Results for October 2005

What if you woke up one day and even though the species is extinct,
a large Dodo bird was pecking away at your face?

Shave it.-Autumn

Well simon hasn't done it in a while, so I'd realise it WAS a Dodo, I would grab it by it's scrawny (?) neck and make it wear a tuxedo, whereupon I will take it for a weekend in Tunisia, for a long training session with a Tunisian Squirrel farmer on the irragation systems used since the nile stopped flooding Eygpt. After this we will fly to Nepal, where Neo from the Matrix will play us at Chess, and lose due to the Dodo's canny mind and ability to think moves ahead of the game. When we return to England I'll cry because I realised I forgot to let go of the bird's neck and had actually strangled the last Dodo, so I hollow out it's exploded brain and feed it to SIMON telling him it's my version of his delicious Tuna Pasta bake. Fucking Dodos. You could have done better than that! :P -George

I'd say "Uncle Ronny, are you playing dress up again?" -PyroPrincezz

i would say "damn it patton ur spose to lick me not bang me in the head" patton is my puppy ^_^-Ishkabilly

I'd use it to get rich.-Xara

It'd be time to start a chicken fry! Mmm Mmmm good!-Junkie Deluxe

Fuck the bird ......and the one who coined this Qn-sanam

i would be screaming-Georgies m8 Grace

I'd have to beat it sensleless !!! then sell it on Ebay !!! -Poptart

i would kindly ask it to stop and if it didnt i would be eating bird for dinner-Insaneone

I'd settle down and smoke another Funny fag.-Bob Marley Vs Chubster Deluxe

I'd flail and yell, "Frankestein! I told you, no clones in the bedroom!" -Red

I would assume that I had been sucked into a vortex. Since the Dodo has been extinct for a while I would assume that I was in negative existence and that all my belongings were caught in some strange time warp constantly playing the Beegees and Blondie with Dolly Parton thrown in there for good measure. Or else the Dodo could represent my Freudian desires for my repressed sexual past; a subconscious projection of a phallus, stabbing away at my face...-Turtle

i would have to kill it-nana

i would shoot my face to get it off.-Haiso

i'd kick its ass and have it for dinner.-SiNiSTaR

I would wonder what had prompted such an interesting dream. If they're extinct, the only logical expanation would be that I was dreaming. Therefore I would do some reality checks, which would fail...go into the lucid dreaming state and do an experiment to study the concept of shared lucid dreams. Hmm...telepathic communication.-bluemonkeyfearer

would be freaked out-gecko

i would scream and keep it secret and keep it as my pet and earn loads of money having the one of its species-Tasha

I would scream and probably hit it with a pillow and then yell for my dad and run out of the room, it would be chasing me wouldn't it?-Helen

I would scream and hit it with a bat.-Becca

id tell it to get the fuck off me then eat it for breakfast.-juggalette trip

Last night I dreamed of chickens, there were chickens everywhere. they were standing on the dresser, they were nesting in my hair... last night i dreamed of a dodo bird, and there was an egg on my stomach.... I don't know how they bred, but it tasted really good with green eggs and ham.... and some cheese.-b_write

I'd twat the fucker with bad language and Sambooka-Tazmanic

oh my gosh i would past out and die and shit. Naw i dont know what i would do i dont think well if i am not under pressure.-4pLaYbAbE

I'd kill it-Flex

i would push it away and then take a picture of it. then feed it and name it and call it mine forever.-NonameFuckwit

I'd wipe the blood off my face, tug my eyeball out of the bird's beak and then befriend it soon after. I'd name it Smartly Pretty (thank you, Teen Girl Squad) because who wants to live being known only as a Dodo? That word is just filled with negative judgements. No one needs that, not even a supposedly extinct bird.-McDiablo

I'd jam it into a bag and then chain him up and make him paint me bizarre pictures. We'd get rich off his artwork. He'd be MY dodo bird and NO ONE else would be allowed near him.-MyTheoryOnTheTRex

I would probablly kill myself a dodo!-Tracie

I'd strangle it (survival instinct) before I knew I found or well that the last dodo bird alive found me, and put it back into extinction. Then I would roast it up and sell the cooked meat on ebAy! But everyone will think its one of those stupid joke auctions and bid ridiculously high... but I'd truley have it and demand they pay that price, then put a law suit against them if they don't... but not recieving pay as it clearly defines in the outline for ebay is a risk... I'd eat the rotten dodo meat in the end and then focus my effort in trying to donate the stuffed dodo head to the local musuem... only to be cast aside as a fool. I'd end up aimlessly wandering the world as "the fool whom believes to have the last known dodo bird" and run around with tiny bits of its rotten meat in a jar and stuff head... trying to convince strangers that it really is the last known dodo bird and try to tell the story of how it turned up in my bed.-Yes, I like the butter.

CHICKEN!!! Hell, I'd pluck the fucker and BBQ his bird ass. Serve it with some salad and some slaw...yum.-CasualFatality

i'd ask the Dodo bird would like to join me for a coffe and a cigarette-bubbles


try to kill it-brynn

Dodo Gumbo.-mywifehatesme

I'd prolly smack it with a pillow, hand cuff the damn bird to my bed and begin the long painful interrogation process as to who sent him to torment me, why he was sent to torment me, and how he got in to my bedroom and passed my fearless watchdog, a miniature weinie dog named Sadie.-The Bubble

i would capture it, sell it for a large sum of money, and then use the money to buy a statue of myself with a dodo, showing how i saved the dodo race, and how manly i am.-Kevin

I would coo and awwww at it for a while, ask if I can share in it's bounty then laugh when it says yes. Then of course in true pirate style I'd lock the dodo in a crate and burry him alive, thus leaving allll the meat on my face for my own consumption. MWAAHAHAH. What? It worked in preschool.-Nelson


It would also be facing away from my pecker, right? I'd ram my cock up it's arse. Good Mooooorning Dodo!!!!-The Dildo Lama

Jump on his back and ride him! Woooooo-Whooooooooo! Dodo bird away!!! -Bubba

i would freak out and run to my parents room and tell them-pookie12

i would get up really fast-DumbassNameless

I would hug it and squeeze it and then have it shot because of that bird flu thing that is making everyone crazy because it might kill a few kids and some old biddies. Sorry, Dodo, I'd like to see you back but the stupid media has got me worked up about some disease or other that probably won't amount to shit at the end of the day.-Mzebonga

Hell, it beats paying a plastic surgeon 30,000 dollars for a new face lift! Now, I'm having my face lifted off by a Dodo bird for free! Oh, what a wonderful world!-idontmindthesunsometimes

I'd call a meuseum, and tell them I had a dodo skeleton. Then I'd have me some barbeque! Mmm mmm! Dodo steaks!-TheKMan

Yeah, what if.-snugglebug

i would cry seeing as im terrified of large birds-crazy

cacth tha bitch-0704 klown

I'd grab it and bring it with me to asses the damage, do the same to it, then set it free to roam in my backyard.-Blank

id eat it to see what it tastes like-the mighty chief

dont understand that-Slapper

I'd be like 'w''t''f'? And then i would eat him...-Prune

I'd be in pain. Then I would precede to beat it up because it sucks.-Fayke

i would kick its ass-shea

i'd brake its neck-jo

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