Results for April 2007
Awards given out by JCP

You're reading a book that has a character that is JUST like you. It seems they've had the same childhood as you and everything. What DO you do? : Flip to the end of the book and read about the characters death, read it straight through, stop reading it completely, or hunt down the author and sue them?

I'd read the whole thing. Then if I realized it was my life, I'd find the author and kill them. And maybe eat them.- Kinky Kelly

Hunt them down and KILL THEM, since only a very sick mind would write my life- gglass

Good Answer AwardWell I hate when that happens but I'd tried to find the authors and sue them but Mathew Changed his name and moved to Dade county, Mark slipped out the back door and openned a new place in Alaska, Luke threatened to counter suite based on breach of contract, Stephen got a sex change and moved in with James in San Francisco, and John is hiding out in Egypt with Mary and Judas. Whenever you face this kind of dilema You will just have to keep asking yourself... What would Jimmy do? or just (WWJD?) for short.- JimmysaysListenupdude

Nope because this book was written before my birth.- IshKabilly

I'd read it, it'd be interesting to see what others thought of my life.- Chicken of Despair

Killing the author seem more fun to me, but to sue them looks interesting too.- mad_patrol

Read the entire book. Unless its really really really shit, and well then, what does that say about you.- haeboe

Boy, that would be one excessively long, dull book. I'd probably fall asleep reading it and drool on the pages.- Hey! It's NEDLY - NOT dumbass!

Good Answer Awardhunt down the author and sue them for stalking me...and for writing such a crappy book.- lamenamegameforshame

I'd try to be clever and rip out parts later on in the book that I don't like. So, like, if I don't end up getting my dream job, I'll just tear that page out and hope the book is somehow connected to my future life. Yeah, it's a stretch, but you never know what could happen, especially when you're someone who's slightly delusional and thinks her life is like a fantasy film. Where have all the unicorns gone?!- McDiablo

Good Answer Awardstep one: freak out for about 5 minutes ( any longer and i get hungry). step two: find a pair of socks that arent stiff from sweat. step three: continue to plan canadas destruction. and step four: marinate book in mandarin sauce, bread with kitty litter and serve with a nice blend of black cherry, orange and grape koolaid. its tempora thing, you know.- Great Jihad

Hmm, I'd track down the author, and throw the book at them in the face. Serves them right, killing off the coolest book character ever.- Zelda

I'd make as much money off of it as I possibly can. And of course, the first thing I'd do is see how I would die.- The Bubble

I would have to say that I would be intriged for someone to be like me but that can never happen in an milliion years that they could be just like me.- tt

Good Answer AwardIs this question modeled after the movie the Number 23? Well, I suppose that i would read it through to the end, psychotically obsess over my death, go into a atate of panic and shock, denounce my possessions, and ensure that I die in a manner not described by the book so that I could say "FUCK YOU MIND READER!!!!" I will die insane and alone.- idontmindthesunsometimes

Actually, I'd see if i cause a paradox by skipping to the present day/time/minute/second.- yam

well i think i would probably stop reading it. then the first time i have a hard decision to make i will just flip ahead to the part where i make the decision and then i can base what i really do off of that.- bobthemouse09

Put the book away, I already know how it ends.- Rico

Well, I'd check for the disclaimer...if there isn't one. I'd eat the author as is done on my home planet.- G-Rod

skip to the end- tine

Read it to the very end- Kster

I dont read books much, well not fiction.- Gazza

if it tell my whole life... id just read it then kill my self... hahahah fuckin book thinks it knows me... stupid book- elbonyo

read it straight- ZC

hunt and sue- beatch

If that ever happened, then I would assume that it meant I had a stalker. I'd finish the book... laugh at the book... track down the author... and feed him/her the book.- bluemonkeyfearer

Oh my god, Severus kills me on page 606!!! ... Sorry, you were saying?- Insaneslasher

i would buy a hippo and take it to the authors house and have it shit on his lawn and NOT pick it up. then i would take a giant pizza and slap that person in the face then sue them..- 6inchhookerheels

I would read it straight through, especially savoring the bits where the character witnessed her best friend punch a fat hippo girl in the hall, all the female characters pretending to have lesbian sex at a Christian concert in the stall to freak the other people out, and all my other great achievements. I would then type up the whole book, tweaking it now and again slightly, taking out all the bad bits, and then sell it as my autobiography. Then I would sue the original author for copying my autobiography. - Rabid Dustbunny

I read it straight through, just to see whether the striking resemblance/lucky streak ends or not. I would probably take the book too seriously. I do it all the time to stories/movies when a familiar situation arises.- yoghurt_yoga

Good Answer AwardI woiuld read through it to find if there are any references to future events and them do the opposite just to see if it's really about me. If it is about me and I can change events then I could use information in the book to manipulate others to do my bidding because I would have information of future events to use for my personal gain.- burp master

Read it straight through, show up at the next book signing and start autographing. Also assume the name of the character, and make a killing off of being them.- Zombie Sock Monkey

i cant help but read any trash i pick up all the way thru, but iguess id feel pretty stoked to feel connected to a fictional character, after all anything can happen to them - sikkgrrl

Good Answer AwardI don't like questionaire questions like this where you give multiple choice answers. It isn't really conducive to creativity now, is it? Okay, I would read it through because I like reading. I don't think that I would take it seriously anyway. You get a monkey butt for that question.- cessna

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