One time, about two years ago a bottle of 1000 island dressing fell from my nightstand and hit me in the face. Since, I got a cat which also attacks me while I sleep.-Toast

Yes i was attacked by a lap dancing sock monkey. It was traumatizing and now i have ptsd -Kandy gurl

I haven't been attacked by a salad dressing but my chemistry textbook tries to knaw on my feet sometimes.-Xifihas

I have always an addmittedly unfounded suspcious view of salad dressing. I had successfuly resisted it's zesty charms for well over a decade until my thirteenth birthday. "The day you finally become a man" they told me, "is the day you allow salad dressing into your heart". Never doing things half arsed I decided to embrace it, even with the little things that get stuck in your teeth. I drank a bottle of the Newman juice and immediatly vomited everywhere. I will never trust again.-Nelson

yes -Gino

Yes, it was quite scary. The potato salad went bad, and convinced the dressing to be an accomplice. Luckily, the ketchup was strong enough to resist the temptations of a rewarding life of crime. Well, technically the ketchup was turned down. Honestly, who asks for health care benefits anymore?-Mysterious Okra

Yes. I hate you, Catalina!-PENGUINS EAT MAMMA JAMMAS!

I was attacked by a sloth. It took about 5 months to get to me, but once it finally did, it only took about 2 weeks for it to eat all my hair.-French Cheese

yes, my blankets-thefinginsane