we all know kirk and spock were not gay lovers while janeway and 7 were, my question is, did the computer screw data, or did data screw the computer?
data screwed the computer, and janeway should have been with the dude w/the tattoo.  seven should have just jumped up and down with excitement for awhile to please the drooling fans.

Since you've been so kind as to help me nurture my insanity, I've decided that if I manage to take over the world before the cats, I'll make you the supreme commander of all the sock monkeys in the universe. So in your new role, what do you want for dinner on Thursdays? -gone postal
i would like some macaroni and cheese... but not kraft because they are an evil corporation with no ethics.  do i get to wear a fancy hat with this new role?

is bukkake the best you can achieve? you can do better, dc.
well, how about i get some noodles, mix them in a bowl with cheese, garlic and some peppers.  then i'll heat it all up, load it into buckets and fling it at the people below me who have fucking wind chimes, the people beside me for letting their brat run around in the halls, the people who live behind me for being white-trash fuckers and then perhaps having a nap.

Whats so wrong with Tori Amos? hahaha Sally as if I have to ask.
i don't care for chick singers... i just don't like their voices... so maybe tori is good, but not in my opinion.

Do you come from a certain sock monkey family?
yes, my own. i have a mother, a father and a little sock monkey brother.

If 42 is the answer to life then what is the question?
well we're waiting to find that out.  apparently the mice have developed some sort of experiment to find it out but they won't tell me where it is or what it involves.  all i know is that i'm to watch the skies and find a ford prefect to take me far far away... if you see him, send him here

Whats the best size bed and do you like to share and if so who with?
i have a queen sized bed because the king was just too expensive and just too fucking big to move... i'll share it with anyone who is clean, doesn't snore and is willing to play with my tail.

How many toothpicks does it take to make me happy?
normally 3... but sometimes your moody and need 5.

Whats the best cold rainy days or warm sunny days?
well, during the week cold rainy days are best so that while you're working, you don't feel trapped like a rat while missing a nice day.  on the weekends, warm sunny days are the best so you can wander around outside and fucked up without worrying about getting sick the following day.

So, I went to collect my laptop and I had to undertake a cycle that I made for "questionable" reasons four years previously. So the whole thing comes back to me... And I realised quite to my despair that in four years, I am making no progress. People are still shitting on me, girls still want to be "just friends" and I still have an underlying impression of complete and utter pointlessness. Do I need a shrink? - Mzebonga
tell those people off and remove them from your life.  be friends with the chicks if they aren't shitting on you.  life is pointless, so find something that you don't hate doing and do it... write a book, paint your ceilings, learn to weave baskets and visit this site hourly.  if you hate doing the same thing for four years, then stop doing it.  the only thing a shrink will do is suck away some more money, make you feel more depressed and change nothing

if I put your picture on my wall its not so bad?
no thats fine... just don't poke out the mouth and eyes and wear it as a mask.  using my picture as a dart board is fine, just don't tell me.

get it right next time?
no way... i refuse

Will you be my best friend?
only if you send me fifty dollars and a friendship bracelet.

Everything sucks to you people is there anything that doesnt suck?
sure there are things that don't suck... sleeping, comfortable clothing and stuff.  send me some money and i'll send you the complete list.

Can you put more toys in your toybox section? Can I play too? Sally
i put more toys in my toybox section for you... you can play with them but don't make holes in their asses.

Do sockmonkeys and ducks really have sex like in your porn pictures? What would they reproduce?
yes we do... and we don't reproduce... thats why we can have so much sex.

How much fun can we have together?
tons of it... but you're paying

i think Jay and Silent Bob are sexy. Am I okay?
yes you are ok... but i don't think silent bob is all that sexy.

What happened to Freddy Krugar. We miss him and want him back!
i don't know... maybe i'll go have a sleep and find out...

so how sexy IS patton? can you graphically describe for me what you would do to him given the opportunity?
i'm not sure how sexy he is, i guess it depends on what you're comparing him to.  if given the opportunity, i would kidnap him, force him to drink tons of coffee, then take him to a recording studio and get him to sing every song i've ever liked, every song he can think of and a few more songs and record it all for my own enjoyment... then i would probably grab the recordings and run before he escaped, kicked my ass and took the recordings away while the cops dragged me off to jail.

HA HA HA!!! you collect hotwheels... you are such a little boy! which is your favourite?
i never said i collected them... i just have ones i like... and my fav is the black one in the bottom left corner of the display thing... the one with the flames on the side

So when I write this story, where do I e-mail it to you? Will you put it on your website? - Mzebonga
go to the contact form and give me your email and i will respond so you can email me.   why go through this and not just put it out for the whole world?  well, fucking webcrawly things go and grab emails off of websites to spam... and then stupid people who don't get this site take it and sign me up for stupid shit that i don't want.  if it's good i'll put it in the site... pending jcp's approval of course

This whole people shitting on: ridding people I hate from my life has left me with about 6 friends but even my University are shitting on me so I'm getting the impression that it's unavoidable. - Mzebonga
well, shave your head, sell all your belongings, do nothing but chant and visit this site for the next 10 years.  if you find that things are still not quite working out for you, then i'll apologize for the bad advice and give you 5 dollars.

Aren't people a bunch of cunts?
most of them are... yes

that club CBGB OMFUG... what the fuck does that all stand for???
Curly Bitches Give Butts Obvious Mother Fucking Ugly Germs... thats the best i could give you in the 5 seconds of thought that i gave this subject thought... and this Carbon Based Genetic Bees  Oppressed Moths For Useful Guarantees

may i suck the shit and farts from your sockmonkey ass, while giving you the benefit of a reacharound? i'll kiss you afterword if you'd like. maybe even a little cuddling.
yes you may but clip your nails first... i don't want to lose parts... and if i don't feel like cuddling i'll just shove you on the floor

YOU're site is not funny. you all coulf do alot beter tahn i thinmk your all doing.
i know we can... we try so hard but this is all we could come up with... we're constantly striving for more more more more more more more more.  be sure to come by again to share your thoughts and feelings

dc, do ya smoke the wacky weed?
wacky?  maybe the zany stuff sometimes... but that bit last week was a little more wacky then zany....

dc, do you drink the devil water?
why would i drink devil piss?  if they told you it was water then you my friend have been lied to

She started shaking to that fine fine music... you know her life was saved by rock n' roll... what band sang that?
some band that i haven't heard of or recognize.  we'll call them FRED to avoid confusion in the future

Is Vampiros Cd ever to come out?  Mazed, HJ.com
i'm going to go with yes even though i have no idea what vampiros is.  perhaps i'll look into it later but i have a few more questions to answer

are you really smelly
depends on where you're smelling and when

how much traffic does this site make daily?
well each of the members have their own vehicles... so i would think that each day at least 3 of us are out creating traffic in the streets... the site really just sits at home to be viewed by you people.  also, if you hadn't noticed, the stats shit is in that funky ball on the main page... we don't hide what gets tracked so go take a look at the stats yourself

when i was born i was wet and an air conditioning unit was strapped to ny penis, so eat the grass every day. FOOK my question is, wwhye casn ti spelll?>
you can't spell because you haven't said to yourself "i weally wanna lern 2 spl"  when you take that first step and head for a class on spelling... then your penis will feel better

what's the best 2 rap, punk, polka, experimental, country, classic rock, classical, grunge, miscellaneous rock, emo, rap-metal, pop, blues, death/black/grindcore/thrasher metal, stand up comedy, psychedelic, shred, surf, oldies, jazz, folk, bluegrass, gospel, lo-fi, muzak, easy listening, world, jungle,trance, ambient, house, funk, industrial, reggae, dance, salsa, acoustic, and fusion albums/artists? if you're not familiar with the genre, or one genre is the same as another, skip it. i am genuinely curious about your musical tastes.
damn... as if i don't have a job already... since i listen to most of my cds/mp3s on the computer, i don't usually know the album names exactly... so i've listed artists and tried to supply album names where i could...  minus of course faith no more and mr bungle items as we all know patton is my favorite vocalist... in no particular order....
babylon zoo - boy with the xray eyes, soundtracks- mortal kombat, matrix, lexx, run lola run, sparks - plagerism, fear factory - demanufacture, dark UFO - from mp3.com, rap – don’t like or listen to this… the closest I’ve gotten is FNM & boo yaa tribe doing a song together, punk – I’m not big into this but I do like some of the ramones and sex pistols stuff, polka can suck my ass, experimental – fantomas the directors cut, NO country, classic rock – uh… I’m not sure who falls into this that I like… i guess i'll go with black Sabbath (any album with ozzy), pink flloyds the wall, led zeppilin (I have the box set that I listen to), classical – betovens fur elise and anything with low string instruments like that apocalyptica group does, grunge – alice in chains (pick an album), stone temple pilots core, PWEI (dos didos mi amigos and the looks or the lifestyle), Bowie – outside & earthling, Danzig – the unnamed one with the white skull on the front, black aria, Ozzy – diary of a madman, bark at the moon, lords of acid – voodoo u, roxette – HAND(i guess that goes under cheesy pop), smashing pumpkins – ava adore album, Siamese dream, garbage – v 2.0, sisters of mercy – some girls wander by mistake, white zombie, rage against the machine, ministry psalm 69 album, manson – mechanical animals / antichrist superstar, monster magnet (one with look to your orb song on it), enigma, jamiroquai, lenny kravitiz 5, utah saints, crystal method, scooter, doors, denis leary is my fav comedian.... i think that covers most of it... 

I have a three inch swollen phallus and my girlfreind is slightly over weight. I am only 4 foot 8 inches tall and 130 pounds.She weighs 403.What would be the best sexual position for us so i dont or wont get hurt while pleasing her?
well... besides hiring someone else to do her, i would say that if she is on her back and you prop her legs up with pillows or something (don't forget her legs have to be apart), then peel back the layers and you should be free of harm... but if you are harmed then i assume no legal responsibility for your injuries... i have no experience in this sort of thing

So why do you think Silent Bob isn't as sexy as Jay?
i'm not a big fan of beards

I like your toys maybe I'll send you a picture.Why does your mum buy them , does she think you like them?Do you like them? Do you play with them alot? Sally
she gets a kick out of buying me stuff that makes me roll my eyes at her.  some of them are ok, the rest i have no feelings towards.  i play with the ones i like... i had that alien jar on my desk at work and some pregnant lady totally flipped out and screamed for me to take it away

Who have have you had the best sex of your life with?
the best... thats a toughie... but since i obviously won't put real names down here... i'll say that it was the last person i had sex with (and no not those nasty sock monkeys that those pictures show in my pictures section... they meant nothing to me... honestly)

I got an email ( I get heaps of useless email by the way) saying "this will make you have turbo sex". Turbo sex??? What the fuck is turbo sex and why would you want to have it? Sally
turbo sex? damn i've never heard of it either... that must be that fancy sex that people have in the movies.

the legth of golden gate bridge
is??????? i would imagine pretty long.... (beavis:heh heh you said LONG)

I just stumbled onto your site last week, and my life seems to have found a new avenue for truth and beauty. My question is: Why, DC, did you create this web site? Is there some mtoive, like, establishing a following to do whatever you please (world domination)? I have never met a sock monkey that just wanted to share wisdom without anything in return. borden
welcome to the site then... and in all honesty, i'm just a meager part of theinsanedomain, as JCP is the one who originally started this insanity.  she claims it's because she was bored and teaching herself HTML... and that it evolved to this... along with my help and eventually a few others.  the motive... well i decided to come on board to assist the cats in taking over the planet so we sock monkeys can finally be free of drooling children who pull on our tails or poke at our eyes.

why is it that my dog plays mind games on me. what have i dont to deserve a dog that messes with my head?? and the strangest thing is.. that my dog is totally like blind and def.. so does my puppy dog have mystical powers??
your pup is indeed a special one... but i blame you the parent for the head games.  maybe your dog is just pretending to be blind and deaf so it doesn't have to play fetch or hear you call it jello-butt.  dogs have feelings too.  you should make it a nice meal and talk to it.  it may take months before it even pretends to notice you again.

Does JCP have ICQ? Sally
yes she does...  so does SAnimal

How would you know what the best sex is if you've only had one partner? Because you have no one to compare them too.
well, if you had only had one partner, then no you wouldn't have anyone to compare them to... just the expectations that you have in your head from movies, friends or other influences.  to make a good call, you'd have to go out and sleep with a few others.

They have made a National Blonde Day I can't remember the date though I think its the 10th of October. Do you think we should celebrate this or not? I actually don't mind I'm blonde, lets all celebrate our blondness!! Sally
i think that if it's a real holiday that the whole 'having a day' thing is out of control.  what next... redhead day? brunette day? going grey day? bald day?  anything for a fucking way to make you people buy more shit you don't need. i say protest it for it's stupidity... unless you get the day off work.

Are you okay?
pretty much i guess... no real complaints for once besides my dishes need cleaning

Why do people have to be assholes and just piss you off to annoy you? People give me the shits.
i say you collect those shits and throw it at the people who come here to piss off and annoy me.  then take pictures and we can both laugh until we piss our pants

How come JCP doesn't answer any questions?
because this is ask DC not ask JCP... if you want to ask her questions then go here and send them to her

Why don't you like girls with make up?
i don' like girls with NOTICEABLE makeup.  in other words, i don't want to look at a chick and see 2 inches of face stuff, eyes plastered with color etc... in fact i don't even like lipstick on a chick... its just weird looking.. chapstick is fine with me... i like seeing real faces, not pretend ones that are a waste of time to put on

Do my sock monkeys like my dryer or is it uncomfortable for them?
if it is just them and no shoes or anything sharp, then they probably enjoy it.  do they bite you after they come out? if they do, then that means they don't like it

I just can't get you outta my head, Boy your love is all I think about, I just can't get you outta my head ,its all I think about?
sure, now send me some cash

Why do I keep getting those bloody sex emails I don't want them. Is there something wrong with me? Sally
no, it's that great little thing called SPAM... go into your help files and learn how to filter it out by keywords

Do you wanna get high on Angel Dust with me?
sure, but promise me we'll listen to the whole album, not just the songs that 'everyone' likes.  i'll make popcorn

What do you think of vibrators and other sex toys and do you use any?
well i don't really think about vibrators and sex toys.  if people like them and use them then good for them.  i personally haven't felt the urge to obtain or use any

What color eyes and hair do you have?
my hair is dark brown, almost black... sure it looks a little grey in that picture of me but it was the lighting i swear... and you can see in the picture that my eyes are black.

Whats with those damn inbreds?
which are you referring to? there are so many... and in the strangest places...

Where are all of your peircings?
my eyebrow ring grew out but it was on my left eyebrow.  i had had stitches there many years ago and the chick doing it thought that the scar tissue would hold it in well... but four months later it was gone

Who do you talk to on icq from here?
i talk to jcp, schizoid, have briefly chatted with about 5 or 8 people that have visited here and about 3 of you on a regular basis... anyone with icq can contact me though.

Get back in your box?
no! never!

What happened to the chatroom and why do you keep taking things away?
well the chatroom sucked cuz no one was ever in there when another person was... and we are always adding and removing things... it's just part of our charm

Is JCP still selling candles and what is the site?
nah, she just does the website updating on contract for the company that makes them... www.briarpatchcandle.com  even i have some of their candles... they're wicked

Have you had your teeth yanked yet? Sally
no... i've been referred to an oral surgeon.  lucky me.

Are your Docs worn out yet?
no way... never... i just need one of the soles fixed and they'll be perfect

Whats the best and worst pickup lines you've had?
said to me?  i don't know cuz i don't remember that shit... and i don't use pick up lines

Whats your day job?
i work with computers... how vague is that? haha... i do consulting work for a web design company which is owned in part by JCP

Do you hate it when people double dip?
well, if it's people who aren't sick and that i know and there is no spittle on the chip when they dip... well then i can overlook it... but if it looks like a huge infection is occurring, then i'll step in

Where are you ticklish?
nowhere that i'm aware of... would you like to be one of those people who insist that 'everyone is ticklish somewhere"?  i'll strip down and you can try everywhere... i won't even charge you money this time 

Do you masterbate often?
what is your idea of often? to some, often is daily, to others, weekly.  to some strange people, yearly is often.

Do you like sexy lingerie?
yea i look great in those frilly things... it shows off my tail real nice and sometimes i even tie little bows on it... when i feel like being a nasty sock monkey, then i have a cute little latex outfit i put on... boy does my tail feel good in that   but if you're talking about on others... well, some people look good in it... and others shouldn't be seen with the lights on no matter what they're wearing.

WILL I GET A GOOD QUESTION AWARD???
hell no!

Can you rock my world?
yes i can but that doesn't mean i will

I didn't ask for SAnimals ICQ , Why on earth would you think that I want to talk to him for? Sally
i'm not sure why ANYONE would speak to him... you know how much he sucks ass

I can strip you down and tickle you all over yay, trust me I'll find the spot.......there it is tickle tickle tickle hehehe, bet ya can't find mine?
i can find anything given the proper equipment

Do you like the light on or off when your having sex?
depends on what i'm doing and who with... some positions just aren't worth the effort if you can't see it

Why do some people think its okay to have one nightstands and other people think its utterly disgusting? I'm one of those who thinks it utterly disgusting.
well see, that's the beauty of everyone being different.  some can choose to have one night stands, and others don't.  for some people, it's ok, and at times it isn't

If I got you a red shirt for your birthday would you be happy with that?
depends how dark the red is ... the odds are i'd hate it because i don't wear red

So if you have an apartment when does your cat go out the backyard?
no, because when i have an apartment, i have no backyard

Your so trippy why?
cuz when i wiggle my tail around, 

where do the socks go when they dissappear from inside the washing machine? does someone eat them? is this anything to do with belly-button fluff? - Fido Dido
i REFUSE to comment on belly-button fluff at this point.  however the socks leave to a better life... somewhere where it's ok to be a single sock

You know how you hate kids well you should take a leaf out of my dads book- this little kid used to ride up and down our street screaming at the top of his lungs anyways my dad got sick of so he went out there and yelled to the kid fuckin shut up and go home and the kid never ever did it again he was even scared to go past our house- damn white trash kids.Sally Because i know you hate your neighbours kids.
you have leafs in your dads book?  i put them in my own books to make them flat so i can color on them.  i have yelled many a time and they do nothing... just stare at me and then their dumb lips start to quiver and suddenly there is liquid flying from their faces with loud wailing noises

So how come you've seen JCP naked???
well sad to say i have not seen her naked

Can I dress you in leather , tie you to a bed, do a couple of bitchslaps, drop some hot wax on ya , kiss ya tail , Lick your stomach, whip your bum a bit and sprinkle chocolate sauce on you and lick it off?
i don't like leather but the rest is ok

Okay here is a question i have been pondering, Can negative be more positive then it is negative, and positive more negative then it is positive?
sometimes no

okay i found this on the insane thoughts page and i wanted you to know it's a cheap rip off , of a Jack Handey quote,!!! you shouldn't have a fake quote on an insane thoughts page, cuz i don't think that qualifies as insanity, Am I wrong????? "At the end of every book there should be a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid. Maybe even a sheet of toffee or caramel or something nice tasting like that.... books would be more enjoyable for kids... and dentists would get richer..."
maybe the domain member that added it was influenced by that and forgot about it... i'll have to remove it then because i know exactly what you are talking about... remember i don't write everything on the site

sorry, but i'm calling bull shit on the whole. this site is all original and copyrighted. am i wrong?? It's obviously a lie. original. i've saw too much things in here that are NOT original. am i wrong??
blah blah blah... we have credited anyone who has contributed to this site outside of the members in some way or another so blah blah blah...

i cannot forgive those who wronged me. sometimes, it's alright... like the revenge i got on that stupid redneck. i sure pissed him off. other times, it's horrible. i can't forgive the ones i love for things they've done to me, no matter how hard i want to. i find myself dwelling on what they did, contemplating some kind of revenge, even passive-aggressive revenge. i'm ashamed of being rude to my loved ones, and being so utterly unforgiving. i'm not an asshole, i'm really not, but sometimes i can be, and i hate it.for instance, my girlfriend did something bad to me 2 months ago. not cheating, but close. i find myself being rude to her sometimes for no real reason but that i'm thinking about what she did. i hate myself for it.how can i forgive? its so hard, everythings been talked over rationally, i don't know what's wrong with me.
you don't HAVE to forgive but i'm sure you CAN

how do i have anal sex?
well you need your ass and someone to put in it.. if you do a search online you can find many items to aid you

Do those cartoons in the members page really look like you guys?
some of them do...

whats the average size of a boys dick??
a boy? i don't know... i don't go out and find out that sort of info on boys

If I smoked a 50 sack of high grade every day how long do you think it would take before I destroy enough braincells to be crowned "the man with the IQ of exactly 2 point's less than that of a rutabagu?"(however the hell you spell it)
i'd like to know how you'd test the iq of the rutabaga ... but either then that... i'd say it wouldn't take too long... less then a year... depends on how long it took to test the rutabaga

What was Jesus's last name?
smith

tell me DC ||||| SOCKMONKEY ACCEPTED, what's a good unknown band you like? BEGIN REFUELING NOW
um... unknown? well... pop will eat itself isn't well known... but more obscure then that?  schizoid is good... a bit tainted cuz he's my friend... misery loves company is also good... utah saints... uh... i can't think of anymore... ?

So whats 'way down town' all about?
some people who make a bet to see who can stay indoors for awhile and it shows them in day 24 at work... anyone who is a freak and has to work in an office will understand

So what is it with Jay why is he so sexy to me
its probably the hair

i am wearing clothes right now... tell me why?laser munkiiii
because you forgot to get undressed before coming to this site

ok then an even better question how the hell do you think you would test the iq of a rutabaga? ~BeaverHunter69(and above)
i'm not sure... they don't like me

If there are 6,000,000,000 people on this planet, why are there 5,999,999,999 morons?
because the morons are the only ones breeding

I still feel pretty shitty. And my head feels cold. Do you think this will really work if I keep it up for the next 10 years? - Mzebonga
i think that it will not only work, but bring peace to all on the earth

Did i just ask a stupid question so i could put my name by it? -Gidget
yes you did... tisk tisk

i'm trying to get drunk but i can't, because i got really, REALLY sick drunk about a month ago. for some reason, even drinking beer makes me feel nauseous now. is this normal? will it go away?
if you have built up an intolerance then no that feeling won't go away... try sifting the cigarette butts out and you'll find it taste better too

i am stupid you too?
you're stupid... but i'm not

i like jazz really i do medeski m & w is cool?
i'm glad you like jazz... it brings light into my life to know this about you and gives me hope for the future

do you like the pixies?
only when they spank me with their little pixie hands

should i capitalilize? why?
only in emergencies to prevent confusion

will you check out The White Stripes? they rock.
well i've seen some red stripes... but i didn't care for them even if they did taste minty

do you ever get tired of nwering all these questions? EHY CAN'T I STOP HICCUPING (PAINFULLY)/
no, i just don't always have time to do it every day... unless of course you want to pay me

what's up with procol harum's "whiter shade of pale?" what so the lyris mean? they're so beautiful, but i can't figure them out- was the(ette) who wrote them stoned or something?
i'm not sure what the lyrics mean but if you're in the forest and you hear that music... do NOT eat the mushrooms no matter WHAT they say

whats your problem? hahaha
i have way more then just one problem... but due to court orders i can't discuss many of them with you

do you like aphex twin, sebadoh, or the pixies?
i told you about the pixies already... but i don't know about the rest yet... i'll look into it

yout a fagh. i wnat u 2 no taht U R Gay!
first day with a new computer... the world is so proud to produce items such as yourself... and thanks for telling me i'm gay... your opinion means the world to me

Whats the best day to go throwing snowballs at the migets?
well, a day that it has snowed is a great day... but other then that... every other thursday is alright.  beware... they know how to throw back and have incredible aim

Whats wrong with Kraft and windchimes?
kraft is just a nasty coporation... and windchimes are for those inconsiderate bastards that don't care about fucking clinking noises keeping others awake at night

Can we have a blurred moment together?
sure, but not saturday or sunday cuz i'm busy then

this guy keeps looking at me, and he's like psycho and stuff... and he actually talked to me. Could that mean he likes me or stalking me??
well, when you're at a korn concert, you have to expect the singer to look into the crowd every once in awhile and no he's not singing just to you.  if you're not talking about that singer though, well if you look outside at 3 in the morning and see the guy out there staring in, then he's stalking you

So who drank all those drinks in the webshot picture "one of those nights"?And is it going to be one of those nights again? Those nights are fun!
a variety of people drank it all... i'm not sure when it's going to be one of those nights again... i'll let you know

When are you going to draw for us?
i've kinda stopped drawing lately to focus on writing instead

Ana's house looks cool will she invite me over?
she doesn't like having people over and touching her stuff... even i don't get invited in

Ana has soulful eyes , shes gorgous , how long have you had her?
she has lived with me for about 3 years now... she owns me

So who took all the webshots?
mostly jcp... i took a few too

And when are you going to do more webshots?
soon perhaps... we've been kinda working on other stuff

show mokeys mateing
i have... its in my insane world of dc pictures

have u heard of rex the runt? its a really cool insane program here in Britain. its funny. la la. is it the carrot again? what makes a bus stop? is bush as dumb as he seems? he couldnt be. har har. i pick "only things i know" for £1 million. - Fido Dido ps Paul ate my foot.
yes it's the carrot, and the power of thought stops the bus.  bush is... well he's whatever he is... and paul ate my foot too but it was ok cuz i wasn't using it then

Which is, ultimately, better: the powder cheese in the macoroni boxes, like the Publix kind, or the cheese that's already creamy, like in the kraft boxes? Or, at least, which do you prefer? borden
well i haven't had the kraft due to me hating them, but i would prefer to use the powder cuz who knows whats goin on in that liquid pouch thing or how long its been there fermenting in that pouch

What year will the world end? How will it end? What will come next? borden
in year 4 cycle 6... it will end when its obliterated by the sun... after it is... the universe will keep on doing what it's doing and none of this will even be remembered... except for that time you peed your pants in front of the whole school... that will ALWAYS be remembered

What ever happened to crystal clear pepsi? Should it make a comeback?
i had forgotten about that... i think that it fucked with peoples heads too much to be enjoyed.  i mean they trick your head into expecting a gingeraley kinda taste and then it's pepsi... but it does show you how they fuck with our heads... can't you see how this all ties in?

Is there anything wrong with dressing up as Stephen Hawkings for Halloween. Do you have any great suggestions for a Halloween costume?
in my opinion no... he's amazingly brilliant... but where will you get a chair like his for the evening?  and that cool voice thing?   dressing up like a dead hooker is fun or maybe nessie

if humans are 99% chimpanze can they mate sucessfully and what will the kid look like?
humans rarely mate 'successfully'... i mean take a good look around you... anything would be an improvement from this freak show currently going on

Why am i obsessed with sock monkeys? Not just them as they are but i am obsessed to know the history of them? Like was there ever a leader, or a society before humans? ANything like that would make for an interesting read! Please DC enlighten me!
sock monkeys are the key to everything... the history is shrouded in mystery and lies.  i can't tell you anything to confirm nor deny the existence of a sock monkey leader or society... and you are well beyond being able to be enlightened ... baa baa black sheep... have you any wool?

so three guys walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks. thank you thank you, i'll be here all week. whats this job pay again? -gidget
it pays some time with my tail and shiny pennies

HELP! my chipmunk is in labor and i think its yours oh gosh i see it.....its an egg,.. im so confused did you impregnate mr. nutty?????
if i had, they would have found my body at the bottom of my shower... so no it wasn't me... and that egg is not something you'll be wanting to eat for breakfast... unless you've got some toast to go along with it

We want more webshots!!!pleasssse???
we're working on it... i think... i'm probably lying though just to shut you up... i'll decide later

Can we do it so it doesn't stick?
well it has to stick a little bit...

If I said no would you be offended?
not really... i know my ass doesn't look good in these pants... 

So how come hair isn't as fun as the hair commercials?
i think we're just doing it wrong... there is no way that advertising would lie or exaggerate the truth to sell a product... that would be wrong

Who wants a slinky anyway?
boys and girls and puppies and pink fluffy stuff and magnets and them strange creatures that touch my bottom in the night and that jonathan guy

Can I have a gold star? For being the best!
we have no gold stars here... just people who eat glue

whos better boys or girls?
well it depends on which specific boys or girls were talking about... my mother is better then that screaming boy in the hallway but a friends girlfriend is worse then any guy i know...

Do you have a friend named Maurice?
i did but he moved away to live with barbara... so i had to settle for hangin with ed

Should we leave the light on?
its always better when the room is dark... bright rooms are just evil 

Where do you get those alien jars?
my mother got it for me... i don't know where

What if I don't want to go out and sleep with a few others? Are you offering? hehe
well if you don't want to, then don't.  i'm offering if i don't have to pay for it

Only a blonde day cause blondes are the best have the most fun apparently?
the blonds that they're talking about are those idiot ones who have bleached their hair to blond and are too stupid to understand fear so that every day is sunshine... i would like a holiday where i can have people send me money in the mail without a stupid fucking card and i don't have to see anyone if i don't want... all stores are still open for me but i don't have to work... i don't have to do anything religious.. no one phones me... i don't have to say thanks for any of it and it happens once a month... and i never have to repay any of it or send them money... 

You don't use pickup lines, so what do you say to a girl that you like? What type of person is right for you?
it depends on what chick i'm talking to... i won't talk to anyone if i don't have a reason or something to say... any chick that i would want to use a pickup line would be too smart for that shit... and if she even found it amusing i would have to take her off my list of 'most wanted'... any person who thinks for themselves, is honest and free to be themselves and let me be... well those are the people that are right for me

So do you have one night stands then?
i've got some in the closet and one under the bed

Will you respect me in the morning?
well i don't have any now... but hey... maybe by then i will

Your obviously lying?
sometimes yes

You try to have as much sex as you can so why am I not getting any?
because you reek of fertility

Is Rick Derris gay?
how should i know?  maybe he is... maybe he's not... either way i think you owe him and i 10 dollars

What kind of boxers are you wearing today?
i knew i had forgotten something this morning... 

JCP rocks!Don't you think?
why yes i do... and not just because if i say no she'll have me deleted and my mailbox filled with pictures of benji the dog fucking my various family members... she knows i think she rocks... but not enough to have her husband come and beat me to death with benji the dog while she takes pictures to send to my relatives

What are you doing for your birthday?
i don't plan 2 weeks ahead, much less 8 or 9 months in advance

i feel the reason as it's leaving me... no not again... flesh make me bad?
flesh makes everyone bad... but thats no excuse for ripping off korn lyrics

what do you feel is the biggest influence on you to make you insane?
my dreaming... without it i'd be a dull sane sock monkey with plenty of sleep and a firm grip on reality

how is it my horrorscope is such a perfect match to me? do you have a room full of psychic monkeys doing your dirty work for you? -psychotic_freak (aries)
well i can't tell you our methods, but we all know about your fetish for ball point pens... and that time you thought you were alone under the sheets in the dark? with your winnie the poo hand puppet? yea? well we know about that too

i'm in love with a guy but he's mad at me,what should i do to get him to forgive me?
well if it's me who's mad... then you can give me cash, some cds, tickets to various events such as fantomas and the leafs, oh and ana wants some new mice to play with... but if it isn't me then it doesn't matter and you should just dump that guy and work on making me happier

How big is your dick
depends on the situation and who i'm with... for instance.. if some senile granny tried to touch it without paying me, then it would shrivel up and flee the scene

what would you do if i told you taht i'd make your site famous, and the next day it started getting 400,000 hits a day?
well i guess i would thank you and then ask you about obtaining large amounts of cash as monthly paycheck.. and maybe some more sock monkeys

no, reaally, U R A FAG!!!!!! your site sucks!1 whats up[ with the everything suck thing? mean "girls suckk, guys suck you are NOT funny! go back to kinergarden, dc! and i mean ti when i say that i am not ne w at this computer. i even now html, and i should make a page better than this junkie page!!!!!!!!!!!!!
everything DOES suck and kindergarten won't have me there because i eat all the glue... i look forward to seeing your sure to be wonderful page but don't forget to use your spell check

what would you say are the 5 prettiest songs you can think of?
prettiest?  well Daddy by Korn is really cute and fluffy kinda pretty, Smaller & Smaller by Faith No More is soothingly pretty, anything by Rage Against The Machine is always a pretty happy moment, uh... thats all i care to come up with because the word pretty is bothering me

my friend calls himself a straight edger, but he still drinks a little. he isn't really a straight edger, is he?
i have no idea what the 'rules' of being a straight edger is... i have too many other things i'd rather use up my brain cells with... like lyrics to songs i hate

So does that mean I have to be happy with the sex I'm getting?
no... but if it's not making you happy at all then damnit stop doing it and find someone else... unless you want to send me videos so maybe i can give you some pointers on enjoying it more

You seem to know when something has been ripped off, how do know so much?
it's a sock monkey thing that you wouldn't understand

So are tampons made by evil corporations as well?
i would think so... that whole 'tampon' thing just looks like nasty business

Whats the point of sex when you can do it better yourself?
because people are just lazy damnit and would rather have others do the job

codine effect on human body
i'm sure it does have an effect... it sure does on me... i trip out for hours on that shit... even a tylenol 3 sends me on a trip to 'funville'... not that i'm complaining or anything

So why do people when you cut their hair think that your their friend and when your driving along beep and wave at you like stupid cockheads and follow you? I just want to cut their hair then they can fuck off and don't bother me again.Sally - Plus I get all the weirdos.
well all the weirdos have hair i suppose... so i would switch to cutting dead people's hair unless they start following you around too

You can run wild if you want?
of course... i was last night and now my body hurts

What happened when you had to renew your licence?
they took my picture, said "you'll get your new one in the mail", then they threw papers at me until i ran away in tears

Whats useless information got to do with it?
EVERYTHING... oh no... wait... nothing... i was thinking of something else

Isn't it the best thing to go down on a girl?
it isn't THE best thing 

Should I lie?
sure, but just this once

So your harmless then?
mostly harmless... unless i have one of my 'moods' again... then both my body and my surrounds are in immediate danger of harm

what is the answer? will the carrot? why did the cow? did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road cross the chicken? is it still cool to wear woad, or did it die out with the anglo-saxons? - Fido Dido ps La-La
42, yes, boredom, the chicken doesn't exist (that's the real answer and once you realize it, it begins to make sense)  woad? no idea what that is... 

how? - Fido Dido
well once there was a tree who loved to give out presents to the children... one day a little girl came to the tree and asked for a pony... so the tree went out and got her a pony but the girl had been killed in her sleep by her parents so now the pony had no home... so the tree was sad for the pony and couldn't let it just wander the streets without a home... so the tree cooked up the horse and fed it to all the greedy children... and that is exactly how

Why do people cuss? I thought it about it long and hard and realized that cusswords dont' mean anything. I tried to stop, but I realized I was just replacing cusswords with other stupid words. How can I fix this?
cuss? sure they mean something, you have to MAKE them mean something, you can't just throw them into your sentences to 'be cool' or 'impress the big kids'.  you need to use them like you do every other word... with feeling and with meaning... if that doesn't help then just learn more words to describe what you're trying to get across and if there are no words to do it... then make up your own and use them

If a house consists of a cow uterus is the spleene of a rabid goat name Georgio a proper garnish for the gingerbread and Steve sandwich?
i think that the answer to this has to deal with screaming into a phone about your feelings and how all those people just won't stop laughing late at night and you know you're not the only one that can hear those voices but you wonder sometimes if perhaps you ARE the only one who hears them and you're afraid to ask for fear of being fed dead horse and those songs could be influencing you to question your sanity but then again you never really had much and now the whole thing is just some moment of your life that you refer to as 'that incident"...

 is that really how? omg! i never knew. woad is blue body paint that the anglo-saxons wore into battle. ALL they wore. i knew bout 42. i see how the chicken not existing would come into the equation. does y=x? does it matter? what is the mind? - Fido Dido ps Rex the Runt rules
y=x if x=y... the mind is that thing that most people have but no idea how to use

when? - Fido Dido
last tuesday... didn't you get the memo?

the only highlight of my life is the reading of the surveys/what if's and seeing the answers. in hopes that i may have gotten a good answer award. however, this only happens monthly. is there a way in which i can skip 4 weeks of my life at a time without having to actually live these days out? - psychotic_freak
if i knew that... well i'd sell it for small bottles of colored water... we'll put more of that stuff online at some point

why do people waste their time with pre-built computers???? - psychotic_freak
this ties into that 'having brains but not using them" answer

so when you said "yes" did you mean it? -gidget
twice

do you believe in ESP or any of those related mental capabilities? OOH! like telekinesis, it would kick to have the ability to move things with my mind. i would weigh 800 pounds if i never had to get up again. i would just levetate the channel changer over to myself, and i would close the blinds with my mind... it would kick. you'd never have to get up to let the cat out. wish i could do that. -gidget
i would like to have those 'powers' but i have not personally seen anything that could convince me that people are currently capable of any of them... telekinesis sex... hmmmmmm

do you believe in god?
depends on what your definition of god is... but the odds are pretty slim that i would answer with a yes anyways

Is it ok to have sex on extacy
i don't see why not

Close your eyes, Give me your hand, Sock Monkey, Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Or is the this burning And eternal flame?  Don't you hate that song the way Atomic Kitten did it? Weren't the Bangles better? - Mzebonga
i don't either version really has anything that makes me want to hear them...

So what if I'm happy with the person but not with the sex?
then tell the person how to make the sex better

So when can we send our own pictures of clouds and weird things then?
maybe someday... but not today

Does it take all sorts?
and some bits of candy

trousers? tap? metre? centre? - Fido Dido
no, on the sink, yes, air canada

are these really the rules, or merely guidelines? "No gibberish. No repeating the same question over and over. I will NOT answer any more questions about photosynthesis or the effect of light/color on plants. I require great amounts of money for sexual favors. If I think you're using someone else's name to ridicule them, I will alter or remove the name. No making this your personal messaging board. URLs to your stupid and sad sites will be removed from your message, along with email addresses. telling a short interesting story is ok... just make sure you ask a question along with it." - Fido Dido
its a warning so that if your question gets deleted, it has been because of something mentioned there..

why is my penis so small and wrinkly?
cold water will do that to you... and you shouldn't be looking at naked pictures of bea arthur

take off your pants! DO IT! good, now i want you to... oh dear, no this will never do. put them back on. do you often get that reaction?
well, not exactly... i never have any pants on... i'm usually told to 'put it away'

So who made you listen to Nelly Furtado?
jcp's husband

If the rules were really rules and the concept of "No Gibberish" were really upheld, surely there would be no content on this website. - Mzebonga (I'm not sure if this is a question or just something I'm saying so I thought I'd post it anyway)
the rules are only for you writing in... i can make up all the gibberish i want... ring around the rosies eating all my posies... hubla kealei qekfo... numbing it through... 

Is it possible to make a giraffes ass go "fner" simply by inserting a spoon and depressing it slightly? - Mzebonga
yes it is but you aren't supposed to be touching animals... remember what happened last time?

i didnt get the memo, in fact i sent you a memo about being unable to recieve memos. did you not get it? - Fido Dido
i didn't get it... try sending it again and this time type in all uppercase

where? - Fido Dido
over here, over there, over by my parents, next to the school, by the mall, near that green car

¿que pasa contigo? - Fido Dido btw i dont know what it means, its a Gorillaz song
well i'd like to talk about another song... but since the songs change all the time then i'm not sure which one to choose... how about that one with the tune and it's kinda catchy and then that guy keeps yelling... thats a great one

The hungry cat did waht with his gondola?
i would think that the cat picked it up, beat someone with it and ate them... now it's just a cat with a bloody gondola

Is it a sin to poke a badger with a spoon?
a sin? no... is it very nice? no

I bet thats what you say to all the girls?
that and show them magic tricks with coins

So how come you and jcp didn't get it on before the husband came along?
we did all the time... she'd throw 'sock monkey treats' and when i went to get them i'd bend over and she'd kick me in the ass... isn't that what getting it on is? i've gotten in on with quite a few people...

What sex is good sex to you?
free, simple, no pain invovled, no disease risk, no pregnancy risk, both parties leave satisfied kind of sex

Can I watch?
yes

Do you like STAIND?
i'm not sure if you mistyped stand or stained... either way i enjoy standing sometimes and i stain many things

So whats wrong with nelly furtado anyway?
i don't like chick singers... high pitched noises and voices bother me... i can only stand a few chick singers

Blonde Day yay. You know you love blondes? Sally
i love EVERYONE... oh no... that's not right... everyone SUCKS regardless of hair color... that feels much better

Can your moods be that bad?
bad for who or what... it depends

You don't have to say thanks if you don't want to but I'd prefer it and can you pay for that,thanks?
i'll give you a penny

So whats wrong with your friends girlfriend?
too many things to list and i don't want to waste more of my life thinking about it

So you think I'm a freak then?
sure... i get called freak all the time so its not that bad... even though i do cry on the inside and scream 'why? why? why?' but thats just my own fucked up reality

So if your so great why don't you breed?
breeding makes my greatness disappear... if it were only smart people breeding then perhaps i'd join in but it's not so i don't want any kids

So which is your favourite toy?
the puzzle puppy

if i cross the road will the chicken eat me?
probably... you can never trust birds with their beady little eyes and the way they squawk at you and then you wake up in the morning and there they are staring at you and screaming at you through your window and you try to hide your naked body from them but they stare and STARE and start laughing i know they're fucking laughing and then they squawk and tell me they're going to peck out my eyes and i know they will if only i step outside and they laugh and laugh and laugh they'll love to laugh when my eyes are dripping off their beaks

WHATDIDYOUDOTOMYSPACEBAR?ITWORKEDFINEAMINUTEAGO,OOOOOOOO
NOWTHECAPSKEYISPROKENALSO,WHATSHOULDIDO??
bash the keyboard against your head and if that doesn't help then bash the keyboard against the wall

Dear madam,sir. i need to send me hot pusseys pic. for stars, and beuteful ladies if you have to my e-mail
well thank you for letting me know that you'll be sending this to yourself... if i have any questions, i'll be sure to contact you

if a gurl has sex with 2 guys even tho she has a boyfriend, does it still count as cheating since they would cancle each other out??
no, but it wouldn't count as cheating twice... just once... so it's two for the guilt of one

how do u know if your ready to give ur b/f a blow job??
well if the idea of it doesn't make you want to ... then don't... until you decide that you would rather do it then not

will you put nude pictures of jcp on your download page?
i wouldn't be able to as my carcass would be gutted and minced up before i could even complete taking the pictures... unless you gave me money to pay her in advance

If I was in a desert, and the only thing around me was sand, and I decided to build a fort, out of sand, did I create a fort, or is the sand just rearranged fort-wise? With that logic, since everything can be broken down into sub-atomic particles, is there really anything at all? speed racer
no there is really nothing at all.  you see, nothing matters at all because time will eventually just wipe it back to a big fat zero... no matter what ever happens anywhere ever...  so do you have a bathroom in this fort?

Why don't people use the word "galoshes" more often? How do you feel about the word? S.R.
i feel kind of annoyed by it because the insane neighbor i had at my parents would use that word... and when you spoke to this man, it wasn't like a 'hey there neighbor'... it turned into a 4 hour long story about bowling, snow removal, children, nova scotia and some guy that was (at that time) the worlds biggest giant...

Are all sock monkeys as sexy as you DC?? -Zimian
not all... but a decent number are

what is your VERY favourite food? would you forrege for it yourself?
well i like pasta... and can't live without cheese... i know i'm a vegetarian but i just can't give up the cheese... and i only take as much as i need or else it turns into a big ball of green fuzz in my fridge

isn't this whole sep 11 thing getting mawkish and embarrassing now?
i'm still trying to figure out how to get off this planet and away from all you fucked up (and not in a fun way) humans...

What is the correlation between art and science on an *intrinsic* level? The mysterious remains a working factor in works of art LIAR- but does it do so in science? A work of art is like Alice's looking glass. It opens a door to a different world YOUR UGLY FACE ASSHOLE, reality, universe, where the PUSSY FART YOUR CUNT CRAWLS laws of everyday experience are no longer efficacious. As in quantum mechanics, where the laws of classical physics no longer hold at the infinitesimal scale of subatomic events. The Mysterious IS UP YOUR ASS YOU FUCK seems to be working in the nonlocality of quantum theory, or in ten-dimensional superstrings SHUT THE HELL UP. Reading about these things I get the same feeling of thrill and wonder as when reading poetry.YOU FIND YOUR MOTHER DEAD YOU GOAT RAPING ASSCLOWN Dc, do you feel the same way about quantum mechanics?
i have found that staring blankly into a flame for hours can also produce the same sort of thrill and wonder... assclown... i like that one... i think i'll use that on someone i know

Poking a badger with a spoon is Eddie Izzard's joke. Who on this site is a follower of the Lord Izzard? - Mzebonga
he's looking for raised hands here people...

No the band STAIND , that is how you spell it?
i would assume it's spelt stained but the recent spelling situation of people everywhere has become increasing disturbing so who knows

Am I a contradiction? Sally
sometimes no

Why do I never win the argument or ever get my way?
well quite frankly you're just not very bright... try thinking before you speak and all will be well

Can I taste you?
sure... but only licking.. no biting... i fell for that one last time

Its been a while since drinks?
i think the last time i drank was maybe 2 years ago

Why can't I make up my mind?
just do it DAMNIT... you're probably one of those people who fret at the checkout counters until i'm forced to snap your head off and kick it into the parking lot

Hey don't get to excited?
too late... the whole place is a mess now

So who's is the best party you've ever been to?
poptarts place... i've enjoyed a few of his parties... there hasn't been one for awhile but when everyone gets together it is a fuckin great time... as long as the band isn't playing that night as it tires them out

Whats the most embarrassing thing you've done at a party?
becoming insanely sick and passing out... being sick, having cough medicine and partying isn't the worlds brightest idea

So what do you do at a party since you can't drink?
i make sure that everyone else is drinking responsibly and hand out pamphlets on the dangers of drinking... becuase i mean what else could i POSSIBLY do?

Whats the most embarrassing thing you've done ever?
getting caught by a babysitter watching porn

What other type of job would you do apart from computers?
i'd like to be paid to write whatever the hell i want... i'd have some tv shows, a few comic book series, a couple of movies, song lyrics and books

Is the eyes or the lips ,of Angelina Jolie? Sally
the eyes... if you think about the lips too much they begin to turn into a lizard that is trying to eat all your corn chips

Can I fling peas at you...............come on please?
only peaches... and only by the football field

Chapstick ......I like blistex in berry flavour yumm?
i use the ICE type..

So then your saying the forum won't be up for a while then?
i thought that i was being optimistic about it... they keep saying "next week.. .no worries..."

I have been a really good person. The only wierd things about me are that I always talk about purple people(inside joke) and I'm really quiet. A friend of mine said that I should try being more myself, but when I try to act normal and happy like I can be, she(like the bitch she is) completely ignores me and acts like I'm a little dork that won't leave her alone. She only wants me to be her friend when she needs me to be and when I act like she's the greatest thing in the world. She can be such a slutty little bitch sometimes, too. I really like this guy named Trevor and when she found out she was all over him, specially in front of me. Now, they made a bet to prove that he's not a man-whore because he hugs all the girls he sees. She's the only girl he can hug until after Friday. I was so pissed off at her. Urgghhh... I know that this is very adolescent and childish, but I can't stand her anymore!!! How can I tell her without going into crazy bitch mode and beating her up?
i would say dumb your bitch friend and get a real one... she is NOT your friend and if you put up with it then you deserve her stupidity in your life... don't even bother telling her... she won't understand

I once had a very long philosophical debate with a squirrel on the meaning of the existence of yellow sticky pads that don't stick to anything. I was quite surprised to find out just how philosophical a squirrel can be. Do you know of any other rodents who can carry decent philosophical discussion? -gone postal
the hamster can carry on quite a good conversation as long as you feed it some cheese and red wine first... and none of that cheap shit either

god i;m driunk. howea's ny spelling? i'm trying to type as best i can, but i feally really siscoordinateed. wow i;'m doing worse than i 5thought i was. seriously, i'm not faking this, i'm stoned too. call me an idiomnt if your want me mtoo. kji';m testking you you fjck wow thuis shit ks kicing in fast i;m trykng tlo liste tl suicalda.l tendecncide, but i'm fucked save me from my drnunkwnnsess please.? i'm fucked how ak 9i gonna watch KIDS IN THE HAOLLL BRAIN CANDY noiw? god help me? ok, i'm still drunk, but i'm putting all my focus on typing right. how am i doing on it, besides the lack of capitalization? i remind myself of henry fool...
i'm sorry but no one can help you right now as all our operators are busy... 

will you suck my cock?
how much are you willing to pay me?

Am I so transparent?
only certain parts of you

Is there going to be another party soon?
yes there was one tonight and that was fun and now i'm here answering questions and it's pretty late and it's damn good that i have a spell checker

ICE ? is that in the Blistex brand ?
sure whatever i don't know

Whodunnit? - Mzebonga
that dog with the shifty eyes!

If cheese tasted of stawberries do you think less people would put it on pizza? Would cheese then bring you out in a rash? Would it still be yellow or would one of the things that alter the flavour also alter the colour making all cheese a much deeper red than before? If all cheeses tasted of strawberry, would there be only one variety of cheese? What would mice eat? What would we do when having a fondu party? Is it possible that cheese is the single entity which holds up society as we know it? What would happen to the world economy as a result of cheese tasting of strawberries? - Mzebonga
i would still ask for extra cheese and i could finally enjoy the taste of strawberry on my pizza without little bits that get caught in my teeth and then when i chew them they sound like teeth breaking which makes me panic and think that my teeth are fucked and then i have to calm down and remember about those stupid seeds.... no rash unless you rolled in moldy cheese... this strawberry cheese thing seems to complex right now...  i like strawberries and i like cheese... not together though

Don't you hate it when people follow the instructions in songs like James' "Sit Down"? What would happen if people did that to Dexy's Midnight Runners' song "Come on Eileen"? I'm sure that girls with the name Eileen will go home both very angry and covered in a white sticky mess. How can we stop this? - Mzebonga
stop this? i'd like to find some Eileens

Haha you fell for it again?
twice and it hurt both times

Won't you ruin the party if you do that?
depends on the party ... might add some excitement

Wheres the best place to write for you and like where do you get insparation for writing?
in my living room alone on my laptop and stuff

Don't you think thats a bit harsh?
i've had smoother

No its definetly STAIND , I checked, plus they are a band , do you like them?
yea i finally heard them today and i can't say that they sucked... i only heard one song though

Its hard to be optimistic in any situation?
not ANY situation... in some situations you're just stupid to be optimistic

So what is the right spot to lick on you?
that depends on what you want this licking to produce... if you want to make me sick... then you can lick my feet

Did I fuck it up again?
twice and it hurt both times

Are you a very angry person?
depends on the day and what has happened

I can't remember where I put it?
over there... no there by the red thing

For the cool people we should have photos?
sure... sounds like a great idea... imagine websites that had lots of pictures of cool people

What do you think of Maddonna?
i don't know her ... erotica kicked ass though

Whats your opinion of shower curtains?
mine are cheap and i'm pretty pissed off with them... i swear at them and tell them i hate them every time i see them

Whats your opinion of miniture sockmonkeys?
size doesn't mean anything... all sock monkeys are good sock monkeys

Can you help me make a trap for the polar bears, because they have eaten all of my blue socks except for 1 pair. If anyone could help me with getting rid of sock eating polar bears, I figured it would be a sock monkey.
put out some snow and a box and then get the bear in the box with the snow but only a bit of it and they don't eat socks they pet socks cuz they keep their paws warm except in the water where it just freezes to their paws so they should take off their socks before they swim

I LIKE EDDY LIZARD!
why is his lizard so special?

if your friend gave your girlfriend a full body massage with oils right on the floor in front of you, would you be jealous? i mean, he straddled her to do it. he didn't need to do that. and also, not ten minutes before he was asking me if she had a tight pussy, and telling me she was hot and he'd love to kiss her. she had told him to do only a back massage, but when she fell asleep it became a full body massage, which was easy forr him, because of the shorts and midriff shirt she had on. i didn't mind him massaging her back, but when his hands started wandering (slightly) i had him by the throat with one hand, and flipped out my butterfly knife with the other, ranting at him and putting the knife up to his face. did i go to far? people seem to think so.
i'd like to know why you didnt say something before they got greased up if you didn't trust them... and those people sound dumb so you should just forget about them and get some fish or something because they won't fuck you over or play head games or try to touch you with greasy hands

am i?
no

have you ever thought about the existence of existence? you know, if god created every thing, what created god? and how can anything just BE? everything needs a source, right? even if you're an atheist, what created existence, and how? how does anything exist? if the universe was created in the big bang, what created the big bang? what gave it it's material, and what created that material, and how?
i have thought about the existence of existence... and one has to believe in a god before they believe any of that stuff about a god creating it... and lots of stuff can just BE and then be nothing... why does there have to be a point? i mean really... if there was one we would either never know it, never comprehend it or just not 'believe' it... so just enjoy your life, don't make it suck for others

MEMO TO DC DASH I CANNOT RECIEVE MEMOS STOP IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO START RECEIVING THEM AGAIN QUESTION MARK THIS IS ASERIOUS PROBLEM AND WE NEED IT TO STOP STOP DASH FROM FIDO DIDO
i responded in smoke signals...

what do you see in your dreams? -Emperess
there is no way for me to even get into this... my dreams are like books... they go on for a long time, i remember every detail and they are all somehow connected... unless it's a sex dream... or some strange dream where i am dressed strangely and using a razor blade to bring pleasure to someone

Do animals need to brush thire teeth
need to? yes... but if you get cats those tartar control treats it does a great job

do i feel as pretty as you look?
only when i bleed

what do you think of interracial dating and/or marriage?
what is there to think about? as long as it's two consenting humans... then why should i care

If you live in a hick town, how come all of the white trash kiddies want to be thug or a ganster?
they have nothing else in their lives and need a way to feel important

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