of blood on the sidewalk
roll around in it while giggling... that's right GIGGLING
why do giraffes
same reason geese do
is it?--PhYcO cHiLd
guy named John London who lives in my tree he's going to assinate
Rusty what should I do?
find david bowie, explain the situation to him, once he gives
you directions, go to the location he tells you and do what he
says... then everything will be ok...
why do people
refer to getting beat up as, "getting their ass handed to
i have never heard this term used so i'm going to have to assume
that you are lying to me... i'm not sure why you would do this...
maybe you have some issues like the rest of us where you make
things up due to bordem and then forget what is real but hey it
keeps us on our toes doesn't it?
noodles everywhere. what shall we do with them all?
fling them off the surface of the planet... then create a ring
of bodies out there in space... if they ever fall back to the
planet it will be a good scare
you do for a klondike bar?-syko morgana
i've been thinking about that and i would be willing to put forth
enough effort to unwrap the bar to get one... anything beyond
that is too much work and can't someone else do it for me?
so i go
against my own will and i watch that pathetic lump of human waste
Oprah and she has on there obese teens, who cry and eat and feel
sorry for them selves. Do you think obeseity is the parents fault(as
one of Oprah's stupid shrinks say) and a result of depression
and not getting enough attention,or do you think that those kids
are just fat lazy ass pigs who like to eat at McDonalds too much?--syko
i think it depends on the person as each person has their own
issues... generalizations suck... get it? yea i need my coffee
still... and don't watch her anymore... she sucks
question you've always been waiting to be asked... hope you understand
what I want. (Omuletzu)
my answer is 'being dead.'
(name's translated) just came to ask us if anyone of us is messing
with the Oracle server, cause she got an error on the screen...
and... What's up with that? (Omuletzu)
tell mrs sun to shut up or you'll kick her ass into the shredder
I have to
build a computer from scratch and I need and expert's advice.
What to buy and when to buy? You know, to get the most from the
money (don't have too much money). Why won't anyone give me money?
Oh, wait, they are giving me money... Anyway, computer? (Omuletzu)
well that depends on what you want to do and how well you know
computers... if you're building it yourself or having someone
else do it... how much money you have to spend... so answer those
questions... give me your credit card and i'll go buy the stuff
you need, put it together for you and mail it out you... and if
you want xp you can just install it yourself as i will have no
part in that...
If you are
almighty, as it's written above the pathetic question field, why
do you still want our almighty dollar? (Omuletzu)
i like almighty things
JCP stand for? (Omuletzu)
her initials of her name... she's not cool enough to have a real
with mothers and homework?......i havint dona a stich of homework
and i failed the 2 most subjects that i studied for and the res
are a's and b's
it's their job... didn't you get the child/parent handbook?
FAQ know that if you spell it like this : FA-Q, it says Fuck You?
did you know that people have too much time to waste on that sort
of shit and it is this very sort of spelling annoyances that encourages
those idiots to use words such as 'wazup, yo', y r u, and pleze'
be enough seats so I can get the classes I want? McDiablo
not in all the classes
Do you object
to my tie-belt? Who the hell invented manties? McDiablo
what the hell are you talking about??? have you had too much sugar
a lil' voice who lives in my head, and he keeps using all my kleenex,and
i keep telling him to replace them but he refuses and he has a
bad mother fucking mouth whhhhhhatttttttsssssss uppppppppp with
well you know how some people can be... and this is just one of
those things you learn to deal with until you find yourself trying
to dig holes in concrete with plastic straws just to prove to
the voices that there is no candy buried there
temporary insanity in court once but the oddest thing happened
they didnt believe the temerary part Why??--kleenex girl
i had the very same problem... apparently it was solved with those
pills i flushed
Why do you
love me? why do you love Rusty? Why do you love Sean? What
is Rusty wearing? Why cant Sean win at pinball?
once there was this duck that flew over to this place where all
the trees had fallen down and his name was plaitus and he liked
his name but wasn't sure how he knew it was his name since no
one had ever told him that it was it was his name he just knew
it was... the end
cheesecake sound like? kleenex girl
the strawberry sounds like violins, the raspberry is just loud
and the chocolate emits high-pitched noises that make my ears
time i get to how long, how long has it been? Kleenex girl
about that long
Letterman taste like? I know Conan tastes rreaaaaaaaalllllllll
good. why does Lenno has a big chin?
if you think conan tastes good then i think you'll love how letterman
Why do PpL
have to go to the batroom?
batrooms? i haven't seen many of those and last time i did there
was a sign saying we weren't allowed to go in because they were
endangered but the sign looked like it had been written by bats
so it was probably just them trying to sleep off their hangovers
I met a
duck in a bowling alley once he has really big feet and he just
started talking to me and he tought me all these new things I
could do and then one day I got into trouble with the law and
the duck ended up being the warden cool eh?
yea... was it plaitus?
I heard a little bit of crying and whimpering coming from the
corner of my living room. It was coming from inside the wall.
I busted the wall open, and I found a little nest of new born
baby sock monkies. I dont know what to feed them, but I stroke
their little tails a lot and they seem to enjoy that. But what
I want to know if you can help me with is how will I take care
of them? Or should I Just hand them over to you wait never mind
you might pawn off the poor little things for money on Ebay...Sick
ass..But really, what do I feed them?-Syko Morgana
stuffing... chips... cheese... oreo cookies... more socks... and
just admit you love my sickass
naming the baby sock monkies. I named one of them DC, in honor
of you. Do you have any other suggestions? My stupid friend says
I should name one AC, for Angel child. God, haha. Isnt that just
plain stupid? Should I shoot her now or just wait? -Syko Morgana
yes... right away... just ask them what names they want or just
make up names that aren't really names at all... they like color
a ceramic biscut?-syko morgana
it's people not getting me coffee like they should
i eat the cake and then go to sleep?
then as long as you brush your teeth there is no problems
is it ok
to count canoes on the ceiling while at a punk show? - Miss Roger's
yes... as long as you don't don't keep losing count and having
to start over
i write about for my long poem for creative writing? - Miss Roger's
write it about people who cry into glasses into they are full
so they can swallow their sorrow
I cramp so?~SG*
that is the universe reminding you it sucks to be human
Do you prefer
tangerines or oranges? FartMonkey
depends on the day really
Do you really
speak French in Canada? Is there any Canada-France rivalry? FartMonkey
some people do... some people don't... many people speak many
different languages here which is interesting... the french here
are not the same as those in france... there is some quebec-english
issues but that's because all people suck
this page is starting to suck everything is really old now and
im sorry dc but if you dont do something it fast, i might have
to injure you badly. how would you like that?
i say go on and spank me big boy
out of dino heads or are you just being stingy? - SiNiSTaR
i'm being stingy and they just don't like you people anymore
anal sex feel like? - SiNiSTaR
to some they like it... to others they don't... the only way to
know for sure is to try... shall i expect you later tonight?
told me that lepers don't have to buy bags of chips cause they
can eat the flakes that fall off their skin, do you think that's
funny, gross or just plain mean? - SiNiSTaR
well if a leper came to buy chips from me i'd just give it to
them so at that point i guess if they could have either items
that it would be a matter of taste for the leper... and if they
ate their skin that would be gross but kind of interesting to
Can i get
a double tall, decaf, low-fat vanilla latte? - SiNiSTaR
a what? have you heard of coffee-flavored coffee? and speaking
of which... i would like to annouce my true hatred for krispie
kreme doughnuts or however it's spelt... i would like all their
stores to burn in sugary flames
rather be dirt poor but happy as a clam or filthy rich and as
miserable as miserable can be? - SINiSTaR
if i were miserable and rich then at least i could do some damage
to others... or maybe make those dirt poor happy people richer
happy people and maybe i wouldn't feel so miserable and i wouldn't
be so rich
think of it, if you're really poor you're DIRT poor, and if you're
really rich you're FILTHY rich. So what are you if you're sorta
like in between? - SiNiSTaR
you're clean and wanting to get filthy or clean and getting dirtier
by the minute
Why do people
think breakfast is the most important meal of the day? I don't
like half of the stuff one serves at breakfast. McDiablo
they try to feed you mush in the mornings... it's just to confuse
you... if you eat something make it something you like...
I just found
out how to take a picture of my desktop....how come I feel more
dorkier with this added knowledge? McDiablo
well you are heading down the trail to geekdom but that's ok...
there is plenty of room here... just stay away from those D&D
people or you'll never see the light of day again
the ringing in my ear go away? McDiablo
not for awhile... i hate when that happens... I SAID I HATE WHEN
you think of that guy that only sweats in the one armpit?
i think he works for the FAA
you feel about having a trading money system where rabbit fetus's
are the currency?
i would not be happy with that... children are sick
god i hate
fucking pregnant chicks who waddle around with their nasty tummys
all blown up and round ithink they should be shot for reproducing
and thinking that their offspring is worthy of anything i really
honestly would like to rip the fetus's out of their stomachs and
make them eat it. am i sick or is this normal?
well you're sick in only blaming the chick... if you're going
to do that to the chick then you better find the guy who did it
and rip out his insides too... they are both to blame
the Great named all of the cities he founded "Alexandria"...
couldn't he think of anything else?
maybe he liked that name... and who are you to question him???
if, what if there is no tomorrow what will you do with today?
and what i should do?
i would get stoned and burn everything i own so no one else can
have it and you should do the same thing
do i need
a slurpee for me to be able to write my poem for class? - Miss
yes but only half of one
my lung hurt? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it has nothing better to do
know it's possible for a baby to sneeze when he has a soother
in his mouth? - Miss Roger's Sweater
enough about the babies... babies suck
I ate a
doughnut today, but my nose was so stuffed up that I could hardly
taste it. How sad is that?? McDiablo
sad and you better not sneeze while you're here... the rest of
us don't want to be infrected
start doing my homework? McDiablo
yes and make sure that after that you clean your room again
working as the good 'ol stocking kid at Purdy's Chocolates in
a few weeks. Would you like me to introduce you to all the boxes?
no... i'm not into chocolate... and those boxes are just rude
laugh too if someone held a toy bunny up to you and flicked it's
ear saying "doot"? -Miss Roger's Sweater
no... not really... i might hurt the person who did that... and
them being in pain would be funny
the one person I do not like in this world keep phoning me? McDiablo
it is to ensure that they stay at the top of your hate list
you bring if you were stuck on an uninhabited island with no fresh
water barley any food and nothing to start a fire with to signal
the search being flown by drunken blind people? the doctor, the
carpenter, or the super model
the doctor... i know how to build things so i don't need a carpenter...
and the super model is useless unless i killed it and ate it for
I have finally
finished my homework. Do you think this will teach me never to
procrastinate again ... or to, uh, not procrastinate this WEEK?
no it won't... you haven't learnt a thing and you know it
told me to lay off Slurpees for the rest of the week. What do
you think of this? McDiablo
i think that they are the people who are hiding your socks and
moving your shoes around when you're not looking
think 'emo' is a funny word? McDiablo
no.. but emu is
put on my sweater and cry? Wait, I am wearing a sweater....should
I just cry then?? McDiablo
cry into your hooded sweater
DC* *petting tail* Do you believe in the little people? I do!
But what EXACTLY are they? ~*~Rach, The Crazy Lil' Pyro
of course or they'd kick my ass and they are little people...
any reasons why I should listen to what you say?
well it's better then listening to the tv
Science SUCKS. Don't you?--Syko morgana
no.. it's better then that bullshit they call religion
do you have
a favorite "munchie" food?
cheese... ? yea i like cheese and crackers
why is my
goddamn moronic boss trying to play matchmaker with every bozo
who wants to fuck me up the ass? I already have a goddamn boyfriend!!!
tell him to knock it off because its sexual harrassment
looking really damn great for the past couple of weeks, i eally
got my money's worth.... my question is how can i maintain it
and make sure it looks this damn great ALL the time? I live in
fear of this great hair spell ending... - SiNiSTaR
what? your hair? it's just hair... shave it all off
spank me and pour flour on me?
yes... just don't ask me about hair
eat bagels with me on a fine winters day while wearing totally
nothing and having a covnersation about celerey?
yes but if i get bored of celery i'm talking about carrots
know celerey has absoultley no nutritional value? I love celerey.
Will you make a section dedicated to celerey like you did with
carrots are orange
voice get back to normal soon so I don't scare the insurance people
who phone me with its gross nasally-ness? McDiablo
no you won't and they like it when you talk to them like that
Did I do
something bad at a young age to be cursed with freezing cold hands
and feet? McDiablo
no you have your parents to blame and the earth for its weather
Hi DC. Another
question on my stray sock monkies I have taken in. How do I bathe
them? Do I just throw them in the wash with the rest of my clothes
or will that kill them?and do i feed them potatoe chips or tortilla
you fill up the tub with about 6 inches of warm to hot water (depending
on how they like it) and you let them play in it... do not leave
them unattended while in the tub...and any chips is ok
If you could
have ANYTHING for a hand,what would it be?-Skittles
threatened to catch Mr. Bluegill, and indeed I've CAUGHT HIM!
My job is complete. My question to you, DC, is - bake or fry?
Is it ok
for guys to wear ties?
if they like to wear nooses then i don't see why they can't
Do you like
system of a down ?
i like a few of their songs
On a fortune
cookie it said that my lucky number was 666. Is there a problem
with that ?
no... why would there be?
know that blink 182 song cocksucker motherfuck ? They took George
Collins words in that. He was listing all the words you can't
say on family t.v. . So that song is Bull shit and not cool. Wouldnt
you agree ?
yes but what do you expect? it's not like they're going to come
up with some masterpiece of work that gives you insight into the
workings of the universe
douche bags to a stop sign. Is there a problem with that ? the
cops said there was.--> NNY'
well ask the cops why there was a problem
Together ... is this an accurate statement? McDiablo
grammar bother you? McDiablo
sometimes it bothers me greatly
that lad go? I
said 'lad' ... dang, I'm getting older and older sounding everyday.
What's up with that? McDiablo
you're getting old and one day you will die clutching your miss
a strange shape? If you were to take norway, stand it up vertically
on its Southernmost point and let it fall in a southernly direction,
where would its northernmost point land?
why would you do that to norway?
you give out good question awards anymore ?---> NNY'
the question is... why don't you ASK good questions anymore?
if i paid
an extra 40 bucks for the insane snail mail would you send me
a picture of what you REALLY look like?
yes but i'd be lying
roosters only grow when they are sent to live in the garbage cans
with the one guy from sesame street who lives in the garbage can?
cuz i dont think thats very fair.
i think that all of this is unfair and why does it have to suck
when its not even sucking as bad as it does for other people but
damnit it all still sucks and i can think that all i want
notes will we take tonight in Psychology? Will my fingers be achin'
like they were last week? McDiablo
yes and then you'll drop your pen and someone will step on your
fingers... hurting them further
I have to
start work on Monday ... at a chocolate store. I take the boxes
of chocolates and put them on the shelves to look pretty. I did
the same job at this store during Valentine's and Easter. Have
the boxes missed me? McDiablo
sure they have... and i'm going to go mess them all up
one get rid of that lovely greasy egg and sausage smell? McDiablo
don't eat disgusting greasy eggs and sausages
up with my sleeping habits? I mean, I woke up at 7:47 today (and
thought, 'Hehee, that's a plane'), then went back to sleep. I
woke up again and it FELT like I'd been asleep for hours...but
it was only 2 hours later. Is my clock playing tricks on me? McDiablo
no your body is playing tricks on you... it does all sorts of
crazy shit while you're asleep