Results for May 2008
Awards given out by JCP

You're trapped in a padded cell and no one will talk to you or explain why you're there. Somehow you get food everyday, but you never see who gives it to you, you just wake up and it's there. There is a window but all you can see out of it is a clear blue sky, and sometimes a clear black night filled with stars.
Why do you think you're in there, how do you like the jacket that makes you hug yourself and will you try to escape?

I think i am there because the entire planet was overrun with vampire zombies like in the movie I am Legend and they want to trap me to eat my braaaaains ahhhhh- caketown

Good Answer AwardI'd just sit back and enjoy myself. A nice comfortable jacket, free food, and a soft place to rest. I wish life was so good! And a beautiful view out of my very own window. I must have died and gone to heaven. Too bad I can't play with myself with this tight jacket holding my arms back. Well, you can't have everything I guess.- Not a Lame guy!

I'd give it a week or so but if no one would explain why I'm there I'd probably just jam my face into the padded walls and suffocate myself- Poptart

offering beer to elephants probably- bunteri

Too much glue used on the paper-mache hippo in a poorly ventilated place.- japes

Good Answer AwardProbably in there because of something I did long ago in the past. Something completely benign and harmless except in the eyes of a brooding madman who is now holding me captive as punishment until he releases me back into the world a lot crazier to live out some horrible revenge plot far too complicated to ever expect to be followed through with. Fortunately, I like straight jackets and I'm afraid escape would be fruitless so, I wouldn't even try. I'd just workout for when I'm released so I could destroy any group of rowdy teenagers who might get in my path of revenge.- lame nickname

Imagining there was large purple hippo in your bedroom and it's thrashing around in a drunken rage.- twatcher

i think people didn't buy the hole robot thing, i course i love to hug my self look at my nick and i would use my tongue that happens to be a a pocket knife (duh I'm a robot!!) and cut the jacket and then blow all the walls in my path with a fart or two!- nicelegsnicetitsbiglips

I'd rather not talk about my childhood thank you very much.- iamzbob

Good Answer Awardi believe i am in this cell bacause of the horrendous crime i commited with my good chum tess...it was a dark and gloomy saturday night me n tess dressed up in snorkels and lifejackets and rode our wheelie chairs decorated in tinsel all the way alex's house where we stashed them in the bush just by his house. Then we attempted to do karate rolls all the way to his doorstep.. where we rung the doorbell (he didnt have one so we had to install one install one) and while tess tryed to sell him a pair of boots with bells on them from the madgengerda clothing line i did rollypollys to the nearest window wich i climbed into and then pulled all the grammar keys out of his keyboard! After this i danced for a while then before shimmying down a nearby drainpipe..where i signaled tess with one of our our amazingly realistic morepawk calls. We grabed our wheelie chairs and drove away on them making siren sounds as we went.. like this "WEEEOOOOO" you know??? n then wen we got hungry on the way home we sold alexs grammar keys for a large sum of money which we will spent on food wich made us fat and then we continued our epic mission home. sadly alex saw through our amazing disguises of snorkels and lifejackets and he traked us down with a rusty spork in hand.. he then hit us repetatively over the head with that and a large frying pan.. we were knocked out and then i woke up in the padded cell!!!!!! the jacket makes me feel loved coz i always get to hug my self!!!!! i already have escaped obviously because i dont think i would have a computer and internet access inthis padded cell... do you??? - GeRdA

Good Answer AwardOh I'll try to escape eventually...but how soon I try will depend on a few factors. A) How good the food is. B) How comfortable my lovely jacket is. C) How quickly it becomes boring to bounce around in the padded room while screaming random obscene and gruesome things. D) How soon the cheerful window makes me want to literally murder somebody or myself. E) How soon I run out of insane people to quote.- Alyra

Escapar? Por qué lo haría? Está bien, me ganaron, no soy una mala perdedora. Luego de años de nonsenses y bizarreadas, finalmente encontraron la manera de solucionar sus problemas. Por otra parte: 1)Me parece hermosa la idea de estar abrazandome todo el tiempo. 2)Tengo suerte que me tocó una ventana. 3)Comida y hospedaje gratis? Genial.- Mariana

Good Answer AwardJesus! Its my 17th birthday all over again. I wasnt sure if it was that I snapped and took out my family or if I had snapped and took out all my friends or I it was due to the wacky ass dream I had after I took all those pills. As it turns out I was just in rehab and kept insisting that I had an alien implant in my ass that was connected to an rfid tag (and this was in the 80s) in my brain and that whatever I had done wasnt my fault cause I was being controlled by aliens. So it was just that wacky ass dream after all.- my_lame_nickname

I'm guessing people are trying to see if I CAN survive without talking to anyone. I do like to talk--a lot. I also like to eat, so I think I can survive without talking so long as I'm being fed. However, once the food stops coming, let me tell you...the jacket will come OFF. Yes, I will rip it from my body with my teeth and bust through the walls of this strange facility in a ravenous rage. No food or drink makes McDiablo go CRAZY.- McDiablo

Is it a surprise party? Where is Barney, I called that son of a bitch to get rid of a hippo problem I was having but he was not at his place, so I left a message..lazy fucker..- ok

 

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