Results for August 2007
Awards given out by JCP

What if you woke up one day in a spaceship and discovered that a rogue moon was headed for Earth and everyone had decided that YOU must go out into space and deal with it? They've only given you a paperclip, some balloons, a weather network printout and some tennis balls filled with explosives. SAVE OUR PLANET!


Good Answer AwardYou picked the wrong guy for this trip. Thanks for the ride so I can watch everyone get pulverized in the biggest bang since, , well ever. I don't know what I'll do with all that crap but the first thing I would do is call up NASA and gloat about what fools they are for trusting me to save them.- Self Healer

i'd say 'what the fuck is wrong with u morons? i need some bubble gum too!'- Losah Nameless

Good Answer AwardI would take all the useless crap they gave me and build a space suit out of it and launch my self in to outer space and then from my great seat in space I would watch the moon hit world and laugh at all the stupid people for expecting me to do it for them and for them not getting off their lazy asses and not doing it them selves. Of course I would save all the cats because they control my thoughts.- If I only had a Navel....

I would contact my friends on the planet Andromeda, they'd take care of it in no time. Since they are 4th dimensional beings all they'd have to do is tell that Moon's mother to pull him back in. Then all his friends would think he was a loser. Better than killing him eh?- justinentropy

Screw you all. I'm the one with the spaceship. Your planet can burn and die.- bluemonkeyfearer

Good Answer AwardI'd say the world was screwed. I have no idea how to pilot a spaceship. Moreover, non e of those are particularly edible so I'll probably go mad days before my mission is due to reach its climax. It'll all end quite promptly when I try to chow down on an explosive tennis ball.- Mzebonga

YOUR ALL FUCKED HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ( peace )- Zebdi

I'd gladly take on the operation as a means to have sex with as many woman as I could. Hey baby, I'm in charge of saving the planet, wanna do it? I have no intention of saving all you losers...That rogue moon will purge the planet :) - Poptart

well, sorry to dissappoint everyone, but i think i would be like fuck this shit! and throw the explosives (from a safe distance of several hundred miles) at the moon and since there is no friction in space, they would just keep flying till they hit the moon. in the meantime i would be halfway to mars to go chil;l with some of my little alien neighbors. WERE GUNNA MAKE LEMONADE!!!!!!- bobthemouse09

I'd have a zero gravity party with lots of balloons, and I'd sabotage my favorite weather network before we all explode in a blazing inferno of death.- Streak9

I am a going to be a Super Hero!! Now I will be able to save the world if I gave a damn about the world and actually had super powers! Well tennis balls with explosives sound pretty super and paper clips are super duper so really I could save the world I would just have to wait until the moon got close enough and then I would stab a ballon with a paper clip and scare the moon away with loud noise or I could show the moon my horrid moon and make it change course! Yes, that is my super power; scaring earth destroying rouge moons away with my grotesque ass!! I am Mooning girl... see me flash!! - The wierd side of Hell

i'd do it and then sniff the paper clip awhile- Nameless moron

I's stab myself in the heart with the paperclip. A very romantic death.- marshmellow man

i would throw the tennis balls at the rogue moon.- lame mclamester

I'd do nothing and point and laugh as the earth blew up before my very eyes. Then I would recover and realize that I am now alone. All alone. I would then promptly kill myself with the paperclip.- McDiablo

Good Answer Awardwell obviously, with only a paperclip, balloons, a weather network print out and explosive tennis balls the only thing you really could do is save the planet!.. I mean how hard is it the paper clip the explosive tennisballs to the ballons which you fillled with the printout papers and hurl them twards the moon. to make THAT expload then the papers would light inside the balloon as soon as it blased beoynd the rear end of the rocket and by the time the fire got to the explosives then the set up would be on the unwanted piece of space jun allowing it to blast its way back out into the universe.- Tiki

me i say fuck off i goin down the pub the footy is on an i cn here me pint calling me so you kindppl here want ot go get off ya lazy ares an sort it ya self i tell ya what i will even throw in a ash tray an a pint glass to help you in ya quests infact no shit no ash tray they aint gho them in pubs any more on smoking na all that shucks well ok anyway me goin pub o drink watch sport stand on a table with my trousers round me anklessinging come all ye faithful an pass out with me head either inbetween a large set of breasts or in the pan of the shitter either way good luck saving the world ya can count me rite out i tell ya - lee

fuck saving the world, I'll just jack off till they realize i won't do shit- COCK_BLOCKER