have you heard of 54-40? and their song "cheer up peru"? if so, where might i find their mp3?
i have heard of that band but not that song... i use kazaa to download music... but remember.. if you really like the band and want to support them then buy the cd afterwards....

where do you find a mans G-spot?and how do you find it
i have to admit that i am not knowledgeble on gspots or exactly sure what they are... how about you find out for sure and enlighten us

what is your feelings of free plastic lego plants
i would love to have as many as i can get

Ok there is a big case right now where a woman is having a sex change. She or He is up for a custody battle. The big thing is weither the judge will rule that it is a woman or a man. What are your views??--Mistofflies
what does it matter what sex they are? what is the custoday battle over? a kid? if so then the focus should be if the person is of sound mind to raise a kid properly...

why do you put the 'new' icon next to your story about the cold but beautiful Kate when it is at least two months old?
because sometimes we forget to take those things away... we are busy! thank you for the reminder though

what music do you like? and are the rumours true that you slept with a kipper?
i like lots of different types of music... patton related items, pwei, rediscovering that i like manson etc... depends on my mood really... and you have no proof of anything... that kipper is a liar

the shrill voice of the moon has more mongeese than the twelve mice eat cheese all day says the ginggangooly monster is over there is no pie? - Fido Dido
just because there is a ? in there doesn't mean that your question isn't just nonsense

Is there such of a thing as terminal insanity or can you just get more insane and more insane? -The X
i'm not sure... i think that terminal insanity is more where you wipe yourself out without really knowing it

Why is Iceland so green and Greenland is so icy? were the people naming these continents smoking some "greenland" of their own or was their eyes just "iced" over? - The X
they are trying to confuse you... lure you into greenland and bury you in the ice to die slowly

what does SAnimal look like?
similar to the cartoon on the members page... most of those cartoons are pretty close

Upon my decition to murder my teddy bear i have come to a problem. Please advise me on what device to use, how to do it, when and where? You can not change my decition to kill him because he was cynically ploting your assassination. thanks. you welcome! -The X
pretend you're sick... have him come to comfort you and then rip off his head and eat the stuffing... then put his head on a pole and parade it around town

where in san jose,ca can i get a brazillian wax? Thank you. Miss Pink
i'm not quite sure... just go to a craft store, buy some wax and do it yourself

find me a dirty, wet ,pussey pics
find your own... try the newsgroups

where can i find pictures of Marilyn Mansion
do a search on yahoo or something.... and it's marilyn manson not mansion

why is mr.mellor such a loser?
he ate too much paint as a teenager and his dog won't let him touch his ass anymore

will i ever fall in love?
perhaps... however you won't be loved back

WILL I EVER TRAVEL TO CONSTANTINOPLE AND PYONGYANG, WHERE I CAN GIVE ALL MY PU'DONG TO DIEING SHREWS? -AMSSOD
wasn't constaninople the place that the xians went to save and instead took it over??? anyways you're not going so send your money to me

Why have the Jan 2002 what if's not been put up? it's february.
i have been ill and jcp has been insanely busy... i am working on it... probably be up in a day or two

What words, including countries that rhyme with orange?
forange, El Salaorange, and the city of LeOrange

where can i find picures of pepsi and meat
i'm not sure and i don't care to know i am PISSED at pepsi and yahoo for shoving that fucking stupid bitch in my face

Damned Italian waiters. Damn them all! Right?
damn everyone who doesn't send me money

Would you, could you, scratch my back?
only if you rub my back

Yo DC,thanks alot for the advice!But it was usless!!!I made her use earmuffs now her hed fell off!!!now how am i gonna get her whole fuckin head on without someone noticing? ------pimpstajimsta
use duct tape... that fixes everything... if not then bury all the evidence and deny everything...

Why can't i see myself in the mirror anymore?
the wall is not a mirror... if you hang the mirror back up then you will see yourself

Why are you so intent on being ill?
i'm not... i'm pretty tired of the whole damn thing actually

When is a cat not a kitten anymore?
when what it's doing bad isn't so much cute anymore as annoying and upsetting

What is the name of the town smurfs lived in??
smurftown... smurfville?

what are some indirectly contagous diseases
stupidity... flesh eating disease??? herpes? i don't know

whats the best way 2 make a girl come
ask her and then do whatever she says... everyone is different believe it or not...

how do u straighten a bend dick
popsicle sticks and duct tape usally does the trick

what is the history of the hokey pokey?
it began back in the days of ancient greece when people starting have communial baths... i'd tell you more but it's got me all excited and i must go try to have a communial bath of my own now

is there a line between nonsense and insanity? or are they one and the same? - Fido Dido
nonsense can sometimes be a form of insanity but i prefer to keep them in different categories... nonsense is just crap... insanity requires a bit more to it... a bit more creativity

I was watching the new Britney video and she is standing on the edge of a cliff. The first thing I said upon seeing this(before switching the channel!) was, "Jump! Jump!" Is that normal??McDiablo
yes... that or violently throwing up... i am sick of having her stupid fucking face shoved down my throat... i am boycotting any channel that puts a commercial with her in it (for pepsi or some fucking horrid movie the bitch is in) and will never again drink pepsi... and FUCK yahoo for putting those stupid ads on there too

what happens if you dont?
then the world comes to an end and i for one will be thankful

DC, my foot has fallen asleep. how do i wake it up so i can walk to the toilet to take a piss?
just run for the bathroom and ignore the foot... hop if you have to...

why do canadians say 'aboot'?
they don't and anyone who believes that is stupid

when people say 'i have no life', does that mean their dead?
pretty much yes... they are saying that in their social lives they are the equivelent to being dead

spooky... eh?
no

Ok so how should we kill valentines day. i perfer a bomb. Whats your choice?--Mistofflies
i prefer to be a sniper... to make sure i take out only the stupid and don't accidently take out any freaks or smart people cuz we have uses for them still

when are you gonna update "people suck"? i introduced a couple of mates to this site, and thats theyre fave bit. personally i like the insane thoughts, i keep finding new ones that i havnt read. in my.theinsanedomain.com are we gonna be able to add to these sections? - Fido Dido
well we've updated the things that suck... and we do have some more people that suck to add soon... so keep your hand in your pants and we'll get to it soon...

If roses are red, and violets are blue, and sugar is sweet...... then what the hell ARE YOU?
i am dc the sock monkey.... filled with wisdom and insanity... and vitamins

If you took three hamburgers and combinged them with a super computer what will you get?
a mess... and not a mess i'd like... but i'll take that super computer

hey wazz up im 16 years old my penuts is 5' inche long do u think that it's going to grow more?
it might... keep pulling on it...

what comes before 12? - Fido Dido
my lunch, my coffee and maybe some music

What is the meaning of Cheese?
if i told you then you'd know and it'd ruin everything

Why are the purple flying monkeys chasing me? Why am i such a moron? It's not my fault. AHHH THE MONKEYS THE MONKEYS
they like your ass and want to touch it... just let them... and yes it is your fault you're a moron

I shot a monkey but it rencarnated itself why are they so frickin invincible, and why are they purple?????????
that's the superpower of the purple monkey... in order to kill it you have to kiss it and call it 'fred'

I am damn good and pissed! The guy down the street let his dog piss on my car again. How can I get him back for this? I already slept with his wife, she was lousy. I'm thinking of using a combination of firebombs and drunk midget clowns. What can you suggest?
all you've done is punish the wife... i say piss on the guy and his dog... see how they like it

Some guy said I better get out of Dodge by sundown. I'm not in Dodge and it's three in the morning. What the fuck is going on?
just ignore that man... he's on the tv and can't actually see you... in fact turn off your tv and sell it...

Why do they sterilize needles 24 hours a day if they have a lock on the lethal injections?
to kill you, your family and that kid you knew in second grade... then you can all have lunch on the couch

Can you give me a good website that has sock monkey sex? I will pay you in cans of peaches.
whole peaches or the halves? heavy syrup or light?

Have you ever heard of a guy on the internet named Cliff Yablonsky? If so, what do you think of him?
no i haven't so i have no thoughts on him...

Some guy today asked me if I enjoyed country music. I stabbed him in the thorax with an old pen knife. So how are you?
i'm ok but still recovering from being sick... damn jungle fever... thats the last time i believe a dirty jungle monkey when she says she's had her shots

DC, I love you. Not in a gay sort of way, more like a prison sort of way. Just me, you, and a carton of Marlboro. Whaddya say?
i don't smoke but replace that with money and sure

I think you passed on your sickness to me freak ? Sally
i told you not to swallow my spit...

Awwww I'm sorry for calling you freak I didn't mean it. But I am sick and I'm not very happy about it . Can you cure me? Sally
i can't cure anyone right now... and i'm used to being called a freak... i am called that more then DC or anything else

Also we have started to let our cat outside as she is getting a bit destructive in the house.She seemed to love it ,which is good. Anyways she seems to take to me more then my boyfriend ,any reason why? Sally
cats like one person over another... they are like that... or they like one person for cuddling and another for playing

Are you feeling better yet? Sally
a bit but not completely yet

What do you do when your father is going through a mid life crisis? Sally
right now i'm just waiting for it to pass... my dad is in one and i don't think he knows it yet... he keeps planning for 'after he's gone' but he's healthy and he's the only one thinking about that shit...

If your dad is having a midlife crisis... What is it like? What kind of things does a male Sock Monkey go through at this time? But wasn't one of you're parents a washing machine? Is the other one, therefore, a woolly sock? - Mzebonga
well maybe not so much a 'crisis' but more like a 'change'... he seems to think about what's gonna happen when he dies a whole lot more... and concentrating on building a little security cocoon around him... no my parents weren't washing machines... one was a sock... and another was a monkey

if at first you dont succede dont try at all right? - The X
no... then send me money so i can do it for you

should i do what the voices tell me even if it requires lots of killing? or even none for that matter? -The X
well sometimes yes... i mean other times it would just be a bad idea... and rude

why do people send me mail in chinese when i can't even read it??
to confuse you with fancy characters until you agree to sign over all your possesions... but tha'ts ok because you don't need them to be happy anyways

what can i use around the house to masterbate
anything but the furniture polish... and the scrub brush... oh and the toothpicks

There is war in the east. Hollywood is more currpot and perverted as ever. Our kids are killing each other ar schools. Our tv sets look like cheap porns now. BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BANANAS IN PAJAMAS??--Mistofflies
they fell down the stairs and turned to mush

Do sock monkey's eat meat or are you vegetarians?? McDiablo
depends on the sock monkey.. i'm a vegetarian

When your nipples get touched, do they also quiver?
depends on who is doing the touching and why

Do you think sock monkeys will be the last great philosophers of the new millenium? Newman
absolutely... anything is better then those stupid snails pondering the bleakness & absurdity of life

Whut do you think about freeway from Atari? I personally love the game!! Newman
i think that you should send me an atari and copies of joust, centipede and freeway

Don't you think Metallica is the SHIT!!! Although the whole Napster thing sucked. Newman
metallica DIED after master of puppets... after that some really lame people took over and got bad haircuts... and i think lars should have his drumsticks shoved up his ass...

Is conditioner really necessary? Newman
no it's not... it is a way to make you wash your hair twice and spend your hard earned money... why wouldn't they just make shampoo better and complete? the hair care companies are bastards... bastards!

Tom Hanks is soo good. Do you think he is an alien? Newman
i think that you are an alien trying to make me agree to absurd things...

Michael Keaton?! Batman, BeetleJuice, Whut will he come up with next? Newman
i'm thinking a cross between a kangaroo and a snake... perhaps two of him? you know... pretending they're twins and they meet at camp? or what about how he is a fire fighter who solves puzzles in his spare time with a super-smart dog named Hoolie?

Mike Patton once signed my prosthetic left testicle. would you buy it? Newman
no but i would accept it as a gift... have you licked it? has he? if he has then i may reconsider...

Whut do you think of Super Smash Bros.? I love that fuckin Game. They should have Sub Zero in that game. He would tear some shit up. Newman
i have not played that game... but yes sub zero should be in EVERY game... and you should start sending me games as well as a game system

Is there a guitar god higher than Buckethead? Oh exalted one...Newman
well yes but i can't tell you or your head would explode... you just can't handle the truth...

Why is it when I click the updated what ifs under new and updated stuff on the front page it points me to updated questionairre results instead of the updated what ifs?
yea yea we fixed it... damnit we're human & sock monkey... so we error sometimes!!! it's fixed now

do you think ryan and i will stay a couple for a long time?
yes until you meet someone else and decide that hey maybe this new person is better but then is it really worth going through a breakup for a shot at something that might not work? what if you were wrong and it's all just some stupid crush... well then you'd be fucked... so maybe you should just think about it next time

Why do people put sugar in popcorn??-- Mistofflies
i have never heard of that... i have no idea why someone would do that

why are some americans so ignorant about their neighbours to the north, oh and by the way for those of you who are confused, I am talking about Canada. Oh and by the way, I love hockey and beer, yet not all Canadians share the same taste as me.
they just don't really care about others around them... some actually don't know where canada is... but not all are ignorant of canada... and some are ignorant of seahorses... they have no idea about these creatures and when a freak show comes to town with them, they are amazed

what you mean is 'we err sometimes'..right?
i mean that you may screw up but usually i'm right and if you all just obeyed me without question then everything would run a whole lot smoother

IF YOUR MONKEYS DICK TASTES LIKE SHIT DOES THAT MEAN HE IS A FAG?
no it doesn't

IF I HAVE SEX WITH AN ILLEGAL WILL MY KIDS BE ALIENS?
yes but only on tuesdays

I LIKE FISHY CIGARS SHOULD I RUN FOR PRESIDENT?
not unless you've shoved them up your ass first

i think this box doesnt like me asking questions, cos you didnt answer the ones i sent you! the voices in my head tell me to eat people. what should i do? - Fido Dido
perhaps you and the box should sit down and work out these 'issues' you seem to be having... and later on perhaps arrange the same sort of meeting with your voices... there is probably something wrong with you since no one seems to be able to get along with you

Whats love got ot do with it?--Mistofflies
nothing it's all a plot to make movies and television suck

How are the cats doing right about now? - Mzebonga
plotting... and sleeping... and plotting... and sleeping

I know Valentine's Day isn't about the mushy lovey dovey slop...what really happened on February 14 oh, so long ago?? McDiablo
people lived... a few people died... some were born... it was a day like any other...

Got a cure for a really sore back?
whining... drugs... death...

is the schwans man a jehovas witness?
yes he is

what the fuck is your problem?
well that depends on who you ask... to some i'm a cold heartless asshole... to others i'm a fuzzy little monkey who needs some tail rubbing... to others i'm that lunatic who honks the horn at everyone... sometimes i'm even that little ball of fuzz that you find in your belly button... i have no problems with any of this

why does this page suck?
the problem starts with you... and ends with you too

why are you a dumb bitch
i'm not dumb

A chicken and an egg were lying in bed, the chicken was lying back smoking a cigar while the egg was looking all grumpy. The egg goes, "Well there's the answer to that question!" Do ya like my joke?! BARCLAY
that made me shake my head... but i don't have an award for that...

Did you get any Valentine Cards? - Mzebonga
no thankfully enough... valentines are irrelevant

Why the big gaps on your answers page? - Mzebonga
well we're learning to use dreamweaver and yea ok so i didn't notice the table size was set to some stupid amount so gaps appeared... i'm trying damnit

Do you think the Valentine Cards sent to me got lost in the post and that's why I didn't get any? - Mzebonga
you didn't get any because you don't surround yourself with stupid people... that's a good thing!

Whoever that was that asked why we canadians say 'aboot' is really dumb.... i think that whoever thinks that we say that kind of stuff is just dumb like their parents that gave birth to them!....Do you think so to? -Asterz
of course i agree and i think everyone should be sterlized to put an end to this problem...

What animal would my tortoise be if I removed its shell???
it'd still be a tortoise... just not a complete one... it would be shell-challenged

NOONE gets on with me, not even myself. i have arguments with myself. the voices say this is normal. i tried to talk with them but they just shouted. they told me that it would be fun to pu t elephants on the road. so i did. i dont think the elephants thought it was fun. the voices tell me to eat cars. should i do this? - Fido Dido
well you can continue arguing with your voices if you're not having as much fun as they are... to torture them try watching tv for awhile... one of those reality shows should be torture enough... then yell out what you want to do and do it... eventually they'll learn to suggest fun things for everyone... and cars taste good

A while ago when someone pointed out something wrong on your website they got a good question award. When I recently did this you didnt give my question an award. Why the hell not?
well maybe i'm just screwing with your fragile little minds... maybe i just felt that that person noticed something pretty obscure... maybe i don't like you... maybe you didn't rub my tail the right way last night and its still a bit sore

why is it that my butt only itches when i can't scratch it?
to annoy and confuse you... and to make you drop things for the amusement of others

why does my boyfreind give such good head and yet we dont have sex??
well enjoy getting head then... some people don't even get that

why do i give such good head and yet i hate to do it, why would god make me good at something i dont like, kinda like english lit at school, and if thats the pattern of things, why arent i good at math??
don't do what you hate... who cares if you're good at it if you don't like it... or at least get paid to do it...

why are we here?
to live, then die... what else is there?

What is the point of lollypop men and woman?
what would the lollypops do without them? that's right... nothing! so you can see the point

Why are you such a bastard?
i'm not... you're just a bitch

If I offered myself to you would you fuck me?
most likely yes

Just how long do sock monkeys live anyway? I've heard they are immortal or they live until they are 28 and three quarters...can you give me a straight answer??? McDiablo
most sock monkeys are not immortal, but we do outlive you humans on average... sometimes sock monkeys get killed while young trying to do some sort of strange sexual position and end up getting lit on fire

COW SHIT SMELLS! DO YOU AGREE- AMSSOD
yes i do

wtf is brass monkey? some kinda drink, but what is it? - Fido Dido
i have no idea... go to a bar and order 10... drink them all then come back and tell us all about it

If I call my girlfriends house and she tells me her parents are gone but that I can't come over, should I asume that she is cheating on me and if she is, should I go and beat the holy shit out of him and put him into intensive care, OR just kill him? - LubisKo
it sounds like you're just not allowed over... maybe you should calm down and take up a new hobby like making lava lamps in your basement... then send me some of them

If you're going to suck in life, for gods sake, suck long and hard. - LubisKo
that isn't a question

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. Would you agree with this? - LubisKo
yes i would... that sounds like something douglas adams would say so i hope you haven't ripped him off

Whats the first thing a women should do when she get out ot the abuse shelter?.......the dishes if she knows whats good for her. lol -SomeRedNeckAsshole
ok that sucked a lot

If I steal a a HUGE bag of weed, and then a week later someone steals my skatebord, do I have the right to bitch then someone has stolen my bord? -Lody
no you don't

its cheese time! what do we do?
eat cheese! send me some!

my baby has saliaved the floor to a slippery sap, how should I take care of this?
leave the room and pretend nothing happened

Do you like kids? or Babies?
i hate most kids, and i detest all babies

do you think it polite to walk around with a sign that says "shut up, you're wasting my oxygen." stuck to my t shirt?-marissa
no i don't... in fact i'd like one of those signs... can you make one for me?

共12共12共12共12共12共12共12共12 i have this problem. these twelves keep following me, as well as this robot _/- -\_ what can i 共12共12 do? - Fido Dido
perform the works of william shakesphere in full costume... that always works for me

绣m 裥豰 J!!璁!! M |<她啉洚 k掰 ﹉庋g●g 匮 m! wh7 ⑴  兄 梼⌒ 邢胸
i am having visions of bitch slapping you for using all those stupid characters...

why should socks with holes in suck? shouldnt socks have holes in anyway? i find them useful to put my feet or hands in. sorry, i thought i best point it out before some smart-arse new kid does - Fido Dido
you're using defective socks... real socks have no holes at all in them... you simply wrap your foot up with it... are you new on this planet or something?

Why do people who can't sing continue to do so ...even when everyone is covering their ears...screaming at them to shut the hell up..??? McDiablo
some people are just fucking rude

Send my pathetic question?? I hope you're grateful I send my pathetic questions! McDiablo
you should be grateful that i even GIVE you a button to press... some people don't even get buttons and you're asking ME to be grateful?! i think you should go to the corner of this site and think about what you've done

where are the fucking pics on this website
they are here dumbass

which end of an amino acid would you rather be, the acidic COOH end or the basic NH2 end ?
i would rather be an anime character that can do cool stuff in the 'wired'

yes i am new to this planet. what is this "chair" for? - Fido Dido
well you put it up your ass for comfort

how come you updated the q&a on the 18th of Feb, when its only the 17th? - Fido Dido
you are insane... this isn't even Feb

whats going to happen in the future?
a whole bunch of stuff including the deaths of everyone you know

What's your favourite Olympic event?
the one where it's all over and then we have memory challenges to see who can remember it the best...

Good Lord, I can't believe someone asked where the pictures are on this site. What do you propose we do to people like that? McDiablo
well at first i wanted to spank them but then i figured it'd just be easier to spank myself

How tall are you in beer cans(regular beer cans, not coors)? --Insanelane
i have never found that out... i'll have to do that

Why does my grandmother always scrath her bum with a tooth brush
its easier and more polite then using her fingernails or beating you to use your teeth

would you touch your own fathers doodle for a cracker jack
i'd have to say no

can i have a drink
yes and get me one while you're at it

why do you look at me like im some kind of jerk
I'm trying to figure out exactly what kind of jerk you are... there are many species

honey on your pancakes?
no thanks... I'll have maple syrup... but not on them... in a bowl beside them

Hello? - dane
hello? is this thing on?

would i be considerd a freik if i had sex with my own mother? - Dane
no not a freik... in fact I'm pretty sure that isn't a word... you'd be other words

when IM scared can i think of you? - Dane
i can feel you thinking of me... and then i think of you

i have nothing to do , should i take up golf? - Dane
is it really that bad? have you tried sleeping?

how do you like your steak? - Dane
i don't eat steak... I'm a vegetarian

should i beleive in god , even if i murder small inocent children? - Dane
i thought that is how one proved they were religious?!

how many dogs do you have? - Dane
none i have a cat

my mum says that IM adopted , is that true? - Dane
for her sake i hope so

i am in love with the most wonderful woman alive, will we live happy ever after? - Dane
only if you kill yourselves now

how do i tie my shoe laces if i have no arms? - Dane
you get someone else to do it or just keep wearing the slippers the hospital gave you

can you jump higer then a monkey? - Dane
of course... I'm a sock monkey

i have sexual dreams that IM eating my fathers pillow, do i have aids? - Dane
no you don't but you've been sucking your father off at night in your sleep

may a fart be on your fathers beard? - Dane
not today

if i payed you $10 would you put a hotdog up my anus? - Dane
yes i would

how big an answer can you give me for this question?- are you a fluff? - Dane
I'm not a fluff and that's all you get

if i clap my hands together at a very fast rate will i turn into a fat cunt? - Dane
no but if you balance a plate on your head while doing that then the answer is yes

hello susan would you like cup of tea? - Dane
no thanks julia I'd like my damn coffee

how many olds are me? - Dane
2

i want to eat your children? - Dane
i have none so enjoy

can you pass the salt? - Dane
i have no salt

if i ask enough questions will you dedicate a whole page to my questions on your site? - Dane
no... you're not that special

why do people hate me? - Dane
i think it has to do with constant and annoying questions... maybe you should brush your teeth more... maybe the frantic hand gestures distract people and make them feel ill... it could always be that dead penguin carcass you drag around behind you...

the bee-gee's where on the radio yesterday and i actually taped my foot to the music, do i deserve to die a painfull death? - Dane
yes... and not just for that

do you feel sad? - Dane
no

fuck you all DIE! ! DIE ! !, will you be my friend? - Dane
no

am i crazy for wanting to have sex with animals? - Dane
not crazy... stupid... try just paying hookers to wear animal costumes... that's much safer

do clowns make you laugh? - Dane
they make me question their motives... why do they paint the smile on instead of just smiling?

i like sandwhiches? - Dane
you probably do.... damn hippy

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhow may x's did i type? - Dane
too many for me to allow...

sometimes i dance to greek music, would you care to join me? - Dane
no i don't dance but i hope you fall

is this a question or a kitten? - Dane
damnit you need to send me money and some cheese... why can't you do that already?

who invented the word toast? - Dane
i did when i got bored

can i put my hand up the front of your shirt? - Dane
yes but don't tell all your friends i let you do that

what does the word antidisastablishmentarianism mean? - Dane
didn't you understand the description in the dictionary?

am i human? - Dane
no you're one of those random question generators with too much time on it's hands

when are you goin 2 add more stuff to the Canadian page? Insanelane
not for awhile... we're working on that damn my.theinsanedomain.com so just shut up until we get to it you greedy little brat! it's always more more more with you people!

Funny, this wasn't the site i was looking for when i asked the search engine to tell me how to make hallucinating acid. But i pose the question, Oh great oracle of something about monkeys, tell me how to make acid that will effect my brain in the hippiest of ways so that i may see the all the colors of the rainbow in a cheap (then later profitable) way?
i lost my secret special mix somewhere... i had it all written down with pictures and everything... damnit... i put it in that place where i thought for sure i wouldn't forget but damnit i forget where that was... when i find it i'll let you know

What percentage of the legally insane in the US between the ages of 21 and over are parents?
all of them... and most are not insane in the fun way

i hate human beings. my problem is i happen to be one. besides commiting suicide, how can i solve this problem?
ensure that you can't breed... that is an excellent solution... be sure to encourage others to do the same

hey...just say yOu have AIDS, and then someone rapes you. do you tell them you have it to deter/warn them or do you just let them have it because they are the offenders and they deserve it?
yes tell them... hope they die painfully from it... hope they don't purposely go around giving it to more people

what's your favourite cuss word? mine is calling people 'tits'. it's less repeptitive than 'bitch' and 'fucker'.
i use the word fuck a lot... more then i should really...

i read your story 'the pond' and i have to ask you, did you steal my first grade school book, because it sounds like one of the stories i had to write.
no i didn't steal your book... i have my very own... and ones about monster going to the zoo

dc if fred had no tongue to speak then how did he speak to the guy that had his hand up his ass?
sign language...

if parents teach us that lying is bad why do they tell us about santa? from saracen
parents that do that are liars... plain and simple... they want to teach kids things but don't lead by example

i want to have sex with dead people , am i sick in the head or am i normal? - dane
you are sick in the head if you actually do it... but there is nothing wrong with you thinking about anything

1+1= ? - dane
i'm not telling you

can you hear then they are all around me, i can hear them breath
they want to kill you

should i wear pants? - dane
yes

can i eet a coathanger? - dane
please do

i am very unpopular with the ladies, is this cause i have no front teeth? - dane
it is because you mistake quantity for quality

if i chew on your ear, will you be the pancake?--syko morgana
no but if you bring me money i will dance

what is a penis?--syko morgana
ask your grandpa... he'll show you one if you ask nicely

chewey the cheese chihuahua chowed trillions of chewey checkered cheese champs(a chewey kind of tasty treat) but now cheweys chewed up chihuahua chewer's can no longer chew so what should chewey do?--Syko Morgana
that was annoying

whats the best way to get rid of a soar throat?--Syko morgana
zinc tablet things... and lots of screaming

I've been thinking about "hammers" more than usual of late. Before that it was "pants", and even before that it was "duck hat". I'm pretty sure I know why it happens, but, thats not my question. I want to know if you can see some connection here, or if you can deduce something from this, since I cannot. Disco Volante was brilliance. - Mr. Wuck
disco volante was indeed brillant... and forget about hammers... the newest thing is 'salad'... it's amazing how many things can be put together and called 'salad'....

Where is Borneo anyhow? Or does such a place exist?
i can't tell you... i haven't been authorized to share that information with you... and yes it does

A goal I have set for myself (long term) is to fill an entire room chalk full of balloons then get in and have someone close the door and just...see what happens. Is this worth while? Or is it just "one of those things"? - Mr. Wuck
well if you get enough free time and enough balloons i say give it a try... there is no reason why you shouldn't

when and how do polar bears mate??
when they want to and however they want to... i don't know... there aren't any around here to watch

I love anything Mike Patton does but just cause Limp Biszkit opened for Faith No More doesnt mean you cant hate them , they suck, they are not in it for the music it aint sincear , all they want is to be big rich rock stars, so do you hate them and dislike their crap music? - dane
the only good thing about limp biszkit was that they opened for faith no more... other then that they are completely unnoteworthy... after all your annoying questions i'm glad we can agree on that

will you suck my balls? - dane
how much will you pay me? and you know you'd love every minute of it so be sure tip me too

i like to ask stupid questions, do you like to answer them? - dane
not as much as one would think... but not hating it quite completely yet

if i hold my breath for long enough will i turn into a potato? - dane
you will never know if you don't try... stop taking the easy way out

blAHHH BlAllaL BLallL i am a scary monster will you lick my scrotum? - dane
i told you that you have to pay me you cheap bastard

Why the hell DO I keep going back to Sonic?
you have been brainwashed to do so...

How do I know that the light really goes out when I close the refrigerator door?
crawl in there and pull the door closed... you will then discover the truth

DC, what do they put in slurpees that make me so damn addicted to them.. and no i do not add anything "special" to them... -Miss Rogers Sweater
crack... and sugar... same thing

can i ask you a question? - dane
can i slap you in the face repeatedly until you ask GOOD questions?

why do people say how are you, i really think they dont care? - dane
well talk about service...no they don't damnit but they force it upon me... each day i answer the phone and each time someone says "Hi how are you?" and in order to get the whole thing over with quickly i need to reply "Fine and yourself?" and pretend that i give a flying fuck when of course i never do... so i have decided to fight the sytem (sometimes not all or i'd be fired) and confuse them by saying "I'm alive and I guess that's ok for now." or "I could have woken up dead but didn't. How about you?"

can you tell me the steps to get out a tuff stain in my favorite bed sheet? - dane
fire... that gets rid of all stains forever

what is the american dollar worth at the moment compared to the australia dollar? - dane
money being worth different values in different countries is one of those things on my 'to learn list' that i haven't gotten to yet...

Is it weird that I find joy out of reading the thesaurus? McDiablo
no... i think that's normal... anytime i look up or read from my dictionary or thesaurus i highlight it... yea you heard me... that's so i can go and make sure i've read each one so i'm smarter then everyone else and can dazzle them with strange stories & amazing facts

Getting back to the thesaurus thing....is a thesaurus really a dinosaur cleverly disguised as a book?? McDiablo
they told me they weren't going to tell anyone else the 'secret'... i'm very pissed off now

who is jo jo binkers?
a puppet that eats small birds and candy

Whatever happened to the likely lads? - Mzebonga
it's likely that they left... maybe nigel pissed on them?

Why do people always ask such stupid questions, that get even stupider answers?
i'm not sure... ask dane why he asks so many

why do stupid girls think they have to be skinny to be hot? i mean, if a guy wanted something thin, hard and pointy, he'd buy a pencil.-marissa
pencils don't give head

What the dillio?
hi ho the dario

Since you are made of socks, do you take a bath in the washing machine like the rest of them? McDiablo
no i have showers... would you like to watch?

my pet rat died yesterday and i was very sad, so you care? - dane
no i don't... and i'm just to tired to pretend

has there been any time in your life where you have felt compassion for a human? - dane
yes but then i woke up and what a nightmare that was

whoes idea was it to make this site anyway? - dane
jcp's... she started it... here is the history

why do we have day light savings? - dane
so when you die you can pass those hours to your kids

what are you opinions and views of transgenic organ transplants? do you think a animal should die just to save a stupid humans life? - dane
no they shouldn't... we should figure out a way without killing something/one else

why must we bitch over small things that are insignificant like world hunger? - dane
well if you sent me that pizza like you promised then i wouldn't be so damn hungry

speaking of world hunger, do you think that people that are from third world countries who are starving look funny? - dane
the people who have purple hats with bells look funny

DC i dont say this about many humans but i like your style my friend? - dane
i'm not human... i'm sock monkey... damnit look at the picture! and you can be my friend when i get the cash in the mail... that's how it works with everyone

sock monkeys are prerry cool, i can rememeber when i was little my cousin had a sock crocodile, what are the sock monkeys thoughts on sock crocodiles? - dane
they are the misfits of the sock world... i for one like them

why do people ask why so much, i mean really, what is there to know? - dane
well there is a lot to know... it's just digging through the bullshit...

what is your favorite pizza toping? - dane
cheese

why do woman have to get pms?, ITS SO DAM SCARY ! ! !, - dane
not all women get it... there are ones that actually get real symptoms and the majority are just using it as an excuse to be bitches

do you suffer from dangle berries or clag nuts? sweddybob
i suffered once... while on the bus that one summer day... what was the question again?

those sock monkeys that where recalled for having needles and pins in them that where sold around about 1998 or whenever, how come they have a little thing on their head that looks like a penis? - dane
so when the kids sucked on it's head... they were learning the valuable skill of sucking dick

you get tons of questions, but i thought id ask the most famous and the mother of all question and see what answer DC gives,........to be or not to be? - dane
not to be

is it ok to be pathetic? - dane
no... but your definition of pathetic is different from mine

would you call me a idiot for actually saying life is good cause im in love? - dane
no but i'd laugh at you

have you ever considered trying to break a world record, if not what one do you think you would like to break? - dane
i would like to break those involving books, insanity and hair

call me crazy but am i the only one that wants to be a super hero? - dane
i'd like to be spawn and hell yea i'll lead the army

Do you ever wish that you are a chick so you can sit in front of the mirror all day and feel your boobs? - Dane
if i were a chick, I'd know what my boobs look like and wouldn't need the mirror... and no i don't wish that

why do birds sudenly apear every time you are near? - Dane
i smell like worms

why couldnt the baby turn around in the hall way?, cause it had a rake stuck through its head,............do you think this joke is funny or rather amusing at all? - Dane
i like the rake idea... but the hallway thing is boring

1st time to your site.I fuckin luv it man! Anyways,I hooked up with this real kinky slu---er--ah...I mean,girl.I've got something I want to try on her but I'm not sure how it will turn out so I need your advise. I'm going to give her a"cherry koolade & rock salt enima".I heard that they burn like hell but sure taste good.Now what I would like your op- inion on is:#1 do you think the rock salt will take away the sweetness of the koolade,? If so, #2 should I have her consume a large amount of sugar the night before?and, #3 do you think I should strain the koolade after she expells it prior to drinking it? Thanks DC. You're the shit,man!
1. I'm not quite sure... its not the same every time 2. matter of preference 3. yes unless you're one of those people that bite your nails or never wash your hands because it won't matter... you're welcome

Hey DC, I remember so recently as 5 years ago anal sex was regarded as a weird fetish; in the 60's people who practiced oral sex were branded freaks...so do you think in 10 years time golden showers and good ol' brown lovin' will be a staple of every happy relationship? - Bellafonte
well i think that due to having to clean up that sort of mess, it won't become popular... but bondage will be

Why am i so sad?
you're human

Who would win in a fight, Osama Bin Laden or George W. Bush? No weapons, of course - B.
i wouldn't put my money on george...

why did they choose the letter F for the F1-F10 why not Q?
it was better then Q and L

My grandfather just died yesterday, do you think he saw a white light? Insanelane
i'm sure he saw many different colored lights at some point in his life...

If a swans wing can break someones leg, why don't they do it? Witto
can it? then damn! yea... what the hell, they should be taking out legs all over... but then stupid humans would shoot them... they need to increase their numbers... and then when everyone least suspects it...

Why do people from the USA say they speak "American'? Don't they speak English??? McDiablo
yes they do speak english... but a bastardized version that can be called 'american'

where do babies come from? - Dane
hell to torture me

every time i log onto the net i come straight here ,how come i am addicted to this site? - Dane
i think the people you trust are slipping drugs into your coffee... that explains some of it... the rest is just my tail and your attraction to it

i nedd a partner for swing dancing, will you be my partner DC? - Dane
hell no i don't dance

Have you heard Mike Pattons two solo albums "Adult themes for voices" and "Pranzo Oltranzista", if so what do you think? - Dane
yes i have and i think that it's not an album to sit down to listen to... its fun to sample sometimes but other then that useless to someone like myself

i saw some tomato and carrot juice in the supermarket and they looked like baby poo or soup have you ever tried either of these yuk looking drinks? - Dane
yes i have and some of them are good... i haven't had baby poo so i can't compare the taste

do you think it would be funny if you tied a midget with rope to the back of a truck, and draged him to his bloody death? - Dane
no but it would be if it were the people who live above me and their fat fucking feet

why the hell is the plastic wraping so hard to get off those little cheese sticks? - Dane
is THAT what that was... that explains a lot...

DC do you think i'm a band geek? i play guitar, bass guitar and clarinet.. -Miss Roger's Sweater
no i don't unless you skip to and from band each time

DC, does my hair elastic make my bum look big? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes it does... really big... massive really...

do you like bananas? - Dane
sometimes

is collius a sexual transmitted disease?
i'm not sure but i don't have it

Can i have a nickel?
no

i think i'm dead. can you help me
get some proto blood and wander the universe

i sock monkey has bitten me and the wound is turning purple. What should i do?
enjoy the trip

How do you spell the word FART?
i'm not sure.. you'll have to look it up under 'fart'

Do i look fat in this?
no but you look like a freak no matter what you do

can i stop time with my foot?
you can try but i don't think it will work... it doesn't for me

why do people like cheese so much?
well it's addictive and should have labels like cigarettes

what does b.h.g.f.d.r.y.c.d.g.r. stand for?
i'm not telling you... you didn't send me cash

why are you answerin gthe qusetions and not me?
oh but i am

can i buy a sock monkey?
yes you may but don't touch it's ass unless you like it

Rules: No gibberish. No repeating the same question over and over. I require great amounts of money for sexual favors. If I think you're using someone else's name to ridicule them, I will alter or remove the name. No making this your personal messaging board. URLs to your stupid and sad sites will be removed from your message, along with email addresses. telling a short interesting story is ok... just make sure you ask a question along with it. I can be bribed to let you break any of these rules if you give me any or all of the following: great amounts of money, mr bungle / faith no more items, leaf tickets. why are these the rules?
if i don't set rules then idiots will take over... they're getting closer...

how many questions can i ask in 1 day
no more for today... i can only answer so many in one day

did you fart?
wasn't me

i had a dream and i saw the number 47348359734573489564783654789356789346587346785 does it mean anything?
it means you should send that amount of quarters to me

how do i know if a am crazy?
ask the pink penguin... he'll tell you

Hey, what's a "Muckaferguson"????
that thing... you know... over there

Why does Kraft Dinner taste so damn good when it's made of crap?
i don't know... i don't eat anything from kraft... why would you eat crap?

excuse me, mr. dc, why is it that mr.t was so cool in the '80's, and to this day, to me he is still cool, but why is it that he's less popular then in the eighties?
he was not cool... and still isn't... that is the main reason

why is it that your breath really stinks like a funky funk right after eating pickled eggs?
i blame society

at bowling alleys, why do they sell socks in vending machines?
it's too expensive to have someone standing there selling them

Why are there so many repeats in the "things suck" section?
repeats? like what? repeats? like what?

Do you guys think you would be cool if you weren't Canadian? I mean, Canadians suck.
i'm canadian and i think it's cool... what you think is irrelevant

I'm saving the world one day at a time. well, just canada, actually. screw the erst of the world. are you with me? - Captain Canuck
the only way to truly save any country is to remove all the humans... so let's save them all

i'm so happy, cos today i found my friends, theyre in my head. i'm so ugly, but thats ok, cos so are you. mmmmmmm.... smells like teen spirit in bloom, doncha think? sell the foods, polly might want some. have i just butchered some great songs, or have i done them a service? - Fido Dido
you have indeed butchured them... but not as much as my mom trying to sing them would

Canada won the ice hockey! Go Canada! Do watch the winter Olympics? - Captain Canuck
i watched bits of it... and yes... the women won gold!

Why did you say "thank you" when someone said you were "the shit"? - Mzebonga
you're supposed to say thank you when someone calls you something... i get called 'the shit' 'shithead' 'freak' and 'fucker' a lot... sometimes i say thank you... it's just manners

hey DC, I hope your eating well and taking care of your self - dane
um ok... well i did just get some food... and i'm sure i'll 'take care of myself' later on today

do you have any compulsive habbits? - dane
i shake my leg a lot, tap on things, and making sure doors are locked

how many tenis balls can you fit in your mouth at the same time? - dane
none... but then again i've never tried that

why dont people stop to think before they do stupid things? - dane
if they stopped to think then they wouldn't do those stupid things and then damnit we might actually have smarter people walking around instead of these morons that keep breeding

will the world stop revolving around the sun if i dont eat my breakfast? - dane
no it won't... i never eat breakfast

why is poo brown? - dane
it's not always brown for me... try eating corn for color

instead of god turning water into wine , wouldnt it been more smart to turn it into something like Staminade so all those dick heads at that table had more energy for their long and hard journeys? - dane
how about just making humans be less shitty to each other, that would have a bit nicer to have then wine...

do you think that corn chips are over rated? - dane
yes they are... but sometimes damn do they taste good

why do phycho people usualy breath heavy and you can hear it? - dane
i think you're psycho for taking notes on how people breathe...

waiter thers a fly in my soup, what a classic , do you think so? - dane
no i don't actually... classic is chicken little jr but that's a whole cartoon waiting to happen

what would you do for a good time if you where a turkish disabled person? - dane
well pretty much the same things i do now i suppose... except in turkey and disabled

why won't america apologise to canada for at first jumping to conclusions and blaming canada for the terrorist attacks (they said the terrorists got in thru canada right?), when it was actually their sucky security that let the bastards in?
as if politics has room for apologies outside of being caught with an intern... the states is always rude to us... we're used to it so when we come to your country be nice to us... we have shitty neighbors that make the rest of the neighborhood look bad

Why is dane so fucking irritating, and an ignorant bastard>?
if i had that answer i'd be taking some action... i think dane has a LOT of free time...

would i be able to hire you as an assassin?
yes you can

how can anyone expect a girl to have a 38-22-34 figure and at the same time be able to get around without crawling on all fours?
i have no idea what those numbers mean... but all i expect girls (well all humans really) to have is intelligence

i'm trying to arrange for a mass suicide, where everyone on earth will commit suicide in unison so we can get the hell off the planet and leave the animals alone. first, of course, i'll make sure any caged animals are freed so they don't starve when their human keepers aren't around to feed them. i want to know, though, how should i begin?
well i say give up on trying to make it 'suicide'... just exterminate them without their cooperation... it's easier... so after making sure the 'save the animals' plan works, i say you infect the water supply of all nations with a certain type of chemical that will build up in someones body but not have any side effects for now... then after everyone has been taking it for months... then send out the trigger drug in the syrup for all coke & pepsi products... this 'trigger' drug reacts with the chemical you had them drinking and it takes them out quickly... this is make it harder for the trigger to be found... that will take out north america at least... you'd have to find other foods to put the 'trigger' in for other nations... but that's just a quick idea...

Why is there no cut off age for being with a drivers liscenes. And why isn't there a weight limit for the speedo store?---Mistofflies
well if the rules for being able to drive are met then there is no need for one... what i'd like to know is why this 97 year old guy who can't see worth shit, hits curbs, goes through red lights and more gets a fucking liscense even though they test him every year... who the hell is testing him and how the fuck is he passing? speedos are bad on all... they should be restricted to atheletes who wear them for a purpose

Have you ever been trampled in by a huge crowd of people? McDiablo
yes and it sucked

I know you are wondering this too, but why does Dane ask so many questions? McDiablo
well i know i've commented on this a few questions ago... i'm sure most of us have been wondering that... i think it's a combination of lots of free time and caffeine... if i started charging 5 cents a question i'd be getting a steady paycheck from dane alone...

How do you masterbate with a sock (like in american pie)
if you can't figure it out then you're not ready to masterbate

everytime i see one of my answers get a good answer award , i get sexually aroused... is this normal???? should i seek help????please dc, help me... marissa
yes this is normal... perhaps you'd like to come over and hang out with the green head for a bit? maybe i'll let you touch him too....

does tea really have more caffeine than coffee? maybe i should stop drinking coffee and become addicted to tea.
i think that before heating/boiling or whatever that tea has more or something but afterwards coffee has more... something like that... i forget and don't really care enough to look up the answer... coffee makes me twitch and i drink a lot of coffee

since dane has been asking so many questions, does he get extra points?- marissa
no... i think that dane should send me money though... that would be great

i think i'm addicted to theinsanedomain. is there a support group i can join? theinsanedomain anonymous?
this is the support group... we're all here to support each other... if you are looking for somewhere to cry then someone else will have to help you... we're not that kind of support group

my room has blue curtains, should i get green ones? - dane
no, stick with the blue

whats the fomular for making a good squid shake? - dane
squids in a glass, put on the lid and shake

I sure as hell didnt talk to your friend, why do you ask? - dane
i think you did and you're lying again...

I will not be able to ask questions for a period of about 4 or 5 days cause im moving to america, will you miss me for that period of time i will not be in your life? - dane
i'm sure there are people cheering out loud at their computers right now...

my mum just made me some toast and vegimite, do you think i should eat the bit on top first or the bit on the bottum? , although i will have eaten these two peices of toast before you answer my question i will use your answer for further events of eating toast in the near and distant future, i sincearly thank you for your time and wish you a merry honagert - dane
i don't know what vegimite is?! so i'd eat the toast and perhaps some crumbs from the floor...

did it really fall off the truck? - dane
twice actually... the second time it hurt too

why do french people eat snails and frogs legs? - dane
why do americians eat cow and emu? why do the inuit eat seals? people try to eat everything they can... why one thing over another? taste

at this site ive been spelling my name with a lower case d but i would like to change it to a capital D cause at first i sent it but i ment to put a capital cause its my real name and a capital D i think would make me look more smart and sofisticated<------- i just know thats not how you spell that word , but you seewhat i mean, if i had been spelling my name all this time with a capital im sure i would of spelled that right , so do you think i should spell it with a capital D or leave it as ive been doing and leave it to start off with a lower case d? - dane
i say go with the lowercase d... it suits you more and doesn't make your ass look so big

just thought id let you know i looked the word " sophisticated " up in the dictionary so i know how to spell it now, but ill ask a question cause thats what im suppose to do,...... have you ever wished that you could own a small island covered in midgets so as you walk around they can tickle your balls with feathers? - dane
no but now that you've mentioned it i will be...

hey sock monkey what is your favorite tool? - dane
myself or a hammer

have you ever ran as fast as you can on purpose just so you can feel like your runing as fast as someone else can, or do you run fast as you run faster? - dane
i don't run... i don't even remember the last time i really had to run at all

my old music teacher looked like a troll, should i have poked out hid eyes with a hot stick? - dane
you should have taken that tuba and just ran until you could run no more... then blow into it as hard as you cand and if it made a noise then thow it to the ground and run away screaming

would it be possible to survive by only eating dirt and wood? - dane
i'm sure it is... you'd need water too though...

dam it i just riped my favorite jeans, should i buy a new pair or should i go wog and buy a pair of tracky pants? - dane
put on the track pants... i don't think you're leaving your computer for awhile

I like laughing at the expence of the disabled and old people, do you? - dane
i was the other day but that was my brother's fault... i don't usually because i'm too busy laughing at the stupid humans out there

can you pretty please with a cherry on top give me a stinky monkey butt or whatever you call it award? - dane
i give them out as i see fit... don't beg me for awards

why the hell are we thinking of moving the entire population of humans to the planet mars, wont we just fuck that planet up like we have with this one? - dane
yes we would... unless you put me in charge or daneel

if you knew i was your long lost brother would you enjoy being related to me? - dane
i'd demand some proof before i'd even consider the idea of that... it's bad enough i'm related to the family members i know about already

i have no life and lately i just come here to ask tones of crapy questions cause im depressed and i have nothing to do, do you feel for me? and also, how do i get a life?, i just dont mean "a life" i want a good one? - dane
i was right! no i don't feel for you but if you send me money i will... and you do have a life... just do something with it like send me money to run this website... and some pizza... that will make your life worthwhile

my cat just farted, should i eat the stupid little cunt? - dane
no... you should give your cat treats

is the rumor true that M C Hammer use to sleep with a three tailed sloth? - dane
i don't know... but i don't care either way

I think sloth is a rather amusing word dont you? - dane
it was in highschool but that's a whole other story... right jcp?

will you kiss it? - dane
i told you my rates already... get a job if you must

are you ready to wiggle mother fucker? - dane
ready but no one i approve of is willing

I'm sorry ? - dane
i don't think you are

Kan yoo speel az gud az wut eye kan? I beet yoo karnt! BARCLAY
damnit barclay stop spelling like that

Are you a hockey fan?
yes i am

yesterday, my back was really itchy, and the first thing i reached for was a fork, and it did the job well, except that it left giant red marks all down my back. I need something more soft yet something that works, i was thinking along the lines of a sock puppet. Whats your take on this dc?
putting sock puppets into slavery? i think not... try using a wooden spoon

when my foot is on fire, it tickles, but leaves a little bit of a burn. what do you do when your foot is on fire, since you're a sock puppet?
when my foot is on fire i have to dunk it in water or piss on it to put it out

my little kittie has bowel problems. is it the kitty chow, or is it that he eats too many socks....oops, i shouldn't of said that....i think it's the chow....what do you say 'bout that?
i think it's the socks... and take the kitty chow out of the bag...

How many times have you seen Patton live? - Bellafonte
only once sadly... saw mr bungle play during their 'california' tour... damn patton is avoiding me like the plauge

Do monkeys really go to heaven? Or was Frank Black just a lying sack of shit?
well not really and frank just has high hopes... there is no heaven so noone goes... sorry

I went to kindergarten with this girl, her name was Jade something or other; I was so in love with her and when she accepted the invitation to my 6th birthday party I was over the moon; but then i vomited on her and we kind of fell out of touh after that. Where is she now and is she still single? - Bellafonte
she is about 3 hours away from you and is indeed single... however she now has some mental issues that you may find to be 'too much'... give her a call

Do you have a credit card? If so, can you buy me an Adominizer? I'll give you the cash upfront of course. - Bellafonte
yes i do somewhere and hell no... but you can still give me the cash

What is your favourite book? - Bellafonte
well for today it's hitchhikers guide to the galaxy by douglas adams

What do you think of the Euro? I'm going to Italy soon, and I'm worried this is just another of their sneaky money-laundering schemes to make me part ways with my hard-earned moolah. My mother's hotel room got cleaned out while she was visting the Pope, that evil fucker. - Bellafonte
i have no idea what the deal is with that euro thing... tape all your money to you and refuse to speak to anyone

Really, all jokes aside, what's the final verdict on tanning salons? Healthy past time or cancer emporiums? - Bellafonte
anyone who has any sort of life shouldn't be wasting time doing that shit... damnit people spend your time thinking about things that are important instead of being so damn vain...

I got offered $50 to masturbate in front of an elderly gentleman, and I turned him down. Now I'm broke, and I don't know where he lives. Did I make the wrong decision? - Bellafonte
yes you did

Do you think Monica Lewinski gives exceptionally good head, or was she just in the right place at the right time? - Bellafonte
i don't think either statement applies... and i don't want to think about it

Why do I always think about fucking??
who doesn't?

Do you think I don't know who Nigel pisses on? - Mzebonga
oh you may think you do... but you don't always... i've seen him piss on a few people without your knowing... and i know he never told you either...

Are you a pyromaniac or a kleptomaniac? McDiablo
a pyromaniac... i have too much shit already to be scamming more

How do you feel about fake plastic fingernails? McDiablo
i dislike them a lot...

what if snowmen could talk?
i'd ask them if it hurts when they melt

just how insane are you dc? so insane that you need padded walls in your room, or that you have to wear a straight jacket? ~Chimmy Chonga
padded walls are for those rich insane people... and if i had a straight jacket i'd be rolling on the floor in it ... if you have one then send it to me... and i'd like some more movies too... dvds actually

can you play the spoons? how bout dem apples? ~ Chimmy Chong
no and i eat apples sometimes but i don't really like them

what do you do when you've drinken too much liquids, and you're swimming in a pool, do you pee right then and there, or do you get out and pee inside? ~Chimmy Chonga
well i recommend getting out of the pool... although i know a certain sock monkey that shit in a pool once...

How do you feel about Shopping Cart Abuse? I was reading about it and it saddened me very much...-Swanky
it made me cry... although once we took one and shoved it into a buys street... another time we shoved one down a huge hill to watch it smash up... but it was funny at the time

Does it show great patriotism when your hockey team wins gold and you go out and freeze your hands off while waving a flag from your car window? McDiablo
sure it shows patriotism but you freaks woke me up with all that noise

How do we really know the world isn't flat? I mean, aren't we just as guilty of accepting the so-called truth as the people in previous centuries who we now pity for their ignorance? - Bellafonte
woah.... are you saying it's NOT flat? i'd like to hear what sort of 'proof' you have for THAT

Why isn't the word 'phonetics' spelt phonetically? - Bellafonte
to mess with your fragile little mind

Do you want to come over? - Bellafonte
sure... i have nothing else to do right now

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, what is the sound of one hand clapping? - Bellafonte
the real question is 'does anyone really care?' and a resounding no is the answer...

What do they put in porn to make it so damn addictive? - Bellafonte
it's the caffeine... oh you said porn... it's the naked bodies

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender said "why the long face?" True or false? - Bellafonte
false but only because the 'horse' hadn't been around during the time of the alleged bar scene... while the government would like us to believe that horses have been here the whole time but the reality is that they only arrived about 40 years ago... the truth is out there

What did you think of the new Tomahawk album? What did you think of the latest Charlotte Church album? What do you think of album in general? - Bellafonte
it was a good album actually... i wasn't expecting to like it so much... i haven't heard of charlotte church before???!

Have you ever been married? - Bellafonte
does sexual role playing count? if not then no

I don't give a fuck about you, I don't give a fuck about your fucking website, I don't give a fuck about anything...please hold me - Bellafonte
only if you continue to speak insanely... and say fuck again only with meaning

What was your Chinese New Year's resolution? - Bellafonte
not to jab my eyes out with spoons

DC, I have a serious conundrum for a change - I deeply want to join the Taliban, but due to my crappy genes, I can't grow a beard to save my life. So should I go fake, or just give up and join the Republican Party instead? - Bellafonte
i recommend joining my cult and send me all your possessions... and the great thing is that you don't have to have a beard... in fact you don't even have to wake up each day... join today

How much is that doggie in the window? - Foetus (michael)
$40 and he's been dewormed

gibberish chinese men?
well there was one on the phone today asking about mainboards but i had already answered him last week so i was confused and started making things up... i wonder if he'll phone next week to ask the same things...

this dane guy is really annoying, like the stalker type i'd say. do you think dane should go away, cause i sure as hell do. ~chimmy chonga
well when dane broke into my place last night it was kinda creepy at first... but then we agreed to a price and i got my tail rubbed all night... stalkers rule

don't you think that vegetables have rights too? just because they're not furry and cute, and can't scream when we julienne them, doesn't mean they don't hurt. Of course, if we don't eat veg, then we should eat meat, but this is bad also, as animals get hurt. I think we should all not eat anything and die. Better yet, eat each other. What about you?
sure you can eat me... anyways i'll eat veggies and you can try that not eating thing with the rest of the humans... then i'll finally have the planet to myself

how can i harness my 'chi'?
put the toilet lid down, send me all your money, shove all your furniture into your bedroom and chant... if it doesn't work then send more money and i'll just mail you some

Demon Child, when people cheat death, don't you feel sorry for him?
well the last time i flirted with death it was a she... and i don't know why anyone would cheat her

to some people the glass is half empty, and to some it's half full. but to me, it's a ceramic mug and i don't know it it's half empty or half full because i'm tied to the chair at the other end of the room from the mug and can't see into or through it. i also don't know the contents, whether it's water, tea, coffee or piss. besides that, i'm blindfolded so i don't know if it is day or night, or the middle of a lazy Sunday afternoon. I'm not sure if there's a carpet because my feet are bound as well. There's a smell coming from behind me which could be strong cheese or drying catshit. can you please fill me in on the details i'm missing?
well... it sounds like a problem with colors... what is the color of each item in the room? once you've established that then you will discover the whole 'mug' issue and see what you see...

Have you ever eaten poo with corn in it? Did the corn still taste like corn? - Mzebonga
no i haven't but it probably would

When you say: "where insanity runs rampant and so can you", do you imply nudity in that statement also? - Mzebonga
if we've only implied it then we have failed... we fully support nudity while running rampant

It is clear that my energy is ebbing as my questions have been somewhat scarce. What can I do to remedy the situation? - Mzebonga
well send me some comics to replace the ones i've lost and that's it for now...

Why do they sterilize the locks on the doors of the stores that offer lethal injections 24 hours a day? Does it have anything to do with photosynthesis or the effect of light/colour on plants? - Mzebonga
if i had a little animated graphic with me pissing on something then it'd be pissing on you...

Am I in trouble now? - Mzebonga
no... i'm too lazy to make a graphic...

Is that your foot or my elbow? - Mzebonga
i don't think it belongs to either of us...

Do you like lots of questions or a few good questions more? Is it an attention seeking or academic thing? - Mzebonga
i would prefer a few good questions compared to tons of dumb ones... i only like attention when it focuses on my tail getting rubbed or having money sent to me

How would you justify your being "the shit"? - Mzebonga
well i have some good books, and once i convinced someone that i had a magic stick that would make the sun go behind clouds but it was all a sham... if that doesn't convince you then nothing will

Fondue or Ragu? Or both - you could make pizza. - Mzebonga
i'll make pizza... what's the number again?

Why is someone across the room from me looking at porn? - Mzebonga
i've told you before... that is you... that other person is your reflection... remember my showing you that shiny thing that showed you what you looked like? if it is really bothering you then just walk up to that person and tell them off

CDs are shiny. Why do I like shiny things? - Mzebonga
so you feel like you have lots of friends... and shiny things rock

I fell over. Is this a health hazard? - Mzebonga
more of a safety hazard... someone might trip on you

Do you feel loved now? - Mzebonga
no not really... sniff

Is that all? Can I go now? - Mzebonga
well ok but lock the door behind you...

Vegemite is a completely aussie thing. Its yum but people from other countries don't really understand why we like it. Anyway its a black spread thats full of vitamin b and is great on toast and sandwiches. Hope this clears things up. Sally ps-sorry for not dropping in for a while been really busy with all sorts of things.
ahhh ok... and you've moved into a new house... i'm sure you've had quite a few things to take care of... does vegemite taste good?

I'm in the insane domain rehab where people come to dry out after being totally addicted to the insane domain,I'm one of the lucky ones who got over it.The question I ask is how the hell does DC pull everyone in here to this addiction ?Sally
i think it's the caffeine... i had to quit too... damn DC was being a freak and i can't deal with it anymore... can i have the number for that support group?

How cool the mens hockey was won by Canada yay, but alas we don't get ice hockey here unless we buy pay tv damn(we saw the ice hockey on the winter olympics) ,why is pay tv so expensive? and what should we compromise to pay for it? so we can get the hockey. Also when we go to america or canada we have to see a hockey game , a basketball game and a football game,that will be probably ages away but I can dream hehehe Sally
skip the football... that doesn't count (bite me you football loving jocks who disagree) ... and pay tv does suck... we should get it for free and the money made by stupid ads should pay for the service... stupid ads take up half the time anyways like long pop-up ads you can't click away

So who invented curling anyway? Curling is this sport I watched on the winter olympics -like lawn bowls on ice - what the hell kind of crap is that? Sally
i have no idea what is up with that 'sport'... little brooms? round things with handles? no blood on the ice?

So if someone called me fucker I would punch them in head, how come if people call you fucker you say thankyou? It doesn't make sense really.Sally
no it doesn't at all actually... that happens sometimes

This old lady parked behind me cutting me off so I couldn't get out of my car spot ,why do old people do stupid things and what should I do to punish? I'd also like to thank the bloke who also got blocked off for telling those old people off and giving them a good serve on wheres a bad place to park. Sally
that happens way too much... people do that shit everywhere... they just block people in and force you to wait for them to return... we should be allowed to damage their car

Do you do the dew?--Mistofflies
no i don't do the dew

Her's an answer to a question, they have locks on twenty four hour stores in case of riots. Many stores started putting locks on their all hour establishents after some very nasty race riots in Memphis.
my answer is way better... and it's the truth they try to hide from you... those 'riots' were done on soundstages... well ok maybe not but i still like my answer better

Why did you decide to use a dino head symbolising the Good Question Award? It's cool and all...but why a dino? McDiablo
i don't remember actually... i guess i thought it was cool ... for a long time there was no monkey butt award either... until i got a really stupid question and had to make one

I to have a wise internet character that answers questions named ihatespics, my answers to lifes problems can be found at Treson's website:<removed some dead url>in the guestbook. Am I wise or at least funny really I need an objective point of view. I'm a redneck.
there is no page there and i'm not here to review your websites... unless you'd like to hire me as a consultant

are u sexy
as sexy as a sock monkey can be

NO!!!!!! That wont work, I HATE LAVA LAMP!!!!! Pick something else. -LubisKo
fine fine... seashell

Is it ok for my friend to get head in the next room? and if it is, is it ok if i "ask" her to give me head to? - LubisKo
yes it is and only if you say please

Whats ther best way of going about killing my friend,his girlfriend,and her friend? And after I take your advise, if its any good, can I send you pics? - LubisKo
is it worth all that trouble? why not just give them bad chicken or something and make them sick for awhile

Just checking, ok? - X=YRU
well ok but damnit i still want that coffee you promised

what is a sproodle, and does it taste good with pickles? - Mouz
i refuse to comment on sproodles... all you need to know about them is that they are LIARS

who is this general error and why is he reading my disk? -Captain Obvious, RAM!
i think you should rip him out of your disk and beat him senseless...

Would you imply he fact (that I don't know the difference between a egg and a horse because i have and eye hemerage)that i am stupid...because everyone thinks and calls me that.?
well i don't really think we should discuss this right now... ever since that whole 'horse biting' incident... i just haven't been able to handle that sort of discussion

Listen Dick Cocksucker there is a damn page there, just type in <as if i'm going to leave this in>. It's not even my website bitch its just someplace I set up shop at. I live in that guestbook and if you don't go there I'll hunt you down and skullfuck you and your damn monkey. Sock monkey's make great cum rags don't they.
well fuck you and your stupid page then...

vegemite is like marmite. its a cheap aussie rip-off of it. damn them all! - Fido Dido ps whats with all the crap new ppl asking crap questions, and lots of them? they arent even orginal questions, just ones like "whats the sound of one hand clapping?" can we burn them all?
fire... fire! and bring me some cookies

Don't you think Constantinople is so enjoyable to say? McDiablo
i haven't been there... you should pay me to go

Whenever I am chatting online with my friends and I type, "Bwa ha haaa", they claim to hear my voice in their head. Is this normal and should I, for thier sake, stop typing that altogether?? McDiablo
i think you should continue to use it and perhaps get them to start hearing other voices

Have you ever done the Time Warp?--Mistofflies
no actually... but i've been saving my pennies

why do you dislike football so much?
i just don't like it

if a turtle loses its shell is it homeless or naked?
both... and probably pissed off too

when people say "its always the last place you look", NO SHIT! why would you keep lookin for it after you've found it? Do people really do this?
people are very stupid... never forget this

What hair color do they put on a bald man's driver's license?
shiny

where does photosynthisis start at
the sun

If there was a nice, tasty, beautiful glass of coca cola sitting infront of you right now, and it's not yours, would you drink it even though you know that your ass will be kicked afterwards? -Swanky
i'd stick my tail in it

Do you even like Coca Cola?-Swanky
not really... i'm not a big 'cola' fan

can i rub your tail?- chimmy chonga
of course

What's the d-d-d-d dillio? Can you tell me please! i'm confused! :s-Swanky
it's that thing with the tail on the ball that wiggles around and stuff

hey, do you think that bellafonte is the next dane, i believe that you've got another stalker, is that good for you? -chimmy chonga
as long as they keep buying me gifts and giving me rides to work then sure...

do you ever get the feeling that someone's watching you?......maybe it's dane...-chimmy chonga
i think it is... and i've been running around here naked... hmmmm

I want to die...Oh God, how I want to die...you have no idea, I can't take this much longer...oh, shit, um, question...tennis anyone? - Bellafonte
tennis is ok but i don't like the whole points thing... too much work...

Dane should be back soon. Just letting you know. - Bellafonte
this isn't a question...

Do you think it's crazy that my family uses towels as curtains?Even ones with fruit on them?-Swanky
no i don't...

Have you ever in all your life had a sexual relation with someone of your sex?--Mistofflies
i'm not sure... i could have been anything that one time... and those others are just a blur

Do you think heroin addicts sterilize their needles? Why do I have to take traffic safety classes and outpatient drinking counseling? Why is my life a complete wreck? Will you suck my dick you sound pretty hot? I bet you are under six foot, 143 lbs and have light brown hair, and blue eyes am I right?
what's the point? you're a drunk... you're a drunk... hell no... yes/no/no/kinda

Your a sock monkey right have you ever been used as a cum rag, what do you think of just regular socks that are so often used as cum rags, even to the point that they become hard, stained and crusty. Would yo like to be used as a cum rag? p kraked.
no i wouldn't... it doesn't sound like a fun time

what's that smell? -chimmy chonga
i was hoping no one would notice

my friend likes to roll around in mud with pigs in their pen, and most times, when she doesn't bathe, she smells like one too....does this make her a pig, because her nose is forming into a piggishly round figure....-chimmy chonga
no but perhaps in a few years she'll have that title

DC, how tall are you in beer cans(regular berr cans, not the taller ones)?--Insanelane
i have no idea... send me a bunch of cans and i'll find out

Well I love vegemite ,I think its an aquired taste though. Its really hard to discribe. I really couldn't tell you what it tastes like so you'll have to dream about it okay? Sally
ok i'll do that tonite and let you know what i think

Yeah I've been busy with the house the cat and work, my sister had her wedding also and I was the bridesmaid lucky me? Sally
only if you got to wear a dress that made you want to puke

i am having problems talking to people... everytime i look at them all i can think of is how would their skeletons look if i were to skin them alive........ please tell me what to do..... -mandy-

write out conversations beforehand... try to follow the cards... its ok to think of skinning people alive but if you don't have the social skills to lure them in you'll never get a chance

why why why why why? am i the only one feeling this way? why why why why why? do the cloud part that way? why why why why why? so i stay away from the heavens? and why why why? do i have to say goodbye? -mandy-
i'm passing on this

my tummy is growling for food, can you help me?
yes... go have some more noodles

my skin keeps peeling away, what should i do?
keep peeling it until it stops

If you're really that offended by Nigel pissing on you, why don't you just ask me to stop him? - Mzebonga
it was too late... he'd already pissed on me... right in my eye too...

Why is the sky blue
i got tired of green

What does this all have to do with the price of rice in China?--Mistofflies
nothing at all... if you ignore the whole spice connection

Why do you waste time with SAnimal and not kill him on the spot?
i signed some stupid agreement for theinsanedomain and it prevents me from doing so as well as being prevented from hiring others to do so

Don't you think everyday is the worst day ever? McDiablo
yes

I know you are, but what am I? McDiablo
a garbage man

why do i like to keep on trying to fuck my goldfish
you're ambitious

If my beat friends little brothers girlfriend asks me to have sex with her just cuz, would it be wrong for me to have sex with her? And if i do have sex with her do you want naked pics of her? - LubisKo
that depends on your definition of 'wrong'... and i look forward to seeing them

If jake helped you off and horse, would you help jake off a horse? - LubisKo
no

Is that OK? - LubisKo
no it isn't... at least not right now

OOOO by the why DC, she was cheating on me and I did put that little bitch in the hospital, im ok though got off on "self defense", now all she wants to do is have sex with me, should I take her back? - LubisKo
i think you should take all your money and send it to me so i can put my plan of sterlizing people like you into place and don't worry it won't hurt a bit

if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
yes

I just spent 2 hours looking at this site and I must say I LOVED the Sock Monkey Porn, what is the secret to you sexyness? - LubisKo
some say it's my red lips... i think it's my flexible tail... i'll be adding more pics there soon...

If I told you I had godlike powers, would you belive me? - LubisKo

Pharmacy Guy A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. 'Well,' he said, 'I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's 'the' night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack.' The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying with his head down for several minutes after everyone starts eating. The girl leans over and says, 'You never told me that you were such a religious person.' He leans over to her and says, 'You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.' Isnt this a funny story? - LubisKo

not really and that story & similar adaptations are all over... you get no points for creativity

why is the fungus between my toes talking and insulting me?
you haven't fed it lately...

if james bond is british, then why doesn't he hate the irish?
he is an alien and should be shot

i'm american, and you are not. so muwahahahaha! and not only that, i'm a redneck too, so that makes me perfect!
only in your mind

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