Results for November 2006
Awards given out by JCP

What if, while a friend is visiting, they sneak away when you're in the bathroom and steal something from you (such as a garden gnome). You don't realize this until you're at their place and see it hidden away in their bedroom. Seeing as you're not supposed to be snooping around in their bedroom (seriously, that's just rude.), how do you handle this situation?

Good Answer AwardI take the garden gnome and hide it under the covers so that when they flop down on their bed at night they get a nasty surprise. When, in the hospital, I'm sympathetically holding their hand and they ask me if I had anything to do with it, I grin maliciously and say "You really shouldn't have stolen Fred, Fred was my friend. You should have stolen George, George is mean." - PyroPrincezz

Good Answer AwardSteal the gnome back, and leave something you stole from them in its place...- Zombie Sock Monkey

i would slap the person till they returned it saying " WHERE MY PANTS" becasue id be other their house in my boxers and threaten to stip infront of them then laugh manically as they got me my pants and i would elave right away with they cuurtins.- Insaneone

Kill them and take back all my stuff and their money- mad_patrol

Good Answer AwardTo be honest, if they're hiding a garden gnome in their bedroom, I don't want it back because I shudder to think what they've been doing with it.- Mzebonga

I put ALL their underwear on my head and charge at them shouting "OH MY GOOD GRAVY IT'S KARMA AND I'M COMING STRAIGHT AT YOU!"- George

I quickly steal it back, run home (if I'm close, otherwise I'll just stuff it in my bra) and hide it. In the case of hiding it in my bra, if it's too big I'll probably just throw it out the window and quickly grab as I leave. If my friend finds out, I'll confront them, saying that I was in their bedroom because I felt like it and that they went snooping around my place and stole something so they really have no right to be pissed of with me. If they get pissed off, I throw that cup she made in Ceramics at her face and run for it, carefully remembering to bring the thing she stole from me.- missidiot

i say YES! THE PLAUGE IS GON! THE GNOME IS NO LONGER STALKING ME!!! IM FREE! FREE I TELL YOU!- Ishkabilly

I'd probably put the gnome (or whatever) on the middle of their bed, piss on it, then crap in their sock drawer. Then I'd sneak out and pretend like nothing had happened.- piss off you bum

Good Answer AwardYell. Throw things. When they complain about you being in their room, scream that you knew all along they had your Saint Bernard, and then demand to know why Mr. Piddles was locked in their bedroom. Accuse them of being an animal rapist and storm off, taking the dog with you.- bluemonkeyfearer

fuckin' take my garden gnome back. I worked good and hard to save up to have my little hand-painted porcelan pal out there. Anybody takes it, i'll get it back, and stab you in the face withg his pointy hat on the way out the door.- freak ninja

Steal it back , that was an easy one- dive8

Take it back, or steal something like it and see what happens when they find it at your place.- Heidikins

You just steal it back. Serious question? Wow.- zacanger

Good Answer AwardStart screaming that I heard the gnome telling me to set fire to the place, it was the gnome that bastard and they should get rid of it immediately by flushing it down the toilet since it it obviously defective and wants to burn things down. Because everyone knows that that job goes to the leprechauns. - oxie

It's Frankie and I beat them with a bat.- ver

Herbert did it, he gets spanked and tied up in the closet for a month. No pizza, no cheese, all he gets is soup.- Johnny Poptart

I kick ass from here to there and all over there.- JCP

I would poke her. The run around her in circles, then laugh insanely, then take my gnome, and causually walk home. Nothing too it.- Zelda

Good Answer AwardI would render them unconscious, steal back my possession and prance out to my car and put it in the trunk. I would then wait until they regained consciousness, making sure the TV is on a show with a boring as hell host (like Rick Steves). I could then blame the host for putting this so-called friend to sleep--and for giving them a massive headache. But, I will know the truth. So will you. Let us laugh evilly together. Bwa ha haaa!- McDiablo

Good Answer AwardSteal that shit back. Screw them, if they can go and steal shit from my house, I can steal it back. I would just say, hey, I lost my button. My sexy button, you know, the one with your face on it, let me look in your bedroom. Then I would see the garden gnome, for example and screech in terror and rage and proceed to storm out of the house, gnome in hand, mumbling softly to it.- monkeeskittles

no sweat i have plenty of garden gnomes- california

omb! that has happened to me b4.. excpt it wasnt a garden gnome but if it was i would have kickd that person's ass and taken my garden gnome back home.. haha i rymed.. but i would just take it without her realizing it..- 6inchhookerheels

Monkey Buttbut his ass and take it..- WD-40