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: August 2004 Results

What if you were given two wishes by a crazy dolphin that had a purple tail?

for wish one id wish id have wqings, so i could fly to the moon and back a piece of it so that i could prove to everyone it wasnt made of cheese,but of margarine! and for the 2nd wish id wish that the magical dolphins tail shud change colour, to yellow.(cos everyone hu likes purple is gona h8 yellow!right?!)- keli_x_james...IM BACK!

I would throw the large joint I was smoking in the trash, because there are no purple tailed dolphins.- Char

first id ask for a squillion quid, then ask for a harpoon- dark-angel

Well, I'd probably ask for a million more wishes, but thats against the rules, and the dolphin would slap me with his purple tail. I'd probably wish for a sock monkey porn T-shirt, and cookies for JCP. =)- Hufflebunny

I'd stop taking LSD.- Mzebonga

that the dolphin would always be mine and that its wishes would only be granted for my own good.- LivingDeadDolls_Ruler

oooh...puuurple...well, my first wish would be for Mzebonga to do sock monkey porn shoots. my second wish would be to frolick in the sea with the crazy dolphin.- lafemmecinema

If I was allowed to wish for more wishes; I would wish for more wishes with my first wish. Then I would have a never ending supply of wishes. If I wasn't allowed to wish for more wishes; I would wish that I WAS allowed to wish for more wishes with my first wish, then wish for more wishes with the second wish.- Fredward

I'd wish for more wishes I'd wish for the end of all crazy dolphins - Jay

I would scream very loudly at the thought of a crazy dolphin with a purple tail then proceed to make a wish that Luke would be mine.- saz

I would be too mesmerized by the shiny tail. I would simply stare deeply into it's shiny , reflective , tail untill it said " fuck it" and swam off to give some other guy a couple more wishes. Damnb scammn' dolphin, letting you think you havea chance at two wishes, but who can concentrate when such a thing is right in front of you?-me

I'd wish first to know everything, but then I'd hate it cause there would be no point to anything, then wish it all away and go back to my lighter collection.- InstantOatmeal

i would wish that his tail was orange... and my last wish would be that i had a pile of poo to throw at my pet monkey- hair

Awsome. Aren't dolphins a purply colour anyway? I would in that case capture the dolphin and either put it on show for lots of money, or make the best damn sushi in the world.- M. Mort

money and sexy women all the way. No point wasting a good wish on things like world peace, it'd just get ruined.- deadbadger

Depends. Would the crazy dolphin be giving me two specific wishes, or would I get to choose my own two wishes to be granted? If the latter, then I would wish for a light green tail. The "light green" is only secondary to the "tail" bit because I don't even have ANY tail yet! Anyway [furtively glances sideways before going on] I wouldn't use the other wish because it would just be WAY too predictable.- Sven the Masseur the dolphin a genie dolphin? - loise

1) a neverending bag of turnips (I'm hungry) 2) the purple tail. Take that stupid dolphin.- Fish

I'd wish for a purple tail and another crazy dolphin but with a green tail.- Lekkerkaas

well if he was crazy i would highly question the authenticness of these "two wishes", crazy mammals tell me alot of things some which I have come to find arnt so true, like for instance; My skin is a transportation devise for people from the future... I waited with this man for eight weeks and not one human popped out then he sped off after some banana which was to quick for me to see and he was pretty fast himself Soooo instead... i got to steal those nail clipping he always wouldnt let me touch, HAHA! look who got them now man in the purple hat! * admires and pets the nail clipping in a mini gold treasure box* and there was another time a hamster that was blue and was wearing a yellow dress and lipstick asked me to be her date to the ball.. I explained to her I was a girl so i couldn't but then she explained that she was a lesbain.. so i was like oh Ok... but I waited alll night long and she didnt come to pick me up..she didnt show... *cries* Ahem, we'll I dont know if she was crazy or not but we'll it hurt alot... I cant really stop thinking about it.. *sniff* Anyways Id do these wishes by pulling the old I wish For a thousand more wishes then proceed to waste them away with avengance on the hamster...making my skin a transportation device for people from the future, a really awesome soy smoothie, on...umm..soo on..lalalalala. That would be the testing of the autenticity i spose... or even better I would give them to one of those marine biologist and ask her to see if it was the real purple tailed dolphin wishes. Yeah, that'll be it.- GarglingSwallow~~

I would wish for a flying cabbage then I would wish for a magic ring that would give me a million more wishes and enable me to understand unanimate objects then I would kidnap the dolphin and drain its blood.- Kali

i would wish for a fish that was magic,nd use it as a sword while using my clothes an expert shield,and then threaton the dolphin so he would give me more wishes,then i would wish for a blanket and chuck it over the dolphin and kidnap him,he would then give me all the wishes i could ask for and i would take over the world mwah ha ha- what

Id first wish for this so called dolphin to have a normal 2 finned dolphin tail as he probably feels like a bit of an outcast with a bright purple tail, thats just odd. I dont know what else to wish for, im perfect :P WORLD PEACE!!- Mike

I'd ask... 1. Dye your tail blue. Purple sucks. 2. Give me beef jerkey.- L0S3R

I would tell the dolphin that I did not believe he could grant any wishes because if he could how could he possibly still have a purple tail! Next I would have to report him to the trading standards department for short changing me on the number of wishes. Is he saving one of the wishes to sell on ebay???- mennisthedennis

well i suppose i would have to start by wishing for an extra strand of hair. i have often wondered how much difference it would make to the normal life i lead as a five eyed freak at the circus. my second wish would then be to be able to meet a 6 foot midget and get his autograph for being the tallest midget in the world. as for the purple tailed dolphin i would whip out the can of paint i keep hidden behind my glasses specially made for my eye last but one from the top (my eyes are in a line vertically rather than horizontally) and paint the rest of his body green to match his purple tail. - nelly welly noggin

umm i would take the pot out of my mouth and eat some fritos - slim jonn

i would wish all the other dolphins were crazy and had a purple tail too so they wouldn't pick on this one jsut because he was different, kinda like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, except minus the red nose issues and them all bein reindeers and the sleigh-pullin and crap...then i would wish that i was a crazy dolphin with a purple tail, so i could be accepted into the community of the dolphins and and be new, hip, and trendy, then i could slap Brittney Spears in the face with my tail, and knock her into the water adn she'd drown and never be heard from again!! yea!!- heyasshole!

i would wish for all the money in the world then a i would wish for a couple of condoms.- MarcoPolo

First I would wish I could run at 100mph, the nI would run away because i'm scared of dolphins.- CJ

I would interrogate it to figure out how it managed to get wish-granting powers and then go get my own lovely wishy powers and then I wouldn't need its stupid measly two wishes.- bluemonkeyfearer

I don't know.- SockMunkai

I would wish that all dolphins were crazy with a purple tail, and then I would wish to fly.- Trepas

Firstly, I'd be pissed off. I mean, who is the dolphin trying to impress with the purple tail? No one, that's who. Secondly, where the hell is my third wish? Damn fucking dolphins. Why don't they just leave already? So long and choke on all the fish bastards.- spankmonkey

I would freak out and scream- Person Person

I'd wish his tail blue, to match my balls. And then i'd wish for a 5 foot rooster, so i could say i have a big "cock". -cack-n-bulls-

i would wish for an elephant and a t-shirt.- roxy

I'd wish for millions of additional wishes, since you didn't specify that I couldn't. I was going to say that then I'd sell them, but people would probably wish for stupid things, so instead I'd have people come to me and request their wish, and if it was acceptable I'd wish it for them..for a price. Bwahahah- FartMonkey

I'd wish for the creators of "Teletubbies" to be beaten with an ugly stick. I mean, come on, it's so obvious that this poor dolphin was attacked by Tinky Winky. His victims are always temporarily stained with purple. I'd then wish for a year's supply of the dolphin's fish of choice. It's all about cheering that poor crazed dolphin up.- McDiablo

I'ld kill him, cut off his tale and mount it on my wall as any native Texan would.- Jackie

I would wish to have this chick danielle in my school to be my endless ammounts of energy sex pupet untill i died. and for my second wish i would wish to never die :D- Mac

I'd wish that he'd mount a saddle to him self, being that purple is my favorite color and I would want to ride him. I can't mount the saddle myself, cause dolphins are slippery. Then I'd ask him to capture Osama bin Laden and put him in a cage in my garage. The neighborhood women keep bitching about only sleeping with me. Little variation, ya know?- unfor2n8

I'd have to use my first wish to wish for a magical sword that could kill purple tailed dolphins, then I'd use my second wish to wish that he was paralyzed, making it easier to kill him, after all purple dolphin tail is worth a freakin fortune on the black market. Now I know you're thinking that I should have just wished for the fortune, but I believe a man should work for his money damnit.- ArchbishopShaggy

I'd wish to be rid of my addicition to LSD- Mzebonga

First of all, Id wish for an intelligent president to run this shit hole country. Some one who can write his own speeches and doesnt get drunk and fall off the couch while choking on a pretzle and knock himself out with the coffee table. Second, Id wish for an awful death to fall onto that Advil Labeandip "singer" chick, Conan OBrian and Titney Drears Then I could live happy and frolick among the daisies- monkeeskittles

I'd wish to sit on that crazy tail! and then to own it! bwahaha! - SG*

1. More wishes (You never said I couldn't) 2. More crazy dolphins with purple tails Lather, rinse, repeat. Then I can have all the wishes I want! Mwa ha ha ha haaa!- Me

First, I'd wish that I would never need to wish. That way I could hold on to the second wish for as long as I wanted.- j0eg0d

World Peace and Erradication of Disease- Mona (cross dresser exceptional')

Who needs them? All my wishes have already come true . . . - Fish

i would wish for a crane and to be deserted on a island 200 miles from anywhere and that is where i would turn the crane into a ship with my bare hands, then i would go out to sea and jump onto the back of a killer shark ang ride around the world trying to find the dolphin so i could let the killer shark eat it and then i would let the shark eat me so that i would die!- madma


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