: May 2005

As you're walking down the street, a man approaches you and begins to tell you the tale of his purple koala that ran away and broke his heart. He somehow knows your name and keeps saying it over and over as he follows you down the street. He then says that YOU are the koala that he's talking about. Giving you a handful of sparkly noodles, he asks you to go climb some trees with him. What do you do now?

I climb some damn trees. Man that was fun when I was a kid. I still do it now sometimes so, for some sparkly noodles, I'm all his.- Mzebonga

As we climb further and further, I snack on the noodles because I'm most likely to eat anything that anyone gives me. I would then randomly turn into this purple koala, because if you think about it, koala's are cute and soft, and purple is the color of gayness. So it would all make perfect sense for me to adapt to my lovers wishes. But no fear, I reek of morphine and a type of stetson cologne. Only attracting more koalas. So as we sit in the tree watching the sun set, with my katana sword slung over my shoulder, I cut off the mans head. And then have random sex with the other koalas. It's such a great life you know...- b_write

Ooh....sparkly noodles! Sure, I can be a purple koala. I like to climb trees. This works. Though...it is a bit strange. I think it would be a bit difficult for ANYONE to repeat "Bluemonkeyfearer" over and over. It's quite a name.- bluemonkeyfearer

I'll eat the sparkly noodles and share my sparkly mushrooms with him. Then we'll go climb some trees until the police shoot us out of them.- Junkie Deluxe

Tell him to climb the tree first and then using my stealthy Lumberjack uniform cut down the tree and laugh at his demise and steal his noodles and his car. Unfortunately his car is french and I die.- Cineworld Jesus

the man is obviously a disciple of the space god KELDON. i accept his invitation for it might be a chance at greater enlightenment. i try to explain my stories to the authorities who are searching for a child molester, saying that this brilliant man is cursed with the face of ever sinning man in existence simultaneously. they say that michael jackson is late for his court hearing again and need to change out of his pajama pants.- JAG

I'd tell Mr. Jackson that he's late for court.- j0eg0d

I am? *looks at body* *body transforms to purple koala fur* AHHHH He turned me into a purple koala!!! I woudl run away and climb up a tree after stealing the sparkly noodles. Evilness- PyroPrincezz

RUN..... then go climb trees with him if he can catch me. - bug

kick his ass and then once he has been K.Oed take him to the hospital and tgell the doctors you just found him in the middle of the street- nane

take the noodles and climb up the tree then when he turns around BAM! sparkly noodle shuriken to the eyes!- Punk as fuck

I personally would be flattered that some one considers me their loving purple koala. That's a compliment you just don't hear everyday. This man obviously loves me (he offered me sparkly noodles, for chrissake!), so I would most defintely climb trees with him. Hell, I'd probably end up banging him too. The sparkly noodles get me every time.- idon'tmindthesunsometimes

smack him in the mouth- Zizzle

yell and call him a crck adict!- micky

shit, i'd climb the tree. then i'd take his sparkly noodles and turn them into rope- hes clearly trippin on something, he wont know the differnce. id sneakily, like a quiet bunny, tie him to the tree and demand that he tell me everything about the koalas. ask him if hes circumsized! steal his hear away and take it to afar. i'll feed it to a puruple koala.- Morshada

Stand dumb-founded with my mouth agape for as long as it takes for this man to go away, then write a blog about it.- The Populist

eat the motherfucking sparkly noodles, maybe I'll trip like him.- freak ninja

I'd climb a few trees just to make him happy, but then I'd have to pull a quick one and say, "Whoa, isn't that your koala over there?!" and high tail it out of there. I will then spend the next few months very paranoid that the dude will find me again and yell...very loudly.- McDiablo


How I long to be a purple koala. He just doesn't tell the whole story. The fact of the matter is, he abused me with those damn sparkly noodles. He'd get them wet and beat me with them and that's why I ran away. *sniffles* I didn't mean to break his heart. If he was giving me the noodles and not beating me with them, then yes, I'd go climb trees with him. If he hits me with those damned noodles, I'll rip his eyes out. *smiles sweetly*- monkeeskittles

Well, I'm go R18 on this one, and use material from an actual event. So I give that event it's due because I found it so amusing. I politely say, "Okay Mister" and proceed to follow him up into a tree. When we are at a fair height I pull out a rope and say, "Excuse me Mister, but you aren't being very safe in this tree, no no no not safe at all." Then tie a rope to the branch he is sitting on, and to his ankles. I then pronounce, "Have a nice trip!" And push him, so he is hanging upside down in the tree. I then stuff the sparkly noodles in his arse, cut off his balls, and then stuff his balls in his mouth. I then take a few pictures and select one for a new advertisement. Seeing someone in a bar give you a few looks... 3$ Watching that person stalk you, calling home via cell phone to say you might be late home because someone is stalking you but that you'll be alright and not to worry. 6$ The result of the stalker approaching you with some cockamaimy story *pic* Priceless Mitre 10 - Buy your rope here.- Xemil

beat him up and tell him to get lost- dumbo

I've always wanted sparkly noodles, and I could use some exercise... so I'd probably go with his goofy ass to climb trees.- MonkeyMaster

i'm taking him to the zoo, don't know why, though- Grisuderdrache

down the noodles and climb on his back i wake up days later in the middle of a field naked with a bamboo stick up my ass- eyesofruby

I tell him he's full of shit, and remind myself to take off my name tag after work next time.- Hufflebunny

go climb trees, and throw the sparkly noodles at him.- ishlike

Go ahead with it because the chances are, i'm the one of the acid trip.- Mokai

eat the noodles and climb those trees!- charlie

take the noodles and run.- Sky

I Tell him 2 get lost n tke the sparkly noodles and climb trees wiv an attractive sock monkey.....- Jadey and Holli

i would wait until the forth of july and fuse the sparky noodles onto his balls and tell everyone that they are free sparklers..that are worth a million cahunas on the black market jsut so that they would pull and pull no them to get them from him.. that would teach him for taking my koala pornos that seriously..i mean hes friggin insane...i just needed the money to buy more hair dye!- nican mclew

Get naked and start the revolution- MyChemicalChaos

Punch him in the head and tell him to lay off the Acid- Cutebutcrazy69

kick hi in the groin, steal the sparkly noodles n feed them to my purple twin koala and fart on ba loaf of bread that im going to gove to the ducks in the local pond- IOAF

tell him that I'm cheating on him with an iguana, and be really apologetic.- jezka



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