Results for January 2009
Awards given out by JCP


What if eggs broke into your home and threw themselves at your face while you slept?



Don't they call that breakfast in bed?- Pizzatopping

Good Answer Awardthat'd be awesome.I'd be thanking the heavens it's not stones.Like in those really holy movies where you'd get stoned cause you sin?Cause...personally buddy*whispers*i've been very naughty.- banana-less

Good Answer Awardclever eggs. I like it. What 'they' don't know is that i have a frying pan under my pillow all the time(what?I'm paranoid it'd get stolen ok?!).And my seemingly harmless alarm clock has a flamethrower(yes.For robbers.Pepper spray is too commercial)& best yet i can hear eggs movements. So the plan is probably to while they are moving at matrix slow-mo speed at my face , i will whip out the pan on the alarm clock and i have a great supper breakfast thingy. I like eggs fried sunny side up. but omlettes are pretty good since there's a lot of supplies.- frozen capsicums

I'd mix them with a little milk, scramble them and have a nice breakfast. Then I'd fix the window or door they broke to get into my house.- Linnie

Good Answer AwardI would wipe my face off with a napkin and shit in the napkin afterward to show them who's boss. You can't take any guff from uppity eggs.- The Reverend Cornelius Spunkwater

I WOULD EAT THEM!- forgotten name

Good Answer AwardAre they raw eggs or hard boiled eggs? I think that makes a significant difference. Have you ever pelted someone with a hard boiled egg before? It hurts. And right in my face? I would jump out of bed and karate chop around my room trying to kill whoever threw the goddamn eggs at me. But since no one would be there I would feel like an idiot, think I imagined the whole thing and go back to sleep. If it was just raw eggs I probably wouldn't even wake up, and if I did I'd just think that I had a nose bleed or something and go back to sleep.- narcoticsunshine

Good Answer AwardI'd think, 'OH MY GAUNCH, SALMONELLA COMETH!' and run to the hospital (apparently, I wouldn't drive myself there--sure). I would then be booked in the psych ward because, obviously, eggs do not break into homes or lunge themselves at people's faces. Finally! An excuse to be admitted to the psych ward! The only bad thing about that place are the fish cakes. I mean, you can walk around pantless and nobody cares. Or, if they do care, they put you in the padded room. It's a modern day utopia!- McDiablo

I'd fry them and eat them.- Madk


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