Results for 2001

if given a toothpick, a sock and some cheese, could you figure
 out the circumference of the earth in less then a year?


I think the popcorn is done. - Syko Grrrl

Of course... I'd eat the cheese, use the toothpick to pick pieces of the cheese out of my mouth, then use the sock to strangle the librarian at the library, where I then find a dictionary to look the answer up.- gone postal

i'd like to but i'm not the man i used to be...- Antihero

well, given that the triangular configuration of the lexical connotation of the railway station ministration transambuperlation specification has an approxamitation of 23x10²³km, then prolonguatation of the space station transportation govermentation ceasitation, then, no, i couldn't. unless, of course, i sold the cheese and toothpick to someone who knew the circumference of the earth.- Fido Dido

Yeah, I'd look in an Encyclopaedia, but why only a toothpick, a sock and some cheese as payment?- Mzebonga

probably...if not i'd eat the chese, pick the bits out with the toothpick, and soak the sock in something really smelly and make people i don't like smell it.- thecatsmeow420

no because the sock would be on my foot, the cheese would be in my stomach, the toothpick in my mouth and maybe sometimes (say 3 or 5 years) i might just go online and look it up... whatever- sslitherr

It all depends on the kind of cheese.....- Meowmix

it depends on what kind of chese im given... it would require either limburgher or maybe swiss.. but if i were given cheddar id be fucked- psychotic_freak

YES! I would take the toothpick and stick it above my ear for later. I would take the sock and pull a "Red Hot Chili Peppers". Then I would take the cheese, put the now-filled sock in it, and bury it deep in the ground. Then I would, wait...what was the question? Awe damnit.- Sputnik

only if it were blue cheese- SiNiSTaR

no. but id be able to stretch out the cheese until it's like string, and usinf the toothpick as a needle, make a sock monkey...a small one. then, i could send my cheesy sock monkey out into the world and who knows? maybe cheese increases intelligence and he just might be able to figure out the world's circumfrence all on his own. sock monkies are smart like that. or i could just go look it up in the library. that might work.- frazicus

no theres no way- Sally

only if it involved a dog and some silly string too.- Godless Wench

i would make myself a cheesy sock friend- keglineq

yes.- punphish But I could maybe start an interesting smelling fire.- Alysia

yes, but could i have some cabana and cocktail onions to have with the cheese?- Sexy Yellow Monkey Guitars

ill do it later- the on hoo cnt spel

no,i'd need a paper-click too- satan

Yes, give the cheese to Micky Mouse. Since Disney owns most of the world he will ask the leader of the Disney universe and i will sit there with a warm foot and clean teeth while I get the answer.- Mistofflies

Yeah, who couldn't?- Blunt

If I was given all those things I would build myself a little cart to go around the earth in, the cheese could be my seat, the sock my rook and the toothpick my gearstick, but then what would I do for wheels? Ah hell i'll jog around the earth, my stomach full of cheese, picking my teeth with my toothpick and scaring homeless people with my sock puppet who I call 'THE EVIL SOCK PUPPET OF HELL!!!!'. I could finish the job in 302 days tops- sven sven the sven

No.- Bollocks Ninja

Not without pocket lint and a splash guard.- Indomitus

ummm, no, i think i would need a ruler. duh!- bubba

Yes- Witto

i would put th cheese in the sock and lock it in there and wait for it to evolve into an inteligent life form then i would torment it with the tooth pick until eventuallu it will escape and become super intelligent and tell me what the circumference of the earth is- Ninja

It depends on how much cheese. If I unravelled the sock to one long thread, I could stick the toothpick in the ground, tie the thread to it, and measure a small amount of the earth. Then I would stick the toothpick in the other end and do it again. Assuming I can walk on water, I will eventually know the circumference of the earth in "sock string lengths" Enough cheese would keep me going for the year- grasshopper

yes. I could do it in a matter of minutes, here's how: eat the cheese for energy, pick teeth clean. go online and look it up, and if the socks clean, masturbate(im only human)- Chimpy

Less than a year? i could figure it out in less than three minutes. i'd figure it out now . . . but i can't be bothered.- Piranha

Depending on the moons gravitational pull on the fine peice of limberger.- Newman

Me want to eat tasty little sock monkey. Gobble, gobble.- Flabba the Slut

No, but I could make you a detailed scale model of a Sock Monkey like DC if you gave me a potato and a toothpick. But it'd be a waste of a good potato.- Fergus O'dimbal

No, I'd try to kill Mzebonga with it.- Sophie

sure id start reading an encyclopedia and stop when i was half way to the answer, use the sock as a book mark, eat the cheese for energy and use the tooth pick as defense against all the fools who dare to try and stop me.- Stupid Handle

no i could figure it out in a day....well as long as that sock would leave me alone- skelator, wally hernickle

yes- bob

no- megnolia

sure why not- stevo

probably not, but i COULD make you one hell of a stanky ass weapon of mass destruction. i would use the cheese as an insulator to keep it from setting itself off, the sock would act as the trigger mechanism and the toothpick i would use to pick the spinache out of my teeth. good dip by the way.- Empriss Nikon shithead

Yeah sure. I'd stuff the cheese in the sock, pin it to the ceiling with the toothpick and spin it round. I'd time how long it took to stop and multiply it by the size of my ass and...hey presto...the circumference of the earth.- Barclay

Don't be ridiculous. You know for a fact that any such undertaking would required two tooth picks. What you do it you take a toothpick and press it into the ground just before sunrise. At midday, you press the second toothpick into the floor at the extreme of the toothpick's shadow. The sock is to put on your hand, so you can talk to it and keep yourself company and the cheese is for winning favour with some small mice who may object to you putting a toothpick in their den.- Mzebonga

no but i would be able to get cheesey feet and be able to pick the cheese out myself!- emsy baby

Yes.- egg banditz

No, but I could make one hell of an hors d'oeurve.- Stinker

yes but only if the stars say that the cheese is simply to rotten not to eat and that the evil source makes positively sure that the toothpick is solid gold then perhaps...But is the sock smelly and isn't the circumference the perimeter?- Idiot Destroyer


i would make a toothpick and sock and cheese pi and everything'd be alright ;-)- roothead

yea sure why not- Dee

This involves math...and I just read your math teacher ramblings (oh, hell, they were funny)...math sucks major monkeybum so I'm not gonna bust my brain for a witty answer.- Vista

LMAO yahh almost- Killah_C

I believe i could with the assistance of my assistant, "The Assistant." First, I would cut the cheese into little peices with the tooth pick. Then, I would put it in the sock to keep it fresh. With that done, I would go to a busy street corner and ask people what the circumference is, and if they give me an answer i like, they can have a piece of cheese. Then i will carve into my flesh all the answers i get with the toothpick. Then I will use the answers to guess the real answer. To be sure that i got the correct answer, i would go to herman the squirrel and ask him, for he know all in the ways of spaghetti.- InsaneLane

i'd send the toothpick,sock and cheese to my neighbor and tell them to send it to their neighbor and then their neighbor would send it to their neighbor and then it would go around the world and come back to me then i'd calculate the time it took to make a trip around the world .... then i'd divide it by the time taken for me to walk across my bedroom then i would multiply that number by the number of bedrooms in the world(of course i'd do THAT by using the other sock, the rest of the cheese and my stephen hawking collection...)and that my friends is how it's done...) thank you, thank you, i'll be here all week...- marissa

no, but I could wip up a tasty appetizer.- Miss Roger's Sweater

yes!!! and I'd have cheese on a stick with a warm dick!!!- M.T.  Sakisbad

How many grams of cheese? what kind of cheese what color of cheese is it and does it have holes? how big is the sock, what material is it, what color is it? whats a toothpick? and how old is it? if the cheese was cottage cheese, low fat of course, maybe i could figure it out, but only if its the yellow kind. is a toothpick like a nosepicker? if so ... how does it work? one more thing ... where did u learn the word circumference? i made that word up last year! someone must have leaked it out... WHO TOLD YOU? WHO? hmmmm?oooooooh heads are gonna roll for this one .. Marvus -fetch me my datebook! yes you! GO! ill be back ... mister .. dont u worry about me *insert evil laugh here*- Powie

do i look like i pay attention in math- confusedmonkiegirl

yes, i'd eat the cheese to sustain myself, i'd get the answer from the genius next door, stab him with the toothpick then hide it in the sock and dispose of the evidence at the neighboring laundromat- Cookie

no because once the cheese was gone i would still be hungry and i would go to mcdonalds to get somemore food on the way thir i would somehow loose the sock and i would use the tooth pick to pick my teeth after eating y then i would have for gotten about it and passed out.- g.p.

Only if the toothpick was blue.- SilentWolf

If the cheese is cheddar, almost definatly. The chances are much lower with swiss.- Fred

Yes, because the block of cheese has been carved into a geography textbook that has the answer. But maybe not cause I might eat the cheese textbook before I get the answer. And then I might eat some ham. And Ice cream. Ice cream tastes good.- Guy

Probably. Or maybe I'd make a house/tent out of the sock and toothpick, then breed little ameoba sized mice in it, feeding them solely on cheese....until they took over the world.- Skelter

no, but i would at least have a now hat something to eat and something to clean my teeth with after i ate the sock.- LubisKo

let me think....Its difficult for me to think on an empty stomach, let me try out this piece of cheese. I just finished scratching my ass, i'll use this sock to pick up the piece of cheese. taste pretty good, needs some nachos. DAMN i have some caught between my teeth, i hope this toothpick is cinnamon those are my favorites. Nope its mint I'll deal.Well since i've eaten i'm able to think better and i would have to say no ii can't. But i could do a decent lamb chop impression and a better Razor Ramon. - ricidulous


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