isn't really a question but more of an appraisal. I just found
this site yesterday and I love it! Those answers are straight
from the voices! Hurrah!
the same voices that tell you to pile all the paper you own into
a pile and dance around it naked?? well damnit, start listening
hear that? The voices, they keep telling me to slap her! Should
yes.... how many times must i tell you??? when you do though,
i will begin whispering messages in her ear to do much worse things
really choose whom to love? - Wiki
in ways yes... in other ways no... either way, if it's free then
sign me up
spleens explode when u get REAL MAD!!!
that would just be too convenient for those of that would enjoy
watching/doing that sort of thing
As in pointless and with no substance? Did you ever notice how
kids who really couldn't draw to save their lives used to get
good grades in Art? I find that shocking. - Mzebonga
hey art takes more then spewing out useless information that you
forget a week later... then again all school classes don't really
count unless you luck out and get a GOOD teacher
someone debug the reality? (Omuletzu)
it would take too much... better to just delete and start from
watch the osbournes last night? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course... sure i've seen them all already from getting them
offline... but of course i'll still watch them on tv... especially
since they're uncensored
Why is my
brother such a rap freak? - Miss Roger's Sweater
to disturb and annoy you... sometimes my brother herbert likes
to swing from the ceiling fans to annoy me so i turn them on higher
until he is tossed out the window and into the street
or hours in an unconscious state? - Miss Roger's Sweater
aren't they the same thing?
i always get paired with the 30 somethings, when doing peer editting?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
you're just so mature and everything that they figured it's good
for you to deal with them
Is it bad
that I ate lunch yesterday at 10 in the morning? McDiablo
not unless you were eating my lunch... which i bet you were just
to get back at me for putting jello in your pillow... you have
to admit... it was funny
Did I return
to school to become smarter, or, like Billy Madison, did I go
to prove to my daddy that I'm not a fool? McDiablo
to prove to your daddy that you're not a fool... you become smarter
when you can figure out how to get that trapped couch out of the
stairway and get back to more important things
The money in my
bank account is disappearing! What should I do?? McDiablo
give the rest to me for safe keeping
Why do we
get angry when people laugh at us for some reason, even though
we know they're wrong? (Omuletzu)
it is frustrating when someone doesn't understand 'something'...
so that makes people angry... and besides... other people are
just robots designed by the government to generate revenue
use of a sign that says: "In this office smoking is allowed
every other day. Today, smoking isn't allowed!!!"? (Omuletzu)
it means no smoking ever until that sign is taken away and cast
into the depths of hell
fear and why does it scare us so much? (Omuletzu)
fear is one of those emotions used to get higher ratings... that
and the loss of control over a situation or your head... who here
is afraid of pink carpet? exactly... we ALL are
we're having, huh? (Omuletzu)
crazy like that woman who did that thing to that tree the one
best sex position?
the one where you do all the work and i just enjoy it
of the jock? Vista
kinda like lord of the couch
get dressed and think about going to class or should I just not
i say get dressed... pretend you're at class and that's enough
effort to count
it mean when you forget how to spell your name? Vista
it means it's time to start over... so just go home and rethink
the whole day before you begin again
Mind your P's and Q's originate and what does it stand for????
it comes from somewhere... i have the answer in a book somewhere
but let's face it...i haven't had enough coffee to be motivated
enough to get off my ass and find the it
the colours on the pencil crayons?- Junque
you a sock monkey pimp? (Omuletzu)
sometimes yes... other times it's just a hobby
you often annoyed by static electricity? Do you get shocked often
by common houseold items? Have you ever been shocked by water?
It appears that I get shocked by touching water. This bothers
me, and makes me wonder. everyone I've asked has never had this
happen before. Does this mean that water doesn't like me? Please
answer soon DC.--InsaneLane
static electricity and i have 'an understanding'... the walls
shock me daily... water plots against me in my dreams... and i
don't think the water likes any of us really insane people
you so busy with? (Omuletzu)
strangely enough no one sends me money so that i dont have to
work... so i have to spend time doing actual work if you can believe
the names of Santas reindeer
dopy, monkey2, spazland, george, alfred and cindylou
ok i know
dis guy on da net and was wonderin shud i meet him or not?
sure but if you wind up dead then i can't be held responsible
know that Charles Mingus (famous jazz double-bassist) wrote a
song called "If Bird [Charlie parker, best saxophonist ever]
was a gunslinger, there'd be a lot of dead imitations"? Did
you also know that he trained his cat to use the toilet, and that
he hit the streets of New York with a bow and a suitcase full
of arrows? He was one crazy dude - Fish
i didn't know all that but he's right
you like to join me in a ancient gallic game, in which we throw
a 40 kg rock at each other, and the loser is the person who collapses
from exhaustion and is crushed to death when the rock falls on
them? Very fun, if rather consequential. - Fish
sounds delightful... sign me up
I hate the
internet cache! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Do something
about it, can you? (Omuletzu)
i say delete it all... reformat your machine and bury it in the
do my homework or find ways to prolong my 'brain break'? McDiablo
prolonging something is a useful skill... i say work on that
Did I get
up too early again this morning? McDiablo
Sweaters' mom is always claiming that she does not hear her alarm
go off in the morning, when in truth, it really does. How can
she prove this to her? McDiablo
rig up an eleborate pulley system and prove her wrong...
I want to
know more about Bondage and what you prefer?I'd like you dressed
in Leather and be my teacher.PLEASE? :>)
you can learn all you'd like about bondage on the internet...
and i prefer not having things stuck up my ass while i'm all bound
up... unless i've agreed to it beforehand... i don't like leather
but i'll wear pvc... and damn straight i'll teach you... now lick
this phrase please "Could you stop trying to read my mind?Im
wearing pants!!!"....im very confused and flustered by this,
maybe its my stupidity or a closed narrow mind but i still cant
find the sense in this, unless the persons mind is in there legs
and when you wear pants your mind reading rays are block so he/she
is just stating theres no use trying.Do you think that is accurate?
If not what is your interpretation of this quotation.
i think it's trying to convey the feeling of everything not really
mattering because some asteroid will come out of nowhere and just
blast us into nothingness... and all because of the discovery
like you. will you go out with me? - Wiki
ok but you're paying
know that menstrual cramps can get so bad it feels like you're
being stabbed in your lower abdomen multiple times with a knife?
Can you FEEL the pain?? McDiablo
well, having been stabbed multiple times, i think i can begin
to understand... oh no wait... that was a movie
I am hearing
evil laughter upstairs. My brother is playing a video game and
that laughter is coming from a crazed clown. What should I do?
kill the clown... but only if you have the magic sword that you
found in a red egg
of my brother, he has just discovered his hidden talent ... that
being the ability to whistle. He's going a bit overboard with
it ... can I smack him upside the head and tell him to lay off?
no... just burn his lips with something and he'll stop for awhile
you could use a persuasion course. If your little voices that
we all hear would be more persuasive, then maybe we would send
you money and... darn! I don't have a question! Forgive me, please!
i'll forgive you if you send me money... send me money... .send
to the library for six hours on a saturday a bad thing? - Miss
depends on what section you were in the majority of the time...
at the library this guy i would say in his 40's came up to me
with his son's math homework, and asked me if i could explain
it to him. luckily it was just "hundreds", "tens"
and "ones" but my question is.. what the hell? - Miss
well maybe it's really his homework and he decided to ask a complete
stranger he'd never see again instead of someone who would explain
it to him and forever mock him
my brother and i leave my house my neighbour always asks my mom
to come over for a meal.. is this a conspiracy for my brother
and i to starve to death? or an attempt to make us feel left out?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
she wants your mom as her mom so she's trying to lure her over
with food... you have to cook and bake to win your mom back or
it's dirty laundry forever
that what you call a get away? Tell me what you got away with..."
- Miss Roger's Sweater
i got away with that thing that one time that i swore i'd never
tell anyone about
you ever seen Austin Powers in Goldmember? I have....funny! ^^)
no i haven't yet... but i will
Hi its me
I have been laying low for a while and will continue to do so
what have you been up to? - dane
i have been up to working ... and sitting on my ass... oh and
playing with my tail
you do if you found out that there were people talking shit about
you behind your back? Vista
well i would decide they're stupid and ignore them... or confront
them and tell them to shut the hell up...
that story have to be so weird? Vista
it wouldn't be a story without it
Is it appropriate
to call Literature homework Lit. Shit? Vista
no... it sounds more fun that way
I keep having
this dream about a girl only I am a girl too does this mean I
am a lesbian?
no it means you have dreams
How do I
get a girl to like me?
ANY girl? well some you can pay... she can pretend to like you
your favorite brand of hair tonic? I don't mean most effective..I
mean which one tastes the best for chugging contests? FartMonkey
hmmm... i'd have to say none... and you can't make me
I went to
bed with a splitting headache and woke up with it still there,
in fact it was worse than ever, i could barely walk and shit...
what the fuck is wrong with me? how many aspirins do i have to
take to stop it? or is it maybe because i took too many aspirins???
maybe you have issues with alcohol... or migranes... or sleeping
on beds made of sharp glass that jab into your head causing your
head to bleed all over and damnit just who the hell is going to
clean that mess up?
why do people
like sally exist? please tell me why?? - SiNiSTaR
well if people like sally didn't exist... then people like you
wouldn't exist... or people like that guy down the street... or
that chick with the dog that barks... or that kid that has that
toy with that thing but i think he lost it
they called goosebumps and not turkeybumps or something? - SiNiSTaR
have you seen geese? they're mean and scary... turkeys can't fly
out of nowhere and peck your eyes out
How do you
tell someone nicely that they have really bad BO and that it could
be used as a biological weapon, it is so potent and offensive?
leave them some 'self-help' brochures on their doorstep... or
have the 'you've become an adult so now you have to wear deodorant'
keep writing "depastment" instead if "department".
your past is coming to haunt you
make the crazy foaming wild cats stop meowing?plz hurry or there's
gonna be road kill...~SG*
scream... and just keep on screaming until the situation has changed
you do if people started to type 'Dear DC,' at the beggining of
each question and something like 'Love always,' or 'Sincerly,'
and the person's nick name?So it would say something like "Dear
DC; (enter question here);Love always,(enter nick name here)''
that would be very annoying
When i photocopied
my ass it cAME OUt REAlly BIG - why? and if you don't answer,
u can SPANK MY LITTLE BOTTY!!!
fax it to me
writing instructor apologized to me for the comments she made
on my latest assignment. How should I feel about this? McDiablo
say you want it in writing... but you should feel good that they
my dad going to do with the recent pylon I received? Burn it?
Use it as a table leg? Make it talk again, perhaps?? McDiablo
i think he's going to paint it up and send it around the world
my friend and her dad paint their garage? McDiablo
in about a week... or else they'll leave it for months
Is it okay
to just suddenly say, "Let's smoke some dope" even though
you have no intention to do so? McDiablo
yes... however sometimes it doesn't go over so well during a trip
with the family... especially if you haven't brought enough for
I like holes
but why are there holes in my swiss cheese? - Wiki
the cheese worms have eaten it away
the difference between a strawberry shake and Jennifer Lopez's
only the strawberry is real... the other is fiction
sure you're a doctor?
yes... so get naked already
all those idiots breeding more idiots... it has got to STOP
School sucks, I told my parents that if they agreed not to disown
me. I would drop out of Private school and go to a real school.
Then they could give me the tuition money. It did not work, so
I decided to put glitter in the air vents. Is this a good thing?
yes... private school is very annoying
feel naked without cozies? the toilet paper? what about telephones
or vibrators? how about a little crocheted cozie for my dildo?
with plastic rolly eyes made in china? or for big stuff like the
stove or refrigerator? if you follow the cozie continuum, doesn't
the universal cozie become conscious within the timespace continuum,
covering everything with yarn and quilting, interspersed by plastic
demi-dollies, their puckered rumps at the pupil of curly, knit
ruffles spiraling out infinitely to conceal god?--enfa.trblehh
yes ... would you like to feel my beating stick?
Do you shave
anything and if so what?
depends on my mood and what sort of sexual costume i'll be wearing
last thing that made you cry?
well when i sat on that sharp thing and it went through my tail
give a us a motivational speech about why sending you money and
gifts is a worthwhile hobby and possible career for those with
exceptional talent for the craft?--Enfanta Te
well i mean you're just gonna blow it on something shitty anyways...
so might as well give me money to keep you amused and send you
strange shit that will amuse you awhile longer...
want to know a few things: Y don't U eat meat/fish? if not then
would you consider trying tube-steak? - Wiki
no i don't eat meat/fish... and you'd have to pay me
like my professor, which should i do: start a riot or kill her?
learn on your own, show up just for tests and no big deal
He was a
punk. She did ballet. What more can I say?
you could say you were gonna send me presents and money
i get angelia jolie porn
you email her and politely ask for it
Why is that
orange highlighter so damn fascinating??? McDiablo
it's all that orange... which is actually the pink and yellow
together so you're getting two in one
ever answered a question within a question? McDiablo
many many times... and that once when i put a question mark in
but i wasn't asking a question
days when you think, "Dammit, I can't take this anymore!
I hate answering questions!! Make them stop sending me questions!!!!!!"
... or have you come to accept that answering these silly questions
is your destiny? McDiablo
i go into denial every once in awhile... and then i snap out of
it and have to answer them all again because jcp is whipping me
in a 'not fun' way and makes my bottom bleed
are in the birth control pill?
anti-sperm and powdery stuff
Do you believe
in the free-flow of infomation? Do you think that as CD's are
priced at such extorntionate rates, that peer-to-peer filesharing
is a good thing? Do you believe that friends should share CD's
full of mp3s between themselves? Do you know where I can get a
good coffee? - Fido Dido
mostly yes... yes in many ways... i say that if you like a band
and want to support them, then you buy their album to show that
support... there are many bands i've gotten into by downloading
a few songs... without that i wouldn't even know about them...
if i truly support them and their music then i buy their albums...
misery loves company is one i can think of that i've done this
with... and i go to tim hortons because they put crack in the
wax of the cups... when they pour in the coffee... the wax melts
just a bit to release the crack... so i'm addicted
my brother's girl friend came over and stayed for about four hours...
the whole time my brother was sleeping downstairs.. what the heck?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
well maybe her house sucks... or she's secretly in love with you
and just using your brother
do you enjoy
the art of essay writing? cuz it sure doesn't enthuse me.,. -
Miss Roger's Sweater
i enjoy it if i'm not being told/forced to do it
are oatmeal cookies? - Miss Roger's Sweater
very cool if they aren't moldy
mind being a reference for me? i'm applying to become a girl guide
leader.. even though i have never been involved in girl guides
before.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
sure... i'll say you know how to tie knots real well... and make
people think of cookies
do you enjoy
cancelled classes as much as i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater
twice as much... but then again i'm not in school anymore
the quickest way for me to kill myself?
if you have a gun then a shot to the head should do it... if not
then just rip open yourself with a knife... either way send me
all your cool stuff before you do it
says they are a vegetarian, does it mean that they can't eat meat,
or no meat could be in their body(besides their own meat)? Because
we all know that it could get into their bodies by other means.
it means they chose not to eat meat (instead of can't) ... now
some people still eat fish... some won't eat anything that has
a chicken broth or any sort of meat-based product in it... some
ask what type of oil is used for frying things... some people
don't eat egg or dairy items either... so there are different
'levels' of being a vegetarian
great I got a job, and now I will get a pay check. Even though
it will be minimum wage. Now the bad thing is I have to show up
for work. Oh no I have become a member of the working class. My
one true nightmare. Well at least now I can get really stoned
and go to work. My question is, do you know of any way to earn
mass quantitys of money with doing little to no work? (Namless)
become a porn star... or marry some rich fuck who is stupid enough
to hand over all their money... it's pretty much the same job...
money for sex
Oh ya, what
do you do when strange people come up to you and start talking
to you like they know you. Though you dont really know if they
know you or not, because you stoped paying atention to almost
every thing, almost all the time? (Nameless)
you make a loud noise... look startled... then run away
ever have sex with miss piggy?
i don't really remember...
Do you like
cheese?If so what kinda cheese?Do you like holy cheese?I do.Holy
cheese is yum.mmm holy cheese...........................-The Cheese
yes... cheddar... no...
we had a
sex ed lesson @ skool 2day, and i was wondering .....why is the
sky blue? i mean why is there any point!
there is NO point to ANY of it
wat is a
penis? do u have one? i think i might have one!
its that thing... you know... that THING...
wats a circumcision?
do girls have them?
yes but naturally
i caught my (young) sock monkey flickin through the monkey porn
pages onn ur internet site.... he later decided it would be fun
to have a threesome with Barbie and Sindy....is there a legal
age for sock monkeys or is it jus a free for all?
its a free for all
Why is our
mayor such a dumbass? Vista
it's his job
a reason why my dad calls 'The View' the Chicken Hour? Vista
no idea because i don't know what 'the view' is
Is the science
of everyday life really THAT interesting? Vista
yes it is... now damnit sit up straight and pay attention
i will admit
i've been away for some time.the men in the nice clean white suits
gave me a "new" experi"mental" pills ,these
were red and green, after that everything was happy some how.happy
but dull, they robed me of my imagination, i mean sure the neon
red and green trials every thing had looked nice but not enough
to entertain me life boering and uninsane so i escaped again and
now im baerly geting better so my question is why do the guys
in white suits want to make people happy by ripping them apart
from the world they love? never agian i say "i " am
happy now. db"_" p.s. im back.
welcome back... the guys in white suits are actually mice dressed
up as men in white suits and they are running experiments on us
you to write nurse on acid? Its a funny story, and I would say
you have done a wonderfull job at keeping me and all the other
insane people occupied. (Nameless)
why thank you and i was inspired by a nurse friend of mine who
was once on acid
Why do some
people like to peirce thier croch ?
some people like that
Mr.Fork and Ms.Electrical Outlet be freinds ?
they can but it will be a short relationship
If an old
lady knocks on your door and asks if you have found jesus what
do you do ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
say yes and that you returned him last week
How do i
milk a bag of doritos ?
the meaning of exsistance ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
whatever you make it
If a Llama
asks for directions to canada how do i aply aloe to his sugar
coated muse ? - VileWeaselSqueezer
carefully and calmly
Bites me on the head do i get super powers ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
no just a massive headache and fleas
people lick thier elbows ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
some people can... and if you can't then get someone else to
sock monkey give me head for $20 ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
Is it so
wrong to play a video game when one must blow up cars and kill
pedestrians in order to reach the next level? McDiablo
no... those games are fun... especially grand theft auto 3
buy a sundial? McDiablo
no i can make my own
guilty pleasure? McDiablo
no idea... i don't feel guilt about any of my pleasures... yet
does it take gum to go stale and crunchy? i hate it when you get
all excited at the store to get a good pack of gum and then you
go home and unwrap it and shove it into your mouth and it snaps
and loses flavor really fast.
get better gum...
these people sending in 'questions' that are really lyrics to
some stupid avril lavigne songs? - SiNiSTaR
they are annoying and since i don't always know the dumbass songs
they're from i end up answering them
my table fan makes that meowing sound? - SiNiSTaR
it's not fastened down properly and one of the blades is touching
it mean when i have a sharp pain in my right side, i can't walk
properly and i feel nauseous constantly? - SiNiSTaR
it means there may be rain on its way
three different questions and deleted them all before submitting
this one... what do you think of that? - SiNiSTaR
i think you're just too bad-ass for me... oh no wait... no you're
does extacy stay il your urine
i wouldn't know i don't ingest that shit
why is a
girl a "slut" if she hooks up with a lot of guys, and
a guy is "player" or "pimp" if he hooks up
with a bunch of girls?
it's called a 'double-standard' which means that people fucking
suck so they do shit like that
if i gave
my dog 6 hits of acid and got him to come with me on a road trip
to the swimmin pool and hooked him up with a cat in the pool,
wut do u think they'd do? -UnCy CiD
i think i'd hunt you down and kick your ass for giving your dog
How do you
eat cheese?I need help.I keep missing my mouth!- The Cheese Mister
first... put down the cheese... now move just your head to it...
that's it... eat it off the floor...
If the meek
inherit the earth will the strong take it back off them?- The
lets face it... when the meek inherit the earth that means that
everyone else is dead... and they'll be so meek no one will take
control and then the earth will fall into the sun and end this
again ! Do you know what ( antidisestablishmentarianism ) means
yes i do and i'm not a dictionary so look it up your damned self
if YOU don't know what it is
school start later
it shouldn't... if anything it should start earlier so the damn
parents will be off the streets by the time i go to work
is betovens music
over there to the left
wonders why I exsist? (I bet you knew this was coming) Another
person who doesn't like me, he can just be added to the list.
Oh and and maybe his cat farts on purpose because as you know
I have an excellent relationship with the cats. They do what I
ask what can I say...... I didn't know what to get you so I didn't
get you anything from my trip so its your fault you didn't say
what you wanted. Hows Life? Your friend Sally
yes the cats are quite happy with you... and life keeps coming
at me over and over and i think it just might not stop... even
the loud angry won't scare it away
you think of my nasally voice? McDiablo
kind of annoying... but not annoying enough... work on it
My mom and
sister are giggling upstairs ... uhh, what the heck is going on
up there? McDiablo
they're hiding the mess they made before anyone finds out
pie have to be so dirty? McDiablo
it's the filling... if it weren't for that then it'd be ok...
well the shell is dirty too... so without them it's fine
become a porn star, I have even made several home videos. ( I
left the cammera on while some chick gave me head.) They are not
very good videos. ( I swore the camera was turned off.) The thing
is my cock has about a 10 degree angle to the left.Not only that,
I only measure about 6 and 3/4 inches. Average right? Its too
bad I am cursed with an average cock, or I would be in porn. Oh
ya I dont watch to much porn how about you? (Namless.)
hey you can sell ANYTHING online... and i don't measure dicks
for a living so i don't really know the average... and no i don't
watch as much porn as i used to
... why am I up? Vista
there is a 7:55AM???
REALLY in banana bread? Vista
sometimes... other times its just an elaborate ploy
I woke up
this morning and my feet were cold, so I put on some socks. Did
I do the right thing? Vista
many would say no... but i completely support your decision and
did the same thing myself this morning
Do you believe
it's not butter? Vista
its raining out?really tell me the weather patterns and the cycle
well first there will be some okay weather... then things will
suck for a bit... then be okay again for awhile... and then that
weird weather will hit and then you'll be confused again
ever been touched in private areas by a strnger with a glove ?
what if they have a 'hello my name is' sticker on... does that
count as a stranger?
how do i
take a hicky off my neck
use the vacuum to just suck them off
have permission to shave your goat please? -VileWeaselSqueezer
you have to ask the goat
Why do i
get enjoyment out of this lovly webstite? - VileWeaselSqueezer
you're sick and twisted... so you're welcome back at any time
If the imperial
order decides to blow up earth what happens to all the sockmonkeys
? - VileWeaselSqueezer
they leave with the dolphins before the earth is blown up
If i decide
to peirce my self in 37 different places , shave my head , die
my scalp purple , wear pants that fall off my ass , a shirt that
says disturbing things, no underoos, white and black make up all
over my body , tatoos that cover most of my body , and stop bathing
will people start notcing me ? Or should i just worship the devil
and shoot 666 people including myself ?
the first bit will just make you blend in with the rest of them...
the devil doesn't exist... but the shooting of 666 people will
get you noticed... just make sure you hit those people who blast
the bass in their cars
you do for a clondike bar ? - VileWeaselSqueezer
nothing... just give it to me
thought of drinking milk from a cow. Did some insane fuck just
go up and say Hey im thirsty as all hell so i think i will squeez
the things on this fat digusting smelly thing and drink what ever
comes out of it. Is that what happened or do you have a beter
theroy ? - Vile Weasel Squeezer
probably the same person who decided to eat the egg that came
out of a chickens ass
Do the voices
inside my head bother you ? - Vile Weasel squeezer
no... unless they start arguing with the voices in my head
I like to
do my homework in pitch black dark and i turn disturbing punk
rock music on as loud as i possibly can.... Is that normal for
a 14 yearold?
well you might want to invest in a desk lamp... but other then
that i see no problem
Is it true
that some people like to watch other people have sex ? wwhy is
yes... and i don't know... but it sure is better then those people
who like FEET... that's just sick
I wana know......
Are sock monkeys immortal gods or are you just a sad 50 year old
man masturbating to theese question thnking of our long hot lucious
no to both...
ever had sexual intercourse with a large turtle? If not how bout
a fuzzy rabit? A rodent ? Or do you like to masturbate as oftenly
as you can?
no... not yet... no... and of course
kill germs ? - Vile Weasel Squeezer
only if you ask them nicely
Can I have
some of your blood?i'll do anything for it~SG*
anything? anything at all?
I have a
"protien" stain on my pants from masturbating during
class.... how would one remove such a substance from their undergarments?
a mix of glue, water and flour
Ok, so I'm
walking through the crowd when some guy approaches me and... he
acts like he knows me, we shake hands, he asks me how I've been
and stuff... really friendly. But then he starts telling me that
he is in big trouble, his brother is in the hospital and stuff
and he needs money. That's when I tell him "bye" and
leave, so he starts yelling profanity at me. I laugh at him, but
I'm faking cause I feel mad... why does he have to curse and say
nasty things to me because I don't want to give him money? Maybe
I don't have any... (Omuletzu)
next time bitch slap him and run away crying...
ago I wrote a behemoth question that bothered you and you didn't
answer. Here's the essence! You can answer with yes, no... but
please answer!"Am I responsible for all the corruption in
this country? Can I change anything? Will I ever make a difference?
Will I ever do what I like? Will I live forever, or die poor and
sick and with no friends? I just wanna know, but I don't trust
the crystal ball! Don't use that shitty trick on me! Just tell
me I'm a pathetic loser and it'll never get better... or tell
me how to make it better." (Omuletzu)
partly... yes... a small one... if you don't give up... die with
no friends... you make it better yourself
so many beggars of all ages in this country. I hear that some
are even organised, have a leader who gets all the money and takes
care of them, or beats them if they don't bring enough money (this
applies especially to children). Others beg so they can buy booze.
Only some really use the money for food or clothes. Some fake
injuries... So, my question is: if I'm to give money to a beggar,
how do I choose him? How do I know he really needs my money? And
another thing: it bothers me to see a beggar in front of a big
supermarket - you can't get in or out without hearing them - yesterday
an old woman said something about kissing my hand and stuff (Eww!)...
and they all use God in their texts... (Omuletzu)
ask them what they will use it for... if they say food then buy
them dinner or some food... ask them how to classify who should
get it or not since they'd probably know better then i would...
I read last night - might be fiction, but then again... It was
during the communist period, when people had to give up all theyr
valuables unles they wanted to go to jail and maybe never return.
"Give up all your gold and we won't arrest you!" So
a guy came to the police and said: "This is my gold, 20 pieces."
The policemen counted it and said: "Wait! There's only 19
pieces here... maybe you lost one at home or something, go and
look for it." And the man went home and came with another
piece of gold. "Aha! There wasn't any piece missing - you
brought 20! This means you still have gold at home!!", said
the policeman as he arrested him... I don't know what to think
of this. The man with the gold whould have been more careful?
Was the policeman too smart? Who was right and who was wrong?
well if the man had borrowed it from someone instead of arguing
with the cops then the cop is wrong... but all in all... the communists
didn't exactly have it right anyways
you think about getting involved with someone at work? and where
do you think is the best place in the office to have wild passionate
yet very discreet sex? btw, theinsanedomain kicks ass and i think
dc should be president and he should get his tail stroked everyday.-
i think as long as the people doing that think then its ok...
in your office with a closed door... and having my tail stroked
every day would be something i'd enjoy enough to overlook the
annoyingness of being president
anyone bring a new jimmy story to this hell hole of a site, when
i say "hell hole" i say it with a smile on my face and
a hand in my pocket. anyways i want more jimmy stories.you can
take this as a demand, request, or a come on. whatever gets the
ball moving and a new jimmy story on this site.do you feel like
the dali lama? i mean some people go to great leangths to find
this site (or find it searching for porn site) and then they ask
you a question that bearly intrest you and they expect the answer
to change their life. do you like peanut butter sandwiches?--db"_"
well we haven't thought much about jimmy lately... but since you've
brought it up i'll make note of it and see if any more are kicking
around... i have no idea how people find this site when they're
searching... but if my sock monkey porn brings them in... then
that means more people are seeing my ass and that's just great...
and yes i do like peanut butter sandwiches
why is the
mailman on Mr.Roger's Neighbourhood named Mr. McFeely? is he a
pediphile? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's because he's feeling himself under the mailbag
tunes from 1995 as bad as it sounds? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not really... and if it's faith no more then i'll let you touch
my tail for free
the girls who sit in front of me in creative writing class always
write about sex no matter what we're suppose to be writing about..
- Miss Roger's Sweater
they are stupid and have nothing better to think about...
why am i
so frickin' tired? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i think it's that whole 7am thing you had mentioned
if you had
a duck what would you call him
harold and then we'd swim and swim and swim
I dont see
the problem with devil worship
well to believe in a devil you have to believe in god... for me,
that is a problem
i will send
you money if you give me a good question award for this...
give me the money first
Are you bi?
sometimes yes but being bi-polar isn't always as difficult as
Why do some
people choose to live thier lifes like a normal person ? i think
that freaks should be considered normal dont you ?
normal is one of those words that has lost meaning... people should
live their lives as they want to a certain degree... if there
were less humans, then more could enjoy their lives
get an element skateboard or a blind ?
fooled by the attempt to look like you've been working hard on
the site by rearranging the front page. I wasn't going to ask
this at all and I have never complained before but, where the
hell are the answers to August's what ifs and questionare? I can
appreciate bold laziness but, your half-assed distraction from
the fact of your laziness is an insult.Just admit that sometimes
when you come home from work you would rather spend the evening
drinking or masturbating than amusing and abusing the mentally
i had completely forgotten... they are now up... and the ones
from sept will be done this weekend
anyone answer the question: "what's up?" with "the
sky"? it's just so gay. that's it -Spukny
bitch slap them ... and don't teach them to say 'the oppisite
I got a
7 week old kitten yesterday. How cool is that? (Her name is Pepper)
very cool... welcome to the ranks of the cats
the coughing fits go away? When....WHEN!!???!! McDiablo
never... well ok when you die
is cut in a different way, is it still bologna? McDiablo
it is never what it appears to be even when sliced a million different
Sweater and I have WAY too much fun in our Psychology class. Should
we just shut up and start learning? McDiablo
no just quiet down and learn a bit... just enough to understand
why people are so screwed and how to get money out of them
is on a cleaning spree.. should i pack my bags and run for the
hills? - Miss Roger's Sweater
hell no... set out laundry for him... get him to clean the bathroom...
clean your room out for you
in the prairies
they don't really have hills.. so where do they run to? - Miss
they just run and run and run until they collapse in the fields
Am i gonna
do well on my essay on George Orwell's "shooting an elephant"?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
of course... unless you count that whole bit about the shoes
is it ok
to go get a slurpee if a class gets out early? what if it's not
your class? - Miss Roger's Sweater
sure it is... and even better
in my hair are doing funky things, does it look like i have devil
horns? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes they do... i say keep them
ok i got
a GOOD ass question!!!!!!!! ok if your sooo fukkin smart and know
everything what is my GIRLFREINDS name??? huh??? what is it???
i'll tel u my name and u can fingure hers out. my name is Glenn.
hahahahahah good luck buh bye
as if you have a girlfriend
like to taste some decongestion nasal spray?..id made it alll
by myself!well..with a little help from my goat but all he did
was make the bottle..i did the rest!taste!!!
i refuse! i resist! you can't make me!
I like cows
dont you ?
i like them when they are standing away from me and not shitting
on my feet or putting themselves in my food
boys realy deserve fudge ?
of course... how else will you learn?
once a curtius
bus driver told me to go fuck myself what do i do
do what the driver says
i love you
will you fuck me
no you don't but sure
if a dog
humps my leg sould i hump him back? (ieatcrayons)
no... just let him do his thing
i come to terms with my father
in a few years
talking to yourself, is there anyone home?
a whole bunch of them... but i think they're all out at some party
without me right now
Yes I would
do anything.How can i get it?~SG*
send me money... send me cds and dvds that i want... and then
i'll send it to you
is is weird
that i buy milk at 10pm? - Miss Roger's Sweater
what is weird is that no radio station ever plays the music i
like or talks about interesting shit... so i say that i am given
my own radio show so i can hear what i want
is it weird
that we were talking about eating babies in english class tonight?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
no it's a valid topic
sitting for Sistah B this weekend.. should i have a wild college
party, or just watch SNL with the dog? - Miss Roger's Sweater
wild college parties are annoying so i say sit with the dog and
just trash the place yourself
i was all in the dark, what is this stuff i keep touching around
me? - Wiki -
dead bodies, dust, lavalamps, rocks, cars, speakers, pills, plastic
bags, furniture, cat litter, marilyn mansons boot collection,
light bulbs, broken cameras, plastic bins, candles, pillows, violent
DC I started
my Job, It really sucks. This is one of those times when I feel
like puting glitter in the air conditioning unit so it rains glitter
all over the entier store. I really want to do this a buissy thime
so it causes mass panic. Hopefully my boss will be killed in the
panic, by some deranged mother with a shoping cart. Sounds like
fun. What do you think. ( Namless.)
i say do it and tell me how it goes... take pictures too
what if i were to dance the hula in blue bosy paint?
i'd clap along
Oh ya, I
was talking to a mouse and it turns out that the whole cat taking
over the world thing was just a front. Really The mice are performing
strange experiments on some cats and brainwashing the rest to
do their biding. The cats behavior when trying to kill me was
due to an experimental drug they like to call Cat-nip X. When
admisterd It has some of the imediate efects of cat-nip. Prolonged
use causes the cats hunter instincts to increas. Not to mention
their ability to reason and plan is alterd to make them almost
perfect killers. The only way to stop them is to clap your hands
3 times and say, "Se va?" They were french mice. At
least I feel safe for now. How about You? (Nameless)
i feel like there are so many horrible things going on wrong around
me but as long as i've got a computer then i can send them letters
telling them how stupid they all are
my mom just
asked me if i made any new friends at school.. why the heck did
she just ask me that? - Miss Roger's Sweater
she wants to make sure you haven't found some freak friend who
is telling you that the only true way is through shaving your
head and handing out pictures of broken lamps
Do you like
Goulash? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i don't think so
secret of success? What's
the price of success? What is success anyway?Do we need success
and if we do, why? (Omuletzu)
success is one of those things that is hard to define so i'll
answer with a bird call <insert bird call here> and a reference
to mike patton and tomahawk 'the cats in the bag and the bag's
in the river'
Pepper, is sleeping on my lap...but I want to have a shower. Hmm,
what to do...what to DO? McDiablo
you sit there and damn well wait for pepper to tell you when you
is it that there is kitty litter that smells like cloves? I mean,
I hate the smell of cloves, but how cool is that? McDiablo
there is? send me some
mom sees holes in socks, she says they are religious socks "because
they are very holey/holy." Good grief, can you make it stop!?
put duct tape over the holes in your socks and on your moms mouth
holes are in this cracker?
there is no cracker... it just wants you believe there is a cracker
cabbage patch kids so dang ugly? Are they supposed to look like
cabbage? If so, what kind of person(besides someone who was been
blind since birth) would want to waste their good money and shiny
objects that could be donated to you on a little piece of plastic
shaped like a butt-ugly doll? FartMonkey
the head of a cabbage patch kid is on the top of a lamp in my
parents backyard... patrick isn't shiny anymore
why do dumb
ass's have sex it just pisses us normel......i mean fucking insaine
peaople off i mean they do it and then have a kid then the kid
gets the shitless brain the parents had and so forth i mean at
least give the dumb ass a condum and show him the directions and
since the dumb ass cant read you of course have to read it to
him you now what the fuck im saying ~IeAtCrAyOnS~
EXACTLY ... it should be way harder to breed... i mean seriously...
they aren't smart enough to figure out a condom but it's ok for
them to breed? its horrible out there... all the smart people
aren't having kids cuz they don't want the dumbasses with their
dumb kids screwing everything up
i was sitting at the brakfast tabel and i just looked at this
donut....., and it just didnt do any thing (same as me right)
so i got quite disturbed and blerted out at the donut scouldingly
you mock me fucking donut, your nothing but a fried syclops.......
now i fell bad do you think i did the right thing sincerly ~IeAtCrAyOnS~
i think you should say sorry unless it's one of those maple covered
donuts.. they're bastards
my friend Miguel is from another planet, he has never seen "batteries
not included". Could I be wrong?
i say you show it to him and if he acts strange then tear off
of freak do you think I am? FartMonkey
one of those fartmonkey types.. you know how i mean... all farty...
have anything to do with the whole mailing people anthrax thing?
no i'd be out putting stuff in the water that makes everyone sterile
tell me the difference between the words 'thing' and 'thang'?
I know they're used the same, but differently somehow, and I want
to know what it is.FartMonkey
dumbasses use thang... everyone else uses thing
kinds of cheeses are there? FartMonkey
so many i've seen a poster filled with them all
some official classification system for feces? Excluding sanimal,
I mean? FartMonkey
there probably is... humans attempt to understand the world by
naming everything and then trying to eat/kill/destroy/sell/fuck
it... so i'm sure there is a database out there with all the names
I don't want to ask you another question? Huh? What you gonna
do? You gonna call the police? Oooh I'm so scared cause I didn't
ask a question and you.......what was I talking about?
i am going to make you hang out with the bitch that is always
screaming at her son
is the land of lollipops and gumdrops? Vista
i'm not telling you... and you can't make me
... they confuse me. Why? Well, why the heck is there a letter
B there? Is there a point in having the B there .. or is it just
there is a meaning for it... and if you search real hard you will
find the answer and say 'oh.'
Just a spoonful
of sugar to help the medicine go down? Vista
i tried that and it didn't help at all... so now they usually
include it in the medicine
Why do I
feel like I've gained a hundred pounds after consuming some fetuccine
you consumed a hundred pounds of it... when you puke it all out
you'll be fine
I told the
"banana boat, schmanana boat" and they told me that
if I didn't correct my attitude they'd beat my face in and knock
my teeth out. I said that was fine because I have really bad tooth
ache and don't like dentists and they said "okay, hold still,
sissy boy". I said: "Hang on, who are you calling sissy
boy, Mr Clooney - I've seen that video of you in drag". He
broke my nose and I still have to go to the dentist. Should I
exact retribution? - Mzebonga
yes you should... i say bitch slap him (when isn't a bitch slap
the answer?) and then rearrange all his furniture and delete his
appointments out of his palmpilot... that will show the bastard
If the meek
inherit the earth will the strong take it bak off them? - The
maybe but i'm not telling you because you would get bored and
Do you like
cheese?Or bananas?Or maeby just plain old socks? - The Cheese
Mister (loves you)
yes and yes and sometimes but not when they're stiff from sweat
or Futurama? - Fido Dido
usually the simpsons but i've seen almost all of them and so i
watch futurama now
my mom get dressed? McDiablo
only after you are sufficiently embarrassed
My 13 year
old brother is going to a paintball place today. My dad had to
sign a waiver form and give a phone number in case he gets hurt/killed.
Should I be concerned for his safety? McDiablo
no... that's what the waiver is for... that makes it so no one
has to worry
happen if I drank a mocha frappacinno and then, a few hours/minutes
later, bought and drank a Slurpee? I'm thinking about trying this
one day. McDiablo
i say do it... ignore those who may say it can't be done... but
Why do people
sue other people for their stupid ass bad decisions? which method
would you chose to kill these people?
its easier to figure out a way to LEAVE the planet
can I put
a sardine on your head?-syko morgana
eat tuna does your cat crawl on your back and try to get some
of it? and dont say to me"I dont eat tuna" you know
very well you love tuna and you eat it all the time, so c'mon
tell me, does your cat crawl on your back when you eat tuna?--syko
no i don't eat tuna but i do buy it for her because she likes
it... she meows and meows and demands i feed it all to her at
that moment and then threatens me with her paws of fury
Do you believe
in the idea of concentration camps for stupid people? Can I be
a guard there?
well i don't think they deserve to die painfully... well ok maybe
i do... and yes you can
fetch me a crocodile hunter?
is it so over-ratted? Am I the only one who just thinks "to
hell with the saliva slopping lets just get to the sex" and
what should we do with the little fucks who like to dry hump each
other in public?
i say we bitch slap them... and i am not one for excessive kissing
or fondling in public... kissing is for highschoolers and those
who have nothing to say
i think of ways to protect myself from the ignorance that propagates
itself around me. it flourishes on human inadequacy to form independent,
intelligent thought, it thrives on our not having to extend ourselves
beyond the commercially aesthetic, empty, useless, mindless drivel
we take in each day. but i am not immune.as i type this, i'm searching
Yahoo for pictures of gavin rossdale oh the humiliation...
i'm searching for the question in that... nope... no questions
has become so much simpler for stupid people to breed, are employers
going to lower their expectations and school systems lower their
curriculum to keep up with the demand?
of course... maybe a few wars to thin the masses a bit
is it wrong
that i am going to go on a flashcard run? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not wrong... just one of those things
cupcakes a great invention? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course... send me some now
van + slurpee
= way too much fun? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i don't like the van part
not know that when i asked why people like Sally exist, i meant
the Sally that works at my college who is such a cunthead? Not
the Sally on this Ask DC page? - SiNiSTaR
i had assumed nothing... just a random sally until the sally i
do know posted on here... and now she knows it wasn't directed
at her... how about you both send me presents now?
could you go to Sally's house and hump her leg for me as a way
of apologizing for the mixup? thanks - SiNiSTaR
no... she hates it when i do that... makes her shoes dirty
what the hell is gluten and why am i so concerned about having
a gluten-free breakfast?? - SiNiSTaR
no idea... it must be one of those crazy things only you and your
know that it takes two stop,drop,rolls to fall of a queen sized
bed?My sister found out a rather painful way...-Skittles
well now that we all know, we can do it for ourselves to see if
I figured out how you could cause the demise of all those stupid
people. All you have to do is remove the warning labels from any
thing that has warning labels. In a matter of weaks most of the
moron population will be destroyed, and then their will only be
the insane. I like this idea because I don't like to kill people
and its alot more fun to watch them stumble around dieing frome
drinking random cleaners because the bottle was pretty. He He
no one reads them now... so it won't change anything besides the
you're so smart!?... (Omuletzu)
the word in your hood? McDiablo
the word is 'issue'
give the Queen of England a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of
neither... just send ME money
fleet, shall make darkness meet. So the sun shine for time will
always come but not for the warmth cus it is its being as so we
are burning and a hiding sun still hasnt done its meaning as so
will us, if we hide.<<<-----I need a judge for this poem
and guess who im asking?
i don't like the word sun
I was at the Pub with a large number of friends. A certain individual
who gets more than a little homosexual when he's drunk grabbed
my ass. I left the dance floor and stayed away from him thereafter.
Later, however, he claimed that I had a fat ass. A discussion
ensued which involved numerous women etc... And the conclusion
was that my ass was "alright but they'd seen better".
My ass used to be my best feature. Women loved me for my ass.
Do you think my ass needs to be toned up? Have I been eating too
many fatty foods? - Mzebonga
yes... but only a little bit... they just want to see that stunning
ass of yours again so be glad for that
Why is it
that mayonnaise packets are so much bigger then ketchup and mustard
to make you feel like you're spoiled
fucked. It helps to remeber that doesnt it ?
yes it does
I have totaly
had it with all theese geeky fucks with walkmen. WHat are theese
jack offs telling us ? there too good to participate in daily
life ? Theyre sealing themselfs off? Big fuckin' loss. An what
is it that theyre listening to that is so compelling ? i think
a person has to be fairly uncomfortable with his thoughts to have
the need to block them out while simply walking around. Id love
to know how many of theese obviously disturbed people become suicides..
wouldnt you ?
who cares if they do that... at least we don't have to talk to
them or have them eavesdrop on us
are not particularly good at anything. Wouldnt you agree ?
Is it possible
to explain hitler to a kid ?
yes but not a really young kid
have sweatbands on there crowns ?
only the smart ones
the plural of hell of a guy ? Hells of guys ?
dentists go when they leavce you alone ?
they go home and live out normal lives
If you go
to a bone bank why cant you make a calcium deposit ?
i can... why can't you? are you defective?
primative people know they where doing the dances corectly ?
yes of course they did... if not then BAD things would happen
If you get
cheated by the better buisness bureau, who do you complain to
comment a comment ?
yes but not really
with nostrill ? how about arange ?how about lemons ?
how about i slap you until it all rhymes
anyway a nice, fine unproductive citizen like myself be able to
contribute my brain to "the insane domain" in the form
of 1.a story 2.a poem 3.a ranting or 4.brain jelly (brain jelly
sells for a lot on the black market)? i feel this way because
my brain has taken so much from this site it just wants to give
back a little.--db"_" all hail the insane domain!
well at some point within the next 20 years my.theinsanedomain.com
will be put up and you can contribute all you want... we ARE working
stupid people is to easy. How about killing any one that hates
people for no good reason. Like those people who hate the people
that walk around with cd-players. They have no real reason to
hate these people. They all should be strangled with the head
phone cords. Any way, us people with cd-players are disturbed
but thats ok the rest of them are normal. And Normal is an excuse
for boring. So I would rather listen to music then their mindless
drivle. ( Just so its a question, what do you think?)-(Nameless)
i think that patton should send me free cds and that other people
should send me free stuff that i would like
If you saw
an old man, wearing a suit and carring a cane, fall while trying
to get onto a bus, would you warn the driver that the old man
was under the wheels before the doors close, or would you just
stand there and watch. -Viqueta
it all depends on who the old man is and if i like him... and
if i haven't had my coffee then it's everyone for themselves and
i say nothing
why is my
brother a frickin' playa? -Miss Roger's Sweater
its his socks... they make him feel like a big man
do you believe
in monogamy? or mamography? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i believe that things have gotten out of control
to take my allergy pill today.. i haven't forgotten for years..
why was today different? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not every day can be the same... change is natural
i need a
drink don't i? - Miss Roger's Sweater
Ok, If sheep
dont exsist what are those wooly,bleating freaks in my garden
then??- The Cheese Mister
shrubs... wolly shrubs
If I die
tomorow, what should I do?Oh and if I see Britney Spears should
I kill her?-The Cheese Mister
you'll die... and yes
Insane Snail mail thing going? Vista
ok but we keep forgetting to update the page... so send us money
the weirdest food you've ever eaten? Vista
the petals off a rose
Is it all
right for one to get overexcited about a Fred Penner tune? Vista
or impressionism? mind or body? yes or no? - Fido Dido
i've already said yes twice but no one listened
you put up with all the crap questions that people ask you? DZ
sometimes i can't so my cat answers them...
warming a reality or is it simply a conspiracy made up by suncream
companies to encourrage us to buy more suncream? Also if the world
is getting warmer why has England been left out of this phenomenon
and how can we join? And if acid rain is really acidic should
i stay indoors?
it's both plus the whole 'lava lamp' thing... and the rest is
Guy walks into a store, buys a carton of eggs. Guy walks out,
gets hit by a car, and promptly dies. Eggs go flying into the
air. Now, what's the percentage ratio of the eggs hitting the
windshield? Please show your work, I need this done for my homework.
i'd say it's 50/50 cuz that's just the way it is
this website a complete waste of space, time, money ect.? also
how long have you considered yourself a stupid dyke whore? does
your mom have a penis in her mouth?(i bet your going to ask her
just to make sure)
no... a few days now... and no
Why do some
enjoy so much making jokes about some other people's passions?
it's my passion
i'm skittles sis and my other sis did the stop drop roll thingy..and
just ta letcha know...since ur a sock monkey it'll probably take
you 5-10 stop drop rolls...ok..^_^~SG*
Why do cats
have such scratchy tongues? I mean, my last cat didn't have such
a scratchy tongue, but this one ... you can't tell if it's her
claws or her tongue! McDiablo
trim her claws and then you'll be able to tell the difference
kitty hate us for taking her to the vet for her first shot? McDiablo
yes but not for long
literature teachers such dorks? McDiablo
it's their job
OH the horror
! The FUNKY horror ! When will it all stop ?
tomorrow... or maybe the day after
If I see
my ex-boyfriend (whom I just broke up with) with another girl,
should I kick her ass or act like I don't care?
act like you don't care and then stop caring
you decide to make the website all pretty (admires the red scoll
jcp did it actually...
keeps passing out. Should we just blame this on the flu shot?
for now yes
Sweaters' mom isn't home yet ... and she needs the car to get
to school. Will she hyperventilate and die before her mom gets
yes but she'll recover to repeat the process again next week
My cat just
jumped in the air, hit the keyboard drawer thingy and flew off
my lap ... what the hell caused that??? McDiablo
cats do that... they just 'suddenly' need to spaz out
- you can rate our questions, but we cant' rate your answers!
What's your excuse? (Omuletzu)
well this is my own section on this site... so you are powerless
a cheap person? (Omuletzu)
no i'm a cheap sock monkey
If I were
to agree to give you money, what was the smallest sum you would
take and not feel offended? (Omuletzu)
Ok so if
Im gonna die I wanna know this, Are Atomic Kitten(the pop band)really
women or are they cats?I need 2 know.By they way my bleating wooly
shrubs are doing ok! - The Cheese Mister
a little bit of both
Do you find
some ladies on TV to be ... er, hyperactive? Vista
yes... in most cases they are acting but make other women think
that it's how they should behave too
cliches could be so fun? Vista
life? Who made God?
living... humans developed the idea of god
Do you speak
any languages besides english? FartMonkey
no sadly enough... i would like to though
send you all my money and posessions if I had any but I don't
own anything...what do I do if I have nothing that I can send
steal from others and send to me
I say screw
everything and get dentures. Do you agree?STRAF
yea but then its just one more thing to lose in the mornings
great about the circle of life? I say fuck the circles and let's
have more triangles. STRAF
i say remove the humans and it all works fine
I have a zit in my ear can sock monkeys do a ceremonial dance
to cure my ouchies ?
they can but it won't help you
i call my band ?
we have a list for
Is all of
the people of the sock monkey race as smart as you are ? Are sockmonkeys
suposed to know everything ?
most but not all... and we don't know EVERYTHING... just the stuff
send me money ? i like sexual favors too.....
no you're not a sock monkey
HAIRY ELEPHANTS in my sleep.... Is there somthing you can do about
it's better then 'cobras!'....
Is my question
realy more pathetic that your answers ? It ills me to push your
button...... I wince at even the thought of it....
press it ... go on... all the cool kids are doing it...
Am i the
only one here who shops at hot topic? Im an insane freak/goth/punk...
Whats your scene DC?
hot topic? and i don't have little titles to describe my scene...
i'm me and thats insane enough
If i had
a tub of spam would i use it to free man kind ?
yes but there is no way you'll find a tub
into a shop today and this guy shoved a long thin needle through
my eyebrow and my lip. This caused me great amounts of extreme
pain. Then another guy sits me down in this chair , puts a towel
in my mouth , Tells me to chew, And pokes an ink covered needle
through my arm many many many times. Soon after that i left the
shop and walked out side. People looked at me funny, Not like
before. Devil worshipers try to converese with me, old people
give me the finger, I make babys cry, and people try to act as
if they are not staring at me . Who are those people with the
pointy objects? Why are people behaving differently around me?
This is different what is happening ?
i had that happen to my eyebrow too... i would just say go with
it until you can't pay them anymore
youre nothing because you will never live up to me ! Do you think
that your better than me !? HAH you will never be anything but
a toaster YES the toAsteR.
Do you think
they teach you how to make slip knots in the boy scouts ?
yes i think they do... how else would they tie the boys down?
stupid. I throw rocks at them. Are you a transexual sockmonkey
no i'm not
ever seen a monkey try to fuck a football?
this was all just one big stupid dream? None of you realy exist
I am dreaming. I can do whatever I want my mind makes up the penaltys
for my behavior and seeing that I lack morals, I like this philosiphy.
It is far better thain existentialisim. That would really suck
that the smallest thing some one dose could affect my life. It
would make me want to kill every one. Oh Ya, What do you think?
no YOU are the dream... all of you are...
i wake upfrom my small concrEEt bedroom.As I lie down the big
tall guy unties me from my bed. I feel kind of cheerfull this
mornig as the the two big men hold my arms behind my back and
escort me to the dining room. I get into my tight white warm jacket
and they sit me down. I eat apple sauce from a straw while jimmy
trys to slash his wrist with his plastic spoon. Silly Jimmy The
large men pull out their shockie ouchie no no toy and make jimmy
fall and drool allll over the floor. I calmy suck my sauce ( Which
was REALY good for once) and i finish. The big men in white take
me to the cushy room. I liked the cushy room, there was lots of
padding so i fell asleep on the floor and dream of sheep running
nude. I wake up to see that the pink elephants have come back
to haunt me again so i scream real loud. I stand up and try to
reach for his magical cane but he always jerks his ahand back
away from me so i start to make Shriekie noises and a begin to
cry. I bang my head on the glass of the padded door until it breaks.
I have many severe head wounds now. I am typing this telepathicly
or how ever you spell that damn word out. Why cant i reach out
for his magical cane in time ? what shouldi do differently next
time ? And why doesn't jimmy learn that the spoon wont cut his
wrist and it will only = shockie shockie time. ?
next time i say you take your socks and knot them until they look
like swans... while everyone is amazed with them... you switch
the spoon with a knife and then pretend you were in the bathroom
the whole time
do you think
Gumby likes me? he keeps looking at me and smiling, i think he
wants to look at Pokey...
he wants to put a saddle on you and ride you around the room
a small little mouse came to my ear when I was on the computer.
He said to me that mice scientist are making a gun that shoots
highly concentrated catnip and it paralizes cats like you don't
believe. Can you warn the cats about this? - DZ
they are all aware of the situation
happening in your life and why havent you spoken to me ? Sally
unhappy customer hehehe.
i blame society... oh and work... work sucks... did i mention
and it tasted like a doughnut. What does that mean? McDiablo
it means your time has come... repent to the donuts for your deep
really that bad? McDiablo
no its my friend...
Will I ever
beat the five ghosts in that video game I'm playing? McDiablo
yes but you'll have to cheat for a bit
a god? ..and if so...Why does he/she hate me? -viqueta
fingernails are dead so it doesn't hurt when you trim them...but
if they are dead how come they keep growing and we keep having
to trim them? FartMonkey
dead stuff is oozing from your body... how do you feel about that?
airplanes, which mainly consist of bags of stale peanuts, overweight
passengers, unnecessary flight attendants, beverage carts, terrorists,
and a whole lotta metal, can stay up in the air?FartMonkey
the earth is fucked up place and that whole gravity thing can
be dealt with for awhile
your plans, hopes, dreams,and fears for the immediate future?
to live awhile longer... have people pay me to write for this
site... spend the money.. then die
to the store...you want anything? FartMonkey
still suffering from that cursed fecal obsession?FartMonkey
not really.. i can quit any time
truck is it so cold? And why did I say 'truck' instead of 'fuck'?
its the ice cream .. its gone to your head
Is it okay
that I've taken a liking to war-themed video games? McDiablo
think my cat is the cutest? Oh, wait...you don't know what she
looks like. Er, well do you think she's cute? McDiablo
all cats are wonderful
why do girl
guides like playing marco polo at frickin' 5 in the morning? -
Miss Roger's Sweater
they are messed in the head
do you want
me to take you to the bathroom too? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no but you can still hold my tail
ever gone camping with girl guides? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no... are you offering? oh wait a minute... how old are girl guides
happy that i took a shower once i came home from camping too?
- Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... having that shower makes everything ok again after camping
why is the
front door open? i'm still wearing multiple layers of clothes
form camping and here the stupid door is open.. my mom is wearing
shorts and my brother is wearing pjs.. what the heck? - Miss Roger's
they're trying to MESS WITH YOUR HEAD... i say walk around in
a halloween costume... see what they say about THAT
is no god, Why do cruel and unusually sadistic things keep happening
to me at a higher rate then one would consider coincidence?-viqueta
sometimes life just plain sucks... and other times pixies are
plotting against you
i am a gothic
guy, i wear all black clothing, black eyeliner, black lipstick,
and black nail polish. answer me this, how come i can look better,
and do my make-up better than a lot of chicks, but not be gay?
some people know how to put on makeup and some don't... ? just
because a guy can put on makeup 'better' then a chick doesn't
mean anything about who he fucks...
vodka taste like rubbing alcohol? and why does peppermint schnapps
taste like mouthwash? is this all a ploy by the government to
get everything to taste exacally the same? like what they did
with chicken? mmm tastes like chicken... weirdofreako
well since i can't have any of it i'll just amuse myself with
theres a certain species of monkey,its called the bonibus,or something
like that, who has orgys, masturbates, and has multiple partners.
are you one of those monkeys? monkie boy
woah... no but now i know what to look for
if you have
a kid will you name him spanky?? weirdofreako
no... and there will be NO having kids...
went to a little bakery that day and at the counter was a basket
labelled "Baby Muffins" so i wanted some muffins with
baby in them and i bought it but only AFTER i bought it did i
realise and i asked the girl behind the counter, "do these
have baby in them or are they called that because of their size?"
but she just stared at me with my change still in her hand so
i grabbed it and ran out quickly. Anyway, what do you think about
those muffins. I haven't eaten them yet because i want to be sure
there's baby in them or i wont eat em. - SiNiSTaR
i say you eat them and see if there are babies... if not then
i say take a half eaten one and make them eat it and verify that
the muffins are mislabeled... then demand free muffins
to you when you sell your soul for money? and it isn't even GOOD
money? - SiNiSTaR
then whoever bought it got what they paid for
like to eat ANYTHING except cat food. They eat cake, quiche, rice,
pasta, even GREEN PEAS for chrissakes. But they DON'T eat CAT
FOOD, and i'm getting really frustrated when i have to mix their
cat food with some mashed potatoes and gravy so they'll eat it.
what can i do?? to get them to eat food that's good for them??
this cat food was recommended to me by the vet for fuck's sake....
my cat only likes seafood catfood... i asked her why she didn't
like the beef and she said 'when have you ever seen a pack of
housecats take down a cow?'
of porn is your favourite actually, besides sock monkey porn?
free porn with no pop-up ads and did i mention free?
gurgled.. was it my stomach or the computer? - Miss Roger's Sweater
your stomach but the computer told it to do it
is it ok
to watch cartoons while having thanksgiving dinner? - Miss Roger's
i got a
bit of a sun burn while camping.. but is was so cold, how do you
explain that? - Miss Roger's Sweater
the suns rays can burn regardless of the temperature
- Miss Roger's Sweater
i had to leave this one on here
you going to be for Hallowe'en? A piece of gum stuck to the bottom
of a shoe, perhaps? McDiablo
i'm not sure... i was thinking 'brittany spears'...
Why is there
an apostraphe in the word "Hallowe'en"? McDiablo
to confuse and annoy... oh... no wait... i'm not sure
Is gum SUPPOSED
to stick to your teeth when you chew it?? McDiablo
yes... then you pry it off with your tongue... then bite it again
we are all your dream. If we were all your dream don't you think
it would be a hell of a lot easyer to get us to send you money?
No I think I am still dreaming. Though it is odd that my dreams
say that I am a dream. Perhaps it is some kind of psychological
problem. Mabey in me awake life I was mentaly scared into thinking
nothing is real on any level. Though if you are not real, why
am I asking you a question? Oh well I like talking to figments
of my imagination. I supose when I wake up I will be in some kind
of white paded room. Yes This is a well druged dream. - (Nameless)
my mind likes to taunt me with stupid people... and those who
don't want to send me money... i think i can blame the whole thing
on being yelled at as a kid and that party i didn't go to once
cuz it was 'too late' for 'normal people' to be out
know that the dot over an "i" is called a tittle? that
the prong of a fork is called a tyne? And that a whale's dick
is called a dork, and a pregnant goldfish is called a twit? I
like obscure words do you? O the joy of rambling about episcopalian
conundrums of much obfusticationalasticity . . . do you have a
clue what I am talking about because I don't have a fucking clue?
sometimes words are fun and other times they suck
know that "DC the sock monkey" is an anagram of "men
doth cock key"? - Fish
now i do
makes me angry...every morning she watches me on the comp...but
she's supposed to get ready for school...can ya help me?what should
i do,or say to her to make her ignore me and do what she has to
do...and she get's me in trouble cuz she doesn't do what i say
and my dad says "why didn't you tell her to get ready?"and
i say"i did"...and it goes on from there...help meee
i say you start typing out some nonsense about shades of the color
green until she gets fed up and leaves
is really what your supposed to see in real life and what you
see in reality is actually a hallucination.What do you think?
damnit... see i had thought that and then that shiny thing went
by and i forgot what i was thinking
think that when people are angryand yelling they are really being
themselves and when people are acting nice they are just being
i think people are nice when they feel nice and mean when they
feel angry... at least that is how they SHOULD be but everyone
knows that everyone else is just a bunch of fucking fakes so who
knows or cares what they are really thinking if they're just gonna
lie to you anyways
hell does jello liquid turn to jello when it gets cold,but when
you set it out and it gets hot, it does not go back to liquid,
the solid never goes back to a liquid, WHY?????????????????????
sure it does... the room temp isn't always high enough to melt
it but if you heat it up it does go to liquid... damnit this is
simple science... you go on a science site and start learning
believe it's the middle of November already? Vista
i had to check my calendar... don't do that again
has be sucking ass lately. What is the cause of this? Vista
tight underwear and reality
so great about the Mint Girl Guide cookies? Vista
nothing at all... not even the minty bits
the army get all the GOOD weapons? What happens if they decide
they don't necessarily appreciate our company anymore?
we're just sheep to them... and the army doesn't get ALL the good
why do they
call it a dingleberry, -dewpe
cuz of dr dingleberry
An old lady
screamed at me from her srean door. She was wearing a pink robe
so i burned her. Shes dead now. Was this the right thing to do
throwing some mud would have done the trick
monkeys reproduce ? How long can a sock monkey live for ?
no and a long time if taken care of properly