Results for November 2005

While sorting through some socks, it became apparent that there are a lot that are missing their mate. Are the socks killing each other off so that there can be only ONE of each sock or is there something more sinister going on that we should all know about?

Know your just smoking too much krack - scottie

I think they're are getting into lovers spats and one is walking out on the relationship. Socks have an inate fear of committment for some reason. You'd think they'd be more comfortable because they've had a mate since birth, but maybe that's the problem. Maybe they just get sick of each other, and one of them gets the house.- me

Well there goes my theory that all socks can't live without there sockmate. *hangs head* Damn!!!! Okay new theory time. I think...that socks are getting in on the italians favorite pasttime. Mobs. Every kind of sock is a different mob and they keep killing off members of there family (or there other sock) because they want control of the mob. Course it's still only a theory. - PyroPrincezz


It is exactly what it looks like... Sock on sock violence has gone on for too long now! We must stand up as a society of sock lovers and preach peace to our stinky little friends.- Junkie Deluxe

It's my pet martian stealing them for his sock collection.- Xara

Since the end of world war two socks from various nations have been envolved in brutal and bloody combat, fighting each other for the grand prize (A speedboat or the contents of the mystery box). Random consciption screenings mean that no-one's socks are safe from this dreaded fate, as the differant tribes vie for control of the speedboat with it's five gear interface and it's plush leather seats.- George

The answer is simple: HERBERT- Poptart

The sock grimlin. He/She/It takes random socks out of the dryer or your drawer and plays with them, often depositing them in odd places like the fridge or back in the dryer with a load of darks.- Bluesman

nope, nothing sinister there. be honest now, sock don't kill each other, they're not alive...that little monster living behind the washing machine gets them, eats em, and laughs at you when you say "dude there isn't a match to this sock. Oh I found one, oh wait, no...". everybody knows that.- Dracula's Bride

I've always assumed the remaining sock as the evil twin, because evil always wins.- j0eg0d

Murdering socks? I could reason with that... I mean the feet is not the most pleasant human apparatus to be stuck on, nor the penis... But killing off there partner really ups the ratio of them being used a masturbation glory tool for the male. Maybe they like that, getting to see things almost eye level... well, hip level, get to sit back watch some conspicuous films, porn, porn... and maybe a episode golden girls, or cheers... couple minuets of wasted time on a crappy showcase movie where no sex or nudity as promised has happened. Or maybe these are new fangled socks who want to be independent bachelors and, instead of being winded up with there duplicate, to smooze and swim around in the sock drawer... under your bed... engaging in wild heartless sex with moth balls, stinky back-alley t-shirts... Hm, After going through much thought on this matter I've come to the conclusion that socks are nymphomaniacs, they need more then one partner... and if our feet must suffer the consequences then sandals it is... or gut the sock moneys and stick them in there!- Guntip

i think the socks are killing each other- kurt

this is very simple, the answer is.....yes! It is a well known fact that sock get green with envy whever they see a tie. Tie's are always on display for everyone to see, they are admiered and people even stroke them! However sock never get this type of attention and this upset them, causeing many to have a nervous break down, killing then eating there spouse! Its true, try puttng a few ties in your sock draw, see what happens- sneaky sneaky

No.- Malice

Herbert! It was Herbert! the shoes must have gotten lonely, and Herbert stole my socks so that the tennis shoes and sandals can have new friends.- bluemonkeyfearer

I think they're running away with my missing earrings.- PRchick

I sure hope socks aren't killing each other because then poor Emerald could be at risk! Death by sock! Oh well, I'm sure she could open a can of ninja woop-ass on any psychotic socks. The socks are probably just running away for purposes of, well, freedom. Who the hell would want to surround a stinky foot all day? I certainly wouldn't want to be stuffed into an equally stinky shoe. Day after day socks must endure near suffocation, claustrophobia and, again, a vile stench. There is probably a hidden sock kingdom somewhere just waiting to be discovered. I'm sure washing machines are abundant there...and a grand statue of the sock god (made from lint, of course).- McDiablo

This is simply the rare form of sock-cancer at work yet again.- MagicalNinja

yes-there is an evil plot led by aliens from the 14th planet { past uranus } to collect one sock of every kind to be saved for future generations. the fact that only one of each kind is being saved, and that they cannot breed by themselves is a scientific truth beknownst only to the inhabitants of our planet. what type of retribution we could expect for not sharing information with this life-form is unfathomable at the present time. payback IS a bitch.- braindeficientsue

i think that you are afucking douche! go fuck yourself and you stupid sock monkeys! im so mad because these jocks at my scholl made me eat their shit - pussy fart

It's probably Herbert stealing the damned things, AGAIN! I've warned him about that but he just giggles away.- JCP

There is no evidence to confirm or deny your allegations but I choose to believe that they are. I always like the idea of these secret, blood-thirsty wars that are being waged under our noses. Just imagine a platoon of socks moving against a completely identical platoon: flanking manoeuvres in the underpants drawer, guerilla hit and fades from within the T-Shirts before returning peacefully to the sock drawer for morning foot deployment.- Mzebonga


one of them decided to live their life on anthony kiedis' penis, and the others are contemplating puppetry- aleta kajika

missing socks seeks new partners. they are not monogamous as we assume them to be. - porkyporkpork

Well, in case you didn't know, you've obviously become the victim of the dreaded sock monster. He eats socks.- TheKMan

yes, the sock monkeys are becoming angry. tou have been neglecting then and they seek revenge all they want is a bit of love. if u do not give them a bit mor attention they will attack your socks even more because they are jelouse of them. soon you will end up with no matching socks so beware, give your sock monkeys some tlc.- randomness_queen

Well most people already know socks are aliens from Neptune, and when humans are put near to each other they kill each other, so why can't aliens?- Fleoa

i have no idea- no name

Yes. Unbeknownst to scientists and paleontologists, socks have actually evolved. They used to be such passive and quiet beings from outer space that arrived tens of millions of years ago. However, because of natural selection, only the strong survive. They tend to like dark, quiet places such as drawers. Sometimes, they eat each other. I am referring to sock cannabilism. This is a very real and grave danger. Please douse your socks in holy water to keep the sock demons from returning also.- dungle

when you buy chicken legs and thighs,have you noticed they are all ,LEFT LEG,or RIGHT LEG???!!!where are all the one legged CHICKENS AT????!!!!! - rayyo77

probably they were emo socks and decided they hated life and killed themselves ,no... it's the most probable answer or maybe my dog is eating them..or just maybe someone's doing it to piss me off.- Not Ha- -Des

Its actually a conspiracy by the sock monkeys ordered by their sock monkey king in an attempt to propagate their existance. Every pair you lose is hand fornicated into the sock monkeys we know and that will someday rise and SMITE the non believers down. - Iamzbob

Aliens.- Coopster

I HATE,HATE,HATE & ONCE MORE HATE angelina joli!!!!!!!She is such a fake BITCH,piece of SHIT,ASSwipe!!!She shouln't die,she should be totured for weeks starting with her plastic,DISGUSTING fake lips,tearing them off piece by piece,he-he!Men carry on & on about the FUCKING ugly stupid BITCH,they're just as pethetic,they just don't care that she's so fake & had so much plastic surgery they might as well be freaking out over a Barbie!She's so stupid & ugly,really,before I knew who she was I always thought "She's so ugly.".She really is a monster,dosn't care about poor Jenifer Aniston,she's really nice & look what she did to her.- Terminator

yes- Tara

The washing machine eats them- ml

It's neither, a majic little gremlin appears when he hears our clothes dryers running and steals only one of each. It's his own little way of sticking it to the man.- King Jimothy

The sock-mates really have entered a loop-hole, and have reappeared in the underwear drawer.- Manda

socks are small so they get lost easily- natalieg

The socks are clearly weeding themselves out....slowly and the others are under your bed creating their very own sock army, that once big enough will tie themselves together, tie you to your bed while you're sleeping and then proceed to stuff themselves into various orafices of your body. - SarahG

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