Results for June 2009
Awards given out by JCP


What if snakes came to your house, rang the doorbell and
demanded you rent them a closet to coil up in for a few weeks?


That would be fine as long as they don't bother me plus how can a snake ring a doorbell???- sally

Good Answer Awardopen the door , let my dog nibble it's tail(does it have a tail) and send it to the closet with mothballs. It's probably laying eggs. So i'll let it be. Let it reproduce and how did it ring my doorbell again? Wait,it has a tail afterall. right anyways, i'll send you one of the eggs, keep one. I'm hoping that the snake is very fertile and has twins.

sure- k

I would demand they follow me and obey my orders for a few weeks as payment. I'm not getting taken advantage of by something with no arms.- Smiley Jones

Set my house on fire. Simple, violent and satisfying. That is, until I realize that it was just a box and I didn't need to go to so much effort. I need to lay off the cheap wine.- Arthur, King of the Britons

Good Answer AwardI'm fairly certain that I am lacking both a doorbell and closet space. Perhaps I would point them in the direction of Texas and the home of my filthy-rich great aunt. I would hope that they were venomous as well. She wouldn't be able to refuse, and maybe then SOMEONE would benefit from her masses of money, since I'll never see a dime of it. She seems to hate me, you see, due to the fact that I made a sandwich for my little brother when I was twelve.- bluemonkeyfearer

Ask them to make an offer- Bugster

Impossible. St. Patrick banished all snakes from Ireland.- poohole_gasleak

Well, I like snakes. They want to pay me for a closet, why not? Sure. And if anyone decided to piss me during those particular weeks, I'm sure giving that closet a bit of rattling and then throwing them in there would be a great way to get rid of their annoyingness.-

I'd lead them right in. Snake is a delicacy in many eastern asian countries, and I've always wanted to try it, so hopefully they are big snakes because then I won't have to buy meat for like a week!! - If I only had a navel....

Good Answer AwardYou know the Good Samaritan thing can only go so far, and besides that extends only to humans, and cuddly pet creatures. Why my house? They're already in my barn, wreacking terror on me, so now they want my house do they? Yeah? Well, if they insist I would drug them in the night, tie them in a snakey bundle and throw them ... somewhere far away.- bottled dragons

I would tell him go fuck yourself then tell myself I just smoke some good shit.- pinky7

Good Answer AwardOkay first of all, if we're going to be cohabitating for a few weeks these snakes need to learn some manners. Just waltzing up to my door (okay slithering) and demanding things from me is not polite. I would explain this to the snakes, and the result would hopefully be that the snakes would apologize and I would graciously accept and then we could begin a merry friendship and I'd allow the snakes to rent my closet. Except what would probably end up happening is the snakes would get pissed that I would insult their manners and they would attack me and I'd die and then they'd live in my closet rent free.- narcoticsunshine

depends on how much $$$$- Zayla

Let them in but make sure they dont touch my...stuff.- Xifihas


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