April 3/05
Answered by: Herbert

I got twenty pairs of socks and each one except the charles talks to me, how should i help him over come his shyness?
Wow you sure are popular! I think to get the charles to talk, you need to take it out for some dinner. Spend some alone time with it and make it see that you know how special it is and how you're willing to get to know it. I bet that with just a bit of effort you will have a friendship with it that will last forever. It makes me a bit jealous so I might have to go get some socks to talk to after I'm done answering these questions. You're never alone when you've got socks!

Have you ever wanted to make your own reality show? Wouldn't that be so cool? I think it would..but if you did make your own reality show what would you call it and what would the people do? PyroPrincezz (Aka Bored BlondeChick (I changed my name))
My own reality show would be fun! I could do what I normally do and then people would watch! I could have friends all over the world watch me. It wouldn't be one of those fake shows either, I'd still be fun and everything. I could even show off my shoe collection. People could come and visit and bring me shoes! I could invite all of you to come over for pizza and dancing! I'd called it Herbertv. Is that clever? Maybe not, maybe The Herbert Show. That would work! You could come over and we could discuss new usernames for you and how you'll have to still use BoredBlondChick because I'm just a silly sock monkey who doesn't remember all your new names.

Your website is a GOOGLE WACK. (meaning on google two words bring up only 1 domain) Do you know why the two words would be antidisastablishmentarianism and sap?
I didn't know that! That big long word I don't even know, is it real? Maybe the internet is making it happen for fun. I'd like a tshirt that says GOOGLE WACK. It's funny to say!

Thank you for offering to marry me so I could move to Canada! When would you like to do it? I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday, but otherwise I'm free. PRchick
Oh wow a wedding! I'd have to plan something really nice. We can wear fancy outfits and find special new shoes to wear. I'd invite all my shoes and sock monkey friends! We'll have the biggest party ever! I'm so happy I have tears! Everyone here is invited!

Have you ever had a violent physical reaction to an exceptionally good or exceptionally bad question? - Mzebonga
Hi Mzebonga! I have in a good way a few times if you can call that sort of thing violent. Those photos you sent me of your feet in different shoes made me react in a good and violent way. Just thinking about them makes me react.

May I apologize for my recent dissappearence. Spring break has come and I've been a very busy man. While the topic of spring break is still there, what have you been up to the past week or so ?-me*hug*
Well I did miss you but you don't have to say sorry! I'm happy to hear you were having fun so that you can tell me all about it! Last week I took out all my shoes and cleaned them. I even put some nice smelling socks in them so they'd smell nice too. I also went out for food with a sock monkey friend and found a free balloon. It's all saggy and deflated now but it's a bright yellow so I'm going to keep it a bit longer. Soon it will fit into a shoe! What sort of fun things did you do?

Did anyone play any mean April Fools Jokes on you, this year? -Hufflebunny
No and I'm very happy! I don't like it when people play mean jokes on me. It makes me cry and then I feel really stupid and want to go hide. I hope no one did anything mean to you either! It should be April hug day so that no one feels stupid or has to cry.

How come the links changed from white, then gray when you already clicked on them to gray, then white when you've clicked on them? Or am I just colorblind?-bluemonkeyfearer
You're so smart bluemonkeyfearer! I didn't even notice! I don't know how that happens but it's fun to see it change color. If you find anything else that is fun you make sure you tell me! I don't notice things like you do! The only thing I've found out recently is that coffee beans may look nice a yummy but they taste really really bad.

What would you do if you won a giant golden taco? BoredBlondChick
I'd invite everyone over and tell them to bring sour cream! Then we could have yummy giant golden taco and maybe some milkshakes too! Maybe after we're done eating we can play games! Wow, winning a big taco, is that really possible? What a wonderful day that would be.

Should they make sharpie and nailpolish smelling perfumes? Wouldn't that be cool? Because honestly I think those are the best brain cell killing smells in the world. SexxiiLoser
Can't it smell good without killing brain cells? I think then I'd like gasoline smelling perfumes. I would buy the pack of them and then I could smell like something different each day. Multipack perfumes! Then you could have lots to pick from depending on what you want to smell like. Most times I'd want to smell nice but sometimes gasoline or nailpolish smell would make me happy.

Do you know the muffin man who lives on Druery Lane? Do you know the ice cream man? Do you know the bad man that sleeps outside my window? Thingamagij
If I knew the muffin man or the ice cream man I'd be hanging out with them and getting us all free muffins and ice cream! Yummm I want muffins and ice cream right now! If you want I can sleep outside of your window and then I could get to know the man that sleeps there. You'd have your very own monkey in the window!

Everything can evaporate if it gets hot enough to melt and then turns to gas. Well my question is if ice cream evaporates....and went into the sky into the clouds couldn't it theoretically rain ice cream? BoredBlondChick
All this talk about ice cream is making me very hungry! Ice cream clouds and ice cream rain would be wonderful! Snow would be slurpees! People would love to go out and play in the rain and we could put out buckets and collect it! I sure am hungry for ice cream now, why don't we go get some? I'll even pay this time!

why? no really... why? hey look i'm dead serious..... Why?
If you're talking about the ice cream then it's because I'm nice and want to buy everyone ice cream! Don't just stand there saying why, say thank you! Now get your shoes on, we're going now!

what if there was a lesbien in the backyard and a gay guy in the front and the gay guy wanted me and the lesbien wanted my dog how do i get rid of them i asked a question about a lesbien in the backyard and a gay guy in the front. what happened to the answer
You're bossy! You have to wait for answers! I don't like when people are bossy at me. So you don't get an answer to your question until you can be nice about it! You probably need some hugs so that you're not such a bossy person.

it was always torture to have him around. so, have you made the most of life without DC yet? -EmprissNikon
It was torture! He was such a jerk sometimes and would make me cry. I have even heard that JCP is mad that he isn't trying to contact her. See how mean he is? I read some of his answers and he was jerky to people who just needed some hugs. Maybe he's dead. That would be okay. Anyways, now I'm able to answer questions and get hugs from all my new friends! Will you be my friend Empriss Nikon? I bet you'd be fun to hug!

when was the poptart invented
I don't know! I bet someone dreamt about it. Something that yummy sounds like a dream! Now we can wake up to it for real! It's not the best thing to eat all the time but on weekends it should be ok! Poptarts and ice cream would be really yummy. Mmmmmmm yummy.

April 5/05
Answered by: Herbert

What would you do if you died tonight? Also what would you do if the world ended or the sky fell? BoredBlondChick (I have to come up with my own what if questions because there are no more!!)
There is one what if question, it's at the bottom of the questionnaire! I have to think of some answers so that I can maybe get an award. I get sort of jealous that lots of people get them but I never do. I would be sad if I died tonight. But I'd be dead and not know I'm dead so I guess that is a trick question! I would die if I died tonight and that would be the end. JCP would have to get someone else to answer this and all you people would be sad to hear that I had died. Right? You'd miss me wouldn't you?

I saw a violent movie today and I was wondering, do you like violent movies? McDiablo
Violent movies can be very scary. I don't like seeing people get hurt, it makes me feel sad. Everyone should be happy and hug each other. You should go hug Emerald just to make sure that you don't feel like being violent from watching that movie.

To go with the previous question, when is it wrong to laugh during a violent movie? I mean, I was laughing when a guy with a badly slashed throat was talking. McDiablo
If there was blood splurting out of him as he spoke, and he was saying something funny then maybe it is ok to laugh. I don't really watch violent things so I don't really know! I bet that if you were laughing then it's ok because you're not a truly evil person. I know this because if you were then Emerald would tell me and I would have to help her make you go away so you wouldn't hurt anyone.

How does Kelly feel about me? 'Lyeska
I haven't talked to Kelly but I can give her a note with checkboxes that ask. Then when she answers I will tell you!

do you like monkey balls
I like my own. I haven't really had others to compare them to. Well, ok I have but they get angry when I try to compare them. I need to find a monkey that doesn't mind my inspecting them and comparing them to my own. Are you a monkey with balls? If so can I see them?

shag me?
If you're nice and don't have itchy burny diseases then I will. We need to have some food first so we can talk and I can find out if I like you. If I do like you then we can hug and everything.

Hey! Some evil gooey sparkly silver stuff just magically got on my finger and I didn't notice it until I started typing and left sparkly goo on the computer keys. What is it and where did it come from? I mean, relly. I can't find the source anywhere...hmmm.-bluemonkeyfearer
Wow you have free sparkly stuff? Lucky you! Maybe it's because you're super special bluemonkeyfearer and now your skin is making sparkly stuff! Can you smear some on a page and mail it to me? Then I could show everyone how special you are and that I have a special sparkly friend!

where is the g-spot?
G-spot? I don't know. Is this a trick question? What does the G stand for?

If you were the Pope, what would you eat for breakfast?
That is the old guy that died right? If so then I would eat nothing because I would be dead. You people are asking trick questions today!

How much cheese do you eat in a day?-bluemonkeyfearer
Not very much at all. I would like more but I can't afford to buy as much as I'd like and Poptart gets mad when I eat all of his. I have been getting chips as they come in big bags and they're yummy! There are lots of different flavors. I have sour cream and onion right now. It's yummy to lick my paws after eating them.

Why must history be a required class?-bluemonkeyfearer
It seems that things repeat over time if people don't learn from when they screwed things up. Maybe they're trying to show how they've messed up so that you don't. No, I don't think that either. I think they're doing it to confuse you and put things you don't need to remember in your head so that you are distracted and don't realize that they're doing screwed up things right now. You should come over and we will eat chips and forget all about that stuff!

Sorry huberto i was a not present at thee last session but I would like the sanity manifest in my fingers pronto and get a shave man! I like my employees to be clean shaven not scruffy like some apple computer techno hippy! oh yeah.. and why is it that the burger machine keeps giving me quadruple fries?thathinguywhois
You have employees? Wow thathinguywhois you must be rich. Can I be your employee? I will not grow a beard or anything if you don't like that. I will even wear a tie if you want me to. I look all professional and businesslike in a tie. Everyone would be so impressed that you have a professional sock monkey working for you and I'd make us lots of money! Then I could buy all the cheese and chips and shoes that I want!

eh... Man... Like What is up Man? like heh.. Do you like want a popsicle man.. it only fell in the liquid acid once man I swear, and the stick it was only dropped in the liquid crystal meth once man so like don't suck it too long if you know what i mean oh heh.. why do you look like an eagle with a hippo head?thathinguywhois
You're so silly thathinguywhois! I bet you're tons of fun at a party. Would you come to my party if I had one? I'd have chips and cheese and pizza and shoes. You could make us all laugh and then I could dance for everyone. It would be so much fun!

ifeeling sanity todaddy why are the pork fingers not deeep fried man, and stop masturbating in the ice cream man thathinguywhois
I remember answering about ice cream last time! So I will have ice cream at my party too and we can put chips in it! Mmmmmm chips in ice cream.

Don't you think that women have an unfair advantage over men? For example, a woman can just simply walk up to a man and ask, " Wanna fuck ?" and of course the man will have to accept, but if a dude asks a chick if she wants to fuck, then he's gonna get slapped the hell out of. Not to mention women have the power of "breasts", their almight boobs can get them free food, alchohol, or on T.V. . When's the last time you watched T.V. really late at night and seen an advertisement for "Men Gone Wild ! " ? Is their really a reason for males to exist other then to tend to women ? Do you think I should just get a sex change and stop bitching ?-me (P.S. in case they don't air the advertisements in Canada, Girls Gone Wild is a very popular prono that's overly advertised late at night. P.P.S. I was joking about the sex change) *HHHHUUUUUGGGGG*
Wow me, that is a different way of looking at it. Not all women use their breasts to get stuff. Men don't HAVE to give them whatever they want, men don't HAVE to fuck them simply because they're asked. I'm sure that as a man you have more control over yourself than that. It's just the stupid men and women that use sex that way. Don't let the TV lie to you and make you think that all men and women are as stupid as that. It's what they want you to believe so they can sell you things. If some girl thinks she can get free stuff from you simply because she has breasts, you tell that bitch to take them elsewhere. You save the food and free stuff for the smart women who have brains and use them instead of their breasts. I think that the smart people have the advantage because they're not taken in by the stupidity of sex. I too was tricked into thinking otherwise for awhile until JCP sat me down and gave me a stern talking to. She said that guys and girls have to use their brains. She told me that everyone is different and that all girls do not like shopping, chocolate and plastering makeup on the their faces. She told me that not all guys are sport loving, fuck anything that is female and into cars. At first I didn't understand and I kept trying to see her boobs until she sent me away saying that I was a horrible monkey and she hated me. I've been trying very hard to be a good monkey and have since learned to respect women like her. Girls are pretty without make up, and guys can say no to fake bitches. See that JCP, you taught me! I've learnt! I'm a good sock monkey now and you don't need to hate me anymore! Me, we can go spread the word and make friends with all the smart people! We can give them hugs and tell them that they're not alone anymore in a world of jerks and bitches. Maybe we can have our own country and never let any stupid people in!

April 9/05
Answered by: Herbert

do you have a girlfriend? because you are really hot in that picture. i went on jerry springer before, i had stuff thrown at me, i was called a monkey fucker, buti love you sooo much. i wanna fuck you
No I don't have a girlfriend actually. We could go out for dinner and you'll have to tell me why you were on the show. I'll have to run away screaming if you were one of those crazy people that did fucked up stuff to other people just for fun. I don't want to have to change my name and run away from you for the rest of my life. If you're nice then we can go on dates and then after food and some hugging (and maybe shoe shopping) we can go back to my closet.

Ola! What is up? I just got finished readin and e-mail from a guy I met three days ago and it basically consisted of him gushing over how hot and sexy I am and how much we're meant to be together and how he loves me. He lives in England. I live in the U.S. in Texas. Should i be worried? Do you think he is a pycho 44 year old who showed me his nephew's picture? Is he going to stalk me? What should I do? HEEEEELP! PyroPrincezz (was boredblondchick not ne more tho I changed it permenently :D) *hug* cuz i changed mah name sorry i'm confusing!
Wow that is scary PyroPrincezz. (It's ok about the new name but the z's make me look at the keyboard! Do you really burn things? I would be sad if you got burnt. I'd send you flowers so maybe you wouldn't be so sad from being all sore from being burned.) I would be scared and not talk to that person anymore if that happened to me! You should come and live with me in my closet. He'd never find you there and we could come up with plans to make it so that crazy people like that don't get internet anymore. Then we could buy some fuzzy shoes and maybe run around in them because summer is coming and summer means fun. Do you want me to go hurt him for you?

How does a vigina feel?tyboy
I think that a Virgina would feel happy sometimes, maybe sad other times. There are lots of Virginas out there so I'm sure that they feel all sorts of things. I knew a Virgina that felt a pointy thing and then it made her bleed. She was sad so I helped her and got a bandaid. Then I gave her a hug and she felt happy. I bet you could make a Virgina feel happy by giving her a hug. Unless it's a boy named Virgina. Then you could give HIM a hug and HE'D be happy.

my feets are getting all smelly and i don't know why. i changed my socks and then they smell too after a few days. what do i have to do to make them stop smelling? it's distracting. it's all i cansmell and think about. please help me make it go away herbert. - the chow chows under the fence guy
That sounds very bad! You should change your socks more often and wash them every night in your sink with nice smelling soap. There are lots of wonderful smelling soaps out there. I bet you could even get sock shaped soaps for washing your socks! I should get some too! I wonder if I could find some sock monkey soaps that smell like vanilla or berries or something yummy. I hope this helps you chow chows under the fence guy.

Oh, your sooo cute, r u fo real, where'd ya come from??
<Blushes> Thank you! I'm from Canada. Here are some funny things that were written about Canada. I haven't gotten to see any other countries but this one seems pretty nice. Seeing an ocean might be nice. I hear they are very big and nice to look at.

What does a real burning bush have to do with christianity? Does the bush as a tree(?), symbolize different outcomes in life, or maybe different races / people... and they are all burning? Or Just maybe, from all where we came, all that we are, all that will be... is just a waste of time?
Oh no why are they burning bushes? Trees and bushes are our friends and they shouldn't be burnt. That seems like an awful thing to do, no matter what they say it means. I heard that they also would drown and burn people who had cats too many years ago. They seem very mean and want to destroy everything. We should gather up as many fire extinguishers as we can so we can put out the burning bushes. Bushes are homes for animals and birds sometimes so I hope none of them get hurt.

Why are nuts so rich in protein ?-me*hug*
It makes them that much more yummy! My favorite is peanuts because peanut butter is so very yummy. I like licking it off my paws! Mmmmm peanut butter. One day we'll get together and have some.

If you could play god, who would you kill and why? Mickey D
Oh I wouldn't kill anyone but I would make the mean people nice and the dumb people smart and the sad people happy. Then everyone could be happy and smart and nice. Spaceships would be built so we could go hug aliens. Large fluffly aliens that love hugs!

Why does my mother have a fit if I don't call her once a day? Is that normal? PRchick
Your mom should be careful when having a fit! She might hurt herself! I don't know if that is normal but my mom doesn't have a fit if I don't call her every day. My mom sends me emails that are funny. For some reason I don't find the funny stuff she does but her emails make giggle. Maybe your mom would like emails instead? She can wear a helmet and if you don't email then her fit on the floor won't hurt her head.

Crows keep flying by my window and I see them out of the corner of my eye. Why do they keep doing this to me? Are they trying to drive me insane?
They might be! Crows can be very mean. Not all the time though. I knew some crows that were really nice. They would bring me worms sometimes and I'd pretend to eat them so it would make them happy. If they bring you worms then make sure you eat them and smile so they like you.

Hello everyone, I am just sitting here typing away with nothing really to ssay but I need to no sumthing.........Is it normal to be turned on by a piece of chalk. I sit in my class rooms everyday and am fine, but then a teacher will bring a box of chalk in and I will have the sudden urge to fukk, i thought maybe it was just the teacher, NO its most definetly the CHALK....wut wud yuy say do i need help or just a box of chalk and my fingers?
To be honest I don't know if it's good for you to have chalk on your hands when you do that. A doctor could tell you. I don't think that it's the chalk you like but the box of lovely round tube things. You could get some plastic shaped things like that and maybe it would be ok to actually fuck. Or you could have chalk lined up on the wall on shelves and just look at it so that you don't actually get it on you. I don't find chalk that fun but I haven't actually seen any lately so maybe now that you've said that you like it that I will too. Sometimes that happens!

So, You're walking down the coridor of a building when suddenly this man comes out and says 'I know what you did last winter' what do you do?
It could mean he's a friend who was with me last winter and we'd hug! Then I would invite him into my closet and we'd have food. After awhile I would show him my shoe collection and we'd laugh as we talked about last winter and all the fun we had.

Would you rather run while needing to have a shit, or run with a full stomache? -Hufflebunny
Having to run while needing to take a shit would be very bad! I would rather run with the full stomach. Running and puking would be easier than running and shitting if I couldn't hold things in. The puke could spray out and maybe not get on me. If I shit then it would run on my legs and that would be very bad! Why would you think of that sort of thing Hufflebunny, it's very twisted! It made me think though and I like that so you get hugs.

Have you and the other sock monkeys ever had a family reunion?
Not all of us no. There are lots and lots out there. I do see some at birthdays and special occassions. We don't all get along sometimes so some refuse to ever come home. Others are just big jerks that shouldn't be invited home ever but are even though they never come home when invited. Maybe I will have a party or ask when the next party is and then I can tell you all about it!

April 12/05
Answered by: Herbert

so... how bout them thar tangerine table sauce screw bulbs? I bet they taste good *hick hick* *laughs* no, seriously now. Do you know anything? does ANYone fully understand anything? I m ean. whats the meaning of life? why do we fall and why can't we get up when we can fly? I mean, if you can fly, why not float around all the time?! >.> I bet dennies has a cherry salade... that would be nice... WASABI NO WOOSHIBA! >.> Ok, maybe random isn't what you ask for! lets try this. If a giant *purr*ty pink pokadotted fuzzlepuff aresol ant-eater decided to sniff your butt... what would you do? and what would happen if that giant *purr*ty pink pokadotted fuzzlepuff aresol ant-eater was plastic adn made otu of cheese? I knwo what I would do. I'd hug it *hugs* ^.^
A purrty pink polka dotted fuzzlepuff aresol ant-eater sniffing my butt? Why I'd be honored! If it were made out of cheese then even better! How did you even hear about such a creature? Have they been hiding from me? I would even clean my butt and make sure it smelt nice for when it sniffed it. Maybe some berry scented soap would make it happy. I'd also buy it some flowers and some cheesecake. It would then have to love me and sniff my butt every week and we'd eat cheesecake. Mmmm cheesecake.

oh i sure WOULD love a hug!!! i'm made of perfect hugging material. your cotton and polyester don't have shit on my velour... yes, that's right. i'm made of velour! - EmprissNikon
Wow, velour! That's all fancy and fuzzy and huggy! I would like a velour outfit so that I too would be as fuzzy and fancy! I'd like a nice green or red velour outfit. It wouldn't be as nice as your natural fur but I'd feel all special and warm. Maybe my mom will make me that if I ask very nicely and give her hugs! I'll make sure to hug you before I go hug her though because I promised you one. Mmmmm velour.

I keep eating barbeque chicken because I'm addicted to it. But everytime I do it just makes me hungrier and I have to eat something else to make me less hungry. Why does barbeque chicken make me more hungry?
Maybe the sauce is addictive! Or it's just so yummy that your body has decided it must have it all the time! More! More! More! Sometimes that happens to me with cheese or shoes or confetti. Just have to have more! One time all my friends gathered around and told me I had to ease up on it all. So I ran away and made new friends. You can come live with me and we will eat barbeque chicken all day long!

chey chey hey hey sup? well i gotta question, it may not be insane but...it's confuzzling me. I like this guy and the last time i was at the movies with him he told me not to bring a friend but i did neway and when we got there we were fighting over the arm rest and he got a knife and put it in my face...then gave me a "mint" you may have already heard about it. I asked him what he really did to it and he said "nothing...i'm only gonna take one...two might kill me" i mean....what's going on?!?!? i'm completly clueless on this guy...~Kinky Vampire Chick
He sounds scary and weird. I would run away from his candies! That was mean of him to put a knife in your face and he shouldn't be mean to you like that. You should pretend you don't like him anymore until you believe it. You can come over to my place and we'll have cheesecake until you forget about him and then we'll find you a much better guy for you. One that is nice and has yummy candies that taste like stuff you like. Maybe the new guy will give you bags of candies that are so yummy that you'll just have to share with me!

how do you know when a Hot!!! girl is in love with you
I've never seen t a Hot!!! girl, but I've seen hot girls. If they love you then they are nice to you and might give you toys and fun things. One time I gave a hot girl a shoe and she loved it! We then had some ice cream and talked about oceans. It was a wonderful time.

why do 24 hour shops have locks on the doors- azz
Maybe they didn't build the building and the locks came with it, or they HAD to have locks in case something went horribly wrong and they needed to lock up and run far away! One time I was at a store like that and the sign said open and the lights were on but no one was there and the doors were locked! I was so confused so I pretended that I wasn't and walked away. I hope they didn't see my tears of confusion.

Are you lonely tonight! I am a scary dog that came from the sky in a biplane, and I sing the tune of fettid fooch to yer squirrley morning show. is this real?Is this thing on Hello?Thathinguywhois
Hello Thathinguywhois! I can hear you. You hit the send button and everything! You're not a scary dog but if you had a biplane then we could pretend you were and then fly around. We could even get fancy aviator hats and glasses.

Do people (who can't dance) think that drinking heavily will make them dance better? McDiablo
That makes me giggle McDiablo because it's true! People get all drunk and then throw themselves around thinking that they're dancing! It is sometimes funny but other times scary. Sometimes they fall over and little drunken monkeys like me can't get out of the way in time so I get squished.

Why didn't that girl who elbowed me say she was sorry? Isn't it a Canadian thing to do...saying 'sorry' all the time for the silliest reasons? McDiablo
She must not be Canadian then. I always say sorry for things like that. I also hold open doors and everything. When people are rude and don't say things like sorry or thank you, then I say it for them loudly so they know that they were rude for not saying it. We should have polite police that go around making sure people are polite.

My back has been hurting lately. What the crap is going on? McDiablo
That's too bad McDiablo, is there anything I can do to help? I could rub your back or bring you slurpees until you feel better. I could even dance for you and make you giggle so you feel better. Maybe I could even bring you cheesecake and we could eat it together. I hope that you feel better soon!

do ants like cheese or sugar better?
I have answered this already so go read the answer on this page and stop asking me this over and over. When you ask a question, go find the answer instead of being dumb and sending it in every week. You don't get any hugs from me.

can you die from marijuana?
You can die from anything! If you put marijuana in your throat so you can't breathe then you will die from it! So be careful and make sure that you can always breathe.

what is wrong with you people! all you do is complain! thats why we need more police and armys more guns and oppression! if everyone would just behave and act like a bunch of mindless clones we would be in such better shape...NOT please take this as sarcasm by the way where do black jewish nazis go to synagouge?thathinguywhois
Oh you're so silly thathinguywho is. I know you're a hug-giving person who wants everyone to be happy. You and I can start making the world a better place by giving out free hugs in the streets and encouraging others to treat each other nicely. I'll get us some tshirts with "Give the world a hug" and you get some treats for us to eat while we're outside spreading the word.

I have a giant cut on the back of my heel, but I have no idea how it got there. How do you suppose it got there? -Hufflebunny
That's too bad Hufflebunny, does it hurt? I will put a big colorful band aid on it if you'd like. Maybe you stepped on something really sharp and didn't notice you got cut! You should wear special protetctive socks!

If life is like a box of chocolates...does that mean that people eat life? I would love to be a life eater....and yes I do burn things. And dont' worry I can't be burnt because I'm flame retardent. PyroPrincezz
I'm glad to hear you won't get burnt! I'd say your name but those last two letters are just too tricky for me today! I don't think I agree that life is like a box of chocolates. It's more like a box of shoes. At least to me. Do you think that maybe we could burn things together? You'd have to make sure I didn't get too close to the fire though because I'm not flame retardant at all.

Will you one day rule the earth Herbert? I think you should. You could even make not giving people hugs illegal and stuff -Stunt Fox
Thanks for your support Stunt Fox! I bet that the world would become a much happier place and we'd all have nice shoes and yummy things to eat! Hugs for everyone! Anyone who doesn't want hugs must be mean and I'd have them sent to Mercury to think about how mean they are. Will you help me hand out balloons? Vote Herbert!

what about robot?
Oh sure I'd have robots too. I could make hugging robots! They could roam around hugging things that people can't hug like sharp things. I could even make shoe making robots so everyone could have nice shoes that are made well.

April 14/05
Answered by: Herbert

I want to no the things used in making the dog feed
There is an easy way to find that out, just look on the label! It will tell you the ingredients, and the company that made the food. You can call the company and ask them to send you instructions or to explain it to you. Then you can know and maybe make your own!

am i a lesbien
If you are a girl and you like other girls sexually and not boys, then yes. (But it's spelt lesbian. Just so you know.)

In the last several years i've caught myself wondering if there isnt something substantive in this whole "kill or be killed" idea... i mean, is it reasonable to think that we aren't any different than the other monkey's (sock or other) who inhabit this planet? why should we be held accountable to higher morals or standards than they are? why can't i just run around naked throwing MY feces at people who piss me off? i just don't know anymore, herbert.... i just don't fucking know. - EmprissNikon
Poor EmprissNikon. I'd love to help you but all I have are hugs. I wish people would be nice to each other and give hugs to each other all the time but they don't. They like being mean and not hugging anyone without squeezing hard enough to crack ribs. You can come live in my closet with me and everyone else nice that I've invited and we will all live happy and full of hugs in there.

Is my school sane? And I mean sane in a bad way. Insane is the only good way to be. :D But yeah everytime I go to my school it's scary....people make me sad and when I go home I'm happy again. Is it the schools fault or the peoples fault? Or both!!! *gasp* PyroPrincezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Lol just wanted to make it kinda hard to make mah name I'm sorry! I felt like adding all the z's. *hug* cuz i confuzzed you.
All your z's made me giggle PyroPrincezz (see I did that just for you!) I think that it is both the school and the kids fault. Try not to be too sad and make sure you get hugs to help make you feel better. I will always give you hugs if you need them! Your school should be nicer and make the kids nicer too.

why hasn't jcp updated the questionaire?
She did at the beginning of the month like she always does! If you can't see the new questions, then press F5. Oh wait, you mean the results, I didn't even notice they weren't up for March! She was sick for bit (I saw her talking about this in her section) and I bet she's working on them for you now that's she better. I will send her a polite email to remind her just in case she forgot.

phil smith is a car salesman. last week his total sales amounted to $27650.00 and he recieved $1382.50 in commission. what is his rate of commission?
If I sold a car for that could I get that much money? I don't know what his rate of commission is but it seems good! I could buy a closet full of shoes with that much money. Mmmmm shoes.

Hello Herby-Herberson. What is your favorite kind of apple? Be specific if at all possible.-me*HUG*
I like shiny red apples. They are yummy and shiny and red. They come in bags so I can have lots!

How would you like it if I put myself in a box and mailed myself to you to come visit? We could go to dollar store, the post office, the Eiffel Tower, there'd be no end to the joy! Maybe you could mail yourself down here too ! I'd turn my old dresser into a shoe-filled monkey house. Mmmm... cookies.-me*HUG+2*
Wow, you can mail yourself? What a good idea! I'd be too scared to try that. I wouldn't want to get lost somewhere and be trapped in a box until I died. The Eiffel Tower is far away but I'd be willing to go if you were there too! Mmmm cookies is right! Plus 2 hugs, yay!

At my school, if you skip 12 classes, you get suspended. If a student skips school, they must not want to go to class, so why suspend them? They'd be happy if they didn't have to go. If they miss some school, why punish them by making them miss more school? I never quite understood that. -Hufflebunny Don't worry Herbie! I haven't been skipping my classes!
I'm glad you haven't Hufflebunny! You need to learn and then leave that place! I don't know why they'd do that, it doesn't make sense to me either. That is just really weird now that you mention it. Why would they do that? You would think that instead they would make you come to class on the weekend to make up for the time you skipped out on. Maybe you should tell your principal to do it the right way.

is there smurf porn
Yes, there is some smurf porn here.

are all questions answerable by questions oh small sock primate guru of the stars ruler of the universe?or is it that we are all cheese and we bleed the milk of ewes in desert and are flaming bushes gay?thathinguywhois
Small sock primate guru of the stars ruler of the universe. That is a lot to say and that made me giggle! If we were cheese then we'd all be very yummy. Flaming bushes? I don't think bushes are any sex. I don't know how we'd be able to tell what sex it were actually. Maybe it is gay? If bushes would just talk to us then we'd know for sure. You should ask one the next time you see it. If I see I will ask it too (from a distance so I don't get burnt too!) and then tell you what it tells me.

Do you enjoy IKEA as much as I do? McDiablo
I have only been there once. There was a large bin of other animals so I crawled in with them. For some reason some employees saw me, got made and pulled me out, then threw me out in the parking lot saying I wasn't welcome there ever again. They were mean. I did have lots of fun while in that bin though and I wish I could go again.

The weatherman said it was going to rain today, but so far it's quite nice. Does this mean that when the weatherman predicts rain everyone should put on shorts and sandals? McDiablo
The weather lady on my TV said it wouldn't rain and it didn't. I think you should listen to what she says about your weather. She tells me what it's like where you are and I think of you and Emerald. I guess we have to remember that weather is very tricky and likes to trick us all. Once it knows that you will put on shorts when the weather person says rain, it will snow on you just to be mean. You have to trick the tricky weather and always wear rain boots just in case!

How come my sister always throws her clothes on the floor? McDiablo
Sometimes it's nice to have all your stuff out where you can see it and the colors look pretty all over the place. Maybe she is just being lazy and not wanting to put them away. Oh wait, I bet she is scared of hangers and drawers! You should chase her with a hanger and find out!

Who really DID steal the cookie from the cookie jar ? -me
It wasn't me! Well, ok it was. But I was hungry! Next time I will share, I promise!

I saw a hooded sweatshirt and a shoe on the ground today. Do you think someone out there is shirtless and has one really cold foot?-me
Oh no, maybe! Unless it was gifts for you from someone strange who thinks you'd want that stuff. Did it look clean and nice? You should try stuff on next time and see if it fits you. Maybe it's presents just for you and now they're all sad you didn't take them. Just don't eat treats found on the ground. I did that once and it wasn't yummy at all.

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