Did I tell you about that guy who came in with a Leafs shirt on? Well he did and it was a cool shirt but did he get it from Canada or Perth? I don't think I've seen those shirts in the sports stores here but I could be wrong,couldn't I? Sally
well it is a canadian hockey team but i'm sure that you can order it online from anywhere in the world... so next time ask him and then let us know

DEXTER!!!! Your last report had coffee spilt all over it! If you don't take care of this I will personally get off my ass and come fuck you up!---BOSS
this isn't a question dumbass so you can kiss the photocopy of my ass

what do you do with a coffee table and some life savers?
throw the life savers at the cat and put my laptop on the coffee table

Hey DC. Did you know I de-clawed Sammy? What do you think of that?
of course i noticed it and i think that most cats don't need to be declawed

How can a guy have good long sex with another guy and girl?
sometimes the answer is yes... it all depends on who the guy and girl are and if you're all drunk... 

okay, okay I know this gurl who knows this guy thatknows this gurl that instead of picking her nose and eating the boogers she picks her butt and eats the crap...she still insists that I try because it is very tasty and healthy but I need some one else's opinion on it before I try this "foreign food"!!! so what's your opinion on it???
i say go for it and send pictures

You know French Connection, United Kingdom made a lot of money doing their FCUK label? Well couldn't you try that and have DCIK? What would it stand for? - Mzebonga
dc is killer... shut up i'm tired and that's all i could come up with on such short notice

DC, y r old people so bluddy specail? They think the rule the bluddy buses...y do we have to stand up for them, its not like their gonnd die from standing up!!
they do rule the busses and when you get be a grumpy asshole you'll understand why you need to sit... plus they like to stare into young people's crotches and reminisce about the days when they had working sex organs too

What does the S and the M in S&M bikes stand fro
spank monkey

what does the Ido stand for in the IDO bike parts
i don't object

What does the DC stand for in DCshoecousa
it stands for damn crackers because the owner was obsessed with crackers but then one hit her in the eye and then she hated them so much that she made shoes in the us

is karlie fat?
not really

What do I do when this guy I like says he only wants to be friends?
then be friends or leave him the hell alone

i usually drink alone. i live in the country, my girlfriend doesn't drink, and i work so much that i don't have much free time before midnight, and i simply enjoy my own company and have few close friends. i often drink alone. every other day or so. i'm young and bored. am i an alcoholic?
not yet

what's your favorite pukn fank?
slrork

do you think julia stiles is hot?
no since i don't know who she is and don't care

Oooh! What's that for? Witto
for scraping the crud out from under my toenails

had i owned a doberman pincer, would you run it over with a golf cart? and how fast would you go provviding, the cart could do like 15 mph max?
i wouldn't run over any dogs with a golf cart as i would be aiming for baby carriages and children... i would also have my uncle jim rig the golf cart to go much much faster so i could inflict more damage

i have recently found anal warts on my face, how should i go about getting rid of my goiter? naILNINE
use razors... they should do the trick quite nicely

does DC stand for putrid gastrointestinal?

i found odd pictures of DC having intercouse with a unopened tuna can on this website - www.monkeysinajar.com, is this really you or some fabrication of the devil?
i think you made this whole picture thing up cuz i couldn't see it... but the site is kinda funny so i left the address in the question... don't say i never give you freaks anything

What is talking in your head. How do you hear it or know its there. Because you are not hearing it. You are not using your ears. So what the hell is that.
these weren't questions as there are no ???'s anywhere

the tables are rebelling! run for your badgers! what can we do? - Fido Dido
you can all take 10 dollars out of your grubby pockets and give it to me

Who stepped on my Duck and stole my camel? -Fancy Fork Finger
i think sally did it... but she'll deny it

Will you scratch my ass for me?
sure

Are there any Canadian's that DON'T like hockey?? I mean it's like every Canadian I meet just loves hockey. I mean not every black person you meet likes fried chicken. But I'm thinking, poor Canadians they have nothing else to be known as Canadians for besides ice fishing, saying "eh", and other cheesey things so they just tell everyone how much they love hockey because they think it's all cool and aggressive and All-Canadian. Eh?
yes there are many canadians that don't like hockey... and i don't know what the black person and fried chicken things is about... perhaps this is a stereotype where you are? as for ice fishing... i have never done that... but my sled dog team keeps me warm in my igloo while i eat poutine and speak french all the time as i watch the maple leafs win the cup year after year against the canadians... 

Why did the Canadian cross the road? To get to America.
your wit astounds me

Do people really live on Baffon Island?
people live everywhere like a damn virus

Hey do you know there is actually a CITY in Greenland??? It's called GODTHAB! I dont know about you but I'm totally confused, I would like to know more about Godthab and it's people! Are they really thabby about God?
i don't know anything about them so how about you look it up on your own and NOT share the results?! that would be great as it doesn't matter to me at the moment

Hey DC. What language do the people of Greenland speak? Do they speak Greenlandese? Or what? What language do they speak in Canada? Was learning English hard for you?
most people in canada speak english... not all speak it as their main language though and i suck at understanding those with heavy accents

Hey DC. I need your help! I went to look up Greenland in Yahoo and it gave me some crap about Denmark. Why are they trying to hide all the info about Greenland? I bet it's a really great place with beautiful beaches, french fries, and free money. They just don't want anyone to know about it.
greenland is mostly ice and iceland is quite green... how's that for messing with your minds?

Oops, my ebola virus got out in Africa again. That's the third time its happened. Do you have any ideas to keep that from happening again? -gone postal
remove the humans from the planet... then put it all in a jar with a label that says "Do Not Open"

I didn't step on the duck , I have my own duck you saw my duck and what a cool duck he is, so why would I want to step on someone elses duck? I do have the camel but I'm not telling where it is. hehehe Sally
ducks are not all they're cracked up to be

Oh and we don't want to know what you scrape from under your toenails hahahaha. So can you go do that somewhere else? Sally
i put it all on my monitor and shape it into various shapes

Did I tell you the loan for our house got approved? No well it did its all official now woopieeeeee.I'm so happy. No you can't visit hahaha Sally
congrats and i'm moving into your basement... 

I didn't know you were into tuna cans in that sorta way? hahaha I didn't mean to laugh honest.......Sally
tuna cans aren't around here anymore except for the tuna food that ana eats

So whos second in charge?
i am... jcp is first

So I like chocolate ,whats your favourite?
i don't like chocolate

Put your hand up if you hate strawberry?
no they rock the block

You should have a page where we answer your questions so you know all about us and we can contact other fans of the insane domain.Have stuff about us because we are the important ones?
don't delude yourselves into thinking that this is about you in any way... this is about ME... but jcp is setting up a section for you self-absorbed freaks to share with others so just chill and focus on me until then

So why does the water taste like orange juice?
you keep adding oranges

So put your hands up if you like the taste of oranges?
sometimes i do but not right now

What food do you think has the nicest taste? Which person do you think tastes nicest?
raspberries are good... and that strawberry shortcake girl

Is it that time again?
yes it is i'm glad you mentioned it

Do you like to attach yourself to peoples legs and what for?
yes i do and to get my way

So whats a sexy monkey like you doing in a place like this?
hangin out waiting for the humans to die off

So would you blame me if I said no? Sally
no i wouldn't

How come some people aren't what you expect? Or do I have high expectations?
if you're like me, you expect people to have a certain amount of knowledge and intelligence... yet so few do... and sometimes you even lower your standards... then people just prove how they can't be trusted... so who needs them i'll just hang with my cranberry juice and cartoons

Can we blame it on Fido Dido then?
yes...

Are you a whiter shade of pale?
i don't think so

Whatever happened to Mr Green Jeans?
he fell in mud and became mr muddy ass

Whats zaboomafoo?
that thing that is on the end of that strange 

Whats the difference between there, their, and they're? And also the difference between hair, here, hear, hare, and heir? hmmmmm?
there is over there, their is theirs, and they're is they are... and hair in my soup is sick, here is where i am, hare is also sick in my soup or under my tires, and heir is what i vow to never produce

Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway??
i don't

How many people live in Newfoundland?
many people and a few stingrays

Why are life jackets orange? my god, arent they embarrassing enough?
they're quite stylish and it's so you don't accidentally grab your jacket when the boat starts sinking

Why do people think that all we Canadians do is sit around in our igloos, ice fishing, wearing rubber boots, and saying things like "eh" and "bys"? Don't you people know we are smarter than that?
yea but people like to live in their little fantasies like that one where i'm able to start saying how things should be and then everything is right and things can get back to normal

Combien des personnes habite a Canada?
about 35 million i think... something like that

Who do you think would win? Spawn or Preditor?
spawn but it would be a good fight to see

forgive me, but i wont be fustrated with destruction in your eyes, as your staring at the sun. it just gets moer and more badgers? - Fido Dido
i don't like badgers... 

Why did sally step on my duck and steal my camel? and what should i do to her as far as vengeance is concerned? -Fancy Fork Flinger.
she hates you and i think that you should force her to take 400 bucks from you a week... that will show her

now, here are three pages of the letter "a": [section omitted] instead, i bring you this: jump bitch? - Fido Dido
are all the words i'm speaking familiar to you?

wha...? did he just...? how the...? humans arent meant to do that... are they...? personally i would just use the door... but, if i could do that... well, wouldnt you...? its just a day in the life... - Fido Dido
i've seen it done but haven't tried it myself

is writing all over your hands up to the elbow normal? - Fido Dido
as long as what you're writing isn't religous

the taste in my mouth is nothing compared to getting your head stuck in a letter box. do you watch trigger happy tv? its a bit like the tom green show, except, its actually funny. - Fido Dido
i've never heard of that show before but i'll see if we have it here

are you really a horny sock puppet?
really

you shouldnt call peoples questions patheitc even if they are because you might make them cry
if people are crying because i was mean to them then they should get the hell off my site and learn to cope with reality or rip open their wrists in a bathtub of warm water... oh... that wasn't very nice was it?

where did all the calls go on my caller id?
they became anonymous and ran off into the night

whats a cat fucker?
someone who creates sculptures out of flour and koolaid

does satan live next to you?
no... above me torturing me every damn day

will all my questions go on the internet?ps.i know where u live hehehehehehehahahahahamuwhhahahaamuwhahahahahaloser
i don't think all would... and i know where you live too... you live above me don't you

are you a dumbass ?
not usually

am i wasting your time?
not yet

does tyler or chris like me better?not like you would know
tyler

ToeJam and Earl are great aren't they? - Mzebonga
during the week they are

y wont i get one?y should i care? and whats this site about?
this site is about sunshine lollypops and hillbilly music

will you please stop that?
nooooooo

Hey DC..Maybe they made a mistake when they called Iceland Iceland, and Greenland Greenland? Yea I think they did..They were high. Right? Please say yes, this is the only way I can contain myself.Im so confused I lose sleep at night.
they were drunk from fermented fish wine

DC..Is there anyway I can get a flight out to Godthab? I'll send you pictures once I get out there. Okay? I Love you.
um ok then

DC your great. I think that I'm in love with you. Let's get married,ok? I think it'll be great.
no i don't want to get married you can go away now after you send me your money

hehe your so silly! you have two different shoes on. Why?
cuz they match

Why are you soooooo cute????
it's my tail and charming smile

do u hate mi?
mostly but not completely

why is everyone so nive and immature ?
that's the way they're raised to be

why does jamie have constant crusts on his arse???
he doesn't clean very often

why do my balls hurt so much when i watch Jerry Springer???
stop watching jerry springer and you'll find that life is much less painful

How come ducks aren't all they're cracked up to be? I saw you have sex with that duck, it must have pretty good otherwise you wouldn't have done it right? Sally
they just aren't and you have no proof

So why does everything have to be about you ,you ,you ? Sally
because this is MY bit of the site

So if your a horny sock puppet then why?
because i'm horny...

So what if when you shrink heads and cover them in chocolate and gave them to someone they go "oh these taste nice and I like he taste of people" what would you do? Sally
i would smile and say 'that's why i made them for you'

Can you give me some hands on training?Vannilla Sky
sure

ARe there actual feet inside your boots?JellyFishToast
i'm not telling you

I jes think that in this crazy world the best thing would be a sock monkey centerfold in playboy. Do you agree? JellyFishToast
absolutely... email them right now and request it

Do you know voodoo? DOes it really work? Ow ok maybe it does bastard! JellyFishToast
well i tried it a few times... oh... sorry about that

Isnt fantomas the shit? JellyFishToast
yes they are

do sock monkeys masturbate? JellyFishtoast
every day

One final question.... since the age of 18 i have been going through my old school shit, i found a buncha old macoroni necklaces if i eat them will i die? JellyFishToast ps if a sock monkey eats them will he die cuz i know the infrastructures are completley different
you should be able to eat them without dying but then again i could be lying

what do you think about the string theory? do you believe it? what book do you think is better the naked ape or a brief history of time(by stephen hawking) marissa
i have only read a brief history of time ... but send me the other book and i'll let you know which one i liked best

if people act patriotic in america, what do people in canada act like...?
we act like ourselves i suppose

One time in the middle of July I found a dead muskrat by the side of the road, so I brought it home and wrapped it, and gave it as a gift to my friend. Unfortunately, the muskrat decomposed before Christmas and I was unable to give my friend the said gift. What should I do to overcome rotting mammals in the future?
keep them in a freezer... you may wish to purchase a large one to store in your garage or bedroom

you ain't all that and a bag of potato chips! are you?
i only had a few chips

I found this website - http://www.meowmix.com/splash.asp this very scary I think the cats are planning to conquer.
i think that this is just strange... i still want a copy of that commercial where the cats are all dancing around to dance music in different colors

okay I tried that picking butt thing but the pics didn't come out all to well so ANY WAY...what is your opinion of rednecks/hillbillies/hicks?~~Idiot Destroyer
i think that many of them annoy me... and keep trying to get those pictures

should i break up with robert
right away

why are you a monkie
that's just the way it is

you know those little pics of people on milk cartons, why do they talk to me when i am sleeping and then i wake up in the mourning with stiky white shit in my bed and all over me??? P.S. Ryan Smyth is an arse fucking son of a bithch and what can we do to solve his problem of fucking 99 year old men up the arse hole???
they talk to you? all they do is make faces at me... and i don't see the problem if the 99 year old man likes that sorta thing... just as long as i don't have to witness or participate in it

will you pull my dick for me in my grandpa's bed
only if you give me lots of money and you're grandpa isn't around

How can you say ducks aren't great? I'm going to be a duck in my next life and I will lead the ducks to their own babylon, where stupid people throw them bread all day long. - Mzebonga
sounds like a worthy cause... but i'd clear it with the cats first

Can I get Nigel to piss in your face? - Mzebonga
no... get him to piss on santa... or on some sausages... or a copy of 'Annie' the movie... or maybe on my couch

is Kyle's mom a bitch? - Mzebonga
the biggest bitch i've ever known

you know those little worm things that come out all the holes in your body when you drink the water from third world countrys (and i mean every hole).............are they my biological father???
yes they are... i'm glad your parents left it for me to tell you...

yeah hi DC,im the dude with the question bout those worm things coming out all the holes in your body......why does the cat next door look at me when im in a room with no one or nothing in it????im freaking out!!!!!
the cat likes your worms and is probably plotting something evil

why did those sock monkeys rape me when i was passing through the jungle???and why was there blood on the temple? P.S,write something funny for once,you underpaid shit shovellin sherrif
they did that because you were passing through their territory of the jungle... since this was a tribe that celebrates the "Swinkyr" goddess, that area you were on was considered sacred and since you were in the sacred space they were offended and therefore had to rape you to properly punish you for your deeds and to appease the goddess so that she wouldn't become enraged and cause all of the tribes tails to drop off... and i don't have to write anything funny if i don't want to

i know your a sock and all and i had a sexual encounter with my gym sock,was that sock your uncle????
it could have been... i do have a slutty uncle gym sock...

wat coulor will a smurf go if i choke the little fucker? ph and 4 me say fuk fukity fukin pissin slutten shitty shit shitems .......thanks mate
it turns purple... and i did

u would die if i used u as a sock ahahahaha
not really but i'll just smile and nod at you

i reckon if i plant u in the ground u will reavolve into a even uglier little cunt
well you reckoned wrong but don't let the joy of you having a thought be overshadowed by this

DC!! Merry christmas! Please, will you come home for the Holidays?? Love you, Grandma
keep your xmas bullshit to yourself

What's your favorite scent?
cinnamon

damn the commercialisd christmas! is there any thing we can do? - Fido Dido
deny it... don't buy expensive gifts... don't buy gifts for those who bought you one because you feel you have to... lock yourself in your basement or closet and cover your ears with your pillow until those fucking blinking xmas lights finally stop and get taken down

DC, y don't u like Christmas?? U get loadsa presents and constant boozing and smoking for more or less a whole week...whats wrong with u??? - Gooner
i don't like how i'm expected to buy stuff for others... i don't want stuff from others to celebrate some religous bullshit... i like the week off to party... but when it's with family then i'll choose no...

DC, have u seen those 'Digital TV' ads in England? They have a very funny man called Johnny Vegus on and another sock monkey called...Monkey!! Is he a relation of yours? He is very funny...u shuld meet him and get pissed for xmas! - Gooner
no i haven't heard of that and it could be my distant cousin fred... i'll have to find out for sure

Why is Marijuana illegal in the states
they make it illegal because they want everyone to smoke cigarettes instead

Are monkeys generally clean?
it depends on the monkey really...

when will the movie "waking life" be out on video?
it depends on who you believe... i personally believe the frogs

what do you think is the best way to let the world know that organised religion is the fastest easiest way to brainwash people, and the most dangerous weapon of war and hate in the hands of so-called servants of god? why do people strive to follow and be led by a figure head that serves to submits followers to a life of submission and fear? how can poeple be soo frikken blind and stupid
people like to have something to blame for everything in their lives, and avoid responsibility for their actions... humans are bred stupid... what other species could possible take a message of 'love' and twist it into a bloodbath that lasts over 2000 years?

Right now, there are seven cats in my lounge...they are disgusing world domination...I have had either the choice to be their loyal minion, or to sacrafice myself to Lord Fluffy..I have questions that I need answered rapidly... Is their anyway of hiding from these multicellular organisms? And who the fuck is Lord Fluffy...? Is he their leader? Or just the leader of this one colony..?
no you can't hide, and lord fluffy is just a made up character like santa claus so the cats can laugh at you and torture you if you choose to go with it... so just become their servant and abandon all independent thoughts you may have

merry boxing day DC. boxing day has got to be the best day of the entire year. its when the xmas hype and bullshit are finally over, and its the furthest day away from having to do it all again. plus the fridge is full of food! whatd you think? -frazicus
i think that it's all crap and the only good thing about xmas this year was the lava lamp i got

But people want to see Nigel piss in your face. You know you're the people's bitch so why don't you just do as you're told? - Mzebonga
how about i get to piss in your face, then nigels? don't forget to open your mouth

So did you end up getting that cheque from witto for that gibberish question?
no i didn't i was ripped off

You just want us to wear socks in here so you don't have to see our feet?
yes that's true... 

So if you have bad manners people don't care?
people do care so be polite

So do you think Joanna,the on who cant spell,keglineq,suzi and witto are friends or all know each other? They are odd in some ways.
some of them do know each other off the internet from what i've gathered

And sometimes you push the daises?
i stomp on them

So can drunken sailors fuck in green jello on a sunday?
no, only red jello on sundays

What were you like in kindergarten? Did you kiss the girls and make them cry?
i made everyone cry for various reasons but when monster went to the zoo then everyone had a grand old time

Yes just go,I've had enough of your shananigans?
exactly

Is it okay to like a song that sucks, just because it gives you memories?
you can like whatever song you want but to hide the suckyness of the song then i suggest you listen to it on headphones so others aren't forced to endure the stupidity

Is it my turn yet?
nope

Do you believe in Love?
it's just a myth

What is a KachupaTreaker?
i'm not sure but i think i sat on one the other day

What in the hell is sex and what's the big hype about it?
come over here and pay me to show

i have recently seen "Cats and dogs". how did the dogs manage to get hold of such confidential information? or is a conspiracy, or a clever plan designed by The Cats in order that the dogs should think that they hold the upper hand? or is it just a film? mayhaps our masters, The Cats, could use some of the ideas portrayed in the "film"? the film seems to portray a rogue Cat, who is not in communication with the Council of Cats. has this rebel been dealt with? should i get out more? All praise the Almighty Cats! - Fido Dido
i haven't seen that movie... so i'll deny everything

you gave me a good question award but you didnt answer my question. ""dammit... janet...." why is this so? why is it not "bugger.... shugger..." or even "shit... kit..."?" answer it dammit. - Fido Dido
shame is kinda like ham but with extra letters

If my neighbor insists on playing Who Let The Dogs Out at max volume at three in the morning, is it appropriate to kick his door in and stab him in the face with a coat hanger?
yes it is and make sure you take out the stereo before the cops drag you away

What the hell is wrong with people in Florida?
its the white pants

What's it like when they put you in the clothes dryer? Or do they never wash you?
i wash myself and it's some great fun

Merry...Christmas? What is this "Christmas" that I hear many speak of?
it's bullshit so don't fall for it... run away...

Let's get together...yeah, yeah.....yeah?
nooooo way and i never fell for that whole 'twins' thing

Do you like this question? Does this question intrigue you greatly?
not really... and no i won't fake it

What's your favorite Jelly Belly? Mine is definitely Juicy Pear. My second favorite is Watermelon.
i have never had one before... i assume this 'jelly belly' is a creature for me to hunt down with my truck and then eat its carcass off the tires? how do i know which flavor is which?

The pink flamingo in my back yard keeps twitching. Is it me?
only if you are a pink flamingo in front of a mirror... perhaps you should give it a sweater

Does my ass look big in this?
yes... it looks fucking HUGE and i'm horribly offended

ARE YOU TRYING TO MESS WITH MY MIND? THE date says the 27th yet it is the 26th, ya know the day after Christmas...okay well it's bad enough I don't understand much but then you go and do that to me....why? why? why? oh and is it a good thing to start a fire in the road and then sit on it or drive a car or bike over it? It was fun until the car blew up...~~IDiot Destroyer
yes i am and i am in a different time zone then you or am i even on the same planet? and they were all talking about fucking on a train but they were strangers and they all pant and stuff and i'm wondering what's going on and then its suddenly all over and then now she's a hooker

AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!... uh, what? Oh yeah, hey DC, do you know how to make mustard? -gone postal
no i don't... 

hi, please give me ans my quse my wife have very small asshole, i want assfucking with her ,my dick not gown into her asshole because, she have very tity and small asshole, what can i do? can u help me?
i say you take up knitting... it will solve all your problems

how many women have you had sex with?-will
due to various legal paperwork i have signed, i can not reveal that information

My cat had a worm crawled up its ass. How do you think it felt?-will
the only way to truly find out is to find a worm and let it crawl up your ass... send pictures

How do you ask out a girl who you don't know if she likes you or no?-will
you ask her

many people say that im gay. what do you think?-will
i think that it doesn't matter what they think so you just enjoy wearing those ballgowns with pride

I want Brittney spears to have sex with me. What about you?-will
no i demand women with brains

What's your favorite Pink Floyd song?
empty spaces (the video version)... or waiting for the worms

I need some help. I don't get it, ...I mean...Britney Spears...what the fuck?
there is NOTHING to get... next subject

can i burn cds off this site
sure but i don't think it will fill a cd... only jcp has enough of it to fill a cd... she has ALL the old versions of the site plus all the stuff that was ever online but isn't anymore... 

I have 2 friends that are stoned, one thats sick, and one thats giving free head shots, so what should i do? -LubisKo
steer clear of the sick one, take the head shots... send pictures

OK, should i slap my bitch's, pimp my hoes, drink my 40, or take a hit from this big 'ol blut? -LubisKo
drink your 40 and take a hit... requires the least amount of work with the greatest amount of enjoyment

Can I send you a pic of one of my blonde hoes naked on the hood of my truck with a candy cane in her twat? -LubisKo
hmmmmmm....

Who gives better head, DC or SAnimal? -LubisKo
me as sanimal is better at sucking ASS

What do I if I lose my straw in my 40? -WilinKo
a straw does not belong in a 40

If I can stick a Full Two Liter in my pussy, and pull it out empty what does that mean?-Taz
it means you can do something most women don't even attempt

If i can stick 4 dicks in my mouth at once does that mean im a nympho?-Broodly
it means you have a big mouth or those 4 dicks are small

Why don't you all just fuck off and die? - Mzebonga
we're working on it

If you could cut off any part of my body, what would it be? What part of Sally's body would you choose to cut off? Would you do like the freaky toys in Toy Story and try to tape the seperate parts of me and Sally back together in some weird perverse way? - Mzebonga
whatever makes sperm but doesn't stop me from having sex... i would cut off an inch of her hair so she wouldn't slice off my head with her well sharpened hairdresser scissors... i would like to melt all those stupid toys... but yes that sounds like fun too

What happens if I press this big red button with the words "WARNING! DO NOT PRESS BUTTON OR BUILDING WITH SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST" written above it? - Mzebonga
nothing much... but whatever you do... do not hit the DO NOT PANIC button

how can we? - Fido Dido
i ask myself that every day but then coffee distracts me

do you think the gunslinger will ever find the dark tower?- marissa
you know i've been wondering for years but damnit if he doesn't then why tease us with the whole thing to begin with??? that damn train is NOTHING but a pain... 

why do all mic mac indians have no nuts?
i'm not sure maybe they didn't plant any?

How can you say that white pants are the problem with people in Florida? Don't most of the visitors to this site wear white pants... and shirts... and are kept under close supervision at all times? -gone postal
no no... visitors to this site have much better white pants and jackets then those in florida... we get to hug ourselves all the time with OUR jackets...  the peope in florida with their crappy white pants and non-hugging jackets suck

OK, I just found out that my friends mom use to be a Hooker, knowing this, what should I do? -LubisKo
well since she USED to be a hooker, you will have to pay someone else's mother who IS a hooker to fuck you

I have a friend named Blowjob Bre, would you like to meat her? -LubisKo
maybe later... i'm not feeling so good today

Do you like the music of the following: ICP/Twiztid/Marz/Blaze/Slipknot/KiTTiY/Disterbed/Drowning Pool/Pink Floyd/Darklotus/ and do you HATE eminem aka Slimanus? -LubisKo
some songs, don't know them, don't know them, don't know them, they were ok and now its over, heard a few cool songs, haven't heard of them, don't know them, yes pink floyd is alright, don't know them... and i can't say i've heard any eminem but i'm sure i'd hate it

Whats the best way to kill a blonde that is too mouthy and cant give head good enough to make up for it? -LubisKo
killing is too much work... just throw some tinfoil at her and that should distract her long enough for you to leave

Do you think it is wrong to say "God Damn"? -Broodly
in most situations... no

I fucked a goat and got herpes, what barnyrad animal should I fuck next? --Chris
a rooster

What is your favorit flavor of lungbutter? -LubisKo
none i prefer pickles

I killed someone with a screwdriver last week and i brough his corpse to a butcher friend of mine and he took care of it. Now, my question is, would you like a steak or ribs? -LubisKo
well i'm a vegetarian but just this once... steak

Do you do bootycalls? -The Flamein' Slimanus
depends on who's calling

i got this bad ass pic to send you BUT i can find any please to send it at your site, how can i send it to you? -LubisKo
go to here and fill out the form... someone will contact you and tell you how to send it in

okay you claim to live in Canada...but I'm thinking that most likely that you're from the east coast because not many people live on the western side of the country...and since I live on the east side (or that's what everyone tells me?!?) it is near impossible for you to be in adiferent time zone, eh?
well we drive around in a funky van and solve mysteries so we're in different time zones all the time... 

is it that hard? if any one is from another plane it should be ME because I could then create my own government where fuzzy lumpkins and frogs rule and and weasel die...do you think weasel's deserve to die? would you like for me to tell you why? and would you think my government would be an improvement from one's we have now? ~~~Idiot Destroyer
yes it would be an improvement however i don't think weasels should be prosecuted

are you a fucking shit head
sometimes yes

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
my tail looks like a large worm and they all want a piece of it

Everytime I have company at my house, my cat goes crazy and claws everyone in the crotch. What should I do?
stop having people over or find people that your cat likes

Everytime I sleep I wake up screaming "SON OF A BITCH!" What can I do to encourage this activity in others?
kick them while they are asleep and then slap them awake

Did you know that that guy on TV, y'know the skinny guy, did you know he's a complete fuckwit?
yes i do...

I like my hot dogs smothered in mayonaisse. What do you think about this, smart ass?
i think that you can have your stupid hot dog anyway you want it

how i can make big asshole my little asshole's wife?
i'm not sure what you're getting at but i recommend table syrup

a lot of people seem to regard 40's as cheap shit, and normal beer as being superior. personally, i like them, because you get fucked up faster, piss less, and don't get as big a beer belly as those who drink a lot of normal beer to achieve the same effect. what do you think? -seth
i think that the only reason to drink is to get drunk so the quickest route with the least amount of effort and recovery time would be preferred... however some people just want to feel all cool by having to drink twice as much to get drunk so they can impress their friends

my wife not like assfucking but i want and like assfuckig, how can my wife agree to do this?
well if she doesn't like it then too bad for you, maybe you can find someone else to fuck up the ass

my wife have pain in her asshole because it is little, what can i do help me?
well i would start with stop asking me about your wife and her asshole because i'll never see it so i don't care

Do you think the word aubergine or egglant is appropriate for the vegetable?
neither really... but if forced to choose i'd say eggplant because it's easier to spell

Why do they can spam?
if they didn't then it would gain self-awareness and take over the planet within days

I know this inbred redneck janitor named Lenny. Every time I see him, he does something to piss me off. What should I do about him?
avoid him at all costs, piss in h is mop bucket, shove him down some stairs

okay now?
i feel better but not perfect yet

can I make a wig out of worms? will you fund it?
yes you can and no i can't... but send pictures

why am i so fat?
i blame your fridge or your shoes... it could just be those pants though

why does my mom feed me lard?
she hates you and wants you dead

johnny was a weirdo, so what did you expect. i aint no fucking hero, i'm just trying to survive myself. what the fuck? - Fido Dido
johnny came over and when he left he said he'd call before he came back but he didn't call and didn't come back so what the fuck?

why is it that when? i start questions, but i cant? seem to think of a question? and so just put question marks? in odd places? - Fido Dido
time to eat more sugar, have more coffee, crank the music and start trying harder

what is the purpose of noodles? ¡¿noodles?! - Fido Dido
if you have to ask then you're not using them properly... for now just concentrate on making me a castle made from raw noodles

A day or two ago i could not access this site and it caused me great pain, the stupid browser said it didn't exist. why couldn't i access the insane domain? -Fancy Fork Flinger
well our server was being worked on and there a bit of a problem but its ok now and so send us money so we can afford our own server

I just found my girlfriend in bed with my iguana. What sort of therapy does the iguana need?
nothing... you have no choice but to shoot it in the head

I got this big boil on my ass. Every time I sit down I'm like "Ow, My Ass!" Would you kiss it and make it better?
no i won't... and i recommend not sitting down for awhile

Do you like my big tits?
only if they're real, not caused by you being horribly overweight or having kids and not all hanging to your knees

Is it ever okay to sucker punch a nun?
yes it is

a friend of mine, honest , wants to know if she could be inseminated by dc...what do you have to tell her?
no way... i refuse to breed

What do you think about the Talirag and there bullshit cause? And what do you think we should do with the rest of them? What punishment should we give Osama Bin Ladin? I think they should send him to every prison and every cell in America!!!! What do you think
i think that all humans are bullshit... i think that we should sterilize EVERYONE on the planet and that should solve a lot of problems

speaking of beer, dc, the indian dude at the convenience store in the ghetto will sell beer to underage kids. he never, ever cards, unless they give him shit or look under 17 years old. is this bad or good?
it is bad for him if he's caught, bad if he sells it to them and they kill people while drinking and driving... but other then that it's all good

coffee. coffeeeee. coffeeeeeeeeeeee. mmmm.....extra "e"'s.... they make it taste better. sugar? - Fido Dido
yes.. i've had lots of coffee today lots lots lots lots lots

does the number twelve hold any significance with you? how about now? what does this shape suggest to you? - Fido Dido
not today... nope... and it suggests to me that rats aren't as friendly as they seem on tv

¿the who? - Fido Dido
the RATS i said

have you heard of bud dwyer? he was some big businessman who got caught embezzling, so at a press conference/resignation he pulled a .357 out of an envelope, put the gun in his mouth and blew his brains out. i have a video still of him with the gun in his mouth, just about to shoot. now, tell me, would it be in bad taste to print that picture on a shirt with something like "no hope" or "kill yourself" written under it? i mean, it's not like anyone would know for sure that the picture wasn't staged. what do you think? i know you hate links, but here's the link to the picture, at least for YOUR reference.
i'm sure some people would consider it bad taste... but i don't... so go ahead and send me one for free

I just wanted to wish you a happy new year and have a good one ,plus how can you have fun if you don't drink on new years??? Sally
there are many other ways... and there are always drunk little pillow cushions around to bring me joy

wha? rats? hmmm... patient needs treatment. i sugggest that people donate money to him. any questions? - Fido Dido
yes... when will this money begin arriving? can i have some lava lamps too?

where do i get flowers and herbs that will get you high?
at the corner store... hurry up and get them bitch

twelve monkeys wont hurt you. isnt that ironic? coincidently, i have seen only some of the film. will you beat Sanimal for me? ta. - Fido Dido
not that's not ironic... it's a good film... and gladly

Why do men have balls
to confuse the women

whats DC mean?
demon child

_/- -\_ <----robot _/- #\_ <----beaten up robot _/~~\_ <----angry robot._/* *\_ <----female robot. - Fido Dido
damnit fido that isn't a question

Would you like to be my atomic monkey of love?
yes i would actually

does the "dc" in your name stand for "disconnected"? as in internet slang?
absolutely

Have you ever hung from the rafters? If so, what do you do up there?
yes... and i swing around and one time i fell

I think Tony the Tiger is stalking me. The Trix rabbit is trying to steal my credit cards. And Count Chocula just stole my car. What should I do?
drown them all in milk till they are soggy and then flush them down the toilet

I just read the complete works of Shakespeare. I couldn't understand a word of it. What's it all about?
well sometimes people have the heads of different animals, there are creepy people on islands, some guy seeing ghosts, another guy fucking his mom... basically its just people doing soap opera things with more blood and killing

Did you ever wonder?
yes but then i forgot and i was all 'what was i thinking?' and then i tripped and fell but i was ok

Someone told me there's thousands of rats hiding in the walls on your room, DC. How are you going to fix this problem?
problem? i fail to see the problem... they are my army of darkness until the cats take over

What do you do about mallrats?
nothing because dave hasn't brought the dvd for me to see and i'm too lazy to go rent it

so then what did he do? - Fido Dido
well he lied and said he didn't do it but everyone at the table had seen him do it and so we just left

10...9...8...etc...1... Happy New Commercialised Year! what do you expect from this year? - Fido Dido
i expect bullshit and stupidity

my best friend who is famle and i, female as well, got really close one night and ever since have been closer then best friends. its been like this for a while...Recently she kissed my third cousin who is not female and now she wants to have her cake and eat it too. My question is, is it illegal or just immoral to get it on with your third cousin?
it's neither as long as you're both of legal age... but enough of that... where is this cake you speak of? i'd like some right now... send a piece over

what ARE you doing with that thing? put it away. - Fido Dido
but it was all lonely down there and i had to say hi to it and then i couldn't stop...

¡rats! - Fido dido
rats in the laundry

Hey DC, how did you celebrate the new bear, ear, or year or whatever its called? Did you get any Sock monkey ass?--Ted M. Berry
i hung out with friends in their house, then in their garage, then in their house, then in the garage again and then went home with some friends and stayed inside but did garage party fun and then no i didn't get any sock monkey ass

I have a bit of a problem. You see, I have been having some horrible stomach pains lately, and nothing I do seems to help. I don't even know what could have caused my stomach ache. I'm beginning to think it has something to do with a few days ago, when I ate some chopped liver from the corpse in my room. Any ideas?
i say chop up the rest of the corpse and eat it, but this time use some sauce

yo man some advice to for all the advice youve given me "chill out man you shouldnt sit on a computer all day and give little fuckers advice...........do sumfin for yourself dogg"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i sit at the computer most of the day but not answering these questions... but you should pay me to take a vacation

hey you bitch,im irish!!!!!!!why did you write that bullshit bout shootin an irish dude in the knee caps and watch him dance till he dies??? P.S look in your sock monkey i uhhh....ummm... spilt uhhhhh cake icing in it!!yes that'll do..... i love the way a sock rubs on my cock when im jerkin off wit a sock monkey!!!!!!!
if the irish dude is that lord of the dance guy then can't you just agree? and i love the way your cock rubs on me when you're jerking off with my face

if i choke a smurf to death....what coulor would he go???
i've had enough of this question

did she buy that stairway to heaven in the end? - Fido Dido
yes she did and it was a fake

hey. Can we have the first initial of your REAL name? We know a sock monkey isn't really running this page, so....
are you saying sock monkeys are too stupid to do this? i hope you choke on my tail

more questions? ye gads, you would o' thought some people would o' learned by now. dont just sitting there doing nowt. yeah... we could all do with a clean nose, couldnt we? - Fido Dido
clean noses make things much easier

what? where? how? when? why? no shit?
that, there, that way, now, not sure, that's what i said

as we are supposed to be asking hippo insane questions, do they hippo have to make sense? i mean, crunchy pavement on the ceiling? - Fido Dido
hippos have strange bodies and when their rotting carcasses are left out in the sun for awhile they puff up

IF I HAVE SOMETHING ON MY DICK THAT LOOKS LIKE COTTAGE CHEESE SHOULD I GET IT LOOKED AT
well scrape it off and taste it first... it could be cottage cheese

that guy in star trek is kinda stupid and i don't really like his hair... what other character do you reccomend watching? -takenaway
that guy with the strange ears or that chick are alright... try watching them instead

is it true that barking dogs are actually trying to tell us something? -takenaway
yes they are... damnit can't you understand?

if i paid you to come with me to a hotel, would you let me suck your tail for a few hours? i'll even let you tie me up -takenaway
sure

what do the voices say 2 u? do they tell u to hurt urself? -takenaway
sometimes they do but most times they tell me to do insane things like build castles out of noodles

have you ever tried using a candy cane during sex? -takenaway
i've thought of it but never actually done it... are you volunteering?

i was outside your window the other night and couldn't help but notice your sexy nipples. may i play with your nipples? -takenaway
yes but no pinching... well no hard pinching

what is the deal with the trips of insanity? -takenaway
basically we use it as our bookmark page and confuse you people

Why does my brain hurt when i lick my sock monkey's butt?
that's not your brain hurting... and stop licking my ass... you can lick my tail instead

Trips of insanity should relate to LSD, surely? - Mzebonga
not anymore

if our body is made up of 98% water then surely if we drink water it's cannibalism, is this true?-the on hoo cnt spel
so true... so drink up

Are you sure about this? You don't want to think it over first?
not tonite... let's just get it over with so i can go back to sleep

Every time I go over Phil's house they're always slamming each other's dicks in the door. And then they get drunk and molest clowns. What the hell is wrong with these people?
i blame their parents, tv shows like survivor and the usage of the word 'ensure' in various technical documents... the clown thing is ok though

Do you think it's alright to leave the boy with Uncle Ernie? Do you think it's alright, he's had a few too many tonight, do you think it's alright?
well probably but just to be sure i say you tie them both up so they can't move

my robot question was a question! you just have to figure it out... do you need help with it? - Fido Dido
no i'm choosing to ignore you, your question, your whole existence, your family, your pets, your socks, your garbage from last year, your ability to deceive and lie, and most of all... that thing on your desk... can i touch it?

Whats that, a peanut? oh..can I eat it now?
not it's not but sure... and tell me what it tastes like

hey whats your favorite food?
free food that doesn't contain meat or chemicals

DC, I have the biggest crush on you. Your so funny. Will you marry me?
no i don't want to get married but you can come rub my tail and shower me with gifts if you'd like

im feeelin t he see beneath me, beneath you..white sand beneth my feet no brain between my ears?
exactly

whats your favorite animal besides sock monkies?
felines... they rock

You talk about your cat a lot..Whats his/her name??
her name is ana... short for anastasia

what do you think about people eating monkey brains and can I eat yours?
i think that people eat just about anything and no you may not until i'm dead

Did u ever have a fuck listening to the french anthem ?
not yet

So far you and SAnimal are level pegging in request to get pissed on. How does that make you feel? - Mzebonga
i think that him and i should piss on your face... but then i'd slip and piss on him too... and what is this unhealthy obsession with pissing on people about? i mean really.. just because it's all warm and free...

I move into my new house in 2 weeks are you happy for me? I'm over the moon about the whole situation myself.
yes i am... so when will you be inviting us all over for a party?

if monkeys could fly where would they go?
they can fly and i can't tell you

Why do they steralize lethal injection needles?
damnit i've already answered this at least twice.... my answer for the last time was/is "This is due to the misconception that if germs are on the needle, that the person will come back to life and kill everyone.  Sure, a few times this has happened, but it's not the norm."

Do you like to smoke weed?
like isn't the right word for it exactly

Day and night I'm haunted by visions of George Burns chasing me with a chainsaw. What's wrong with me?
something very very wrong... i say you jump off a bridge or seek strong drugs

Do you like Pagans better than Christians (I mean the really faggoty Jesus-humping Christians) ?
usually yes... except those that claim to be all 'chemical free' and 'organic' as they suck on a cigarette

Do you like my tongue?
not really but if you put it to good use then sure

I have a sock that wants to become a puppet. What advice should I give it?
give it your hand up it's ass and fulfill it's dream

My fiancee wants to have a baby. What's the best position to conceive in?
i'm not telling you and instead strongly recommend NOT conceiving... in fact one of you should get fixed... work instead on improving yourselves... start a business... do anything but bring a brat into this already overpopulated world... it's the least you can do for humanity

What would you give me if I flash u my breasts?
a smile... maybe some candy

Can I spank your monkey?
yes

Do you want to go skinny dipping in my neighbors hottub? Can my boyfriend come too?
i'm not in the mood for either

My mother calls me all the time, and acts like she hasn't talked to me at all. Do you think she has too much time on her hands? what would you do?
yes she does and i would start talking about things your mother doesn't want to hear about so she stops phoning... perhaps fake your death while on a cell phone... pretend that her phoning and distracting you made you drive into something and die screaming

Do you like the young ones?
no i prefer old cheese as it's nippier

I want to start my own business, but are unsure of what I want to do, got any suggestions?
i say you make a business of paying me to start MY own biz

When is SAnimal going to update?
how the hell would i know... there probably aren't any questions for him to answer because he sucks

I'm going to join this quiz game show for students on TV on Monday. What cocky remark can I tell the game show host when he asks how I'm doing?
just stare at him blankly... never answer them because they are just there to mess with your mind

You do realise that if we all just stop procreating, that there won't be enough youngsters to pay pensions to the old people and the state will crash and everyone will starve and die and no one will be around to stroke oyur tail? Before you wipe us out, wouldn't it be better to start a self-sufficient commune to ensure a continued tail-stroking slaves? - Mzebonga
i can do without tail stroking if it means all you humans go away

I think you need a holiday? Sally
yes i do... will you pay for one for me?

I can't be creative dammit your asking too much from me?
i know you can... go on

Sometimes do you lie to get yourself out of a situation?
yes i do but you will never prove it

I was just directed to a messageboard (by my dumbass friend) in which people discuss how they smoke heavily during their pregnancy and how they teach their 2 year olds to smoke and force them to learn. Isn't that disgusting? I despise humans more and more each day..I too am a sockmonkey, a female striped one. Are you intrigued?
quite intrigued... tell me more about this anti-human ideas of yours

ok, you can touch it. just the once, mind. how does it feel? - Fido Dido
kinda bumpy

actually, what IS that thing? it wasnt there this morning... did someone leave the window open? mayhaps it crawled in through there? someone fetch a broom... there! it moved! dammit, call pest control. what the feck is it? my goosh! thats not natural! argh! my foot! dammit, its stolen my foot! someone chase after it! argh! how does it move so fast? - Fido Dido
it has superthingy powers that will daze and confuse us all so it can steal our socks

twelve. how ironic. oh no, wait. it isnt. is it? - Fido Dido
no not really

the letter "a" isnt actually all that interesting. oh, yeah, i mean, you can use it in alot of words, but you can live without it. i men, i'm mnging perfectly without it now, rnt i? tke the rbins, now. or hindus. they mnge without it, lright, dont they? dmittdly they hve different lphbet, but, eh, wht you gonn do bout it? wht is your view on this whole "a" thing? - Fido Dido
i say down with a's and up with r's

hey,do you know where my cats belly button is?
right there

lam e'rotique, vous savez que vous.volonte' vous baisez-moi?
um i don't speak that language

Do you feel threatened by Ed the Sock? McDiablo
not lately but when he gets going sometimes my tail starts to quiver in fear... it would be a grand fight though

how do u french kiss?
with ketchup

what's the most disturbing thing you've ever seen? -seth
well i stumbled across a brittney spears concert on tv once and saw 4 seconds of it.. and one other time i saw a video where people were shooting an elephant cuz it went crazy

I heard all sock puppets are evil. Is this true? - BrainLiquor
well sometimes that is quite true... but other times its a throwback to the old 'untrustful' times

Does SAnimal have some sort of social disorder? What the hell's going on? - BrainLiquor
yes he sucks and he's lazy

¡our socks! call the cops! call the army! call the air force! this thing must be stopped at all costs! our very socks are threatened! can i sleep in your bomb shelter tonight? - Fido Dido
yes you may but no petting the bombs

really? i didnt know that. mayhaps, way back in my head i did know. this is not a question? do you think that my question mark moved - Fido Dido
i think that your question mark should have come with a good question... 

Who is the more evil, Santa or Britney Spears? If you could kill only one of them, which one would it be? -gone postal

if youre driving down the road in your canoe and a wheel falls off, how many monkeys can you fit in a barn?
12... there are always 12 monkeys who can do it... and they WILL do it

If you hate Christmas so much why do you were green and red socks with bells on them damnit!?
my mother made them for me... and if i didn't wear them then i'd never hear the end of it... plus feet are ugly and should always be hidden under socks

i threw sand in my moms face and she got really mad and shot me in the arm why? and should i kill her?
i would recommend not throwing sand in your mothers face... after that perhaps you two should try doing puzzle together... that always helps relationships

I shot the sheriff but i did not shot the deputy is theis ok?
yes it is

i was playing video games and one of the charactors asked me to stop because he was getting tired of running around in circles... am i crazy?
no... and stop making him run around in circles then...

i was up late crying my self to sleep (like every night) when a ghost boy ran ito my room and screamed "HOOBYDOOKABY" and punched me in the nose what should i do?
you should stop crying, get some new bed sheets, take a shower, get a job, make some money and send the money to me

Can i eat poop?
yes... go right ahead

should i try to fly?
try from your roof... it works better that way

Do you beleive i can fly? Do you belive i can touch the sky?
yes and no

why don't i have a boy friend?
you are not interesting enough... read this whole site twice and then you'll find a boyfriend

why is the sky blue?
i think it has something to do with light refracting off of water particles or something but i'm not sure anymore

what is my name?
georgie

have you given up on the forum? - Fido Dido
utterly and completely... damn programmers... but we're looking into getting one of them free ones or something

dammit. someones nicked my question. tell them to give it back. now i dont have a question to ask. i will be told off. dammit. just please bare in mind that someone nicked my question, and ran off with it, it wasnt my fault - Fido Dido
well i am outraged that someone would just come along and nick your question... i demand a full investigation

Should we all become hermits to escape the stupidity of human kind?
yes

Are you a playah or a killah?? McDiablo
i'm a rulah of insanity

what do you do when you and your freind innocently found some semtex, and it fell out of your hand, onto a timer and dentonator, and then fell onto the president of the usa's car, and then you fell over and pressed the button, and then you killed the president, and the FBI and CIA and everyone is after you, and you hide out in a cave somewhere in the mountains, and you ask a sockmonkey for help? please hurry, i can hear the helicopters. - Fido Dido
i recommend pretending to be a rock until everyone goes away... then sell your story to a bunch of newspapers

the voices in my head tell me to shout things at people. nasty things. horrible things. and i did. the nice people at the asylum let me use the computer once a day. narf. how can i break out of here? - Fido Dido
listen to the voices... they will tell you what to do when the time is right... save all the salt you can until then

when do u get ur peiod?
when monkeys fly home for the weekends

what are some differnt ways i a male can masterbate at home
i highly recommend doing it in your room if you  have a lock on the door... however any room that isn't your sisters or parents and has a lock on it is good

What is a hemmeroid?
i'm not sure exactly but it involves people's asses and pain... that's all i care to know for now

Can you tell me how to get in touch with the box fairy??? MIss Roger's Sweater
well the box fairy checks email about once a week... so if you need a quicker reply then i'd suggest calling

How can you? What were you thinking? What's your father going to say when he gets home? Why, why, why?
it seemed like a good idea at the time

I'm hungry. What's in your fridge? - BrainLiquor
old pizza, moldy cheese, date cookies, empty bottle of gingerale, rotting onions and tomato sauce

I accidentally ran over my girlfriends cat. Should I care? - BrainLiquor
yes, but only for running over the cat... ignore the girl

Who would win in a street between Tom Daschle and Benny Hill? - BrainLiquor
that little girl from down the street... she'd mop the floor with tom and benny

I meant to say street fight in that last question, can you forgive me? - BrainLiquor
no i can't and you've ruined everything

whats your opinion on rebellious green tree sankes?
well in some cases i understand and can relate to their cause, but more and more i'm finding that they're just doing it to be annoying and not actually rebelling for any reason at all

ok, lets pretend for a minute that you actually care. i was wondering...where exactly do relationships go? do they get on a train? do they walk there? do they ever get to where theyre going? and why did they want to leave in the first place? the only answer ive managed to come up with so far is that "relationships go to Canberra". why there, i dont know. its not exactly the most pituresque area of australia. if you can expand on this theory, id be much appreciated.
they go the way life goes... it just goes till it's done and then everyone forgets about it after awhile... the whole 'canberra' thing is just to distract you long enough and perhaps boost the economy of the canberra people...

DC my cock is caught in a barb wire fence ive been out in this field for days and i have and extension lead going to a power point and a phone line,from my lap top,what do i do???
email for pizza, get a webcam going and after you generate enough traffic to charge people to see you then you'll be set for life

Yeah DC hows it going?thanks for your help,im the guy who asked you the question why my balls hurt so much when i watch "The Jerry Springer Show"and now when im awake my balls really hurt,why?o and i also asked that question why does jamie stink so much and hes taken 20'000'000 baths with soap n all,we even dipped him in petrol and burnt him but he still stinks!!!why?Thanks DC,your a champion of insanity! :-)
if you just leave your balls alone or cut your nails every once in awhile then they won't hurt as much... and sometimes things & people just stink no matter what is done... unless you chop them into tiny pieces and shoot them into the sun

Ive been a bad boy.Will you give me a spanking?
sure but today i'd like to use a hockey stick instead of my hand

I have a huge homework assignment due In about 6 hours. Why am I sitting here wasting my time by asking you questions instead of doing it?
you have 'prioritized'... and yes that is that word that your parents seem to enjoy yelling at you... basically it means that you've accepted that school is a waste of time as all it does is delude you into thinking you'll have a future of some sort... so you have decided to spend your time 'researching' some of those people that seem to be as bitter and twisted as you and here you are at this site where you can finally fit in... well kinda

how long does formaldehyde stay in your system when u smoke it.
i don't know the answer but ask your couch

should i give up all hope? -seth
pretty much... i just don't have the energy to lie anymore

What does your name (DC) stand for?
it stands for demon child

is kermit the frog really just a piece of felt with a hand up his ass???
sadly enough... yes... but someday we'll find a way... the lovers the dreamers and me

why is my mate andrew (the fuck face of the year)have a thing for asians???
i think the question is 'why are you so against asians?'  perhaps you should take a good hard look inside and figure out why you carry such resentment

Why does my head hurt? - Mzebonga PS: You know I have to let Nigel piss on you so why are you resisting?
i refuse i resist... your head hurts because you know that having nigel piss on me instead of sanimal is WRONG

Is Britney Spears really a virgin? And whether she is or isn't, who cares? - Mzebonga
no one cares and if they do then they should be shot

If I asked you to rub my sexy body all over with an unopened can of spagetti-O's would you consider it sexual and demand great amounts of money?
i wouldn't consider it sexual and  yes, i always demand large amounts of money

what would you do?
i'd take the money and run

what kinds of peanuts do you like?
honey roasted ones... other then then i don't like eating them

i farted and now i can't poop what happened?
you did it wrong... start over

i tried to fly from my roof.....like you said i could but it didn't work...why is this?
you weren't trying hard enough... you have failed us all

who do i like
that freak with the blue stuff.. you know the one i'm talking about

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