April 27/05 (11:54pm!)
Answered by: Herbert

Are there Walmarts in Canada? In Europe? In Australia? In Alaksa? On Mars? On Pluto? On my roof? Ok wow I just asked a whole buncha questions I'm smart! PyroPrincezz (I burned a shoe yesterday and it was fun :D)
I've seen a Walmart here! It's big and scary and filled with bright lights. I've never been to Europe, Australia, Alaska, Mars or Pluto. Last time I was on your roof I didn't see anything except a tennis ball and a bird. Was it an ugly shoe? I hope so! I would cry if you had burnt a nice shiny shoe that I could have loved and hugged. I'm glad you had fun though! See how fun shoes are! Yay for shoes!

why do frogs fly overhead when the clouds are low enough for snow at 12:30 pm?
Um I don't know! This is the sort of thing thathinguywhois would ask. Are you related to him? Are you him in hiding?

First off I would like to know what is the absolute best song to sing when you are in the shower. that is just a side question that i really wonder about when i'm in the shower. then i wonder what do you think about in the shower? Do you ever think about that girl that got away? In a more serious tone, do you miss her? I'm sure she misses you. This one time, i drove down a road, and I was lost. Not really lost, i knew exactly where I was, but in a false reality I wondered if I was in love with a complete stranger... Have you ever felt that way? And another thing Herbert, (this is a more serious question, not that life has to be serious, I just want to know your soul, because I think that I love you. But don't worry, I would never stalk you. I would bury you with love, and passion, and a sweet emotion you'd have never felt before.) but the question is : Do you have anything in this world that I can count on??? ~ B_write
I have baths so I don't dance in showers! I think about bubbles, my tail, shoes and strawberries when I'm in the bath. When it gets cold I think about getting out. If I thought about lost love then I'd cry and that would make my bath not be fun anymore. I like to be happy when I take a bath. You can count on my hugs B_write! I will love you and hug you and even share my shoes with you! Yes, even the sparkly ones! You and I can laugh and have baths together, or maybe even a shower if you hold me up! We could even make a fort out of blankets and we'd be the rulers of shiny shoes! You can always count on me for fun and hugs B_write!

how do you prefer to fuck? or have you even fucked anyone eles? do you have any poistions that you would recommend? will you fuck me? ia m not too skinny nor to plump? is it bad to eat yourself out? r u ever horny? i am not usually this sexual bout stuff but this is an excetion and i need some anwsers. i like to talk and ask questions if you havent noticed??? *aeslehc*
I like it when I get to hug by a fire. It's so nice and warm and the hugging just makes it nicer. I would recommend trying different positions. Some are more fun than others but it depends who you're with. Eat myself out? I don't know how to do that. Maybe you can show me when you come over. B_write and I have plans so I'll have to tell you when it's ok to come over after that. Sure I get horny lots of times! <Blushes> Did I tell you about the sparkly shoes I have? You can't touch them but they're very nice. Mmmmm shoes.

There doesn't seem to be a very large amount of people asking questions anymore... so I think I will have to start asking them regularly again...what do you think Herbert?-bluemonkeyfearer P.S. A friend and I are currently working on a new story called Fribert and the Moles, and it might be done sometime soon. Make sure you read it when it is finally complete! Otherwise you would make me cry.
Your questions are fun bluemonkeyfearer! I'm so glad to hear you're writing a story, I like your stories! They're fun and have fun stuff in them! Will you put it on this site too? I'd never not read your stories bluemonkeyfearer, I'm a fan! Please come back and ask me questions! I'll give you hugs and everything! If I ever make you cry then you can come and kick my ass!

how does a guy get a girl to have analsex and get her to ask for it? I Posted by Ilikerear
I would think you'd have to ask her nicely. Even then, she might not like that idea. If you're going to do that though, why not just find a gay man? I mean, they like that and so do you. Wait a minute, you could be a gay man and not know it. I hope you're not sad and confused. It's ok for you to be gay. You should find out so you don't have to try to beg girls to let you. If you want you could come over and we could talk about it over cookies and ice cream. Mmmm ice cream.

my lady is acting crazy and I don't know what to do she keps rubing her ass on me....what do I do? Ilikerear
Maybe she likes rubbing her ass on you! You should ask her why she's doing that and maybe she wants you to rub your ass on her!

From which garment of clothing did your button eyes originate? (...like I don't know the truth...). - Mort.
Oh Mort you know that my cute button eyes are from your favorite pair of pants! <Giggles> Ok so they're not. They didn't come from anywhere else but from my mom! She gave me these and they're my eyes! I bet she made them special just for me because I'm special. She told me I was! I'll give you a hug though and then you can feel special too Mort. I saw your new picture in the about us section and you look like a huggable guy!

Are the food we eat changing us? There are so many chemicals in almost everything we eat and so many new diseases that nobody has any idea where they came from, it seems logical right? PyroPrincezz09
You're smart so I agree with you PyroPrincezz! Why do you have the number 09 behind your name? It is your magic number? I think it's sad about all the chemicals and then people want to take more if they're pills! We should start our own food company and make it good and yummy food! HerbertSnacks and PyroPrincessLunches. That'd be great!

herbert, why do you like it up the arse
Arse? What a silly word! I don't know if I have one of those but if I do then it depends on what you want to stick up it and if it feels good. If arse means my ear or my bottom, then maybe I don't like it if it's something sharp. Sharp things hurt.

What do cows drink
Water and grass drink. All the fancy trendy cows have that in sparkly water bottles. I tried to steal one once so I could have it and a cow yelled at me. I cried and begged for one but it kept yelling so I ran home. Cows are mean sometimes.

if i take one pill of ex..i weigh 97 pounds how long will the affect last and should i take one pill or half...?
Oh no! You should take none! You should have some HerbertSnacks and PyroPrincessLunches. They're not near as bad for you. I'll also give you hugs and then you'll feel super happy for many hours and for free! If I could put hugs into pill form, then I could make lots of money! But I'd rather go give real hugs. Mmmm hugs.

I have about 30 feet of that police caution tape for my small studio, what should I do with it to decorate? deevinn
Wow! That sounds like fun! You should have a bit of your floor taped off and put a chalk drawing on the floor of a monkey body. That would be funny! With the rest then you can put it around your room or hanging like streamers from the ceiling or cover one whole wall with it or make a costume out of it that you always wear when in the room! So many fun things for you to do, I sure am jealous!

*tap tap tap* Is this thing on? -krnk
Yes it is! When you hit the button it sends to me so I can answer! It's not magic or anything like that though. Unless the internet is really just a lot of fairys that make it all work.

Well Herbert you have repeatedly asked me how I come Up with my ideas, and I can only tell you that i was born with Disorganized Compulsive Creativity Disorder© DCCD which makes me very creative but unable to organize my ideas into anything usefull other than short blurbs on your site, many stand up comedians have this as well, and many would call it an advantage but when we have no one to help organize our creations they often end up going nowhere, but as a humble representative of our plight I say that I know when wierdness is coming on me when my imagination starts to swirl in my head and ideas suddenly appear in my head, I guess it helps that I am widely read and have an innate sense of fun and absurdity, any way why is it that you are so fixated on shoes, was your first sexual expierience with shoes invloved? do you like roller blades as well sandals?bye Herbert Thathinguywhois
Wow, DCCD. You even have something with an interesting name! Maybe I can help you Thathinguywhois! I bet you can do some wonderfully fun things if I'm helping. Maybe you can write me stories or something fun. I can read them while in my closet and snuggling with my favorite shoes! Thank you so much for explaining things to me and I hope I can help you! My first sexual experience did involve shoes actually <blushes> but I don't want to tell everyone about that! When you come over to give me your stories then I will tell you in person. I do like roller blades and sandals the same! Sandals make my feet feel airy and roller blades look fun and fast!

do you whant to go out?
No I'm tired right now. I'm looking forward to curling up in some nice shoes and sleeping for awhile. I am up late answering these so I don't feel real bad for not answering these sooner!

when your sitting down you have a lap where does it go when you stand up-deviousbastard
It is still there only hiding! It's a magic thing that appears and disappears all the time. My lap is fun when I can put things on it like kitties and pillows and chip bowls and shoes. Mmmm shoes.

We have one bathroom in the house, and whenever someone is using the facilities, and I have to take a poop, I'm told to just hold it for a little while longer. This isn't really a problem, but when I have to urinate it overflows in my hands. What should I do?
You need to get a bowl or something so that it doesn't get all over the floor. I know it seems icky to pee in your hands but pee doesn't have icky stuff in it really. It's not full of germs from what I've heard but was your hands anyway after. If you use a bowl, then it makes it easy to clean up and everything! You should have another bathroom, one just for you! You deserve it since you've been peeing in your hands and holding in your poop.

April 30/05
Answered by: Herbert

I have a question only few can answer....whats the best kind of pie?!?!........MmMMm pie *gargle*
Mmmmm pie! Pie is yummmmmy! I like lots of pie but the best, that's chocolate cream pie. It's so yummy and filled with sugary yummyness! There should be free pie here on TheInsaneDomain! Maybe I can make pie for everyone and someone nice can help me hand it out. Mmmmmm free pie!

okay so if stick figures took over the world and we ended up cross breeding would birds try to make nests out of the half breed stick full peeps? allso i want to know where is the bathroom?
Birds are like that! I bet they would make nests out of the stickbird peeps. It makes me giggle to think about the world filled with stick people in the streets and then them trying to have sex with birds. That would be very silly! The bathroom is down the hall. It's the only door to go into so you won't accidently piss in my closet or anything. I hope that's not what you had planned. Pissing on my shoes isn't very nice even if it does sound like fun.

what hill was the Battle of Bunker Hill fought? - Rudy
I thought that the answer would be Bunker Hill but then I thought maybe you were tricking me and there was no battle of Bunker Hill. It sounded fake! So I looked it up and it really is called that! You were being tricky Rudy, as it is called that but the battle was actually on Breed's Hill. Wow, see how I can learn to look things up! One day I'll be a smart sock monkey and I can wear glasses and say smart things all the time!

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis. Would you recommend that she have an abortion? -DeviousBastard
I'd feel very sad for the kids who were deaf, blind and mentally retarded. I would give them hugs so they knew that it was ok for them to be the way they are and they can be happy. Those kids will tell me if they aren't treated well and I'll help them to find happy places to be. I don't know what syphilis is and I'm afraid to look it up! I can't tell the woman what to do! She has 8 kids and would know how to catch me and give me a spanking! That's a lot of kids, I bet there would be a BIG shoe pile by the door! I could live in the pile and maybe they'd never know!

I will sign your shirt Herbert. We could even take photos of each other and get them printed on our shirts! Would you wear a shirt with my face on it? - Stunt Fox
Wow Stunt Fox that would be great! What a wonderful idea! I have seen other people do that before and I'm so happy that you'd want to do that too! I would wear pants with your face on them too! And socks! And a hat! And mittens! I'd wear the whole line of Stunt Fox clothing! Do you think we could make Stunt Fox and Herbert bedsheets? Pillows! Oh wow pillows would be the best!

I see that you are naked in that photo.. Were you feeling unusually frisky when that photo was taken? Do you still jump around in the nude with people watching? - Stunt Fox
Being a sock monkey means it's ok to jump around naked! It's great! You're a fox so you should be able to run around naked too! I do have pants but they feel weird and make my tail all itchy. I'm always frisky! I love that word, frisky! It's fun to say and everything! I will jump around for you if you'd like that. I can even dance to fun music and whip my tail all around!

is that why you were in tokyo?
Oh I've never been there. I'd like to though. I'd like to go everywhere and see everyone! I saw on TV there is a woman who has hugged millions of people! MILLIONS! Wow I was so amazed and I wanted to go help her hug everyone in the world too! She is my hero and I should look up her name so I can remeber it forever and save up enough money to go see her. It's Mata Amritanandamayi Devi. Wait a minute, she will be in Toronto in JULY! I CAN GO SEE HER! Now I have a reason to dance around and be all happy! Wow, hugging her will be like hugging millions of people! I can help her go around the world and she'll love me once she sees what a wonderful hugger I am!

what is japans currency
I know this! It's the Yen. I remember because it sounds fun! Yen! I've never seen it though. If you have some Yen then you should send it to me! I could send you some Canadaian coins or something. I find them a lot on the floor and in the couch so I'll have some for you! They have animals on them a lot and some lady who must have died for a good cause. She is on the back of all of them so she must have done something really big before she died. Maybe I will ask Poptart who she is.

Why, Herbert?!? Why must I be ill today???? Why must there be ooey goo in my lungs, ripping at my sore throat when I cough, making it even worse..... The pain, Herbert! The pain...Will you help me Herbert? -bluemonkeyfearer
Oh no! Awww I hope you feel better real soon bluemonkeyfearer! I can come over and hug you nicely until you feel better. I will soak myself in cool water so when you hug me, I am also helping bring down your fever! Poor bluemonkeyfearer! I'll help! Tell me what to do to make you feel better!

Do you like Dr. Suess and his stories Herbert? I do. I bet he was on drugs -Stunt Fox
He's very funny! His stories are all fun and they are fun to read out loud! They're like songs with pictures on paper without the music. All the funny drawings are fun to look at too. I would like a poster of some of those drawings to put up in my closet. I wonder if they make those? When we go out to get our tshirts and other fun stuff printed, we can see if anyone sells those posters! Yay, shopping with Stunt Fox!

May 2/05
Answered by: Herbert

So I take it DC isn't coming back to The Insane Domain... what DID happen to him? - Mort
DC is dead and no one liked him anyway. We should all forget about him and all the stupid things he said. You love ME now Mort. I'm much better! I give out hugs. HUGS!

In class I gave her a note and she didn't check the yes box so no, she doens't. That other girl likes you though. She wrote hearts around yes and even put her phone number there so you can call her!

Have you ever frozen mayo? What happens? PyroPrincezz
No I haven't! I never even thought of that! You must be smart to come up with such fun stuff to do! I will fill a glass with mayo tonight to freeze it and then see what happens!

Someone on your previous answers Took MY NAME! I DONT WONDER WHAT THE BEST PIE IS! I KNOW WHAT THE BEST PIE IS.... garrrr... of course i wouldnt ask such a stupid question... errr... im gargle.... dammit... im gargle and I'm not sharing.! Herbert make That person stop and give me back my name! and all the variations! like "gargleSwallow"GargleGulp.... argh.. thats me! Thats identity theft.. ... I got a case dammit! Herbert will you be my witness or at least put a stop to this outrageous crime against me? I Am Gargle! make sure of that.... the anonymous must be stopped.... must be stopped with your help... herbert... the one and only sock monkey herbert.-GARGLE
Oh no! I can't control the names on here and anyone can make up any name they want! Maybe they didn't know that you also had that name, or maybe it was you but you were having some sort of weird thing where you don't know it was you! I saw that happen in a movie once and there were two guys but really it was just one guy! That could be really scary!

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis. Would you recommend that she have an abortion? just a follow up on my question the woman in this question was beethovens mom crazy huh?
I almost deleted this because it looked the same as the first one I had answered. Next time you should tell me right away so I know and don't accidently delete it!

Good Job Herbert on the Bunker hill thing! it was breed hill the next hill over from bunker hill. Which brings me to my next question. Im full of useless knowledge and im afraid one day it may cause my head to explode do you ever feel this way?
No, I don't know lots of stuff like you do! I had to go look it up and everything! I don't remember stuff for long. I try to learn and remember things but it just slips my mind. Then I feel all dumb and silly. You should feel happy that you are so smart and can remember so much fun stuff!

So...my dad just left my mom and brother and me because he was "unhappy". And he left half of his sh*t in our basement. Wanna help me gather all of these things together and build a bonfire outside his new whore-friend's house, then put sharp objects and poisonous reptiles in his bed? - bluemonkeyfearer (in a teenage crisis)
Oh no bluemonkeyfearer! Big hugs go to you so you feel a bit better. I feel very sad for you and want to give you tons and tons of hugs. I will help you gather his stuff and burn it! You and I can burn it and stomp on it and maybe throw it at him so he hurts too. Then we'll see how unhappy he is! You can come here and live in my closet if you want, if you need a friend. We can do lots of mean stuff to him each day until he gives you lots of money and toys so that you're not sad anymore. I'm so sorry to hear that happened bluemonkeyfearer :(

What does fluffy monkey poop taste like?
Ew! Tasting it would be bad! I have thrown it but I washed my paws after so that I didn't eat it by accident. I don't like eating poo!

Dear sock monkey herbeert how do you like being both a monk and a key? does it unlock the dors of inner perception oh great swami? are you in touch on a personal level with hanuman? oh yeah and your cute in tennis gear makes me want to rub your tail and spank you with shoes thathinguywhois
Wow thathinguywhois, your first questions confused me greatly but I'm so happy you like my outfit and want to spank me with shoes! You can spank me with them all you want and then we'll hug after. I have a key to my super special shoe box but you can't have it!

why are sporks so hot? why are you so hot? why do i love muffins? why do i think boxes are sexy? WHYYY OH WHY am i in love with a cow named Moochelle? why am i in love with you?! :O is there something wrong with me?
Sporks are fun because they're two things! Awww thanks for thinking I'm hot! Muffins are fun and taste yummy unless they have hidden yucky stuff inside them. Boxes are fun! You can build things with them and put things in them. Moochelle? I know a cow named Moochelle! Maybe it's the same one! It's ok to love me, I love you too! There is nothing wrong with being happy and loving things!

if i dug a hole from the north pole to the south pole would i come out head first or feet first. Rotis

May 5/05 (It's 05/05/05 today!)
Answered by: Herbert

What does siege means?
When I am looking for what words mean, I go to this website and it tells me! You can use it too! I like looking up hug. "To press tightly especially in the arms." Mmmmm hug.

So, what is it with this place? I mean, DC was here and everyone asked about him, SAnimal was here and everyone asked about him, now you're here and everyone asks about you. Me and JCP are here and have been for longer than you have... How come no one asks about us? WHAT DO WE WANT? MORE MZEBONGA AND JCP!!! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Next Tuesday! - Mzebonga
Poor Mzebonga and JCP! I like you both and would hug you lots of times! I think we should have a huge party to celebrate how much you two are loved by all of us! We can have cake and balloons and more cake and dancing and games and more cake! I don't think it should be Tuesday, a Friday would work much better so we can stay up real late! Yay! A party!

I feed squirrels and birds in my back yard. I have been seeing two squirrels eating by my feeders and their fur has fallen off but their tail has fur on it still. And they are itching really bad. What is wrong with them I am worried. One of them comes up to me all the time and I feed it seeds. Help. I am worried
Oh no, that sounds very bad! Maybe they have a disease or your food is horribly bad for them! Does the food say anything about bad for squirrels? Are your neighbors also feeding them, and maybe feeding them nuclear waste? I saw that on a TV show once. A mean old man was putting barrels of bad stuff in trees. Poor squirrels! If you made them some sweaters or little jackets of fur then maybe they would feel better.

You left poor Rotis's question unanswered. You should apologize and tend to that right away. Why is my life so hectic, Herbert?-bluemonkeyfearer
What? Oh no! <Hides face in shame> I'm so sorry! I will go get it right now! How are you doing bluemonkeyfearer? You should tell me your address so I can send you a 'feel better' gift. I can't come and give you a hug myself but I'll send something else to make you feel better.

if i dug a hole from the north pole to the south pole would i come out head first or feet first. Rotis
I'm so sorry Rotis! I didn't see it there at the bottom for some reason, I think I had fur in my eyes! I hope you're not mad at me. You would come out head first! Unless you made the opening, then turned around and backed out of the hole. You could be tricky like that!

Oh my sweet love herbert, it makes my heart full of glee to see that red avatar next to my answers in the forms I filled out for you. I am happy to be insane. Now, for the reason I came to you. I was wondering what would happen if you were in Asia, and all the sudden, a genie came out of a can of tomatos. Is it a good genie? Or would it taste like happiness? Would I taste it at all????~b_write
I'm glad you liked getting awards! I'm not the one who gave out awards but I'm sure I would have given you lots if I had! Maybe JCP will let me give out awards sometime! I'd give them to everyone except for those who gave answers saying they hated me and shoes. Wow, a genie! If the label on it has an expiry date then you can tell right away if it's good or not! Sometimes genies go rotten in the can and you have to throw them out! I have never tasted a genie and I feel sad that I've never even had a genie. I try to save up my pennies but then I see shoes and have to buy them instead. Maybe we can save up together and then we could taste genie together!

What if there was no gravity on Earth? (assuming we still had some way to keep the oxygen from floating off Earth) PyroPrincezz
That would be tricky! If there wasn't any though we'd all be used to it and maybe we could fly! Wow, flying would be fun! I could wag my tail and zoom around! I'd give away free trips on my back and zoom people all over the place! You could come flying with me PyroPrincezz! Hang on tight!

Did they brainwash one of my best friends Chatlin when he went to a Juvenile School? Because now he's acting normal...which is weird for him... err..maybe its normal for him..no wait it's definetly weird for him because he's normally acting weird..ok yeah just being confused but ok yeah. Did they brainwash him?!?!? PyroPrincezz
Maybe they gave him lots of hugs and made him feel happy! That would be a fun place to go. I'd like to go there. Maybe I could open up my own school of hugging and then you can come visit me! You and your friend could go around spreading the word of the hug with me!

How do you grow good marajuanna what do good marajuanna seeds look like
I have no idea! I only have a small closet and it's not big enough to grow anything. Even if I could, it doesn't have a window so there would be no light! I bet there are websites out there to help you though. Maybe one day I'll have a window and can grow things of my own. I just have to remember not to hug them. I used to break my mom's plants by hugging them too hard.

What is the point in making me tie my hair up? What on earth does having your hair tied up prove? Herrrbert!! -Stunt Fox
I agree with you Stunt Fox! You should have your hair any way you want it! Maybe one day we can spike your hair and put colors in it that wash out (so you don't get in trouble). We could have fun and everything! Your hair could do stunts just like you do!

Do you have any evil twins we should know about? -Stunt Fox
I hope not! I will ask my mom to make sure though. I wouldn't want to have an evil Herbert running around doing bad things and then saying it was me. Maybe if I did, he would go around giving kicks instead of hugs. That would be very evil!

What do you think about the Harry Potter books? Will you buy Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for me when it is released? Please?-bluemonkeyfearer (I'll come live in your closet if you do)
You're smarter than me because I haven't read any of them! I have seen the movies though. If I buy it for you, will you then read it to me? I'll be quiet and good while you read! I'll even make popcorn if you like it! You can read a chapter each night to me before we fall asleep in the closet.

Where is the most fun place to go on vacation? -chris
Well I haven't been to lots of places but I would think that anywhere warm and where people are full of hugs would be the best place. I could wear some nice sandals and give out free hugs in the streets! That would be the most fun ever!

herbert do you realize that there are no bunches of sock bananas? somone should sew up some for you so you can be a stereotypical monkey and i will wear a lumber jacket and get a french accent so I can be a stereotypical Canadian Thathinguywhois
Wow Thathinguywhois! You are right, I've never seen bunches of sock bananas! I'll ask my mom about that and see if she can make me some. Then we can travel around the world and show everyone how wonderful we are! I'd give out free hugs and you could stand around saying "eh!" at everyone!

May 8/05
Answered by: Herbert

Are you a LOL?
You're silly! I'm not a LOL but I do LOL! If you don't know what that means, it stands for Laugh Out Loud! I giggle more than I laugh, so I GOL. I'm GOL right now!

Could you tell me how to deal with a co-worker who thinks she's my boss and keeps dumping her work on me? Hugging is not an option. – PRchick
Aw that's too bad PRchick! Maybe you should lay out all the stuff you do each day and track which stuff she dumps on you for a week. Then take it to your boss and politely tell your boss that she is doing this. Also, make sure they lay out to you who IS your boss and have them inform her that she ISN'T! If that doesn't work then you're too good for that place and should start looking for a better job. I'll write you a letter and everyone will love you and they'll pay you tons of money! Make sure you step on her shoes before you leave though. People like her shouldn't have nice shoes on ever.

Dear you, I pulled the head off my sock monkey and found socks stuffed inside. But, how come when I pulled the head off my brother I didn't find more brothers in there? Sincerely - j0eg0d
Dear j0eg0d, Why would you pull the head off your sock monkey? That's very mean. I hope you sew it back on or else it's sock monkey murder and I'd have to tell the world. Sock monkeys are made better than your brother, which is why you need to sew it's head back on! How mean of you to do that to a sock monkey! Unless your sock monkey liked it. Then I guess it's ok. I guess. You should maybe stop pulling the heads off of things.

Have you ever heard of the band SJK? No me neither. What do you think SJK stands for? PyroPrincezz
No I haven't. Hmm maybe it stands for Some Jiggly Knives, Soft Jumping Kitties, Some Jumping Karate, Silly Joke Killers, Sparkly Jem Keepers, Sandra Just Keeps, Sock Jam Kilt. It could stand for lots of stuff!

Umm do u know where I can get some tea and crumpets? Our friend Petah Potta is visting this summer - them brits like those sorta of things.
Petah Potta! That sounds like a funny name! Is he related to that boy with the glasses and the cape thing? What a wonderful cape that was. I wish I had a cape like that! I don't know where you can get crumpets because I don't know what they are. There is tea in the cupboard here though, I can steal it when Poptart isn't looking and send it to you!

If a seagull flies over the sea, and a bagel flies over a bay, where does a croisant fly over? SillySteve
It would fly over a creek! Wow, I feel pretty clever that I came up with that so quick! I didn't have to sit here for more than a minute thinking about that! If bagels and croissants flew it would be easier to get some breakfast in the morning. There could be toaster trees and maybe some jam bushes too! Wow, then outside would be full of yummy things and people wouldn't be hungry!

Ok remember my question about my friend being brainwashed by the Juvenile place? forget that he's back to his annoying hyper irritating self!! How do I brainwash him BACK to the way he was?!?!?!?!? PyroPrincezz
That's funny PyroPrincezz! Maybe you should give him some puzzles to work on. I find they help make me calm down and they're fun! It starts off with tons of little pieces of colored bits and then when you put it all together right, it shows a big picture! It's so fun! You should try it with him! If that doesn't work than ice cream should help. It makes you sit down and spend time eating it because it's so yummy! Mmmm I'd like some ice cream!

How sad is it that while housesitting I really missed computer related things--like the fast internet connection, larger and clearer screen, and Photoshop. McDiablo
You're so spoiled McDiablo! Awww I'm just kidding. Fast internet is what I was used to at JCP's but when I moved in with Poptart, his connection is slower and it made me sad. Now I've gotten used to it but I know what you mean. (I still secretly miss it but don't tell.) Now that you're back you can have fun with all your stuff and be happy! You should make fancy pictures for me! Maybe one with my face so I can put it on every computer I ever use! Do you think you could make me one? I'd be so happy and I'd hug you for weeks!

I'm going to Disneyland in 9 days. Should I bring Emerald with me? I'm just afraid she'll get lost or attacked by Minnie Mouse. McDiablo
Wow McDiablo! You get to do so much fun stuff all the time! Emerald is so lucky that you are so fun! The last place Poptart took me to was his room to make me clean up a mess I accidentally made in his shoes. Can I come live with you two? I'll be nice! I think she would be safe if you kept her with you on the plane and don't let her play alone by the pool. Minnie Mouse better not get near Emerald or I'll be very unhuggy and will have to go give Minnie very mean spankings! (Sorry for the meanness there but I want Minnie to know she has to be nice!) I hope you have lots of fun there and please tell me about it when you get back!

May 10/05
Answered by: Herbert

I'm going to Six Flags on Friday the 13th. Scary I keep thinking that I'm going to get blown up or something. Do you know of any good luck charms I could easily get and bring with me Friday?
Friday the 13th! I bet that you'll be ok, I'll give you special mental hugs to stop bad things from happening to you. You should wear lucky socks or bring them with you. Or maybe some nice shoes. Not everyone dies or has bad luck on that day or people would pretend it's not there like in elevators. They pretend there is no 13th floor but I've been outside and counted! I see that 13th floor and they can't hide it!

No one was able to go on a Slurpee Run with me tonight! What on earth were they doing that was so 'important'? McDiablo
Oh no McDiablo! Good thing Emerald is always there for you. I would have gone with you, why didn't you call me? I was at home alone in my closet and trying to figure out the buckles on the shoe I found outside and rescued yesterday. It's a lovely black shoe with a big buckle but I'm not sure if it's a real buckle or one of those fake buckles that are not a buckle but just shaped like one. I could have brought it and then we could figure it out together! I bet all your friends were off playing with shoes and not wanting to share. They deserve slurpee spankings. I don't know how that would work but it sounds funny! Slurpee spankings!

Do you enjoy the TV show "Family Guy"? McDiablo
Most times I do! There are some shows that are just too smart for me and I don't understand what is going on. I like the monkey that points at the older son, he makes me giggle! I bet that monkey would be fun to be friends with once he got a few hugs.

Speaking of TV, why aren't there more sock monkeys in shows? I mean, that'd bring the Nielson ratings up for sure. McDiablo
I'd love to be on TV! I could just hang out and give guests hugs! It'd have to be sock monkeys from this website though so that they're fun monkeys like me! I'll have my own sock monkey show and then all the sock monkeys are together! That'd be fun! We could have hugging moments and everything! You could come and be a guest!

Herbert have you ever thought about seeing things from the perspective of a giant squid? especially one that was given or made for itself a large floating tank so that it could be on land? what would it think of us?thathinguywhois
Your questions are getting really good thathinguywhois! It must be all those hugs I've given you to help you make sense! A tank for on land is a great idea! If they had wheels that'd be even better! They'd drive around all over and scare people or maybe visit landmarks and take photos! I'd want to help the giant squid if I could. Imagine the hugs it could give! I bet it would love us and give us tons of hugs. If it hated us then it would hug us to death, but what a way to go! Mmmm hugs from a giant squid.

What is the correct way to prounce "macabre"? I always thought it was ma-cob, but I've also heard ma-ca-bray and ma-ca-bra. – PRchick
I don't know how to say it either! I looked it up online and it says "Pronunciation: m&-'käb; -'kä-br&, -b&r; -'käbr&" but that didn't help me at all. There should be a sound clip so we know how to say it right! When you find out then you should record it so that I know! You could have PRchick's web site for pronnoucing words! I'd be there every day to learn new words to say!

I haven't sent in questions in a long time. Did you miss me? Anyhow, the other day, there was a beer commercial and it said in each pack, there was a coupon for 2 free steaks and then it said "no purchase necessary." Does that mean we can walk into the liquor store, take the coupons out of the cases or beer and then leave? -Hufflebunny
That has to be what it means or they wouldn't say it! You should go get some and then we can all have a big BBQ! I'm so glad you're back Hufflebunny! I'll give you hugs and everything! I'll even help hand out the plates and stuff for people to use and make sure everyone is having a good time. Free steak for all! Yummmmmm!

Why and how did pizza's originate
Pizza was first made by a domesticated tribe of sock monkeys in lower Italy. Their love for cheese was equal with their love for tomato sauce. <Giggles> Ok that was me being silly! I don't know actually, but you should go find out from a website somewhere and I'm sure it will tell you all you need to know!

should i bungee jump
It looks like fun! Make sure you get tied up properly! Can I go with you?

are you gay are you a lesbian
I'm a sock monkey and I love everyone! Even you, unless you're mean.

my freind adam has a dildo should i get 1 if it is in the craze? cus he likes kodey
If you want one then get one! Don't do things just because your friends do though. You need to buy stuff that YOU like! Maybe you could get a used one and buy it cheap so that if you don't like it, you can throw it away and not feel like you wasted a lot of money.

Only if we hug first! And we'd have to make sure we get along and that you're all clean and everything. I don't want nasty bits in my fur.

May 12/05
Answered by: Herbert

who manufactures the alien in jar such as the third and last items on this page: http://nawtythings.com/halloween/decorations_alien1.html
I don't know but I've seen one of those before! It is scary and weird and it jiggles when you shake it. Will you buy me one? I'd like a hug monster actually, does anyone make those? Maybe this year for Halloween I'll dress up as one!

wtf is this about?
You send in questions and then I answer them! Isn't that fun? You've already asked one question, now you can ask another! You could also send me socks and shoes. That would be lots of fun!

Why do they make sweaters with no sleeves? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a sweater? – PRchick
I've never seen one of those PRchick, but it sounds very dumb! What do they do with the sleeves? Maybe they try to make sleeve monkeys. Sleeve monkeys! I wonder if sleeve monkeys are nice. They should be. If I were a sleeve monkey then I'd demand the sweater that I came from so I could sleep on it at night.

If all the continentds were gone and the only thing left was you and your best friend tom n god came n said tom can have babies n the 2 of u had to make a new world would u become gay and do it or would u let the world just end???
Well I'd have to see how Tom felt about making a new world. If he doesn't want babies then I wouldn't want to force him to. That would just be mean if I did. We would discuss it nicely and then if he did want some then I'd make a nice crib for the new babies.

Why would you put porn with you in it on the internet dont you feel exposed and just degreating?? What made you do this??? KJ
I like to share! And it's not really THAT bad. If you think it is, you shouldn't be looking at it anymore! Plus I wanted everyone to like me and give me free hugs. If you give me free hugs every day for the rest of my life then I will promise never to be in more porn pictures that go online!

Now, those Jack Asshole letters may be weird, but I think they're a good idea. I mean, I used to have assholes from neighbours and I'm kicking myself for not leaving a rude letter on their doorsteps. Is there anyone you'd like to send a rude letter/note to? McDiablo
Wow McDiablo, I bet they were pretty awful to have you hate them enough to want to write letters. You could still write them and even mail them! I could help you! What would you put in your letter? I've wanted to write mean letters a few times but by the time I found paper and a pen, the anger had left me. You sould write those letters and scan them in so we can all see them!

How does a svelt looking sock monkey as yourself stay in shape? McDiablo
I'm not sure what svelt means but I'm hoping its a good thing! To keep from getting fat I jog around the apartment every day! It makes me feel better. Sometimes I chase my own tail around too. That's always fun!

What is one magazine you would subscribe to? McDiablo
Hmmm. It's been awhile since I've read one. Oh wait, MAD is one isn't it? I like that one! It has funny cartoons. I don't read the words though, they're confusing. If there was a HUG magazine I'd want that one. If there isn't, then you and I should make one! We could travel the world and have articles about hugs and everything!

do monkeys really fly out my ass
Do they? That would be fun! Well maybe not late at night when you're sleeping or maybe when you want some alone time to play in the closet but other times it'd be a lot of fun!

Why is kristy here? Why is Mr. Derioun talking to someone else? Why are people in general just stupid? Why do i think YOU (HERBERT!) are hot? I WANT YOU! I LOVE YOU! ash
Kirsty? I don't see her, maybe she's hiding. Sometimes people do that to me and then I have to run around looking for them. It's not always fun though. Sometimes they pretend they're hiding but they've actually gone home. Maybe Mr Derioun is talking to people who are hiding too! I don't know why people are stupid though, if I did then I would figure out how to cure them with hugs! Awww you're making me blush! You should come over and hang out with me in my closet and I can you give you hugs!

Where do you live Herbert?? How old are you?? Are you married?? If not want to marry me??? We can have bunches of lovin's and childern??? And hate our in-laws together?? Baby Gurl!!
I live in Ottawa! It's the capital of Canada! I'm old enough to play with others in my closet and no I'm not married! We don't know each other to get married but we can be friends and hang out until we do want to marry! Do you like shoes? We could put them in piles and play with them together instead of all that hating in-laws!

how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would?
If the wood chuck was Chuck Wood then I would think he could chuck a lot of wood! Maybe he would have a wood chucking party and we could all chuck wood.

Hey Herbert, things have gotten completely out of control politicaly in Canada. Since you live in Ottawa could you and some of your sock monkey friends take over the House of Commons? I know you and your friends could do a much better job than the Fn 'Tards that are NOT running it now! > hug & and a pat on the butt for you ! - MariE
Aww thanks MariE! Your vote is important to me! <Giggles> I could go on TV and say fun things and then make people hug! What a fun job that would be, Prime Minister Herbert! That boring government channel on the tv would be fun to watch then!

If you had to choose, hugs or tail rubs, which one would you choose to go without for the rest of your life? Capt. Quebec
Oh no Capt. Quebec, that would be horrible to not be able to do either! I don't even want to think about it!

Ich denke, daß Sie reizvoll sind ! Wurde Sie mögen eine Socke Affe-Endstückunebenheit? Johann
Hi Johann! I don't know what you've typed because I only know one language. I really should go to sock monkey school and learn more. I feel dumb for only knowing one language! There are so many!

May 15/05
Answered by: Herbert

is there anyother way to masterbait then ur hand ? if yes tell me
I have a tail! You should get a tail too. It really is wonderful. It can grip things, poke into things and everything! <Giggles> My tail is my favorite thing. It fits into shoes too. Mmmm tail in shoes. Mmmmmmmmm.

For a long time there were no mirrors and then someone made some. Yay! I'm glad they did. Mirrors are shiny and fun! You've always got a friend when you've got a mirror.

what color is your poop
Today it was a light brown! I don't know what I ate to make it that color but it was fun and creamy. Don't worry, I didn't put my paws in it or anything, I'm not like that!

where do babies come from
They come from all over the place! Baby squirrels, baby chipmunks, baby humans, baby trees, baby monkeys, baby toads and baby sock monkeys! It's great!

why doesnt anyone talk abuot lucipher the Devil on this cite god stingks ps.im gonna rip out your fluff tonight Herbert na im just kiding
You had me feeling sort of funny in my tummy there for a minute! I don't know much about Lucifer but see I know his name to spell it right! You can come over and spank me or play with my tail if you want instead of ripping out my fluff!

hi herbert i just moved back home and i want to show everyone how amture i am now so what do you think? from staver
Hi staver! You should wear a suit and tie! Anyone who wears that looks very mature! One time I wore a tie and I was called sir! It felt so good to be called that but then I giggled and sirs don't giggle so then I had to run away.

what did you do this weekend? I didn't do anything fun but I bet youdid!
Sure I had a bit of fun! I sorted through my shoes to make sure that all of them were still there. Sometimes they go missing because I forget to bring them back to the closet when I'm done. Mmmm shoes.

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