Will my chemistry
final exam suck even more than I think it will? How about english?
chemistry will suck a whole lot but you'll get through it unless
you write 'I AM A FISH' over and over... which has been done before
by that guy... oh wait... that was in a book... oh no wait...
that's a tv show too... hmmmm
I've met quite a
lot of Canadians in my time, and most of them have a habit of
saying "eh" at the end of every sentence they utter.
My question is this: if they actually say "eh", why
when they are typing on-line don't they type "eh"....."EH"????...harbinger
well that's funny as there are a lot of canadians that don't say
it... but i suppose that if people do say things like that, then
i'd expect them to type it as well... then again people with a
lisp don't type in extra s's...
pope or dalai lama?
well both are kinda cute... oh yea... no they aren't... i pick
What's your favourite
book, movie and food? Oh........I forgot can you tell me your
3 favourite bands/singers? and last but not least, the celebrity
you like to have sex with the most? RealmO-K
at the moment... invisible monsters by chuck
palahniuk... fight club... and it's always pizza... patton...
bowie... and um... faith no more... the celebrity i like to have
sex with the most? out of all the ones i've had sex with? hmmm...
it's so hard to chose just one... i guess it'd have to be kermit
I have been reading
the anti-xmas part and I'm wondering, do you personaly get in
a worst mood this time of year, or do you consider xmas to be
joyful and actually get in a better mood?. I fucken hate it my
self, just want to know your opinion.
this year i'd have to say that i've been in a particularity bad
mood... i'm so fed up with everyone and everything
don't like my site because it's not cohesive and I'm not marketable
enough. Do you think that killing you would be a good solution?
well who are these people who said this? if it's the people in
your head then i told you already that they don't count... but
if it's those strange one-eyed people then... wait a minute...
kill ME? damnit.. that's what i get for sticking up for you?!?
How do you tell stupid
people they're stupid and why don't they already know that they're
you have to say it slowly and sometimes even use hand puppets
to explain it...
Do you think Birmingham
City will finish above Aston Villa in the English Premier Football
League (that's soccer to dumb yanks)?
well i'm not a fan of soccer... so it's all the same to me...
though i must say that i would rather watch your soccer then US
football any day...
have you ever seen
a japanese bum? -The Stapler
only on my computer
have you ever been
walking up the stairs and after you got to the last step thought
there was another on there, tripped, and looked back like you
expected it to be there somehow? -The Don and The Stapler
twice... and that was just today
I'd like to submit
two of my christmas theories to you, please tell me if you agree:
1) The holiday we are used to calling Christmas is no longer known
for being Christmas in its real religious meaning, and I am now
going to call it Designated Giving Day, which just happens to
be on the same day as Christmas. 2) Giving someone a gift for
DGD really means that they mean nothing to you and you hate them.
If you really care about this person you'd get them stuff they'd
like no matter what time of year it is. FartMonkey
1 great idea as long as there are no songs about it... 2 damn
do you think that
being gay is a genetic disorder?
no... being human is
where do the cold
stay in our body?whats the cause of this?
it stays in your ass and sometimes visits your toes
Do think the bible
should be listed as a fictional book?
you mean it isn't???
have you ever tried
to insert something in your but
in my BUTT? hmmm... no not lately... not that i can remember...
then again there are some fuzzy drunken moments where i can't
really remember what happened...
Um DC, I have a question...Why
is there a tomb for an unknown soldier? Wouldnt process of elimination
tell you who it is? Hey wanna have wild kick ass sex tonight?
Promise not to call you the next day!!
there are just too many people to track them all down... and we'll
have wild kick ass sex tomorrow night since i won't have work
and so i can stay up all night... and you better not call... telephones
So, is SAnimal gone
now? What's goin g happen to him? Is he going to spend his days
knitting Sock Baboons? Do Sock Baboons even exist? Why would anyone
knit something made of socks? What am I on about? SAnimal... He
sucked... That's what I heard, anyway - Mzebonga
i sense that underneath it all you're actually very sad and upset
with his exit... i mean... it's like you knew him intimately isn't
it... or maybe just wanted it that way... it's ok mzebonga...
you can come hang out here now... it's almost the same... only
If god was a fritolay
would you eat it? if elephants and tigers had sex would we need
any humans?why is it that squirrels always stare at me? why is
why a question thathinguywhois
yep... no... they want to shove acorns in your nose... why is
a question for lazy people who can't put together sentences...
WHO KILLED KENNEDY?
that guy... you know... who did that thing that one time? and
Ok we can have wild
kick ass sex tonight since u dont have to work......but make sure
u buy me something good so ill put out!!! And dont get rude you
know you want me!!! lol Whats your favorite position? and dont
say monkey style.
i have to buy things to make you put out? that sucks... you should
buy ME things to put out... any position that doesn't hurt horribly
is fine with me
What the hell DC
I have a person i work with that won't stop singing xmas songs.
Would it be ok if I wrapped her ass in tinsel and hung her on
the door like a wreath? I'll stick lights around her neck if thats
ok? And one more thing.....how much time in the slammer will i
get for this just want to have an idea how long to foward my mail?-HD
i think it's a great idea and you can probably look online before
doing to jail... don't forget to cancel your 'cheese of the month'
this is a follow
up to a previous question I asked..........In your opinion what
is the worst book, movie and food.................and also what
are the worst bands/singers (excluding britany spears, as we all
know that she sucks immensly) and what celebrity would you least
like to have sex with with?
foundations friends... julia julia... turnip... oasis... celine
dion... and i would never ever want to have sex with kevin costner
(or see one of his movies)
I am in need of your
advise DC.......myself and some friends are making a film similiar
to jackass (well,it's differenrt to jackass but that's the best
example I can give you) and we know this guy that we all hate
and we want to pull a prank on the fat son of a bitch. Should
we: a)egg him, followed by a paint gun onslaught b)tar and feather
him c)throw poo on him or d)get you to think of something better
(and if you can think of something better what is it?) ReAlmO-K
P.S you wouldn't think so, but it's pretty hard to amuse yourself,as
you can probnably tell =)
i don't know... none of those really catch my attention... if
you're going to do a show, you need something that everyone hasn't
seen a million times... dress up in a dinosaur costume and chase
him, i don't know... but just taping a prank isn't a film...
I thought I asked
you a few questions before, but I guess I didn't. Or did I...and
the questions just kinda went on vacation or something? McDiablo
maybe you were dreaming? maybe you're lying? maybe i answered
them and you're in denial over the answers?
Would you pay $100
for a box of chocolate ( a five pound box, mind you )? McDiablo
Do restaurants pick
the hottest guys to sell gift certificates so people (mainly women)
will notice them and go that extra mile to talk/flirt with them
and possibly buy some off them? I sense a conspiracy.... McDiablo
you know... i have never encountered men selling gift certificates
but i wouldn't be surprised if they did that on purpose... are
you asking me to sell gift certificates in your store???
I get a link now
when I post??? That's so immensely cool! Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! That would
explain why my bandwidth just spiked... - Mzebonga
bandwidth spiking... boy you really ARE excited...
I'm not being ungrateful...
It's just that people always tell me "you rip off the Sock
Monkey" or "you're not as funny as DC" or "you
have a face like a baboons arse" so I figure if I get rid
of you people won't keep telling em that. It's not personal, see?
people say this to you? i know your mom said that about your face...
but the rest? you do know that your stuffed animals don't count
I like your new header...
Do you and JCP want me to have that on Mzebonga.com?
sure sounds good to me... who cares what she thinks... <glances
What should I leave
for that fat old bastard Santa? I'm debating between tacos and
cheese. OR is he with the pink elephants? If so i think I should
maybe leave him poisonous "cookies" or set a trap and
steal his sleigh to use to take over the world with pink elephants?
But thats only if he is on the side of the evil pink elephants....this
is also assuming that he will actually bring me stuff which i
doubt he will after the golf club incident.
it's all the pink elephants and there is no santa... how does
that make you feel? that's right... channel the rage
um... do u think
christmas is a big trick?that god made christ so we would have
this "christmas" and god is a big giant money loving
monster that weres a suit and owns millions of corporations...
thinkaboutit... he wants us to buy from his corporations to make
him rich. umm ..wait slash that god doesnt exist, oh yes i believe
he died.. i remember his funeral ,that old guy wasnt my grandma..
anyways did u attend?-THEpolice
yes... his and a couple of others
Ever heard of jeff
buckley?.. he has a romantic haunting orgasmic powered vocals...
that familar?- notTHEpolice
no... are you trying to hit on me again? i told you that lying
doesn't impress me
i run on gasoline,
i drink jugs of milk for breakfast and i dont attend church.why
does no one love me?
your coffee mugs love you... and why would you need more love
then that? don't be a greedy bastard
when was the last
time someone asked to have some ranchy dirty straight awesome
head to toe umm penis in vagina or penis in bum sex or dildo in
bum/vagina? bytheway, Awesome Anti- xmas! sorry for the bluntness
i am quite crude... farewell dc, be deep in thought and love strangers
like friends.my heart floats neatly next to your head and if you
find any spare time please send it back to me... im dieing.. -spaagg
that was lovely... next time send me the drugs you're on so it
can make sense to me too...
dear man or woman,
this is a notice i am in your bedroom under your bed and its time
u got rid of these dead bodies... they smell and the neighbours
are suspicious.GEES DC... all i wanted to do was smell you and
tape u as you slept... not watch a body rot next to me. by the
way you wouldnt happen to have any blank tapes?-notTHEpolice
i have several blank tapes and i know you liked watching so just
stop pretending you're offended
How come in the united
states football is the stupid game, but everywhere else football
is soccer? Why the hell do we call it soccer, anyway? Football
makes way more sense. In non-US countries when they play football(soccer)
do they call the ball a football or a soccer ball? FartMonkey
i'd assume they call it a foot ball... or just a ball... and the
US is insane (in an unfun way) so that's why it's like that...
What happens if you
drink hand lotion? FartMonkey
it doesn't taste as good as you thought it would and you puke
Have you ever made
a really long chain of paper clips? If so how long, and for what
purpose if any? FartMonkey
yes i have actually... i don't remember how long and i was very
How come whenever
I yawn I can pick up certain radio frequencies for just those
few seconds? And s this normal? FartMonkey
sure it's normal... i always hear voices in my head and they are
probably radio frequencies... sure they know my name and tell
me to kill... but i just figure it's just one of those things...
if the world was
ending ..and you had a choice to fuck a blonde or a red head ..who
would it be...also why cant i start a fire under the water...BLondie
i wouldn't pick one or the other based on hair color... i think
it'd be more of a matter of who was closer and willing
my friends little
bro said that if a chik takes it up the ass and then gives that
guy a blo job if it is like eating shit. wat is your oppinion
on that? srsk8er
well if she hasn't cleaned out her ass or whatever and didn't
clean him off after... then yes she would be putting her own shit
in her mouth and consuming it...
hey everyone... i am moving due
to a new job and therefore will be offline for awhile... i'm not
sure how long i will be away (at least 4 weeks) so JCP will be
answering questions until i return... i might even miss you freaks
and your questions... but anyways... if i don't get a chance to
answer any more (i'm going to be very busy moving etc)... then
so long and thanks for all the fish...
i've agreed to come and answer them once more this week before
i have to leave... go
ask a question
Emm.. Where can i
get a little blue monkey?
a little one? that i'm not sure of... just buy a brown one and
dye it blue
My birthday is next
month.. *ack* i'm really not looking foreward to it, but my parents
are making a big deal out of it. they want to do something huge,
but i just want to stay home and moulder in front of the tv and
see how many times i have to watch Requiem For A Dream to memorize
the entire movie. What do you think? what should i do? -CasualFatality
well i'd suggest watching the movie again and learning a bit more...
perhaps invite your parents to watch... if they are making it
a 'huge deal' via a party hat and cheap gag gifts then i'd just
run away until it's all over
What is your opinion
on things such as body piercing and tatoos?..............do have
i think that there are people who have some really interesting
and well done tattoos... there are also a lot of people who just
got whatever everyone else had and put no thought into it... i
personally would like a tattoo that is something i've personally
drawn or had someone draw for me... a tattoo is pretty much forever
so people should really think before they do it... i do not understand
those who pierce everything on their body, but hey... it's their
body so what do i care? i've had my eyebrow pierced but it came
what's your opinion
in some cases it's sadly needed... in many other cases it's just
because people suck
can I ask a question?
yes. I confess. i just did that to waste your time and be annoying
hohahoha yes it is me santa claus hahoha aloha ha ho ha
damnit santa i've had enough of you and your ho ho ho shit...
stop calling me... stop emailing me and stop shitting in that
spot where you think i should install a fireplace
kan u tell me a way
i kan freak my freinds with a secret message on my profile if
u no a way tell me how brokenhope
profile? freak them out with a secret message? whatever sort of
cheap drugs you're on... i hope you brought enough for the rest
When I take over
the world, I'm going to build a mystical and revoltingly expensive
party island involving copious amounts of attractive young men
and women; perverse sexual games; magical and enchanted forests
and water features, and year after year of general outlandish
indulgence. But I need a guru to sit atop a mountain in a little
exotic-looking shack (with plenty of companions, followers, rugs,
cushions, grapes etc.) for my people to make a pilgrimage to and
ask life's hardest questions. If I succeeded in taking over the
world, could I call upon you for this job?
sure thing... be sure to sterlize everyone before this orgy begins
so that brats aren't popping up all over... kids ruin everything...
also... i want to suggest that you bring in some dinosaurs for
people to play with... i'd like my own army of dinosaurs
Do you think it's
weird to wac off all day, and then the next day trying to break
the record you set the previous day?...please note this was a
one off thing....it lasted 5 days and I stopped cos' of some minor
chaffing.hahaha oh and in case your wondering I got up 14 in one
i don't see a problem... you're not hurting anyone (except for
the minor chaffing on yourself) and if you're on vacation or something
due to the holidays then you can do whatever you want with your
time... so did you beat your record?
How come the Three
Musketeers are called that when they carry swords and not muskets?
i'm sure there is a real answer out there but due to my being
lazy... i will not be finding it for you... instead i offer you
this made up and full of shit reply of 'one day the main guy found
a rock that had musketeer carved into it and he liked it so much
he decided to get some friends and call themselves that'... it's
a good thing YOU can't give ME a bad answer award
Do you have a new
found respect for Jusin Timberlake now that he has blabbed to
the world about fucking brittany spears...........I hate the little
bastard, but ever since he did this I think he is cool (kinda),
too bad he's music is so lame. >:(
i'm not sure what you're talking about as i don't 'follow' that
nonsense... needless to say i have no respect for him, that stupid
bitch or any of those sorts of people... they should give ME their
Are you a vegetarian
or a vegan?
vegetarian... although i will eat fresh fish... does that still
count? basically i don't eat beef, chicken, turkey or anything
Why do I feel like
commiting suicide so much more lately?-ferretchick
the holidays shove everyone (including family) into our faces
causing us to hate the world even more then usual... you just
busy yourself by sending me toys
Should I be concerned
that me and Fartmonkey's moms are getting along suspiciously well
even though they're practically the same person in different bodies?
well i knew they'd slip up eventually... but to distract you from
that i will instead talk about how i didn't know you and fartmonkey
knew each other... so we have another set of friends here... you
and fartmonkey... there is mcdiablo and miss rogers sweater...
mzebonga and empriss nikon (though theirs is more of an internet
love instead of friendship)...
July 5 2004
well i was SUPPOSED to be going away
to get a new job...
went for interviews... gave them my resume and everything... it
all sounded good...
So i get to the place and find out that the bastards lied to me...
it's actually an asylum and they're admitting me! the first few
weeks flew by as i was given one drug after another (and stealing
them from the other patients)... but without a computer i was
beginning to feel alone... so after formulating a great escape
plan, i broke free of my evil captors and ran... (don't worry,
i grabbed enough painkillers for everyone)
now i'm on the run...
I stole a laptop from some guy in a fancy suit... so it seems
that i'll be able to answer questions for now... but i won't be
answering questions about my current location or anything that
will give my whereabouts away to those after me...
Last questions ever answered!