: January 2005

Some guy comes to your door at 4am, screaming about some sort of glowing orb that is following him around. He falls to the ground, twitching and screaming until he goes silent. Your friend Gordon comes by then, and demands you start writing letters to large cities across the world to stop this sort of thing from happening. Confused, you demand to know why he wants you to do this. Gordon then disappears in a puff of smoke, and you realize that you have no friends named Gordon that looked like this guy. Now that you've obviously gone completely mad, what do you plan on doing with the crazy man's corpse?

This was a dream of yours wasn't it? I do that sometimes when I publish novels... most of my stuff is from dreams I have had... awesome. Yeah, the corpse... umm... Hey, that also sounded a little like Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes. You know? The guys all dying of 'heart attacks', then their bodies disappeaing? Classic stuff. What an awesome story line that has. Very playable. Too short though. In answer to the question, I'd do what I do in Metal Gear Solid - Pick up the corpse, go over to a locker in the middle of a [random] office and hide him inside. He would probably turn out to be a decoy though. - Mort

Well, firstly drag him out of sight of other people- I don't want it to get nicked. Then probably dress him up pretty and all; a bit of blush, some bling, cocktail dress and heels- you know what I'm about. Then take hi.. her downtown and give the pretty lady a night she'll never forget.- aliciaecm

I bury it in the neighbors' backyard so they will be convicted of killing this man, not me. Obviously I am insane and I probably killed him and think that he died without my help. Then I lock myself inside my house and act as normal as possible.- InsaneEvilBarbieMelter

He is an illusion, like Gordon. Therefore, moving him will do nothing. My unconcious mind will just put him back where i want a body the least. But, just in case, i feed him into my garbage disposal.- evapsychotic

Keep it in my fridge and perform experiments on it. Or sell it to Mort so that he can have sex with it.- Mzebonga

get my warlock out and a 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 wat amp and blow the fucker away MOSH!- Dark-Angel

I'd drag him over to the neighbor that I hate's backyard and watch with glee as the authorities drag him away in the morning - hufflebunny

Dead guy. Hmmmm gotta think about this one. Was the glowing orb radioactive? Oh, what do I care, let's make soup out of him.- bluemonkeyfearer

i want to touch him...a lot.- b_write

i would drag the body over to the neighbours and leave it for them to deal with because most neighbours are annoying anyhow- QM666

crazy is gooooood eatin'!!! I'd drag that crazy bastard into my place and start planning a holiday feast. Invite all my friends and say he's deer meat! Muahahahahaha- Poptart

Oh, well after reawaken desires of necropsy thanks to one of your latest articles, I've been meaning to rent the Dahmer and hannibal seris movie... and what a theme fun evening that'll be and I'll get some cannibals to come over... since I don't know any I'd just take any wacko homeless fellows that doesn't smell to much like urine and whatever b.o that may linger because it'll probably overtake the 12:00 finale of us burning the bodies while playing boner...tee hee... whoever collects most the bones out of the fire until your hands fall off or all the bones been picked, or the fire swallows them all, wins...and the names so gfun to say, makes me feel like a dog. I Also well fed em some of the meat, no one likes eating alone, cept I dont think sedative gay sex is the same when you smell as bad as them...so I'll leave that outand plus they loved being fed, so I bet it wouldn't matter what it was, or they'd even care to ask. Hobo Bill did once have a dog until a mysterious disected dog carcas was found in from of an laundary shop, what fummy fun that must of been. Ho heh! Oh and I would love to know the addresses of all the large cities in the world.. but honestly I've never been out of my house...I recieve the hobos since live(sometimes) nearby So I do a HOOOT and they usually run in a stampede, not sure who trained them that, but it works.- *Puff* And The question Disappeared.

Burn it then burying it in a cemetary where it belongs.- Blah

Not again!!!! This is the 15th time this month that this has happened to me. If anymore crazy guys, screaming about glowing orbs, die on my front porch I am going to seriously need a bigger backyard! -SmartestDumbBlonde You'llEverMeet

go back to sleep or get lit- lynchacop

i dunno....an orb? reminds me of the earthlink commercial where those 2 women are sittin there drinkin and that one mother is like...some of the other mothers and i concerned about that thing that's around your head and she's like o no it's not realy!!!! haha...maybe the orb was a figment of the dude's imagination...i dunno! but anyways gordan is just a gay name so i wouldnt wanna be known as gordans friend...- Sugar High Bunni123

This man obviously deserves a Viking Funeral.- voggit

...can't let a fresh corpse go to waste, might as well have sex with it.- j0eg0d

well I plan to take the corpse in and stick in my bath tub.. I then go out to see if there's any acid for sale anywhere.. I end up at walmart (since I'm poor) and buy something like citric acid and something flammable, and then something to clean up the mess later with.. and then the cleaning/getting rid of body starts..- SG*

Same thing I do with all of them. Sell their kidneys and forge notes to their parents.- weirdDAR

Autopsy it- Horse

well i would do like anyone else would do, chop it up and feed it to those annoying dogs next door.- SupraPhantom

well when he first came to the door i would tell him to put out the joint that he had positioned behind his ear, and would then completly erase the thoughts of myself going insane as the joint guy would have to deal with "gordon."- shwee

i would ring the police and tell them the crazy story on how he came to my house, and what he told me.- neveryoumind

since i had gone insane i would eat the dead mans corpse and then bury the bones in someones coffin in the graveyard- mrTaCo

hack it up and send it to people you hate....when you know theyve recieved and opened the parcel..call the police on them- silly bastard

Stick him in the glowing orb, run naked around the bush and fart on Santa's hat.- Crackmonkey

I plan on calling the prime minister's door mat sales man, he always knows where to hide a body. I once saw a train on the tip of his tongue, thats always a clue that you can hide the body of a man after hes been attacked by one of those wild native orbs...the fungus wont be able to find him under here...no no try the sausage factory, thats a real doosy...but Gordon said....listen son you forget what you saw here tonight or ill have to take you to bartender school with a seeing eye dog. Yes another purple pirate..<9 hours later> SHIT! Who threw up on grandma's towel, I'll have to hide this towel...I know, the prime minisiter's door mat sales man, he always knows where to hide a towel.- Uncle Phil

First, I name the corpse Gordon. I mean.. if I don't, in fact, have a friend named Gordon then I'm obviously missing out. I then take Gordon into my kitchen and sit him down comfortably with a pot of old green carrion. Yum yum. He will sit there for weeks, quietly decomposing whilst I sing him Spanish love songs. - blackdove

I would bring it inside my 54 room mansion and place it on the large banquet table then i would perform an autopsy on him and spread all his parts out across the table, label them and put them each in its own plastic baggie, then I would proceeed to place each one in a different room in the mansion. then I would make a magical circle and summon "gordon" who i have discovered through psychic means was really an interdimensional being that sought to humiliate me in front of the whole world and then use my priveledges to unlock it from the dusty crypt in the back yard and ravage the world, but i would summon it and send it to the desert. then I would look at the clock and see that it was time to take revenge on the scorpions of time and i would get into my intergalactic monkey ship and blast off to scorpio and blow up the evil scorpion empire with my bannana blasters.- thathinguywhois

Since I live in a dorm all I have to do is drag him to the trash room and put him head first in a trash can. The janitors should take care of him from there. Or launch an investigation, but I deny everything.- Oopa

hide it a the milk bottle- monkeybuttocks

Eating it.- Acidic Pandah

put pins through his hands n feet n put on a puppet show dosnt everybody do that??!?- klumperous

I'd inhale as much of the smoke as possible from Gordon first. After that, I'd run throgh the old man's pockets and take any valuables he might have on him. -me

Whoa, the orb guy died? This entire question was like a riveting story. I demand to know what happens next! Oh, shit, it's my job to continue it. Uh...I left the dead guy there all dead and made...crepes?- McDiablo

thats not my area,,,,,,i am GORDON.when they came and took rayyo77 away, i reappeared from the cigar he left smokeing in the ash tray,and have been enjoying his computer and stuff,AND hanging out with 'ol sock.i may move to this solar system and hang out a while .I HANG OUT IN PEACE.- rayyo77

I plan to cut it up and serve it to the neighbourhood.- Mathie

Since i really DON'T have a friend named Gordon, i'd name the dead guy's corpse Gordon, and drag him around town telling everyone, "Look, this is my friend Gordon."- SiNiSTaR

Well, if I leave it in by bedroom it'll start to smell eventually, so I'd cut it into lots of tiny pieces, and post one through every letter box on my road.- Superman Dave

sometimes this happens to me. only it's not Gordon, it's Merrick that comes to my door, and instead of smoke, he disappears into a cloud of shining metal confetti, and he wears thong underwear. now that i think about it, that was just a gay bar i went to.- Jenoah

I have a hell of a recipe, who's hungry?- Harbingerofhell

well i have a micro fridge in my dorm so i'd tray to stuff the body in there and cover it up with a piece of cardbord as so not to freak out my room mat until i find a suitable snowpile to burry it in- monkey butt

Well first, fuck Gordon and his fucking mind tricks. In fact, I hope that by some messed up physics wormhole thing, it's him who was in fact the crazy man. So now that Gordon is dead, I prop up his corpse and scream madly into his face for awhile. That would, at the very least, make me feel better about the whole thing. (Of course it wouldn't get rid of all the anger, but it does help.) Then I would carefully peel off all his skin and make myself a Gordon suit. Since Iím a chick, Iíd be sure to keep the dick in tact so I could see what itís like to have one of those things flopping around down there. Iíd probably then have to chop up his body and eat it so that I donít have to worry about being found out and arrested. What would be really twisted is if I put the Gordon suit on a mannequin and then fucked it. Damn, thatíd be pretty fucking sick, but hey, sometimes if you want to become famous you have to do shit like that. Iíd of course have to webcam the event and make some cash. - Ava Noir

Feed him to the hounds, they like stawberry flavoured men, especially with their wombat.- Cineworld Jesus

I wouldn't plan, I would just leap into action. First I'd grab a spade, then I would dig a hole in the back garden as quickly as possible, while its still dark. Then I would simply throw the body in and fill up the hole. Afterwards I'd probably act like nothing happened, although I'd probably not forget the experience.- Fleoa

let it sit there and go back to bed until i get up in the morning and then call the police telling them that my mother had killed a poor man becuz he wanted some sugar. - danni

"What to do... what to do..." I ask myself, while nervously drumming my fingers on my opposite arm. The answer suddenly comes to me in a flash of pink cake icing thrown at my face by some pervert. Yes! I now know what I must do!! The next day, Gordon reappears in front of me while I'm watching my favorite TV show, "Time Squad", which just happens to come on at 4am weekdays. Coinsidence?!? O.O "Hey," I shout at him, "Get the hell out of my house!" I throw an empty soda can at his face. He lets it go. He asks, "So what did you do with the mad man who was being followed by a gowing orb?" I smile sweetly and respond, "I ate him. Want some waffles?!?"- GalaxyDancer

I would stand there for a few minutes, contemplating my newly found insanity. After a while, I would realize that I have really been insane all my life. Then I would start to laugh and cry and scream and stomp on the corpse. Eventually, I would stop and realize that, since I am undoubtedly insane, I should take advantage of that fact and enjoy myself. Then I would light the corpse on fire and dance around in circles until they find me and take me away to a big room with nice, soft walls.- psychoticdragon

raping it brutally.- roger

chop it in to little pieces and feed it to pigs.- Kala

Burry him.- Kev-Man (GalaxyDancer's dorky brother)

Find a construction site and dump him in drying cement. If anyone asks: he got abducted by aliens.- Youdon'tseeme

bury and burn it then fertilize my yard with the ashes- chunky monkey

i thought u said he turned into smoke??- juggalo13

cut it in to small pieces and supplement my diet over the next few weeks - ugh!- dewi

I'd open him up looking furiously for the glowing orb.. lets see... its not in the birds head... it follows things... maybe If i tore his skin off wear it as a coat trick the glowing orb to come back and follow him again I can snatch it and look at something that glows... ooo glow... or these glow sticks could do just fine and me and him will make passionate necrophilia by the florescent flicker of glow sticks, okay.. well... better get at it before the flies try the have sex with me to..- Steammy

Close my door lock it and call 911 tell them some stranger is at my front door who might be dead and to take care of it. I tell my roomate what happened leaving out the Gordon part and wait untill the cops arrive. I tell them what happened leaving out the Gordon part as well. Then go back to bed. - Mavis

eat it.- keli_weli(back again!)

His name was Gordon! I'd fucking leave his ass there and then dance around it.- idon'tmindthesunsometimes

bury it-Andy

Get my mother and figure out what to do from there.-Khaki

Bury it, and use whatever cash he has on body to start a letter writing campaign. Tomorrow.-Eva Dominatrix

Who am I to waste a perfectly good nighttime snack? -I'd cook it and eat it of course-December

Main : Articles : Lists : Interviews : Stories : Questionnaire : Killing the Sims : Insane Q&A :
: About Us : FAQs : New & Updated :

*This site contains material that is intended to offend some viewers. Viewer discrection is advised.*
All content (c)TheInsaneDomain & respective writers. SPREADING INSANITY SINCE 1996!