aw, that's sweet of you,dc. you added me to the page. thank you. now, down to business- as a sockmonkey with no real orifices (orifi?) how do you fuck, shit, eat, pass gas, etc.?
like i said... the shit/gas just builds up until i explode... but i can eat and fuck all i want

Why is Fido Dido such an inbred little turd? Why does he accuse me of nicking his catchphrases and then go and ask a question about a "regulars page"? Doesn't he know that I had that idea before him? Is he really that stupid? - Mzebonga
this is beginning to sound like you two are actually in love and need to embrace your newfound relationship... and i think that we should all be invited to your first fucking so we can tape it and put it online here

I want Onions and Potatos if I'm ever going to conduct a good experiment. - Fergus O'dimbal
this isn't a question but you have my permission to perform these experiements... just tape it for us

Why is Mzebonga such a jerk and why is he so emotionally closed off? - Sophie
i'm not sure... why not go to his site and ask him directly? his link can be found here but you make sure you keep coming back here or i'll be forced to harm you with plastic straws

Can I be freed from my servitude? All I want now is to retire, find a pretty wife who has a deeply kinky BDSM streak and work in an office 9-5 for 75,000 a year. Is that too much to ask? - Mzebonga
yes that is too much to ask you ungrateful bitch... now get back to cleaning the kitty litter... mabye we'll let you go in a few months... maybe... and you don't want to work in an office... those cubicles are evil... EVIL

Exactly what part of my and Fido Dido's anatomies were you planning to sew together? - Mzebonga
i was thinking your thumbs and your noses and then somehow your lungs

am i on your mailing list? - Fido Dido
i think so... i'm not sure... in fact i don't even know what's going on with that

what is the secert of the lap-dancing sock monkey? - Fido Dido
well there is one but if i told you then i would ruin it now wouldn't i???

This sight is fucked up Y.
yes it is... because it is

magic get me fru, with magic money people always seem to walk fru you. cup of tea? - Fido Dido
i will have my tea with 3 sugars

why is it people die? and does a sock monkey ever die? Do you like watching cartoons?~~Fugly
people die so the planet doesn't becomve overpopulated... unformatnaley they're not dying quickly enough... yes sock monkeys can die... and yes i do enjoy watching cartoons

ho-hum-cows-bum. i tried to add u 2 my ICQ list, but i'm not sure if it worked. did it? i only got it today - Fido Dido
no it didn't... try again....

I've been coming to this site for a while now. I even got a bunch of people at school into it. So do I get a cookie?
yes you get a cookie... here you go

Hey Dexter. I need that report done and on my desk Monday morning or your fired, geek boy!!!
damnit

I was babysitting today. Two little kids, Michael and Jonathan. I thought "Why don't I be nice and get them a present?" So I went down to Kaybee Toystore and bought them a sock monkey. His name was Horro. I brought it to the kids and they tore him into little tiny pieces. Ripped off his little tail, his big red lips, his socky arms, and all! I just broke down and took Horro's remains and put them in an urn. Can I send them to you? Since you can proabaly give him a proper burrial.
kids are horrible little creatures so i suggest you do the same to them... and yes send me poor Horro

ever screwed any other species besides sock monkey?
human... couch... cracker... telarian... borg... drAors... shadowen... kychhn...

sometimes the fingle-hopper asks me questions about the sexual chocolates and the labors in everyday life. I don't know any of the answers... what should I do?
i reccomend insisting that you are a tree and if it continues to bother you then act like you've been hit by lighting and flee the area

Does a cats breath really smell like cat food?
sometimes yes... if they've just finished eating cat food though

Is zippy the spawn of Satan?
yes

have u ever thought of dying your fur purple??If not THEN WHY THE HELL NOT???
no i don't care much for purple... i've considered blue or black though

is it true that the ability to talk does not make you intelligent?
exactly... go outside and get the first person you see in a conversation... the odds are they are quite stupid

Shame on the people that buy pop music! Do you think an punishment of listening to continual Limp Bizkit music would help or is that just too cruel???
i think that we should sterlize everyone on the planet and then just wait until they all die off... that's cruel enough

Oh thats a bit much isn't it "Dc ruler of all" I mean who do you think you are? Vanilla Sky
i am DC... ruler of all!

Why do you think that you are a stuffed toy dammit?
who says i'm not? you're just one of those people that thinks that way

Nope,what the fuck? Mzebonga said I'm like a piece of the furniture here.What the fuck is that you won't get rid of me?I love Britney Spears now will you get rid of me? Sally
too bad you're staying on... nice try there sally... just because you're not asking good questions lately doesn't mean you get removed from the list... if that was the case then i'd be updating that stupid list constantly

How Can I Jeek IT WITH OUT A SMEAT?!
you can't

I need a good plan to blow up canada and kill all the canadians except the eskimos and maybe the caribu nah fuck the caribu but definatly save the eskimos eskimos are cool. got any ideas?
i day take out the americans first... they're the ones who smell funny... 

why is it that i like black clothing?
black clothing is good to wear... i wear mostly black clothing when i'm not running around naked

Wouldn't you agree that farts are the things that bind our society together? - Fergus O'dimbal
yes... that and nail files

i lost my phone at a bush concert a couple of years ago. where is it?
some teenybopper probably has it thinking that it was touched by a band member

1 4m 4 3l33t h4x0r! r35p3ct m3! is what i would say if i was really. but i'm not. am i? - Fido Dido
no you're not

do you like rap if u do go to <url omitted by DC>
no i don't so i'm not going

Chucky Lee is very short, but defies gravity. He's asian. Can I be Asian. -Janet Reno
yes you may, but not until you clean your room

Have you ever been to <religious url omitted by DC>? It's crazy days. Go there. -Janet Reno
no ... i have no reason to go there

The Zamboni that waxes my school floors is my Personal Jesus. Is this wrong?? -Janet Reno
no it isn't wrong... be sure to offer it water and the driver coffee

Savory syrup covered my ear, I turned around and there was a deer, peering at me... just peering at me...?! -Janet Reno
try gutting it and running around in it like tom green did

'SHOP NAKED'... Let's picture that, shall we? -Janet Reno
i always do my shopping naked

"Petting walls makes me feel smooth, smooth as gravy" This was said by Risa. Is she crazy? -Janet Reno
no... petting walls is comforting and has been known to lower blood pressure

We call our friend clarence clit.....he enjoys this.....he also seems to believe the vambonie machine is his personal Jesus. We are worried. Will electro-shock therapy help?...~Tygrmoth
no i won't help but give it a try anyways on yourself... clarence can be a clit and if he is then rub his head and see what happens

Why does Joey think its necessary to ask questions about chucky being short...They're both asian..therefore short.....~Chucky Lee fan
slap joey and everything will be fine

apple?
only the green ones

Do ants in france wear pants?
yes they do

why everbody so scarred and paranoid?
they have good reason to be... i mean take a look at all those stupid humans... how could one NOT be afraid

why? - God
why not

Why are there always drunken hobos at my door? They really reek.
that's not your door... they've been sleeping there long before you started... it's you who should leave

i hate time it moves so fast i wanna stay in now forever
this isn't a question but it would be better to be able to move through time as you wished

do you like Billy Corgan's new band, ZWAN?-adam
i wasn't aware of him being in another band... but hopefully it's true

why do people let their kids sit on santa's lap? its so wrong
the same reason they let them run around all the time screaming... they just don't care what goes on anymore

How do i stop garden gnomes from stealing swiss cheese from my fridge?
you can't... it's just one of those things you'll have to accept if you buy swiss cheese

hey DC. Do you smoke weed? Would you smoke a bowl with me?
isn't it obvious? and sure

Im only happy when it rains. Why?
cuz shirley manson said it and you want to BE her

are you so almighty, almighty DC? and if you are so almighty, why was it that i wasn't born with a tail!?
yes i am and you were born with a tail but they told you it was an arm cuz you were missing one

Why don't my neighbors ever take down their Christmas lights?
they are lazy and are DARING you to go unscrew each one and throw it at their house

Why do I have this uncontrolable urge to eat the books on display at the library?
cuz sometimes those pictures look so real you just want to shove them in your mouth and FEEL them

Where do babies come from?
from stupid people who only have IQ to fuck but not near enough to figure out how a condom works... and from even stupider people who think that they have to "leave something behind" besides all their garbage in the landfills

My name is Cassie. My friend's name is Susan. Here's a quiz for you. What's my brother's name?
your brother's name is bill... and the other's is trevor

RICE FOREVER, DAWG! DUB IT UP, YO!
not a question... you probably have clown hair and one leg rolled up on your pants... i mean what the hell is up with that? someone has to tell me because i have no clue what's going on with that... how stupid can kids get... well that takes the prize so far... is it from those who want to show off their socks? what kind of dumbass statement could this be besides 'please run me over because i obviously have nothing to contribute if i dress like this'

i was raped by aliens in junior high and they told me to go and do the same to everyone else that i meet... should i follow through with that or should i just do the chics ?
don't discriminate or be sexist... you do it to EVERYONE you meet, even those religious freaks on street corners

where can i find christmas songs to download

Why is it when you walk into a Krogers at 5 in the morning they feel the need to follow you around when all you need is some Ambasol becasue your teeth are killing you?-- Mistofflies
who is krogers and how do you fit in it without making it cry... and when your teeth hurt, you just reach in through the couch, grab the magic wand and wish it away

why do people say money talks when it quite obviously doesn't, i have only ever heard it hum. now walls, theyre a different matter, why do people say that its like talkin to a wall when i have found them to be excellent conversationalists (esp the one at the north of my house who is also a fan of 2nd hand chewing gum collecting)-the on hoo cnt spel
most people don't take the time to get to know the walls... instead they are dazzled by the money because of all the hidden things on it... the walls are indeed good conversationalists and more people should spend more time with theirs

how come i'm not on the cool ppl's list? i know i'm not that cool but you have to admit that i ask some good questions...? -keglineq
you may be on it soon... but now that you've want it maybe i'll wait longer

all my best friends are metal heads...but they're not really. what should i do? -keglineq
get them to become real metal heads and everything will be fine

why does A46 have an anti theft warning?
to scare off those who are trying to steal it... and to amuse the dolphins

If cheese has fleas, and tramps have ramps, what do armadillos have? Witto
strange amour

If I can't ask about photosynthesis, can I ask about an endoplasmic reticulem? Witto
no you can't...

What is an endoplasmic reticulem? Witto
i'm not telling you

If I break it, I pay. If you break it, you pay. Who pays if they just want to buy it? Witto
the air sprites and their wind money

Why did the chicken cross the road? Witto
to escape those who wanted to torture it to death then ship it to your table

Can I have blue and yellow socks on my sock monkey? Witto
yes you may... but only for the next two weeks

Why did Jill try to fix Jacks head with vinegar and brown paper? Why not a bandage? Witto
she was actually a demon sent there to kill jack

What useful purpose do drinking straws serve? Why not drink out of the glass? Witto
they are for children and stupid chicks who want to sip through it then act like they're all drunk

what could I do with a truck load of sock monkeys?
send it to me

I sent you Horro's remains! Im so depressed. What should I do? Im in love with you DC.
you should gather all your money and send it to me so that i can begin to start loving you

can I be your best friend?
no

why does Matt have a third knee? -Janet Reno
that's not his knee... he's happy to see you

Does having sex with Mayonaise cause crabs? -Janet Reno
i don't think so... but if it's miracle whip then it might be a bit tangy

I got smashed on listerine last night, and woke up naked in a cornfield next to naked grandma. Did I have sex with her?? -Janet Reno
only if it hurts a bit when you take a dump or go piss

Why is Mr. Mellor a drunk bastard? Was it the listerine? -Janet Reno
no it was the vodka and the trees

My friend Carly wears Panda vaginas. Is this wrong?? Are they synthetic? Do you want one?? I've got connections. -Janet Reno
it is wrong if they are real unless the pandas died naturally... no i don't want one

the jam has not yet run away? - Fido Dido
mine has... have you seen it? all i did was threaten it with bagels

is it possible to eat shit AND live?
i would think so but you have to wonder, what would it taste like and how would it look coming out again?

If daylight comes will i want to go home?-- Mistofflies
yes you will cuz it's day out

is it a bad idea to smoke weed before going to work? i work at a very slow fast food restaurant.
maybe the reason it's slow is because of you? but sure go ahead unless you drive yourself to work...

So whos your favourite ? Vanilla Sky
kate

Do you need some weed to set you free?
no... i don't rely on anything but my own insanity to set me free

SO have you been to schizoid lately?
yes i was at www.schizoid.org today actually

So who the hell is Red anyway?
he's RED! you know... RED!

Are you related to anyone I know?
absolutely not

I got mushrooms want some?
sure... can you put them on my pizza?

if it were called aural sex, would you have to use your ears instead of your tongue? - marissa
sure why not? i guess if it was called olfaural sex then you'd  have to use your nose 

whats the best way to remove blood stains from organic chemistry text books?
get new text books... blood is hard to remove from books and carpets so it's better just to get rid of it

I've got mushrooms I've got acid I've got tabs and asprin tablets I'm your brother when you need some more weed to set you free?
i don't get 'set free' by weed and i don't want anything else right now... you could send me cash though... that would be great and perhaps 'set me free'

Can I smoke weed till my brain rots?
how do i know its not rotten now? what if you began with a rotten brain? what if it's helping you? then what?

Let me ask you something, you half of a fag. Who the fuck do you think you are?
half a fag... well that's a new one... and i'm me dumbass... just don't breed and everything will be FINE

So whats the smartest idea you ever had? Vanilla Sky
i can't tell you that or you will steal it and make millions

Whats shrooms ? What do you do with them?
shrooms are the short form for mushrooms... you eat mushrooms... try them on your pizza

What is the square root of cheese?
cow

I'm alone right now, are you? You wanna do something together? I'm Clarence the clit as Risa calls me. Do you wanna be my friend? I'm alone... All alone!
ana is here with me... sure we'll hang out but i don't want to be your friend... you can just do stuff for me and clean my place... you'll have fun

When will Michael J. Fox die?
who? oh yea... how about in 3 years, 4 days and 7 months...

Go to <omitted url by dc>... It's not religious, it's freakin' hilarious and everyone should see. If you don't post it, it will be RENO TIME!! -Janet Reno
it is religious cuz that idiot is serious... at least from what i read... it is kinda funny because he's serious but not enough to post the url and have people visit it... so keep it to yourself ms. reno... thank you drive through

What is the end of this joke? "A naked blond walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She puts the poodle down on the table. The bartender says "I guess you won't be needing a drink. The naked blonde says....??"
"buy this salami for 30 bucks and i'll throw in the poodle for free"

AAAAH HELP! someone told me i have seven holes in my head, what do i do?
plug them all up with cheese

What is blonde brown blond brown if your looking straight? A naked blonde doing cartwheels. ...Are you blonde, and can you do cartwheels? Are you NAKED? -Janet Reno
sigh... blond jokes... but yes i am naked... i don't know how to do cartwheels

How big is my penis? -Janet Reno
bigger then your brain... you know i should know the name janet reno from something but i don't know what... i just know that i shouldn't like whomever she is... but i'm too lazy to look up who she really is and perhaps get a clue as to why you think it's funny to use it... instead i'll just wait until you tell me who she is because i can't be bothered to think about it anymore

How big is Janet Reno's penis? -Janet Reno
bigger then her brain

My dog has a minor case of schizophrenia. We are inflicted with multiple personality disorder. My mother seems to have a twisted obsession involving baloney and dustbunnies. Is there any hope for us? -garnetoes
of course there is! 1 in 4 people are chinese!

Rudy Guliani + Janet Reno= ? Hell on Wheels! JESUS RULES!!! -Janet Reno
i don't see a question for ME here

Who owns Private Property? -Vaginal Bear
Private... can't you read?  the privates own a lot of property

It is my belief that your computer is infested with termites. Would you like some help getting them out? -garnetoes
nah... i'll just spray them out with a hose

Yesterday I was caught smokin' a J with Kernel Sanders in back of Kentucky Fried chicken. How did the cops know I was there? Is the NARK? I thought he was my friend... You should join us sometime, you get the munchies and go inside and have freakin' chicken. Goddamn chicken! Sometimes when I smoke I take my pants off. Will you join us?
i don't eat chicken and even if i did... KFC doesn't count as chicken nor anything that even resembles a live animal... its just nastyness in a bucket... i will join you some other night where you aren't eating shit like that

Have you ever seen a Welshman run? ...They run like a Welshman.
yes... and yes they do now that you mention it

Will you feed my grandma tortilini in the bathtub? -Janet Reno
yes i will but only for cash

Do you find Shampoo commercials sensual? - Janet Reno
i don't watch commercials because they annoy me too much

In your past life, were you a chicken? Do you like chicken? Do you love chicken? Have you ever thought about chicken in that way? Do you stockpile dead chickens under your bed and rape them every night? -garnetoes
no i wasn't i was a cube, they kind of annoy me, no, twice, no it was just a phase i went through in grade school

how can i get two lesbians to have sex with two homo's while all four of them are eating dog shit?
pay them lots of money... that seems to be the way to get anyone to do anything no matter how stupid... be sure to tape it and send it to FOX so they can shove it down our throats too

i distinctly remember asking more questions. where did they go? where they eaten by some kind of question-eating monster? is this monster a relative of the sock-eating monster? - Fido Dido
i have no idea what you're talking about? maybe you're dreaming this again... maybe you've been wishing you could ask lots of questions so much that you actually believe you did send in so many

Where in Minneapolis, MN can one get a Brazillian wax? Thank you. jenifer_69
on 3rd street by the bakery

communists are good. capitalism is bad. yes or no? - Fido Dido
i choose to answer 'spheres'

Would you think the audio volume, smell or length of a fart is directly proportionate to the ratio of Onions to Potatos you eat? - Fergus O'dimbal
i think that the smell is proportionate but the volume is determined by the resistance of your ass to the gas being pushed out... the amount of gas and how it's released determines the length... i still have some tests to do though

I like my feet. My feet are bigger than yours. In fact my feet may be bigger than you. I'm stuck for questions lately, if figure it's just a phase I'm going through. You won't miss me, will you? - Mzebonga
you'll grow out of it... sure i'll miss you.. how about you dice up some cheese and take a bath in it... try meditating on your socks for awhile and see what you come up with

america sux.but, what does it suck? - Fido Dido
it sucks in people and money... but then that's just the humans that do that

theres a hidden message somewhere in here: ۲ܽᶫɥ޿򰩤۲ܽᶫɥ ޿򰩤۲ܽ ᶫɥ޿򰩤. can you find it? - Fido Dido
no i can't but then again i didn't really try... can you blame me?

i think someone used my name against my willl in the past questionnaire :( how can i find out if this is true? -keglineq
you can't... you see this can happen because we have chosen to not make you people sign up with usernames... by choosing to do it this way, you don't get charged a membership fee, and we don't ask for any of your personal information or have tons of work to do with no pay... we keep it all free and relatively anonymous because we figure since every other site out there wants all your info and to sell you shit you might want a break from that... if enough of you REALLY wanted to have usernames etc that only you could use, well then we can set it up but it won't be free anymore...

My girlfriends horse always gave me a dirty looks so I chopped it up and sold the meat to a donair shop, how do i tell her that she's eating her horse?
you don't... since when do you tell people what they're eating? as if fast food restaurants could even stay open a day after that sort of announcement... i mean anyone who can have your 'food' ready in 30 seconds is doing something NASTY that you don't want to know about...

Where have all the cowboys gone?
to a tomahawk concert to see what all the hoopla is about

I see a bunch of polyps upon my dog's genital area. I'm a little worried about this. What should I do?
take the dog to the vet or stop touching your dogs genital area

My dad shaved off his eyebrows one Christmas. Should I shave off mine this year to be like him? And, should I dye my skin blue?
dye your hair blue and just create designs with your eyebrows using a shaver

Why do I want to make passionate love with you day in and day out?
i'm not sure but if you can cook and if i don't have to go to stupid places with you then come on over

They say the big bang created the universe but what created the big bang?
stephen hawking and he did a damn fine job

why when i go poop in the toilet and i feel like i need to go even more?
cuz it's backwards day

Lucy was in the sky with Diamonds ok. But then where does that leave poor Ethel?--Mistofflies
in the fields with dirt

maybe this is a question more for shizoid, but... my friend wanted to buy me a casualties patch, and i like the casualties. they sound pretty damn good to me, but their lyrics are stupid as hell. i mean, real poser shit. example: "You always put us down Cause we spike our hair Bondage trousers and dyed hair I'll never change my ways... oi! oi! we're the punks of today (SPIKEY HAIR DRUNK PUNKS!) and we're punks here to stay!!!" see? my question is, should i wear the patch if i think they're stupid, but love their music? it's a nice patch...
from schizoid... Buy the patch if it looks cool and hardcore, don't worry about if the band  themselves and their message are posers, no one will know who the Casualties are anyway, because most people are into shitty music as it is and don't know any better.  If a 'true punk' questions you on it, you can fill them in on whasup and why you are justified in wearing it

why does rugby make my finger hurt?
i think it's the fans

If you're a monkey, how come you can type? or are you just one of those radioactive intelligent monkeys soon doomed to be sent to the moon on some damn stupid 'science investigation'?
i can't reveal any of it to you... i'm a SOCK monkey and the moon is way better then this stinkhole

if youre so insane, how come you're so sarcastic?
sometimes it just clicks together like that... its the great part about insanity

how ca you spend money if youre a monkey? bananas arent that expensive.
i'm a sock monkey and i don't like bananas

what are the best mp3 sites?
uh... well www.mp3.com has lots of mp3s... i don't surf for my mp3s

whats the best pasta sauce recipe that you make?
i don't know how to cook so my recipe is going to the store and buying a jar of it

Why Kate? Whats so good about her?
she's dead... just a corpse

Hey your not suppose to ask us questions and my brain isn't rotton okay?
i can do anything i want damnit!  and you have no proof

In an argument with me and you who would win and why? What was it over? Sally
i think i would because i'd just keep going on until you gave up to shut me up... and it will be over the color of jelly bean that i found in my boot

So what did you do at Schizoids then?
chatted about music and stuff

So who would more happier you or the duck?
me because people don't hunt me or eat me

What do you think of religion then?
it's irrelevant and people should smarten up

So do think anyone will ever send you any money?
probably not... but on the off chance that someone does... well then that's wicked... maybe we'll send them a thank you gift

Whats hoopla?
you know... hoopla about stuff... HOOPLA

I blame you for everything why?
it's not my fault... it's dave's fault... or maybe mitch's

So whats the secret of the sexual chocolates?
that it's not chocolate

whos kiki and baba?
birds in the orient

Where does Risa live? -Janet Reno
on riza the planet

I AM EVERY WOMAN -Rudy Guliani (Janet Reno)
thank you for sharing that

Can I bite you? Vanilla Sky
yes

What are popples? Vanilla Sky
those things that turn into big furry spots

Do you hate it when people say "in a jiffy"?
sometimes yes

Why the hell would anyone want to go back to the 80's? They were full of bad trends,music and people. Whats worse is some people still live in the 80's .
exactly... they sucked then... they suck now... we should all be in denial about it

Would it be my fault if I could turn you on, would it be so bad if I could turn you on ,when I kiss your mouth i wanna taste it, turn you upside down don't wanna waste it so what happens next? Vanilla Sky
you keep doing things to me with your mouth for free

You wanna Know who Reno is huh? She's the first female attorney general. Will Ferrel always portrays her on SNL. It's RENO TIME! -Rudy Guliani
oh thats why i know the name... well how lovely i feel so enlightened

Do you want to go fishing there? -Janet Reno
no... the fish are evil

My friend has this idea that every person of the male gender should be locked underground in cages and should only be taken out for fixing sinks and sexual purposes. What's your thoughts on this matter? -garnetoes
i don't think that's very fair to them all... how about just taking all the stupid people and shoving them into a volcano?

Do you get turned on by Vagisil commercials? I do. -Janet Reno
i don't recall ever seeing them so i can't answer that... i hate commercials and try to avoid them at all costs

Are Republicans as ignorant as they seem? -garnetoes
sure but then again all you humans are

When will the world end? -garnetoes
hopefully soon i'm getting fed up with the constant stupidity of humans

I have a wandering eye, and it's wandering oveer to you to kick your ass! -Janet Reno
wicked sounds like a good time for all

What is the worst sex act you've ever performed?
i fell asleep... that was pretty bad

What nationality is Chucky Lee? -Janet Reno
orange

Where can I buy a Janet Reno doll online? ...It's a present for Risa's birthday. - Janet Reno
i have no idea... try ebay

How old are you? Do you have a real life outside of this website? Do you have to restrain yourself from screaming at your food? Do you hate people that wear pink spandex because at one time YOU wore pink spandex? -garnetoes
24 and sometimes... no i don't restrain myself i just scream at it all i want and no i never wore spandex

oh, i seem to have lost the use of the question mark... all i get is . what can i do to rectify this, yours without-a-question-mark-a-ly, Fido Dido
you said rectify... and try smashing the keyboard against the floor a few times

My question pertains to the orbital velocity of the sock monkey's apple fairy. I have studied some sock monkey's and have found that they each have an apple-like fairy circling their necks at a varied speed. It puzzles me whether the sock monkey's themselves can see these fairies or is it only non-sock monkey-like individuals. Humans of course are not worthy of the apple-fairy...i know that much. Being a tygrfly, i can study such phonomenon without the idiotic intrusions of a human mind. Please inform me if you are aware of this apple fairy, he/she smell pretty, but can start to reek if the monkey becomes angry or excited. Thank u--Tygrfly679047
i have been aware of them but not all sock monkeys can see them as not all have shiny button eyes like i do... and i haven't smelt any foul odor from it but i'll let you know if i ever do

Would it matter whether or not i marinated teh flea droppings before using them in the fly-trap poison. I dont know how much experience sock monkey's have with fly traps but i figured id ask anyway.
absolutely you should marinate them... i have been to many places that have served flea droppings and have found that those that have been marinated are way more tasty then those that haven't

In ancient history man thought the moon was made of cheese. In the 20th century they went to the moon and discovered it was made of rock and dust...........They havent been back since.--Tygrfly
this isn't a question damnit and you got that off that interview with that guy on the tv on that show the other night

i like cheese. Im addicted to cheese. Is it so wrong to put cheese on everything? I make nachos at home on paper plates and when im done, i eat the paper the cheese has melted to. I hope this is not sane and an activity popular among few so i may consider myself different.--Tygrmoth
no its not but a whole lot of it isn't that good for you... old cheese is very addictive though

Janet Reno is spreading rumors about me at school...please tell him off...he's threatening my cheese supply!!!...I have it under guard but i am afraid. Janet Reno frightens me.--Tygrfly
this isn't a question

what is it with the letter "j"? i mean, we hardly ever use it now, do we? prehaps it is a secret symbol that the governments use to track us... plz reply post haste. - Fido Dido
jcp uses it all the time... 

is it cool to touch yourself at nite? -apstl666
usually it's warm

why the hell do we have pennies? what happens to all the ones that people throw out? maybe thats why the US is in debt?!....arg?-KareBear
its how the government tracks us... there are pennies EVERYWHERE... and you should start mailing them all back to the government so they can't track you anymore

Why is Mayonise so stupid....? ....stupid...stupid...mayonaise...god damnit is mayo stupid...but why.... whe is the scientific explination..all it can do is grow hair in the sun...why? -apstl666
mayo is sick... i don't even know what it is... how do you even make it?  hair hair hair in the sun sun sun

What's it called when you someone makes you develope a complex where you are disturbed by the paleness of you penis? and... Should i use a tanning booth or liquid tanner?
i say ignore that person and show to someone else

Can I be Indiana Jones? - Mzebonga
sure go ahead

why is the sky red at night
its those funky red glasses you keep wearing

Why everytime I drink some gasoline do i shit my spleen?
because you are drinking gasoline

I walked the other day down a street and saw a car drive by. The car had one headlight out. i know these are padiddles. But don't you feel they also help degrade the way cars look at each other. Those poor misfit cars get made fun of by other cars.--Mistofflies
this isn't a question

yeah the 80's sucked in some ways, but they're were a lot of good things about it. examples: 1. good metallica. 2. the rise of cheesy slasher movies. 3. nirvana gaining underground success. 4. american punk still going strong. 5. haley's comet. 6. john hughes movies. speaking of which- 6. john candy alive. 7.saturday night live still funny, had great cast, intelligent writers. 8. pop sounded a hell of a lot better than it does now. 9. more david lynch. i could go on, but really, do you agree that at least some apects of the 80's were cool?
i disagree with some of your points... but yes there were a FEW aspects that were cool

Can I blame it on PMS? Sally
no you can't

Was it because of the way I was brought up? Vanilla Sky
yes it was... your parents are to assume much blame

Can I spin around? Butterflys Crazy
like a record baby

Why do I treat people so horribly? Vanilla Sky
the room is full of strangers so why would you be any other way?

I wasn't implying anything? Vanilla Sky
are you implying that you were?

Can I have Fido Dido's ICQ please?
i don't have it... in fact if anyone wants me to see them on my list then let me know because i got a new computer and had to reinstall icq and lost my list a few weeks ago

There was a misunderstanding but it got sorted so your lucky because it was about you but you don't need to know about it so shrimp and mushrooms??
i don't eat shrimp but i'll take the mushrooms on my pizza

So if shrimp and mushrooms what about prawns and oysters?
i don't eat meat... i don't eat seafood

Don't you hate it when people say "I'm on a sea food diet - see food and eat it"?
yes so i make them see a lot of food and then shove it down their throats

So whatever happened to the red box?
no idea what you're talking about... so i ate it

Good to know you like Vanilla ,does that mean we will make a good match? vanilla Sky
only if you let me lick you

What does intellegent conversation with you involve? Vanilla Sky
usually intelligence... and coffee

So if I was to kiss you right there *kiss* would you be embarrased?
only if you're my grandma...

Whats the most exciting thing you've ever done? Sally
i have no idea... i even sat here for a few minutes thinking about it... i just don't know... i haven't done anything really 'exciting' yet i suppose

So is it fun to spoil the ending?
sometimes yes

Last yaer I want to teh mall with Jerry and Jerries mom LINDA and we saw Santa Clawes and he says "wait in lien for a picture with santas and his merry bands of elfs"! IT is for fagots so I sad no thanks to that deal Mister Moth! Jerry is a fagort so he has to see santa and sit on his magic lap to grant his three wishes. Most of the kids ar esmaller tehn Jerry and me but his mom is very happy to see us in teh lines so I said "who are you to tell us how to lives our lives!?" I dont think she heard me though because we waited inline anyway and when Jerry got to Santa he started crying just like I knew he would. Its liek with teh pumpkens we made for Holloween that he made his of Vegeta and I made mine of Charmararanders! How could they compete!?! IT WAS A WINNARS CIRCAL, HANDS DOWN, RIHGT?????
damn you are a PAINFULLY bad speller... it hurt to read that... i'm in so much pain i can't even reply to whatever question i'm supposed to answer in that mess

hello dc. this real hot chick gave me her number yesterday. out of the blue. sounds good, right? i'm nervous as hell. i've never had that happen, a hot chick giving me her number. and frankly, this chick is way out of my league. i mean, i'm a grungy-ass punk kid with a dirty, beat up old oldsmobile that smells like mildew and the old pasta that i spilled in it. i'm ugly, chubby, have a bad complexion, and i drink and smoke weed to much. i still live at home, too. i'm afraid to call her. i mean, i'm really shy about shit like this. i don't know what to say, or talk to her about, and worse, i don't make enough at the shitty minimum wage job i work at to dress nice... i mean, she seems real sweet, too, and kinda preppy, and i don't know if i'll have anything in common with her. i'm going to call her, but what should i do? time is running out for me to call her...
i say call her and act normal... just cuz she is hot doesn't mean she's smart or anything... don't judge people by their looks dumbass... pick up the phone

how often, if ever, have you researched a question, however little? like a long time ago when i asked you what date sid vicious died on?
i don't remember the last one i looked up... i only do it when i am actually interested in the real answer and don't already know it... i haven't had to or wanted to look anything up lately though...

what are the nine eskimo words for snow?
i don't know... the next time i see an eskimo then i'll ask

Have new nieghbours moved in yet?
i'm not sure... i haven't seen or heard any... although the people above me will DIE for stomping all the time

I had an epithany last night and i realized why i come here: for mental stimulus, then my hand grazed my crotch and i yelled OH! But this was not because it felt good, but because I realized that the need for mental stimulus is lack of one's own thought, then I realized i can supply my self with mental stimulus. Is this mental masturbating? -Janet Reno
yes... and i hope you're enjoying yourself... and would you mind terribly saying crotch again?

David Thoreau once said "Men go fishing all there lives without knowing it is not fish they are after." Toreaus as realized as i do that men go fishing for Sweet Hot Sexy Meramaids. Why do you believe men go fishing, and don't say to jerk off alone in a boat! -Janet Reno
well anything is more exciting then trying to catch fish... 

Can i have sex with anna? -Janet Reno
sure, just leave MY ana alone

I have a strange habit of stripping my feet of its heavy burden of shoes and socks, and letting my naked feet be free. However, many people do not appreciate this act of empancipation. Although I ignore the general opinion of society, I do think that sometimes the purple fuzz between my toes have been going through asexual reproduction at an alarming rate. How do I keep my dignity, my toe fuzz, and my naked feet while remaining a happy, normal person? -garnetoes
stay in your own apartment... you can do anything you want there pretty much... including your sick foot thing

My experiments have proved that there is a relationship between the amount of carbohydrates and fibre in the food? Do you think that the Onions could just prvide flavour? - Fergus O'dimbal
never! they are there for a reason damnit and its YOUR job to find out!

*cracks whip* Look, I'm Indiana Jones. Should I go hunt treasure now? - Mzebonga
yes! treasure! look i've found treasure! treasure! can i play with your whip?

why wont phipples wipe his nipples when i'm gay on a day in may?
nothing rhymes with orange

what is it with people asking sensible questions? i thought this was supposed to be the INSANE domain, not the SANE domain. oh well. cup cake anyone? - Fido Dido
i'll have a cup cake but only if there is money in it... and yea insane insane

dum bum hum drum is what a hobo said to me, what does that mean?
dum bum is in refernce to his dum bum friend... and hum drum is how he's feeling

why does nick smell?
he cleans himself with fish tank water

Why do you seem less enthusiastic when you answer questions than when you answered my old questions on page 22 & 23?
i think that you're reading has become less enthusiastic as the time has worn on... try forcing yourself to smile why you read my replies

blurgale? - Fido Dido
hey would you mind

Almighty DC! I've put questions in the past 2 days and they haven't shown up! They werent bad ones either! They were great! DId you eat them?
i eat any that aren't questions... but they should have appeared... try not blinking...

why am i so afraid of my pet jesus?
you should be... 

it seems that i cant stop writing nosense in english, the other day i wrote about kittens and the soft soft bunnies - how do i stop this?
learn to write in another language

ok this is a story that really pist me off. you may not like it but i did. first off my initial are am. This is an important part of the story. so i was at my locker when my english teacher came by and asked me if i was a morning person and i say "what the hell?" he only repeated "are you a morning person" confused i replied "uhhhh...no...go away" with a smile on his ron howard face he said "so your not true to your initials" i stood there angry and perplexed "get it AM your initials" now i was so piste i almost exploded "go away" i said again he continued to laugh "gay" i mumbled and walked away.
i bet he stayed up all night thinking of that... and i think it's insane that he gave your initials that much thought... tomorrow you should bring him a pear and say 'get it?', laugh hysterically and leave

i made up an all purpose word, grundalafunga, do you like it? - God
its lovely

how long have i been dead? I'm starting to smell. - God
yes you do smell... try a body bag for awhile until the stink goes down

do you think that the name Pubert is funny? - God
not funny, but not one i'd want...

Why must i stab the cow with a blunt object and only ate my legg. - God
you don't have to do that to the cow... the government just wants you to think that.. i mean why the hell would there be chicken broth in broccoli & cheddar sauces?

how do you now the woodchuck could chuck wood??
i don't

why must melvin always be near me - the hideous fat man odor burns my eyes, he also wont stop putting sausage in his ears and screaming 'mr candy cane why does it rain". he also wears beef jerky around his neck. man do i hate him. him and his salted meat products. Can you make him go away - ratinacage2002
try singing about the bleakness of the color red and how candles make you want to make chairs and he'll go away

why are there musicals? nobody really bursts into song to say 'hello" or "hey i'm gonna take a shit" -God
i burst into song all the time and perform choreographed dances with my friends and co-workers... but then again musicals should be banned

dammit, are you censoring me? if so, at least say so. - Fido Dido
i don't think i am... perhaps it happened in your head... so fuck you and YOUR censorship

What Is The Meaning Of Life?
42

Is reality an illusion created by alcoholic deficiency?
no... reality is just an illusion

DO yOU! hAvE LiQuOr fOr mE? -Woozy Boozer
yes i do but you can't have it

Is my insane domain hadle stupid? should i get a new one? what should it be? -Woozy Boozer.
yes and yes... it should now be Alfred Hooligan

what are the effects of exstacy?
i don't know directly cuz i have never done or experienced it

if an asian guy and a white girl have sex what do you get?....
my video camera

DO YOU THIN PEDIDDLES DEGRAD CARS. reread it baby theres a question and that was it.--Mistofflies
you're making my head hurt

what's the weirdest thing you've ever dug out of your belly button? ...other orifaces?
a bug

If you fucked Santa Clause in the ass, we you be put on the good or bad child list? Gekko
the good list

the monkies are laughing at me(?)
yes they are... we all are

What should you do if you're straining for a fart, let rip but unfortunately follow through and actually touch cloth in a public? Witto
just sit down on a bench, let it soak in so it doesn't drip down your leg and then blame it on the bench

If you don't answer the questions every day or every other day, when do you answer them? Witto
every day or every other day

Why can't I blame it on PMS? Can I blame it on christmas then? Sally
yes you can blame it on xmas... not pms cuz i think it's just a ploy to treat people like shit and get away with it

Uh what happened to the computer you built?Sally
i replaced my old one with it and i'm quite pleased... 

Oh, yeah, I have the whip now. Cool! I guess I can go and live a quiet life now without slavery. So, I'll see you later then. What are you going to do now I'm gone? - Mzebonga
damn... i think i'll just sit here awhile and see what happens... maybe you'll come back and say sorry

This guy came in asked for some of our hair from the floor ,why? Lets ponder that!! Sally- I think it's really strange to ask for other peoples hair thats been on the floor myself I don't know what you think though.
i think he puts it in a bag until it's full and then fucks it because he has a hair fetish... or he's going to sprinkle it around the scene of a crime he plans on committing to frame someone

does she love me?
sometimes but not always

Do hickys annoy you? One of the girls from my work got sent home from having one because our work is so strict on our presentation and how we look.Sally
i think that it's stupid to do that where it's visible to others... i mean come on... do we have to look at that? i think she deserved to be sent home... it's like people who make out in public... damnit do it where i can't see you

is that kate story saying that she's dead right from the start???
 read it carefully and then you tell me

Is that Jcps hair in that pic with the name Funky ? If so thats cool and how do you get it to be so blurry like that?
i honestly have no idea what that is a picture of... i am assuming that it was taken using the nightshot plus feature on the digital camera that took the photo, as that is how pictures turn out when you do that

How come you have your pictures drawn instead of actual photos of you guys in the member section?
so you deranged freaks can't hunt us down and ask us stupid questions in person

If enough of us ban together to boycott christmas, do you think we can stop it? -gone postal
yes we can... i think you should send all your money to me instead, so that we can keep the economy going and i'll be sure to spend it in ways that messes up all those corporate bastards

What would you do if i stole your shoe?
i would throw the other one at you and then put on my boots again

why is licking groins not a could career choice? I've made a lotta money from it
then it's been a good choice for you... don't listen to anyone who tells you any different

Is it really fun to stay at the YMCA?
i've heard it is, but i haven't done so myself

who asked bout red boxes? do they even know what one is? i do, and its is illegal... and fun. these questions have gone way down hill. dontcha agree? - Fido Dido
yes and red boxes... what is that besides the obvious? damn people always making up stupid shit... and still no one answers about that one rolled up pant leg... can't ANYONE explain it to me???

Why do hotdogs come in packs of 10 and hotdog buns come in packs of 8 ?
so stupid people keep buying more to match it up and fuck with your sad little minds... then they poison you slowly with the hot dogs

Both Jesus and Satan owe me money from various bets when will they pay me back? -Alfred Hooligan.
in a year but satan will write you a check that bounces then will deny the whole thing

lets make this an anonymus cry for help....... my friend has been wearing a cape to school and other such strange objscts. the other day, he painted his face completely white and killed a squirrel for fun... what should i do to him?
i'd take away all sharp objects and then tie him to a tree until he can behave himself without wearing stupid hats... but the face painting is ok

I will pour diet coke on your tail. What will you do?
wipe it off and then get a can of grape soda and spray it in your face

Spoons like to talk to me. Do they like to talk to you?
i would say that i get along much better with the knives then the spoons... but i'm not allowed to hang out with the knives anymore because they are a 'bad influence' on me

Santa told me your being a bad monkey. Come to my bedroom.
will you spank me?

I don't think you can explain the one rolled up pant leg, I mean come on don't even try to figure some freaks out otherwise you'll hurt your brain.Anyways I thought I would put in my two bits as I usually do hahaha Now to the question what would be a suitable christmas present for you? Sally
good point and i don't want any xmas presents... just presents... you can get me some money... or uh... or perhaps pay for the printing of theinsanedomain tshirts that we're looking into having done

my parents got me a printer for christmas. along with 2,000 sheets of paper. so far i've printed... 5 sheets of paper worth. do you want some paper?
you bet i do... in fact i'd like you to print out the whole of theinsanedomain.com so we have a hard copy

What would you do if a paper towel tried to take over the world?
spray it with water, grab it, toss it to the ceiling were it can try to take over the world from there

Why don't you have a brother called Henry?
i'm not sure but i blame the alignment of the planets when my parents met

sweden?
never been there but if you're offering to pay for me to go there then i will

Why do nsync sound so good?
you're drunk, high and not playing their stuff... you are mistaken and really listening to some other stupid band

Do you know of any ways to whip yourself? - Mzebonga
yes... get a belt and whip it across your legs...

If I fart in your face on many occasions, do you think you could describe the subtle differences in odour? - Fergus O'dimbal
i doubt it... my sense of smell isn't that great... but sanimal would let you

If your friends jumped off the Brooklyn bridge, would you? Why the fuck would you be in Brooklyn anyway? - Mzebonga
no i wouldn't but i'd push them if they asked... and maybe someday i'll be in brooklyn... you never know

what to jellyfish taste like? - SYMG
probably like jellyfish... only cooked

do you answer all the questions you get, or just some of them? - Fido Dido
i answer pretty much all of them... today i deleted one that was just 'why' because i've had too many of those and don't feel like answering it... i keep all questions that meet my rules, and delete any that break them... i delete maybe one or two a week

What is the meaning of life?
42

Why do heterosexuals hate homosexuals? the homosexuals aren't attracted to them and they're not competition as far as finding a mate goes, if anything heterosexuals should THANK homosexuals, what do you think? Stupid handle.
people just like to come up with illogical reasons to hate each other 

am i cool
not really no but your mom thinks you are

ok ok i have uses far to many stupid name things i should have one, cause i want special recognition as a loyal viewer/valued customer/return visitor, i want this because as you tell me quite often, i am a freak. here are some names i've used, Fork Flinger, THE demonic weasel and several otheres and recetly Stupid Handle, what are some names YOU think would be fitting?
hooligan, fredo, KissKill, Bozo, Fancy Fork Flinger (cuz fork flinger wasn't bad) or George

why does it seem that so many people are snobs? everyone seems to have this holier than thou attitude, and it's starting to annoy the hell out of me. i used to live in dallas, but i moved to a small town three hours away in the country. i work at a fast food restaurant. anyway, these preppy girls drive up to order, and they say "hi seth, i'd like a shake." i didn't remember meeting these girls before, but i asked them how they knew my name. "we used to go to high school with you in dallas- hurry up and make our shake, will you?" she said with an irritated look. i said "yeah, i'll make it," a bit put off, of course.. i tried talking to them a bit more, but they acted like they despised me. then i remembered who one of them was. she was a girl i used to be friends with. after i moved, we wrote each other for a while, and suddenly she stopped writing back. i hadn't seen her in 4 years. she used to be a sweet pothead chick, now she's a sorority snob. i tried to talk to her, but she just drove off after she got her shake. i haven't seen this girl, my old "friend" in 4 fucking years, and suddenly meet her in a town in the middle of nowhere, and she just blows me off. she acted like i was an asshole. i didn't do shit to her. it's not just this one occasion that's made me feel this way. everyone seems to feel that they're better than everyone else, because they're wearing more expensive clothes, or are good looking or have more money... i hate it. i'm sick of this shit. why are people so cold? i don't understand how people can act this way without feeling guilty. sorry about the length of this question. -seth
people suck ass and especially people to turn out to be assholes... i have known many people that i have met after highschool and they have turned out to be the biggest assholes ever... then again i hated everyone throughout highschool and hate them now... i only speak to those who aren't stupid such as the person you described...

do you play any musical instruments? like the spoons? or do you just beat people until they play for you? - Fido Dido
i play keyboards and want to play drums... no spoons for me because they don't actually exist and yes i do that...

Every year santa breaks into my house and steals milk and cookies from me. why isnt he scharged with breaking and entering and theft?
because you didn't fill out the proper paperwork

Have yoou considered post humorous items on this site?
many times but we've decided against it

where will i find a good looking boy that would go out with a girl called kat that is 11 or 12 and lives in England in s.t lenards on-sea but has to no where willindon ave is
on the internet

I fucked a pig am I a bad person?Would you fuck a pig?
if the pig was ok with that then you're not a bad person... and no

R u superman in disguise?
if i was and i told you, i wouldn't be in disguise anymore would i?

Am I paranoid or am I just stoned?
a little from both

Now what do i do? Fancy Fork Flinger.
try doing somersaults

Yeah, but why would you be in Brooklyn? - Mzebonga
maybe thats where the train stopped

Is Sanimal my mother? - Mzebonga
you better hope not

Do you think farting will become a recognised language in the future? Fergus O'dimbal
doubtful but then again we humans are pretty stupid

Do you ever wonder if you're going mad? I don't think you're human if you don't? But have you ever wondered what it is really like to be really mad? Y'know, like seeing people who aren't there? And talking to them? I often wonder what could cause that. What makes a person go insane is it stress? Or is it deeper rooted than that? Is it in the upbringing? Is it the parents fault? Or is it society? Or is it just me? Since it's became an issue, Ive found that thinking about madness is only likely to drive you further down that road. - Mzebonga
i used to wonder but then it finally happened and i don't have to wonder anymore... many things can cause it to happen, but i've screwed up my wrist and can't type it all out

Can I be a member of TheInsaneDomain.com? - Mzebonga
no unless you send us a million dollars each

if i like the way a band sounds, but their lyrics offend even me (by the way, i'm talking about the mentors), should i listen to them?
well if the lyrics piss you off enough then don't

If Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Micheal Jackson, Trent Reznor, Axel Rose, Chelsea Clinton, Cher, Jennifer Lopez, Winona Ryder, Robert England, Seth Green, Lucy Lawless and The Rock all were on survivor who would win?
michael jackson all the way... second would be trent... axl would be thrown in the fire after the first night

is it just me or does food taste better with hair in it -NIKE
it does... gives it more texture

how does blue taste? -NIKE
well some may tell you that blue tastes like green, but they just can't taste the sublte differences... blue tastes quite good, but not everyone can enjoy it's full flavor

how big is really really big mans kitchen? - NIKE
60000 square feet is really big... go ask bob villa or something

do you know where would infinity end?
right about..... THERE

upside down carrotts they're great aren't they?
sometimes yes

are you right wing, moderate, or left wing?
i'm always right, except when i think i'm wrong... i have no wings

if a girrafe has a sore throat how many throat sweets does it take to make it feel better??- the on hoo cnt spel
one large one... giraffe size... tastes like fresh leaves

Why do people call computers "stupid" when people are the ones making them? Wouldnt people then be "stupid"?
all people are stupid... although since the computer and the software is created by humans... it too has a degree of inherited stupidity

Does SAnimal do it because hes an asshole? Not updating that is.
yes probably... as if anyone would ask him questions

If you were to ever have to dress p in drag, what would you look like?--Mistofflies
i'd look damn hot and you'd spend your paycheck on me

"dammit... janet...." why is this so? why is it not "bugger.... shugger..." or even "shit... kit..."? yours, "what-is-he-going-on-about-now" - Fido Dido
good question

a couple of mates and myself are starting a band, and are going to ue one of the name off your band name bits. can we hvae your endorsement and a little graphic to print off saying "Endorsed by DC"? - Fido Dido
i have to hear it to endorse it so send me a link to download it somewhere when you have mp3s... and let me know what name you go with... and some carrot juice

will you comb my hair? :)
uh... no... but i did think about it and almost said yes

kiki and baba, your brother and sister, RAIDED my house last night, in an Elian Gonzales type style demanding that I tell them where you were hiding. I told them I didn't know where you are, and that you were probabaly up there ice fishing in Canada or something and they called me a liar, a home wrecker, and a moohoocaacaa something I think it was sock monkey language. I'm frightened. What should I do? Can you get them away from me?
a moohoocaacaa?! why i'd be OUTRAGED if it were me... i say you take vengeance on them all with pasta and ink

hey DC, guess what? Alright, got it? Okay cool.
damnit chicken butt

what does poopy fish trasnlate to in sock monkey language? Is there a sock monkey language? can you teach me it? or is it secretive?
it translates to something the human mind can't comprehend... and i'm not telling you and i have no comment

Hey Dexter old buddy. It's about time you turn in that report that was due yesterday. Boss is getting pissed and soon he's going to take it out on all of us. Quit clicking the little X everytime I walk by your desk. Who are you trying to fool? haha. LOSER. Oh I heard that Jon is sleeping with your wife! Haha!
spank me cuz i quit and you can all suck my tail

if I was staring at a guy smoking from a buzedlonob, should i ask him for a hit?
yes

There's some weirdo who comes to my website and asks about you. Wants to have a relationship with you. I told them that you'd want money and that you only like your tail rubbed, you don't reciprocate but they won't listen. Do you want to sort them out? - Mzebonga
huh? what's going on now? is this person rich?

does lisa need braces? or is lenny smart with sticking to the dental plan? - Nike
i think they should stick with the dental plan so she doesn't have to wear that contraption on her face

why do you sound like a jerk? what makes you think you are qualified to answer all of people's questions?
you're not reading properly and i know i'm qualified and don't need to justify myself to you or the lamp

This isn't very inventive but I am curious, are you a Tori Amos fan??
no i'm not

what are the most shocking movies, books, people, music and/or bands themselves to you? what has made you sit back in your chair and say "damn. that's fucked up..."? -seth
well once there was a movie on tv about this guy who lived on a bridge with some old drunk guy and he would get drunk and then they'd fight and then some chick came along and she couldn't see very well and they would get drunk together and yell but the old man got pissed off and then there was a truck with flyers and the flyers were pictures of the girl cuz someone was looking for her and then the drunk guy saw it and lit the truck with flyers on fire and then some guy in the truck died so the drunk guy was now wanted by the police and the girl was now blind so she didn't see the posters with her face and then the drunk guy is caught and the girl goes away... that made me say 'damn that's fucked up'... as for 'shocking' well i don't know... i haven't been shocked in awhile... i was shocked i liked the last fantomas album... i was expecting to hate it... and stephen kings 'the wastelands' usually messes me up ... 

In which country was Brittney Spears photographed leaving a party drunk?
no idea what you're talking about... and i don't care either

What is art? Is LIFE art? Is ART art? Is a pig sliced in half, pickled and then displayed in a glass container ART? - BARCLAY
art is art... and sure perhaps it is to you... keep your art off my lawn though

ok in ine of the Power Puff Girls episodes there is a cat who tries to take over townsville. i thought that the cats taking over the world was an undercover operation? did one of the writers find out or do the cats have agents everwhere??? -keglineq
in the WHAT episodes? i'm assuming this is a cartoon cuz i haven't seen that shit on the news yet... and the cats must be responsible for this... i'm sure there is a hidden agenda in there somewhere

I've often wondered about Fido Dido, but when he starts talking about songs from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", you know he is truly mental. Send him my regards, would you? - Mzebonga (Just a Sweet Transvestite)
no i won't do it yourself and you didn't ask me any questions so shame on you and your whole organization

If I dipped my ass in freezing water what colours would it go? - Mzebonga
freezing water is ice and you couldn't force your ass into it unless you have a metal ass in which case i'd like you to send me pictures of it and your attempt to shove it into ice

i watched richard & judy yesterday(sad i know but hey) & dido appeared on the show. she said dido was a nickname & then told us her real name but it was french & i didnt catch it.can you tell me what her real name is please?
i saw fred and tammy yesterday and they said that they had no idea what you were watching and what a 'dido' is... tammy thought that you meant 'dildo' but fred said 'no way maybe they just forgot the fido' but i said 'who gives a shit?' and that was that

Do you think that dolphins wil ever overthrow the goverment in a hostile take over or just work from within and brainwash everyone?
i think they'll work from within, cause the humans to kill each other off and then take over

You must forgive Dave, he's a bit testy at times. Kinda like SAnimal but less of a dick and more willing to answer questions. He didn't offend did he? - Mzebonga
i'm not offended... i have to care about others and their opinions to be offended... unless he said i had a fat ass... that's just mean

who the heck r u??
not sure, i'll get back to you

How old r u??
24

what ryhmes with orange? or does nothing ryhme with orange? what is the purpose of this "word" not "ryming"? - Fido Dido
forange does... they just don't want to recognize it as a word so they can think they're all smart

Do you have nothing better 2 do??- I mean cos you basically sit at your computer all damn day and answer stupid people's questions!!
actually i have a job where i work 10 hours a day 5 days a week and 8 hours on saturdays... i do spend about an hour answering these questions each day so you should send me money to thank me for my dedication you ungrateful BRAT

How do you score with a woman?
send me money and i'll tell you

my sister has a big penis. if i put salt on it would it shrink?
perhaps... i'm sure it will make it sting if you rub it in... then again... why are you looking at your sister's penis?

Dear DC,  Should I trade in my Gibson Epiphone Les Paul 'GoldTop' for a white Fender Strat?? The Les Paul doesn't play aswell as the Strat but it has a chunkier sound.  I look good playing both, jp
i say steal money from your friends and family until you can afford to buy the fender strat... that way you can have both and if you decide to smash one to impress someone then you've got another to play

Was putting white powder in all of the Christmas cards I sent out REALLY that offside??  I thought it was funny, jp
i don't see the problem... and thanks for the christmas card... 

Why hasn't my Dildo/Pez dispenser caught on?? I thought I'd be a millionaire by now. jp
well i'll help you out by buying some for my mom, grandma's and aunts... i'm sure they'll love them... do they come in different colors? what flavors are the pez available in? can you get a double dispenser?

If the dolphins cause all the humans to kill themselves, what will the cats do for slaves? -gone postal
they work for the cats or the cougars eat them

Why was Bert so evil? Sally
it was his eyebrow

Why is there so much bullshit in life?
that's what life is about nowadays

I so can't wait till we have our own house , no more rent inspections and we can do what we like and have pets . Do you guys get your landlords around to see if your keeping the apartment tidy?It will be so good not to worry about bullshit like that and the place we are buying has a pool how cool is that? Well for us its good because its always hot.The house is so perfect to what we want the only thing I won't be looking forward to is moving. That will be a pain in ass.hehe Sally
rent inspection? what is that about... i live in an apartment and can have pets... woah if i had a landlord doing that then i would living in the streets... pool! yea party at your place... what the hell is with your landlords seeing if you keep the place tidy?!?!?! that's insane... 

Have you seen Original Sin with Angelina Jolie in it? Wow she was hot and the sex scene in it made me blush. I don't know if you would like it though.Sally
no i haven't seen it... or heard of it so what's it about and tell me more about this sex scene

Hey DC. How are things..Just dropping by. Man, I haven't been by the site in a long time. It's been a while. Like around 2 days. Damn. I need to get my ass in shape. Anyway, how are things?
yes you should be here daily... shame on you and things are insane but could be more insane

Now I know you aren't a big fan of America(Though I am a big fan of yours) Do you want to fillet Osama Bin Laden and sell him real cheap at the open market like I do?
i wouldn't mind filleting many humans... but frankly i don't have the skill in doing that sort of thing

Please help me. I know this isn't a question. But my mom keeps listening to a particular Tim McGraw song. She has figured out how to use the "repeat" button. I think Im going to start bashing my head into the wall. No matter how loud I blast my music its like I can STILL hear it! Oh help me please!
its time for you to move out... or 'accidentally' scratch the cd so it can't be listened to... if that doesn't work then 'accidentally' break the cd player

who wants to know about YOUR sexlife?! I mean damn! I'm pretty sure we all have our own fucken sex lives to deal with... why yours too?
i only answer what i'm asked so if you don't like it then stop asking those questions

Is this a stupid question?
yes

My name is Molly. I can make toast.
this isn't a question stupid molly

Why can't I stop shaking?
its those pills man... and the damn coffee

I can see that many of the questions asked here are absolute shite, and you probably don't need me to tell you that, but I wanna know what kind of questions YOU wanna be asked. It must get pretty boring answering crap questions, so if there's anything we can do to help...
well i would tell you exactly what type of questions to ask but the sock puppets are telling me not to... but screw them... i would like questions about stuff... you know... good stuff... good question stuff

You are Canadians. I am a Canadian but i live in Australia now. What will happen to me? -ZOT-
well apparently people will begin checking your apartment for cleanliness

IS it possible to make Gillian stop singing?
yes... death

People seem to look at me a lot and when i look at them they all of a sudden look away. I also hear people always call my name and i cant see where from or who is calling me. Do i have Down Syndrome?
No you don't... but you probably have one of those strange viruses that cause you to hear voices and think that people are actually looking at you when really it's just eating your brain away

Have you noticed how far too many misguided fools confuse insanity and stupidity? and do how does it feel to have some insane thing your created(this website) attract the stupid people you try to not deal with? and finally...can we stop the stupid people? is it possible? or are there just too many? -Fancy Fork Flinger.
yes far too many and sometimes it is amusing... many stupid people are shot but the tricky part is determining if they are or not... you can't harm the smart people and then you have to define what is considered 'smart' and then you're open to all sorts of arguments so your best bet is to take out those who question you first... and yes there are far too many so how about all the smart people go find ourselves another planet

Hey DC.You ever encounter some people who just seem so not on your level that you can't even hold a normal conversation withouht making sure what you're talking about isnt confusing for them?
i encounter many of these people where i work... people need to look into what they want to buy before they buy a damn computer... i mean do you just wander onto a car sales lot and ask the salesperson to explain about every car and every part in it? no, you do some damn research before going out there and have an idea what you want it for... don't just show up and then become all confused while wasting everyone's time... if you don't have any idea why you're buying something then stay the fuck at home

Hey DC. Yes I usually do visit your site daily, sometimes even 3 or 4 times a day(I have no social life) I really want to meet you in person and have sexual intercourse with you. Now for the question, would you?
would i meet you or would i have sexual intercourse with you?  yea i would and keep coming back

Did you know the reason why I make macaroni is to tease my little kitty sammy?
leave sammy alone damnit

Will you make me god of Switzerland if I give you Mzebonga's credit card number? -gone postal
sure

If Bert is so evil, then why is Ernie so infatuated with him? And why is Ernie so obsessed with his "rubber ducky"? I bet he things Bert would make bathtime "lots of fun". - Mzebonga
ernie is evil too... and his rubber ducky is just a cover up for the words 'sacrificial altar'

Do you remember the time I knew I girl from Mars? - Mzebonga
i think i do but then again i could be lying

Onions and potatos are very good but I have learnt that Beefy farts are the best. What do you think? - Fergus O'dimbal
well i haven't had any beef for over a year so i can't say i recall the smell... but i have learnt that lots of veggies can create much gas in a variety of delightful aromas

Dead by smelly anus: yours or someone else's? - Mzebonga
i'm busy so find someone else's this time

What's a good way to phrase "would you like a shag?" without offending the girl? - Mzebonga
say please at the end

Would you like a shag? - Mzebonga
you didn't say please

Would you agree that the only good thing about Christmas is those Wolverhampton marvels Slade being on the radio? - Mzebonga
no... i think you just made that up to be cool

Why say "pants"? Why not "trousers" like the rest of the sensible world? - Mzebonga
pants is less offensive then trousers because trousers has been tainted by the term 'trouser snake'

Briefs or Boxers? Why? - Mzebonga
boxers cuz they let me breathe

Given suitable economic situations, do you think that the United Kingdom should join the Single Currency? - Mzebonga
i think that all kingdoms and countries should send me all their currency

Why can't I make her see she's just the flavour of the week? - Mzebonga
send her a well written memo along with diagrams and graphs

Should I stop living like "The Gimp" off of "Pulp Fiction"? - Mzebonga
if its working for you then no

I want to eat you! You look very tasty with your beautiful little sock monkey feet and hands. Maybe if you are a good sock monkey and scratch my cellulose, I will only eat your feet. I will let you keep your tail if you promise to use it to pleasure me in the morning and at night. ELSE I WILL EAT YOU WHOLE!! Yummmmmmmmmmmm!!! - Flabba the Slut
this isn't a question and if it was the answer would be NO

Is now the time to break some kneecaps? if so: should i use the paper wieght or the rubber chicken filled with sand? -Fancy Fork Flinger
yes and i would like you to use the rubber chicken filled with sand... send pictures

Will any fat people build up the confidence to take over the world?.......How would they do so?
the cats will take over the planet...  once all humans fat and skinny are dealt with

My penis pump has a hole in the tube what can i use to patch it up?-Ricidulous
duct tape... that fixes EVERYTHING

Is it okay to have mental problems? and do those padded walls cost extra I find them very conveinent when wanting to throw myself against the wall when I have finger paint spread all about my body....would you find this abnormal? And would you call my art, abstract art? ~~once fugly but now Idiot Destroyer
yes it is ok... and i haven't been able to find good pricing on padded walls... please let me know where to find some... i've put too many holes in my walls already... no it's not abnormal and sure i'll call it that... and i'm glad you've dumped the nickname fugly... it bothered me slightly once

Is it possible for idiots to overcome our sad government and take over the world or as that already happened? And what is it with secrets I find them most annoying?!?! **Idiot Destroyer
it happened a long time ago... and secrets can indeed be most annoying... especially if they are stupid to keep secret

I knmow you believe in aliens but what about ghosts ghosts are cool okay!?!? they are white and and they scare people!!!~~~Idiot Destroyer
ghosts haven't bothered me lately so i have no issues with them

what are the legal drinking, smoking, and porno-buying ages in canada? -seth
19, 16, 18

what is the answer to my question? - Fido Dido
gorillas, 18 of them

what does "lol" actually stand for? is it "laughing out loud", "Lots of laughter", or some kind of top-secret government department, whose job it is to infiltrate the internet, and bring in the most insane persons/sock-monkeys? or does it not mean anything, and is just a way to keep track of those so-called "happy" people, whose job it is to undepress the depressed, and annoy those who have just woken up? yours he-must-be-on-drugs, - Fido Dido
i'm choosing option 3

Actually I like hearing about your sex life I mean How the hell do sockmonkies have sex anyway?
tails, smoke, mirrors and stuff

why is it that trees are so tree like? - Fido Dido
i blame it on the branches, and in many cases, the trunk as well

Okay well here some people trash their rented houses or apartments and leave without paying their last six months rent so some owners like to do inspections every now and again to make sure your not wrecking the place. Which is fair enough ,here we hear about so much of that on the news and you wonder how people can live with the fact they have damaged someones elses home and taken off so that the owner has to pay for it to get fixed? I think some people have a very bad sense of wrong and right.What do you think? Sallly
i have never seen that in the news... but hey its a good idea... and i think that most people suck so what can you expect

Its called Original Sin and it has Angie in it of course and Antonio Banderas who I'm not a fan of and its set in some place a long time ago the story is a bit confusing and the sex scene was very intense and if you wanna know more watch it the sex scene isnt that far into it so if you don't like it then you won't have to watch much. So are you going to see it that is the question? Sally
if i can ever pull myself together long enough to remember a movie title then i'm sure i will

I have a good sense of whats wrong and whats right ,I had good parents who brought me to respect people and their property so where did it go so wrong with some people? Like some dumbass dented my car ,no note or anything I have no idea who did it ,see people have no morals or respect for other peoples property.Sally
most people just don't care about others but somehow expect the world to show them respect... others just get fed up and stop being respectful because they don't get treated with respect so they just add to the fucking problem

You can have my credit cards. I'm only in debt anyway. You won't be able to use them. I think you had better take back your deal with gone postal, hadn't you? - Mzebonga
i just want money... 

As regards the quality of questions at the moment: Why don't you just forget about getting better questions and answer the ones you're given? It seems to be your purpose in life. - Mzebonga
i have various purposes at various times... and i do answer the ones i'm given

I heard you were going out with Fabba the slut,Is this true? Sally
no

Do you sometimes bite back? Sally
yes

Can you bite Flabba for me shes hell annoying?
not right now i just ate

Can I give you some advice? Well I will regardless: Just because she dances go-go, It don't make her a ho - no. Do you feel better for that? - Mzebonga
no not really

one time i was walking and then there were some blind people, they infected the cows with their blindness, oh yeah and then there were the 4 bridges, anyway back to the muffins, the were purple too, hello little space penguin, get off my shoulder! aaaahh! do you have a problem with your laminator?
my laminator works well but we ran out of tape for the label maker

Did you know I watch Titanic to get back at my little kitten Sammy?
that's not very nice

meow! meow!! meow meow meeeeeeeow, meow.meeeeow?--Little kitten Sammy
meow meeerow

IF i pt mistletoe in my ass, would peeps kiss it eve nwhen i dont clean my ass after shitting? Since its a rule?
if it is a rule and they obey the rules then sure

Why does shit taste like shit?Why doesnt it taste like chicken like everything else?
because it's shit

Why be different when you can't be yourself?
exactly

Can I have a P Please Bob?
no

Do you think its strange that theres a way, a way to look a way to act and how to think?
i think it's strange that the dumb get to choose this stuff

Did you know about her strength in religion?
blah blah blah

Is there a good old poultry tale down on the farm?--Mistofflies
i'm sure there is

How does "sacrificial altar" make bathtime lots of fun? - Mzebonga
if you don't know then you have some researching to do

Goddamn people and their goddamn fucking problems, why don't they go fuck themselves? Always coming to me for advice, asking me for help, looking to me to be strong for them. Not a minute to they spend to think that I might have issues of their own. No they fucking well come to me and expect me to listen, sympathise and help. If I'm having a bad day and I give them shit for bugging me then I'm an asshole. But no, if they do it to me. Who gives a fuck about me, right? So I'm fucking pissed off with people and their problems and I think I might cut myself and see if the demons jump out because I've just about had enough of everyone and their stinking, shitty problems. So, how's your day been? - Mzebonga
my day has been long, strange and blurry

Should Idiot Destroyer become the artist formerly known as Fugly? - Mzebonga
no because i don't want to see the name fugly anymore

Does anyone know the new location of the brainy brides site mentioned above? I too am trying to have a renaissance wedding and would like some suggestions and informational sites.
nope cyan & jcp dumped that stupid idea a long time ago... its gone

My sacrificial alter is about twice the size of my bathtub so I can't really use it while taking a bath. If I use it outside in the rain and call it a shower, would that be close enough to consider it bathtime? -gone postal
yes it would

Wow thats confusing with all the different ages you can do things, we can do everything at 18 here in Oz which is pretty cool,do you think they should change the age to do things then in Canada?
they should raise the limit so you are over 50 to smoke, and the rest lowered to 12

I'm begging to think I have Schizophrenia... Like, the other day there...I walked past a bunch of old ladies and they started hitting me with their handbags for no apparent reason...I don't get out much...but is this normal old lady behaviour...?
yes this is normal old lady behavior and that has nothing to do with the schizophrenia

name to ridicule them along with email addresses. is an odd sentence. jim-bob. ?? i dont think so? - Fido Dido
not really

my name isnt freak... - some odd guy
yes it is so shut up

why do the hippos eat my fridge? they eat and eat and eat and eat and eat, but they dont walk the dog. why do they not? where do the hippos go when i turn out the light onto the street? yours in-a-worried-manner - Fido Dido
they hid in the darkness with twigs plotting their return and sometimes they don't eat

i gotta go... to... the... zoo... for.... my... tea.... because.... the... giraffe.... ate.... my... crumpets.... and.... cofffee + tv...... damn..... him.... to.... hell..... can.... you.... help.... me.... i..... need.... help? -Fido..... Dido....
yes you need help

DC, I have been informed by reading the previous questions that my little kitten Sammy has gotten on and asked you something. I demand you tell me WHAT and WHEN he wrote this and what's going on!!!!!!
leave sammy alone damnit

Why does the phone taste like baby corn?
i'm not sure... perhaps you should do a re-tasting?

What do you think of Alien Ant Farm? i think they're pretty awesome but not that Smooth Criminal song. I'm damn sick of it.
i'm damn sick of that song too.. and it's a michael jackson song and since i haven't heard any of their original songs i can't comment on them

DC. I have a serious question. I have two enemies(who have pitted themselves against me) they're making my life hell. Can you give me some ways to get back at them?
well that all depends on the situation... if it's just highschool bullshit then just forget the whole thing and get a clue... if it is real life enemies that could end up killing you, then there are a variety of options available but none that i can discuss due to various restraining orders and probation rules

I was thinking about something. Do you think that maybe Sanata Clause was really meant to be a Easter thing and the bunny was meant for christmas? That way Santa, since he is fat, would not get to eat as many cookies.-- Mistofflies
i think that they should both be forgotten... and send me your money

Is it normal for me to beat off and then bust on my cat? Adam Morey
if you normally do that then yes... i don't think that it's very nice though

whats a good question? - Nike
not this one

i heard your remixes and wanted to know what you used to make them
i used acid pro by sonic foundry

would you remix my songs?
maybe if you send a link where i can get your mp3s to see if i even like them

Why is shit sofucked up?
that's the way THEY want it to be to mess with your head

who'z my love?
mel

If I was Canadian, would I then be cool, or would I just be cold? --Ted M. Berry
depends on the time of year really... and if you cheered for the leafs or not

What do the Swiss use for back accounts since everyone in the movies always use the swiss accounts? Personally I think that they use Columbian Banks. What do you think?
they just use all the money that others put in their accounts... they don't need money when they've got all ours

"and you were unchained" "wouldnt it be not for a change now, to be unchained?" hmmmm. two different albums, one band, one theme. can you think of anymore examples? - Fido Dido
yea patton seems to reuse the same phrases but i'm too lazy to think of it and for all those writing little "personality analyses" well then you can just shove it cuz i'm allowed to get tired and that doesn't mean that i have overall become lazier in my responses

hello. dang. i forgot my question. what was it again? oh yeah i remember! what was/is my question? - Fido Dido
your question was "Electronic chants tell me to rebel against the system to find a new course of history and can i send all my money to you people at theinsanedomain?" and my answer is yes you can

I am currantly living with 4 cats(i dont own them that's not possible, if anything it's vise versa) will this help me in anyway when i help the cats take control of the world? -Fancy Fork Flinger
yes it will help you greatly if you have been a good servant to your 4 cats

Um one of my cats is hugely overweight and quite stupid(even by human standards) what should i do with him? when the cats take control of the world what will they do with him? -Fancy Fork Flinger
pet him till he purrs and they'll keep him around to warm up things like blankets

What is the meaning of butter?
yellow

if you crossed a ferret and a backstreet boy would u get a member of otown ?
otown? and i thought that the backstreet boys WERE ferrets

are monkeys the source of all evil?-
no plastic and commercials are

im at a party and i have a camera, a vibrator and a friend asleep...what should i do? -C-MaN
turn on the camera, turn on the vibrator, then turn on your friend until they wake up and shove the vibrator up your ass then pull the vibrator out and then turn the camera off, take out the tape and send it to me

im attempting to eat a sock and my penis is stuck in the hole in the mouse ..im so scared and i dont know what to do...oh yeha i say teh sock puppet monkey and got aroused....what do i do i think my wang is bleeding?
i think it just might be and that you've made all your pets cry

ok...i have an asian friend and i need a good name for him...like a nickname..b/c asian, oriental, chin a man, and cat eater isnt funny any more..im thinking of chinese foods like, egg drop or wanton or maybe pork frieed rice...what do you think....help! C- Man
i think you should call him ralph... that is the best nickname for him

is it possible to have sex more than 100 time in one day and you penis not to fall off ..if so...cool..but if not what do you recommend for it to stay on..?c-man
yes and i'll let you know

Does Fido Dido have a life or does he just spend all of his time asking you insane questions?
i don't see how the two are independent... you can't have a life at all unless you're here asking questions

Why do they call masterbating spanking the monkey?--Mistofflies
i'm not sure... unless people used to spank monkeys for sexual enjoyment until they found out they could be taught to do stupid little tricks on tiny bikes

You gonna go now?
soon

DC! Did you know my little kitten Sammy came on here? Did you know I spanked him????
spank the monkeys not the kitties

i hit a skunk with my car. sometimes when you walk up to my car you can smell it, but when you open the door and get in, it smells horribly. i sprayed down the underside, front, engine- everything that could've been touched by that smelly stuff- with a high pressure hose, and it helped, but the inside of my car still smells like skunk, just not quite so bad. i hate it. it's embarrassing and annoying. how can i get that damn smell out? it's coming from somewhere inside the engine area or the underside or something, and it's wafting in through the vents (i think). i've done all i can with the hose. even if i spray and clean the inside, the smell will still come in. please give me your advice on how to correct this, because it sucks ass to have a smelly car. -seth
piss in it... that will cover the smell for sure... then fill it with tomato sauce and take pictures to send to me

what does "crunk" mean?
it doesn't mean anything but is the noise that is made when you back up into someone's car

do you like the white stripes?
no

if you had to fuck 2 members of the insane domain, who would they be?
cyan and sanimal... i'd fuck them both in completely different ways

There is a large reward for killing Bin Laden. I was just wondering if there was a similar reward for killing Santa Claus? If I do kill him, can I keep his elves? I'll even give you a couple to make up for Mzebonga's bad credit card. And have you ever eaten raindeer meat? It is quite good when barbequed. -gone postal
i will give you some pocket fluff, a remote for a lantren, some colored pens and a ribbon to kill santa and give me an elf... yes i have eaten reindeer meat actually...

DC, Why is my love life doomed? Is that my destiny? --TL
now if i told you then you won't be surprised

I've finally had enough of this crappy excistance. What do you recommend I do to put myself out of this misery??  jp
move to a new place where the walls are padded and where the drugs are plentiful and free...

i was walking home 2day and i was attacked by 17 geese...one of them bit my eye...it hurt. On that same day my goldfish winked at me...then died. I wasjust wondering...y do these bluddy animals taunt me?
17? you took the time to count them? sounds like you're lying... i think you just want some attention from animals because they all hate and ignore you in reality...

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