does every girl i fuck come back for more?
well you're obviously doing something right then...
please send all details to me so i can figure it out for you.
if you have pictures, please include them as well.
If i gave
you a dollar would u fuck my spider monkey collection??? ( i have
200) and make sure u dont get them pregnant i dont want anymore
yes, and anything (especially sock monkeys) who don't
practice safe sex is stupid and should kill themselves... but
only after giving me all their money.
my five ton pile of goat meat disappear?????????????????
????????????????????????????(just a few more)???
i think my flying monkey ate it... sorry
a dillema...what should I do?
i recommend selling the boat, renting out the cottage
for a few months and cutting down on the prostitutes.
when the trees began burning that fateful day, the
elves from the forest gathered and knew that something had to
be done. that is exactly why... and the only way.
dropping large boulders out of windows onto people's
heads isn't exactly the best career move
happened 2 peter aundre
he ate some fuzzy stuff from my fridge, tripped out
and took off ranting about fluff bunnies.
i get closer to the lord jesus the christ
I have discovered that a sock monkey is dealing in the world of
porn. Is this you? Is it now apparent that I also deal in porn?
i can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in porns... but
be sure to get my new video called "Spank The Monkey 5 -
Soapy Sudsy Tails". i'm sure you have enough member
points to get it free...
this morning and my underware spots of wet stuff on it. How do
I know if it's semen?
lick it... then jerk off (or find someone else and
jerk them off) and compare the taste. be sure to interview
family members for their opinion on the taste. bind taste
tests also work well.
retire... what will you do?
buy land up north (not enough north that it's always
winter though), and breed flying monkeys.
send you messages through this thing... cuz you don't have your
email posted anywhere...
well, it has been done... but if people want to email
me, then use the 'want
to interview us' form and usually i will email you back.
we stopped posting our email addresses here because people would
sign us up for stupid shit and then we'd have to keep changing
our email addresses.
emus fly high in the sky when the goats comes out to play?
only if the yellow penguins have flown over africa
been killed by kai yet?
not yet... but i'm hoping... and waiting...
have your own show so you can show the whole world all the insane
shit that is out there... go on the road and find us insane shit
that goes on.. do it now!
well that's a great idea... we do have a video camera
here at the domain... too bad no one will pay us for the time
and gas etc to do the show. if you have this money, then
please let us know and we'll start taping.
all you guys meet??? and do those cartoons really look similar
to the real people?
jcp and dc met in high school... sanimal was found
by jcp at work... and cyan was met online (schizoid too)
to make a 2 door canoe into a 4 door canoe, how many more fish
will you catch?
8 and a few rubber boots and condoms
no... i am not any religion...
i am a
gay but now i have a problem my penis pumps out sperms when i
am sleeping and is in a sexy mood what is my problem
yea... what IS your problem? i mean, your dick is having
a great old time and all you wanna do is spoil the fun.
your dick is just trying to enjoy it's life and you bitch about
dirty sheets... you should sleep more and let your dick do what
is LIMPBIZKIT and we all thought this site waz on the down so
its kool but its all gayish by the way how are you gonna talk
to a monkey hey when was the las time you showerd on the pit wes
wants to know?
the site is on the down? i thought it was doing well...
and i have no idea what the hell showerd on the pit is... so you
can just tell wes that when people speak coherently... then i
will respond. as for claiming to be limpbizkit... if that
makes you happy then that's fine... but the only cook thing about
limpbizkit is that they opened up for faith no more a long time
am I shaking? I wont stop shaking.. HAHAHAHA!! LOOK!! there is
a big spider on the wall.. Oh shit.. its coming towards me....
it might be all that caffeine you've been drinking... and the
caffeine pills... and the chocolate covered coffee beans... and
the expressos... and that spider is actually your eyelashes...
try opening your eyes just a bit more and it will all be ok.
a fight between pamela anderson lee and dolly parton, who would
well, first of all, they'd have to use sticks, as their
boobs would prevent them from being able to reach each others
faces. i would have to say that dolly parton would win though,
as she has some intelligence, whereas pamela is about as smart
as her fake breasts. all dolly would have to do is say "look!
an abusive ugly man!", pamela would look and dolly would
take a baseball bat to pamelas boobs. they would explode,
and we could all watch pamela die and be glad that she can no
longer breed, do interviews, or fuck ugly rock stars. way
to go dolly!
you been all my life?
right here, hiding from you. i have to go now.
believe that sisko is the emisary?
sometimes... other times i think it's just an elaborate
ploy to make him seem more important then he is.
then comment: what's your favorite book? mine is either "hitchiker's
guide to the galaxy" or Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse
five"... ok so the first is just funny, the second is really
hitchhikers guide is indeed a funny book... it is among my favorites.
i don't really have one favorite book, although it would probably
be something from Isaac Asmiov's foundation series. The
dark tower series by stephen king is also good... i have at least
a hundred books and have read thousands... so it's hard to decide!
am bouncing my rabid mango is it the world moving up and down?
yes... the earth bounces regularly.
I saw a
weird website the other day and I was wondering if you knew the
answer to their main question "What's Swahili for 'I Love
six clicks, and four aficki's... click click click
click click click aficki aficki aficki aficki... and a nipple
twist is always nice after that too.
baby oil, candle lit dinner, rampant sex all night. Any questions?
what's for dinner?
fuck can you suck your own PENIS????
if i knew that... don't you think i'd be selling the
instructions for a nice profit and ditching this sorry ass site?
uh... i mean... lovely site... it's great jcp... just great...
no! not my website privileges, i'll be good! it's
the best site ever! whew....
die for me?
only on a tuesday
senator really wank at that press conference?
uh... sure! i have no idea what senator you're
talking about, but since they're all stupid-ass puppets, i'll
assume that anything stupid or moronic can and will be done by
them all at some point or another.
for sexual favours? How many figures are we talking? 3? 5? I'll
give you 20 bucks.
hmmm... 20 is tempting... but i've been wanting to
buy something bigger... if you give me 20000, then i'll send you
a list of the sexual favors i would do to earn it... you can always
send me your expectations list too... i might give it a glance
or two for an extra thousand or so
of lunatic r,u,?
the type that is classified as 'mostly harmless'
you could slap my ass with something, and you had to choose only
one thing... would you choose a)a bat b)a large wooden paddle
or c)your tail?
i would choose the wooden paddle. the bat would do too much
damage too quickly, robbing me of ass slapping fun. the
tail wouldn't inflict any damage at all. the paddle allows
me to repeatedly slap you with a considerable amount of force
causing me extreme pleasure
systems operating within normal parameters or is crew morale deteteriating?
well, everyone is bored, but the lights all just went
out so i'd have to say that things just got a bit more exciting
who took all
those pictures in th webshots thing? those blured reality things
jcp & myself mostly... i think
sanimal took a few too... and thanks!
the webshots thing link for you freaks who wanna see it
to eat poop?
i'm sure you do
a sock monkey, or a cat. I think sock monkeys are superior
in intelligence, but cats a superior in phsyical prowess. This
makes the s.monkey, and the cat, even, and a perfect team, as
well. therefore i have answered my own question, and wasted your
time. On the other hand you can add to what i've said... or something.-Laser-Monkey,
pondering the ages.
well a dead cat is not superior to a sock monkey... but the rest
you did answer yourself... so give yourself a good question award
insane domain have an irc chat room??? if not, you should.-Laser-Monkey
no we don't... never even thought of it!!! i admit
i know very little about irc... perhaps i can learn more or something???
i'll look into it... or get JCP to !
really a stupid name? I mean after all its not as dumb as SAnimal
i mean Sanimal hahaha cmon now thats stupid
i would hope that nobody would give a child Maboo as a first name...
it's better as a last one as long as you don't get old, blind
and crazy... oh wait... thats magoo. anyways yes sanimal
is a stupid name... that's why i prefer to use 'shithead' instead
u think that u r able to answer ev'ry question? coz u r insane?
waiting for your pathetic answer......sincerelly yours
i am able to answer every question because as long as i put SOMETHING,
then i have answered. a few of my cuzins are insane, but
sadly, not a great amount. many of them are just stupid
'i'll do whatever society tells me to do without any thought'
people. i hope this answer was pathetic enough for you.
you go snowplough? Go parallel. No go snowplough.
i go snow plough because other people will get the
hell out of my way. if they don't, i'll just plough them
over a cliff.
peeing in my plants to make them grow... why aren't they?
try drinking more water and less beer
sound of running water make you want to pee? -slapmonkey
sometimes it does... sometimes it just makes me laugh
cuz it sounds like someone pissing
u wer gonna sell stuff?
yes, we're actually working on putting together the
store now... it'll be more like a garage sale then a real store
first tried acid, my friend was under the stairs wondering where
his chicken was... he sat in the dark yelling about this damn
chicken for hours... have you seen his chicken... or have you
i don't eat meat and that includes chicken and turkey... but i
think i saw it at my parents. my mother was chasing it around
trying to put a hat on it. if you'd like... i'll catch it
for you and return it.
a web page and i wanna link to you is that OK?
NO... well i guess... you can get graphics
to link to this site here
woke up yestrday i had a marshmellow up my ass. I went to shit
it out and now it has expanded and become gooey. what shold i
you have no choice but to find a campfire, stick your ass in it
and then get someone to eat it off once it's been cooked enough
for their liking. if you ask me to do it, i like my marshmallows
in the mall I noticed that a gigantic bird was following me around
and it wasnt no big bird either... evry time I'd look around to
see it, it woudl duck behind some shelves and hide. what should
i do to confront it
trick it into a room with nothing in it... then slam & lock
the door. engage the bird in a discussion to determine
why you are being followed and when the behavior will stop.
if the bird doesn't answer, or tries to peck your eyes out, you
may have to 'break' it by climbing on it's back until it is tamed.
at that point, you've got yourself the coolest bike on the block
and everyone will become envious of you.
that you give questions good q. awards based on your answer, not
the question. ISNT THAT RIGHT!??-Laser-Monkey
well... i have to admit that yes, sometimes i give
an award to a question because it provoked a good answer from
secretly wish for a happy ending?
on days where the whole neighborhood sucks ass with
noise and stupidity, yes... i dream of a house in the middle of
acres of land... free of people and barking dogs... maybe some
running water and a shot gun to shoot all visitors.
tell everyone in the world anything... what would it be?
the feeling... it is the real thing... do you know the real thing?
it is the essence of the truth...
i go there is shitty music... will i ever escape?
no... you see the Society To Drive Insane People Sane
(STDIPS) have been able to convince stores to play the shittest
music possible. Sometimes it's real quiet to lull you into
a false sense of security, but it's always there. right
now they are trying to turn your brain to mush by playing shitty
destiny's child or some other whining/wailing women. Resist
the music... plug your ears... or sing some other song as loudly
as you can until you drown out the shitty music. If that
isn't good enough, then hunt down these shitty artists and put
them out of their misery. Please obtain a full list from
me before doing this to ensure that all the proper people are
if i give
you five dollars will you be the entertainment for a kids party
well... ok. i'm keeping the balloon animals for
myself though. my other ones ran away, even the old blind
you speed up the process of getting pot out of your system?
why would you want to do that?? but if you did,
eat a lot, and drink a lot of water or something. you could
also just not have pot and instead send it to a certain favorite
sock monkey of yours!
sorry, dc isn't home right now... if you'd like to
leave a message, that's nice.
sometimes. they come and go. sometimes they play with
the cat. sometimes they leave food. sometimes they just mess the
place up and steal my underwear.
says that artificial intelligence doesn't exist yet. Are they
hiding something from us? I swear, my computer has a mind of its
own. Is it trying to kill me? What should I do? -DS
yes... in fact many of the people you see on tv are
in fact robots. a good example of this is the olsen twins.
they are both robots, and this is why they are so sickenly smiling
all the time, don't have minds of their own and do whatever they're
told. as for your computer, the problem you probably have
with it is that it doesn't do what you want, hides things on you,
takes too long to respond and never seems to do EXACTLY what you've
wanted... this is not due to artificial intelligence, but because
you probably have microsoft software on it. microsoft software
doesn't try to kill you, just tries to brainwash you into buying
more 'upgrades' and is a part of the agenda for the Society To
Drive Inane People Sane.
elves came yesterday, they repossessed my car, they repossed my
furniture, all I have is a wooden removal chest. So I'm lonely
and I'm hanging out on a street corner looking for somewhere to
go. The rain's pouring down and every car that passes washes a
huge wave of water in my face. I'm soaked, I'm pissed off and
I'm about to cry. Okay, I am crying, now. I gave you all my time
and money and you left me, you left me for that slut. I hope you
die you fucking bastard, I hope you gay little sock monkey boots
shrivel and you are forced to have you genitals removed after
a very painful bout of genital warts. DIE ALREADY!! You little
shitter. Can I sleep in your garage?
yes you can... but leave my shriveled up boots and
sore genitals out of this... unless of course you want to make
them feel better... i swear the other sock monkeys meant nothing
to me... it was just a one-time drunken orgy
i have massive amounts of every mind altering substance in the
known universe. Taking this presumption into account, what do
you want (be specific) and how much of that would you like?
i would like tons of non-chemically treated pot, and
50 sacks of non-chemically treated mushrooms. the rest you
can destroy... unless it's organic and won't kill me if i have
a bit of it.... or if you sell it to all the stupid people and
give me half the profits.
Laser Monkey and all those people get recognition on your "members"
page and I've been coming here for months, I've been asking questions
anonymously and I get no recognition. If I were arogant enough
to put my name by each question I asked, I think you would find
in excess of 50 and I have had a couple of good question awards
and a million and one Stinky Monkey Butts. I don't think this
is fair. I want my contribution awarded. I say people, stand up
against this fascist regime and fight back against this lack of
respect for those of us who contribute much more. Are you with
me people? (For the sake of being noticed) - Mzebonga
it pays to be arrogant is the moral of the story. since
you seem to be so upset, i have added your name there. if
i don't see any further questions from you though... you will
be removed from existence and your life given over to one of the
other sperms that just weren't quick enough.
this real? or is this just a figament of my inmagnation? prehaps
its a figament og ur imagination! is it the carrot? argh! i'm
being sucked into the monitor! heeeeeeelp! <pop> <tinny
voice> groovy. <pop> woohoo! i win! wotd i get?
YOU are a figment of MY imagination... but then again...
i am just a sock monkey with a computer... so perhaps we are all
figments of some sick individuals imagination.... and... hey!
hey!! get out of my computer!!! i don't want you reading that
email... HEY! stop eating my icons! leave my screensaver
no? love or hate? truth or lies?
no, love, lies... and why won't anyone pay me to do
whatever i want? i'll even tape it and you can make some
shitty-ass show out of it like everyone else. if you find temptation
island.... BLOW IT UP
I find out who killed a man who is contacting me
ask the woman who saw the whole thing or the dog that
bit the man that told that man to contact you.
Is it ok
if i ask more than one question? have i asked that in the past?
does satan have a sock monkey? does a sock monkey have satan?are
you my mom? where is my mom? are ALL those women my mom? is this
annoying? how about now? why do i think you live in texas? should
i stop? how about now? what is the fastest simplist way to kill
all the pop stars? will all sock monkeys be ruled by a giant stocking
monkey one day? who many questions have i asked?
Yes, no.. satan IS a sock monkey... sock monkeys don't believe
in satan, being a mom is not on my list of things to do, your
mom has fled the country, all women are not your mom and want
you to leave them alone. You should live in texas to visit
empriss nikon and spy on her for her parents... kill all
pop stars by poisoning coke and pepsi... or force them to listen
to their own music for 5 years straight. a giant sock monkey
is a good idea to rule them all... you have asked a few questions...
but notice... not even one got an award today....
hows your cat.........Can I have your icq number and I'll give
you mine..........Love Sally
my cat is sleeping by the sliding door on her stool...
she is quite content. my icq number is 11163093 and yes,
you people can contact me through it but don't send me urls
young monkey.......I love you...........do love me???
only when you stroke my tail real nice or buy me things.
realised you put me in your cool viewers catagory thanx guys your
the best , hows your dad?
my dad is alive... and we know we're the best... by
the way... you owe us more bribe money for putting your name up
walked down the moonlight path to my house. i could see the light
from my window through a break in the trees. i had a suspicion
that something was wrong when i saw the headlights of an oncoming
car through the outline of the house. i thought "shit, my
parents are home". i try to sneak in through the back but
my mother is already waiting by the door. They didnt yell at me,
they didnt even seem mad. In fact, they told me that those headlights
were the new car they'd bought me for my birthday. they said that
despite the fact that i was failing out of school and already
gotten 3 STD's in the last 4 months that they hadent forgotten
about my birthday present. excitedly i ran out to the driveway
and there it was. i'd never felt such terror in my life. i felt
weak and almost passed out. there it was. the light shimmering
off the fake wood paneling. my parents had bought me an '89 STATION
WAGON!!!!!! what's the most excruciating pain you've ever been
well i've had to go to a number of
weddings... that's torture. Besides that i'd have to say
that living in this white trash kid infested shithole is the most
torture i've had to go through... coupled with the fact that i
now work part-time at home on the computer and can't escape the
never ending white-trash daycare screaming. can i come live
in your wagon?
looked at your pictures DC, a bit of a sockmonkey orgy going on
there?Can I join?
yes you may... bring some whipped cream
get prostitutes around???
all the hookers in my city are stupid disease bags...
i avoid them
you and JCP met at high school. Were you guys lovers, boyfriend
and girlfriend,friends,enemies or enemies that became lovers after
you both discovered that being enemies was useless because you
couldnt fight the attraction anymore???Love Sally
yes we did... not lovers or anything but we have seen each other
naked... in fact you all have cuz i never wear anything but my
boots... and i only wear them in the winter. jcp is married
so my attraction for her and her husband has had to be reduced
to stalking them and dreaming of being their love-child-monkey
it take to tick sanimal off?Love Sally
anything that requires logic since he can't grasp that
sort of thing...
need a forum
good question... but yes.. we're actually working on
putting together a message board/forum for you freaks
looked at anastacias pictures, shes a beautiful, beautiful cat.
Is she well behaved?(I'm gathering she is yours DC)
i told her what you said and she was quite pleased...
she is the perfect cat and bitchy as hell... yes she is my cat
and when she rules the world she will spare you from the kitty-litter
do you have for me on sex???
don't use sharp objects, if you're not making SURE
that no kids are the result of your sex, then enjoy it as often
as you can, and of course... if you need any hands-on training...
i'll be happy to help you out for a small fee.
you think of lesbians??
i think that if they are going to use my washroom,
they should at least change the toilet paper roll when it runs
you think of hairdressers?
if any of them EVER hit my ears with a fucking comb
again... i'll kill them. are they trained to cause pain?
voice> i'm still in ur monitor u know
well i'm using a different computer right now so i'll
just sell the other monitor along with you in it.... i'm hoping
to get a few bucks for it!
i was walking
along the street 2day. will u have sex with my sock monkey? i
will send lots of cash.
well ok then... when i get the cash, then we'll arrange
a meeting between me and your sock monkey
voice> i am Fido Dido, n i'm still here in ur monitor. while
i'm here, is it ok if c JCP naked? i will send cash when/if i
well maybe i won't sell the monitor... and i doubt
you can see jcp naked.... but if you have enough cash.. then we
can convince her...
I am willing
to give myself to the cat campaign. I think I can get the ducks
to help. Will I be spared? (I was a cat in a past life) - Mzebonga
Well, you won't be put to work in the kittylitter mines... you
may be sent instead to harvest the catnip fields. The cats
only want ducks to eat... so if you can catch them then that'd
will i be spared from kitty litter mines?? Im special. -Laser-Monkey
perhaps... you'll have to demonstrate loyalty to the
cats and you may be put to work with mzebonga or assigned to water
Ahhh I'm guessing
you don't like hairdressers then? I'm a hairdresser too but I'm
pretty good, I've seen a lot a bad things, cutting ears, making
mistakes on haircuts........not good love Sally
i don't like ones that hurt my head/ears... other then that...
it's a job and if you like it then great and you should give me
some of your money.
to call into question the decision by cats to eat ducks, although,
I know it may see me sent to the darkest and dankest Kitty litter
mines. Ducks on the whole are very muscular and not particularly
good to eat, they are however an airforce, a navy and a reserve
infantry in one. Whereas cats are the masters of all land terrains,
I think the ducks would make useful allies. I think pigeons would
make much more sensible meals - their fatter and less toned meaning
they are much more tender. I am already trembling with fear for
my insubordination, but my wish is only to serve the cause. -
well... the cats will take these points into consideration...
and you may have to spend some weeks in the kitty litter mines
but it's not too bad for that period of time.
voice> rite, if i send $1million now, and give u another $1million
when i c jcp naked, can i have sex with her? i will send more
cash. - Fido Dido. ps i like ur desktop. i am still in ur monitor.
sure... send that million on over.... uh... but no... no sex with
jcp... unless you work out some sort of deal with her. i'm
glad you like my desktop... it's a creepy figure and as you can
see... all my icons are personalized.
i walk through the valley of death and smell the stench of death
and decay and i wear no gas mask. though the dead have no eyes
and stares still penetrate my glazed expressionless eyes. are
you still around to see me smile? is it possible for me smile
after i've seen what's here?
i would still be around to watch you smile... but frankly
i'm not interested in people smiling so i'd be off somewhere else
looking for a secluded area to hide in with my cat. if you
can still smile after that... then the drugs your on are definitely
worth the money you spent or the actions you performed to get
take money for sexual favours would you call yourself a)hooker
b)streetwalker c)prositute d)giggalo give me your own opinion
of what you think you are. Love Sally
i would call myself a cheap monkey who wants money...
and if people want to pay a sock monkey to have sex with it...
i don't think that i'm the one with the issues....
voice> have u been to superbad.com? its a pretty cool site.
u dont mind me using ur internet, do u? - Fido Dido
no i haven't... and maybe you should tell them how
cool THIS site is... and if you're going to other sites then this...
then damn straight i mind you using my internet... to teach you
a lesson... i'm going to uninstall all non-microsoft software
and leave you with office 2000.
about i bribe you with those pictures of you i have here of you
doing nasty stuff with gummy worms and your ass? oh... no wait...
that's not bribing... that's blackmail... now how about YOU send
ME money. SAnimal
i know you masturbate to those pictures wishing you
were the worms... don't deny it.
dc, i am a pathetic sock monkey who has no life besides answering
questions. In fact, my answers are usually stupid and make people
vomit. Should I just kill myself and save the world from my stupidity?
please do kill yourself... but everyone knows you're not cool
enough to be a sock monkey.
if a paddle
of wood slapped my ass twice, do you think that it would happen
a third time if i said nothing the first two times?
i think that it would continue to happen until you spoke up or
had your ass split open an then bleed to death.
a large red spot on my ass... what should i do?
pick it until it bleeds... everything will be ok then.
really a lap dancing sock monkey to be found??
yes there is... and to be honest... there really IS
a secret to the lap
dancing story... and if you followed it through to the right
ending ... you'll find out what it is.
voice> ok, the moneys on the way. i have yet to c JCP naked
yet, though. i am still in ur monitor, and i'm a bit hungry. would
it be possible 4 u 2 feed me once in a while? or even - dare i
say it? - let me out? thanks muchly - Fido Dido, possibly #1 fan
of this site, possibly #6
well... i only have some catfood, veggie hotdogs and some bread...
so you are free to leave my monitor... but you have to come back
to this site still or i'll hunt you down and force you into a
have further pondered the value of ducks to the cat cause and
been forced to find another weakness in the plan. With the ducks,
the cats (lords of all and supreme beings on this earth) would
be able to conquer the air and, their most feared adversary, water
but there is still one missing link. The greater enemy of the
canine world can still dig. Were cats to resort to the methods
of digging and hunting dogs out they would ruin their beautiful
fur coats and yet, if nothing were done, dogs could build a worthy
and strong restistance to the cats (as in done in many fictional
sci-fi series - Cleopatra 2525, for instance). For this reason,
I believe it may be necessary for our lords and rulers to ally
themselves with a burrowing creature. Moles? Maybe but they are
not viscious enough when facing an enemy. Worms? They are resilient
and keep going when cut in half but I believe the best ally would
be the Ants. Ants are the undeniable rulers of the deep, were
the cats to form such an alliance, the ants could get in the dog's
fur and make them itch so much they are forced out to the surface
and into the kitty litter mines to pull mine carts. - humble servant
to the cats, Mzebonga
the cats have taken your points into consideration, however, due
to the war of 1988 with the ants, and alliance at this time with
them is premature. the cats have been discussing other means
of burrowing etc, and they know that there are machines made to
do this sort of thing and until they can replace all the humans
with robots, humans will be used to operate the machinery.
dogs will be run over by this machinery, eliminating their threat.
all other details are classified.
cats feed us potatos? I like potatos - fergus o'dimbal
put it on your skills assesment form that the cats
will send to you under the "Other Notes" section.
groovy! i'm out! mind if i crash here 2nite? hey, i'll have this
site as my home page. its cool. in fact its insane. can i eat
the veggie hotdogs? thanks man - Fido Dido ps wheres sally?
you can stay for the night, just don't bother the cat. there
are a few veggie-dogs left so yes you can have some, just close
the bun-bag when you're done. i'm guessing that sally is
at home right now
hell does my cat show his true self to me but not to any1 else,
why does he not care for other people like he does me? and why
does he purrrrrrrr excitedly when I stroke him!?
because he only loves you and likes you when you pet him... you're
only there to serve him... be glad you have a happy master
are cows black and white?
they didn't like the way pink and white made their
im complaining! but wouldnt it be easier to reproduce a-sexualy?
wouldn't it be easier not to reproduce at all?
after a few decades, pollution, war, hunger and everything would
cease being problems as the population died off! but
yea... it would be a lot better, especially if you control if
you were going to reproduce or not.
first the chicken or the egg?
the chicken of course... why else would you be needing
an egg to throw?
the giant rabbits take me to the desert???????
i can't tell you... they might come for me. all
i can say is that if you can kill yourself now, do it quickly!
do you have sex?As in your picture you do not have any sex organs
of any type?
did you not see my fairly long tail? i know you're
in denial, but yes i am just that large. you can touch it
if you want.
me all your money haha no who are all your fav bands besides faith
and mr.bungle do they have a website
i like pop will eat itself, alice in chains, babylon
zoo, lords of acid, and fantomas.... they all have websites somewhere
boys like to stick their dicks up girls butts?
well some girls like it that way so they can have two
boys in them at once. sometimes it's just the guy who likes
it and the girl is too stupid to say no to it even though she
doesn't like it, and sometimes it's because the boy can't find
any other boys to do it to.
- Do you know when the cats - your cat is gonna take over the
world? PS-Sanimal is a TOSSER hahahahaha Love your sweetpea Sally
if i told you when they were planning to do it, then
i'd have to kill you. a tosser? that must be an australian
word because i haven't heard it used before!
Sanimal have to act like such a tosser?hahahahahahhaLove Sally
you'll have to explain what this word means to me!
i'm taking it that it means he's a pathetic loser who has no life,
no friends and no brains.
make you happy to spank people?If so can you spank me?
yes... spanking makes a lovely sound. yes i can
spank you... lemme see that ass.... paddle or no paddle?
masturbate with vigourous movement of the lower arm. TOSSER: Someone
who exercises the above frequently. I hope this explains the confusion
(I believe it is very much and British word) and seeing as SAnimal
is male he would exercise his right to do so regularly. However,
I guess he is very accomplished at it. Did you know the BeeGees
orginally called themselves "The Tossers"? Not only
a bad choice of name in terms of marketing but somehow fitting
given the band members. However, I have long since pondered: Do
the BeeGee's have genitals or were they removed at birth the achieve
the falsetto voices?
ahhh i see... i think they were born without genitals...
that's what i'm hoping at least.
US's love of dogs, will the Yanks be ruthlessly murdered when
the cats take over? Oh, please say they will, please. Er, hang
on, given my service, can I keep on or two for my own... personal
needs. That Portman girl springs to mind, amongst others - Mzebonga
yes, but not because they love dogs.... yes you may
keep two for your own needs.
4 letting me crash the night dc. i spoke with your cat, and have
pledged alligence with the cats. i agree with Mzebonga, and think
that ducks will be a worthy ally.... unless cats produce flying
machines. these will surely be better than ducks. but the future
cat lords know best. i hope that i wont have to spend many years
in the cat litter mines. - Fido Dido
there is no question in there! that's it... a spanking for you...
cats have full control, will they use us in some ultimate meglomaniacal
way like the machines in the Matrix or will they allow us our
own strictly marshalled communities where we will be encouraged
to pro-create and feed the "workforce" like in Planet
of the Apes? - Mzebonga
some of you humans will be used like in the matrix... and pro-creating
is NEVER encouraged.
I am worried
about my cat it has just grown a fifth leg,is this normal?
you have a male cat and he's just happy. try
not to touch him there but instead get him a female kitty
you get muck under your nails even if you only go to the pub?
when you aren't looking pubfairys shove dirt in there...
just to piss you off, and hopefully to spread disease.
I am a
female sock monkey looking for love and I think you could be the
one for me.I need a big tailed monkey to satisfy all my female
well come on over.... bring some food
DC, giant battle robots equipped with sock disintergrating lasers
are on their way to eradicate sock monkeys everywhere! What will
flee the planet! ahhhhhhhhh
you are made of sock material and therefore have no muscles, how
do you move?
i have wire in my body so i can be posed in many different
me a question so I'll answer it for you= a TOSSER is someone who
masturbates alot- yeah its an australian term like you would call
someone a dickhead or loser.I could imagine sanimal to toss alot
because or the dribble that came out of his mouth for his questions.
You should ban him from here. To the person who asked where I
was I was away with the faries hehe. Better ask a question ummm
Why do girls love to shop? I can't explain it myself. Love Sally
now not all girls like to shop... and those are the
girls who i would hang out with... shopping should not be fun
because it sucks to be around other people
do you know about street racing? Do suped-up cars interest you
i know nothing about it but it sounds like people should
find more productive things to do with their time. cars
don't interest me in any shape, way or form. i have a jeep
cherokee and that's good enough until i can get a hummer to run
all children and idiots down with.
I was crazy once, they locked me in a padded room, everyone knows
you can't die in a padded room, that is when the worms came...worms
drove me crazy.....Crazy? I was crazy once, they locked me in
a padded....will the worms help me or just keep talking forever?
waiting for the worms to come... the worms to come... waiting
please do some more photos of Anastasia?Love Sally who is still
off with the faires and now eats vegie burgers.
well, she is kinda fed up with the camera right now...
but if i can i will... she charges a large sum and i'm not as
rich as everyone else pretends to be
me you draw can you put some of your drawings on your site please?Love
Sally whos back from fairy land.
well i've been playing with a few on the computer... perhaps i'll
upload them at some point.... of course if you send me money i'll
frame them and send them to you
Fido Dido? Sally Keeping looking Fido you'll find me.....
he's with waldo... looking for canes
ever I am I'm always looking out a window wishing I was somewhere
else" Why do I do that?Sally
probably because you live in a shitty place just like
i do where all you want to do is kill everyone, move far far away
and never have to worry about money or stupid shit again and all
those damn kids outside just keep crying and crying and crying
and crying and crying
do stupid people keep making stupid balloon animals?
well, stupid people keep asking them to make more...
and the balloon animals never judge you... never mock you or call
you names, or call you and hang up in the middle of the night.
want a coffee? I know how you take it because I'm psycic-black
with 2 sugars?
i always want coffee and i'm amazed that you can read
and remember information! so where is my damn coffee already?
cheerleaders and their stupid pom poms? They should be shot!
even stupider people who wanted to see dumb bitches
jump up and down while being cheery. damn peppy people make
a ferret anyway?
no one i know... but in a dream chris had, ed had one
for some reason and maurice couldn't shoot him because he didn't
want to hit the ferret.
people blow in your ear when they know its annoying?
they want to see if you have a brain in there or if
the air will just come out the other ear
bums, they are the uglyest part of the body, what do you think?
feet are the ugliest part... bums are just function
and hold no interest for me. feet are all bony, vieny and
people that suck section there is one saying "people who
smile all the time" , I have 2 girls at my work who do that
, its so disgusting, whats worse (you should add this) they tell
me i should smile and if you complain about something say its
a quiet day at work they'll turn it into a positive and say oh
it will be busy.Anything bad you say they'll find a way to make
it positive, its sooooooooooo annoying.What do you think? Sally
you should punch them in the faces and then see what
good they can find in that...
know it's annoying to say pull my finger then they fart? Thats
these type of people should also be punched in the
face... see if they fart when you do that
I going to be bumped up to the "good friends" catagory?Sally
when i know you in person - face-to-face!
I bitchslap you?
yea... i think it need it... i just can't come up with
long responses to questions...
i have to do to get a fucking drink in this place?
lick the monkeys tail and then give us lots of cash...
well.. maybe just two thousand a month. that's not too much
to ask... i'm sure someone out there has some extra cash to throw
in a fight between me and fuckface who would win? be honest. i
mean i've got street smarts, a brain, and a broken bottle on my
side. she's got... well yeah. that's about all she's got. with
an answer to this question, my tirade will forever end... unless
you give the wrong answer. but you won't do that now will you?
hmmm... i'm not sure who would win. i'd definitely watch
though.. in fact we could broadcast it live on this site.
i'm sure sally would challenge you back when she found out you
call her fuckface. let's see what happens now shall we people?
we'll be taking bets soon....
anyway we can send you people to write in your people that suck
list or things for your other lists? I know heaps of people who
suck especially people who say "smile". Love Sally
hmmmm... well we have been considering opening it up to you people
again... so perhaps if you bribe us
hell am I supposed to get to Canada to meet you face to face when
I live in Australia?Would you actually want to meet me in person?Do
you actually want me as a friend? mmmmmmm probably not?Love Sally
usually its safer for people not to meet me... less blood and
paperwork for the authorities.
have been a vegitarian for one whole day. I feel good now.Am I
doing the right thing?
i think you're doing the right thing, but only if you're
doing it for your own reasons. make sure you pay attention to
what vitamins etc you're getting so you don't begin to lack.
if you run over cows with your car still, then you still have
some decisions to make
look at Perth cam ,where i live?If so do you like it?Love Sally
i've decided i hate it and all of what it stands for...
i refuse to accept any of it and am quite outraged. it's
time for all of us to take a stand against Australia and their
insistence on parading around the fact that they like bbqs.
have to put your drawings on your site first I ain't sending any
money. What do you like to draw? Love Sally
i doodle mostly... it sounds sad and in many ways it is.
its better then scratching my ass with a rusty fork, and seems
to amuse the cat
Yay I got
2 question awards. I didn't put name on them, I told you sometimes
I surprise you and don't put my name on them. Does that make me
ignorant? Love Sally PS-I hate cheerleaders, pomp poms and ballon
i'm so surprised i just pissed the couch... boy is that warm...
cheerleaders should be put to good work cleaning peoples houses...
all that waving up and down should be put to good use.
wanking, tossing???Boys and their toys.hahah
my cat has toys too...
Am I a
godess or what? Love Sally
you know, i was thinking about the bob newhart show
and how much it sucks. not only is it not funny, but that
guy has the personality of cardboard. that stupid wife of
his should have lit his sleeping body on fire ages ago.
things itch so bad after you shave them?
i'm not sure... but there are places that you only
shave once before learning your lesson... sure it will make you
look bigger, but it's not worth the price
you getting up? Why do you always sleep in? Love Sally
i get up all the time and who doesn't enjoy sleeping
backwards is laminas, which i take to mean laminated ass. Internet
Explorer plasic covered anus. Will i get a poison coated vulture
head because I made fun of sanimal?
laminated ass... thats a good one... but you won't get the award
because you asked for it and asking for it makes you untrue and
a color" part of the site LIES! My rock-with-a-face-painted-on-it
left me!!!! You stupid ass! What color is your blood?
my blood is usually blue.. but when i go to take a good look at
it, it comes out red. the pick a color part doesn't lie,
you just can't handle the truth... and did you ever think that
maybe, just maybe you and that rock weren't meant to be?
it's ok.. there are plenty of rocks in the ocean.
like to join the society for putting things on top of other things?
Last year alone, our total number of successful thing-putting
attempts was nearly 1!
well, i attempt to put my thing on others things many times throughout
the year... but for some reason my things get hit by other things
and then bad things happen... so just keep me out of it for now
I am so
sorry for not asking you a question, DC. so, i will ask several
now. where is fairy land? when do i get into the "Cool viewers
that come back for more..." bit? is it still the carrot?
can i crash here again? will we loyal sevants of the cats, mightyest
and true rulers of the universe, be able to serve them after they
take over the universe, or we become slaves also? i do hope my
penace for daring to question the cats will be short. - Fido Dido
now i know where sally is......
fairy land is in the mists above some moutians in china.
you can get into the list in a few weeks unless you bribe me.
the carrot is innocent, the celery did it. you can crash
if you bring chips. some of you will become servants and
some will become slaves.
fuck are you talking about!? The Balloon animals always mock me!
Are these magic balloon animals, or are they made by smarter people?--Laser-Monkey
i was talking about bob newhart and his shitty show that i was
forced to turn off. magic balloon animals would be great
as we could have them take us far away from this human-ridden
planet and to 'balloona", home planet of the balloon animals.
hell are you staring at me?
how would you know if i was staring at you if you weren't
staring at me?
is definately wrong here. you think?
usually, but lately i'm been questioning that as just
an idea that the white mice have put into my head
I'm having withdrawl symptoms. I'm on the vegitarian eating plan
and I feel like I'm dying. I'm not used to eating vegitables.
Why am I doing this again? Sally
don't ask me... you're the one who decided to do it...
i'm just a sock monkey oh yea... and make sure
you remove the veggies or fruit from the branches they grow on...
if you don't do that they're hard to eat and will make you feel
like you're dying.
believe I'm on your cool viewers list. When did you put me on
there and when did I become cool? I wasn't aware that I was. Love
Sally Ps was it like a group desiscion who goes on the list or
does anyone decide?
you were on it since it's been there cuz you've been
coming to the site for awhile.. unless you're a different sally
lying to be cool... we wrestle on the ground to figure out who
the last movie you went to see?
planet of the apes
was going through every page of your questions and I noticed the
question "are you gay" about ten times, maybe you should
include this in your list of rules of things not to ask?
well i haven't had that one in awhile... and you get a good question
award for spending the time reading all the past questions
alot of people ask you questions about sex. Do you hate that?
Don't they realise your not Dr Ruth?
i don't mind... i mean everybody in the world thinks
about it and although dr ruth is smart, her explaining these things
to you is kinda like you're parents telling you how to enjoy sex...
you just feel creepy and wrong. plus sock monkeys are more
live in the moment?
depends on the moment really
navels and stomachs? I think they are so sexy only when they are
toned. Love Sally Especially Angelina's!!
i think that navels are just a divet in someones stomach..
and stomachs repulse me if they are large and unclothed.... other
then that i don't care about them... i'm not a tummy kinda monkey
said we are arrogant if we put our names, whats wrong with that?
he's just trying to get more popular then you are so
when the dance comes around you won't be voted as homecoming monkey
instead of him.
you think of Micheal Jackson preending to be white?
it's better then him pretending to be an elephant...
can you imagine the excuses we'd hear for him having a trunk?
"well it's a rare nose disease that enables me to puck up
miss ciggarettes after sex?
i didn't smoke after sex... i just roll over and go
& gemini: These two signs work best when they compliment each
others personalities. I add spice to your life and you soothe
my life. Love Sally - I like horoscopes do you?
i think that horoscopes are just general statements and that if
you twist them in your own mind to mean something then you might
at well just send me all your money now...
to Seth and Robin ? They sucked.Were they going out? Sally They
deserve each other hahahha
i'm not sure... perhaps they ran off together to the
mountains to breed flying sock monkeys... it sure would explain
all those sightings....
Am I embarrassing
only if you put your hand slightly to the left... oh
yea... yea.... yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am from England and there is a set of commertials on T.V that
feature our very own sock monkey! He advertises "ITV Digital"
and he has a human friend called Al.Do you have a human friend?and
do you know our great famous sock monkey? P.S. Our English sock
monkey's name is "MONKEY"!!!!! love from your english
chums, whatto!, lardy dar and all that!
cool! that's my cousin Fredo! i have a few human
friends... but none as wonderful as cousin fredo... he just uses
the stage name monkey.
what's it gonna be? you gonna leave or am i gonna have to fuck
now now ... anyone is allowed to ask questions until
i say enough... sure, it'd be funny to see you two scrap over
something silly like this... but let's face it... without the
jello it's just not erotic enough. there's enough sock monkey
to discuss arrogance. At no point did I suggest that arrogance
was a bad thing, I simply suggested that it was unfair to reward
solely the arrogant. In an ideal, non-fascist situation like the
one that the masterful DC tries to create (not discrimination
against sexual preference) it would be ultimately beneficial to
reward those who contribute equally to the question but prefer
to remain anonymous. As it is the popularity of being known to
fellow Domainers and mentioned in their questions is a wonderful
ego trip but on the whole I would never seek to assume greater
popularity than Sally, Laser-Monkey, Fido Dido and certainly not
the visionary DC. All I seek is to find a place to belong as an
equal and while this place is not among the sane, I think I may
be able to find it here. What do you say DC, can I keep coming
back? Is this a place where men, sockmonkies, cats, ducks and
ants can truly be equal or is it just another question and answer
page? - Mzebonga, last among equals
yes you may come back at any time... and i promise to spend as
much time thinking about replies to humans as i do towards all
other creatures... but deep down inside... humans aren't my favorite.
i was so sure it was the carrot :p. i brung chips. they is oven
chips. do you mean chips as in french fries, or chips as in crisps/potato
slices? when you say "unless you bribe me..." in reference
to me getting on the cool viewers bit, is that if i bribe you
i wont get on? this is a cool site. all hail the cats, Masters
of the Universe™ (used with permission (from the cats, lords of
the universe)), will the war be come-as-you-are, bring-your-own-guns,
the-cats-will-provide, or what? i can get tanks. i do hope my
penance for questioning the tatics of the cats will not be much
longer in the mines. - Fido Dido ps can i crash here again, i
i mean chips as in you better bring both or i'll bitch slap you
with my tail. i say that i want to be bribed because basically
i just want people to give me stuff for free... and if it's money
i get for free then all the better. the cats will supply
you with the information you need... only when you need it though.
if you have money and are willing to give it to me, then you are
going to make a message board for your almighty site? i think
it would be a good idea. i appreciate the time you invest, and
will bring potato salad. the purple cows stand in the way of the
cats conquest! - Fido Dido
yes, i have a programmer working on it right now and he's informed
me that it should be available soon. i've told him how i'd
like it to look and work and the customization is almost done.
if you bring potato salad, i will hurt you, as i hate potato salad.
just bring the potatoes and leave those poor cows alone
help stop bread! More than 98 percent of convicted felons are
bread users. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming
households score below average on standardized tests. In the 18th
century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average
life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates
were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases
such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death. Bread
is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example,
nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously
cumulative: 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten
bread. 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread. 96.9% of all Communist
sympathisers have eaten bread. 99.7% of the people involved in
air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the
accident. 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where
bread is served frequently. Evidence points to the long-term effects
of bread eating: Of all the people born in 1839 who later dined
on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate. Bread is made
from a substance called "dough." It has been proven
that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate
a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one
month! Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a
low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and
osteoporosis. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects
deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread
after as little as two days. Bread is often a "gateway"
food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as
butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts. Bread has been
proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent
water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being
taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a
soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. Newborn babies can choke on
bread. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!
That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. Most
bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant
scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. In light
of these frightening statistics, I propose the following bread
restrictions: No sale of bread to minors. A nationwide "Just
Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and
bumper stickers. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay
for all the societal ills we might associate with bread. No animal
or human images, nor any primary colours (which may appeal to
children) may be used to promote bread usage. The establishment
of "Bread-free" zones around schools. Will you support
me? Bread is very dangerous - Fido Dido ps i'm sorry 'bout the
i like bread and it likes me... if you stop us, we will stuff
bread up your ass until you die. this is almost article
length... perhaps someday we'll let others besides qbryzan write
articles and we'll add this... until then... just steer clear
of bakeries and uh... yea you better be sorry about the length...
now i'm tired
Fido Dido keep wanting to know where I am? Hes creepy plus I'm
right behind him.Boo. Sally
he likes your bum... unlike a certian someone who wants
to kick your bum. maybe fido can protect you
a gerbal? What is the right spelling?(Gerbal or jerbal)Where can
I get one?
neither... it's gerbil... i think you can get one from
someone's ass if they have a tube coming out of it, or a pet store.
they are little rodents that people confine to tiny cages and
force them to run in a little circle thing for amusement.
fought and won to put me on the cool viewers list? Who didn't
want me there? Sally
well i put it there along with the rest of the names
and no other member has deleted it....
the gay question too, why do I always get a good question award
when I don't put my name?
because i secretly hate you and your hair... and it's
your fault if you don't sign your name to the good questions!
how would you know if i didn't know because you know
question was arrogant wasn't it?Sally
in many ways yes, but in a completely absurd way, kind
watching hockey... or trying to have sex with something...
it depends on what season it is and how well the leafs are doing...
so for all of you who watch hockey... you know which of the two
has more of a chance of going all the way....
I get a
lot of grief from women for going to sleep after sex. I think
I've even managed during on one occasion. Is this bad? - fergus
yes, those are indeed bad women.. .unless of course you fall asleep
before you roll off of them.
did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar?
And did you miss me when you were out looking for yourself out
there? - Mzebonga
no, i came from my ship... i don't think i have any
permenant scars as even my eyebrow ring growing out scar has disappeared
after a year... i haven't come back for looking for myself so
i'll let you know when i came back
FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU ROTTEN POTATO CHIP!!! YOU TOOK MY
WOOBEE BALL!!! I WANT IT BACK!!! GO SUCK A PLUM!!! EAT MY PHLEGMBALL!!!
WHY THE HELL IS MY BIG TOE TALKING TO ME? JOIN MY FREE THE ANIMALS
ARMY!! MOO!!! -"Some mentally deranged chick"
your big toe is talking with you to discuss the possiblity
of it getting some time off. it's been there for you since
you came to life and it just wants a week or two to relax without
all those little toes looking on. is it really to much to ask?
sure he was calling me fuckface?, I don't fuck anyone so it can't
be me.hahahaha Only my b/f when I feel like it.hhahahaaha Sally
it's a her calling you that... and as we all know... girls can
easily fuck each others face... in fact i'd like everyone who
reads this to take a minute and think about it...
a hairdresser so I have scissors,COMBS and razors. I know how
scared you are of the comb???hahahahaha Sally
just leave my ears the hell alone! i know all hairdressers are
trained to draw blood from the ears, but damnit i've had enough
and will fight you sadistic freaks to the bitter bloody end
such a wally aren't you? hahahaa
i'm a DC... and i've never been to wallyworld
scare me that easily DC?
i don't? well i guess i didn't try enough... how is
this? or this? or that? scared yet?
as long as Fido Dido is crashing at your place, mind if i hang
out there awhile? I don't have money, but I have things that look
like money.. and i have glitter glue.-Laser-Monkey, Your favorite
laser wielding monkey.
well ok but you better have some blue glitter glue
and plenty of popsicle sticks... do you know how to build a wicked
fort using saran wrap and toothpicks?
I was done with the coffee, I found these bags of white stuff
at the bottom. My friend Steve said he'd buy them off of me for
a fiver each - claimed they were chalk dust and he knew a guy
who'd buy them - anyway I sell each of these bags - about 50 altogether,
weighing a few kilos each - and the next thing I know, Stevie's
left the country and only gone and bought himself a large plot
of land in Brazil. He never even told me he'd won the lottery.
The bastard. So the point I making, is that the value of chalk
dust on the stock market must have shot up over night for him
to have made that much. The man must be a financial genius. Do
you know of any other products like chalk dust that I could invest
in and make my millions - I need to move to Brazil - Stevo still
owes me a tenner for a bet on a pool game. - Mzebonga
i have found that cute colored pills make money too... they might
be vitamins, but i don't ask those kind of questions. steve
also owes me 20 bucks...
as if ? You wish ? hahahahah
i do wish... but i wish about money, large fuzzy sock
monkey asses and flying dragons.
jealous because I'm in the list? hahahhahahahahah
everyone is on my list of people to kill... it's just
a matter of where you are on that list. i also have a list
of crazy thoughts
that i (and a few others have had), and many other insane
supposed to be a threat? scissors? bring it on fuckface, if that's
the best you can do than i might as well claim victory now. what
could a hairdresser possibly have that would intimidate me? hmm?
that's what i thought.
there is no question in here for me? i think
that perhaps one should remove the old bloody pad from their panties
and bring out a nicer newer one...
you know she was calling me fuckface when she didn't even put
name? Thanks that what you think of me hmmmm.
i am psychic sock monkey... and she told me it was you.
i think that a good ass-paddling should clear up the whole situation....
unless you two will agree to wrestle naked so i can show it online
I m know what your going to think is a good question? Its usually
the ones you don't think are going to get it.
well that's why you need to submit more then one question... it
increases your odds
I always get picked on? I didn't do anything wrong. Who is this
"person" who wants to fuck me over anyway. They didn't
even put thier name. Maybe I shouldn't come here anymore
like the last time.Sally
don't blame an innocent sock monkey for the hatred... it's not
me! how about this... from now on... all such items towards
sally will be deleted... besides... this is all about me answering
your insane questions, not participating in cat fights...
Am I as
pure as an angel?
i'm voting for no. if i could grind you up into
powder i could check for sure...
hide and seek?
ok... you hide first...
I was cleaning
out my room the other day in preparation for returning to University
when I made a horrific discovery. As I was packing up my AIWA
NSX999X hi-fi with 100W speakersand metallic grey finish, I stumble
upon a rare breed of monkey. Polystyrene Monkies. Thousands of
them. Upon opening the box, the horrid little mites beganing shreiking
in high pitched bonechilling ways which set my teeth on edge.
They began marching all over me and restrained me like the Liliputians
restrained Gulliver. Once I was tied the began screaming in turn
into my ears. The ringing is still with me three days later. They
left me in my attic and marched out. It took two days for me to
break my bonds but I fear for the human race. These monkies were
believed extinct, wiped out in a war with the equally deadly Blackboard
Monkies, and I've just unleashed a whole colony on the world.
Prepare yourselves for the coming invasion, free all cats from
catteries and pet store, alert the ducks and call for the ants.
Hell is coming and it's coming soon! Prepare for war. THE POLYSTYRENE
MONKIES ARE ON THE MARCH!!!!!! Can anything stop them? Yes pray
for rain. Pray for rain to wash them into pulp. If they come near
you, urinate on them. Don't let them squeak lest you be cold heartedly
murdered but don't get caught out while you're trying to piss
on them because they will kill you while you have your pants around
your ankles. And there's nothing worse than that is there? - Mzebonga
i think that perhaps you should put less story and more question
into these entries of yours... not that i don't enjoy the insanity...
but damnit everyone is forgetting this is about asking questions!!!!!!!
we'll be having a discussion forum soon so save it for that!
although... i am now living in fear of the polystyrene monkeys...
take shelter! run for the hills!
mr banana split went to the supermarket yesterday and he asked
me for a cheese bun and i said fuck you you asshole you're gonna
die was i too mean to him?
i think that the asshole comment was a bit harsh, but damnit,
i'm tired of him asking for cheese buns... next time peel the
fucker and eat his innards.
I'm canadian and I like to hump my bed. Now, normally, I'm informed
that there should be another person of the opposite sex in the
bed when I hump and ejaculate all my bodily fluids on to the wet
mattresses... is this true? Or should I continue with my inane
behavior of humping my bed? If you answer this well, I also have
a problem with my dog and our neighbor's plants I need to talk
to you about.
well... some may lead you to believe that you need another person,
but quite frankly, anything that will absorb your bodily fluids
is a great idea. you may find that you go through a lot
of bedding... so i suggest that you put down some towels to save
you the hassle of having to always sleep on sticky bedding.
now if you can find someone who is willing to lay on your bed
to take your bodily fluid away, make sure that this person is
above the age of 16, aware of what is going on, and most importantly,
make sure that no kids will be a result. i look forward
to your question about your dog and your neighbors plants.
i got blue glitter glue, and PURPLE! And glitter blood glue!!!
yup.Fort? out of popsicle sticks? hehe, ill bring LIFE SIZE popsticle
sticks. thanks again- Laser-Monkey, Monkey, with a laser...
i build forts in my living room all the time... my
cat enjoys playing in them too
the going rate for a hooker these days?
depends on the quality... and certain fetishes will
cost you more too. i know a certain sock monkey that charges
extra if you want to touch the tail.
you've heard this a lot, so bear with me, but i must spew it like
a popping zit. music nowadays sucks. punk is now trendy and pussified.
all my old favorites have broken up, are on hiatus, or now suck.
i keep delving further into obscure music and genres to try to
find a good band, but i've realized that to find a good obscure
band, you need to wade through a lot of crappy ones. a LOT of
crappy ones. i'm very disillusioned. is there any hope?
well, no. there isn't really a whole lot of hope... your
best bet is to find obscure bands who are still producing good
quality punk... i'm not the best person to inform you on punk
though... try schizoid
massage board gonna b up? n what bout that message board? can
i just live here 4 now? i will bring money. - Fido Dido, loyal
servant of the cats (should the word "cats" be capitilised,
seeing as cats are the rulers of the universe?)
it will be up very soon! i've been told sometime this
week but you know how programmers are. yes, i think that
Cats should be capitalized... good suggestion... they'll be some
extra catnip in your snacks.
Dc, I once made a sock-monkey out of old socks and i fucked up
the tail, and now it looks lke the tail is growing out of his
back. well needless to say, when is the best time for eating cheeses?
id like to know mostly about pepperjack cheese. thanks buddy.
the best time to eat any cheese is during the full moon.
other then that, any other time of day (except for those moments
spent in your shower) is a great time to eat cheese. now
eating the cheese is more important.. you must savor each
bite, and delight in each cheesy moment of blissful taste.
feel the texture of it in your mouth, the aged flavor of it and
most of all, the aftertaste of it on your tongue.
So I should
ask a short, to the point question, not some blathering long tale?
But exactly what is the point? I've exhausted all my one line
questions, so I go on for hours. How can you do this to me? -
well even though your entries were interesting and
all... lets face it... its too long for people with short attention
spans... and most importantly... sock monkeys with short attention
spans. when the discussion forum is up... i'm sure that
you'll be a valued poster... so quit your day job, give up sleeping
and start typing up your ideas for when it's online.
i have the same enitials as yourself. and i can't spell very well...
think there's a connection?
there could be, but then of course i'm sure there is
a connection between having your ass slapped with a raw fish and
the mating habits of one-celled organisms.
is nutty, why?
are you sure? if i were i would have another
taste... if it still tastes nutty, start calling all your family
members to inform them that you may die in the next few days.
the only primate in sock toy form?
so far... there have been sightings of sock crickets
and sock snails... there have been rumors of sock children, but
no evidence has been found yet to support those claims.
"faith no more" i've never heard of that band? i hear
their your fav band, whats their sound like? My fav band is the
Dead Kennedys, what do you think of the dead kennedys?
faith no more is... well it's a great band and go to www.fnm.com
to find out more if you really want. their sound changes
from album to album, my favorite being angel dust which is a heavier
album. they are what corn, incubus, and all those other
bands only dream of being. dead kennedys.. who hasn't heard
of them? i think they rock
punk becoming mainstream now? what can I as a punk rawker sock
munky do to stop this?
real punk isn't mainstream... and stupid rich kids
who think they have life so tough and they walk around with their
damn pants to their knees seem to think that their 'hardcore'
music makes them cool... try to ignore their stupidity, their
stupid bass-pumping cars and hang onto your punk cds until they
all go away... then everything will be fine... just fine... just
whiz be used as a high powered adhesive?
yes, and a tasty substitute for toothpaste too.
goverment tells me it's carbonation, but i think you know better,
why are there bubbles in my soda, all knowing Dc?
they have enslaved an alien race, forcing them to blow bubbles
into all of our beverages so that the government can sell us shitty
boy bands and slutty pre-teens until we all choke on the smog
that factories spew out at us. just make your own soda and
fart through a straw into it... it tastes much better then you'd
think... at half the cost!
MY waterbuffallo? why dont I have a waterbuffallo? it's not fair!
can i hav a sockmonkey instead?
no... you get a sock cricket... maybe when you're older
and have learnt more you can upgrade to a sock monkey. not
just anyone can have a sock monkey you know... they're very selective.
of cancer is Lumpas?
i didn't know it was a type of cancer... here i thought
it was a group of small humanoids that call themselves Umpa Lumpas.
they're the ones who do those fabulous little dances with the
i was thinking that i would sell all my things and abandon all
my friends and family to go on a 12 year sabatical into the new
russian republic. Do you think my friends would take me back if
i brought them a bunch of those little dolls that open up to even
smaller ones? you know what i'm talking about. everyone loves
those dolls are great... in fact forget all your loser friends
and just send me those dolls. i like to put things in them.
they hold my secrets. my pretty little dolls hold ALL my
what i read that was total bullshit?
it could be... but MAD Magazine isn't exactly a source
of real news. that alfred guy should be president though
love the Dead Kennedys, i'm so glad, Dc...you are the almighty
hero to us all love, tater tot queen
why thank you... uh... but where's the question?
i eat my
finger nails, is that sick?
yes it is actually... do you know how many germs are
on your fingers? that and i know you pick your butt... and
then put garlic salt on it... i mean garlic salt is just sick
to eat off your fingers.
i do...what do i do! Oh help me! what ever shall i do! My bike
has broken, and theres a pie in the oven, baked with love'n..what
do i do!
eat the pie after its cooled down a bit, then fix your
damn bike or stop bitching about it. when you're done, go
to your bank, withdraw all your money and send it to me.
you sneaking in the back door with dirty magazines?
because i owe that guy coming in the front door 5 bucks...
and i think they're his magazines...
people freak out at the site of blood?Its like hello chill out
its not that bad!
i'm not sure why... maybe they're afraid of red roses
and blood reminds them of that color. maybe they were hurt
by a rose as a child and haven't yet worked out the trauma.
you should comfort them and try to work through their 'issues'
by rubbing blood in their face telling them that everything will
be just fine.
people freak out at Dc when they realise hes not a sock monkey????
who has freaked out? and i AM a sock monkey... in fact...
am i even male? i'm not sure... what's going on? i think
i'm freaking out... aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
thats what i said... twice.
taken. So, I was wondering: Is this burning an eternal flame?
Or is it just a nasty case of heartburn? Not knowing whether or
not the evils of Atomic Kitten have reached your shores: Is there
a nasty fate awaiting them? - Mzebonga
it is indeed an eternal flame that is burning and it is caused
by your poor eating habits. i told you to stop eating those
insanity peppers if you weren't going to eat bread with them.
there is a nasty fate awaiting all who come to this planet
glad to hear
about the message board. i think u should bitch-slap the programmers
to make them work faster. will we loyal servants of the Cats serve
them even after the great war when they take over the universe?
when can i get onto the cool viewers bit? - Fido Dido, "there
are many intelligent species in the universe, and all of them
are owned by cats"
well i think you've earned being added to the list... and the
cats appreciate your loyalty and to reward you, you will be assigned
the job of food preparation for them. after a few years,
you may progress to Food Bringer.
fuck is the meaning of life?
42... doesn't anybody READ anymore? well... 42
and maybe some naked bodies... or 42 naked bodies....
Satan have acsess to the internet and if so does he visit porn
if he exists then i'm sure satan would go online...
but he would probably visit all the xian sites to have a good
hard laugh at them. why would he download porn when he could
just go do it himself.
for shizoid- what do you think of gg allin?
Schizoid says.... GG Allin is cool because he would
play naked and piss and shit into his hands, and then fling it
at the audience - any band that does that is cool in my book.
Plus, someone told me the band Anal Cunt got their name from a
GG Allin song, though AC totally deny it."
purple glitter! i've got green glitter! i've got a fucking aneurysm
from listening to all this babble. how do i get from 4th to Main?
you take a left on 3rd... drive for 20 minutes... then
turn around and come back
and i ever get married?
well, after consulting with various people on the subject,
it appears that you'll get married, but then have a bitter drawn-out
divorce. it will be all your fault and you'll get NOTHING.
on the good side, you'll win an award for your wonderful garden.
is the postal service exam?
depends on if you can follow sidewalks, reach into
bags, and of course, how well you can handle a gun
then what's the question? that's only the answer...
well we're working on the question... those mice will
let us know when they get their question
42 is the meaning of life! i'm in the cool viewers bit! i might
be a Food Bringer! whoohoo! life is great! or at least mine is!
or at least it is now! anyway, my question(s).... why do most
americans hate forgieners? are american kids taught stereotypes
in school? blur lyrics: "there must be more to life than
stereotypes". Dr. Pepper is nice, do you like Dr. Pepper?
hey, i still havnt seen JCP naked. i sent u lots of money. mayb
you should do a porn section? - Fido Dido, all hail the Cats!
americans are rude and arrogant. they are taught it from
birth through tv and everything else they see. dr pepper
is not a favorite of mine. if you did send in money and
could convince a few of your friends to, then yes we would put
a porn section on here.
i dare say it is. or do i? - Fido Dido
i can't believe you actually said that. i'm stunned.
it that 27 year old men date 15 year old girls? What can they
possibly get from the relationship besides a prison sentence,
a sexually naive partner and a hell of a lot of hassle from an
immature girlfriend? - Mzebonga
you mean there is MORE? i thought that WAS it...
that and people are just stupid. since they are stupid, they want
someone around who's stupider to make them feel smarter.
the only way they can do this is by getting stupid little teenyboppers
who don't know enough yet.
is the alphabet in that order? is it because of that song? - Fido
yes it is because of that song. it gained popularity
in the 1800's and since children had it all memorized, they decided
to build a cult of sorts around it... the whole alphabet thing
is a plot to kill us all.
I KILL! barny the dinosaur without any one knowing that it was
the only reason anyone would care if it was you would
be so that we could create a statue in your image and dedicate
a holiday to you.
the dinosaur trying to take over the world
no, he is trying to get into children's pants
im a girl
teach me how to masterbate
you have to buy me dinner first you demanding bitch
was looking through the past questions and on page seven u said:
"Cats already have taken over the world, they just use us
as puppets to do their bidding. Sure, they let us go around and
do what we want most of the time, but when it's time to eat...
you better believe we're gonna hear about it" i am devasted!
how am i to show my loyalty to the Cats if i cannot fight in battle?
have you been lying to us when you say that the Cats are going
to take over, when they have already? or is this a test to show
our loyalty? ah! thats what it is! its good to hear that the forum
is gonna b up soon! - Fido Dido, dogs have owners, Cats have servants
if i told you the truth, it would ruin the whole thing.
so instead i'd like to share my feelings on carrots and mayonaise.
i personally don't care for the combination. i also feel
that if a carrot approached me in the forest with a knief, that
it would try to injure me. damn carrots. oh, and monkey
bone is a wicked movie.
these really the rules: "No gibberish. No repeating the same
question over and over. I will NOT answer any more questions about
photosynthesis or the effect of light/color on plants. I require
great amounts of money for sexual favors. If I think you're using
someone else's name to ridicule them, I will alter or remove the
name. No making this your personal messaging board. URLs to your
stupid and sad sites will be removed from your message, along
with email addresses. telling a short interesting story is ok...
just make sure you ask a question along with it.
I can be bribed to let you break any of these rules if
you give me any or all of the following: great amounts of money,
mr bungle / faith no more items, leaf tickets."? or is it
the guidelines? - Fido Dido
damnit fido dido... don't make me beat you with your keyboard...
you're just copying text i've already written to try to make your
questions look interesting... that is why you get the stinky butt.
those are some of the rules... the rest are in my head and you
won't hear about it
we destroy the alphbet? is this evil concoction going to try and
destroy the Cats, true rulers of the cosmos? - Fido Dido, ps the
carrot has risen and is going to kill 26 children, in Aberdeen,
Scotland before trying to kill Bush
you can't destroy the alphabet, just destroy those who use it.
no. and i told you about those damn carrots already.
and now i'll warn you about stool pigeons flying in the skies...
there a national nude day? In fact, why isnt everyday national
nude day? Of course, for you every day is nude day because all
you wear are thos little boots but what about the rest of us?
you can choose at any time to go naked... there are
even colonies of people that do that... send me pictures and i'll
tell you if you should go naked or not...
ßµ§h. åhå! ï ©Äñ †ÿþ€ µ§€ïñg mø§†£ÿ §†®ãñg€ ©hÅ®Ã©†€®§• ©âñ ÝØµ
®€ÃÐ ¡†¿?Ðö †h€ÿ äLL @Þþ€æ® þ®ÒÞ€®£ÿ¿?¬F¡ÐÒ Ð¡ÐØ™²ºº1 - Fido Dido
you don't have a job to go to do you?? perhaps i should
send you some string to amuse you for awhile... would you like
red or green string? another butt is awarded to you to go
with the first one...
have formed this list of things to watch out for: anal rape quicksand
body lice evil spirits gridlock acid rain continental drift labor
violence flash floods rabies torture bad luck calcium deficiency
falling rocks cattle stampedes bank failure evil neighbors killer
bees organ rejection lynching toxic waste unstable dynamite religious
fanatics prickly heat price fixing moral decay hotel fires loss
of face stink bombs bubonic plague neo-Nazis friction cereal weevils
failure of will chain reactions soil erosion mail fraud dry rot
voodoo curses broken glass snake bites parasites white slavery
public ridicule faithless friends random violence breach of contract
family scandals charlatans transverse militias structural defects
race riots sun spots rogue elephants wax buildup killer frost
jealous coworkers root canals mental fatigue corporal punishment
sneak attacks peer pressure vigilantes birth defects false advertising
ungrateful children financial ruin mildew loss of priveleges bad
drugs ill-fitting shoes widespread chaos stray bullets runaway
trains chemical spills locusts airline food shipwrecks prowlers
bathtub accidents faulty merchandise terrorism discrimination
wrongful cremation carbon deposits beef tapeworms taxation without
representation escaped maniacs sunburn abandonment threatening
letters entropy nine-mile fever poor workmanship absentee landlord
solitary confinement depletion of the ozone layer unworthiness
intestinal bleeding defrocked priests loss of equilibrium disgruntled
employees global warming card sharks poisoned meat nuclear accidents
broken promises contamination of the water supply obscene phone
calls nuclear winter wayward girls mutual assured destruction
rampaging moose the greenhouse effect cluster headaches social
isolation Dutch elm disease contraction of the universe paper
cuts eternal damnation the wrath of God americans nuclear war
syphillis HIV AIDS are there any more that need adding?that one
'bout things to watch out 4 was from me. erm... i better ask a
question..... carrot? or is it purple? or is it <insert random
noun here>? - Fido Dido
thats the last long random message
allowed through... i'm going to have to chop off your tail now
and report you to the cats. they have strict rules and you
have broken them once too many... you will most likely be sentenced
to life working in the shit fields, clearing away shit with your
hands and sampling it for the cats amusement.
to me that you are giving out good question awards at an alarming
rate. if you look at the past you will note that there is not
a qood question award on every page and those pages hold quite
a few questions, where as now there is at least one every time
you update the questions. are the questions getting better? are
you just lowering your standards as to how good the questions
have to be to reviece one? is it maybe that fuckface is offering
sexual favors in return for the ugly green turtle head? any help
on this matter would be greatly appreciated. thanx.
i think my standards have been lowered... sometimes i'm just happy
to get a question i can actually give more then a few word answer
to. sometimes i'm just giddy with awards... and some are
actually good questions... other times the cats force me to give
them out to amuse them. sexual favors? well ok, but
i demand dinner first. then you can spank me baby... oh
yea... just like that... oh yeeeeaaaaaaa
I asking a sock puppet questions?
there is no arm up my ass! i am no puppet! sure
i may enjoy fisting every once in awhile but who doesn't?
the answer to all lifes problems?
alcohol, pot, time and food.
am i saying right now?
you're saying 'gee i'd love to get a good question
award but i just don't have the brain for it. perhaps i
should go next door and steal their brains, hook them all up together
into my brain and start asking good questions"
is dead then how come he is standing infrount of me?
your mr potato head is NOT jesus... at least thats
what mine says...
is a peice of string?
about this long... no wait... this long... no that's
not right... hmmm... this long maybe
girl ever queff in my face?
maybe... start saving your money now
future will i run away from home and go to detroit to fullfill
my life goal.
no... but only because you can not shove an elephant
up your ass and survive... and there's not a lot of elephants
you empersonate a bag f chips?
stuff yourself with chips and just sit on a shelf until
someone opens you
tell me how long should the hair for dreadlocks be
uh... i'd think at least 6 inches... but hell i haven't
done it so i have no clue
deal with ovalteen, the mug is round, the tin is round, why dont
they call it roundteen?
if i were you, i'd write the company and DEMAND an
for the statue in my image and i am looking forward to that holiday
P.S. should i go ahead with my plan to kill that friggen purple
you only get the statue if you kill the dinosaur... otherwise,
NO statue for you
what point in the process of things do we know that we've fallen
in love? Is it possible to fall in love twice? Isn't it more than
likely that love is simply a state of europhoria we achieve when
eating chocolate and drinking coffee or taking illegal substances?
If it is, then does love really exist or is it just another petty
addiction for human beings? What if love is simply the state of
compromise - that we simply fall in love with someone for the
sake of not being alone even though that person doesn't meet our
vision of the perfect mate? Isn't it likely that if even a meagre
percentage of the population had the integrity to say they'd not
wish to compromise their expectations of the perfect mate then
more people would die bitter and alone? Do you think it is likely
that there is someone for everyone on this planet? Is there anyone
for me? - Mzebonga. PS: What becomes of the broken hearted (who
had love that's now departed)?
you know, with all this talk of love and stuff... let's just face
it... sometimes you fall in love, or you THINK you're in love
but then suddenly you're not anymore or the person you love is
saying they don't love you and then it's tears and then the phone
call of apology that leads to another few weeks of bliss then
terror as the whole thing happens again and each time you feel
less and less in love until you are just bitter drunk and alone
thinking what a fuckup that person was and if there is anyone
out there for you but who needs that sort of shit anyways when
you've got friends and they're much better then the mind-fucking
you get from dating
am i going
no, you're not crazy until you understand all those
cartoons on tv
children destroyed once they are delivered?
the parents should be destroyed to prevent the whole
mess... in fact all you pesky humans should be destroyed
importantly ...........how did you become an amotron?
i wrote in to the company and they sent me a membership
card to carry in my wallet
think pot is the answer to anything. Potheads need there head
red for using that shit or anything else.Neither is alcohol. Time
can be. Food isn't either it will make you fat.Depending on what
and how much you eat. The answer to everything is sleeping, time,
angelina jolie, magazines, money and tv.For me anyway. Sally Plus
hows your cat?
potheads are fine as long as they don't let it control
their lives, it's all those OTHER drugs that suck ass. TV
is the PROBLEM to most things and sleeping just leads to dreaming
dreaming and more dreaming. my cat is sleeping.
you funny? Isn't this website supposed to be funny?
i am funny, you just need to read things a bit s l
o w e r so you can understand it. only bits of this
site are meant to be funny... can you guess which ones?
So I got
to thinking... What amount (as an approximate percentage) is sex
a key factor in believing we're in love? Is it solely our unbelievable
desire to procreate that causes us to enter into relationships?
So, given the process of natural selection, we look for the best
looking and "strongest" partner so we have attractive,
strong and, hopefully, successful offspring. But not all of us
get this, as much as I would love to procreate with Natalie Portman,
I guess she has bigger fish to fry (so to speak). For this reason,
we just find somebody, someone as close as we can possibly get.
Because we're settling we end up miserable and it's the increase
in "teen idols" that's leading to higher expectations
and an increase in divorce rates. I think you're right, friends
are better, they don't expect you to call the next day. Wouldn't
it be great if you could have places like gyms where if you fancy
a "workout" you could hire a room with another individual
who wants to "workout" and "workout" together
as both a fitness and social event? So if anyone wants to hire
a room and workout, just say so. Are you willing to be my pimp,
DC? - Mzebonga
sure, i'll pimp your sorry ass out... anyone wanna buy mzebonga
for 5 bucks an hour? i'll throw in the whipped cream for
I was wondering if you could remove all Emus and Pelicans from
this world as I believe that they have no use whatsoever and I
become quite irate when they appear on my Great British television.
They all smell, every last one of them!!! (the animals, not the
televisions) From the Shifty Coconana in the sky.
pelicans are indeed useful as they gather up fish in
their cool pouches/beaks. i will just prevent people from
putting them on your tv. in fact, send me your tv so i can
rid it of all 'evils'. as for emu's, ever since one started
following me around and the emu government did nothing, well i
fully support any program to stop those foul birds... if that's
even what they are.
wash? Shifty Coconana
yes, once a year if i need it or not
really did shoot JFK?
no one. it was all just an elaborate plan to
confuse the public and stop JFK from going to the moon to plant
you prefer more? the term hooters, tiggo bitties, coconuts, ta
ta's, breasts, titties, or squishy squishy flesh mounds.
hmmm... hooters sounds dumb, tiggo bitties i've never heard before,
coconuts sometimes apply, breasts are when you're just talking
about them instead of admiring, titties sounds too highschool,
and that last one is just plain silly. i use whatever words
seem to apply at that moment... i guess i'd go with breasts.
so many people have the last name Smith?
because lots of smiths are breeding... i know of two
smith families. that and i suppose the whole 'smith' legacy
of bananas... everyone wants to be a smith.
bananas are in a banana bunch?
about 14. sometimes they grow on trees.
farts and makes everyone in the room have to evacuate how do you
get the refreshing smell into a perfume bottle?
have them fart into a bottle next time.
If an apple
is eaten how many grape fruit can be tossed into a banana bunch
4 on a really good day... 2 on a bad day. 12 if you're
in alaska on a tuesday.
you tell the difference between a snort and a grunt if one tries
to look like a smith?
the taste is slightly different... and the color won't
last as long in the sun
tell me what a good book to read in the bathroom is?
i've found that the Red Dwarf books are good while
pinching off a few... as well as anything by Douglas Adams because
he is so wonderfully insane. Lately i've been reading about
'many worlds' theories in a Discover Magazine.
there no square mile on land without a person with the name smith?
sure there is... i would think that somewhere... SOMEWHERE
up the articic there is ONE square mile withone someone named
smith... how about you pay me to go find out?
the wombat eat my pants?
well when you leave tasty pants like that out, what
the hell did you expect... and uh... i ate them
all those cartoons on tv makes one crazy, what does understanding
all the sitcoms do? Is it insane or just plain pathetic? -DS
if someone out there understands all the sitcoms, then i would
like to personally kick their ass. i've been watching some
sitcoms and have found myself yelling at them so much for their
stupidity that i have had to refrain from watching them at all
really are imaginary, who's been doing my laundry all these years
probably my mother... she seems to do everyone's laundry
at some point or another... just tell her NO in a firm voice.
as for that whole jackalope thing... well that's classified.
truly are the smartest creatures on earth then comes dolphins,
then finally humans, and cats will someday rule the computer that
will give us an explanation to 42... where do sock monkeys fit
sock monkeys are free roaming creatures who don't wish
to be categorized with any of earth's creatures. the cats
are rulers of way more then the mice. earth is just a small
percentage of what's out there... the cats will take over when
they can free up more resources.
and Y=Mongoose then who invented the whoopie cushion? I bet it
was you, wasn't it? Shifty Coconana.
no... sadly enough it was invented instead by a Mr.
Whoopie of the Fat Ass Corporation. rumor has it that they
used to be made from goat stomaches.
can i really
buy mzebonga for $5... and if so would that require i feed and
shelter it? cause im just looking for cheap slave labor
only 5 bucks... no shelter, just some food and water....
be sure to give it regular beatings, but not to the point of death
or it will be added to your bill.
a good place to find bongs
stranger is a place in toronto that sells them... and while
you're there, pick up a copy of waydowntown the movie.
i go to find some good sock monkey porn.. none of this amatuer
stuff.. but real sock monkey porn?
i would tell you, but then you'd probably be kidnapped
by the sock monkey porn police, forced to reveal where it can
be found, and then i wouldn't be able download all the sock monkey
porn i want, and my part-time job as a porn extra will be cut.
people feel it is their obligation to give me their opinion, when
it is obvious that i neither care about it or want to hear it?
that is a question i ask every day... so far the only answers
i have received are "Whales." "Red Sweater"
and "Shut Up"
good offers for me recently? I've got to be worth more than five
bucks. - Mzebonga
so far five bucks is it... now get back in your cage
bitch until it's feedin time
nothing wrong with emus,useless animals would be rabbits because
they breed to much?
breeding is overrated. in fact i think a stop
to all this breeding should fix up a few problems with humanity.
all those who wish to breed are now required to send me the proper
documents pleading their case.
boom time be fun again?Sally
yes... yes it can... can i film it? usually that
puts the spark right back in any relationship
less, hope more whine less, breathe more talk less, say more hate
less, love more
that isn't a question, and quite frankly, without anything
about fish and peanut butter, i can't take any of it seriously
sometimes... other times you just get so out of it
that you disappear into another reality.
to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken
true. just like how if you give someone free
will, that means you're giving them the right to choose wrong.
Is the entire sum of existence the
magic of being needed by just one other person?
i would hope not
I get bored easily? Sally
because of your caffeine addiction, the sugar you claim
to be 'just friends' with, and of course, the absence of my tail
for you to rub
like breasts then?
some of them... others are just not meant for viewing.
sex always on the minds of guys damn it?
i think that it's just the lonely 'i'm only online
because i can't hit on people in real life' crowd that you're
a question where someone asked is it okay to fall in love with
yourself and you replied there is no one else who will know how
to satisfy you as good as you do, the question is can you satisfy
me as good I can?
no i can't, but the only way to prove that is to have sex with
me and my sock monkey friends for a few days.
to the doughboy?
i'm not sure... i didn't get any memos on it.
somebody send me a memo on it.
do us all a big favour? Fuck SAnimal off so you own and run the
site.We hate SAnimal.
yes, sanimal sucks, but sanimal doesn't own the site,
JCP does. since i am an accomidating sock monkey though,
and since i like to bring joy to those who have none, i will attempt
to kill him in order to please you all.
well it's been a bit quieter lately... i think they're
away or something. their stupid dog still barks... it's
name is abby. i hate abby. abby should shut up.
your website privledges?
i get to browse almost any webpage i want! i
click and more pictures keep appearing with more words.
when i am bad, my mouse is taken away.
have a party at your house? Sally
maybe next weekend... i'm busy
Dr Pepper awful?
i think it has something to do with the migrating pattern
with dreaming? Sally
nothing is wrong with dreaming unless you're one of
those people who remember all their dreams, and they have about
2 or 3 dreams every night and every day they wake up feeling like
they haven't slept at all because of the stupid dreams
I shot JFK 2 years after the so called "assassination"
while he was sleeping. Anyway, how have you been to that totem
pole floating in a pool of jello in New York recently? I hear
they put christmas lights on it.
no i haven't, but now that there are lights... you
bet my fluffy ass i'll be going....