: February 2005

You live in an apartment, and hear a loud popping noise from your neighbors apartment each Friday night. It goes on for about an hour. POP POP POP. Finally, after about a month, you decide to go investigate. Knocking on the door, he comes to the door looking sweaty. Behind him, balloons are floating around. There is an ice pick in his hand. On the floor by his feet, you can see bits of color, and realize they're popped balloons. One bounces into view and it's got a face drawn on it, and sort of looks like you. Your neighbor, seeing the balloon, hits it away. As it bobs away, you see it has your name written on the back of it. You realize that every Friday night, he's in here stabbing balloons with your and other people's names on them. He's staring at you with wide eyes. What do you say or do now?

I wait until he goes to work in the morning (he must have a well-paid job to be able to afford all those balloons) and fill up his balloons with diarrhoea laced with skin melting acid, a lovely surprise for him for Friday night. That'll teach him to pop my balloon face.- December

"Once you pop, you can't stop."- Mzebonga

Just close the door...and walk away. As I slowly edge my way back to my apartment, I devise a plan. I quickly set up a system of booby traps around his doors and windows, making it so that he cannot escape his home without suffering fatal injuries. I then call upon the other neighbor's rottweiler to gaurd the house and be sure he does not leave. eventually the guy will have to get out of his house. He can't have any more than his Y2K stocks to live off of. When he opens his door/window and gets impaled, crushed or poisoned, I'll let the rottweiler bury his stinking corpse and leave the booby traps for the sad and pathetically nosy neighborhood children to discover.- bluemonkeyfearer

Here, have a beer. I see you've been popping my balloon. It's not very nice. If you filled them with water, or beer, and then consumed the contents after you popped them, I would smile. But since you have no girlfriend, i guess you have no better way to spend your money than on balloons. And if you can blow up all those balloons by yourself, maybe you should take up a wind instrument, like the flute. That way, your amazing lung capacity wouldn't be wasted on beerless balloons. I love you. Please come over.- jenoah

I say: "PENIS!!!" and jack off- chaos_zero

i would think hes wierd and just walk away just walk away- juggalo13

I get naked and say POP- Jord

I scream at him in Japenesse and threaten him with my magic wand as the dog gnaws on his leg- mo

i'd stab him in the face with my shoe- Rachie pookie poo

Introduce myself, lean languorously on the doorframe and ask him out.- Fish

Pop him. Traitor.- Boblob

"howdy, neighbor... i just came to ask you if you don't mind a bit of noise... i just bought myself a brand new 12 gauge Winchester shotgun and i want to try some buckshot in the backyard, see how much damage it does to varmints... Hey, nice ice pick ! i do prefer using a 15 inch, chemically sharpened, double-edged, full tang, bowie knife tho... a bit messy on the blood side, but hell, it's worth it !"- Blinder

Well, I know what the noise of a balloon popping sounds like, but you should have heard the POP my neighbor's head made.- j0eg0d

ill tel you what i do, fuck all. this day of age what can you do? get him arested for popin balloons? Realy, id take the ice pic, shove it up his ass, pull it out and plant it in the fuckers head. nobrash- Dark Angel

wanna put that in my forehead buddy! Wanna try that bullshit go ahead put that right there I got nuthing ta live for anyway! hopefully he would then drop to the ground and admit that he is gay in a high weeping whiny weak voice, and that the balloons are all guys he would like to fuck and that he was frustrated becuse so many were straight and the ones on the balloons were all the straight ones, at which point I would say I respect your right to choose your own sexual preference how ever your atraction to me is repellent and I find your behaviour towards the balloons very loud and noisome and would like it not to continue in the future. He then in a raving mad voice would say like a gravelly biker "Hey buddy I am going to fuck you !!!!" then I would have to taser him with a toaster which was by the sink which I bent the element out of it and also, after I splashed him with water, made a perfect disabling device. Mmm i say noncomitally as I prop him up in a corner with a chainsaw and the bodys of small boa snakes and large flies crawling on them. Well that does it bye for now you stinky loser! - thathinguywhois

I'd do the same thing I did for the neighbor who named his potatoes and cried before putting them in the microwave bake him some brownies and hope he gets a job in another city.- PRchick

Do you have any with your name on them??- Kellykins

All that's running through my mind in that instant is "What... The ... Fuck? You practice stress releif through baloon popping too ? I thought I was the only one!" then every friday we'd get together and merrily pop balloons with the names of people we just plain despise. What a happy ending.-me

"I'm still alive! Do you like me more then the other people? What a compliment, you know that I do this all the time!...except you know not fridays i set aside for drinking and socializing... I''m such a dullard... but you know I do it in a way quiter fashion want to hear about it?.... ....WELL! I write really nasty nasty things on a plain peice of paper and then after I''m finished with about a hundred sheets, I drive with them down to the recycling depot and excahnge it for cash, laong with some bottles I stole from there garbage... then when I see them I give them some of that change and giggle knowing that money was produced by hate... Isnt that the neatest?"...Then I''d welcome myself into his bedroom and sit on his couch sigh and fall asleep.- dubular

I will first, kick him in his private area and while he's down, I will run into the apartment, take my balloon, kick him one more time for good measure, then run back to my apartment. Then every Friday from then on, I'd sit outside his apartment and as each balloon pops, I'll scream in different voices, hopefully making him think the balloons are alive.- monkeeskittles

I say 'Oh, yu have the balloon-popping-with-peoples-names-and-faces-on-them fetish too?' smile and then turn around and walk away..- SG*

"Is that another ice pick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" Hey, that line worked for me once....in a dream.- McDiablo

I'd say "Do I know you"? Why are you attacking baloons with my face on it? I never did nothing to you dude so STOP! Then I take the ice pick, grab a balloon and a marker, put HIS face on it, pop it and stomp on it and then make him eat it to prove my point!- BoredBlondChick5

I help him kill that bastard of a baloon who stole my damn name...DIE!!!- InstantOatmeal

i say erm gotta go, run off and call the copps- hybridtheory033!

Me: *blank stare* Him: I.. uhh... Me: *look of horror* Him: ... Me: Hey... can I join you?!- Asylm Chik

RUN!!!- Anna

Chew his face off. Bastard. He can't treat my balloon name-sake like that. As long as he hasnt discovered what i do with my hermit crabs that is.- Superman Dave

"dude wanna smoke a blunt?"- jiggz420

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