why do you want to beat me? :( i loved you, you know that, i let you whip me with your tail... <sniff>... why did you do this to me? why? and to think i let you have my purple... - Fido Dido
you said you liked to be punished... and even if you didn't... i enjoy giving out punishment... if you take it then i'll give you your purple back

the other day while eating my lunch which was saugage i got to thinking, when i eat a sausage a turd comes out my arse but when i eat a turd why doesnt a sausage come out?
you probably ate the wrong turd... try eating a few more and give it a few hours... if you still don't produce a sausage then i would give up on sausages all together

what does the sock monkey wear on his feet under his shoes?
well i don't know about anyone else but i wear my feet under my shoes

how do you think i could persuade my local copper to perform lewd acts for my mother and father
find pictures (or make picutes) of the local copper doing lewd acts to barn animals... and then blackmail the cop into performing acts for you mom and dad... then photograph that and send it to us here to put online

Where can I find naked pictures of Glordia Stuart?
well maybe you can ask sanimal to copy some from his extensive collection

Is it a bastard not having any opposable thumbs in a world dominated by a race with opposable thumbs? Do you have trouble using a knife and fork or opening cans of Pepsi? - Mzebonga
no i have my tail... it does the work of 50 men and should be petted all the time... oh and i don't like pepsi 

For that matter, just how tall are you anyway? Is that a full-scale picture of you or are you much taller? - Mzebonga
i'm not sure how tall i am... i'll check my license when i think of it... i am much larger in real life then i am in the pic

i said to the man with the big fat hat hey where did you get that hat where did you get that hat i would like a hat just the same as that weee woooo la la la la la i love sweddybob he is a man with a large large large thingy ma bob
this isn't a question... good thing i know Phil (the guy with the big fat hat)... he got his hat by stealing it from me

Will you share some of your people who ask questions with me because no one ever asks questions on my site? In fact, one of the people who went on to ask a question on my site, used a link and asked you a question by accident. Can you help a poor feeble fellow webmaster? - Mzebonga
well you are a loyal viewer... but then again thats more work for me and what do i get in return? in fact you should remove that area of your site, just have a link to this one and then work on the rest of the site... i mean this q&a is definitive so why waste your time?  maybe i can be bribed to assist you though...

Is the one eyed monset in Monsters inc. a direct effect of the over use of cheerios in sexual behavior?
yes

Did you know that the 7 dwarves were in a bed feeling Happy, but Happy got out and they felt Grumpy? Have you ever thought about putting a frog in a microwave, just out of curiosity? I know I have. BARCLAY
i didn't know that about the dwarves, and yes i have thought about it... what i've been thinking about lately is putting something in someone's hairspray such as food coloring or corrosive acid (enough to harm skin but not the bottle)

My pants are made of A Cryllic. Is it wrong to kill A Crillic? BARCLAY
yes... so very very wrong

What's that little gremlin thing on your Good Question award? I reckon you should give a little DC picture for a good question. BARCLAY
yes i have been considering changing that... i know it is not an orginal graphic by us and we have no idea were its from so i will be retiring it soon... we're working on changing a few things...

you know how you can tilt your head back and quickly roll it to the left and right to cause it to crack? well when i do that lately it causes an odd sensation in my arms that i feel all the way down to my fingertips... is that a bad thing?
as long as you can still feel then you can go right ahead and do it all you want... just don't be shocked if you suddenly go numb and can never walk again... but think of the great parking you'll get

what does the colour blue taste like ? *G*
kinda like rice with some sort of strange spice

how many moons does the planet mercury have ? ? *G*
none (if my memory actually works correctly)

how come everyone's saliva always ends up on me even if it's not directed at me?? -keglineq
it's directed at you... no matter what anyone says

would you think it would be possible to get hit by a bullet if you were sitting in a field milking a cow and a drunken guy came and fired a gun into the sky?-the on hoo cnt spel
absolutely... that's why drunk people shouldn't be firing guns and sober people shouldn't milk cows

i don't like that *G* person. can i kill them? -keglineq
not unless you replace him with another one

that was joanna who said about the BSB thing. what the hell did you think it meant?? -keglineq
i understood the hoodie bit... how the hell should i know that bsb stands for that shit?

if you crossed a frog and newt would you call it a frewt (pronounced fruit) or a nog (pronounced like forg but minus the fr and add an n)?? -keglineq
i would call it a frewt cuz it's better that way

i really really really like your shoes!!!!! -keglineq
thanks

i have a baul problem sometimes i go crap in my pants and everyone makes fun of me but I cant help it my muscles are weak oooopsies...
this isn't a question

It's Nanna once more! I really truly miss you my dear monkey. No! Your mother did not knit those shoes for you, I did! Remember? When you were a boy? Your mother ran out of you, so I raised you and your brother and sister, Kiki and Baba. they miss you! Come home.
no go away

hello DC. I was wondering, how much do morticians get paid, and do they really like their jobs? My father was a mortician, but he was a very secretive man...We were dirt poor, seeing as he drank all of our money away. He always smelt like fermaldahide, and sometimes I'd here him talking about a 'quiet and pretty women' he met at work. One time I even saw one of these women in the back of his station wagon.He went out there later on that night, they talked in the car for a bit. Then he said he was taking her back to work. I'm just kind of curious.
i have no idea how much they are paid but i am sure that some of them enjoy their jobs while others don't....  that was probably his girlfriend you saw because there are ways to fuck dead bodies

what is so wrong about the bsb???
this doesn't even deserve an answer

is smell the best sense?
not when your cat has stinky diarrhea

laura smells of cream cheese. What will drown out the smell?
urine

why the bleep did the poll not get registered?
i have no idea what you're talking about so i'm going to go with answer b) Blame the teenagers

i have become quite taken to wearing my attractive purple and pink lampshade on my head. ive looked this up on the internet and found that it is actually a registered disease (latin:lamplumierewearer) can you tell me what the side effects are?-the on hoo cnt spel
the side effects are that you wear purple and pink lampshades on your head and may be subject to beatings by those who don't understand anything different

When people see me in the street they point and laugh. It upsets me because my brain isnt quick enough to think of a witty comeback and usually I make a few unreconisable sounds before I walk off. This story is very sad I know but my question is how can you help me make some witty comebacks or at least make my slurred words sound remotely cool or vicious?
just ignore those people... don't even waste your time considering what they are saying... instead focus your energy into creating a machine that will weed these people out of society and leave just us insane people

Give me something witty to write! oh i no. no i dont i forgot. helppp me im losing my memory or is it just my mind?
it is all in your mind but my mind is what put it there

What is better, bananaman or super ted?
super ted eating bananaman

suzi just roled her eyes at me and i dunno how to put them back in her head!! -keglineq
eat them... you'll find the texture a bit strange but the taste is worth it

SuperTed is sooooooooooooooo much better than banana man so tell jo that mwahahahahahahahahaha
this isn't a question

recently i have been involved in an arguement about what it means top be alseep. i have put forth my view that it is being unconciously aware of your surroundings. i have then been told that i am talking crap and that i should shut before being taken to Purdysburn (this happens to be the local loony bin). i thought that was the aim of my answer so should i therefore keep talking in this way?
i find your argument flawed so i am forced to give you a 'meh' and a wave of my paw to dismiss you

are you more likely to get a green head if you write long questions?? -keglineq
only if they are not stupidly long with no thought behind it

where did fido dido go? -keglineq
it wasn't my turn to watch him

what did you last slave die of? can i be your new one?? if i am do i get the cool elf shoes??? -keglineq
suffocation... and yes... no the shoes are mine so don't touch them

When you get to me on that list of yours of people to be beaten can you go easy on me I'm sensitive you know? Sally
i'll make a note... but i can't promise anything

How can family members be so embarrassing? Butterfly's Crazy
that is their job... and it is your job to resist them and force them to just start acting normal... or just ignore them completely and make excuses why you can't see any of them ever again 

Is the messy hair and the I just woke up look sexy to you?
on some people it is kinda sexy... on others there should be warnings so you have time to hide

If you just tell me the best way to embarass you i won't tell anyone? I promise.
it would be to brainwash me and put me in a 'bsb hoodie' and then force me to watch 24 hours straight of tv when shows like popstars, survivor, (insert other reality titles here), friends, (insert stupid comedy about some stupid people and their kids), and of course lots of mcdonalds commercials are on

We are brats? Your one big brat I know you are.Sally
yes i am a huge brat... so spank me

So if we do it like they do on the discovery channel what would that involve? Butterfly's Crazy
well you get on your hands and knees... then i grab your hair and 'do you'... and then afterwards we never speak again...

Whats with that are you trying to impress me? Sally
well... i kinda was but then i decided not to

What so Jcp doesn't actually like you then? Butterfly's Crazy
what makes you say that? just because she constantly threatens me and beats me with my own belt?  that's just her way of showing her friendship towards me...

Sometimes it's not worth having a girlfriend? Remind me of the good things about girlfriends?
maybe you just have the wrong girlfriend... maybe there is a problem with YOU... and sometimes no its just not worth it...

Can you call me on Friday to organize that party?
my phone is broken right now so i'll have to email you instead

Was that you who touched me?
if you liked it then yes... if you didn't then no

You always remember the first, do you remember the first time I bitchslapped you? It was a great moment I thought. Sally
i remember crying it was such a touching moment

So has anyone sent you any money at all ever?
my grandma used to

No, thats not what I saw? Butterfly's Crazy
you think you saw something but you saw NOTHING

As if?
whatevea

I think you got it wrong again? Butterfly's Crazy
no you got it wrong by thinking i was wrong

Did we turn out alright?
considering the attempts of those idiots without minds? you bet we did

Do you hang out with kellykins and how come her name isnt on the good friends list anymore was she over it or you didn't really like her in the first place.
jcp hangs out with her and her name was on it at one point ... it was you we never liked in the first place

I kid around all the time do you?
sometimes no

Is it fun to push trolleys at stupid people?
yes... in fact the stupider they are the more fun it is

I had this lady come up to me and tell me how pretty I was and how I had nice skin and hair and to make sure I look after it. I thought how weird but also how nice, I would never be able to go up to someone and say that.Whats with up with people?Or should I be grateful for the compliment? Sally
be grateful she didn't grab your ass or offer to tell you the 'good word'... i would take it as a compliment... i don't know what possesses people to do this.. but as long as they're not harming anyone then i say we smile and say thanks

When you shag a human (if you ever have - and you imply you have) is that classed as Bestiality on their part? - Mzebonga
not technically... at least that's what i tell them... and you fell for it too that one night... don't tell me you don't remember... although i had beaten you unconscious at the time...

Help, I'm scared. Someone wants to move into my flat but I'm not sure if I can take the invasion of space. What should I do? I need the money pretty bad. Help me. - Mzebonga
get them working at a night job so they're gone when you're home... or tie them up and keep them in the closet until you can deal with them

Are you still waiting for me to write you a story? - Mzebonga
only if you pay me to

Would you eat green eggs and ham? Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox? Would you eat them with HP sauce? Would you eat them under force? Would you eat them in the town? Would you eat them upside down? Would you eat them while visiting Bude? Would you eat them in the nude? Would you eat them while in class? Would you eat them from my ass? Would you eat them at a hunt? Would you eat them with Chucky Pickles? Would you eat green eggs and ham? Would you? Could you? Sam I am. - Mzebonga
no i don't eat meat and i don't like eggs... but i would go nude... 

When the cats take over, couldn't all the compliant humans be allowed to rule over Belgium? - Mzebonga
no the cats want to keep Belgium as it is... they say they have other plans for the compliant humans

Don't you hate it when people miss a out of a sentence? - Mzebonga
well i was thinking about it understand it clearly now.

Beans on toast? - Mzebonga
only if the beans don't have horrid pork in them

The eagle has flown the nest. The weather is nice here at this time of year. I am here to meet with the Canadian Ambassador, I understand he has a comendation for me. *wink* *wink* Do you know the way to St Petersburg? - Mzebonga
well when i went there i took a plane... and it was damn hot and there was lightning every damn day but it was cool to watch

Why don't you use the word "bejesus" more? - Mzebonga
because i don't like that term

Have you been a good boy this year? - Santa Claus
no... so spank me big fat man

If I covered myself in cloth, could I be an honourary Sock Monkey? - Mzebonga
yes but only for today

But you said you liked bejesus. You lied to me. - Mzebonga
well maybe i did like it when i originally said it... but now i don't... i'm moody

Do you ever do anything for somebody without needing a favour in return? - Mzebonga
sure i do all the time... well ok maybe not very often... plus i can't assist you make your insane q&a better as i am under strict contract to not assist anyone else to make their site overshadow this one in insanity... be honored you're considered a threat by the evil blond one named jcp who says she will beat me

paul ate my foot. tell him to give it back. he always eats my feet. why do they eat my feet? i ate my feet once, but they ran off. who ate them? was it you? stop them chanting. chant chant chant. damn them all. - Fido Dido
feet are sick... no one should be eating them... and put some socks on but maybe i should change mine cuz they're starting to smell... yes it was me... but i didn't eat them... the chanting is your corduroy pants rubbing together when you walk

does the idea of being wrapped up in a large sandwhich and being fucked up the arse appeal to you in any way? - Fido Dido
in a small way i'd have to say yes... but not if it's a meat sandwich

Do you have any clue what a Fuzzy Lumpkin is?
no... maybe some sort of hairy country person who's been beaten?

Is it possible for the evil weasels to over take the sock monkeys? because if they did would we all die?
they could never be so organized... and if they did then we would all surly die

Hey DC, you're a resonable kind of, erm, sock monkey, so if you spotted Osama Bin Laden in the streets what would you do to him? (this should be interesting!) - BARCLAY
well i'd have to ask for ID to prove it was him first... and let's face it, i'd run any one of you people over if i was allowed so what makes you think i'd change my answer just for him? well ok, maybe i'd stomp on the gas just a tad quicker for him... but you're all human.. you all suck

say the cats do suceed in their quest to take over the world. who would open up their tins of cat food?? and wouldn't all cat food production cease?? they could eat mice i suppose but they would soon run out cos of all the cats. there won't really be enough humans left alive to open the tins and are you special to them??? -keglineq
'say they do'? of course they will... well if the cats were in charge, they obviously wouldn't have the humans continue making their food and shoving it in tins... you and i would be fed that way while we made them fresh food... the cats would make us do all their bidding... perhaps you will work in the kitty litter mines until you understand their power

i'm fed up with everyone here hanging around city hall and calling themseleves indiviuals while dressing like everyone elsse cos it's seen as 'cool' and the 'in' thing. they were those stupid slipknot and kurt cobain hoodies and i just want to beat them all and tell them not to undermine something that was just for a select few a few years ago. they ruined it. will the cats make sure they get extra pain?? -keglineq
of course, and they will do it publicly so we can all laugh while eating strawberries

Do you have a conscience? - Mzebonga
probably... there's bound to be one somewhere around here

Say "bejesus". - Mzebonga
this isn't a question... a slap to the head for you but no monkey butt... you're lucky this time

what is the meaning of life ?
to live and then die

where can i find pictures of chineese food?
i would imagine that a website would have this somewhere on that thing they call the internet... you know i hear they have that 'internet' on computers now

y is Mzenmobnga or howeva u spel his dumbassin name ask soo many stupid questions has he got nothing better to do ? *G*
sure he asks a lot of questions... and sure many of them don't win awards... but i don't see lots of monkey butts beside his name so they're not stupid... and of course.. no one has anything better to do then come to this site 

in star wa5rs u r the people human if they live in a 'galaxy far far away' ? ? *G*
who says humans have to only live on earth?  and maybe they just LOOKED human but were actually hunam

why do german women never shave their armpit hair ? ? *G*
never? so no german woman anywhere in all of time has ever shaved her armpits?  forget about that... i want to know how to obtained all this information and maybe tell me a few more amazing facts

y did king henry vii kill 6 of his wives ? ? *G*
jcp decided to step in and answer "you've obviously never been married"

what is with the english language? while studying oxymorons i have found that some examples such as, how can you act naturally? be pretty ugly? how can there be a same difference? or a definately maybe? or a great britain (hahaha). it's crazy!! -the on hoo cnt spell (typed by keglineq)
as for those who act naturally... some people are just born with that gift... the rest of the time it is just annoying people or people such as myself that are just trying to mess with your fragile mind

do film editors leave mistakes in on purpose just to annoy us
yes... or if they are just lazy

I think you have had enough spanks? Sally
for now i have

So in a fight between Mzebonga and Fido Dido who would win and why? Sally
the grape because it's green... because they're both insane and it would somehow end up that way

Why there hell are there such things as christmas parties? Also why do poeple fuss so much over them? Also why do people go to you, you have to buy a new dress and we have to go in a limo and you have to have your hair beautiful and you have to wear a tiara and some feather bullshit thing? Plus I hate christmas parties and also one more thing why is the free stuff always wine and beer ? The 2 drinks I hate.Chistmas parties suck , the only good thing about christmas parties is when others get drunk and you can watch them fall all over the place .This one girl last year got so drunk she was in toilets over the sink leaning over then she just fell onto the taps and banged her head that was a laugh.Okay thats all now.Sally
xmas parties as well as all holidays are designed to force you to see your family to be tortured by their stupidity... as well as watch your coworkers get trashed... or be forced to work with them knowing that you've gotten drunk and shown your ass to them while trashed at one of these parties... xmas is a pile of crap anyways and everything about it sucks besides getting a few days off work

What would you consider to be a sad site?
www.realdoll.com yet at the same time quite interesting and entertaining

I didn't know animals could pull hair?
yes... and apparently they have paws too

Why is England a bore and why is their weather always horrible and why is so exspensive?
well i have never been there so don't ruin the ending... maybe you should pay for me to go there and i can answer your question better

Are you going to get lucky tonight?
yes... and i say that hoping that you haven't named your pet lucky

Who's stolen my voice? I woke up this morning and it was gone! Witto
i did... i wanted to have a conversation with the one i stole from some other person

How shit are Westlife? Witto
on a scale of one to ten, with one being bad and ten being the best in the world... i would have to put Westlife under the number 0 cuz i have no idea what you're talking about

How wrong is it to keep a lert? You often hear of people having to keep a lert, but does this affect its basic rights? Where do you keep them? In a cage? Witto
cages are not good for a lerts because someone might get hurt... make sure that there is a clear path to the door at all times... you never keep a lerts, you just have them come and stay for awhile then leave without warning

Why haven't I quit my shit job? It's a shit job, with shit pay, and shit management, and it's shit, and even the shitters are shit, I hate shit, but I end up taking shit off the bosses and it's shit. By the way, did I mention I've got a shit job? Witto
yes you mentioned it... i think... and you do it because deep down you like the abuse and don't think you can do any better... plus you'll do anything for money

Are you a good driver?
the way i define good... yes

Do you like Nickleback?
i've heard a few of their songs and while not a fan i don't remember hating them... they're radio music... stuff that plays in the back ground while you do other stuff that occupies your mind

Got a big weekend planned?
i'm not real big on planning things... i just go along with whatever happens... 

If I gave you some pickles would you shut the hell up and leave me alone?
yes

So you are very uncoordinated then if you can't dance or ice skate?Butterfly's Crazy
pretty much yea... i can balance well though

None of this makes sense?
that is exactly the point... but then again... it does make sense if you think about it

Pink spandex is very undesirable why?
well, mostly because it's pink... and spandex... but mostly the pink

in days of old when knights were bold before condoms were invented, they wrapped a sock around there cock and babies were prevented. did your ancesters ever suffer from semen infestation?
i'm not sure what they suffered from besides life... perhaps if i travel in time or have a ghostly encounter with them then i will ask and let you know... i can't imagine that sock thing feeling to good for anyone involved... i mean their socks aren't like ours today so it must have really been shitty... although kids are way worse then any sort of pain

why is that americans are (quite rightly i might add) so angry about osama bin ladin but still were so ready to give money to the murdering bastards the ira?
i'm not being drawn into a political discussion on here... i think that many of the humans on this planet are living without their brains working... be it clouded by religion, hatred, politics, greed, or whatever... it all boils down to humans being nasty creatures who in all reality are a cancer on the planet... our governments don't work for us, the corporations control too much and if we don't get our asses off this planet and out in space, the whole thing doesn't matter because we'll all die millions of years sooner then we should in our own pathetic filth... and that's it... that's all you get from me

if today is the first day of the rest of your life what the fuck does that make yesterday?
a crazy dream that everyone else seems to have dreamt too

if i rub chicken tikka masala over my genitals is it likely to sting
if you rub it hard enough i'm sure it would

why do i find ducks and other water fowl so arousing
for you i think it's the webbed feet... they somehow arouse you 

dog poop is it all that it is cracked up to be?
only if it's been out in the sun long enough

is a dead fly called a flew?
it's called lunch for my cat

if i pulled the wings off a fly would it be called a walk?
it would be called you being mean to the fly and when it gets touched by radioactive material it will come back and rip off your legs and laugh

if sex is all that good why is it that all i get is cabbage soup and acne on my bum?
that's all you've wanted until now... asking for something new... maybe handcuffs and apples

oh mighty sock monkey please send me a picture of your favorite sandwich
i don't really like sandwiches... its all been a charade

why aren't you called Damien?? -keglineq
i'll ask my parents... that's a damn good question

what are the odds of a puppy getting stung by me throwing a live bee at it?? -keglineq
i'm not sure... but see how many times it takes and let us know

On my way to school it came to my attention that there was a strange moving thing inside the lampost i was passing. Do you think it was a camera to film all the girls who stand out there by night to try and get a few prostution gigs? Oh and are there monkey whores?
that is exactly what it is and you are very observant to have noticed it... and yes there are monkey whores

cheese or crackers?
cheese... but i should have said crackers

ever thought of dying your fur?
yes but then it would require effort to keep it that way... i'm too lazy for that and it'd look too bad growing out

Ok do you agree with this statement about duck tape:If you can't duck it, fuck it.?
right now i'm going to say no... but who knows... anything for some attention

I eat a LOT of chicken. I fear the cickens will soon rise against me, will they? Also is it so wrong to turn pens into pipes for smoking controlled substances? -Fork Flinger
yes they will so you should stop eating them... they're killing you by eating chemicals so that you end up eating them too... chickens are evil... and no as long as you don't keep the ink in there or melt & inhale the plastic

Is this a stupid question? : What would be an exaple of a stupid question? and they say the inly stupid question is the one you dont ask...FOOLS ILL DESTROY THEM ALL! -Fork Flinger
no your question isn't stupid... anything with a monkey butt beside it is a good example of one or the ever popular 'are u gay?'... yes please destroy the fools... and let me watch

i think my sinuses are trying to kill me, so far they have been minor acts of mischief such as suffocating me in my sleep, but im afraid they may turn to firearms or torture devices, what should i do? -psychotic_freak
cut them out ... its the only way

Suppose this is a hypothetical question...If you suddenly realieze that everyone in your neighborhood is part of a cult and they are trying to manipulatively get you to join it, but you cant speak out against it unless you will be eliminated, what do you do?
more like what AM i doing amid this town of people who think that TV and logos should dictate there lives... i take it out on you people who seem to enjoy it and come back for more because sometimes i give you a green head... it works out well for us all

my husband doesnot like oral sex.It is me who alwayse suck his dick.How can i equalize it or shoould i quit it?
well it's not about equal oral sex, it's about equal getting off... so if you both get off equally then do whatever you want and he doesn't have to do what he doesn't... but if he gets off and you don't... then i'd stop if i were you... but if you get off and he doesn't because you're bad at oral sex... well then i'd stop or learn to give oral sex better

Mzebonga, Fido Dido, Barclay, Witto ... are you sick of these names yet?
not at all.. i'm sick of names like Bush, Bin Laden and Brittney

I know this may be a sensitive subject for you, however open you may seem about it, but I'd like to know a little more about the mating habits of the sock monkey. You carry on as if you'd sleep with any old animal and ho, even with a human being, but wouldn't this somehow form some kind of freaky hybrid monkey-human, called a Honkey? Please set the record straight - BARCLAY
sock monkeys just like to have sex with things... we can't actually mate and have other sock monkeys... we are made, but not like the way you feeble humans are... 

CAN YOU SHOW ME A PICTURE OF BRITTNEY SPEARS WITH A CANDLE IN HER PUSSY?
no

what do you think of peanuts?
i don't like to eat them but that dog is kinda funny when he sleeps on his house...  sometimes mashed peanuts on toast is good with some honey

Where did you buy yourself?
i didn't buy myself... my mother made me

Why do sites like rotten.com exsist?
so people can go there and see the stupid things people do to themselves and others... some of those pictures are just so interesting you can't help but think about them well after you've seen them... and even tell others about it

I really hate trendies. I say we gather all the trendys up and make a hallocaust like concentration camp but with trendies instead of jews. Good idea huh?
that requires a lot of work... how about we just build a space ship and leave this planet?

can I eat the potatoes now?
yes you can but only after i've put some garlic on it and some grated blue socks

Your advice sucks and its not funny like it used to be.
maybe we should focus on how you're too stupid to ask a question

Im brave. Now give me an ice cream cone. Please?
all i have is vanilla ice cream... and no cones so just hold out your hands

What do you think of gorilla flavored ice cream?
i haven't had any but if it truly tastes like gorilla then i will be quite pleased

So you're arranging fights between your regular viewers? That might be a page in itself - the insanity test. You ask the regulars insane questions, we answer them and you can decide who is most insane. Can I put $30 on Fido Dido to win? - Mzebonga
it wasn't me arranging it but hey you never know... you have a good idea there though so i'll look into it

So, I'm a threat? I don't want to be a threat. When people become threats big capitalist style people start shooting at you and bombing you and... OH MY GOD!!! Why can we just live in peace? I can point people your direction and you can point people in my direction. And we can all be happy. Especially me because it means that people actually visit my site. - Mzebonga
a ball of yarn and some grated cheese is considered a threat... i would like to live in peace all alone by myself up in the mountains so i can push those goats off those cliffs... 

In reference to ducktape: I once ducked a young lady (just to keep her still and stop her screaming) and then fucked her. So the motto should be, "once you've ducked it, fuck it". Surely? - Mzebonga
well thank you for the view into your sex life... but let's get back to talking about duct tape... when you pull it off your arms and legs it hurts... i knew a guy who wrapped himself in it once and then ripped it all off... he cried

You live ina world without Westlife? Can I join you? Oh, please. Pur-leeeeze. Pretty Please with Spandau Ballet on top. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please? Can you at least kill them for me? - Mzebonga PS:- you were damn right anyway, they are less than bad, they are, quite possibly, the most godawful act that ever walked the face of this filth ridden planet.
yes you may join me but you can't speak or look at me... everyone is on my list of people to kill so i'm sure i'll get to them eventually... i still have no idea who they are but am assuming they are a music group of some sort... and don't blame the planet... its the humans that are filthy

So, thinking I would find a laughable site at www.realdoll.com, I went there. And then my dad saw it in the history page. And I got absolutely fucking shouted out of the house. Are you proud? - Mzebonga
oh i forgot to put a warning up about an age thing... sorry about that... but it does that popup thing anyways... and to delete you history in internet explorer go to your history folder (Ctrl+h) then select the one you want to delete and delete it... 

can i have a good question award? After what I gave u last night U better.
nah... it was good but not good enough for any sort of award...

Well I'm lucky I haven't shown my ass off to anyone when drunk,even when I'm drunk I'm somewhat alert enough not to do anything like that unlike you. Don't you worry I heard that story about you about that time when you did that really embarassing thing.Remember ? haha Sally
hahaha... ya you took pictures of it and we laughed so hard i wet myself...

will I fuck soon?
probably not

Why is it that people hide behide their lies when all they want is to be happy with the truth? -MAD
there are lots of people in this world who make it difficult for people to tell the truth... plus the Polite Police have been disbanded for about 2 years now... without them there is no one to lead the way

Do you prefer creamy peanut butter or crunchy peanut butter? -M
creamy... the other makes it feel like there's diarrhea in my mouth

I think banjos should be outlawed beacuse they make this really really stupid noise like some kind of distorted animal. What are your views on this issue?
yes... i had a cousin who was forced by his drunken father to play the banjo for us when we came over... it was horrible because he would have to play dueling banjos 

sa a dog is hairy so is a sweet in your pocket
you want to see the sweets in my pocket?

is it wrong to frequent grubby cafes just to retrieve the second hand bubbalicious from under the tables and chairs?-the on hoo cnt spel
no it isn't... that is a growing hobby besides collecting plastic bags

Oh, and there was a question about oral sex, wasn't there? I have the solution: Why not get Sanimal to suck her husband's dick? - Mzebonga
that's the best answer yet...

whos your favorite person who asks questions on this site and whats been the best question so far?
i don't have one favorite person asking questions but if you want to rub my tail while asking questions then it might be you... and there has been no ONE question that is above the rest

why oh why must thou treat me with such distain sire i love the with all of my heart i would do anything to be with you my lord will you be my betrouthed you are my lord and master i will follow you always
ok great... now convince the others

do sock monkey's bite? and if so does it hurt? and if so do you have to get a ishmabob shot, because they hurt alot?
yes they do... sometimes it does but it feels good at the same time... no shots

that isn't what afuzzy lumpkin is!!! it is a furry creature shaped like a cloud and and it has a unibrow and some have rabies....shows what you know! oh and my question is uhm..uhm how come weasels are soo EVIL???
that sounds like a stupid creature but then again i'm a sock monkey... weasels are evil because of their shifty eyes

What does DC stand for? what do you stand for? what do you sit for? - Fido Dido
demon child... insanity... hours

think about this...you know how everyone wants world peace and ya da ya da? well IF we EVER obtain world peace we'd all end up dying. be cause the government would stop religion and then no body could literally do nothing and there woulod be positive points to it but any way, and and then we would die because of to many having sex (not like it's a bad thing and all...) we'd starve and blow each other up when testing nuclear waste bombs (that would be cool) and then the sock monkeys and frogs and pixies could rule the land riight?
the end of religion is not a bad thing... it would free up a lot of people to have fun in fact... but anyways humans can not achieve world peace because there is no way that any solution other then death for us all can be truly peaceful with all of us not having problems with something or another... and the sock monkeys and pixies would leave the planet before the stupid humans start testing nuclear weapons (again)

How do we know if everything tastes like chicken? What if chicken just tastes like everything esle, like they are really clones of some race of aliens that use whatever they can get their hands on to make them, so what you are really eating is really some recombined mush of the missing socks out of our dryers and everything else you could possibly think of? -gone postal
everything does not taste like chicken and in having eaten chicken before but being a vegetarian now... nothing but chicken and other meats tastes like chicken... and that missing sock mush is damn tasty

Can you ask Sanimal to put up his naked pictures of Gloria Stuart for me? Thanks a bunch. I'll check back tomorrow.
ask him yourself... i don't speak with him much

I don't think you're actually insane, I think you're just an evil dictator trying to round us all up in one room and then gas us. What do you say now I've busted open your plan? - Mzebonga
nonsense... would you like to come over later? i have this really cool room that you'd like...

help i'm a shitty driver!!!... and drivers ed sucks what do i do?
stay off the roads and get used to taking a bus... there are more then enough shitty drivers out there as it is

does bob live?
yes he does... up in the mountains with adam and eve

Was it mrs. White in the study with the candlestick?
she was for a bit... but then i killed her with my hands and shoved her body in the oven... dinner will be served in about another hour or two

Just say "bejesus", damn you! - Mzebonga
i refuse... i resist...

"shut up and eat the jam." how do i stop them saying that? - Fido Dido
shove the jam in their eyes and run away screaming

Why do monkeys steal your underwear at night?
they enjoy it and you can get some good money for stolen underwear on the black market

why do i always uncontrollably crap my pants after a night of hot butt sex??
i'm not sure but maybe you should see your doctor

did u ever have a tuna taco??? if so what did it taste like? are monkeys allergic to tuna?? y can u tune a piano and not tuna fish??? y does tuna smell bad??? y am i obsessed with tuna?? oh yea, y do i like men?? -tuna taco king
no i don't... i don't eat meat and that includes fish... most monkeys are not allergic to tuna, but some are... i can't tune a piano... but i can play one... tuna smells ok not bad... you love tuna cuz its fun to warm up and spread on your naked body

it said i was supposed to ask a question or something like "maybe you should go ask DC a question now...." well fuck you, dc!
thank you... please come again... drive through... would you like fries with that?

yes, all your fans sign their names after questions, but not me, seth. i'll always be lurking in the shadows! you'll never know which question is mine! HA HA HA oh wait i gotta ask a question. uh... what's your kinkiest fetish?
we'll track you down eventually... one day you'll slip up and put your name in a question... one day... one day... and my kinkiest fetish is probably biting

i like me do you?>???????>< smile mark ;) yeah i ( bored cool huh watch &) huh huh anarchy in the UK COOL P.L.U.R. CAPS SOCK i'm a wicked harfcore PUNK RAWKER!!! eay me! ANARXCHY!!!!!!!!1 please don;t cut off all that at the beginning, iwas jusy plating. anyway, what kinda HATCORE PUNK ROWK do you like!!!????????
your question annoyed me... i can't say i like any hardcore punk as that is schizoid's department

that chick in nashville pussy has "eat me, princess" tattoed on her belly. is this a tattoo that you would advise against me tattooing on my baby daughter? she's 6 months old.
i would advise against tattooing anyone who can't pick out their own tattoo for themselves... just get a sign or that henna ink for now

Are we having fun yet?
not really no... i was at a family dinner tonite and you know... no matter what you always get stuck with some people in your family that just suck and aren't even worth getting to know

Yeah and I bet you hate it when I'm there to photograph your embarrasing moments?Sally
sometimes... other times it's good to have photographic evidence

Westlife are similar to human nature I think But I'm guessing. If they are then you'll want to be rid of them then? Sally
it sounds like i don't want to know anything about them so sure let's get rid of them completely

I thought I was your favourite ? Plus you always try to get out answering any question where you have to choose a favourite person.Is that because everyone will be offended no matter who you choose and never come back? Sally
no... i just don't want to have to rate people... i mean we're all insane and that's all that matters

I just noticed the new pictures in members section cool,whos idea was it to put the friends pictures in ? Butterfly's Crazy
it was jcp's idea and she is the one who did them

<img src=http://www.theinsanedomain.com/images/Main/being0j.gif> Do I rock or what?
you do not rock... 

Hasn't God Blessed your soul?
i haven't checked

Why everytime I go outside this wattery crap falls from up there. It gets me all soaked. my mom says God is crying, buI ts weird.
your mother is a LIAR and when it touches your skin it is slowly killing you... stay inside and read this website until i say it's ok to go outside again

how many times a month do you get asked what DC means?? does it not annoy you? i think there's at least one person on every page asking that. unreliable.. -keglineq
maybe once a month... once every few months... it doesn't annoy me that much yet...

Can I come to tea? How about in your tea? - Mzebonga
yes you may... and not in my tea

c'mon abuse me more i like it. i don't think you like me, well i hate you as well. noone seems to like you, wish i couldnt tell. c'mon! abuse me more i like. keep talking... it's true. Will you abuse me just one more time? -Empriss
you're quoting lyrics to me i see... well fine i'll spank you if that's what you want... you like it like that? tell me you love it... that's right... scream it...

i like the idea of an insanity test. but i think you should whip the programmers harder till they make that damn forum. and todays question is: did the frogs really do THAT? - Fido Dido, who today is purple
tell me about it... damn programmers... gonna beat them... and yes the frogs did do that.. i know its hard to believe but you must face the facts and confront the truth

###|=========> he ran away. The \8~|> Gingerbread Man. - thenameinthemiddleisFidoDido - they screwed with my mind, and put it back in upside down. poncho anyone? - Fido Dido
ponchos are fun to talk about but once you have one the thrill goes away

Ok DC, story of my life here. I am seeing this guy and everyone seems to know him. He likes to whip people up into batter and add things like blueberries to the mix, he then likes to put them in these little pans and bake them in the oven for 25 minutes at 350F degrees. Everywhere i go people seem to know him. He really makes me happy but I think he is insane. I think he may be the muffin man. DC, Do you know the muffin man? If so Go down drury lane and shoot up some houses for me.-Kitty
yes i know the muffin man and he can be trusted with everything but the sugar... have him make me some muffins

you're no fun.... can i have some more please? -Empriss Nikon
i'm plenty of fun... and yes you may have some more

no doubt i wont get a dino head. but dammit, why?! -keeto the freak
well the whole idea of the dino head is to reward those who ask good questions... and you haven't asked one so you don't get an award... plus i find your odor offensive

i am so excited i get to ask dc a question! YES!!! ok, i;m going to ask a real good question. witty, interesting. I AM SO EXCITED ok i'm thinking- it's going to rock, asking dc questions. ok here's my
damnit is it so hard for people to ask questions?

i like PUNK RAWK!!!!!!! punk music is the coolest. i like the old school shit, like blink 182's older albums. that's true hardcore there. linkin park is punk too, right? i like them. they're cool. anyway, i wanted to go to a PUNK RAWK show, but i read on the interweb that PUNK RAWKers have to wear leather and boots and spike their hair and stuff. it said that i wasn't PUNK RAWK if i didn't dress right, and that the REAL punks would beat me up if i go to a show not dressed. so far, i think i'm dressed punk. i borrowed my dad's plaid golf pants, which are size 44, and my waist is a size 30, so it looks funny, but it's still punk, i think. i'll just wear the belt i use in my church suit to hold them up. that thing said i needed boots, so i'm wearing my wading boots. they're red rubber and come up to my knees, though. for a PUNK RAWK shirt, i took one of my sisters blouses (that's punk, right?) and wrote HARDCORE PUNK on the front with a blue magic marker, and on the back i wrote IN YOUR FACE STUPID GOVERNMENT. now, the hair might be a problem. i think i'll break open a magic marker and mix it with super glue, and spike my hair. oh, and i don't have any spike bracelets, so i made one out of electrical tape, and pushed thumbtacks and the ends of plastic forks through it. i think it might work. will i look PUNK RAWK? will the true hardcore punks accept me at the blink-182 concert?
hahaha linkin park being punk... not on THIS planet... and if i see then i will be sure to kick your ass regardless of what the other 'punks' are doing to you or where you are... and don't forget to dye your hair with koolaid and a spray bottle... it looks great

I'm hungry for a fat cock. I need to beat niggers and spics some more. You nasty little whore, look what your brother did! CHINK FAGGOT where do you get off you fucking gay CUNT- asshole. I slapped the shit out of that toddler, didn't i?   will you censor any of that shit, dc?
i considered it... but you did ask a question... even if what you said was stupid and irrelevant... and yes you did slap the shit out of that toddler

how ya doin
i'm tired and sick of stupid questions like the one above this one

havin a good day
as good as any can be i suppose

how ya feelin
tired

can i have it
no... it's mine

when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie etc etc, is this a load of old bollocks or what? sweddybob
you have obviously never had a big pizza pie hit your eye... it hurts

if i ruled the world if i ruled the world what a wonerful place it would be. do you agree. sweddybob
no.... i think that i should rule the world as i am a loyal servant of the cats

ive got bollocks like large water melons is that normal< sweddybob
yes

i like to lick the cheese from a dead dogs dick do you? sweddybob
sometimes but i haven't been finding as many dead dogs lately

i smoke i drink heavily i eat shit loads of fatty foods my doctor tells me to regular exorcise to raise my heart beat at least twenty minutes three times a week but all i need to do is walk up the stairs to get my heart pumping and out of breath is my doctor a cunt or what?
yes, your doctor should be encouraging you to eat more chocolate and meat... or chocolate covered meat

oh mighty sock monkey how do you deal with bobbles on your magnificent skin?sweddybob
bobbles? i don't think i have any of those... i once had popples but then they weren't cool anymore

all i want to do all day is ask you inane questions is this normal.? sweddybob
yes it is... but make sure they are good questions

I WANT TO LICK YOUR BUM.? PLEASE. SWEDDYBOB
no... anyone who types in all uppercase is annoying

<a hef=><img src=http://theinsanedomain.com/images/Main/being0j.gif> Am I the queen of the world?<BR><font color=silver> Yes you are. I love you. Love,DC
no you aren't and you can't fake asking a good question

should i see a doctor?
if they seem interested then sure

if me knew you were coming me'd a baked a cake, baked a cake... will you have a piece with me?
no i don't trust you to be able to make a cake i'd eat... you can barely figure out the keyboard so you and an oven probably isn't a good thing

Do you think that they made a mistake in the bible when refering to Jesus? I think over time it was changed. It's supposed to be cheeses. Cheeses cured hunger.... think about it...
the whole thing became a mistake and at least it'd make more sense if it were cheese... but while it was walking around in the desert wouldn't it melt?

Lately I've become quite insane, probably do to the content of this site... My friends and I are playing a deadly game of roulette... It's getting quite serious... We gather around the table, each eyeballing one another and take turns openning our mail... Please help us... the thrill is just too much.. --- The Spoon
avoid your friends and just focus on this site... or convince them to come to this site too

how can i shave my ass with out cutting my anal sphincter?
try doing it very carefully with mirrors or get a friend or stranger off the street to do it for you

My favourite thing to do is watch smokers in the winter time... 'cause they don't know when they're done exhailing... What's your favourite thing to do? -- The Spoon
my favorite thing to do is listen to music while hanging with friends... especially if it is in ottawa

If life was really like a box of chocolates, there would probably be more people eating people...well raw anyway... Do you like chocolate? --- The Spoon (do you know who I am yet?)
i'm not a big fan of chocolate but sometimes white chocolate is ok... or minty chocolate

i'm having trouble falling asleeep so can u read me a storey?
once there was some bread but no one could figure out what was wrong so they went to counseling and the doctor told them they had repressed memories of being a chair which explained the flatness but what they couldn't figure out was why the eggs burnt when the heat was off so they decided to pretend it never happened which had caused the plastic plants to die but since it was tuesday it didn't matter

Which sorry excuse brought up Westlife anyway? - Mzebonga
i'm not sure but it's best if we all just pretend it never happened

Have you found god? I thought I saw him behind the sofa but I was wrong. - Mzebonga
i have looked and discovered i was looking for nothing... and is my hat behind the sofa?

Am I going to die soon? I'm guessing yes. Can it be during the best sex I've ever had? - Mzebonga
CAN it be? yes... WILL it be? not a chance in hell

I keep trying to think up good questions and I can't think of any. I think I may try for a monkey butt without asking "r u gay?" Does anybody want to join me? It has to be a question though. - Mzebonga
don't make me hurt you mzebonga... i'll pimp your ass out to westlife if you don't behave

Am I God? - Mzebonga
sure, but only for today

Have you ever eaten the cheesey stuff that gets caught under your toenails? (Or someone elses seeing as Sock Monkies don't have toenails). - Mzebonga
i have tried but get kicked in the face every time i try

Buttplug? - Mzebonga
no thanks

Did you ever wonder how good Mariah Carey is in bed? Did you reach the same conclusions I did: being that she'd probably be great if she shut up? - Mzebonga
no i have only imagined me severing her head and kicking it... she is only good dead... her voice is annoying... her face is annoying... she is just completely annoying

Can I have a gun? - Mzebonga
people like you aren't allowed to have guns unless you're surround by only stupid people... there is no excuse for cutting a smart life short

Can you ask Sally if she'll lick my nipples? - Mzebonga
i'm guessing that she won't... and i'm not asking her... she is a hairdresser remember?  she has access to many sharp scissors and she can use them well

Why do all the new questions just suck now? I mean, they're really dumb. I remember a time when i would frequent the site and enjoy lots of good, wholesome, quality questions. Nothing about butt sex, or some new absurd "play toy" on the market. This is not what sock monkeys are about. Is it? Please, DC, say it aint so. Do sock monkeys really just want to hear about weird anal probes? speedracer
i know... i mean there are way more which is good... but the quality has declined... and sure sock monkeys like to hear about weird anal probes, but not all the time... sock monkeys are about much more then that

Wouldn't you agree that green, blue and white are the only true colours? - Mzebonga
no... black, blue and red are the only true colors and yes i'm counting black as a color even though it is actually the absence of all color but let's not get picky... unless of course you're talking about primary colors which are red, yellow and blue

if bob say yes and susan say no then will roger ask if sue said yes or no when the tuna fish is done??? -Cornellious
yes... but if you ask susan she'll say no

i have a theory about where lost socks go!! lemme know what ya think. every night small gnomes named wally and harry potter sneak out from under the toilet and clib into the washer and steal socks. they then use the socks to make one humongous monkey sock puppet which will come to life and destroy the world!
that's an interesting theory but you aren't taking into consideration the riddle of the 'other sock'

i took 3 viagra pills 4 weeks ago and i have had a huge stiffy ever since. i was wondering how i can stop myself from poking everyone in the cheek with it?
put a warning light on it, paint it a bright color and warn everyone who gets near it

if you ask steve a question will he tell you to shut up?? - your pez freak
nine times out of ten he does... if he doesn't then it means he hasn't heard you

Don't you sometimes wish we were back in the 80's? When things were more fun and less serious. The years these days are to serious.
no the 80s were filled with stupidity and horrible trends... refuse the 80s!

if the speed of light is 186,355 miles per second and i sit in front of my computer staring at the light emitted by my monitor, can i consider my life a high speed adventure?
sure you can... i know i do... 

i'm sorry ,dc. sometimes i ask really stupid questions just to annoy you, or to try getting a monkey butt. i usually ask good questions, though. are you mad at me?
no i'm not mad... but i might be if you don't send me some money and some cds

me and my friend needed gas money, and i wasn't getting paid this thursday, so today we dressed like bums and washed peoples windshields on the busiest corner of our shitty little burg. people seemed pretty amused, and actually appreciated our services. it was fun, too. then a cop pulled over to us and flicked on his lights. he ran our names for warrants, and told us that soliciting on a public street was illegal, and that we'd have to leave. now, granted, we weren't really as bad off as a lot of windshield washers, but do you think that law is good, bad...?
i wasn't aware that it was against the law to do that... i see people doing that all the time... i think that it is annoying to have people coming up to your car... its hard enough not to hit innocent pedestrians much less those who come at you... if you can do it and make money then fine but stay away from me... 

is my girlfriend insane?
probably... you are too

Why do you and nearly everyone else who posts here do so with mispellings and poor grammar? You speak with explicit sexual references and have a jaded, cynical, and destructive view of life. Are our school systems failing us? What ever happened to common decency, intelligence, and self-respect? Can any of you actually use a question mark?
i don't misspell things unless i choose to do so on purpose... i don't capitalize my 'i's... but beyond that my answers are fine... and i can use as many ........... as i want... yes our school system is failing us because parents don't get involved with their kids and expect the teachers to baby-sit them all day... common decency is dead sadly enough, intelligence is among the few of us... self-respect has been twisted to make people think that shows like temptation island and popstars is somehow ok

So... what are Sock Monkies about? - Mzebonga
well we're all different... i am about being able to do what makes me happy

I want to be a good boy, I don't want to be pimped out to Westlife. Who knows what they'd do to me, especially that Bryan, he's a weird one. So what can I do to make it all better? - Mzebonga
find a brick wall and slam your head against it until everything fades to black... it works for me

I might lick mzebongas nipples but I would definetly have to charge.I won't use sharp objects only if you want me to and Oh how much should I charge? Sally
i would charge 200 hundred dollars and you should give me 150 of it

Oh and you can ask me anything but I can't guarentee that I'll do it or answer it okay? Sally
i'm not the one asking you and damnit people you're supposed to ask ME questions... is it that hard! (no sally i'm not giving you shit... just the others so put the scissors down)

have you heard of anti-flag? they are good. can i be a sock monkey? where do the dead people go? the sofa eat my tv. video not only killed the radio star, but also my car. damn the rednecks. poncho? not today, its a 12-gauge. AGAIN? wont they EVER stop? - Fido Dido
if its the one that www.adbusters.org uses then yes... no you can't... they go away... i have no ponchos but i used to have one... and no it never stops

I have this problem. It's a little sensitive...oh I don't know if I can...can talk about it. You see, I'm a big macho type, or at least that's what I'd like to think, but I've recently been the victim of vicious abuse from, erm...my parrot. You see (sob), he's got this habit of, well, talking, but he says really nasty things like "Fag!" and "Fudge-packer!", and I just can't take it! I'd just be sitting there watching chat shows and all of a sudden he'd reel off an impromptu insult...and not only that, but he also throws things at me, big things, like acorns and screws, and sometimes knives...what can I do? My sanity and image is at stake. BARCLAY
i say you take him out of his cage... snip off his beak and eat him for dinner... either that you take your parrot to counseling where it can learn to identify it's abuse behavior and how it's affecting your life so perhaps it can learn some anger management skills...

If yur such a miserable anti-sociable tosser of a munkey why d you have a website open o milions? sarcasm ifs there if you choose to look for it or if your not american
as if millions would come here... most wouldn't understand the humor... and i enjoy being a miserable anti-social tosser... so tell your friends and family to come here too

If I send you an envelope full of money and anthrax, would you just take the money and throw the anthrax in the trash, or would you forward the envelope, money included, to SAnimal? Are sock monkeys immune to anthrax? If so, what makes them that way? -gone postal
i would take out the money, lick it and then vomit in the envelope before forwarding it onto sanimal... i would think that sock monkeys are immune but we'll find out won't we?  i would think that because sock monkeys are made from only socks and fluff that anthrax would be useless... but then of course that white noise album was pretty shitty and i can't honestly say that i was unaffected by it

200 bucks? Come on, it's me. Surely Sally can do me a special rate? It's not as if I'm just some weirdo who walked in off the street, is it? - Mzebonga
yes you are some weirdo off the street... and this is ask dc... not suggest ways for sally to make money off you

How much does Sally charge for a haircut? How much is that with nipple licking? Just my right nipple only. - Mzebonga
i'm not sure... i'd suspect that nipple licking would cost extra regardless of what side... and this is ASK DC not ask sally damnit... 

Should I ask you a question now? - Mzebonga
yea i think so... i think i'm feeling left out or something.... oh no wait... i'm upset cuz this is ask dc and you're asking sally questions... yea that's right

I need you to be cool. Are you cool? - Mzebonga
at the moment yes because it is becoming colder outside and i should have dressed warmer

Do you love me? Will anybody ever learn to love me? I loved once, but I lost. I better that way than never to have loved at all, isn't it? - Mzebonga
no... probably not and that time you thought you loved... well it was all a hoax and besides love is just one of those things that you think you feel until suddenly you don't and then you're not sure what happened but you've got scars

Life always seem to be giving certain people bad luck. Do you believe that we make our own luck or even destiny? I would to know how a sock monkey perceives this.
i think that in many ways we create our own luck... but then by definition it's not really luck... luck is just when something unexpected happens and it's a good thing... so you can't really make it but others can set themselves up to constantly fail due to their own stupidity... in that case they like to blame it on 'bad luck' because they don't want to accept responsibility for their own actions... and if all that doesn't make sense then there is always the option of going to the magic wishing well and wishing for nothing but good luck and everything will be fine

have you ever smoked crack?
no... there are less harmful ways to get high

Oh and I forgot to mention that I wasn't pleased with Mzebongas sex acts duck taping a girl whether wanted or not is sick and anything we do will be supervised and he has to be duck taped across the mouth and to a chair .I just wanted to ask also would you supervise and how did you know I could use sharp objects so well?Oh and you can have five bucks and thats all. Sally
is this being asked of me or am i going to have to lock you and mzebonga in a room with some duct tape, scissors and a webcam

You just said that so I wouldn't go away? Sally
i never said anything and you can't prove it

seriously. go back, view the old questions, and view the new ones. Compare. Don't they new ones suck? Don't try and say my new ones have sucked, because I've been getting some good question awards lately.
many of the new ones don't exactly suck but they certainly don't rock... maybe people are just getting less creative?

again, i'm drunk. what should i buy on ebay?
you should buy this for me... or some faith no more stuff

i kill the lost. do you?
sometimes but then i forget what i'm doing and end up wandering around asking pigeons to fly me home

i (add a space) hate (add a space) me, so i think?
usually but last friday i suspect that you didn't at all

Hannah sim is extremely tidy, this is exactly the opposite to her real character, whats your sim alter ego like?
my sim alter ego is a burglar and it trapped people in the house to watch them die and then looked into the sky and disappeared for awhile

i have a problem. my dumpling has become extremly depressed. you see he got out of his little bath of gravy and hauled his soggy ass down to the box office to buy tickets. on the way there he had to dodge the gurbby mits of hungry children and run away from all the dogs that may try to eat him. he was very happy when he crawled into his meat house with the tickets. but then disaster struck. his fave band cancelled their tour and now he is in a very bad state about it. he never comes out of his house anymore. just satys in that carcass he calls home. doesn't even complina about the gravy being cold. what can i do to cheer him up??
warm up the gravy, grind up those kids & heat them up for his dinner... then force his favorite band to play while he eats and if they refuse then grind them up too so they can be a part of him forever

HOW DO I SUCK A BLACK COCK?
same way you do with whatever other color cocks you've sucked before

I would never harm you anyway alright only sometimes but because you deserve it don't you? Sally
sometimes i do and other times it just feels good... other then that no i don't deserve it

anti-flag are a punk band. where do the dead people go when they die? - Fido Dido ps plz spank Mzebonga
black flag was a punk band too... their bodies get buried and their energy does something more fun and i'm thinking of whipping him with a mouse cord

Can you make me happy? - Mzebonga
i could but i'm not going to

what dose monkey shit taste like?
depends on what the monkey had eaten to produce that shit... but usually it's kind of bitter

how do you tell if your beta fish is sick?
i have found that beta fish only have two modes... living and dead... there is no in between

what are the side affects of combining extacy and codine?
well your left hand might get a bit itchy, and i would assume that you would get a bit high

You are awesome. I gave 400 dollars to your thing. Now what will I get in return?
i don't see no 400 bucks... so i'm not doing anything

what would you do if I bitch slapped your momma
i'd organize a protest against you

is it a bird? is it a plane? it's superman! oh, no, wait, it is a plane... does superman really exist? if so, where? - Fido Dido
superman exists as a fictional character and from some commercial that was shown on my tv a long time ago... they say the guy who created him was canadian... so he exists in that guys head and anyone who has heard of him

ok, i have this disease called tunaunaphobiciola, in case u didnt know it makes me fear and be addicted to tuna all at once.is there any non homophobic way which involves lawn furniture circus clown and midgets that will get rid of my tunaunaphobiciola???
of course, but i can't just dispense that information without charging you a cost... that is the whole purpose of this site... to lure people like you with tunaunaphobiciola here and then milk them for all their worth and maybe their family's worth too

my mom says when she beats me with the paddle its casue she loves me, is this true??/
why would she say it if it wasn't true

what is the function of eyebrows? theyre only tufts of hair. why do people insist of plucking them? - Fido Dido
they are there to pierce... they have no further purpose

last wendensday i was melting army men with a lighter and one got atomically fused with my forehead. i was wondering if i could use this to my advantage and perhaps become a superhero. what would a good name be for me?
being a superhero is a big commitment ... you have to pick a stupid name, find a way to look 'normal' with a 'normal' identity, figure out a way to be contacted by those you need to help, design and wear a costume, deal with people who never say thank you but will whine if you don't save their pet goldfish too, and other people who just pretend to need your help so they can get some attention... i think a good name would be Captain Fatty Fat Fat Fat

yes or no?
no

Why has pop culture got such a grip on the world? - Fido Dido
people are stupid and they like stupid things

i have a theory that beacause they only hang out with children that, barney, ronald mcdonald, michael jackson, tony the tiger, and the trix bunny are some kind of pedefiles. do you agree?
in most cases yes i do agree

Why do some guys not seem to like affection, like they never want to kiss a girl. then you have some guys that just cannot stop kissing you, my question is why can't more guys be like that?? Is there just something wrong in their head or what?
because every guy is different just like every chick is different... and public affection is horrid and shouldn't be allowed

when the pilgrims took over the indians land why didnt the call for back up from the natice canadians
well all the indians weren't from the same tribe and didn't all get along... and their email was down that day

how can i convince girls my jock itch isnt really herpies?
no one believe that story... just give it up

mechanics of the hotwheels cars?
they have wheels and some of them look cool... that's all i can offer

were can i find pictures of women haveing babbys
there is no way i'd know that... pregnant chicks are SICK and so are babies

Why is it that people's taste gets infinitely worse once they pass forty? - Mzebonga
most people have no taste before they are 40... but lets face it... this whole thing is just a way to distract us from learning about the penguins building that spaceship all those years ago

what is the idea behind "education"? is it to indoctrinate and homogenise all us young "people"? or is it something even more sinster? - Fido Dido
well it began as trying to learn things and figure out things... but then people figured that they'd just take everyone else's word for everything and then parents sent their kids off to be 'babysat' and now the whole thing is about regurgitating things that dead people once said and having coke machines glaring into your eyes for years yet for some reason you can't wear a shirt with a band logo

theres a monkey in the jungle, watching a vapour trail, caught up in the conflict between his brain and his tail. do you agree? - Fido Dido
i would normally but day by day i see the way that the shelves are fitting together and sometimes i think that the plants are dead but then they're alive

How do you prononce the word ska?
s   k   a

The cheese in my house smells like well erm....cheese. My dad feets kind of matches the pong but not quite. With the cheese and the feet my clothes all smell very strangely. Not unlike a rotten sweet potato.I've tried soap powder mixed with a bee's saliva and lemon juice mixed with goats milk and nothing has got the smell out!!! What do I do??? - jonut
i recommend finding a chat program and asking everyone you can for their opinion

why are some women greedy and others are just 'nice'
cuz some people suck and some don't... that's just the way you feeble humans are

Where can I find Fido's Email? Could we maybe make a deal? Ya know, you scratch my back I stroke your tail... ~Pyro
i don't know i'm not the keeper of knowledge like that... no deal... but you can still rub my tail

What do you think of the animated band Gorillaz? I noticed that FidoDido posted some of their lyrics as a question "There's a monkey in the jungle watching a vapor trail..blah blah" I figured you being a fellow primate of some sort would have something to say about them..
i haven't heard of them... i think you are obsessed with fido dido

So that person you cybered with once would have been lucky since you never did it again?
sure i guess... the next time i do it i'll charge more

which chat site do you reccomend cybering at?
i have no reccomendations for where it's good to cyber at ... i use icq for chatting though

How can people actually think your doing anything when you cybering I mean hello who can type and wank/finger themselves at the same time?
well some people are just good at multitasking

Well I went to my work xmas party last night and what a show it was ,the amount of embarrassing things done was a halarious show for anyone who wasn't drinking.They were serving wine and beer the worst drinks ever don't think? Do you think that what people say when they are drunk is the truth?Just because I had a few people say stuff and you don't really know what to think of it all.I'm glad it wasn't bad stuff. The most annoying thing when people get drunk they come up and put theyre arm around you and nearly strangle you and you can smell their alcoholic breath damn its gross don't you think?The amount of people falling about the place accidently flashing themseves is also off putting as well . What do you think of the whole situation? Sally
i think that when they say things when they're drunk that its the truth to them at the time.... yes drunk breath is sick... i think that xmas parties are annoying but the getting some days off work thing rocks

my sister is obviously retareded as she has told the computer to remember her sign in name for something. now i can't get in to my account and i want to. when i asked her she prceeded to lie to me and told me that she didn't when obviously she had. when i told her not to lie to me she flew at me in a rage cos she's nasty and horrible. well as she was taking a running dive at me my foot happened to connect with her stomach but it was in self defence. so why then did i get the blame even when i dind't start it and all i wanted to know was how to get it off whatever she put it on? but anyway my main question is why did fido dido quote gorrilaz? -keglineq
put the computer in the bathtub and fill it with hot water... then everything will be ok... and enough about gorrilaz and fido dido

So since you don't like feet at all would like it if you had none at all or that they look different to what they look like now? If you would like them to look different how would you like them to look?Sally
i don't know how they would look better but i don't like the way they look now... i think its the toes that bother me

Since cats always land on their feet and jelly bread always lands jelly-side down, what happens if you tie jelly bread to the back of a cat?
you will be scratched and the cat will be pretty pissed off

Do you like beer? What's your favourite alcohol? I think people who don't like a good beer are quite possibly stupid. Isn't it true that people who like beer are stupid too? That's because every is stupid. I'm stupid. Have you noticed how stupid I am? I like being stupid. In fact, I've never aspired to anything else. Do you think I could be stupid for a living? I'm pretty good at being stupid. In fact, i'd say I'm better than you at being stupid. How do you respond to that, DC? How can you respond to someone being stupider than you? Narf! - Mzebonga
i used to like molson canadian beer... i have no favorite because i am allergic to it... those who like beer too much are stupid... many people are stupid for a living so you have a good chance at doing well for yoruself... yes you are much better at being stupid then i am and i can only reply by saying 'look at that shiny thing!'

hey DC. How are you?-TOOTOOGOO
i'm tired... like always

why are there stupid peopleon this earth to torture us? what have we done that is so wrong? I mean this is pure torture!!!~~Fugly
i searched for that answer for years but gave up... they are all just here to torture ME... we should somehow sterilize them all through the water supply but i'll leave the details with you

where can i buy a hurse damn it!?
maybe at a hurse store... that's where i'd start

Do you know where your going to? Do you like the things that lifes been showing you? Where are you going to?
i'm going to pass out on the floor in a minute or two... i think i've ducked for most of them...

how many ounces are in a pint?
quite a few

Dr.Suess, that boot, that moose. Can I choose, make I break my self lose?
yes you may but only if you say that you're okay

Is it time now?
yes it is

I know what you really look like...DC..You're no sock monkey. Your that nerd with the thick glasses who works in the cubicle in front of me. Your real name is Dexter Charles Hayworth II. Everyone in this complex HATES you! Stop spilling coffee all over the boss's work. It's not funny anymore. Ill have him cut your wages!
you've found me out... during the day i am dexter and during the night i am a sock monkey, fighting the evils of sanity and those little sugar packs that don't seem quite right... and no! i need every penny i can get

Is there anyone fatter than Danny Lambert? Witto
the people above me are the fattest people because there is no way that they can create that fucking noise by being a normal size

Why is thisonly the second question I've asked for ages? Witto
perhaps you are becoming sane... beware!

Can you send me a sock monkey if I give you my address? I've got my certificate of knitted primate competence. Witto
well we are looking into getting sock monkeys made but in the meantime... no monkeys for you

Do you like vegetable extracts?
sometimes

ahhhhh... i know what you did last summer... and what you did on that page where it looks like you updated it, but where you really just nicked bits from other areas of the site, mostly from insane thoughts and ideas... talking of sections on your site, i sent you that thing that i did for what to do when youre bored, you aint said anything about it... and on with the questions... has the sky ever fallen down? how does it stay up there? where is my leg? why did the blind man cross the road, dammit? - Fido Dido
that is what we did (well we did add a new shrink story) so that's why you get an award... and i responded to your email... and the sky falls daily... it just floats up there... i'm not sure... and he wasn't aware that he was crossing a road

where can i find out about the members of theinsanedomain.com? - Fido Dido
well i'm glad you asked... for years their identies have remained shouded in secrecy, but for today only here is the truth behind the members of theinsanedomain

how come we hear nowt bout Cyan? does s/he actually exist? or are you just playing with our minds, dammit? - Fido Dido
we are just messing with your fragile minds in an attempt to confuse you and have you question the meaning of sandwiches hidden in sofas... 

hello? - Fido Dido
hello? is there anybody out there? just nod if you can hear me... is there anyone at home?

Lyin' in a ditch, playin' with my boyfriend's dick, he thinks i'm a witch, but that's okay, cuz he licks.What do ya think about this?
i think that you should lick too

Why is it when you want to buy something in particular,you can't find it,but when you don't want that particular something, it is there?
the world is only here to mess with us... that sort of stuff is planned by people in green coats

did you compensate those sockmonkies for sock monkey porn??? and did they all agree to the exposure? i hope so. id hate to think that you'd have to go to sock monkey court.
them participating is compensation... and yes they all signed release forms and we obtained photocopies of their birth certificates to prove that they are of legal age....

Where in South Carolina can I find some hot looking asian chicks? I need piece of ass and prostitution is too expensive.
i'm not sure... i haven't been there ever so you should pay for me to go there and find out for you

Can I go on a rampage and kill everyone in sight now? If I blame it on SAnimal, will you testify against him? -gone postal
yes and yes

You are sick for spying on people,sick I tell you, Why do you do it?
they fascinate me... and besides... they've been doing some strange stuff lately... oh no wait... that was a dream

Why were those that were seen dancing thought to be insane?
yes... many of them were thought to be insane but only a handful actually were insane

Show me the photo for the butterfly caccoons
no all we have here are cow cocoons

Why is there not free midget porn mpeg samples?
there is

Can I call you toots from now on?
no... but from now on i get to call you SMALLY... so smally... do you like being called smally? do you think your new name suits you smally? will you insist you be called smally but everyone you know? yea i think so smally

Are you sure going down on a girl isn't the best thing? For her it would be.
for her i'm sure it is... but for me it's not THE best thing

How come nobody ever does it right?
they don't consult me beforehand

Whats the best technique for it do you think?
twice to the left then up

Why don't you sell yourself as a whore for sale to make money for your website instead of asking for other peoples money all the time?
i don't see the difference between the two... i thought i WAS whoring myself out to you all in the hopes of getting money

what would be your price?
i'll take 500 a week to start... after 3 months i want a raise

Aren't I just the sexiest? Vanilla Sky
not today... maybe tomorrow because vanilla tastes good

I hate ants they bother me why? Vanilla Sky
don't cover yourself in jam and lay in grass... you'll find that ants leave you alone if you don't do that

Do you mind if I kiss you? Vanilla Sky
not at all

When are we gonna see pictures of Jcp ?Theres to many pictures of you as it is and you know we all think your a freak,but you are special in your own way I suppose. Vanilla Sky
no pics of jcp she says... and here are lots of pictures of me

So how do you know that the people you've placed on your cool viewers list are one and the same people?
we don't... but then again... blah blah blah

Shirly Manson rocks don't ya think? Vanilla Sky
she used to but now it just sucks ass

Whats the best way to get out of an embarrasing situation? Vanilla Sky
screaming and flinging squid parts at whomever is within range

Would you have taken the red pill or the blue pill? - Mzebonga
i forget... i think mine was purple

So, I went out last night, and I rue the fact that I decided to have that final pint of beer. I was just wondering what the rational is that keeps people going back for more. The reason I ponder this is because, having logged onto the internet on my return fom the pub, I feel the burning desire to vacate the contents of my stomach. So, I did this in the toilet. I woke up about five minutes later on the bathroom floor and needed to puke again. So, I did. Afterwards, I staggered back to my PC to see how I was getting on. I fell asleep on the couch. Five minutes later again, I woke up and needed to puke again - which surprised me because I didn't expect to have that my left to puke. Finally, I give up on being awake and staggered to bed, where I woke up butt naked this morning. My stomach has been churning all day and my throat is killing me from all the acidic puke that washed past it. What I'm wondering is, what is the rational that causes a person to do this to themselves? Why, damn you?! - Mzebonga
cuz it feels so FUN!  besides... sometimes it's fun to hurt yourself because when you stop it feels sooooo good

to be or not to be, is that really the question? i'm not sure that's what he's trying to get across here.
the question should be 'why aren't i sending more money to theinsanedomain?'... if more people just thought about that and decided to send money... well i for one would be happy

What would you do if me, Sally, Fido Dido, Barclay, Witto and everybody asking questions turned out to be just one person who had a major crush on you and wanted to have your babies if he wasn't a man but now he lives in the box at the end of your drive waiting for the day when he can anally rape you and make you have his ass babies? - Mzebonga
i refuse to breed so if you're interested in that kinda thing then you just look somewhere else... and i know a few of these people through other means then this site... so you if you were the rest well then i would say congrats on your creativity and imagination to come up with these 'characters' and play them out...

I just saw on the news that some girl saved her little sister's life by providing a vital bone marrow transplant and then, because of the media coverage, she got picked on at school. She moved schools and they still picked on her. It got so bad that she killed herself. What the fuck is that all about? It's things like that which make be want to round up all the humans on the planet and shoot them one by one. You can oversee it if you want. Be sure, I'd save a bullet for myself once it was done. - Mzebonga
it is about people raising their kids WRONG and teaching them nasty things like that behavoir... as well as the stupid brats who behave like that... damnit you humans should STOP breeding... i am completely for shooting them all but just do it in one big swoop

Tell Fido Dido I can say "Narf" if I want. Shrimp? - Mzebonga
i don't know if i will eat shrimp or not... i mean does it really count as meat?

truth or lies? love or hate? cheese sarnie or just marmite smeared on a piece of scrotum? - Fido Dido
lies & hate and i don't like either choice as marmite is not something i enjoy at ALL

Do you want to interview me? - Mzebonga
not right now... maybe later

Hi there, very good website! hey, Look at this: <url omitted> I am sure you will love it! Rafinha
sigh... why do people feel that they have to send me jokes/links about this stupid ass shit going on in the world... i don't care about making fun of it all so stop sending me that shit...

What's the name of the cat you live with again? What does she look like? What type of dog lives next door? Does the cat like the neighbors dog? - Mzebonga
her name is anastasia... she is a tabby cat and her pictures are somewhere here... i have no idea and ana doesn't interact with the dog... 

will it ever end? - Fido Dido
it never ends... never ever ends

commet t'appalle tu? - Fido Dido
i'm very tired at the moment

Were you as sickened by the whole duct tape thing as Sally was? Or are you less of a prude? You should try duct tape sometime, try strapping down one of those sexy Sock Monkey women. - Mzebonga
well i have seen someone do that to themselves and when they ripped it off it didn't look very fun (although i laughed at him) so i don't think anyone besides someone stupid would allow me to do that to them and i don't fuck stupid people

Are things getting very desperate and sad if your dad begins to look for a girlfriend for you? - Mzebonga
things are desperate and sad when your dad becomes your girlfriend

Do you still want that story? - Mzebonga
yes... just wait a few weeks before sending it... unless you've already sent it and its sitting in my mailbox in which case we'll get to it in a few weeks... the end of the month is near and we have a lot of work to do with those damn questionnaires and what ifs for the moment

How do you make sock monkeys?
well you get socks... cut them up somehow, then sew them back together and fill them with stuffing into the shape of a monkey

do u have boy friend? have u ever had a gay friend?
no and yes

fuck you, dc. you didn't mention me under "cool viewers who come back for more." i've been coming to this site for years, and you know it, you cunt. -seth
yes you've been coming here for awhile so i have added you to the list...

Can you take me off the the cool viewers list? Sally
nope

What kind of show are you running here? Vanilla Sky
well we try to run a good show but the budget has decreased so we're working with less

you fuck me up, i'm gagged and bound does this mean that you will take your remote control and beat me with it?
yes... and perhaps get you greased up and play 'hide the pens'

why do the voices tell me to hurt myself?
you should do it... go on... well ok stop now cuz it's not as funny as i thought it would be

do you talk to yourself out loud in front of others or just when you're alone?
i talk to myself all the time in front of many people... or just to myself in my truck

what is your favorite song off of each bungle album
first - dead goon, disco volante - desert search for techno allah, california - goodbye sober day

how come schizoid has a different colored ciggerette then ver in the members part?
ha ha... gee i didn't notice they were different colors... i wonder why his would be green instead of black?!

Whenever I bend over, I shit myself. Why?
the plug in your ass falls out when you bend over so stop bending over unless you want to take a shit

Could Xena be the reason all married men feel the need to cheat?
well... that and the color green

i went to my teacher and said "jesus h christ" and she gave me 3 hours of detention... why?
cuz you were naked and shouldn't be interrupting the class with your religious bullshit

i think you should add 'teachers' to your people that suck list. what do you think?
well some of them do suck major ass... but others are ok

If you're Dexter during the day, and a sock money at night, does that make you some kind of a where-monkey? How did you become that way? Where you born that way or where you bitten by another where-monkey? Or where you the sad result of some government experiment? -gone postal
i was bit on the ass by a frog with rabies as it had sex with a sock... unless that's just my cover story to hide the hideous truth involving a pillow and a sock... the truth is out there

o.k here it goes i'm 16 my boyfriend is also 16 i've had sex once and him i don't know how many times(more than once).i want have sex with him but he keeps telling me i'm feaning because of how i talk &the things i say (i can't help thats how i talk)wat should i do?(dating for 3 1/2 months.
i think you're barely mature enough to come to this site and ask a question... much less have sex so just concentrate on not breeding by doubling up on those condoms... and maybe some pills... 

hey,do people actually donate money to your site?
no... you ingrates

Why would you want to pass out for?
profit mostly

Is it wrong for me to jab knifes into my arm?
no... and don't let anyone tell you any different

why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, oh, why, the fuck did i do this? - Fido Dido
you're a sorry little freak with no life... that is why... and that's also why your pillows ran away

where do the bits go that you get rid of? eg, where is the "contact us" page? ta much-a-lee - Fido Dido (and the elephants are what now?)
sometimes they hang out for awhile hidden from you people... sometimes they're deleted... other times we interogate them to find out the whereabouts of the forum we were promised

could you tell mzebonga to stop nicking my insane catchphrases, the fucking retarded excuse for a gibbons hoe? - Fido Dido
i'm going to sew you both together

did you know that ITV digital are giving away free sock monkeys with every set top box? what can be done to prevent this needless cruelty? yours, sincirly - Fido Dido
go there and protest with all your friends... bring many signs and be sure to bring along gas masks

can we insane people with names (me, mzebinga, sally, maybe witto) have our own question bit, where only we could ask questions, or maybe answer them? - Fido Dido
well for that sort of thing... how about you get your own website and do it?? but then you'd just be ripping this one off... so you should just keep coming here and asking me questions instead

Something In The Sky? - Fido Dido
yes... eyes

where can i find ways to annoy my roommate, should i ever get one? - Fido Dido
hmmm... well how about this list? and if you'd like a roommate then just start living in someone's room for awhile

<-------------------edge of the question. prawn? Fido Dido <--------------name. end of question -------------------->
<sound of me bitch slapping you>

thee. thine. thou. did he really? - Fido Dido
it's all lies and propaganda

George Harrison is dead... i'm so sad... but something.... yea, 'tis a sad day for the world... more sad than sept. 11... will he rise again? - Fido Dido
well if he's dead then i'll have to say that no... he won't rise again

would it be okay to permanetnly hurt and idoit/stupid person? What about a person who is just just.....annoying? Do they put you in jail for that sort of thing?~Fugly
yes they do put you in jail for that kind of thing... but at least you'll get a room with fido dido... he's been looking for a roommate

"Hi! I personally like a warm cinnamon color... but with a small room, it's not just the colors... its the whole room and everything in it. Have you picked a theme? Are you going monochromic? What type and color of furniture do you have now? What is the lighting like in there?  As for warm colors that open up a room (in my opinion and if done correctly)... well a golden yellow works, a warm terracotta, a soft grey/blue, and even a warm red" remember this? - Fido Dido
i have no clue what you're going on about but jcp who read this says she does... 
and says that she still likes a warm cinnamon color

what if your tail was to detach itself from you but you could still feel everything that happened to it (eg. if someone bit the tail you would feel it) and then demanded that you be it's sex slave and had to stroke whenever it wanted. would you become it's slave of pleasure cos you would feel it too?? -keglineq
well how about i find some lovely sock monkey to rub my tail for me and i'll get back to you

did you think you'd gotten rid of me?? mwhahahahaha..... -keglineq
to be honest i hadn't thought of you at all

I am still having problems with wind. Do you think it could have anything to do with the amount of potatos and onions I am eating? Also, I realise that my farts are smelling more of onion than ever but I'm not sure that it's relevant to the number of onions I'm eating. I say this because I have a pet dog and the dog's farts smell of Cauliflower Cheese. I don't feed the dog Cauliflower Cheese, so, do you think that the smell of our farts has anything to do with what we eat? - Fergus O'dimbal
i think that the smell of our farts is directly related to what we eat... and you should conduct more tests involving less onions... 

What happens when all the humans are dead? - Mzebonga
the world gets back to what it was doing before this unfortunate 'human' business

What happens when I'm dead? - Mzebonga
well you're dead so nothing happens... but it's party time for all the little worms

I love naked women. I never seem to be able to find any. Sure there are pictures but do you know where all the naked ladies are? Where do they take the photos? Or are the rumours true that the naked ladies are in fact clothed women in disguise? - Mzebonga
they are not in my place and that's all i can offer as help for now... if i find the rooms with them, then maybe i'll tell you... and that naked ladies in disguise is just pure foolishness

Will I get my weight in potatos for Christmas? I hope so, I like potatos. I'm going to put on weight to make sure I get more. - Fergus O'dimbal.
well i can't say for sure... but .... MAYBE!  eat up!

What would you say to changing your name to Mr Sock Monkey? - Mzebonga
the Mr is too formal... i prefer DC ruler of all

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