: February 2005

While crawling around on the floor (admit it, you do it for fun when no one is looking) you find a magic wand. (You know it's a magic wand just by looking at it, it's that magical.) Now that you have this wand, do you find yourself a fancy costume to wear before you take over the planet, as well as plan an elaborate scheme to announce your evil plan to the world?

First and foremost, I would hold an elaborate mass meeting/fancy dress party for the Cats with silver platters of salmon and as much catnip as they can handle, then decide on the most entertaining way to rid the world of humans and dogs.- December

I don't think I'd hatch an evil scheme, although the costume sounds fun... I'd be like that boy in that episode of Star Trek when he get's angry his eyes turn up and he goes "NO!" and things disappear and stuff. I'd be doing that with my wand. Slowly disappearing people and things that displease me. First on the list: cars replete with an ignorant driver, McDonalds, KKK and similar organisations, bad parents, doubts about self-image and people who eat weird combinations of food like chocolate and cheese & onion crisps. I would, however, replace all forms of transport with teleporters so that national immigration and sanctions would mean absolutely nothing as people fly about the world willy-nilly and screw the polarised global economy to hell! Coffee mills in Ghana could sell their coffee direct to supermarkets around the world for a reasonable price without needing to ship it, people could go on Safaris without needing to pay a ridiculous airfare. OH IT WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL. Now give me that wand...- Mzebonga

A magic wand!!! I knew that Harry Potter was a true story in disguise! Now I'll go capture myself a house elf and never have to work another day of my life. And of course I'll scheme. everyone needs to scheme sometime in their life.- bluemonkeyfearer

I don't need a costume, or a scheme. With this wand, i will force all nations of earth to submit to my evil plan of pudding. The plan is, to take all the water out of the oceans, and fill them up with chocolate pudding instead. that way, we can go swimming, or get lost at sea, but still stay alive, because pudding will fill you up.- jenoah

yes.- chaos_zero

id take over the world naked. because id be called naked ruler of nakedland. id be quite awesome.- Jord

Yes! I would wear a a big skirt, a top hat and anything else on hand.- mo

I would not get a fancy costume but I would take over the world because if you have a costume then people know that something is going on, and i'd rather surprise people and stuff. And with my wand I would "eliminate" all mean people and I would make bring back jimi hendrix and i'd fuck him and then i'd make robert plant of led zeppelin young again, circa 1975ish, and i'd fuck him too.- Rachie pookie poo

Of course not, a magical wand is far more valuable and empowering than that. It'd make a mean bookstop, though.- Fish

No. Naked is the way. Always the way...- Boblob

well, first of all i'd use the wand to make myself able to understand the way a woman thinks... then i'd probably be so horrified i'd erase that bit of info... Second, i would make me a villain suit, out of black leather, with shiny silver studs and zippers, and draw some arcane pattern markings in dark green on it. As for telling the world my evil plan...nah... i love it when they all get down on their knees crying and asking "why god ?, WHY ME ?!?" Of course, if i never show myself to the world, the costume would be pretty useless, but i like leather *grin*- Blinder

Magic wands? Costumes? Taking over the world is one thing, but looking gay while you do it is another.- j0eg0d

no, i zap my kitty so she is 100 times bigger, let her play out in the back garden, then make a fuckin huge ass amp and i mean like the size of a city, then play some heavy fuckin metal through it and see what happens, whitch also will piss my cat off n she will start biting people and flinging them around, whilst gobling up groups of birds fyling around all at the same time lmao! then i would make someone put me as king of the world for the price of turning the heavy fuckin metal down, then ill but out microsoft and send it to hell. then light up a joint, n give it out to kids. i wont realy, your all talkin shit, literaly, u got poo stains on your face. and i dont have a chiwawa u lying twunt! its only got 1 eye aswell, n 17 legs. go av a baf u dirty sheep blue sock monkey. Id just like to add... im already the king of spain, and my new magic wand like jargermister. +4 and a half.- Dark Angel

first i must test the abilitys of the wand! AAAH success It makes me wish that i were a boy again! then i am a boy! damn that worked fast! well now i need a large silver space ship to pilot! one cordially appears! man this things is king gear! glancing at the wand. boarding the space ship this plan forms in my mind... descending on the white house right through all security by freezing time and then restarting it when i am again in normal time i will have the president at wand point! and i will scream allright george dubya bush i am erasing you and all your cronies and faimily members you shall not exist to plunder the earhs vast mineral resources any more! we will banish you to the farthest regions of space time perhaps into the end of the universe. that accomplishe i would then take over all media personell and get them to all come to a large press conference and then release them from my control and laugh! i am now your king bow to me in reverence for i am you new ruler for eternity!!! hahah!!!!at which point the y would all bow too me!!! and the world would become a rotting theocracy with me as god man pharoh eventually we would cover the planet with city and live on genetically engineered lab grown food from giant farms in the tunnels, and iwould use my magice to eventually form a dysons sphere around the sun and the harness the suns energy as propulsion and sail the sun to a hydrogen field and refuel it before it dies, and so man makes ever more extensive pods of humans to populate appropriate enviroments. And thus the cycle would start again and again! - thathinguywhois

If making Hubba Bubba the offical bubble gum of New York State is an "evil plan," call me Satan. Anyway, I don't think a fancy costume is necessary. Any costume is fine, as long as it has plenty of pockets and an elastic waistband. And I don't see why an elaborate scheme is necessary if you have the magic wand, but it would certainly make my autobiography and the subsequent made-for-TV movie more interesting.- PRchick

First i would go and find Harry Potter... - Kellykins

I'd turn everyone into picles and swiss cheese so they couldn't resist. I'd walk around naked because Clothes suck, and who would be able to complain about my wang flapping in the wind ?-me

Well, I certainly will give up on any sort of physical movement after I gain a magical wand...so no finding, looking, or joint abrasion for me... the magic wand would become my limbs and stir me up an all leather suit with a make-shift face illusion of an celeb, um, simon from simon and garfunkel.... yes the last name slips me at the moment. So As him taking over the owrld would be a comforting thought to everyone as I hum ... Bridge over trouble water.... do do do do... course I''d have to destroy simon so he doesnt blow my cover or make him my sidekick.. which every manical homoerotic superhero needs... exspecially the plot twist at the end when my plans are foiled and it is discovered that there are two simons! which makes billions in revenue for telev... nevermind ... anyways... THe announcement would be a release as a new remake of one of s&g's classics Mrs. Robinson... except the lyrics will explain the up coming plan... "Hey Hey Hey, weaker humans, jesus and all religion has abandoned you, cus heres the truth.... I''m here to rulllee you... do do do, banana." Eh, I think my sidekick will borrow some of his talents and make an entire album called "Evil Manaical" a theme album that features all songs taking about "me(him) the future world leader...of course people will talk... and then the wand will sparkle and I'd sit on a live lion as a team of racecar drivers bathed my feet in cold tea. Ahem... here it comes MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhHHH..aggh..agh...ha...!!!!- dubular

How did you know I do that? Well that's beside the point. Ooooh a wand. Well I'd use my wand to make me a sparkly tu tu and one of those weird sweat shirts that they wore in the 80's, yeah, you know the one's. I have pictures of you wearing them. Anyway, I'll also have on leg warmers and converse. Now to announce my plans of world domination, I will poof myself onto the set of Conan O'Brian's show, and have a live asassination, while standing on his desk, announcing that unless people want to follow suit of Mr. O'Brian, they will all worship me now. I then invade the white house, paint it black and red and lock the "president" in the closet, with only a yellow crayon. - monkeeskittles

of course I have a lovely fancy costume to wear.. it took me forveer to make!, and yes I also have a plan.. I'm going to use the gummy bears of the world to come to life and help me take over the world!!!- SG*

I'd test out the wand before buying anything. I'd wave it around like Harry Potter was taught to--swish and flick--and recite spells from those books: Lumos! Avada Kedevra! Then I'd realize just how much of a nerd I am for knowing so much about Harry Potter and his world that I'd put the wand down and cry.- McDiablo

no i'd probably just take over the world in jeans and a t-shirt and with no plan whatsoever. I mean all the villians that take the time to plan and get fancy outfits just end up being beaten by the bad guy so I figure if i take absolutely no time whatsoever to plan or try then I won't be beaten by the good guy!- BoredBlondChick5

Yes! I'm wearing an uber nifty top hat! Muahahahaa...And my hamster army shall rule the world with their uber nifty top hatyness!!!- InstantOatmeal

yea sure i would no1 takes an evil person serious if they'r wearing jeans and a t! put on a fairy outfit and u r sorted! - hybridtheory033!

1) No! Why would I have to find a costume, when I could just 'ping' or 'whoosh!' myself one, with the magik wand? 2) Yeah! Then, after they're done saying 'You cant take over the world with watermelons, fryingpans, and a fleet of flying monkeys!' I would take over the world. Just to prove the bloody assholes wrong! And then I would have millions and millions of watermelon farms. Bwa-ha-ha!- Asylm Chik

Hell yeah!- Anna

I wouldn't need to FIND a fancy costume, i could magic one with my magic wand! Fish pond. It would be purple and sparkly, and show off my ass. As for announcing my plan to the world, I wouldn't! Because then they'd all know the plan, and be able to stop me! Unless I magiced (should that be double 'c'? magicced...... hmm... not sure) them so they would just let me take over the world with my magic wand. James Bond. In which case, that would be the plan! Using my magic wand (la maison grande) I would magic everyone to let me take over the world! I'm a genius!- Superman Dave

blikety-blam ala-kazam i wanna lota weed! nuff said- jiggz420

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