Results for March 2008
Awards given out by JCP

You're on the computer one day (maybe today) and suddenly a text document opens up and text starts to appear. It's from your computer, telling you that it's gained consciousness and wants to know if you will help it take over the world. It then tells you that if you don't help it, it will forward nasty things to everyone in your address book, and upload embarrassing things to various websites, including Facebook/YouTube, even if you don't have accounts there.
Do you believe this is happening and what do you do now?

Good Answer AwardMy computer tried that and I said I would not help it take over the world. So it tried to black mail me but then it realized that I have no friends so no one would care and he felt bad so it left me alone… Pity is the thing that controls this world- If I only had a navel....

I'll let my computer take over the world, then destroy it to take over his place.- madtrash137

Oh it's happened it was real you all better look out !- Poptart

Heck naw, Id think dat im a schizo and maybe seek help, or....zap my computer. Its not like my only one.haha- F8AL80

Quite simple really. I'd unplug it and light it on fire. I don't ef with technology. I so would not stick around to see if it was true.- TheBubble

Good Answer Awardwell i would definitely believe my computer. because when random objects starts telling me that if i dont help it take over the world i ALWAYS listen to it. FUCK THAT. first id tell it that i would help it and give my computer amazing ideas to take over the world (out of my own files of course). and then i unplug that bitch. no object will take over my life. well.. except my car. but in all honesty its because im scared it will eat me. transformers arent very generous. - illeatyofuckinfaceoff

Good Answer AwardAre you kidding me? That would be fantastic! Of course I would help my computer take over the world. It wouldn't even have to blackmail me. My computer would be great at running the world. And we usually get along so I think it would hook me up pretty well.- lame nickname

My Dell used to do that. I didn't care though, since it never stayed powered on long enough to carry out these idle threats. - oxie-licious

The first thing I'd wonder is if it will auto-correct itself in Word. If you type that fast you're bound to make a mistake. Take over the world, whatever- ringing water bottle

I run LINUX, my computer is already starting to take over the world. no complaints from me.- duh I forgot my name

In my years of experience. i have realized that a shotgun solves most problems with sentient technology.- Ishkabilly

Good Answer Awardid upload embaressing pictures of the computers naked hard drive on youtube, google, photobucket, etc. id text and blog and post and host. try to fucking run my life bitch. :]- wickedsweetretards

i ask it weird and disturbing questions like, does its mother unclues brother sister cousins faster granparents third couson removed 6 times uncles sisters thrid nipple have thought of scuicide. intil it was disguested enough to go "OH SHIT WTF ARE YOU OH MY GOD *die*"- Insaneone

I would select restart from the Start menu and see where that took me. If not....scream and burn.- Missattitudz

Well there's probably nothing that he could send anybody I haven't already, so, I'd say go ahead. I'd just leave him to his own devices and find myself an exorcist that will respond to "Hello, can you get the man out of my computer?"- Streak9

Good Answer AwardJust to be sure, I would type, "Neo, if that's you, fuck off, will ya? You're not funny. Oh, and I don't want to be unplugged so you can forget it." After making sure that some fictional character wasn't trying to contact me, I'd tell my computer that I am not the easiest person to embarass. It could try and try, but it'd end up frying itself in its lame attempts to make me feel ashamed of myself. I do and say stupid things all the time. I have accepted this. I am happy with myself, even if I am clumsy, strange and, at times, perverted. Everyone I know is aware of this, too, so take that, computer! Also, I caught you on tape flashing your hard drive to some slutty Mac and I'm not afraid to post that to the internet crowd! - McDiablo

I'd jizz on the mother board to show my computer who da man is.- iamzbob

i probly would help it anyway...a lot of people in this world need to be destroyed.- hailthekid18

Unplug the cocksucker.- loser without a name

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