What if you woke up one day to find youself in a dumpster?

I'd get out I'd have a shower and find out the mystery of how I got in the dumpster.- Sally

How did you know about that?! It was YOU that did it, wasn't it!!? How could you? <sobs> I thought I could trust you?! <assumes fetal position>- CasualFatality

I'd have to say what I normally say..."Is it Tuesday already?"- weirdDAR

I would wonder why I was in a dumpster for a minute then stop wasting time and do 2 things: 1) find some old salad to throw back at you and 2) look for clues about where to find the pink elephants as im sure that they were the ones who would leave me there.- boing!boing!SPLAT

I would have a good laugh and then kill whoever put me there.- dick

Id go back to sleep So I could see what would happen next- Igor

i'd b dazed and confused....and smelly- lucky

I would probably think I was drugged and raped. - Star

i'd drill little holes in the sides and poke used newspaper through until somebody noticed. and if they didn't notice i would live on the newspaper forever, as a landfill inhabitant- nobody_particular

Bye bye.- Caty

I would wonder why I was in the dumpster. Then I would wonder as to why the bum that sits outside my apartment is dry humping my left shoulder. I'd then kick at the bum till he stopped and return home to my salad filled bed.- Anthrax.Boy

I would laugh and eat raw chicken.- Neoaikon

Sounds like your average day to me...- Mzebonga

wonder...alot...then I'd probably bathe in the garbage goodness..- SG*

I'd get up and shower.- ErinP.

Id look around for any goodies before crawling out and finding the nearest shower- Smarm

i'd get out of the dumpster and go home- timmy d

MOVING ON UP!- the voodoo bunny

i would still have nightmares for the rest of my life.- tiff

I would wonder what I did prior to getting there.- Queen

Realise that the beer goggles were probably slightly overeffective, put my dick back in my pants, go home, and pretend it never happened.- drunkennewfiemidget

I would be like dude..what the freakin hell. Who threw out that bag of chips?- ver

I WOULD THINK IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME REALLY GOOD SHIT .- DOWNSTAIRS

i would go and ask the dogs what i should do- elephant poo

I would immediately set to work on finding all the disgusting leftover-food crap in the dumpster, putting them in nice, individual plastic baggies, and taking them home with me to mail to all my lovely relatives. - Okami Red

those responsible shall live forever!- Airetaari

Sweet deal! Everything you need to get along is in dumpsters. Some jerks even throw out moldy cheese. I mean wtf? So yeah, I'd take my sweet time rummaging through its contents, collecting morsels of food, unshredded bills sporting enough information to take over someone's credit card, old clothes or blankets, cardboard boxes(the poor man's mobile home), and sometimes even actual money. Bags of yard clippings can be used to keep warm in the cold months; especially if they've been in there a while and they're in the early stages of decomposition. Anything else can be used to keep a bonfire going. (Fun Bonus Dumpster Tip: Move your dumpster from where it is. Dig a deep hole slightly smaller than the bottom, and then cut the bottom of the dumpster out. Then put your dumpster back in its original positon, directly over the hole. No more worrying about filling it up too fast and then having to wait for the garbage men to come!)- FartMonkey

i'd know that everything i saw became true..then..i'd just turn aroung and go on sleeping..- soi

than i would go back to sleep- untouchablelexus

holy shit, how did you know???? Dammit I thought no one saw that....It wasnt my fault, I wasn't there, I wasn't drinking.....that's my story and I'm sticking to it.- harbingerofhell

i would go back to sleep.- craphead

I would find a very horny homeless man and make him take me home.- rerun

That's how i wake up everyday.- draven

I would roll over and pee in the corner then look for something to eat, like a cheeseburger or a vomit pizza.- Jack_the_Ripper

i'd remind myself never to get my dope from THAT guy again.- mmmbop

i'd wonder how i fell asleep in the first place...then from my then present surroundings i would find a good breakfast and later venture out for the public showers that they have at beaches.- JAG

Ii would find a large black marker and label the dumpster "MINE" and if any body got close to it, I would hop around frantically screeching at them, and if they still didn't leave i would throw poo at them. - freak_ninja

the previous night would have involved lots of squirrel chasing and frog squishing, most likley would of been in new york and i caught up with uncle francis in that alley were he owns a giant outside business with bottles for employes.. it actually works better then u think.. yup hed tuck me into most the stuffed and deepest dumpster next to a wonderful salsa smelly italian restaurant.. awww!i miss unky francis- ChocolateInnerds

id go 'hey, it appears that i am in a dumpster'- dani

I would say "hello" to the homeless guy in the bin and thank him for letting me sleep in his house, then I would be on my merry way!- RealmO

I would freak out first, then start looking through the trash bags to see if anyone threw away any yummy leftovers. Or CD's.- tinkerbelll

I'd fucking freak out. That would be creepy.- sophia

i would go home and check my bed, if it was empty, i would sigh the greatest sigh....- eva psychotic

dosent that happen to me everyday- cooter

already have. went home.- supermandave

I'd be like, "Whoooaaahh...." then start sifting through the trash bags to see if anyone threw away any yummy leftovers. Heh heh.- tinkerbelll

I'd probably think, 'Well, this certainly beats the trash compactor.'- McDiablo

scream and say eew if it was gross and then get out and be like oh my gosh whats going on this is so kewl and wonder if i was messed up on something...- Giytuen

I would most likely go rob a bank. Then, if successful, I could run like hell and live a life of luxury for a few years before running out of money and realising I should've started a busness with it to keep it flowing. If I got caught, I'd go to prison, which is better than living in a dumpster anyway. So, in conclusion, waking up in a dumpster is a win-win situation. Remember that the next time your parents tell you to straighten up and fly right, kids.- Gibbo

i'd say "whee! I'm in a dumpster!"- chill one

I'd stay there, and lead small children to my path.- SKYofStLuke

i'd get out, assess the situation, and then fall asleep again, this time waking up next to the dumpster, and then i'll repeat until I'm back in my bed again- Delisa

It's better then the street, softer anyway, And I lived in Commerce City Colorado Them smell would be an improvement. - behope

SWEET, finally my own palace, my own palace of grundge, muahahahahahahahaha..........then i'd smack my head on the lid knocking myself out and i would die, all alone- shwee

i dono.- BuRnInG

I would think I was home at last- bluemonkeyfearer

Eureka... i always knew i will be part of the crew of insanedomain one day. eureka. eureka. stop sniffing now. - SJ

i'd go on a killing spree, including only people i dont recognize.- Billy

i would be like o god musta been one hell of a damn good party.- Esha

Are you breaking up with me?- Mzebonga

I only do that on bank holiday weekends- another one

Slight unexpected surprise, YAWN!, sniff, choke, *ooooo* begin breathing with mouth, Turn over and cuddle up to a garbage bag(most fattest and softest), *mm mm mm* *nooo i dont wanna get up* *ROWR* *PURRR* *smack* *smack* take up a fight with a cat trying to invade my territory, Claim victoreously greater, throwing a mangled cat out of my dumpster,YAWN!, begin wondering how i got in the dumpster and where was i, YAWN!, fall alsleep, Wake up a .. few minutes later to ten cat butts on my face and 100 others in the dumpster with me and the cat i beat up sitting on the rim of the dumpster staring... glaring at me in a mini cast, LAUGHING! LICKING HIS CHOPS! NARROWING HIS EYES! Thats not "what if", it happened! i was in ireland and got in a fight with a transfistite after i squeezed her crotch and the inevitable happened I got chucked in a dumpster and they stole all my mints and then got scrabed to near death by cats...- I have Cake in My Pockets

I'd wake up and go back to my place and ask which one of those fucks did that too me...and then wait till they go to sleep and throw them in a sewer....that'd suck to wake up knee deep in SHIT- FeFe

I would be annoyed as I would have left my toothbrush at home, which would rapidly be converted to evil by my shampoo bottle, take over the world and ban all banana flavoured snapple, a most shameful of deeds.- Evil Muffin

i would get scared and cry.- me

My mom was a few years late...- Syko

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