Results for December 2006
Awards given out by JCP

What is the most insane holiday gift you've ever given someone
and did they appreciate it the way they should have?

Good Answer AwardMy best friend and i used to give eachother pieces of the places we visit: it started when i gave him a jar of sand from the beach, he gave me snow from the mountain, i gave him dirt from the valley, and he gave me sand from hawaii. Great for us cheapskates.- Zombie Sock Monkey

I gave someone a locke of my grandmas pubic hair. The reciever was very impressed with the durability and used it as a scour pad.- Erinfuck

A few years ago, I gave a friend of mine a present, with several little items. One of those items was a pickle fork. This fork had 2 spikes on the end that you stick into the jar, and on the other end was a little green fake pickle with a silly little grin on its face, and it had "bicks" written on the back. It was a quite entertaining little pickle. She loved it, even though she doesn't even like pickles!- Hufflebunny

A seven inch filet knife. She didn't understand the irony that was intended and I didn't bother to explain it. We'll just know that it was for my own private amusement.- Burnt-out Bill

Good Answer AwardI tried giving my buddy toni an alternate dimension but I guess he doesnt like the mad lobster cow hybrids wearing fezzes and drinking earl grey, who knew?- Meenky

Monkey Buttnothing- wocknhell

I gave my 17 yr old geeky virgin sister a dildo. she smacked me with it (it felt nice, no homo) and acted like she threw it away.i had to take out the gabarge that day it wasnt there. ever since shes been going to her room alot saying she going to the way who moans in thier sleep?- pornstar of the ant coloney at 14

i gave someone 15 bucks worth of scratch tickets compared to my usual 10 and they wernt greatfull enough if you ask me.- creepymike

The left bollock of a wombat and they said it was delicious- Angus Purebread

I gave my boyfriend a box of tampons at his Christmas party for refusing to tell me what he wanted for Christmas. He then proceeded to open them all and shoot them out at his friends.- Rawrquel

I usually can't afford gifts. A friend gave me a stuffed blue monkey once. That was nice. I have a collection.- bluemonkeyfearer

A vibrator. Not really insane, but it amused me because they are a straight up Christian and to open a box and see this massive vibrator had to be crazy. They did not appreciate it at all, they actually gave me and it a look of disgust and it was never mentioned again. I often wonder what happened to ol' buzzy, I miss him.- monkeeskittles

Good Answer AwardI suppose it's not a very insane gift, but I gave my sister a nice bottle of wine last christmas, of course I didn't tell her that I laced it with acid, but the after affects were rather interesting. I should think that she appreciated it the way she was supposed to in the sense that she drank most of it, but the rest she ended up pouring on the floor and just rolling around in it singing bits and pieces from the wizard of oz...- Katoid

One time I gave a co-worker of mine some dog breath biscuits because she was ugly and her breath always smelled of cabbage. She appreciated it with many tears. I'd be happy too if someone finally took care of my bad breath problem.- Junkie Deluxe

Good Answer AwardOh good Lord. Ready for an unfortunate story? I gave a good friend of mine a dildo. Reason being that there were many jokes about him being gay, which he wasn't. To make a long story short, curiosity got the best of him and now he is a self-proclaimed homosexual. So did he appreciate it the way he should have? You be the judge.- Joel

Monkey ButtI don't give gifts- BIG POPPA

Good Answer Awardi gave someone the idea i was going to die, after watching them weep uncontrolably for 20 minutes, i gave them the gift of the truth i was in fact, in no danger of dieng at all. you'd think they would be pleased, yet they hit me. ungratefull cunt.- South-West-Suicide

Good Answer AwardI think the prize would have to go with this year's effort by myself and Miss Roger's Sweater: We made a calendar with pictures of ourselves dressed as nuns. We have a nun fetish, all right? Hey, I'm not afraid to admit it. No denial here! But, wow, we had way too much fun with that. There's pictures of us passed out drunk, giving ourselves manicures and pedicures, rocking out on guitar (and me on the cowbell!), and posing as gangstas. We were mostly paying tribute to an actual calendar called Nuns Having Fun and, yes, my friends sure did appreciate the silly thing. One calendar shall be traveling with my friend as she heads to med school in the Caribbean and the other shall grace the walls of my other gal pal after she gets married in April. Nothing says it like nuns--and whatever "it" is, I really have no idea. Nuns are just cool, all right?- McDiablo

One time I gave my cousins a rabbits foot, and told them that it was lucky because the rabbit was brutally beaten and killed just for his foot, and it wasn't really lucky for the rabbit, but to humans it had special powers becuase the silver at the bottom stopped aliens from reading your mind if you wore it on your ear like a really big earring. They threw it away. D-:- Rabid Dustbunny

I rarely give or recieve gifts as I am incredibly anti-christian.- Epic Epidemic

an autographed picture pf norman the they were too retarded to read it.- grump

Good Answer AwardI'm friends with this preppy, cutsy type of girl. (As in she loves poodles and pink) Why I am friends with her I have no idea considering that she is my complete opposite. Anyway I saw this really cool picture on this gothic art website and decided that since it DID have a poodle in it she'd HAVE to like it. The picture was of a bloodstained poodle standing on top of a dead man eating him. I gave it to her and she was quite disgusted and upset..for some reason she felt sorry for the POODLE instead of the dead man, go figure. Anyway, it worked out because she got me a pink sweater for christmas and I hated it so we just switched presents. The poodle picture is now hanging over my bed. - PyroPrincezz

a potato they enjoyed it very much so- sceneboy

Good Answer AwardA rock, it rocked! He wasn't all that enthusiastic until I demonstrated all it's uses, including 'alien communication device', 'braincell re-distributor', and 'axylotl tank decor'.- Anna Phylaxis

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