Results for December 2007
Awards given out by JCP
While outside on a lovely winter day, some idiot throws a snowball right into your face. There is a piece of ice sticking out of your eye and it REALLY hurts. After you pull out the ice and scream in pain for a bit, you discover that it was a snowman who threw the snowball, and he's still standing there, enjoying your misery.
What do you do to get even with the carrot-nosed bastard?

Good Answer AwardI stack wood around his static ass and burn him at the stake. Quite why he would rip his own balls off and throw them at me is lost on me, though.- Mzebonga

What?!? I set a fire under his ass!- MaximeDemon

Pull his nose off and shove it up his snow ass after raping the miserable bastard. Ohk so that may be a little harsh. Maybe I don't rape him, I just put him in a bull pen with a horny bull and let the bull rape him. I'm in an anti-snowpeople mood today. Obviously.- Arisu

Good Answer Awardi get his snowlady a little drunk and make out with her and have a friend take some pictures. then, i would send him the pictures in the mail with a card that said "she's not so frigid with me...."- shario's

Good Answer AwardYour all a bunch of sick motherfucker fuckers its very un likely the world is gonna end in our life time.- motherfucker123

i would glare at the snow man for approximately 1.3292162 seconds before it would spontaneously combust- Ishkabilly

Good Answer AwardFirst I'd pull out his stupid carrot nose and shove it up his ass. Then I'd sprinkle road sand and calcium chloride on his face and watch it melt. After kicking him in the sno-balls for a while I'd eat some asparagus, drink six cups of green tea, take a couple of vitamin B pills and proceed to paint him yellow with my stinking urine. Then while he is whimpering in pain and humiliation I would show him the Al Gore global warming movie and laugh maniacally as I explain that he is the last of his kind and snowmen will soon be extinct on this increasingly baumy world. Mua ha ha ha ha ha!- Heavy Load

It would depend on how badly hurt I was.......I certainly would deal with the pain as best I could while attacking the Snowman. It would definitely be a complete rage attack...no thought, no planning..just rage Pure EVIL rage - Poptart

Get my dog to pee on him.- oxie

PEE ON IT!!! YES!!!- CHUBBY

Throw a bomb at him.- oxie

i would pick him up and put him in the sun to melt slowly and suffer a long and painful death.- brit

piss all over him, pull out the carrot and ream him a new asshole with it.- cessna

I'll sprinkle coal dust all over him and then get a big mirror and reflect sunlight onto him and watch him melt. When he's just a puddle I'll piss in it wo it mixes in with the water and he cant escape it. That'll burn his eyes out!- jingle balls

Take an enormous crap and throw a turdball at him. Hopefully a piece of corn or a nut will lodge itself in one of the lumps of coal that he has for eyes, the chilly bastard!!!- Dilly Douchebag

Cool topic! ;)- Kilkoi

beat him with a stick- titti flores

My revenge involves a shovel, a dildo and a flamethrower. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. >:)- Jennifer

well i hate snow already so why not run into the house grab an extension cord and a blow dryer.....and melt the SOB....then worry about the eye problem..:) - munnin

Good Answer AwardMake a rainbow snow cone stand, use him for the upply of ice, and feed him to sweet craving children.- wolfy

Good Answer AwardI would build a gorgeous Snowwoman to make him fall in love with her and just when he's ready to do anything for her, she'd leave him for the other Snowwoman I built because the Snowman is just doesn't complete her like the Snowwoman does. Or, you know, since that's a lot of building and is going to take some time, I'll just steal his carrot nose and eat it.- narcoticsunshine

Good Answer AwardMelting him would be too quick and painless, that son of a bitch has to suffer!!! First I would rip off his little stick arms and break them in half, no more snowballs for him!! Then I would take his hat and his scarf because my neck might be cold and he is made of snow so why does he need protection from the cold? Then I would eat his nose cause I would be very hungry at that point and when he is nothing but coal eyes and button nose I would mold him in a penis shape and leave his eyes on him so he can watch when all the other kiddies giggle and scorn his shape and the parents destroy him cause he is damaging their kids innocent eyes. All the while I would be drinking hot chocolate and laughing maniacally as the snow idiot suffers!! - If I only had a navel....

 

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