: March 2005

Aliens arrive one day and demand that you are the 'chosen one' they must bring back to their planet. You're allowed to bring two friends, a bag of stuff, and some flavored popcorn (even if you don't like it). Do you fake your own death (and your friends) before leaving, leave a note, or just leave without any sort of notice? Also, what flavor of popcorn do you take with you (even if you don't like it)?

Excellent! Christa and Mike are going with me! (Even if Mike refuses, which I know he will, then I will also bring a cattle prod as his incentive to go with me.) I will take strawberry-kiwi flavored popcorn, and lots of cheese. I think I will enjoy being the chosen one.- bluemonkeyfearer

I leave with no notice. (period) popcorn = caramel, DUH- Thag

me??? chosen one ??? of course im the chosen one...the aliens chose me didnt they!!! of course i fake my death for insurance purposes and i take fizzpop flavoured popcorn for that spacy taste!- Quaid

Ranch, and I I only have two people who would need to know.- Kitty

Leave multiple notes: Truth for those I love, for those I hate a note saying "it's all your fault, you made me do this, I hope you're sorry" etc etc. Popcorn flavour: bbq.- sarah_the_monkey

I'd just leave a note to my parents and 25 cats saying "Jesus hath come to take me away to his Kingdom in Heaven - see ya suckas!". In my bag of stuff: laptop full of porn to amuse the aliens, ipod with 50,000 songs, half of which i won't even listen to, a change of underwear, and my lucky charm (little rainbow pendant). Popcorn? Chicken popcorn - aliens get high on that shit.- SiNiSTaR

Fake mine and my husband's death, bring along carmel popcorn. - qualude

I'd take my friend Michele and my friend Eric, leave a note saying we'll be back tomorrow night, bring white cheese flavored popcorn, and a bag of "stuff", the "stuff" being a jar of vic's vapor rub, make up, tooth brush, hair brush, condoms, pacifier, candy, undies, socks, and a thermus filled with Ecstasy.- The Bubble

Well, finally it seems a years training in a cinema has done it for me - my popcorn making skills have Jedi-like finesse, and I can make many a variety of flavours, from salted popcorn, to sweet popcorn - In fact I can only make these two flavours... However in my bag of stuff (and my two friends) I find a job lot of arsenic (it's one of those things, like tissues, you always need it) and make arsenic flaoured popcorn (allowing sufficient time for my oil to melt - it pays to be safe) and poison the aliens, who die.- Cineworld Jesus

I'd leave a note that says send more popcorn, and leave with some BBQ flavored popcorn.- j0eg0d

Well I think it'd be dramatic if me and my two friends all dyed a traumatic sort of death by killer tree or something before we left. After everyone freaked out sufficiently I would leave them a note saying "ha ha I'm not dead u morons and your never going to find me". I would take...super duper drowned in butter popcorn. Whether my friends like it or not!!- BoredBlondChick

Fake my own death. I would bring cheese flavored popcorn! (mmm) - Franny

Leave a note detailing exactly what happened last time I was abducted by aliens, just to confuse them. then bugger off with butter-flavoured (not butter-flavored as made in america) popcorn.- Sven the Masseur

fake a suicide/murder and bring dill pickle flavored popcorn- pixiepunkgurl

Just leave without any sort of notice and i would take the carmel and strawberry stuff.- freaky people2

Well if i'm the chosen one i aint goin no where. i am the "chosen one" so bow ur alien ass down to me. and since i dotn like popcorn i demand you to shove it all up michael jacksons ass. - monkeymonkey69

I'd take Alix of course and just because we've been hanging out so much Chatlin of course. Yeah we'd fake out own death I'd have us do that. I would take movie theater butter popcorn. That stuff is so good, it's like halleluya!!!!- Bubblegum

No, I don't fake my own death. Afterall, I might be back one day. I'd leave a note, but it wouldn't try to explain anything - just directions for what to do with my things and last sentiments. Caramel flavored popcorn.- redwoxer

why leave just bring it with you or if you don't have friends blow it up. CHEESE!!!!!!- shane a.k.a. McClane

Just leave cheesy- Heartoman05

Leave a note, and bring the white cheddar popcorn.- Marky-Mark

I kill the aliens and use their spaceship to fly to their planet and take it over.- InstantOatmeal

(being the Chosen One would rock, does anyone else love Kung Pow?) I would leave a note saying I was off to liberate an alien race( or to become an asshole king depending on what they want. I would bring butter flavored popcorn. - The Teenage Mutant Ninja Gerbil

It would be best to just leave without any notice. Afterall, I've got much to do and wasting time on a good explanation for my sudden disappearance is the least of my concern. I would probably go with cheddar popcorn, because it's simple, and I have a feeling this "chosen one" mission is going to make things a lot fuckin' complicated to where I'll appreciate my simplified choice of popcorn.- weirdDAR

I'd take salt popcorn, but I'd need a large Pepsi to go with it because that shit makes you thirsty. And I wouldn't fake my own death at all, I'd leave a not simply saying: "I'm the Messiah: I told you I was better than you".- Mzebonga

I would make a potato sculpture of me and my friends and tell the aliens that they are the true "Chosen ones" and if i had to go anyways, i would take Blood-Flavored popcorn cuz its yummy.- Property_of_City_Morgue

I would fake my death and my friends because I have no clue what the aliens are going to do with me. If I did go I would bring very buttery popcorn but I wouldn't go.- CountryGal4711

if ive got no choice in the matter no note fuck everybody. and i would take shit flavored popcorn and tell the aliens it will make their dicks bigger- ntzdrgn

I wouldn't fake my own death.. It's so much more exciting to leave the case unsolved. That way people can make up their own minds.. In fact, I'd leave a note saying that I was hiding, waiting to jump out and scare someone. That way they'd always be on guard. I'd take beef flavoured popcorn since beef is the kind of all meats and meat is the king of all food.- Turtle

I'll take caramel popcorn, why not? That shit always tastes stale, but whatEV! I think it'd be fun to fake my own death, but that would make my family very sad. I'd also feel guilty 'cuz I'm a sensitive daughter of a gun. I'd probably leave a note that says: "Gone to Gurghlamack [or whatever the planet's called]. Be back soon!"- McDiablo

i would just shoot myself. cinimon popcorn.- yingman09

Hell yeah I'd fake my own death. Then I could come back to earth without an identity and kill everyone. No-one would care and they never would suspect that it was me. POWER TO THE ALIENS, WE WILL UNITE.- Mort

Well...being labeled as "the chosen one" is very flattering, even if you're not an ego-tripper. I wouldn't fake my own death (though I could think of some interesting ways to day...hmmm). I would instead just disappear and leave everyone thinking where I've gone (like they'd care anyway, the bastards). And, I would take cheddar cheese flavored popcorn...I like cheddar cheese flavored popcorn. It doesn't stick to your teeth like the caramel does.- idon'tmindthesunsometimes

fake a car bomb and strawbery- clagsniper.x2

I'd be confused as I had none of the things in the allowed item list... them I'd accuse them of demeaning me and spit on thier home planet... but since its a demand... force will be resorted for my chosen oneness is to be ambiguosly important, I could be chosen to be a theater attended and they were short of one bag of flavoured popcorn until the manufactures sent in a new shipment... So I'd bring dill pickle, hydrogenated, with full unorganic butter, and just know those hearst attacks will come in mere moments of there filthy life times. - Gargling Ingie Ingie

I'd argue that "chosen one" shanadigan... as they demanded that i was, I'd insist I wasn't and that they'd must of mistaken me for someone else... and I'm the chosen one for this planet and I came from a differnt planet after being demanded here by the earth people. AND that I am all tired of immigrating through the solar system and had a hard enough time adjusting here on earth.. after the rectal exam and everything. I'd give in after some more whinying and demanding... and whining from me, demanding from them... la da da, until I give in and I "depart to collect my items", then thats when I would jump into a bomb shelter and sit.. wait... sit...and wait for about 3 years.. then return to a new world of complete destruction because since the aliens didn't get the chosen one they got pretty pissed and waged war... so that means I'd have free dibs on all shit and will eat any surviors who get in my way, no rule governing, all how, baby. I would of took nacho if I went... I heard that shit could sustain an enture century without going bad... you know, in case it was a long trip.- Spitting Tit

 

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Submitted on: Wed Mar 30 12:47:50 2005
pocketsquirrels: jump in a pond
popcorn: fake a car bomb and strawbery
ironmonkey: walk inside and get my trusty rpg
talentshow: i could do the numa numa dance
herbert: oncomeing trafic
- clagsniper.x2

Submitted on: Thu Mar 31 15:43:59 2005
pocketsquirrels: This is my death, my death! what do you think I'd do strip off all my clothes run rampant in the streets with squirrels all over my face, chewing near vital viens and organs I presume... I wouldn't be panicking for anyone to take the squirrels off me... cus i planned on doing this anyway before i died... I'd attack ever pedestrian until I stop a car and hijaack it... crash it, being unable to see with the squirrels and all... continue onto a store eat everthing I can... deficate on the counter and Laugh "Ring mE Up!" at the cashier, then I'd run into a park dig my own grave.. fall in, then realize I wanted to be cremated.. climb back out... go for a nude jog, sit down on a park bench, have a cat nap... wake up ask someone for a light or better yet steal one, then set myself on fire... all the while squirrels chewed at my face... I can do that all in near seconds...
popcorn: I'd be confused as I had none of the things in the allowed item list... them I'd accuse them of demeaning me and spit on thier home planet... but since its a demand... force will be resorted for my chosen oneness is to be ambiguosly important, I could be chosen to be a theater attended and they were short of one bag of flavoured popcorn until the manufactures sent in a new shipment... So I'd bring dill pickle, hydrogenated, with full unorganic butter, and just know those hearst attacks will come in mere moments of there filthy life times.
ironmonkey: I'd ask for identification, certificate of authinticity..... with it not spelling that way on the form..... ask him for proof of the wrestling team.. such as awards or badge, after this interogation the monkey would be confused and feel aggrovated and resort to the only action he knows to resort to which is punishment... hurt... RRAARRR, this is when i respond by running in the streets and screaming, DO YOU HAVE A WARRANT OF MISBEHAVIOUR ON ME?.... over and over until the iron monkey beats me up ...and I file a lawsuit that becomes settled for 2000 rolls of wrapping paper... i didnt say i wasn't interested in the wrapping paper, it was a little over priced though.
talentshow: I'd quote the first page book of grade one puns while sitting in a CHAIR, you know to rev up the crowd, then on one foot as I touch a fat mans hairy belly I'd run though the trigonometric functions which I'd make up on the spot... bow out then throw candles into the the crowd to distract them from me escape of being pumuled...... you need both for that kind of act.
herbert: Herbert has an empty bed waiting for him already of course he'd be welcomed... in any bed actually... but i can't promise i'd get out of mine... although he can go in ANY bed... I mean while I'm in that bed I don't mind company, Not to drink tea and gossip but if that does it for him... I mean whomever the company is in my bed, where as herbert can come to bed... in any bed in my home, that contains two beds..I mean I wouldn't kick him out for spilling a little jizz in unconventional place or even conventional ones........ I mean..... heh.... my bed.... heh... herbert?
- Gargling Ingie Ingie

Submitted on: Thu Mar 31 18:31:43 2005
pocketsquirrels: Attack thier faces, now usually i don't practise animal brutality but in a life or death situation, I'd make the exception. I'd probably bite their tiny heads off one by one and then lift the half built nest out and bite it in half then... spit it out, unless it has a good taste, never had squirrel head a la nest, so who knows? Problem taken care of yet again. *pats self on back*
popcorn: I'd argue that "chosen one" shanadigan... as they demanded that i was, I'd insist I wasn't and that they'd must of mistaken me for someone else... and I'm the chosen one for this planet and I came from a differnt planet after being demanded here by the earth people. AND that I am all tired of immigrating through the solar system and had a hard enough time adjusting here on earth.. after the rectal exam and everything. I'd give in after some more whinying and demanding... and whining from me, demanding from them... la da da, until I give in and I "depart to collect my items", then thats when I would jump into a bomb shelter and sit.. wait... sit...and wait for about 3 years.. then return to a new world of complete destruction because since the aliens didn't get the chosen one they got pretty pissed and waged war... so that means I'd have free dibs on all shit and will eat any surviors who get in my way, no rule governing, all how, baby. I would of took nacho if I went... I heard that shit could sustain an enture century without going bad... you know, in case it was a long trip.
ironmonkey: I'd challenge him to a wrestling match and see if he'd know what to do... after it being evident of him not having a clue how to wrestle, since he didn't even go, like I to did and put on those tight tight taunt spandax pants and well top, since I didn't know him that well... It be all to apparent that I caught him at his own game... then buy the wrapping paper anyways since my wall decor is composed of wrapping paper and plastic plates, nails and glass bottles... I like to redecorate now and then, you know, just gotta keep it prim and trim in a none homicidal maniac way. heh. what are you looking at... what...
talentshow: I'd bring my "stunt double" for my "trick" and wait for my "spot", cus I am definatly dieing to perform ... my "actual performance" that is "ready". Then go to the washroom and crap out a few outrageous long diareha interludes... that last the entire show... and i miss my bit... while the stunt double sits.. looking identical to me and one door remains locked through the entire show in the bathroom stall and being so embaressed about my er smell and spillage I climb through the window... after i already missed my bit, of course.
herbert: only if he'd respect my shoes and avoid staining them with semen, if this isn't avoided, then its out on the tail and pink rectum yet again... but if he does avoid it I just know a love affair will sprout and every night passionate love will be created in the shoe closet with all his shoes! and i guess battling over him masturbating with shows and momma landlord getting some sweet attention.
- Spitting Tit

Submitted on: Thu Mar 31 19:27:32 2005
pocketsquirrels: break there necks
popcorn:
ironmonkey:
talentshow:
herbert:
- rizzo