Results for October 2006
Awards given out by JCP

What if you found your toothbrush on the kitchen counter (NOT where you left it), right beside a pile of clean dishes that were in the dishwasher, a soap dish and some tile cleaning spray (you can smell it, so it's been used recently). When asking the only other person in the house about it, they claim they have NO idea why it's there and then insist it was YOU who left out all this stuff. You KNOW it's not you (for sure this time), so what do you do now to get some damned answers as to what happened to your toothbrush?

Hit first, ask questions later. That's always the best way to work around here.- Spacecake

i would just throw it out and get a new one or do the same to their tootbrush - Diane


Brush my teeth.- The Venerable Yank

Good Answer AwardGet a gun! Okay so I should never have a roommate. Actually, while they were sleeping I would tie them up and then when they wake up threaten to torture them with either techno, country, or britney spears music, or all three until they tell me the damn truth. Can you just imagine all three of those played together? That would probably make ANYBODY go insane. You know, you could recruit people that way....- Pyro Princezz

Let's face it, it's Sunday morning and the dishes are done: I'm simply going to fall asleep in front of the TV and watch stupid cartoons and reruns of Star Trek: Voyager until dinnertime. Fuck the toothbrush.- Mzebonga

Kill my so called friend and buy me a new toothbrush- mad_patrol

I must have been sleep-cleaning and brushing my teeth at the same time.- thecyberpixie

Superglue the other person in a locked rtoom until they tell you.- D4F

i woudl attack wires froma car battery to hic testicles then if he didnt answer after that i would threaten to castrate him with a rusty dull sprok and force feed his genetaes to him to later find out that it was all my brothers fault and i goto the hospital to appoligize to the guy i castreated and then we all laugh then i really wake up and say " that was one fucked up dream" then i walk into the liveing room to see my room make castraited on the couch dead.- Insaneone

Hypnotism is the answer to all of your problems. That, and bribery.- gravity wins

Good Answer AwardI go and get their toothbrush, and wipe my butt on it, and leave it on the counter, with a 'suspicious' looking brownish tinge on it...(they would later ask...'Does my toothbrush smell like butt fruit to you?)- Mermaid

I'd kick my mother out for the last time. I hate when she does that.- BlueManGuy

Monkey ButtThe originality at this site is slipping....- ROXTOYZ

Throw him down and brush his own teeth with the brush untill he gives me answers while shining such lovely shiny teeth in my face.- Neos9

I'd pull down my pants and shit in the dish-water. If they go nuts, then i know its them, cuz they cleaned the dishes and now ive got them dirty again. either that or force them to sit with me as i continue to drink the cleaning spray, and flap my cock in there face untill they admit it.- South-West-Suicide

Good Answer AwardI'd pull out my gat, aim it at my room mate, and say "I want some damned answers as to what happened to my toothbrush." It would be then that he would confess everything about how the sock people hypnotised him and forced him to clean them against his own will. In overwhelming guilt, he would ript he gun from my hand, and kill himself.- me

first of all is the spray flamable? if so i would use it as a threat to my roomie and force him to brush with it...- IshKaBilly

Question the toothbrush. Curse in Cthulhu's Name, and place riccotta in your housemates's hair brush...- Zombie Sock Monkey

Good Answer Awardhit the person in the face with a pickaxe,shove my hand up there arse and use them as a puppet,then pretend there giving me the answers i want to hear,.......then put the dig a hole....put the dead body in it where no one will see you......the have sex with it.- The ultimate fan of plankton

Quit smoking so much pot.- iamdan

I would hang them by their feet and beat them with a belt till they told me the truth... That will teach em.... Hehe.- tophatloser

I threaten him to clean *his* mouth with the toothbrush. He probably won't tell me a thing, but if it really grosses him out then I'll know that it's not safe to use it.- Insaneslasher

mmm...MR.CLEAN- idiotnameless

Fuck the toothbrush! I know that asshole used to clean the dishes, that piece of shit. So, I'll go out and buy a new toothbrush and shove the old one straight up his ass in his sleep.- idontmindthesunsometimes

go insane- mad_patrol

I'd brush my teeth.....then die from the chemicals so then I no longer have to put up with finding out what happened to my shit. Yup, I am THAT tired of it.- McDiablo

Well this is where I get a bit Christopher Walken in true romance, I have a little interrogation. Then the suspect will be all like "Hey you wop bastard, you're all niggers" And I'd be like "What? I'm a jew you crazy bastard" which is when I'd get to work on his nipples with a set of drawing pins, after which I'll start hurting him. I won't go into details, I'll just say it envolves mini disks.- George

I would bring the other person into the kitchen to inspect the area, while their looking at the brush closely, (becuase I said so) I'd smash plates onto their head, then sodimize them with the brush, then brush their teeth for them. Stupid fucks.- SMUS!

Soak their toothbrush in tabasco sauce over night. Then rinse it in cool water to get out the color. Then put it in the holder, or where ever it was. When they bitch about it, just act shocked and sympathyseand say, wow, that's just like my toothbrush. I wonder how that happened?- Ms. Undulation Creation

step1. remove contents of dishwasher completely. Step2. combine the tile cleaning spray , ammonia and plenty of bleach in a goodsized bucket. Step3. when it is your roomates turn to load the dishwasher, place the bucket in the dishwasher. enjoy!- jbkleenex

Good Answer AwardI would not give two damn shits. What the fuck do I need a toothbruch for? I have a frigging tongue, I don't need some shitty little bit of fuzzy-ended plastic that someone's probably going to penetrate themselves with to do it for me! Although I would still call the other person a fuckin' wab. =P- Smimmons

Chloryform the other person and drill on their teeth with dental tools without any painkillers.- Katoid

fuck it and buy a new one then use everyone elses to clean your toe jam- evilbubba13

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