- Where insanity runs rampant!
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: July 2004 Results

What if some guy with a whole lot of missing teeth started following
you around and calling you "Gar"?

That reminds me of someone... Either it's already happened to me, or I'm deluded again.- M. Mort

He'd be my friend and I would buy him a drink and a straw. And a big hat.- Mzebonga

i would say gle- granny

Are you saying there's something wrong with following people around and calling them "Gar"? That's, like, the only thing to do in this stinking town! It's not like any of the hookers are any good! And they don't allow flashing at the public pool! (Boy, were they ever crabby about that. I didn't hear the nuns complaining, though.) *sigh* Okay, maybe I can cut back to only doing it 3 days of the week. But I'll have to do it twice as hard if I'm going to make my "Gar"-ing quota.- Indomitus

i'd put him on a leash and claim him to be my pet donkey. i will name him Stooge. he will help me liberate things.with our stapler, we'll take over the world. we'll make everybody dress up like strawberries and eat cornfalkes and build their homes out of corn flakes and pave their streets with cornflakes and make their underwear out of cornflakes and be strawberries and burn things with fire.if anybody tries to hurt them, they can just catapult their strawberrie self out the window of their cornflake home, which is really high because it is on a tree, and fall to their deaths. that way, we will have a safe society.- Morshada

i would do the peanut- pea nut guy

i would say...dude get some teeth you bush whacker..- stephano

I'd be like, 'hey, I know you want to follow me around and all that, but there's a time and a place for everything. This isn't the time to follow me, or the place to follow me, do you know why? Because I'm standing in a sewer and that means your inhaling a whole load of shit. Through that huge fucking whole in your face.'- totseloz

I invented the word Gar, seriously. Gar is an exclusive word used only by people with rancid, pungent, steamy breath. It's used for expressing their true anguish against the world for hating people with shit breath. I would have to automatically assume that this guy has some extreme shit munching problem, in which I would offer him a tic-tac. But if he's been stalking me for quiet some time, and is mimicking me, well then, I would just have to offer him a hot cup of shut the fuck up.- TheMatt

I'd turn around and say "gar-fucked-you"- UndeaD_SOul

Well I sure am lonley since ma pooch ran off. Hah, I dont live in the south where that shits common. He'd probably feel lost and see my suspenders as homely reminding him of his friend "GAR"... Which is a pretty ugly girl name if ya ask me. Well, since toothless man idiots dont come by often up here north... Id slap him up alot, ask him were his teeth are, Id really annoy the bugger play his game... with some brains would expect me to ignore him and take advantage of his poor puppy ways. Nah, It take him in my house, make sitcom gold... or well at least silver...It go something like this :"Gar, wuld you up toooo?" "Im bathing my monkey now go away and stop calling me GAR!" "Tats a wierd lookin monkey Garrr" "He was in a car accident, Now leave me alone I dont want to talk about it" "Oh Gar, Come on, I wanna Talk ta ya" "Go brush ur teeth and find your own monkey to bath" (Grabs a tooth brush and leaves to the zoo)time warp* (back from the the zoo with a ape and a shiny white tooth)"Oh, Youuuu" wow... This is priceless Sitcom material. "Lost Hick" starring Kellisa Fernet--as GAR and Hugh Jackman-- AS Guy with A whole lotta Teeth Missing. He'd be dressed up like wolverine the whole time by my orders and meanwhile talk like a hick... plus there would be alot of continuity flaws since I'd be bitchy and want to travel alot to Greenland then... Haiti.. Shit like that, so It would bomb, If It wasnt for me though it would be priceless... Go down in history as the friends replacement.- GargleSwallow

I would lock myself into a toilet cubicle. If he followed me into the cubicle I would shove his head down the toilet and stamp it down. I would be about to pull the flush when someone bursts into the toilet, smashing down the door, and frees the guy from the toilet. The person that saved him looks identical to me and said that his name was 'Gary'. He explained that the guy follows him constantly and that it was the guys birthday tommorow. When he see me he tricked the guy into thinking I was him so he could sneak off and buy the teeth. Gary apologised and gave me a glass hammer for my troubles. The guy punched me in the face for shoving his head down the toilet.- Fredward

Ah, acts to keep my past indentity would prove futile... Yes my real nmae is garfield...... and he would be everyone I knew in my past life but how..- QuicklyMasterIsAwaiting

Muahahahahaa...I am Gar. I would make him my slave by giving him some teeth and making him 'owe me one.' Of course, he would be my slave, because I would keep wiping out his memory after each job he did for me.- InstantOatmeal

id hug him- X

Well, OK, but how much do you charge, and is it hourly?- wILLies

I'd wonder why an american hill-billy was walking around nottingham england.- cyberwaste

I think that happened to my dad last time we went to buy a christmas tree? I don't know if he called him "Gar"..we think he worked at the christmas tree lot, although he mighta been homeless and crazy cuz he had that look about him, not all his teeth.. he kept following us around the lot and every time we'd attempt to select a tree he'd shove us out of the way to pick it up and bang it on the ground a few times for us..people buying trees always do that, I don't know why..but really, he wouldn't leave us alone, I think finally he got distracted with someone else trying to pick out a tree so we took that opportunity to sprint to the car. Have you seen him around? Has he been calling you "Gar"?- FartMonkey

I would help him lose some more and if he decided to retun a favor I would tell him I was late to an important business meeting and run away screaming for help.- Such a Beautiful Bitch

id keep turning around and shouting "FIELD" as in 'Garfield'.- Keli-Weli


i would squeeze his balls untill he says AR- plank

I would respond and act like we were old chums. Chances are, we are anyways- TheCady

I would play along with it and claim to be "Gar".- BoB_D_Mouse

Is this going to be in the test?- Sven the Masseur

i would call the cops- seamonkey

I'd be like hey Gar2. You be cool Gar2. I like you Gar2. Gar2, do you wanna play golf, or hop scotch, or doctors and nurses under the bed sheets Gar2? Yeh, cool answer Gar2. You be cool Gar2- Planque

I'd take his teeth off of my necklace and tell him that the evil gnomes made me take them.- Hayz

I would bite a pice of cheese while yelling "This is your nose if you dont stop following me pedifile!" and continue eating the cheese. ~Cheese is good!~- Kino

FOLLOWING ME? how long has he been following me? does he know......did THEY send much do THEY know?? SHIT!!!! THEY KNOW!!!! i have to kill HIM or THEY will find me.......- MAG

I would get pissed and punch the rest of his teeth out- alisonwunderland

I'd ask him if I bought him a set of Dentures, if he would stop. If he said no, I'd roll him off a cliff. If he said yes, i'd throw the dentures over the cliff, resulting in him chasing them off a cliff :)- Hufflebunny

adress the situation by making him completely toothless!- james

I'd ask him if he wanted a hug.- TommyTheCat

try to fix him up with a blind woman- jumpen jones

i'd kick him in the balls, hoping that they'd fall out just like his teeth did!- la femme cinema

I would take off my shoe and hit him round the head with it, then run around him laughing while slapping his face.- hewardtinkleberry

Id say excuse me but why are you following me? The he'd scream GAR. and Id be like no no no Hubert my name is not GAR. He'd then smile at me and Id smile back and offer him my hand. He'd take it and we'd go frolick in the meadows with the flowers- monkeeskittles

I'd give him candy corn and we'd pretend it's his teeth. Edible teeth! He could stick it in his gums and eat it whenever he needed a sugar rush. Ingenius! I oughta patent this.- McDiablo

I would laugh at him, then turn around and run.- samiwhami

that would be kewl- megica

i would beet the crap out of him- faye

i would call him 'field', then we'd be 'Gar' and 'field!!!!!! And we'd have a kid named Ody!!! - poothrower

Id shine my pearly whites at him and punch him in the face- Im Coming For You


whoa that happened to my physics teacher, only he was the one missing teeth and our class were the ones calling him gar- pine tree

I'd ask him what Gar meant? since i have no idea what it means.- AbortMe

I'd be forced to run because he knows my secret identity from my days as a pirate. He probably wants the dubloons I 'borrowed' from him all those years ago. Rats. Foiled again. And now you know my secret so I'll be forced to kill you and start a new life in Canada. No, I can't be forced into that again...- ferretchick

I'd play along and start calling him "Car" and he'd be my best friend. I could use the company.- Staticca

You must have seen me with my dad the other day- cocoplops

Well, that's my grandfather for you. S'ept he calles me Topher, not gar, but if he tried pulln' a Gar on me, I'd have to shove an ear of corn up his ass.- me

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