Results for December 2006
Awards given out by JCP

You're out one day when Herbert the sock monkey runs up to you and hugs your legs, tripping you so you fall face first onto concrete. When you pick yourself up, he has already started to run away from you so he can go hug others. Do you wipe off the blood and chase him down to beat him senseless or do you get revenge some other way?

Go and bleed on his shoes. Apologise profusely and give many hugs in return.- Zombie Sock Monkey

Break his arms.So that way he will stop hugging people.- mad_patrol

Good Answer AwardI don't have time to chase him down so I bait a trap with sock bananas to lure him in, then when I have him tied down to the ground I run him over with a lawn mower until he is just bits of fluff. Then I light the fluff on fire with a zippo and piss on the burning bits to put them out so I won't cause a forest fire. The wet ashes will make good garden soil amendments.- Burnt-out Bill

damn right i do, and when i catch his fury little ass, id make him sit down and talk with tom cruise for 5 minutes, thatll teach that little retarded narcoleptic whore monger not to trip me up.- Meenky

Monkey Buttid plant odore eaters on him- wocknhell

Get a grenade,trow at him and watch him die- Ginger_girl

Good Answer Awardid get up chase him catch him the make him cover my crouch when i go streaking at my high school foot ball games then usehim to jerk off(i like it rough)id use a pool of blood that i bleed on the concrete as a lubricant- pornstar of the ant coloney at 14

i pee on him and dare you to pick it up- creepymike

I'd force him to drink Carling Black Label (is it still called that?)- Angus Purebread

I would fence his yard with thin piano wire. Right at neck height. Then throw needles into his bedroom window at night.- Rawrquel

I would write him a formal letter asking for an apology. Herbert hugs people. It's in his socky-monkey nature. I cannot hold it against him too much.- bluemonkeyfearer

The little fuck has to sleep sometime.- monkeeskittles

Good Answer AwardI get revenge in the only form I understand. Random violent acts. I'd probably stand t here acting hurt until some poor bastard asks me if I'm alright. Then I take his head off and use it like a bowling ball to trip up Herbert. When I caught up to him I'd proceed to nail him to the ground with masonry nails until his little stuffed tail quit twitching. If the cops haven't shown up by this point, I will go home and have lunch. If they have... well, I'll go to the county jail and have lunch.- Junkie Deluxe

i will destroy him- BIG POPPA

i run him down, and wipe my ass with him. i wouldnt even wipe the blood from my face, that way i'd look cool chasing him. cor that was a lame answer. sorry, im all out of insperation after answering my first question. Help me out Mzbonga?- South-West-Suicide

Good Answer AwardHey, I bought myself a Hug Protector loooong ago. Basically, it's an electrical fence that can be worn. It's a lot more comfortable than it sounds provided that I don't go near swimming pools or water parks. Since I'm prepared, poor Herbert will be electricuted when he hugs me. I'm sure this would render the little guy unconscious, but I would just leave him on the ground. He has to learn his lesson, after all.- McDiablo

Running is way too much effort, I'm really not an ambitious person by nature. I'd call him a tool and carry on with my day content in the fact that I could post a blog online stating the more than worthwhile prize for the person who brings me his little head.- Epic Epidemic

i would be thankful that herbert was not part of a gang trying to rob me or stomp me into the concrete. compered to the assholes i have to deal with everyday herbert is a harmless pest.- grump

I calmly walk over to the nearest pay phone, call my friendly neighborhood hit man and call out a hit on him. Why exert my energy running after him when I can just pay somebody to do it for me? - PyroPrincezz

id chase him and hug him back because love not war- sceneboy

Good Answer Awardchase him down, restrain him, tape his eyes open, and force hin to watch me torturing socks by stuffing them full of jelly beans until they explode.- Anna Phylaxis

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