Results for February 2009
Awards given out by JCP


Which animal in the zoo would you like to be, other than human - and do you think you would be able to mate in captivity?



Id be the animal no one gives a shit about, as for breeding if no one wants to see my whats the point, id just be doin that shit for fun- Monoxboogie

i want to be a zebra. no reason why but i like black and white. i think mating in captivity is cool.i'd probably camouflage or i'd end up as porn at some website for animal fetish. - rock cookies

I'd like to be a meerkat because they seem to be animals that have the most fun. As for mating in captivity, I'd have to assess that on the same basis as my chances of mating as a human being: generally quite poor.- Mzebonga

Good Answer AwardProbably a monkey or chimpanzee...cause I could fling faeces and monkey fuck like 60 times a day...seems like a sweet life- Poptart

i would like to be a snake. and sure- cool kid

Zebra!!!!! Because they're stripey like me and crazy. I guess I could mate in captivity, but I don't want kids, don't wanna be tied down y'know?- oxie "fuck the wind" licious

A gecko.- Ashwinster

Naked mole rat. Already naked, aren't I.- Jefe

Good Answer AwardI'd be a lion so I could cause a real scene by roaring at things, then pass out in the sun for a few days. If I were a male lion, yes I could mate in captivity, but if I were a female, no.- Spanky the WONDERHORSE

In a zoo, i always wanted to be one of those platypus. it's so cool and cute. They have beaks and have beaver tails not to mention a very easy childbirth(eggs).Like me, they are totally messed up(physically i mean). i'd feel really honoured to get a beak .cause only cool animals have beaks. like ducks, they're kinda cool.(before they end up at some Chinese restaurant roasted or fried)I'm not quite sure how platypus mate but i know they lay eggs. if i had to mate in captivity then i think i'd be able to. unless the opposite sex finds me totally unattractive. then i'd just die of low self esteem as a really cool platypus. - frozen capsicums

Good Answer AwardI would be a rainbow hippo. They need not mate, for they always are and always shall be. That and the mating of a rainbow hippo would likely bring about the apocalypse. Don't ask too many questions.- The Reverend Cornelius Spunkwater

Good Answer AwardI would want to be a giant anteater. Seriously, have you seen their tails? They can cover themselves completely with it. It could be a giant shield from the sun or a fan when I'm hot and a blanket when I'm cold. I'm not really sure what anteater mating rituals are, so I'm not sure if I'd be able to mate in captivity. I just looked it up and apparently the girl just has to lie there. I could do that. Hell, I do that already when I'm not really into the sex but not against it enough to say no.- narcoticsunshine

Good Answer AwardI'd like to be a male lion. He does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and it is totally accepted. He's got his bitches (lionesses) to do everything for him. Or so he thinks. He'll sit on his ass and whine loudly, but they just look at him like he's an idiot. "This is a ZOO, not the SERENGETI. I am NOT killing a wildebeest for you." On second thought, I think I'd rather be a lioness. Yeahhh.- McDiablo


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