Results for December 2007
Awards given out by JCP
You've been at home for a few days (or has it been weeks?) doing nothing but watching TV. You realize slowly that the people on the TV are talking directly to YOU, and talking ABOUT you. They think you're too stupid to ever figure it out and have been mocking you right to your face for years. Do you start arguing with them about how smart you really are and then try to convince friends and family that this is happening to you OR do you put your pants back on and turn the TV off, and then destroy it somehow without telling anyone what happened?

Good Answer AwardDestroying things appears to be an appropriate answer to any of life's conundrums.- Mzebonga

I just turn it off and throgh it out the window.- MaximeDemon

I argue with them in my typical fashion when I'm trying to prove my superiority in intelligence. I use big words and demean them. If that doesn't convince anybody than I just change my name, go on that show and insult everyone else. If you can't convince them you're sane and smart, join them.- Arisu

Good Answer Award*sigh* I knew this day would come... I didn’t know how or why but i knew Hollywood and Broad Street would collaborate against me... well i installed this big red button and now.... well .... *CLICK* .... (1/4 hour later) NEWS REPORTER: A terrible set of events today, absolutely terrible. Officials have just now spread the word of why we have lost connection to the international media icons of Hollywood and Broad Street. Is in fact the doing for a terrorist attack? We go live to a satellite feed of Hollywood where we can see nothing but a large black glass creator… (1 hour after) President George W. Bush: today we faces yet another hard time in our natons history, we have beein a attacked by unknown forces. And this time the target was or fremdom of communication and speech. My fellow Americans. There shall be no more “desperate house wives.” For Hollywood and Broad Street are gon. - Ishkabilly

Good Answer AwardI'd switch to web surfing and wrap the TV in aluminum foil so I wont hear the voices in m head anymore. I'd hand out on the street and tell everone to wrap their TVs in foil so they won't be bothered by the same problem. It must be happening to everyone and I'm the only one who notices.- Heavy Load

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you said you'd keep this to yourself ! You wouldn't tell anyone!!! How many people have read this JCP!!?? WTF !! Now EVERYONE knows - Poptart


i would destroy the tv with a hammer.- brit

I don't watch tv, but I'll stretch my imagination for the sake of argument....I would start talking about them! hahahahah! Especially that sexy weather bitch that really doesn't know an occluded front from a microburst, and tell the traffic guy what color panties she has on! that should really fix her little red wagon. By the way, the traffic guy has a festering carbuncle on his right ass cheek.- cessna

I'll pick B because yes I watch TV with no pants on and I also have no friends to tell about those bastards on the TV staring at me. - jingle balls

I don't own a TV. - Dilly Douchebag

Start shouting at them. Only then if they directly engaged in an argument with me, calling me by my name nad hurling hurtful insults would I invite anyone else to observe this phenomenon.- titti flores

First off, I rarely watch tv without pants on. But I'd probably beat the crap out of the tv with a baseball bat and leave it for the garbage man. No inanimate object is gonna talk shit about me and get away with it! - Jennifer

definatly destroy the TV, and all the stupid people in it, only after telling the people in my own head to shut up so i can here the insults coming out of the TV:) then smash with sledge hammer. - munnin

Turn off the TV and destroy it.- wolfy

I'd turn my TV to face a mirror and then point out to the people on the TV how stupid they look and what a waste it has been making fun of me for the past how ever many years. I would then leave them to ponder this while I went and bought I new TV to watch.- narcoticsunshine

Good Answer AwardIt is the gift giving season and for some reason you always have to give presents to people you hate. So I would wrap up my trash talking TV in very pretty paper and give it to certain person I HATE so the TV can insult him and make him feel like shit or just mentally unstable. Hopefully they would get so depressed about all the mean comments that the people in the TV are saying that he would commit suicide. Now THAT would be the BEST Christmas gift EVER!- If I only had a navel....


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