Results for February 2008
Awards given out by JCP

You wake up one day surrounded by muppets that are moving without the aid of humans.
How do you escape their evil clutches and warn the world about their evil ways?

Good Answer AwardAnd that's when I get in the aliens car and say fuck the world. It's every man, or woman, for themself when possessed muppets start taking over the world. Survival of the damned fittest, or yay for the lucky like me that I'm walking on this side walk just as aliens pull up and offer me out. Hmmmm.... - TheBubble

First I would pork Ms. Piggy. Then I would kermit the frog because I'm green with envy. I would create a new muppet called "Permit the Frog". He would be able to get away with anything!!! Then I would flip-off big bird and create a new toy called "Don't taze me Elmo!!"- Cessna

Good Answer AwardFirst I would brush my teeth and spit the paste on the green ones. Green muppets are highly allergic to to flouride in toothpaste. The sight of an allergic reaction would immediately make the red muppets have diarrhea. Muppet diarrhea is fatal 83% of the time. By that time my breakfast should be ready. - Monk

Good Answer AwardThis would probably be my first clue that I have died and gone to my own personal hell. I would probably have a hard time figuring out how to escape that but I might as well try. The first thing I would do is find that frog kermit and apply some neck twisting torture to him. Maybe he would tell me how to get out. If that fails I would go find his whore girlfriend Miss Piggy, the big fat slut. Maybe seeing here skewered and rotating on a BBQ spit would get him to talk. - MANFRED

Good Answer AwardIf Miss Piggy and Kermit happen to be these muppets than I throw some chocolate cookie dough onto Kermit and run away. Miss Piggy will be so busy devouring the frog she's stalked for ages that I will be able to escape unharmed. As far as warning people about the muppets, I just hijack one of their TV shows with muppets that ARE controlled by humans and do such offensive things that muppets are taken off the air forever and thus no longer have power.- Arisu

Good Answer Awardi befriend them and become the new puppet master- wykydjuggalo

Good Answer Awardall evil possesed puppet problems are solved with napalm and a butane torch.- Ishkabilly

i say "LOOK KERME" them fart flames at them till they melt to death then ill laugh for 3-4 hours then ill run to msnbc or some other place and yell "HEY THE MUPHETS ARE ATTACKING FLAMEING FARTS ARE THEIR WEAKNESS" then i would wake up and see that they took over- Insaneone

WMD- ver

I punch them in the face and eat their soul- Adam

I would seduce the muppets and masturbate on them till their fur stuck them together then take pictures and step away.- iamzbob

Get them stoned - Dippy

Good Answer AwardI'll wonder how the hell they're moving without strings and set off on a quest to find the answer. After weeks of investigating, I come to the conclusion that each Muppet is possessed by the remnants of Jim Henson's spirit who decided to leave the afterlife and live on in each of his creations: Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Animal and, yes, even Ralph the Dog. New life has been breathed into these magical puppets and I will weep with joy for hours and hours.- McDiablo

Call the gRANDCHILDREN, they will straighten anything out.- esp

I better have another drink. Maybe that will make them go away.- asswipe with sandpaper

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